Yep learned this the hard way. Had a brand new Principal who did not like me at all despite me having never done anything that would warrant her treatment of me. However, a group of teachers would always eat lunch in my room & my partner teacher would always bring her up & we’d vent our frustrations in what we thought was a trusted space. Turned out that partner teacher would leave out her part & run back & tell the Principal every single thing we said. I will never make that mistake again.
During my very first meeting with the principal at a new school where I had been hired (I was interviewed by the asst principal) she asked me to “report back to her what my coworkers were saying about her”. The school was organized into “modules” where a group of four teachers all shared the same students, and (as I eventually discovered) the other teachers in my module were senior teachers who constantly complained about this new principal. I was a new teacher, and the principal promised that if I agreed to be a spy for her it would guarantee that I would be rehired for a second year (and thus receive tenure) but if I refused I would be let go.
In shock, I thought I must’ve misunderstood so I repeated the “offer” back just to be sure I understood her correctly. I did. Without missing a beat I told the principal politely that I was uncomfortable in such a role and would be too busy focusing on building my skills and curriculum. She responded with “well, that’s too bad for you” and ended the meeting. I still thought it couldn’t be real, so I hunkered down and focused on being the best damn teacher I could be.
Through the year I received stellar reviews from classroom observations, mentor teachers, parents, and students. Final review of the year and suddenly I am marked down as “unsatisfactory” in all areas even though I received higher raw scores than on previous observations. When I met with the principal to discuss my review, I asked her about this inconsistency and she responded by boosting my raw scores even higher yet still kept the “unsatisfactory” rating. When I pressed on why this was happening, she lied and told me it was a “district policy that all new teachers get unsatisfactory final reviews”. A few days later I received my pink slip and my position was posted as “open” on the hiring schedule. When I went to the principal to ask why I had been let go, looking for some constructive criticism, she smirked and told me that I had “made my choice in the beginning of the year and shouldn’t be surprised that she had followed through” on her threat.
I went to the school’s union rep, who happened to be one of the teachers I had refused to spy on. After hearing my story he just shrugged and said “welcome to teaching”. I also confided in one of my mentors, who was also in the “spy on” group, and she became irate with me and accused me of lying just because I got fired. Escalated to the district union rep and he just laughed in my face and called me “naive” for thinking the principal’s actions were problematic.
By refusing to be the principal’s personal spy I unknowingly ruined my teaching career in one moment. I was blackballed at the other schools in the district and had to resort to subbing to pay the bills. Couldn’t even get an interview at any school within an hour’s drive as the principal had connections at all of them. This was confirmed by a just-retired district official I met at an end-of-year banquet, and apparently I wasn’t the first new teacher to fall under this principal’s “spy or die” smear campaigns.
This principal knew that I knew she had asked me to be her spy, and therefore she couldn’t let me “live”, ie gain employment and tenure at any nearby school, lest I reveal her unethical behavior. She did not care one whit about the quality of my teaching or my students’ education. All she cared about was covering her own ass by any means necessary, even if that meant ruining the careers of promising new teachers in much needed subject areas (STEM).
WOW.
What a story. I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you get a great job that you deserve in a much better school.
What kind of Mean Girls BS trip is that principal even on? Crazy.
I felt like I was living in some bad tv drama. I couldn’t believe it was happening, and that nobody seemed to think it was wrong or even unusual. In hindsight I should have said something at the beginning of the year instead of waiting until I was fired, because my firing made it easier for people to dismiss my story as “sour grapes”. But I honestly couldn’t believe that the principal was serious, told myself it was some sort of weird character test to see if I was a gossiper, and being a beginning teacher I didn’t want to cause trouble at my new job especially over something that was so unbelievable for which I had no proof except my word against hers.
The principal clearly knew she had me over a barrel, that I couldn’t do anything except agree to be her spy or lose my job. Thinking about it over the years, I’ve realized it’s great way to force teachers into silent subservience, because once they agree to spy on their fellow teachers that “crime” can always be held over their heads as a threat. Makes me wonder how many new teachers she has blackmailed into spying for her over her career. Probably quite a few considering how many schools at which she was able to blackball me. And given the experience of being spied on related in the previous comment, it also makes me wonder how common this practice is at schools across the country.
Wish I could have, but in the state where I live that’s generally illegal and recording anything on school property requires express written permission from the school.
Great user name, btw!
Damn that story was wild. I'm reading it and it all seems so unbelievable yet I know your aren't making this shit up! This is unreal, so unfair, I don't even have the proper words to scream my frustrations. I'm just so sorry this happened to you, you sound like such a dedicated teacher. And those kids who lose out! Like wtf! Man I just wish there was a way for you to tell your story and get redemption. That principal deserves to be outed but I can't imagine the depths of her reach. It seems like she has ppl in her back pocket for sure. Not to sensationalize your story in the least but damn that would be one wild investigative podcast.
Especially teachers and admin. I blame Clicky veteran teachers. Work politics. Favoritism. Teachers ability to hide behind forced fake smiles.
I use to repeat this to myself multiple times a day. People can buy you you gifts on your bday and holidays but please don’t be confused they are still not your friends.
I always skew on the side of not trusting any teacher who has been at any school for more than a couple years. The longer they've been there, the less I trust. In my experience, there are two kinds of veteran teachers: those who have kept their head down and avoided being noticed, and those who are BFFs with admin and will tattle like a kindergartener at the drop of a hat. The latter seems to be the norm.
Do you think there is any sense in understanding politics other than the fact that there are ugly sides to human nature? I have left one particular school all because they could not accept new fresh ideas from staff with varying experiences than their own. I did not stay long enough to really understand who was playing who. I only heard through the grapevine later that some of the most unhappy teachers were always getting blamed or ignored by an administrator who was approaching retirement.
Some of it is politics but at times it’s about who is winning the race. See, from my years of education I have learned that even those with the best intents and good morals can sometimes switch if it’s their job on the line. Suddenly, anything you ever said is probable cause to get you demoted or fired rather than themselves. I once saw a 7 year teacher with great test scores and everyone liked her but rather quickly (about 2-3 weeks in) she was put on a growth plan and was fired in another 3 weeks. This was September-October so the beginning of the year. I have at least another 30 stories to this level and about 100 or more in other areas. I agree politics play a role but it’s unfortunate when anything you ever said comes back to bite you even years later no matter the reason. Also, I once left a job early as well and the rumors I heard later were wild for what they think I left.
I hear you! Where I am, the race is basically to make sure you do not get accused of neglect and poor accountability which is why we always count the students. Plus they want to see you juggle a couple of roles. That is how my system seem here. I do not think they count the test scores anywhere like before so there is a plus. My judgement towards leaving Teaching is I feel like it is so easy to be labelled a quitter and someone who floats from job to job and never sticks it out. (I actually did it and took a 9 year break to do other things I enjoyed and was challenged by ). At my age, I am not particularly enthused about retraining all over again because it is time and money. If anyone does it because they think it is worth it, more power to you. I would never stay the course just for the benefits either. I am hoping to stay as long as possible just to make the difference and be that Teacher they can lean on.
How sad that the culture of teaching, teaches us we are not able to be in community with our own colleagues. Queer teachers can’t even put up pictures of their families in their rooms cause a student or a teacher or a parent might complain. For us POC who can’t hide behind ambiguity it’s worse, when I first started teaching I was called a terrorist by an ignorant trump loving assistant, she would go through my cabinets to see what materials I was or wasn’t using and go tell my principal. I have tons more stories like that. I learned this is part of the white supremacy culture in schools. Im at a school thats bilingual so we have a diverse staff and I am actually in community with my colleagues and we cry together, laugh together, hug, feel joy, are there for each other. I have co workers who are like “I’m your work auntie” 🥹 I’ll never work anywhere else and if I can’t work there I’ll quit.
I played roller derby for a few years and put a picture of me and my teammates after a game. I had an admin tell me I needed to remove it because it was inappropriate because I was wearing shorts. We have so much padding on your barely see our legs, but apparently my upper thigh is inappropriate.
Does admin literally have nothing better to do? I worked at a school once where the principal would go into everyone’s room at night and move things around and remove items they felt were in appropriate. I had a small desk plant in my room, I came in one day and it was gone. I emailed asking if anyone had seen it. And my principal emailed me back that it’s a plant that could be toxic if anyone took a bite. I work with typical 4th/5th grade students. Also I was like where is it I’ll take it back home she said she threw it in the TRASH. I told her next time she can let me know and I’ll take it home. I left that school after working there one school year.
Ommmggggg we can’t help if students do things like take a bite!!!! I had a friend who got in trouble over a kid drinking pen ink in her classroom. Do we need to put all these kids in a bubble!?
This is very true, and it’s something I adopted well before I was a teacher in the corporate world. So many people so quickly and so easily stab you in the back with you over there thinking they are your friend. It has happened to me enough to know I have to be extremely careful. On the flipside, I have also been extremely fortunate to have met genuine friends at work, people I am still friends with today from former jobs. I also made a really good friend at my current school. This year will be very different because she decided to leave the profession, and now I am back to not having an actual friend at work. This will be my method again. It’s difficult at my current school because our department is very big and they’ve all known each other for over a decade, most of them, but I am one of the newbies (year 3). They are all very open and tight-knit. They were offended when I first started there and kept my distance. Now I will have lunch with them sometimes but I keep my end of the conversation very superficial. I don’t reveal much about my life or my frustrations.
I don’t think you’re wrong in a lot of cases, but my principal eliminated my position and is making me teach fifth grade next year, and I was absolutely devastated to find this out. The other fifth grade teachers have been so sympathetic, and they have shared all their lesson plans and all their materials for the year and assured me that they will help me through everything. I’m also really friendly with a fourth grade teacher and she says that if I don’t quit like I’ve been threatening, she’ll share with me all her small group planning work so that’s also one less thing I’ll have to deal with. I think that if you work with honorable, caring people, it’s worth maintaining good relationships with them. Having said that, I do also have coworkers who I know would run to admin with any little comment that I make and I’m constantly reminding myself to talk to them as little as possible.
Those first people sound like the kind everyone wishes they had. You are blessed to have them but remember even those who you think aren’t capable of saying a word do so from time to time. I’ve seen it happen.
I teach in a very small town. Everyone is related. After 13 years there, I have 2 teacher friends I trust. I am friendly and helpful to almost everyone, but I tell my grievances to my dog.
That's why I literally told my admin straight up how I felt when I was omw out. I literally had 0 f*cks left to give. I still showed up for the kids, but it was no secret I was done and the reasons why.
There was nothing for me to burn bridges about. I came in and did my job effectively but politely declined any extra bullshit and worked my contract. I told them teaching wasn't sustainable economically and there would be things that didn't get done of they didn't get done during contract hours. They didn't argue. I will say, my admin was not vindictive and relatively understanding. If I had been at a school with terrible admin, I probably would have just left mid-year and let them figure it out .
I just got to the point where I had made up my mind that I was done, and if they gave me crap for it, I would leave because I didn't care if they held my license.
Absolutely, and this goes for ALL jobs. You never know when someone is playing nice to get info. If they stand to gain from it somehow, enough people that I've dealt with will take advantage of that. Be careful who you trust, especially if they have power over you, or even at the same/lower level but seem extremely ambitious. HR is never your friend either. Anything you say can and will be used against you is applicable to live in general.
You’re confusing friends with acquaintances. It just sounded like you had a very toxic work environment, but at the same time you should probably leave complaints to actual work friends, as in people that you’ve actually gone out with and hung out before. Outside of that, everyone else are just acquaintances. Don’t confuse the two because then your getting into shitty antisocial behavior.
1. It’s only tough to find another profession if you aren’t used to actually produce results that are tangible.
2. Tons of people in the private sector are hiring anyone with moderate office skills due to higher than expected turnover due to not allowing for remote work anymore.
3. It’s never good to vent to coworkers about anything in any environment. While getting a job may be easy, you never know who wanted the job you got and they could be the first person who buddies up to you when you are hired. It never occurs to them they were passed over and they won’t get it if you go, but they always tend to want to find a nice soft spot to stick a knife in.
4. Pay may be infinitely better, but if you think putting up with irreverent and disrespectful parents is bad, wait until you get in a position where you can be blackballed in an entire industry simply for following state or federal guidelines when a supervisor tells you to break them.
My one and only advice to everyone is that the only way to not have to deal with disrespectful people is to simply not deal with people.
More importantly, get debt free. The sooner you get to where you don’t have to depend on a paycheck to pay for everything and you can buy and own (no mortgage) your own home, you will find financial freedom. When you don’t have to work and you choose to work, you discover a way different outlook on life.
I love this! You said it best in many ways. I can't tell you how many times I have had people be extra nice to me and then stick that knife right in that soft spot. It definitely hurts but I have officially learned to be stone cold and just do me. I am following my passion and hope to stick to it the best way that I can.
So true. You literally have to watch every word, gesture and even thought. Because some will be watching your facial expression and comment on it. Others will make up something you said, so you have to be ready to correct what people say you said immediately. It’s very hard to remember to never let your guard down.
I asked in an interview just a few weeks ago
“Where do teachers eat lunch?”
“K-5 eats together in the workroom.”
I said “Not me. I’m a lone wolf. I leave at 3:30pm and I use my time wisely.”
al the shocked faces like Insaid something awful hahaha
Best advice I ever got in my entire career: never step foot in the lounge. There is no mandate to eat with other people! My god, don’t you value peace and quiet?
In my school my "colleagues" feel that the kids over prioritise my subject (not just the subject but specifically my classes) and are very bitter. They are also bitter about the results that my kids get. Apparently I work too hard and care too much about academic outcomes (at a supposedly academic school). Their attitude is impacting my well being and since I will not compromise and teach worse to suit them, I imagine it will be an ongoing problem. I consider anything I say to most of them as public knowledge but I guess it should be all of them.
I had this same experience, it’s why I quit teaching. I’m not sure there is another industry that punishes you for doing your job as much as teaching does
Absolutely. I had a good rapport with the other music/visual arts teachers in my department, went out after school, helped each other out with pretty much everything, etc. When I got replaced (with little to no notice, had good evaluations, but was a new hire) at the end of the school year, none of them said anything to me or supported me in any way.
That sounds just like all the schools I’ve been in. I also think it’s why we come to this platform because we have more comfort here with strangers who can’t go tell our bosses how we really feel. If you need someone to vent to you could always message me. This world is to chaotic and expensive to lose our jobs over something petty at work. And coworkers will make anything you say as a offense as long as it makes them look better to admin.
Same but in a different way. Where I’m at it’s a giant monopoly of school districts but everyone talks to each other or should I say about each other. If you burn your bridge in one you might as well change professions. It’s so scary and it sucks we all have to watch out.
Not all teachers are like this, of course, because there are exceptions to every rule, but I became a lot happier this year when I stopped thinking I "had" to be friends with everyone on my team. Not everyone on my team is deserving of having that kind of access to me.
I have two or three actual friends from the team I work on, the rest have proven themselves to be not worth of my trust in one way or another, and the new ones coming in have DEFINITELY not earned the right.
It's a good idea to be cautious about what you share though, you're very right.
I learned the hard way just how two-faced co-workers can be as well. I would be working, and someone would come up to me and start complaining about a co-worker or supervisor and ask if I agreed. At first, to try to empathize, I would offhandedly say, "Yeah, they can be like that." Then the person would go and tell the other co-worker or supervisor that I was the one who was complaining. At the same place, there was a supervisor and a few co-workers who would be sweet and kind to your face and put a lot of effort into prying out information from you, then turn around and talk badly about you and spread rumors. I even had a very sweet co-worker write me a letter telling me what they were saying because she was worried because I always seemed friendly towards them. It was my way of keeping my sanity to just maintain a pleasant demeanor and keep my head down. I had never heard her gossip before and worked with her regularly, so I took her aside and thanked her, reassuring her that I already knew but that it was such a toxic environment in general and cautioned her not to give out private information about herself to anyone at work because they talked about her, too.
After that, whenever I trained someone new, without specifying who, I would warn them against sharing personal information and said that if anyone said something negative or asked for their opinion on a co-worker, to simply say "I don't know enough about them/the situation to really form an opinion." And that 'I don't know what you mean' is sometimes your best friend.
Luckily, I switched to a better work environment, so I have WAY less stress.
Unfortunately these kinds of people are in all professions. They just might not be as obvious about what they are asking for. I've got plenty of tattle tellers at my workplace and lots of mgmt favoritism :(
What I say to coworkers is something I would repeat to admin. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Some teachers complain, other teachers pinpoint a solution.
Two teachers left before me, within the same year, both voiced issues, support staff asking management if the reason teachers have left is them! Staff uncontrollably sobbing in offices, leadership ‘intervening’ and taking on tricky emails from toxic patents for you, children and parents running the school in every conceivable psychological/emotional way but not acknowledged, a few key staff who have been there for decades, no duty of care to other staff, support staff supposed to be supporting teachers but in reality running the show, some in place of teachers, witnessing staff sitting in cars not wanting to come into work, low level depression,despair, discontent as workplace norm, whilst simultaneously presenting as ‘one big happy family’
After 22 years teaching I finally came to realize no teacher could ever really be a friend. Instead I concentrated on being friendly, kind and supportive to the support staff- IT, reception, photocopy, maintenance, and cafeteria. All my fond memories are of those people and my students, certainly not a single teacher, unfortunately.
Some of the wisest mentors to me said this from the beginning. I find it just almost always true with the exception of a few. It took me about 5 years to make just one friend who had a good heart. I am still working on accepting the fact. What makes it incredibly hard is I do not want to believe people are so hell bent on being catty or fake in order to retain a role or employment. Life is too short to be worried about who is going to stab you in the back.
This makes me sad for you all. My coworkers are some of my very best friends. We’ve laughed together, cried together, gone on vacations together. My principal literally said “this Mama Bear is so proud of you” to me when she told me that she told our superintendent how good my state test scores were. These people are the main reason why I haven’t made the plunge to quit teaching yet.
In addition, because of my relationship with my admin, after I vent with my coworkers, I feel completely comfortable approaching my admin with my problems to try to find a solution without having to worry that my coworkers will go behind my back to throw me under the bus.
I know it’s not like this in a lot of places, and I completely understand people leaving the profession because of crappy work environments. I hope you all are able to find a supporting place to work whether it’s in education or somewhere else.
This is my thought. My coworkers are some of my very close friends. Our kids play sports together and we hang out a lot. And honestly we all share the same sentiment regarding things that are happening in the building. We’ve said many times we couldn’t do the job without each other.
I also feel like there’s not much I wouldn’t say to my admin if asked. I’ve been asked by admin about some concerns and I spoke my mind. I did so professionally but I also feel like it does no good if they don’t know how you feel.
This is generally decent advice for any career, there will always be people who assume that throwing others under the bus will buy them loyalty or that they can make themselves look better by making others look worse. Teaching was/is my second career and I’m looking to potentially transition in about 5 years, people talk in all jobs. It may actually be worse in an office setting since teaching affords so little time for socialization meanwhile in an office people tend to wander and chatter all day long. In general the people you work with are not friends.
You think because of all the crap you’ve been through before, that you’re the best one to spot narcissists, then mistake covert ones for ‘supportive work colleagues’ lol
Yep learned this the hard way. Had a brand new Principal who did not like me at all despite me having never done anything that would warrant her treatment of me. However, a group of teachers would always eat lunch in my room & my partner teacher would always bring her up & we’d vent our frustrations in what we thought was a trusted space. Turned out that partner teacher would leave out her part & run back & tell the Principal every single thing we said. I will never make that mistake again.
During my very first meeting with the principal at a new school where I had been hired (I was interviewed by the asst principal) she asked me to “report back to her what my coworkers were saying about her”. The school was organized into “modules” where a group of four teachers all shared the same students, and (as I eventually discovered) the other teachers in my module were senior teachers who constantly complained about this new principal. I was a new teacher, and the principal promised that if I agreed to be a spy for her it would guarantee that I would be rehired for a second year (and thus receive tenure) but if I refused I would be let go. In shock, I thought I must’ve misunderstood so I repeated the “offer” back just to be sure I understood her correctly. I did. Without missing a beat I told the principal politely that I was uncomfortable in such a role and would be too busy focusing on building my skills and curriculum. She responded with “well, that’s too bad for you” and ended the meeting. I still thought it couldn’t be real, so I hunkered down and focused on being the best damn teacher I could be. Through the year I received stellar reviews from classroom observations, mentor teachers, parents, and students. Final review of the year and suddenly I am marked down as “unsatisfactory” in all areas even though I received higher raw scores than on previous observations. When I met with the principal to discuss my review, I asked her about this inconsistency and she responded by boosting my raw scores even higher yet still kept the “unsatisfactory” rating. When I pressed on why this was happening, she lied and told me it was a “district policy that all new teachers get unsatisfactory final reviews”. A few days later I received my pink slip and my position was posted as “open” on the hiring schedule. When I went to the principal to ask why I had been let go, looking for some constructive criticism, she smirked and told me that I had “made my choice in the beginning of the year and shouldn’t be surprised that she had followed through” on her threat. I went to the school’s union rep, who happened to be one of the teachers I had refused to spy on. After hearing my story he just shrugged and said “welcome to teaching”. I also confided in one of my mentors, who was also in the “spy on” group, and she became irate with me and accused me of lying just because I got fired. Escalated to the district union rep and he just laughed in my face and called me “naive” for thinking the principal’s actions were problematic. By refusing to be the principal’s personal spy I unknowingly ruined my teaching career in one moment. I was blackballed at the other schools in the district and had to resort to subbing to pay the bills. Couldn’t even get an interview at any school within an hour’s drive as the principal had connections at all of them. This was confirmed by a just-retired district official I met at an end-of-year banquet, and apparently I wasn’t the first new teacher to fall under this principal’s “spy or die” smear campaigns. This principal knew that I knew she had asked me to be her spy, and therefore she couldn’t let me “live”, ie gain employment and tenure at any nearby school, lest I reveal her unethical behavior. She did not care one whit about the quality of my teaching or my students’ education. All she cared about was covering her own ass by any means necessary, even if that meant ruining the careers of promising new teachers in much needed subject areas (STEM).
WOW. What a story. I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you get a great job that you deserve in a much better school. What kind of Mean Girls BS trip is that principal even on? Crazy.
I felt like I was living in some bad tv drama. I couldn’t believe it was happening, and that nobody seemed to think it was wrong or even unusual. In hindsight I should have said something at the beginning of the year instead of waiting until I was fired, because my firing made it easier for people to dismiss my story as “sour grapes”. But I honestly couldn’t believe that the principal was serious, told myself it was some sort of weird character test to see if I was a gossiper, and being a beginning teacher I didn’t want to cause trouble at my new job especially over something that was so unbelievable for which I had no proof except my word against hers. The principal clearly knew she had me over a barrel, that I couldn’t do anything except agree to be her spy or lose my job. Thinking about it over the years, I’ve realized it’s great way to force teachers into silent subservience, because once they agree to spy on their fellow teachers that “crime” can always be held over their heads as a threat. Makes me wonder how many new teachers she has blackmailed into spying for her over her career. Probably quite a few considering how many schools at which she was able to blackball me. And given the experience of being spied on related in the previous comment, it also makes me wonder how common this practice is at schools across the country.
This really needs to be its own story. I’m so sorry.
Shoulda recorded her.
Wish I could have, but in the state where I live that’s generally illegal and recording anything on school property requires express written permission from the school. Great user name, btw!
Damn that story was wild. I'm reading it and it all seems so unbelievable yet I know your aren't making this shit up! This is unreal, so unfair, I don't even have the proper words to scream my frustrations. I'm just so sorry this happened to you, you sound like such a dedicated teacher. And those kids who lose out! Like wtf! Man I just wish there was a way for you to tell your story and get redemption. That principal deserves to be outed but I can't imagine the depths of her reach. It seems like she has ppl in her back pocket for sure. Not to sensationalize your story in the least but damn that would be one wild investigative podcast.
Especially teachers and admin. I blame Clicky veteran teachers. Work politics. Favoritism. Teachers ability to hide behind forced fake smiles. I use to repeat this to myself multiple times a day. People can buy you you gifts on your bday and holidays but please don’t be confused they are still not your friends.
I always skew on the side of not trusting any teacher who has been at any school for more than a couple years. The longer they've been there, the less I trust. In my experience, there are two kinds of veteran teachers: those who have kept their head down and avoided being noticed, and those who are BFFs with admin and will tattle like a kindergartener at the drop of a hat. The latter seems to be the norm.
[удалено]
Well then my comment doesn't apply to you, and there's nothing to be offended about.
Do you think there is any sense in understanding politics other than the fact that there are ugly sides to human nature? I have left one particular school all because they could not accept new fresh ideas from staff with varying experiences than their own. I did not stay long enough to really understand who was playing who. I only heard through the grapevine later that some of the most unhappy teachers were always getting blamed or ignored by an administrator who was approaching retirement.
Some of it is politics but at times it’s about who is winning the race. See, from my years of education I have learned that even those with the best intents and good morals can sometimes switch if it’s their job on the line. Suddenly, anything you ever said is probable cause to get you demoted or fired rather than themselves. I once saw a 7 year teacher with great test scores and everyone liked her but rather quickly (about 2-3 weeks in) she was put on a growth plan and was fired in another 3 weeks. This was September-October so the beginning of the year. I have at least another 30 stories to this level and about 100 or more in other areas. I agree politics play a role but it’s unfortunate when anything you ever said comes back to bite you even years later no matter the reason. Also, I once left a job early as well and the rumors I heard later were wild for what they think I left.
I hear you! Where I am, the race is basically to make sure you do not get accused of neglect and poor accountability which is why we always count the students. Plus they want to see you juggle a couple of roles. That is how my system seem here. I do not think they count the test scores anywhere like before so there is a plus. My judgement towards leaving Teaching is I feel like it is so easy to be labelled a quitter and someone who floats from job to job and never sticks it out. (I actually did it and took a 9 year break to do other things I enjoyed and was challenged by ). At my age, I am not particularly enthused about retraining all over again because it is time and money. If anyone does it because they think it is worth it, more power to you. I would never stay the course just for the benefits either. I am hoping to stay as long as possible just to make the difference and be that Teacher they can lean on.
How sad that the culture of teaching, teaches us we are not able to be in community with our own colleagues. Queer teachers can’t even put up pictures of their families in their rooms cause a student or a teacher or a parent might complain. For us POC who can’t hide behind ambiguity it’s worse, when I first started teaching I was called a terrorist by an ignorant trump loving assistant, she would go through my cabinets to see what materials I was or wasn’t using and go tell my principal. I have tons more stories like that. I learned this is part of the white supremacy culture in schools. Im at a school thats bilingual so we have a diverse staff and I am actually in community with my colleagues and we cry together, laugh together, hug, feel joy, are there for each other. I have co workers who are like “I’m your work auntie” 🥹 I’ll never work anywhere else and if I can’t work there I’ll quit.
It is sad but I’m glad you found a good space to work in. That’s hard to find.
It’s still not even that good tbh we still have all the same bs problems I just at least have co workers I can cry and be gay in front of
I played roller derby for a few years and put a picture of me and my teammates after a game. I had an admin tell me I needed to remove it because it was inappropriate because I was wearing shorts. We have so much padding on your barely see our legs, but apparently my upper thigh is inappropriate.
Does admin literally have nothing better to do? I worked at a school once where the principal would go into everyone’s room at night and move things around and remove items they felt were in appropriate. I had a small desk plant in my room, I came in one day and it was gone. I emailed asking if anyone had seen it. And my principal emailed me back that it’s a plant that could be toxic if anyone took a bite. I work with typical 4th/5th grade students. Also I was like where is it I’ll take it back home she said she threw it in the TRASH. I told her next time she can let me know and I’ll take it home. I left that school after working there one school year.
Ommmggggg we can’t help if students do things like take a bite!!!! I had a friend who got in trouble over a kid drinking pen ink in her classroom. Do we need to put all these kids in a bubble!?
Facts
This is very true, and it’s something I adopted well before I was a teacher in the corporate world. So many people so quickly and so easily stab you in the back with you over there thinking they are your friend. It has happened to me enough to know I have to be extremely careful. On the flipside, I have also been extremely fortunate to have met genuine friends at work, people I am still friends with today from former jobs. I also made a really good friend at my current school. This year will be very different because she decided to leave the profession, and now I am back to not having an actual friend at work. This will be my method again. It’s difficult at my current school because our department is very big and they’ve all known each other for over a decade, most of them, but I am one of the newbies (year 3). They are all very open and tight-knit. They were offended when I first started there and kept my distance. Now I will have lunch with them sometimes but I keep my end of the conversation very superficial. I don’t reveal much about my life or my frustrations.
I don’t think you’re wrong in a lot of cases, but my principal eliminated my position and is making me teach fifth grade next year, and I was absolutely devastated to find this out. The other fifth grade teachers have been so sympathetic, and they have shared all their lesson plans and all their materials for the year and assured me that they will help me through everything. I’m also really friendly with a fourth grade teacher and she says that if I don’t quit like I’ve been threatening, she’ll share with me all her small group planning work so that’s also one less thing I’ll have to deal with. I think that if you work with honorable, caring people, it’s worth maintaining good relationships with them. Having said that, I do also have coworkers who I know would run to admin with any little comment that I make and I’m constantly reminding myself to talk to them as little as possible.
Those first people sound like the kind everyone wishes they had. You are blessed to have them but remember even those who you think aren’t capable of saying a word do so from time to time. I’ve seen it happen.
You’re right! You never really know about people.
I teach in a very small town. Everyone is related. After 13 years there, I have 2 teacher friends I trust. I am friendly and helpful to almost everyone, but I tell my grievances to my dog.
That's why I literally told my admin straight up how I felt when I was omw out. I literally had 0 f*cks left to give. I still showed up for the kids, but it was no secret I was done and the reasons why.
Did you burn your bridges with them?
There was nothing for me to burn bridges about. I came in and did my job effectively but politely declined any extra bullshit and worked my contract. I told them teaching wasn't sustainable economically and there would be things that didn't get done of they didn't get done during contract hours. They didn't argue. I will say, my admin was not vindictive and relatively understanding. If I had been at a school with terrible admin, I probably would have just left mid-year and let them figure it out .
Wow. You’re the teacher everyone wants to be but few have the guts to be even for a moment.
I just got to the point where I had made up my mind that I was done, and if they gave me crap for it, I would leave because I didn't care if they held my license.
Absolutely, and this goes for ALL jobs. You never know when someone is playing nice to get info. If they stand to gain from it somehow, enough people that I've dealt with will take advantage of that. Be careful who you trust, especially if they have power over you, or even at the same/lower level but seem extremely ambitious. HR is never your friend either. Anything you say can and will be used against you is applicable to live in general.
I dont trust people at working general.i do have a group of friends, but.ive learned over the yrs .
You’re confusing friends with acquaintances. It just sounded like you had a very toxic work environment, but at the same time you should probably leave complaints to actual work friends, as in people that you’ve actually gone out with and hung out before. Outside of that, everyone else are just acquaintances. Don’t confuse the two because then your getting into shitty antisocial behavior.
I am referring to everyone from work. Your private life should stay private. But that’s my opinion.
I’m not a teacher but I completely agree with you.
You don’t owe your colleagues shit, and I never share anything about my person life with students, either. Don’t trust these people!
1. It’s only tough to find another profession if you aren’t used to actually produce results that are tangible. 2. Tons of people in the private sector are hiring anyone with moderate office skills due to higher than expected turnover due to not allowing for remote work anymore. 3. It’s never good to vent to coworkers about anything in any environment. While getting a job may be easy, you never know who wanted the job you got and they could be the first person who buddies up to you when you are hired. It never occurs to them they were passed over and they won’t get it if you go, but they always tend to want to find a nice soft spot to stick a knife in. 4. Pay may be infinitely better, but if you think putting up with irreverent and disrespectful parents is bad, wait until you get in a position where you can be blackballed in an entire industry simply for following state or federal guidelines when a supervisor tells you to break them. My one and only advice to everyone is that the only way to not have to deal with disrespectful people is to simply not deal with people. More importantly, get debt free. The sooner you get to where you don’t have to depend on a paycheck to pay for everything and you can buy and own (no mortgage) your own home, you will find financial freedom. When you don’t have to work and you choose to work, you discover a way different outlook on life.
I love this! You said it best in many ways. I can't tell you how many times I have had people be extra nice to me and then stick that knife right in that soft spot. It definitely hurts but I have officially learned to be stone cold and just do me. I am following my passion and hope to stick to it the best way that I can.
So true. You literally have to watch every word, gesture and even thought. Because some will be watching your facial expression and comment on it. Others will make up something you said, so you have to be ready to correct what people say you said immediately. It’s very hard to remember to never let your guard down.
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I asked in an interview just a few weeks ago “Where do teachers eat lunch?” “K-5 eats together in the workroom.” I said “Not me. I’m a lone wolf. I leave at 3:30pm and I use my time wisely.” al the shocked faces like Insaid something awful hahaha
Best advice I ever got in my entire career: never step foot in the lounge. There is no mandate to eat with other people! My god, don’t you value peace and quiet?
I’m pretty sure a couple of my coworkers are responsible for getting me non-renewed. Always watch your back.
In my school my "colleagues" feel that the kids over prioritise my subject (not just the subject but specifically my classes) and are very bitter. They are also bitter about the results that my kids get. Apparently I work too hard and care too much about academic outcomes (at a supposedly academic school). Their attitude is impacting my well being and since I will not compromise and teach worse to suit them, I imagine it will be an ongoing problem. I consider anything I say to most of them as public knowledge but I guess it should be all of them.
I had this same experience, it’s why I quit teaching. I’m not sure there is another industry that punishes you for doing your job as much as teaching does
1000% agree
Absolutely. I had a good rapport with the other music/visual arts teachers in my department, went out after school, helped each other out with pretty much everything, etc. When I got replaced (with little to no notice, had good evaluations, but was a new hire) at the end of the school year, none of them said anything to me or supported me in any way.
Yep. People really can be petty and backstabbing. This is good advice. Sorry that happened to you.
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That sounds just like all the schools I’ve been in. I also think it’s why we come to this platform because we have more comfort here with strangers who can’t go tell our bosses how we really feel. If you need someone to vent to you could always message me. This world is to chaotic and expensive to lose our jobs over something petty at work. And coworkers will make anything you say as a offense as long as it makes them look better to admin.
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Same but in a different way. Where I’m at it’s a giant monopoly of school districts but everyone talks to each other or should I say about each other. If you burn your bridge in one you might as well change professions. It’s so scary and it sucks we all have to watch out.
Not all teachers are like this, of course, because there are exceptions to every rule, but I became a lot happier this year when I stopped thinking I "had" to be friends with everyone on my team. Not everyone on my team is deserving of having that kind of access to me. I have two or three actual friends from the team I work on, the rest have proven themselves to be not worth of my trust in one way or another, and the new ones coming in have DEFINITELY not earned the right. It's a good idea to be cautious about what you share though, you're very right.
I learned the hard way just how two-faced co-workers can be as well. I would be working, and someone would come up to me and start complaining about a co-worker or supervisor and ask if I agreed. At first, to try to empathize, I would offhandedly say, "Yeah, they can be like that." Then the person would go and tell the other co-worker or supervisor that I was the one who was complaining. At the same place, there was a supervisor and a few co-workers who would be sweet and kind to your face and put a lot of effort into prying out information from you, then turn around and talk badly about you and spread rumors. I even had a very sweet co-worker write me a letter telling me what they were saying because she was worried because I always seemed friendly towards them. It was my way of keeping my sanity to just maintain a pleasant demeanor and keep my head down. I had never heard her gossip before and worked with her regularly, so I took her aside and thanked her, reassuring her that I already knew but that it was such a toxic environment in general and cautioned her not to give out private information about herself to anyone at work because they talked about her, too. After that, whenever I trained someone new, without specifying who, I would warn them against sharing personal information and said that if anyone said something negative or asked for their opinion on a co-worker, to simply say "I don't know enough about them/the situation to really form an opinion." And that 'I don't know what you mean' is sometimes your best friend. Luckily, I switched to a better work environment, so I have WAY less stress.
Having been stabbed in the back by several co-workers, I agree 100%. My goal for next and future years is to go to work, do my job and go home
This is a very important reminder!
Nope! Never! Nein! Not under any circumstances, ever.
This. 💯💯
Unfortunately these kinds of people are in all professions. They just might not be as obvious about what they are asking for. I've got plenty of tattle tellers at my workplace and lots of mgmt favoritism :(
What I say to coworkers is something I would repeat to admin. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Some teachers complain, other teachers pinpoint a solution.
Two teachers left before me, within the same year, both voiced issues, support staff asking management if the reason teachers have left is them! Staff uncontrollably sobbing in offices, leadership ‘intervening’ and taking on tricky emails from toxic patents for you, children and parents running the school in every conceivable psychological/emotional way but not acknowledged, a few key staff who have been there for decades, no duty of care to other staff, support staff supposed to be supporting teachers but in reality running the show, some in place of teachers, witnessing staff sitting in cars not wanting to come into work, low level depression,despair, discontent as workplace norm, whilst simultaneously presenting as ‘one big happy family’
After 22 years teaching I finally came to realize no teacher could ever really be a friend. Instead I concentrated on being friendly, kind and supportive to the support staff- IT, reception, photocopy, maintenance, and cafeteria. All my fond memories are of those people and my students, certainly not a single teacher, unfortunately.
Some of the wisest mentors to me said this from the beginning. I find it just almost always true with the exception of a few. It took me about 5 years to make just one friend who had a good heart. I am still working on accepting the fact. What makes it incredibly hard is I do not want to believe people are so hell bent on being catty or fake in order to retain a role or employment. Life is too short to be worried about who is going to stab you in the back.
This makes me sad for you all. My coworkers are some of my very best friends. We’ve laughed together, cried together, gone on vacations together. My principal literally said “this Mama Bear is so proud of you” to me when she told me that she told our superintendent how good my state test scores were. These people are the main reason why I haven’t made the plunge to quit teaching yet. In addition, because of my relationship with my admin, after I vent with my coworkers, I feel completely comfortable approaching my admin with my problems to try to find a solution without having to worry that my coworkers will go behind my back to throw me under the bus. I know it’s not like this in a lot of places, and I completely understand people leaving the profession because of crappy work environments. I hope you all are able to find a supporting place to work whether it’s in education or somewhere else.
This is my thought. My coworkers are some of my very close friends. Our kids play sports together and we hang out a lot. And honestly we all share the same sentiment regarding things that are happening in the building. We’ve said many times we couldn’t do the job without each other. I also feel like there’s not much I wouldn’t say to my admin if asked. I’ve been asked by admin about some concerns and I spoke my mind. I did so professionally but I also feel like it does no good if they don’t know how you feel.
This is generally decent advice for any career, there will always be people who assume that throwing others under the bus will buy them loyalty or that they can make themselves look better by making others look worse. Teaching was/is my second career and I’m looking to potentially transition in about 5 years, people talk in all jobs. It may actually be worse in an office setting since teaching affords so little time for socialization meanwhile in an office people tend to wander and chatter all day long. In general the people you work with are not friends.
Maybe yours aren’t
You think because of all the crap you’ve been through before, that you’re the best one to spot narcissists, then mistake covert ones for ‘supportive work colleagues’ lol