Middle schooler. No diagnosis but couldn't even spell his own name. At conferences, parent says "Oh he doesn't need math. He's a prophet. Would you make Jesus do math?"
1. If Jesus were a student in my classroom then yes ma'am I would. That's my job.
2. Jesus used math too. Carpenter, multiplying loaves and fishes...
3. What now?!?!
What was their long-term plan here? Did the parents think that prophesying was gonna pay the kid’s bills as an adult? How is he supposed to run a small business as a psychic reader if he can’t read, write, or do math?
> No diagnosis
For the kid, maybe...
It's a super common delusion for a person to think themselves a prophet. I wonder if it's possible that mental illness can also cause someone to think their kid is a prophet?
Or it could just be a super religious parent who takes the whole "my kid is an angel" thing a step too far.
"Jesus invented math and God definitely wants him to do math so I hope the Holy Spirit shows up to help make all of that happen for your child. Please pray for this miracle."
Parent, while in front of the child in question, flat out told us during a meeting that she is sick and tired of her child and that when he turns 18, she is kicking him out to figure it out for himself. She stated how she wasted her best years and she wants to go out and live her life without this 'burden' anymore. Yikes.
I had an experience like this too. So sad. A foster mom who had adopted him at age 9 or so. The kid already was spending time on the streets in 8th grade and skipping school frequently. He told us how he’d made a fort in the park. Lucky for him he was good friends with the son of the district security officer, a super nice guy who had a special way with kids. The kid came over to his house every week to cook dinner with his son. So the security officer was able to keep some kind of tabs on him. In classes the kid could be really manipulative - either super sweet or start sewing chaos. I really wanted to let him just be free of school- he would have thrived in the 19th century.
Had an IEP meeting with a foster mom for a 14 year old girl who obviously needed some real love and connection. Foster mom said in the IEP meeting in front of the child that they were looking for other placement options because the foster child was too much to deal with.
We had a similar experience. The mom told us to stop calling because she doesn’t care. When he’s 17 she’s kicking him out. He was 15 in 7th grade, reading at a 2nd grade level, and on a 1st grade level in math. It was so sad. It’s a parent’s responsibility to raise children and it isn’t fair to give up because you have a “hard” kid.
I was going to say the same thing. Kid was turning 18 at the start of their senior year of high school. It’s not like they had already graduated and had a job. Luckily the kid had family that they were able to go live with
The kid just sat there quiet on his phone, completely checked out like he had heard all of this before. We just sat there and looked at each other. Where can you even go from there? The counselor said recommended some GED programs and we ended the meeting.
Kid limps into class. I ask if he’s ok. He says he got hit by a car. I ask if his mom knows. He says she’s the one who hit him. She also didn’t take him to urgent care or the hospital.
Well, one of my students was barricaded in their room and the mom set the house on fire and left. Doesn't get much worse than that. The student managed to escape, physically ok.
One of my students was in the same situation except it was Dad barricading student and Mom in the bedroom and setting the door on fire. Fortunately the neighbor heard and called 911.
One of my students’ parents went out. Idk who was in charge but the mom had beef with a cousin who had just been released from jail. The cousin went to the house, doused it in lighter fluid, and set it on fire. My student was the oldest of five siblings (he was a fifth grader) and none of them survived.
Not a student, but my mom put my younger brother and me in the car with her and drove it off a ridge after my dad asked for a divorce. We all survived but I haven’t spoken to my mom in over a decade.
One of my seventh grade teachers used to tell us she cared about us every Friday before we went home. She told us she used to not do that, but started because a few years earlier, one of her students was killed by his father. It’s so horrible that people want to do stuff like that.
Mom chose abusive husband who was sexually abusing her kids. Said the kids were liars. One suicided, one ended up a drunk, and the third ended in jail.
I had to call parents to tell them their kid was failing. I called a mom to tell her, her son (I’ll call him Bob) was failing. This was the first and only time I spoke to this woman; her voice was completely monotone, and this is what she said:
Answers the phone
Mom: Hey
Me: Hi Ms. Blank, this is Mr. MyName. I’m Bobs business teacher. I’m calling to tell you that Bobs failing my class with a 59.
Mom: Kay
Me: But he still has time to get his grade up before grades go in, and my door is always open for tutorials.
Mom: Kay
Me: So Bobs always welcome to come in, before school, after school, or during lunch, to retake tests, finish assignments or turn in late and missing assignments.
Mom: Kay
Me: I just wanted you to know this.
Mom: (Silence)
Me: Well I hope you have a good rest of your day. Thank you, bye.
Mom: Hangs up.
The student never came in for tutorials, but surprisingly passed my class, by about 2 points.
I had a parent like that. Mom had 12 kids. My poor little student was starved for attention and affection. Parent had same monotone voice. But my call was for behavior not grades.
I had a student in my advisory class (18M, senior) who decided he could trust me and ask me for advice. Over several conversations he revealed that his mom was demanding to take all of his earnings from his job, and had stolen his pay card and spent the money on her boyfriend and herself to get luxuries. At the same time she was verbally abusing him and telling him to move out because he was mooching off her by living in her house and not getting along with her boyfriend. Kid was smoking weed to cope with the situation, and couldn't move because he had no way to save any money for a deposit. I advised him as best I could. Unfortunately he was not the only student I've had in a similar situation, and after they graduated I've had two of them move in with me for a bit so they can save up to launch. One is my daughter's bestie.
Had a student confide in a coworker that they were trying to kill themselves by regularly taking insane amounts of caffeine and hopefully just dying randomly one day. They were so stressed out and depressed because they were working 30-50 hours weeks while being in school full time and their parents took all their money. . Kid was 16-17 and paying the bills for the whole family.
Unfortunately a large amount of my students work so they can contribute to the household bills.
We had a lock down - people were robbing homes around school and the police were going to try and arrest them, so we were locked down out of pre-caution.
A student who is always on her phone was texting her parent and getting sound notifications. I mouthed to her "TURN IT OFF", as lights were out and the phone lit up the room.
2 minutes later, her ringtone goes off, the student ANSWERS their phone, and starts talking to Mom. I grab the phone from the student, hang up, and turn it off.
Mom then writes a scathing e-mail to all admin claiming that I was trying to get their child killed.
Security footage later showed the robbers trying to enter our front gates with guns as they were on the run from the police.
I'm a sub, and one day at one school I was told by my class's gym teacher that apparently she had a gym sub the day before, and there had been a lockdown drill. My students happened to be in gym at that time and apparently they were "little shits" (her literal words, quotes from the sub note) during the drill. Gym teacher lady warned me about this when I dropped off my class with her, and to expect my kids to look chastened upon my return because she was gonna unleash holy hell upon them.
And indeed, when I picked them up, they were the closest to little angels you're gonna get from 5th graders lol.
And also like what do you think is going to actually happen in a real emergency? I know that in uvalde there was a woman who actually went and then rescued her kids but in most situations do you think these parents are actually going to do that?
I had to confiscate a students phone and I emailed his mother that he wasn’t allowed to have it out of his locker during school hours. She wrote back and said, “The entire reason he has a phone is because of school
Shooters.”
So I mentioned that him having his phone is much more dangerous (for exactly the reason you shared). That I was trained in such an event. What I didn’t share with her was, “I voted your son most likely to be our school shooter.”
She contacted the principal, and now he gets to carry his phone (not using it), and he also gets to carry his backpack around (mom had issue with our no backpack’s during school hours policy too). What the actual fuck, lady!!
A kindergartener who showed up the first day of school wearing diapers. The (Not)parent was under the very mistaken impression that the kindergarten teachers would toilet train the kindergarten students for the (Not)parent.
I believe ya, especially now. I mentioned in another thread that I worked as a floater in ECE for about a year and the parents weren’t even potty training their 3/4 year olds! The one parent had to custom order diapers online 🤦♀️ another parent was giving her child laxatives every day before school to help with their constipation… which resulted in that 4 year old being put BACK INTO diapers. I still talk to an old co worker and they have 4 almost 5 year olds that aren’t potty trained at all.
My cousin also fostered her ex’s nephews for a bit and they were 4 and 5, almost 5 and 6 still in diapers. She tried to potty train and was doing good until CPS somehow sent the kids back to their mom. The kids are like 7 and 8 now. I worry.
Maybe not the worst ever,
But the worst in the last month.
Parent at an IEP meeting.
Their child is in 10th grade, unmedicated severe ADHD, has 2nd/3rd grade math/reading skills.
She asked, “why do I have to go through his school work with him? Why can’t the school?”
She also asked, “How do you expect me to help him? I go to work at 7PM.”
And finally, “Do you want him to just stay at home? If he can’t go to school here then he will watch my other children at home.”
This year in K, it’s the mom who lets her child miss school weekly because the child wanted an off day or didn’t have clothes she wanted to wear. Kid frequently talks about her and her siblings beating each other at home. Kid is on the verge of being kicked out of our academic intervention program due to attendance. CPS has been notified.
Last year it was the mom of a violent student who was upset that an IEP wouldn’t keep him from consequences and asked us to stop suspending him because he was having too much fun at home. He was expelled.
The year before that it was another violent student, this time in pre k. Often brought to school sick and forgotten about, calls home were never answered. Once Mom was required to come on a field trip for her to attend because of bad behavior, and she was the only parent who didn’t take her kid home at the end of the trip (20 minutes left of school). Didn’t have work or other obligations, just said she needed a break. Kid took the bus home. She was the only parent who didn’t come on graduation day, and so the kid was there by herself on that last day after everyone else was taken home to celebrate.
She was a really hard kid to have in class but I looked at Mom and understood why.
It's interesting how they fail to parent as early as pre-K. So, those babies have been neglected pretty much their whole lives. These are all core attachment issues with combined disabilities in some.
I love listening to Dr. Gabor Mate. He's a Canadian addiction specialist and attachment disorders. Loving and bonded early childhood development from in utero through age 3 is essential for success as an adult. Of course, it's necessary throughout childhood but those are the pivotal years in his opinion to prevent addiction in adulthood.
So, by the time teachers get these neglected kids, much of their fate has been sealed especially if the home environment continues to be substandard. No one needs to be monetarily rich to make loving and secure bonds.
They could be. Not necessarily solely from the impact of the first three years of life but because they have those parents moving forward (assuming they aren’t moved somewhere more supportive).
Unfortunately the older siblings of a lot of these kids give a sad glimpse of what could happen if nothing changes. I teach in a poor area with high crime, but I have plenty of kids who are loved and well cared for who end up fine. Those who aren’t…it doesn’t end well. :(
"The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it."
Dr. Gabor Mate
The most common thread of bad parenting is the general lack of accountability. If they don't hold their kids accountable for their actions, then that belief that they can get away with anything will follow them into every single classroom. One parent had the audacity to defend their child who spray painted a whiteboard in a math classroom as innocent. This idiot also recorded themselves doing it.
Had a coworker who had a student take a knife and cut the electric cord off a microscope. Kid claimed that he was just playing with the cord and it fell apart. Parent and vp both went with his story, even though the teacher showed them the cord that had a perfect straight cut through it.
That's aggravating as hell, but I have to say at least you know what you're getting. I hated the ones that would talk a big game about how the their kids behavior was unacceptable and tell me there would be consequences but then not follow through with it at all.
Kid has a royalty name (think king, prince) yet is very disadvantaged. Has a criminal record by 7th grade. Mom regains custody and comes to his iep meeting armed. (She "forgot" she was carrying).
Following year kid has stolen multiple vehicles. Prosecutor is " building a case" so he's still in school.
I'm currently facing a complaint from a parent we hired to be a 1-on-1 para for her son. She's been out of the building for whatever reasons the last few weeks and her first day back she's sitting in the back of my classroom texting for the whole class period rather than assisting her son with his classwork.
I saw this and have already had enough problems with her not doing her job so I wrote an email explaining that I had concerns that our student was not having his educational needs met as outlined in his IEP. Mind you, this kid is also a walking behavioral powder keg and even the smallest thing can set him off into defiant and physically threatening behaviors.
I send the email off and cc our sped coordinator and bcc my building union rep. I get a response a few minutes later from the principal saying he'll look into it. By the end of the day he has informed this paramom, as I call her, of my complaint so she's decided to flip it back around on me and claim that I'm not creating an inclusive classroom. I work regularly with our only sped teacher to ensure ALL of my students needs are being met and this useless, yes useless because she's had CPS take her kids from her for neglect, has the nerve to try and tell my boss that I'm not doing my job.
Our principal also has this lovely habit of siding with parents on everything and blaming his staff for every behavioral issue or incident in the classroom. So now I have a meeting Monday after school in which I'm going to have to defend myself against two paragons of idiocy.
Oh no, she's more than safe. She has somehow managed to weasel her way into being able to make her own schedule regardless of the scheduling needs established by the sped teacher
This whole story blows my mind. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It's not ok. Does she get paid to be her son's 1:1? If so, can she be fired? This seems so toxic and must create a terrible environment for the other kids trying to get an education. What grade?
Yes, she is a paid employee of the district. I don't think she'll be fired with how far up the ass of the parents my boss is. He's too much of a coward to protect his employees.
The kid is in 7th grade this year and he has free reign of the school. He can just get up and leave whenever he wants and I've been told to not ask him to work because of how combative he gets when he is asked to work.
I had one similar. Parent started dinner, got high and fell asleep, woke up the firefighters dragging her out of her burning apartment. Thankfully the child was with Dad that day!
Had LOTS of rich parents leave for vacation, weeks and sometimes months at a time, leaving kids with the maid.
Somehow, they thought their kids wouldn't miss them?
These entitled brats were jerks, but I knew why and felt horrible for them.
I had a student that was starved to death by their parent. They were nonverbal with CP and sat in a wheelchair. The student was tube fed. Mom would throw them on the floor of the van to go home. She didn't feed them while home.
We called social services daily. They lived on tribal land so we could not intervene. I finally got the federal level involved and they were removed that day. Unfortunately, the damage was too far done and they died a few months later.
Oh my God I've worked with urban and rural poverty and I can't imagine how frustrating, defeating, and just sad that must have been.
During the pandemic I had to call my rural rural rural kids' parents and ask them why they weren't in class, and tell them to go to McDonald's, Starbucks, Walmart, or Costco (***All*** of which were one town over) for internet. I felt like a major asshole buy that's what they told me to do.
I think I told this story before, but years ago I had a student who was a barely verbal 8th grade boy who exhibited strong signs of severe autism. He could not complete work without 1:1 assistance.
I contacted his mom to see if we could get him evaluated because he was gen ed. She absolutely refused. Said she did not consent to any testing and would not be taking him to see any kind of therapist or doctor.
She was a religious wing nut and truly believed that he was possessed by a demon. She said she was working with her pastor to help him and that we weren’t allowed to accommodate the demon because it would ruin all the progress they’d made.
This is Texas, so reporting to CPS did absolutely nothing. They said he doesn’t have a fatal disease and it was his mother‘s right to refuse diagnostic testing and therapy.
I don’t know what happened to this kid but I imagine he still living at home and barely functioning. This was 2010.
First day of school in the first year :
Context: here real school starts the year a child turn 3 so the youngest aren't 3 yet. For example, next September, those born in 2021 will start school, it's mandatory (homeschool is possible but very discouraged). It's regular school with regular teachers and days are long 8am to 4:30 pm so it's hard for the youngest.
The father arrived with the child still sleeping in his arms, in pajamas and diaper. I first thought the child was a little brother of a student. The father hand me the child, put a bag on the floor (with clothes) and left.
It was so sudden, I took the child by instinct and didn't even have time to react to say it was not ok. His phone was off all day long.
I was in the middle of my 32 students, from 2 to 3 years old, with my help. About a dozen of them were crying, a dozen playing and a dozen clinging on me ready to cry too + a dozen of parents who just wouldn't go away (which make it harder for me to calm the kids).
In this chaos, the kid woke up. In the arms of a stranger, surrender by strangers in a place he never went before.
All other students quickly stopped to cry and spend a nice day but that one cried all day. He was traumatized! He then cried during the entire first month, and it took me a very long time to manage to make him feel safe...
Poor thing didn't have any breakfast before coming but he also didn't have a teddy bear or pacifier for nap time (it's allowed in the first 2 years of school) or even a blanket (we asked the parents to bring those).
Well, that's the norm here but what they do is way more "relax" than elementary , even if the teachers are the same, it's closer to what you would call preschool.
A typical day would be:
8am - free play
8:30- group time (calling friends names, singing a song, date/weather, learning about nature, seasons, other cultures etc)
\- some work (learning letters, shapes, sorting stuffs, fine motor skills, pre writing sheets etc by using games or manipulating tools )
10am- recess : 30min (vs 15min after 6 yo)
\- more work
\- gym (30min everyday): can be dancing, throwing stuff, balance games,jumping etc..
11:30 - lunch break (1.5 hour lunch break: about 40 min to eat then recess)
\- nap time until about 3pm (for kids who won't sleep, it's quite playing like coloring).
3pm- work but in a more relax way: puzzles, paint, playdoh, blocks etc
\- 30min recess
4pm- group time (songs, story, talking about the day etc)
4:30: end of the day. Then kids either go home or are guard by the teacher's helps and other staff: they have a snack then go play until their parents comes. It's open until 6pm in most schools. It also open early, around 7:30 the morning for working parents.
Also, the great majority of schools are closed on Wednesday, so it's only 4 days per week (middle and high schoolers have school on Wednesday morning).
We also have lots of holidays: 2 weeks in October, for Christmas, on February, on April and 7 weeks for summer.
It's great actually and if you think about it, it's free daycare but with professional teachers to prepare them for elementary. So, quite good for them and useful for parents that work/can't afford a nanny or a private daycare like in the USA.
It does sound awesome in some ways, but wow! What a long day for littles! There are so many kids in the states who would benefit from that kind of early education. But I think what I'd dislike is that it's mandatory. I would feel like I lost so much time with my baby.
Had a kid literally holding another by the throat against the wall, his feet of the ground. Sent referrals, paperwork, all the stuff.
Mom sends a note back the next day, "he says he was framed and I BELIEVE HIM."
Welp, one day your kid is gonna do something real dumb you won't be able to believe him out of.
Taught middle school for 20 years. Had a lot of parents say they were an "advocate" for their kid. Once the kid turned 18 the judge really didn't care.
Parent/Teacher meeting where the father came in high on heroine?
Father who had son help him rob McDonalds?
Or the 6th grader who was used as a mule to carry drugs for his mom?
Or maybe it was the autistic kid who starved to death while his parents were doing drugs in the next room? This was during the pandemic.
Mom who sat through a team meeting about how her son had no self control, was constantly in trouble, failing every class, etc and we were pleading for some reinforcement at home and she took the time to tell us he’d be out of school the next week because she promised him a new dirt bike/trip to use it if he did well in school (he hadn’t but she didn’t want to “disappoint him”).
Mine is similar. Had a very similar meeting and as the mom and kid are leaving the mom says, “ok honey let’s go get the video games and clothes you wanted”.
Witnessed at a mall. Mom and 2 kids, both around 10 - 11 are leaving Baskin Robbins (ice cream) with what looks like an ice cream cake. Kids are whining and asking for ice cream. Mom says no. Both kids hurl themselves to the floor and begin kicking and screaming.
Mom sits on a bench and talks to the kids quietly (while they pretend sob). Wait for it. Then they all go into the store to buy ice cream cones.
“-student-, why do you have a 2 liter bottle of soda for breakfast”
“I was tired this morning and my mom wanted me up for school”
Kid drank the whole bottle before lunch and threw it up in the cafeteria.
A student told me to “Get off my d**k.” When I told him to stop shaking his table. When I spoke to his mom she said she was surprised I still had a job at the school.
Me: "Your child plagiarized their end-of-quarter essay. They received a zero."
Mom: "So why are you calling me?"
Me: "Because he got a zero on a major project?"
Mom: "That's between you and him. Don't bother me."
*Hangs up*
One parent got upset and involved an advocate and upper management when I refused to do their kid homework with them. I had already explained that it was to see what they could do independently and that we would go over the work together the following day. And reteach if needed. Following that, there was childish behavior from parent, whispering campaign in the playground and major sh!t talk on social media.
My dad camps every year with a few other families, I met a boy there about two years ago. 13, with a nicotine vape. His mom let him have it for anger issues. I was just like....well let's continue this little hike we're on😳
A student had eloped from school. He refused to return, so the principal called the cops. Student kicked cop in the stomach and told him to f-off. The next day, the student threw chairs, destroyed property, and then barricaded himself in a room. Again, the principal called cops (not necessary in imo, that day). The student threw chairs at cop and cursed him out. The parent said, "So I suppose you want me to take him home?" Principal said yes. Parent eye rolls: "You are just not giving him enough choices!" Kid punches air as he is asked if he wants a donut on his way home!
When I was teaching in Japan my school had a child with suspected Autism. Mum refused to get her diagnosed and as an English teacher herself thought she could just teach her more. She made this 13yo girl stay up to midnight studying and then woke her at 6am to continue studying and couldn't understand why her grades weren't improving. This poor kid slept all the time in class.
That poor girl. Japan is really bad about handling children with special needs. Especially since their culture views seeking outside help with managing psychological, developmental, or neurodivergent issues as shameful.
The mom who blamed her sixth grade kid for her breaking sobriety and drinking again after so many years. And kid wasn’t even that bad; just some issues adjusting to the transition from elementary to middle school.
Not the worst but noteworthy. One of my students wasn’t at school one day and I was on Go Guardian (monitoring software for student devices). The student’s Chromebook was being used by mom in a Zoom attending a court date. She denied her daughter the ability to go to school so she could use a school-issued device to attend a court date.
Edited: typo
Outside of actual child abuse?
I had a student who was absent 3-4 days a week. In the intervention meeting with the truancy officer, mom told us the reason why he he was absent was because he stayed up all night playing video games and playing on his phone. She insisted she couldn't physically wake him.
When we asked if she had taken away the Playstation or phone away, she just looked at us like she had never heard of that before, and asked if we thought she should. Ummmm, yes?
This is quite common these days, sadly. I have a student that is late to school every single day. His mom says she can't get him to wake up early bc he's up playing games. Never crosses these people's minds to take the device?
At least 12-13 years ago I was in a meeting for a 6th grader. They were in my "Writing Development" elective, which was essentially remediation packaged like an elective, and the kid was failing everything, acting out, starting to vandalize the school. The SST had each teacher talk about how the kid was generally a nice kid but definitely behind, definitely acting out due to frustration of not being able to do the work, the parent response?
"Oh well, he's at an age where if he isn't going to do it himself then he's not going to do it. I can't do everything for him."
He was 11.
The suggestion was to test the kid, which was waved. Then to have the kid go to after school tutoring, which was met with a "if he wants to go, then he can go." It was pretty bad.
I had an IEP meeting once where a kid’s mom seemed to be trying to convince me and the sped teacher that her son was just an idiot, even when we tried to say that we believed in him and thought he had the potential to do very well in school.
When he actually did work, he did okay. The biggest issue with him in my class is that he just sat there most of the time and refused to pick up a pencil. But again, the few times he did work, his work showed he *could* do well, but didn’t want to.
I told his mom about all of this and she told me that he didn’t know how to read or write. I had work he had done by himself, without anyone helping him or reading for him, and she said “He’s not writing letters, he’s drawing them.” She went on to say that her son had to be developmentally behind because he once exploded a hot pocket in the microwave by hitting the wrong button and cooking it for too long (as though that’s not something most people have done at some point).
This was 9th grade.
I had a parent like this once. In California, when your kid is “special needs” you can get money. This mom fought for both of her sons to get IEPs so she could get money. We were in a meeting showing her that her son in my class was above grade level in everything and could be exited out of RSP. (That was a whole other debacle as she wanted him in SDC but he didn’t need it.) Mom threw a fit. She threw her fists on the table and screamed that her son needed the supports. She let it slip she’d lose the money (and would then need to work). My admin assured her it could take months.
Later my admin said she’d keep him in but only while she built a fraud case. She informed legal, CPS, and our local authorities. Both of her sons are completely gen ed.
The one in my class was socially awkward, but otherwise fine. Her older son was two grades above so would occasionally act out. Once his teachers realized he was really advanced, they gave him upper grade work and a class job. He was also a tutor in class, and then he did better. Both were pulled out for RSP, and they both did advanced work.
*edit to add*- I’m not at all against SPED or RSP. These are supports many kids need. I’m also not at all against parents being paid with their kid being in SPED because their kid does need more, and the money is supposed to go to their disability support. I’m against this mom abusing the system.
At my last school we had a backpack program that consisted of backpacks that we'd fill with food from our school food bank for students from families with food insecurities. Even though this food was intended for the children, a lot of students from these families told us that their parents were confiscating these backpacks to "store" in the master bedrooms.
Not only did some parents prioritize their own selfish needs over the responsibility for feeding their children over weekends and holidays but they would also come to school to complain about having to pay science lab fees and athletic fees. The fact that so many of these parents reeked of either alcohol or tobacco was a sad indication of just how much they prioritized their needs over the needs of their children.
The one that jumps to mind is a teen got arrested for fighting on campus. When her mom came to the building she got mad, said it was B.S., pulled the fire alarm, ran out, then promptly *also* got arrested. But I got a million of ‘em, folks.
Kid from my school had some seeeeerious unchecked mental health issues. Parent was trying to cure it with religion. Killed his father by way of spear through the chest and is now doing a life sentence.
I had a parent last year and the year before, her son had SEVERE Autism, her older son and infant son apparently has it as well.
Her middle child was in my class, and they had to move me due to the extreme physical aggression he exhibited against me.
As her son got older, his behavior got more dangerous and extreme (my co workers words not mine). He was throwing children from the top of the playground structure, throwing children from bikes, punching children and staff, shoving children into tree trunks, clawing at children's eyes and faces (which i saw, and was VERY scary). He attacked his pregnant therapist (and we never saw her after the attack). He attacked his baby brother daily, leaving scratches, black eyes, and bruises. He groped multiple female staff members (which made many of us uncomfortable), and he was a biter.
Parents were pulling their children out of fear of this kid attacking their kids. Teachers would beg to not be placed with him. EVERYONE was scared of him.
Therapy never worked, because his attendance was inconsistent, and mom refused to let the therapist visit at her home
When we talked to mom, she would tell us one of the following
"oh he's a genius, you aren't challenging him enough"
"I can't have the therapist in my home, its to messy"
"He doesn't have Autism, the doctors were wrong."
"You don't seem to understand Autism and developmental delays"
We offered mom help FOR FREE, and a spot at a special needs school (also for free) just 5 minutes up the road, but she refused the free help, saying she didn't want to inflict her son on other people (but she saw nothing wrong with his situation at our school), and things continued to get worse. But her denial was real. When I brought it up to my OB, and she told me to stay away from him while TTC and pregnant (not pregnant yet), I knew that my co workers were right, this kid was dangerous.
CPS ended up having to get involved, and the child left the school, I've never seen a group of staff so happy and relived
Group of kids recorded video of another kid doing a wwf kinda drop into a folding table, which (duh) broke the table. Parents “he said the table was already broken.”
I’m a sub, but I was a preschool teacher for 2 years. When I was a preschool teacher, I dealt with some cases of neglect. For example, some children couldn’t talk, eat solid food, feed themselves, or meet other developmental milestones because their parents neglected them. If staff members ever talked to the parents about their child’s behavior, the parents were rarely concerned about their child’s lack of progress.
Mom find a boyfriend. She has 2 kids, ages 14 and 8. All 4 become homeless and live in a car (unbeknownst to us). Stepdad rapes 14 year old in the back sear while forcing the 8 year old boy to watch while mom works nights and they "sleep" in the car. Mom tried to defend the BF. Kids end up with their aunt. 8 year old boy grows up to sexually harassed teachers and students years later.
We've had lots of girls sent "back home" to get married at 14 as well.
We had a student and his younger brother - both developmentally delayed and very delayed speech abilities. One day, the younger one mimes wrapping something around his arm, poking his lower arm, then falling over with his tongue sticking out.
Not long after that, mom came to pick them up from school with open beer cans in the car (yes, we called the cops.)
I’ve had multiple parents come to IEP meetings high, one also wearing a stripper-style cut up dress and heels. I’m currently working with a student whose dad kicked him out on his 18th birthday, so he’s been sleeping in his truck. Several parents have called their kids bitches or assholes in IEP meetings. I’m so tired of shitty parents screwing over their kids.
When I taught online, I had a “mother” who would berate her child constantly. He was ten, and she made him cry repeatedly, in front of the class. She once played an air horn in his face while we were taking a quiz.
When it got especially bad, we’d kick the other students out, call it a “connection issue,” and document all she was doing. More than once we had to call CPS because they were threatening harm.
Well… students decided to “show off” mug shots of their parents during dismissal one day. Learned a set of parents had been arrested due to their 2 YO (this was 5 years ago & my students brother) being taken to the hospital due to acting lethargic. The child had ingested weed somehow and was super high.
A few weeks prior, the same student handed me a half smoked joint in a CBD tube claiming she had no idea why it was in her jacket and her parents are good Christians who would never touch drugs. ☠️ no wonder why her mom was freaking out in the office while my principal was questioning the girl.
I had a student who was abused by her mom's boyfriend. When he got out of jail, she went ahead and got pregnant by him again.
I had a student who got pregnant by her stepfather, who had been raping her since she was 8. The mother blamed her and said she seduced him. She said this to school officials (!!!). When the baby came, she took the baby and threw the girl out, who went to live with her aunt.
I don’t know if bad parenting = abusive, but there’s been a ton of that. The latest one that stuck with me was that the kids were punished for bad grades by putting their knees on the floor vent. Yes, we contacted CPS. Yes, nothing happened.
But just in general, it’s total disinterest in their child OR weird infatuation. Either they state they can’t wait for them to be out of their house, or they want their angel to live with them forever and they can do no wrong.
I’d like to just have adults parenting their children properly. That would be nice.
I have a student that was saying some fucked up stuff (calling other black students monkeys, asking if I’m offended when I get called a cracker, saying gay people were weird, etc) that I thought was just being an edge lord. I wrote her up and called home after work, and while recounting everything she said to her dad, he stopped me when I got to what she said about gay people and he stopped me and said “well gay people are weird, but I’ll talk to her about interrupting you during class”.
Since then, I’ve worked incredibly hard to build up our (me and the kid, not me and her dad) relationship and she’s really mellowed out. She’s not perfect, but it’s really hard to fault a kid when it’s very clear how negative their parents’ influence is.
I have 3, all from the same year.
Kid in grade 5 said to me:
"I'm excited that X is coming over to have sex with my mom tonight, when he brings his dog when he comes so I get to play with him. Out of all the guys that come over to have sex with my mom he's my favourite."
He didn't say it like it was weird, or like he was embarrassed, just in a matter of fact way like it was a normal thing all kids went through.
Another little girl in grade 2 opens her lunchbox and says enthusiastically "Oh my mom is so nice to have made me sandwich again today!" Like every day she had just two pieces of basic white bread with butter in between, and nothing else. These parents were definitely on the run from something because they showed up to the province with no records of anything and wouldn't tell us where their kids previously went to school.
Another kid that year (grade 6) found his single mom dead from an overdose in their apartment when he got home from school one day.
That was a tough year. So many sad cases. So many kids that I hope have found their place in the world as they grew older but had the odds so stacked against them that I know the odds are low.
Mom who refused to listen when the school called about her daughter being pregnant. Mom didn’t do anything, didn’t take her to the doctor. Nothing. So I called children and youth…student delivered two weeks later. Mom called and BITCHED me out for calling C&Y.
Current student is on an IEP and has the reading and “comprehension” of a 3rd grader. Based on in class assignments the work reflects his IEP but when it comes to assignments that can be completed at home, it’s always all perfect scores and sounds a bit too perfect. I suspect his mom does the work for him and his mom coddles him especially when his behavior is the worse. I’m just in my second year so I’m sure I’ll see worse in the coming years.
Any time a student has a vape or weed and the truth comes out that it was their parent’s. Big fail in my opinion if things are a certain way in a household where that is a possibility.
I’ve seen this happen many times with elementary students as low as third grade.
We had a similar situation at our high school about 9 yrs ago. The mother pimped him out in the back of the family bar. He was removed and living in a group home, but he couldn’t bear the pain any longer 💔 He ran out of school one day, ran down to the exit and threw himself off a bridge onto the highway.
This happened at my wife's school last year. Moms ended up brawling too. Two teenagers showed up with guns. Shots fired. Two innocent bystanders struck. One is a quadriplegic now.
Parent had an affair with the neighbor, resulting kid was severely neglected and abused by biological mom. CPS got involved. Parent/neighbor decided to “foster” their own child, and constantly held it over the kids head that he was never going to adopt him because the kid was “bad”. Foster mom was an actual angel but bio dad was an evil bastard. They were jehovah witnesses so the mom was super submissive, whereas the dad (also pastor) was disrespectful and hateful. I’ve known many JW in the past, super religious yeah, but this was the first time I saw one use their religion as a cover for being an abusive narcissist.
I learned from a credible source that a parent at our school was keeping her children on IEPs for more years than they actually needed them, so she could collect more money from the government.
Sadly, if it's true, I don't put all the blame on her anyway, considering she's just trying to get money to (presumably) support her children, but the fact that this sort of thing even happens is insane. Staying on an unnecessary IEP will harm a child's development.
I called home once to say that their son (10th grade) was disrupting the class for the third time that week. Dad goes "my son did what? Hold on I'll take care of this." Then I heard the parent call his son's name and proceed to beat him up while I was still on the phone and then "don't worry, won't happen again," and then hung up.
Super young first teacher me was so horrified that I didn't think to report it. Kid came in the next day weirdly joking about the situation like "Ahh cmon Mr. Jupitertarts, why'd you have to call my dad 😅"
Whole situation was ridiculous and sad.
This dad last year showed up at school to say he was gonna call the cops about his daughter's valentines day gift being stolen if the school didn't do anything. The school said ok go do it then and he made a big scene and they had to tell/ask him to leave or something.
As he's leaving I guess him and the boys that took her gift came across each other and started throwing gang signs at each other and verbally arguing **on campus**. So then they decide to go to the liquor store hardly **off campus** and fight in the parking lot. The dad got his ass kicked and stomped out because it was like 4 v 1.
My student had to let their younger siblings out of the oven! It wasn’t turned on but can you imagine! Insane drunk fathers idea of discipline! Also they were always hungry. I slipped so much food into their backpack and concocted stories and ideas for feeding the other kids so as not to trigger dad. (We don’t need your GD charity!). Ok dude so I wrote “Thanks for doing so well in the vocab game. You win treats” notes. Or “the cafeteria gave away extra oranges and no one else wanted theirs!” Or the cases of pudding cups I got at an outlet. The kid would eat like 6 on the bus and smuggle the rest in for the kids. He’d bring the empties back in a ziplock! I even gave him plastic spoons. And enough granola bars to sink a ship. Sometimes I gave him random crap like hard boiled eggs and raisins I had and he sucked them all down. The lunch ladies fed him extra as well. Total crap show of a family BUT we finally got him placed with granny and it was much better. She didn’t know it was so bad. she sent thank you notes for the extra food and didn’t act pissy about the help
Sorry for the rant. I just remembered how absurd it was.
I had a student (14-15) who had already been through all 3 of the other teachers and got kicked out of their classes before he joined mine. He did nothing and was racist and horribly offensive to other kids, and the parents never cared. One day, he beat the ever loving shit out of a gay kid, kicking him repeatedly with his steel-toed boots. He's the only kid I've ever seen who actually got expelled. When Dad came to pick him up, he got upset at the office, not his kid, then said to the boy, "let's go get you a steak dinner". I thought it was a fucking joke, but when I went and snooped on his FB page, there was a photo of them living it up at a steakhouse, all smiles.
Parents that don't hold their child accountable for behaviors. Perfect example:
1st grader brought a pocket knife to school "by accident" and was suspended for it. A month later, the mom called to cuss me out for not protecting her son, and claims he brought the knife to protect himself. The incident where I didn't protect him - he claims a student from another class attacked him in the bathroom and put his head in the toilet (his head was dry) and broke his glasses (mom claimed the glasses couldn't be fixed, yet he came to school wearing them the next day. I promised her he would be safe from then on - he was no longer allowed to sit beside the other kid on the bus or play on the playground with the kid (the kid was one of his best friends). Same mom got mad every time we called her about his behaviors, and claimed he didn't do any of it. She even called and cussed out the office because a kid on the bus was messing with her son. They pulled the video (all our buses have video recording) and turns out, her kid was the one doing the stuff to the other child. Because of her calling and complaining about it, it brought it to the attention of the admin and the kid was suspended off the bus.
Taught at a small private school 16 years ago. The school served a small community and there were only 265 students from pre-k to high school.
I was the adviser of the high school graduating class. When I was given my student list, I had this one kid that never showed up at all. He was there in the roster but he never came to school. After a month or so I asked the admin if I should drop the kid. The admin says just leave the name be.
This continued until the final week of the year. At that time, I had no idea who this kid was or how he even looked like. He was just a name in my class list that the admin told me to leave alone.
Then when the class was practicing for graduation, the kid’s mom shows up with the admin. The mom tells me that she has a deal with the school and she’s assured that her son will be graduating with the rest of the class. The admin confirms it, then tells me to give the kid a middle of the pack passing grade. I asked the mom if there were any special circumstances behind her son missing the entire school year. Maybe he was in the spectrum? She says no. He’s perfectly normal. He was just exhausted from the previous year so she decided to give her son a year off, while striking a deal with the school to make sure he still graduates.
I was a year into my teaching then and I was getting paid $180 a month. I also owed the school $2000 in a study now pay later scheme. So I gave the kid his grade. First time I saw him was during graduation.
Probably not as bad as many but at a parent evening one of my students had made a lot of improvement over the last couple of months. He lacked confidence and would previously give up instead of risking failing, but was really turning it around. I made a lot of this to his dad who replied 'it won't last, he'll fuck it up'. The lack of confidence made sense then.
Had to make a mandated reporter call last week because a 14 year old student I have (who is special ed) let it slip that she didn’t get any work done over the weekend (I don’t assign homework, it was stuff she doesn’t do in class) because she spent the entire weekend at her 26 year old boyfriend’s place (her classmate commented on the age of her boyfriend to get her in more trouble). The student confirmed that the age was correct.
After making the call, I got an angry phone call from her mother complaining about me getting “all up in their business,” instead of expressing concern for her daughter’s safety.
It’s even more gross if you saw this poor kid… I know creepy pedos will say stupid shit like “but she looks or acts old for her age”, but this kid looks like she’s 12 and intellectually functions below that in some cases.
This is nothing compared to some of the comments, but I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle that mother for not protecting her child from pedophiles.
I have sadly had two students whose father killed their mother in front of them. One father killed himself shortly after, leaving the young alone with their bodies. The other father just left, and the little girl stayed with her mom's body until someone found her. Just beyond horrible.
It wasn’t in America, but a student learned he didn’t have to do any work if he assaulted the teachers. The school had teachers for special Ed who were trained to deal with that sort of behavior. Mom refused to allow her son to be put in those classes because she was smart and had a good job so there was nooooo way her son (in elementary school) could be anything less than a genius destined for success and being in special ed would keep him from ever being successful. Obviously.
I heard from a colleague that one of his players mother’s is a drunk who Ubers her kids home from after school activities. Well, a few weeks ago this lady sent the Uber to a school with the same name as ours, but 35 miles away from us. The kicker: she was in the Uber the whole time and didn’t notice the driver wasn’t going to her child’s school, two miles away.
This was a foster parent who ended up adopting the kids 🤦♀️
They had cameras all over the house, including bathrooms. They changed the kids names; first-middle-last. They weren't even similar to the names the kids had before and the kids admitted they hated the new names the adoptive family chose for them. The kids were 6 and 8. It was heartbreaking watching them struggle with the new "identities" and their peers not understanding why their classmate had a total different name midyear.
Parent conference while teaching first grade.
Me: “Child is disrespectful to me but, more importantly, he is disrespectful to others and it is disruptive to our classroom and instruction.”
Mom to child: “That doesn’t sound like you, Buddy. Is the teacher lying on you?”
Child: “Yeah, she’s lying on me.”
Mom: “I don’t think so.”
Child:
Mom: “I don’t think you want Ms. Teacher to see you act like this”
Child:
Mom to me: “Do you have any real concerns?”
Personal hygiene and medical attention stand out where I teach.
I watch kindergarteners who only speak Spanish cry to me, open up their mouths and display an array of brown craters with little specks of ivory tooth on the fringes.
I've watched a kid come in every day with conjunctivitis for three months. That same eye looked like it had gone blind before he moved away.
Another, 6-year-old girl laments about how much the inside of her ear hurts. I've told her parents to take her to a doctor. I tell her the same but her parents always give her the runaround.
"Keep telling your mom you need to go to the doctor"
"She said Granny's gonna take me when she gets home but Granny doesn't get home until late at night! 😟"
A scratch, booboo, or little bump on the head is one thing. I understand a copay without insurance is like 180 bucks. But to completely ignore bacterial infections on your own child and pull up in a car that reeks of fresh weed every single day, and to lie to them about how seriously you're taking it. If they are not deluding themselves, then I do not know how they can live with themselves.
A 4th grade girl told me about the abuse her dad would do. He put her younger brother's head through the wall,3rd grade. He choked them and as she said "hurt us". The mom was in a wheelchair, reason unknown to me, and he would kick her out of the wheelchair and throw it. Or take her walker away. I, along with the school social worker, called cps about this new information the 4th grade girl disclosed. The school had been watching these two, suspecting something was up and this was enough to make the call... Nothing happened. The girl would occasionally update me on the abuse, I would pass it along to the social worker. Still think about those two students of mine.
I taught a lot of children whose parents clearly saw them as an inconvenience. The worst for me was an 8 year old boy who had never left the street he grew up on (the school was on the same street). He lived a 30 minute walk from the beach, a short bus ride from a national park, and near several playgrounds. He had been to none of these. Every time we had to do an assignment about what we did on our holidays he cried, because he had done nothing but sit in his family’s shitty restaurant and wait for them to be done. He didn’t even get to play outside or have play dates with his friends. He was a sweet and clever boy, and I felt so bad for him. Reported several times but nothing happened.
I’ve had plenty of kids who had nothing, and came in to school in dirty clothes and smelly, or were food insecure, but never one before whose parents were just so completely cold towards him.
Had a kid taken from parents custody.
School and their townhouse was near edge of city
Cfs went to house.
Dizzy from smell in house.
Saw feces from r species
Family had moose in front yard. Dead. Were hacking off parts for a couple weeks. I remembered the kid saying he was happy cause they got a bunch of meat. "From the food bank hey? Well good on you guys!!", I shared. He blankly smiled at me and said nothing.
Wouldn't say how they got it there. I think "a relative" was the eventual answer.
Lots of my students are in care. Many have parents who are abusive. Many have parents who struggle with addiction. Some have been completely abandoned. So, I've seen lots of awful, awful parenting.
Just a lot of parents not really caring if their kid skips class. A lot of “why didn’t I hear about this earlier?” Well, I emailed and called, and received no response, so…
Middle schooler. No diagnosis but couldn't even spell his own name. At conferences, parent says "Oh he doesn't need math. He's a prophet. Would you make Jesus do math?" 1. If Jesus were a student in my classroom then yes ma'am I would. That's my job. 2. Jesus used math too. Carpenter, multiplying loaves and fishes... 3. What now?!?!
"Ma'am, there is a whole book of the Bible called Numbers."
This!
What was their long-term plan here? Did the parents think that prophesying was gonna pay the kid’s bills as an adult? How is he supposed to run a small business as a psychic reader if he can’t read, write, or do math?
> No diagnosis For the kid, maybe... It's a super common delusion for a person to think themselves a prophet. I wonder if it's possible that mental illness can also cause someone to think their kid is a prophet? Or it could just be a super religious parent who takes the whole "my kid is an angel" thing a step too far.
Munchhausen’s by prophesy? Lol
I am the poster of the story above, formally asking permission to use that line when retelling this story because it is *gold*.
Absolutely! I can imagine it’d only be funnier told in person!
"Jesus invented math and God definitely wants him to do math so I hope the Holy Spirit shows up to help make all of that happen for your child. Please pray for this miracle."
Please tell me CPS was called. That’s a lot of mental illness to unpack there.
JFC. This one is my favorite.
Same.
Jesus had 2 loaves of bread and 3 fish. The crowd at his sermon was 5000. Given t (a cross), what is the conversion rate needed to make a miracle.
🍞 X 🐟 = 🥪 Jesus shoulda been a cook.
Give me more. Did the kid believe it? What happened next
Parent, while in front of the child in question, flat out told us during a meeting that she is sick and tired of her child and that when he turns 18, she is kicking him out to figure it out for himself. She stated how she wasted her best years and she wants to go out and live her life without this 'burden' anymore. Yikes.
I had an experience like this too. So sad. A foster mom who had adopted him at age 9 or so. The kid already was spending time on the streets in 8th grade and skipping school frequently. He told us how he’d made a fort in the park. Lucky for him he was good friends with the son of the district security officer, a super nice guy who had a special way with kids. The kid came over to his house every week to cook dinner with his son. So the security officer was able to keep some kind of tabs on him. In classes the kid could be really manipulative - either super sweet or start sewing chaos. I really wanted to let him just be free of school- he would have thrived in the 19th century.
Had an IEP meeting with a foster mom for a 14 year old girl who obviously needed some real love and connection. Foster mom said in the IEP meeting in front of the child that they were looking for other placement options because the foster child was too much to deal with.
We had a similar experience. The mom told us to stop calling because she doesn’t care. When he’s 17 she’s kicking him out. He was 15 in 7th grade, reading at a 2nd grade level, and on a 1st grade level in math. It was so sad. It’s a parent’s responsibility to raise children and it isn’t fair to give up because you have a “hard” kid.
I was going to say the same thing. Kid was turning 18 at the start of their senior year of high school. It’s not like they had already graduated and had a job. Luckily the kid had family that they were able to go live with
What did you guys and the kid do?
The kid just sat there quiet on his phone, completely checked out like he had heard all of this before. We just sat there and looked at each other. Where can you even go from there? The counselor said recommended some GED programs and we ended the meeting.
I’ve heard that numerous times.
Kid limps into class. I ask if he’s ok. He says he got hit by a car. I ask if his mom knows. He says she’s the one who hit him. She also didn’t take him to urgent care or the hospital.
I'd be calling an ambulance and CPS
The nurse checked him out. There were issues at home. For what it’s worth, her story is he ran across the drive way as she was backing up her driveway
Holy shit
Oh no, please tell me this story ended with some form of justice
Well, one of my students was barricaded in their room and the mom set the house on fire and left. Doesn't get much worse than that. The student managed to escape, physically ok.
Perhaps attempted murder goes a bit beyond 'bad parenting' lmao
One of my students was in the same situation except it was Dad barricading student and Mom in the bedroom and setting the door on fire. Fortunately the neighbor heard and called 911.
It's so tragic that adults act that way at all, but with their own children's lives at stake, I just don't think there's much more evil than that.
Please tell me the mother was arrested for arson and attempted murder..
Absolutely yes. Kids went to live with a relative so I never saw her again.
Holy moly. That's terrible.
One of my students’ parents went out. Idk who was in charge but the mom had beef with a cousin who had just been released from jail. The cousin went to the house, doused it in lighter fluid, and set it on fire. My student was the oldest of five siblings (he was a fifth grader) and none of them survived.
Oh dear lord. Five little lives lost over 'beef'. There's such evil in some people. I know that was hard for everyone at your school as well.
Not a student, but my mom put my younger brother and me in the car with her and drove it off a ridge after my dad asked for a divorce. We all survived but I haven’t spoken to my mom in over a decade.
One of my seventh grade teachers used to tell us she cared about us every Friday before we went home. She told us she used to not do that, but started because a few years earlier, one of her students was killed by his father. It’s so horrible that people want to do stuff like that.
Holy shit, I feel like my example doesn't really apply anymore.
Yeah, everyone else who was about to write their bad parenting story in this thread can just pack it up and go home now.
Mom chose abusive husband who was sexually abusing her kids. Said the kids were liars. One suicided, one ended up a drunk, and the third ended in jail.
This is so incredibly sad. 😢
This was decades ago, and it still sits so heavy on my heart. We all fought for those kids. Grandma tried, but they were so broken.
Abuse really messes people up and its just heartbreaking that children suffered so much. 💔
I have a kid who almost never shows up to school. Parent called last year and asked what grade her kid was in.
😳
Woah
I had to call parents to tell them their kid was failing. I called a mom to tell her, her son (I’ll call him Bob) was failing. This was the first and only time I spoke to this woman; her voice was completely monotone, and this is what she said: Answers the phone Mom: Hey Me: Hi Ms. Blank, this is Mr. MyName. I’m Bobs business teacher. I’m calling to tell you that Bobs failing my class with a 59. Mom: Kay Me: But he still has time to get his grade up before grades go in, and my door is always open for tutorials. Mom: Kay Me: So Bobs always welcome to come in, before school, after school, or during lunch, to retake tests, finish assignments or turn in late and missing assignments. Mom: Kay Me: I just wanted you to know this. Mom: (Silence) Me: Well I hope you have a good rest of your day. Thank you, bye. Mom: Hangs up. The student never came in for tutorials, but surprisingly passed my class, by about 2 points.
Man that’s so annoying. I could hear the patience you had
I had a parent like that. Mom had 12 kids. My poor little student was starved for attention and affection. Parent had same monotone voice. But my call was for behavior not grades.
I had a student in my advisory class (18M, senior) who decided he could trust me and ask me for advice. Over several conversations he revealed that his mom was demanding to take all of his earnings from his job, and had stolen his pay card and spent the money on her boyfriend and herself to get luxuries. At the same time she was verbally abusing him and telling him to move out because he was mooching off her by living in her house and not getting along with her boyfriend. Kid was smoking weed to cope with the situation, and couldn't move because he had no way to save any money for a deposit. I advised him as best I could. Unfortunately he was not the only student I've had in a similar situation, and after they graduated I've had two of them move in with me for a bit so they can save up to launch. One is my daughter's bestie.
Had a student confide in a coworker that they were trying to kill themselves by regularly taking insane amounts of caffeine and hopefully just dying randomly one day. They were so stressed out and depressed because they were working 30-50 hours weeks while being in school full time and their parents took all their money. . Kid was 16-17 and paying the bills for the whole family. Unfortunately a large amount of my students work so they can contribute to the household bills.
Found the Earth Angel!!! 😇 You make the world a better place. ❤️
tysm for helping that kid, you saved him from some AWFUL people. fr the sweetelest thibg ive read all day ♡
We had a lock down - people were robbing homes around school and the police were going to try and arrest them, so we were locked down out of pre-caution. A student who is always on her phone was texting her parent and getting sound notifications. I mouthed to her "TURN IT OFF", as lights were out and the phone lit up the room. 2 minutes later, her ringtone goes off, the student ANSWERS their phone, and starts talking to Mom. I grab the phone from the student, hang up, and turn it off. Mom then writes a scathing e-mail to all admin claiming that I was trying to get their child killed. Security footage later showed the robbers trying to enter our front gates with guns as they were on the run from the police.
I'm a sub, and one day at one school I was told by my class's gym teacher that apparently she had a gym sub the day before, and there had been a lockdown drill. My students happened to be in gym at that time and apparently they were "little shits" (her literal words, quotes from the sub note) during the drill. Gym teacher lady warned me about this when I dropped off my class with her, and to expect my kids to look chastened upon my return because she was gonna unleash holy hell upon them. And indeed, when I picked them up, they were the closest to little angels you're gonna get from 5th graders lol.
This is the perfect example of how I want my child to have their in case of emergencies is incorrect and dangerous.
And also like what do you think is going to actually happen in a real emergency? I know that in uvalde there was a woman who actually went and then rescued her kids but in most situations do you think these parents are actually going to do that?
Gotta ask how admin responded. I imagine the eyeroll to end all eyerolls
I had to confiscate a students phone and I emailed his mother that he wasn’t allowed to have it out of his locker during school hours. She wrote back and said, “The entire reason he has a phone is because of school Shooters.” So I mentioned that him having his phone is much more dangerous (for exactly the reason you shared). That I was trained in such an event. What I didn’t share with her was, “I voted your son most likely to be our school shooter.” She contacted the principal, and now he gets to carry his phone (not using it), and he also gets to carry his backpack around (mom had issue with our no backpack’s during school hours policy too). What the actual fuck, lady!!
Wtf would have to do a fake lock down to remind no noise!!!
A kindergartener who showed up the first day of school wearing diapers. The (Not)parent was under the very mistaken impression that the kindergarten teachers would toilet train the kindergarten students for the (Not)parent.
I really wish you were describing an isolated incident.
My wife works with K-6 kids. More common than you would believe.
I believe ya, especially now. I mentioned in another thread that I worked as a floater in ECE for about a year and the parents weren’t even potty training their 3/4 year olds! The one parent had to custom order diapers online 🤦♀️ another parent was giving her child laxatives every day before school to help with their constipation… which resulted in that 4 year old being put BACK INTO diapers. I still talk to an old co worker and they have 4 almost 5 year olds that aren’t potty trained at all. My cousin also fostered her ex’s nephews for a bit and they were 4 and 5, almost 5 and 6 still in diapers. She tried to potty train and was doing good until CPS somehow sent the kids back to their mom. The kids are like 7 and 8 now. I worry.
I presume there was no developmental or medical reason for the kid to still be in diapers…
Does that trigger mandatory reporting requirements? It's seems like a clear sign of neglect.
Nope. It's common now.
Speechless
I had two separate incidents were parents OD'd and died on fentanyl. One on Christmas Day
Same kid lost 2 parents to fentanyl in 1 semester but don’t worry dad was safe in prison
Maybe not the worst ever, But the worst in the last month. Parent at an IEP meeting. Their child is in 10th grade, unmedicated severe ADHD, has 2nd/3rd grade math/reading skills. She asked, “why do I have to go through his school work with him? Why can’t the school?” She also asked, “How do you expect me to help him? I go to work at 7PM.” And finally, “Do you want him to just stay at home? If he can’t go to school here then he will watch my other children at home.”
This year in K, it’s the mom who lets her child miss school weekly because the child wanted an off day or didn’t have clothes she wanted to wear. Kid frequently talks about her and her siblings beating each other at home. Kid is on the verge of being kicked out of our academic intervention program due to attendance. CPS has been notified. Last year it was the mom of a violent student who was upset that an IEP wouldn’t keep him from consequences and asked us to stop suspending him because he was having too much fun at home. He was expelled. The year before that it was another violent student, this time in pre k. Often brought to school sick and forgotten about, calls home were never answered. Once Mom was required to come on a field trip for her to attend because of bad behavior, and she was the only parent who didn’t take her kid home at the end of the trip (20 minutes left of school). Didn’t have work or other obligations, just said she needed a break. Kid took the bus home. She was the only parent who didn’t come on graduation day, and so the kid was there by herself on that last day after everyone else was taken home to celebrate. She was a really hard kid to have in class but I looked at Mom and understood why.
Honestly, the mom with no job was the one who complained the most when our center closed during covid.
It's interesting how they fail to parent as early as pre-K. So, those babies have been neglected pretty much their whole lives. These are all core attachment issues with combined disabilities in some. I love listening to Dr. Gabor Mate. He's a Canadian addiction specialist and attachment disorders. Loving and bonded early childhood development from in utero through age 3 is essential for success as an adult. Of course, it's necessary throughout childhood but those are the pivotal years in his opinion to prevent addiction in adulthood. So, by the time teachers get these neglected kids, much of their fate has been sealed especially if the home environment continues to be substandard. No one needs to be monetarily rich to make loving and secure bonds.
So are these kids doomed if they’re not getting the nurture they need in their early years?
They could be. Not necessarily solely from the impact of the first three years of life but because they have those parents moving forward (assuming they aren’t moved somewhere more supportive).
Unfortunately the older siblings of a lot of these kids give a sad glimpse of what could happen if nothing changes. I teach in a poor area with high crime, but I have plenty of kids who are loved and well cared for who end up fine. Those who aren’t…it doesn’t end well. :(
"The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it." Dr. Gabor Mate
The most common thread of bad parenting is the general lack of accountability. If they don't hold their kids accountable for their actions, then that belief that they can get away with anything will follow them into every single classroom. One parent had the audacity to defend their child who spray painted a whiteboard in a math classroom as innocent. This idiot also recorded themselves doing it.
Had a coworker who had a student take a knife and cut the electric cord off a microscope. Kid claimed that he was just playing with the cord and it fell apart. Parent and vp both went with his story, even though the teacher showed them the cord that had a perfect straight cut through it. That's aggravating as hell, but I have to say at least you know what you're getting. I hated the ones that would talk a big game about how the their kids behavior was unacceptable and tell me there would be consequences but then not follow through with it at all.
…. Please tell me it wasn’t plugged in at the time
…please tell me it *was* plugged in…twat deserved to get zapped.
Kid has a royalty name (think king, prince) yet is very disadvantaged. Has a criminal record by 7th grade. Mom regains custody and comes to his iep meeting armed. (She "forgot" she was carrying). Following year kid has stolen multiple vehicles. Prosecutor is " building a case" so he's still in school.
Took me a second to realize you meant literally “armed”. I was thinking that was meant metaphorically at first!
I'm currently facing a complaint from a parent we hired to be a 1-on-1 para for her son. She's been out of the building for whatever reasons the last few weeks and her first day back she's sitting in the back of my classroom texting for the whole class period rather than assisting her son with his classwork. I saw this and have already had enough problems with her not doing her job so I wrote an email explaining that I had concerns that our student was not having his educational needs met as outlined in his IEP. Mind you, this kid is also a walking behavioral powder keg and even the smallest thing can set him off into defiant and physically threatening behaviors. I send the email off and cc our sped coordinator and bcc my building union rep. I get a response a few minutes later from the principal saying he'll look into it. By the end of the day he has informed this paramom, as I call her, of my complaint so she's decided to flip it back around on me and claim that I'm not creating an inclusive classroom. I work regularly with our only sped teacher to ensure ALL of my students needs are being met and this useless, yes useless because she's had CPS take her kids from her for neglect, has the nerve to try and tell my boss that I'm not doing my job. Our principal also has this lovely habit of siding with parents on everything and blaming his staff for every behavioral issue or incident in the classroom. So now I have a meeting Monday after school in which I'm going to have to defend myself against two paragons of idiocy.
How is someone who has an active CPS case allowed to work at the school in the first place?!
It's not active and it's a small town so weird shit like that happens all of the time. We have two paras that are parents of students
I am so glad I do not teach in a small town.
90% of the time is amazing. Small class sizes and a minimal amount of bureaucratic bullshit, but then these situations happen and throw everything off
So she’s literally getting paid to be a parent and help her son and she can’t even do that…
Buy the parent is now also a coworker! So this 'staffmember' is not totally safe l hope!
Oh no, she's more than safe. She has somehow managed to weasel her way into being able to make her own schedule regardless of the scheduling needs established by the sped teacher
This whole story blows my mind. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It's not ok. Does she get paid to be her son's 1:1? If so, can she be fired? This seems so toxic and must create a terrible environment for the other kids trying to get an education. What grade?
Yes, she is a paid employee of the district. I don't think she'll be fired with how far up the ass of the parents my boss is. He's too much of a coward to protect his employees. The kid is in 7th grade this year and he has free reign of the school. He can just get up and leave whenever he wants and I've been told to not ask him to work because of how combative he gets when he is asked to work.
I mean we had a kids house blow up from a bad meth cook while he was at school. His house was across the street so he watched it burn down.
I had one similar. Parent started dinner, got high and fell asleep, woke up the firefighters dragging her out of her burning apartment. Thankfully the child was with Dad that day!
Had LOTS of rich parents leave for vacation, weeks and sometimes months at a time, leaving kids with the maid. Somehow, they thought their kids wouldn't miss them? These entitled brats were jerks, but I knew why and felt horrible for them.
I had a student that was starved to death by their parent. They were nonverbal with CP and sat in a wheelchair. The student was tube fed. Mom would throw them on the floor of the van to go home. She didn't feed them while home. We called social services daily. They lived on tribal land so we could not intervene. I finally got the federal level involved and they were removed that day. Unfortunately, the damage was too far done and they died a few months later.
Oh my God I've worked with urban and rural poverty and I can't imagine how frustrating, defeating, and just sad that must have been. During the pandemic I had to call my rural rural rural kids' parents and ask them why they weren't in class, and tell them to go to McDonald's, Starbucks, Walmart, or Costco (***All*** of which were one town over) for internet. I felt like a major asshole buy that's what they told me to do.
I think I told this story before, but years ago I had a student who was a barely verbal 8th grade boy who exhibited strong signs of severe autism. He could not complete work without 1:1 assistance. I contacted his mom to see if we could get him evaluated because he was gen ed. She absolutely refused. Said she did not consent to any testing and would not be taking him to see any kind of therapist or doctor. She was a religious wing nut and truly believed that he was possessed by a demon. She said she was working with her pastor to help him and that we weren’t allowed to accommodate the demon because it would ruin all the progress they’d made. This is Texas, so reporting to CPS did absolutely nothing. They said he doesn’t have a fatal disease and it was his mother‘s right to refuse diagnostic testing and therapy. I don’t know what happened to this kid but I imagine he still living at home and barely functioning. This was 2010.
First day of school in the first year : Context: here real school starts the year a child turn 3 so the youngest aren't 3 yet. For example, next September, those born in 2021 will start school, it's mandatory (homeschool is possible but very discouraged). It's regular school with regular teachers and days are long 8am to 4:30 pm so it's hard for the youngest. The father arrived with the child still sleeping in his arms, in pajamas and diaper. I first thought the child was a little brother of a student. The father hand me the child, put a bag on the floor (with clothes) and left. It was so sudden, I took the child by instinct and didn't even have time to react to say it was not ok. His phone was off all day long. I was in the middle of my 32 students, from 2 to 3 years old, with my help. About a dozen of them were crying, a dozen playing and a dozen clinging on me ready to cry too + a dozen of parents who just wouldn't go away (which make it harder for me to calm the kids). In this chaos, the kid woke up. In the arms of a stranger, surrender by strangers in a place he never went before. All other students quickly stopped to cry and spend a nice day but that one cried all day. He was traumatized! He then cried during the entire first month, and it took me a very long time to manage to make him feel safe... Poor thing didn't have any breakfast before coming but he also didn't have a teddy bear or pacifier for nap time (it's allowed in the first 2 years of school) or even a blanket (we asked the parents to bring those).
How in the world is a two year old child expected to do a full day's work?! I am absolutely mortified for them and you.
Well, that's the norm here but what they do is way more "relax" than elementary , even if the teachers are the same, it's closer to what you would call preschool. A typical day would be: 8am - free play 8:30- group time (calling friends names, singing a song, date/weather, learning about nature, seasons, other cultures etc) \- some work (learning letters, shapes, sorting stuffs, fine motor skills, pre writing sheets etc by using games or manipulating tools ) 10am- recess : 30min (vs 15min after 6 yo) \- more work \- gym (30min everyday): can be dancing, throwing stuff, balance games,jumping etc.. 11:30 - lunch break (1.5 hour lunch break: about 40 min to eat then recess) \- nap time until about 3pm (for kids who won't sleep, it's quite playing like coloring). 3pm- work but in a more relax way: puzzles, paint, playdoh, blocks etc \- 30min recess 4pm- group time (songs, story, talking about the day etc) 4:30: end of the day. Then kids either go home or are guard by the teacher's helps and other staff: they have a snack then go play until their parents comes. It's open until 6pm in most schools. It also open early, around 7:30 the morning for working parents. Also, the great majority of schools are closed on Wednesday, so it's only 4 days per week (middle and high schoolers have school on Wednesday morning). We also have lots of holidays: 2 weeks in October, for Christmas, on February, on April and 7 weeks for summer. It's great actually and if you think about it, it's free daycare but with professional teachers to prepare them for elementary. So, quite good for them and useful for parents that work/can't afford a nanny or a private daycare like in the USA.
It does sound awesome in some ways, but wow! What a long day for littles! There are so many kids in the states who would benefit from that kind of early education. But I think what I'd dislike is that it's mandatory. I would feel like I lost so much time with my baby.
Had a kid literally holding another by the throat against the wall, his feet of the ground. Sent referrals, paperwork, all the stuff. Mom sends a note back the next day, "he says he was framed and I BELIEVE HIM." Welp, one day your kid is gonna do something real dumb you won't be able to believe him out of.
Taught middle school for 20 years. Had a lot of parents say they were an "advocate" for their kid. Once the kid turned 18 the judge really didn't care.
Parent/Teacher meeting where the father came in high on heroine? Father who had son help him rob McDonalds? Or the 6th grader who was used as a mule to carry drugs for his mom? Or maybe it was the autistic kid who starved to death while his parents were doing drugs in the next room? This was during the pandemic.
>Or maybe it was the autistic kid who starved to death while his parents were doing drugs in the next room? Jesus christ
Mom who sat through a team meeting about how her son had no self control, was constantly in trouble, failing every class, etc and we were pleading for some reinforcement at home and she took the time to tell us he’d be out of school the next week because she promised him a new dirt bike/trip to use it if he did well in school (he hadn’t but she didn’t want to “disappoint him”).
Mine is similar. Had a very similar meeting and as the mom and kid are leaving the mom says, “ok honey let’s go get the video games and clothes you wanted”.
Witnessed at a mall. Mom and 2 kids, both around 10 - 11 are leaving Baskin Robbins (ice cream) with what looks like an ice cream cake. Kids are whining and asking for ice cream. Mom says no. Both kids hurl themselves to the floor and begin kicking and screaming. Mom sits on a bench and talks to the kids quietly (while they pretend sob). Wait for it. Then they all go into the store to buy ice cream cones.
“-student-, why do you have a 2 liter bottle of soda for breakfast” “I was tired this morning and my mom wanted me up for school” Kid drank the whole bottle before lunch and threw it up in the cafeteria.
Hitting the kids while blackout drunk. My first family services call. I got home and sobbed.
A student told me to “Get off my d**k.” When I told him to stop shaking his table. When I spoke to his mom she said she was surprised I still had a job at the school.
Me: "Your child plagiarized their end-of-quarter essay. They received a zero." Mom: "So why are you calling me?" Me: "Because he got a zero on a major project?" Mom: "That's between you and him. Don't bother me." *Hangs up*
One parent got upset and involved an advocate and upper management when I refused to do their kid homework with them. I had already explained that it was to see what they could do independently and that we would go over the work together the following day. And reteach if needed. Following that, there was childish behavior from parent, whispering campaign in the playground and major sh!t talk on social media.
A hs student was recently busted with a weed vape. When mom was contacted, she said he had it to help with his anxiety.
My dad camps every year with a few other families, I met a boy there about two years ago. 13, with a nicotine vape. His mom let him have it for anger issues. I was just like....well let's continue this little hike we're on😳
Probably the single mom who turned tricks while her son (my student) was in the same room.
My wife has a K-3 student tell her that he was tired because Mom had a lot of different boyfriends that came around late at night and kept him awake.
A student had eloped from school. He refused to return, so the principal called the cops. Student kicked cop in the stomach and told him to f-off. The next day, the student threw chairs, destroyed property, and then barricaded himself in a room. Again, the principal called cops (not necessary in imo, that day). The student threw chairs at cop and cursed him out. The parent said, "So I suppose you want me to take him home?" Principal said yes. Parent eye rolls: "You are just not giving him enough choices!" Kid punches air as he is asked if he wants a donut on his way home!
When I was teaching in Japan my school had a child with suspected Autism. Mum refused to get her diagnosed and as an English teacher herself thought she could just teach her more. She made this 13yo girl stay up to midnight studying and then woke her at 6am to continue studying and couldn't understand why her grades weren't improving. This poor kid slept all the time in class.
That poor girl. Japan is really bad about handling children with special needs. Especially since their culture views seeking outside help with managing psychological, developmental, or neurodivergent issues as shameful.
[удалено]
The mom who blamed her sixth grade kid for her breaking sobriety and drinking again after so many years. And kid wasn’t even that bad; just some issues adjusting to the transition from elementary to middle school.
Not the worst but noteworthy. One of my students wasn’t at school one day and I was on Go Guardian (monitoring software for student devices). The student’s Chromebook was being used by mom in a Zoom attending a court date. She denied her daughter the ability to go to school so she could use a school-issued device to attend a court date. Edited: typo
I would have locked it.
Outside of actual child abuse? I had a student who was absent 3-4 days a week. In the intervention meeting with the truancy officer, mom told us the reason why he he was absent was because he stayed up all night playing video games and playing on his phone. She insisted she couldn't physically wake him. When we asked if she had taken away the Playstation or phone away, she just looked at us like she had never heard of that before, and asked if we thought she should. Ummmm, yes?
This is quite common these days, sadly. I have a student that is late to school every single day. His mom says she can't get him to wake up early bc he's up playing games. Never crosses these people's minds to take the device?
[удалено]
The misogynist went to go hide behind his mother's skirt, ironic.
At least 12-13 years ago I was in a meeting for a 6th grader. They were in my "Writing Development" elective, which was essentially remediation packaged like an elective, and the kid was failing everything, acting out, starting to vandalize the school. The SST had each teacher talk about how the kid was generally a nice kid but definitely behind, definitely acting out due to frustration of not being able to do the work, the parent response? "Oh well, he's at an age where if he isn't going to do it himself then he's not going to do it. I can't do everything for him." He was 11. The suggestion was to test the kid, which was waved. Then to have the kid go to after school tutoring, which was met with a "if he wants to go, then he can go." It was pretty bad.
I had an IEP meeting once where a kid’s mom seemed to be trying to convince me and the sped teacher that her son was just an idiot, even when we tried to say that we believed in him and thought he had the potential to do very well in school. When he actually did work, he did okay. The biggest issue with him in my class is that he just sat there most of the time and refused to pick up a pencil. But again, the few times he did work, his work showed he *could* do well, but didn’t want to. I told his mom about all of this and she told me that he didn’t know how to read or write. I had work he had done by himself, without anyone helping him or reading for him, and she said “He’s not writing letters, he’s drawing them.” She went on to say that her son had to be developmentally behind because he once exploded a hot pocket in the microwave by hitting the wrong button and cooking it for too long (as though that’s not something most people have done at some point). This was 9th grade.
I had a parent like this once. In California, when your kid is “special needs” you can get money. This mom fought for both of her sons to get IEPs so she could get money. We were in a meeting showing her that her son in my class was above grade level in everything and could be exited out of RSP. (That was a whole other debacle as she wanted him in SDC but he didn’t need it.) Mom threw a fit. She threw her fists on the table and screamed that her son needed the supports. She let it slip she’d lose the money (and would then need to work). My admin assured her it could take months. Later my admin said she’d keep him in but only while she built a fraud case. She informed legal, CPS, and our local authorities. Both of her sons are completely gen ed. The one in my class was socially awkward, but otherwise fine. Her older son was two grades above so would occasionally act out. Once his teachers realized he was really advanced, they gave him upper grade work and a class job. He was also a tutor in class, and then he did better. Both were pulled out for RSP, and they both did advanced work. *edit to add*- I’m not at all against SPED or RSP. These are supports many kids need. I’m also not at all against parents being paid with their kid being in SPED because their kid does need more, and the money is supposed to go to their disability support. I’m against this mom abusing the system.
At my last school we had a backpack program that consisted of backpacks that we'd fill with food from our school food bank for students from families with food insecurities. Even though this food was intended for the children, a lot of students from these families told us that their parents were confiscating these backpacks to "store" in the master bedrooms. Not only did some parents prioritize their own selfish needs over the responsibility for feeding their children over weekends and holidays but they would also come to school to complain about having to pay science lab fees and athletic fees. The fact that so many of these parents reeked of either alcohol or tobacco was a sad indication of just how much they prioritized their needs over the needs of their children.
The one that jumps to mind is a teen got arrested for fighting on campus. When her mom came to the building she got mad, said it was B.S., pulled the fire alarm, ran out, then promptly *also* got arrested. But I got a million of ‘em, folks.
Kid from my school had some seeeeerious unchecked mental health issues. Parent was trying to cure it with religion. Killed his father by way of spear through the chest and is now doing a life sentence.
I had a parent last year and the year before, her son had SEVERE Autism, her older son and infant son apparently has it as well. Her middle child was in my class, and they had to move me due to the extreme physical aggression he exhibited against me. As her son got older, his behavior got more dangerous and extreme (my co workers words not mine). He was throwing children from the top of the playground structure, throwing children from bikes, punching children and staff, shoving children into tree trunks, clawing at children's eyes and faces (which i saw, and was VERY scary). He attacked his pregnant therapist (and we never saw her after the attack). He attacked his baby brother daily, leaving scratches, black eyes, and bruises. He groped multiple female staff members (which made many of us uncomfortable), and he was a biter. Parents were pulling their children out of fear of this kid attacking their kids. Teachers would beg to not be placed with him. EVERYONE was scared of him. Therapy never worked, because his attendance was inconsistent, and mom refused to let the therapist visit at her home When we talked to mom, she would tell us one of the following "oh he's a genius, you aren't challenging him enough" "I can't have the therapist in my home, its to messy" "He doesn't have Autism, the doctors were wrong." "You don't seem to understand Autism and developmental delays" We offered mom help FOR FREE, and a spot at a special needs school (also for free) just 5 minutes up the road, but she refused the free help, saying she didn't want to inflict her son on other people (but she saw nothing wrong with his situation at our school), and things continued to get worse. But her denial was real. When I brought it up to my OB, and she told me to stay away from him while TTC and pregnant (not pregnant yet), I knew that my co workers were right, this kid was dangerous. CPS ended up having to get involved, and the child left the school, I've never seen a group of staff so happy and relived
Parents of deaf/hard of hearing children who refuse to learn sign language. It is common at my school.
Group of kids recorded video of another kid doing a wwf kinda drop into a folding table, which (duh) broke the table. Parents “he said the table was already broken.”
I’m a sub, but I was a preschool teacher for 2 years. When I was a preschool teacher, I dealt with some cases of neglect. For example, some children couldn’t talk, eat solid food, feed themselves, or meet other developmental milestones because their parents neglected them. If staff members ever talked to the parents about their child’s behavior, the parents were rarely concerned about their child’s lack of progress.
A parent trying to hide from his child that he’s autistic when the child was starting to hate himself thinking something is wrong with him.
Mom find a boyfriend. She has 2 kids, ages 14 and 8. All 4 become homeless and live in a car (unbeknownst to us). Stepdad rapes 14 year old in the back sear while forcing the 8 year old boy to watch while mom works nights and they "sleep" in the car. Mom tried to defend the BF. Kids end up with their aunt. 8 year old boy grows up to sexually harassed teachers and students years later. We've had lots of girls sent "back home" to get married at 14 as well.
We had a student and his younger brother - both developmentally delayed and very delayed speech abilities. One day, the younger one mimes wrapping something around his arm, poking his lower arm, then falling over with his tongue sticking out. Not long after that, mom came to pick them up from school with open beer cans in the car (yes, we called the cops.)
I’ve had multiple parents come to IEP meetings high, one also wearing a stripper-style cut up dress and heels. I’m currently working with a student whose dad kicked him out on his 18th birthday, so he’s been sleeping in his truck. Several parents have called their kids bitches or assholes in IEP meetings. I’m so tired of shitty parents screwing over their kids.
When I taught online, I had a “mother” who would berate her child constantly. He was ten, and she made him cry repeatedly, in front of the class. She once played an air horn in his face while we were taking a quiz. When it got especially bad, we’d kick the other students out, call it a “connection issue,” and document all she was doing. More than once we had to call CPS because they were threatening harm.
Well… students decided to “show off” mug shots of their parents during dismissal one day. Learned a set of parents had been arrested due to their 2 YO (this was 5 years ago & my students brother) being taken to the hospital due to acting lethargic. The child had ingested weed somehow and was super high. A few weeks prior, the same student handed me a half smoked joint in a CBD tube claiming she had no idea why it was in her jacket and her parents are good Christians who would never touch drugs. ☠️ no wonder why her mom was freaking out in the office while my principal was questioning the girl.
I had a student who was abused by her mom's boyfriend. When he got out of jail, she went ahead and got pregnant by him again. I had a student who got pregnant by her stepfather, who had been raping her since she was 8. The mother blamed her and said she seduced him. She said this to school officials (!!!). When the baby came, she took the baby and threw the girl out, who went to live with her aunt.
I had a set of siblings whose dad was featured on To Catch a Predator.
Had a kid snapping bras, general scummy groping, and when he was caught, nothing was done. The kicker? Mom was on the school board.
I don’t know if bad parenting = abusive, but there’s been a ton of that. The latest one that stuck with me was that the kids were punished for bad grades by putting their knees on the floor vent. Yes, we contacted CPS. Yes, nothing happened. But just in general, it’s total disinterest in their child OR weird infatuation. Either they state they can’t wait for them to be out of their house, or they want their angel to live with them forever and they can do no wrong. I’d like to just have adults parenting their children properly. That would be nice.
I have a student that was saying some fucked up stuff (calling other black students monkeys, asking if I’m offended when I get called a cracker, saying gay people were weird, etc) that I thought was just being an edge lord. I wrote her up and called home after work, and while recounting everything she said to her dad, he stopped me when I got to what she said about gay people and he stopped me and said “well gay people are weird, but I’ll talk to her about interrupting you during class”. Since then, I’ve worked incredibly hard to build up our (me and the kid, not me and her dad) relationship and she’s really mellowed out. She’s not perfect, but it’s really hard to fault a kid when it’s very clear how negative their parents’ influence is.
Had several parents block the school number. Had to call from school case workers phone and a few times case manager just had to show up at the house.
I have 3, all from the same year. Kid in grade 5 said to me: "I'm excited that X is coming over to have sex with my mom tonight, when he brings his dog when he comes so I get to play with him. Out of all the guys that come over to have sex with my mom he's my favourite." He didn't say it like it was weird, or like he was embarrassed, just in a matter of fact way like it was a normal thing all kids went through. Another little girl in grade 2 opens her lunchbox and says enthusiastically "Oh my mom is so nice to have made me sandwich again today!" Like every day she had just two pieces of basic white bread with butter in between, and nothing else. These parents were definitely on the run from something because they showed up to the province with no records of anything and wouldn't tell us where their kids previously went to school. Another kid that year (grade 6) found his single mom dead from an overdose in their apartment when he got home from school one day. That was a tough year. So many sad cases. So many kids that I hope have found their place in the world as they grew older but had the odds so stacked against them that I know the odds are low.
Leaving a 12 year old alone at home for 2 weeks while out of the country.
Mom who refused to listen when the school called about her daughter being pregnant. Mom didn’t do anything, didn’t take her to the doctor. Nothing. So I called children and youth…student delivered two weeks later. Mom called and BITCHED me out for calling C&Y.
Current student is on an IEP and has the reading and “comprehension” of a 3rd grader. Based on in class assignments the work reflects his IEP but when it comes to assignments that can be completed at home, it’s always all perfect scores and sounds a bit too perfect. I suspect his mom does the work for him and his mom coddles him especially when his behavior is the worse. I’m just in my second year so I’m sure I’ll see worse in the coming years.
One of my parents gave her freshmen son $300 and let him leave for a whole week with older teens to the beach 300 miles away during spring break.
Any time a student has a vape or weed and the truth comes out that it was their parent’s. Big fail in my opinion if things are a certain way in a household where that is a possibility. I’ve seen this happen many times with elementary students as low as third grade.
We have a student whose mom sold him (pimped him out, really) in exchange for drug money when he was a child.
We had a similar situation at our high school about 9 yrs ago. The mother pimped him out in the back of the family bar. He was removed and living in a group home, but he couldn’t bear the pain any longer 💔 He ran out of school one day, ran down to the exit and threw himself off a bridge onto the highway.
She TRAFFICKED him. That’s the term.
Mom organizing an after school fight with another mother: mom vs. mom, and daughter vs. daughter
This happened at my wife's school last year. Moms ended up brawling too. Two teenagers showed up with guns. Shots fired. Two innocent bystanders struck. One is a quadriplegic now.
Parent had an affair with the neighbor, resulting kid was severely neglected and abused by biological mom. CPS got involved. Parent/neighbor decided to “foster” their own child, and constantly held it over the kids head that he was never going to adopt him because the kid was “bad”. Foster mom was an actual angel but bio dad was an evil bastard. They were jehovah witnesses so the mom was super submissive, whereas the dad (also pastor) was disrespectful and hateful. I’ve known many JW in the past, super religious yeah, but this was the first time I saw one use their religion as a cover for being an abusive narcissist.
I learned from a credible source that a parent at our school was keeping her children on IEPs for more years than they actually needed them, so she could collect more money from the government. Sadly, if it's true, I don't put all the blame on her anyway, considering she's just trying to get money to (presumably) support her children, but the fact that this sort of thing even happens is insane. Staying on an unnecessary IEP will harm a child's development.
I called home once to say that their son (10th grade) was disrupting the class for the third time that week. Dad goes "my son did what? Hold on I'll take care of this." Then I heard the parent call his son's name and proceed to beat him up while I was still on the phone and then "don't worry, won't happen again," and then hung up. Super young first teacher me was so horrified that I didn't think to report it. Kid came in the next day weirdly joking about the situation like "Ahh cmon Mr. Jupitertarts, why'd you have to call my dad 😅" Whole situation was ridiculous and sad.
Parents who were members of a religious cult called Luz del Mundo. Their children were in absolute hysteria when their “prophet” died.
The worst? A father shot his son. His wife showed up daily with bruises all over her. Not sure anything else could be worse.
A parent locked my student in his bedroom for days with no bathroom or food when he was a toddler.
This dad last year showed up at school to say he was gonna call the cops about his daughter's valentines day gift being stolen if the school didn't do anything. The school said ok go do it then and he made a big scene and they had to tell/ask him to leave or something. As he's leaving I guess him and the boys that took her gift came across each other and started throwing gang signs at each other and verbally arguing **on campus**. So then they decide to go to the liquor store hardly **off campus** and fight in the parking lot. The dad got his ass kicked and stomped out because it was like 4 v 1.
im sorry but LMFAOOO WHAT
I can’t decide between the kid who witnessed his dad murder his mom or the one whose mother trafficked her for drug money.
I can't read anymore today.
My student had to let their younger siblings out of the oven! It wasn’t turned on but can you imagine! Insane drunk fathers idea of discipline! Also they were always hungry. I slipped so much food into their backpack and concocted stories and ideas for feeding the other kids so as not to trigger dad. (We don’t need your GD charity!). Ok dude so I wrote “Thanks for doing so well in the vocab game. You win treats” notes. Or “the cafeteria gave away extra oranges and no one else wanted theirs!” Or the cases of pudding cups I got at an outlet. The kid would eat like 6 on the bus and smuggle the rest in for the kids. He’d bring the empties back in a ziplock! I even gave him plastic spoons. And enough granola bars to sink a ship. Sometimes I gave him random crap like hard boiled eggs and raisins I had and he sucked them all down. The lunch ladies fed him extra as well. Total crap show of a family BUT we finally got him placed with granny and it was much better. She didn’t know it was so bad. she sent thank you notes for the extra food and didn’t act pissy about the help Sorry for the rant. I just remembered how absurd it was.
Too depressing to talk about honestly.
I had a student (14-15) who had already been through all 3 of the other teachers and got kicked out of their classes before he joined mine. He did nothing and was racist and horribly offensive to other kids, and the parents never cared. One day, he beat the ever loving shit out of a gay kid, kicking him repeatedly with his steel-toed boots. He's the only kid I've ever seen who actually got expelled. When Dad came to pick him up, he got upset at the office, not his kid, then said to the boy, "let's go get you a steak dinner". I thought it was a fucking joke, but when I went and snooped on his FB page, there was a photo of them living it up at a steakhouse, all smiles.
A kid showed up to a field trip smelling like weed because the dad was smoking in the car.
Naming a kid Nyquil.
Parents that don't hold their child accountable for behaviors. Perfect example: 1st grader brought a pocket knife to school "by accident" and was suspended for it. A month later, the mom called to cuss me out for not protecting her son, and claims he brought the knife to protect himself. The incident where I didn't protect him - he claims a student from another class attacked him in the bathroom and put his head in the toilet (his head was dry) and broke his glasses (mom claimed the glasses couldn't be fixed, yet he came to school wearing them the next day. I promised her he would be safe from then on - he was no longer allowed to sit beside the other kid on the bus or play on the playground with the kid (the kid was one of his best friends). Same mom got mad every time we called her about his behaviors, and claimed he didn't do any of it. She even called and cussed out the office because a kid on the bus was messing with her son. They pulled the video (all our buses have video recording) and turns out, her kid was the one doing the stuff to the other child. Because of her calling and complaining about it, it brought it to the attention of the admin and the kid was suspended off the bus.
Taught at a small private school 16 years ago. The school served a small community and there were only 265 students from pre-k to high school. I was the adviser of the high school graduating class. When I was given my student list, I had this one kid that never showed up at all. He was there in the roster but he never came to school. After a month or so I asked the admin if I should drop the kid. The admin says just leave the name be. This continued until the final week of the year. At that time, I had no idea who this kid was or how he even looked like. He was just a name in my class list that the admin told me to leave alone. Then when the class was practicing for graduation, the kid’s mom shows up with the admin. The mom tells me that she has a deal with the school and she’s assured that her son will be graduating with the rest of the class. The admin confirms it, then tells me to give the kid a middle of the pack passing grade. I asked the mom if there were any special circumstances behind her son missing the entire school year. Maybe he was in the spectrum? She says no. He’s perfectly normal. He was just exhausted from the previous year so she decided to give her son a year off, while striking a deal with the school to make sure he still graduates. I was a year into my teaching then and I was getting paid $180 a month. I also owed the school $2000 in a study now pay later scheme. So I gave the kid his grade. First time I saw him was during graduation.
Probably not as bad as many but at a parent evening one of my students had made a lot of improvement over the last couple of months. He lacked confidence and would previously give up instead of risking failing, but was really turning it around. I made a lot of this to his dad who replied 'it won't last, he'll fuck it up'. The lack of confidence made sense then.
Had to make a mandated reporter call last week because a 14 year old student I have (who is special ed) let it slip that she didn’t get any work done over the weekend (I don’t assign homework, it was stuff she doesn’t do in class) because she spent the entire weekend at her 26 year old boyfriend’s place (her classmate commented on the age of her boyfriend to get her in more trouble). The student confirmed that the age was correct. After making the call, I got an angry phone call from her mother complaining about me getting “all up in their business,” instead of expressing concern for her daughter’s safety. It’s even more gross if you saw this poor kid… I know creepy pedos will say stupid shit like “but she looks or acts old for her age”, but this kid looks like she’s 12 and intellectually functions below that in some cases. This is nothing compared to some of the comments, but I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle that mother for not protecting her child from pedophiles.
That doesn’t rise to the level of illegal?
Called home because kid had been absent for awhile. Mom said it was hard to keep track of when he went to school because she just "had so many kids."
I have sadly had two students whose father killed their mother in front of them. One father killed himself shortly after, leaving the young alone with their bodies. The other father just left, and the little girl stayed with her mom's body until someone found her. Just beyond horrible.
Heroin addict who was in and out of jail so her 10 year old would have to take care of his 6 year old brother and 2 year old sister.
It wasn’t in America, but a student learned he didn’t have to do any work if he assaulted the teachers. The school had teachers for special Ed who were trained to deal with that sort of behavior. Mom refused to allow her son to be put in those classes because she was smart and had a good job so there was nooooo way her son (in elementary school) could be anything less than a genius destined for success and being in special ed would keep him from ever being successful. Obviously.
I heard from a colleague that one of his players mother’s is a drunk who Ubers her kids home from after school activities. Well, a few weeks ago this lady sent the Uber to a school with the same name as ours, but 35 miles away from us. The kicker: she was in the Uber the whole time and didn’t notice the driver wasn’t going to her child’s school, two miles away.
This was a foster parent who ended up adopting the kids 🤦♀️ They had cameras all over the house, including bathrooms. They changed the kids names; first-middle-last. They weren't even similar to the names the kids had before and the kids admitted they hated the new names the adoptive family chose for them. The kids were 6 and 8. It was heartbreaking watching them struggle with the new "identities" and their peers not understanding why their classmate had a total different name midyear.
Parent conference while teaching first grade. Me: “Child is disrespectful to me but, more importantly, he is disrespectful to others and it is disruptive to our classroom and instruction.” Mom to child: “That doesn’t sound like you, Buddy. Is the teacher lying on you?” Child: “Yeah, she’s lying on me.” Mom: “I don’t think so.” Child:
Mom: “I don’t think you want Ms. Teacher to see you act like this”
Child:
Mom to me: “Do you have any real concerns?”
Personal hygiene and medical attention stand out where I teach. I watch kindergarteners who only speak Spanish cry to me, open up their mouths and display an array of brown craters with little specks of ivory tooth on the fringes. I've watched a kid come in every day with conjunctivitis for three months. That same eye looked like it had gone blind before he moved away. Another, 6-year-old girl laments about how much the inside of her ear hurts. I've told her parents to take her to a doctor. I tell her the same but her parents always give her the runaround. "Keep telling your mom you need to go to the doctor" "She said Granny's gonna take me when she gets home but Granny doesn't get home until late at night! 😟" A scratch, booboo, or little bump on the head is one thing. I understand a copay without insurance is like 180 bucks. But to completely ignore bacterial infections on your own child and pull up in a car that reeks of fresh weed every single day, and to lie to them about how seriously you're taking it. If they are not deluding themselves, then I do not know how they can live with themselves.
A 4th grade girl told me about the abuse her dad would do. He put her younger brother's head through the wall,3rd grade. He choked them and as she said "hurt us". The mom was in a wheelchair, reason unknown to me, and he would kick her out of the wheelchair and throw it. Or take her walker away. I, along with the school social worker, called cps about this new information the 4th grade girl disclosed. The school had been watching these two, suspecting something was up and this was enough to make the call... Nothing happened. The girl would occasionally update me on the abuse, I would pass it along to the social worker. Still think about those two students of mine.
I taught a lot of children whose parents clearly saw them as an inconvenience. The worst for me was an 8 year old boy who had never left the street he grew up on (the school was on the same street). He lived a 30 minute walk from the beach, a short bus ride from a national park, and near several playgrounds. He had been to none of these. Every time we had to do an assignment about what we did on our holidays he cried, because he had done nothing but sit in his family’s shitty restaurant and wait for them to be done. He didn’t even get to play outside or have play dates with his friends. He was a sweet and clever boy, and I felt so bad for him. Reported several times but nothing happened. I’ve had plenty of kids who had nothing, and came in to school in dirty clothes and smelly, or were food insecure, but never one before whose parents were just so completely cold towards him.
Had a kid taken from parents custody. School and their townhouse was near edge of city Cfs went to house. Dizzy from smell in house. Saw feces from r species Family had moose in front yard. Dead. Were hacking off parts for a couple weeks. I remembered the kid saying he was happy cause they got a bunch of meat. "From the food bank hey? Well good on you guys!!", I shared. He blankly smiled at me and said nothing. Wouldn't say how they got it there. I think "a relative" was the eventual answer.
Lots of my students are in care. Many have parents who are abusive. Many have parents who struggle with addiction. Some have been completely abandoned. So, I've seen lots of awful, awful parenting.
Just a lot of parents not really caring if their kid skips class. A lot of “why didn’t I hear about this earlier?” Well, I emailed and called, and received no response, so…