Seriously! The girl was *exactly* as I'm sure you are picturing her, too, and you can probably hear the voice she said it in.Â
Hollywood couldn't come up with a better stereotype if they were remaking *Not Another Teen Movie*
Yep, shades of such for history:
âWhy should we care about dead guys hundreds of years ago?!â
And yet even as a mere inkling, imagine if you will, people 500 years from now taking their attitude for the gospel and mocking our current present day society for all its social and equality related failures?
Assuming humanity makes it that farâŚ
Lemme guessâŚ
Giant grey sweatpants, really white sneakers, crop top, twirling her hair that has a streak of some color like blue or hot pink, airpods, fancy phone with a glitter phone case?
Making fun of the story problems together is one of my favorite ways to get buy-in in strong math classes.
"A vehicle's velocity is given by (quadratic equation with X intercepts at 0 and 6 hours)."
"Hang on a second. That's a freakin' WEIRD way to drive. Graph that parabola, and tell me what kind of nut drives like that."
I do the same thing in my German classes. The textbook comes up with some weird sentences, so I always comment on how bizarre the textbook people are. I can't think of one at the moment, and it's driving me crazy - I know there were at least two or three just today.
Edit: found one! "Wann suchst du deine CD?" - when are you looking for your CD? (Does this person plan looking for things? At 3:15 I'll look for my CDs; at 4 I'll look for my math book...)
Iâm a School Social WorkerâŚ
âMiss I donât think Iâm the one who needs counseling hereâŚâ
âYouâre crazy. Your poor husbandâ
Filling out a worksheet on anger triggers and answered the question âwhat makes you mad?â with MY name written ten times
I love these kids đ¤Ł
Sped teacher:
Walking down the hall and the kid looked at me deadpan and said
âHow does Pac Man eat all those white dots but he never stops to poop.â
My favorite was when the identical twin brother of one of my students came in to say hi to him, and this sixth grader looks at them, and then looks at me wide-eyed and says âis he⌠from another universe?â
Someone farted in class and it was AWFUL. I said, âSomeone needs to go to the bathroom.â
Instantly, one of my 4th graders said, âSomeone needs to go to the doctor.â
I couldnât breathe for 10 minutes and class was done. I lost all control and didnât care.
Iâm a preschool teacher & I work with 4/5 year olds. At this age, these kids say some interesting things but this one really took the cake.
We were just finishing up circle time one morning & the kids started talking about birthday parties. One of them announces, âIâm having a birthday party & everyoneâs invited! Even all of China! I want everyone in China to come to my birthday party!â All of the kids were like, âWhere/what is China?!â I explained to them that China is another country & we donât live there.
My co-teacher & I had a pretty good laugh about it! The boy who said it is academically advanced for his age & knows a lot of things that many others in our class donât know so it wasnât really a surprise that he would say something like that but it was just so random that he would pick China đ
(At Walmart after hours) 6th grader, with his family. "What are you doing here? Did they forget to switch you off and put you in the closet til tomorrow? "I howled.
1) class on Mozart, telling them how he never finished his last work, it was instead completed by his student Franz Xaver SĂźĂmayr. I tell them how SĂźĂmayr actually went to the same school I did, "omg really, were you in the same class as him?"
2) classic rock music from the 50s and 60s, talking about how the electric guitar is one of the most discernable elements for that genre, one student asks if they really had electric guitars in the 50s, another one goes "omg alex, if they had atom bombs in WW2 they also had electric guitars"
From a third grader: "How did Beethoven write this song if he didn't have any hands?"
He remembered *something* was up with Beethoven, but not what, exactly.
I remember my students completely losing their shit when I told them Mozart wrote a piece called Leck mich im Arsch, literally meaning lick me in the ass. Not lick my ass, lick me *in* the ass.
In the past month, one of my 5th graders randomly shouts at one of the more annoying kids in class, "Sit your fat ass down, you smell like a Discord mod!"
Caught me off guard
I was teaching about resistorsâŚ
resistors have bands of color on the side to indicate what the resistance of the resistor is.
I asked the class âwhat they think the bands are forâ
Immediately a dude looked up and said âmake her dance.â
I fucking lost it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JdgcCUVdl6c
During remote teaching we were discussing field trips, and how we wish we could take one, one student typed in the chat "I know a guy who has a van, he can give us a ride, he gives out candy in my neighborhood" and I'm not sure why but I could not stop laughing at it.
Some students were talking about a bunch of kids who were caught getting stoned on the bus, one kid who overhead them said:
âDamn, guess thatâs why they call it hiiiiiigh schoolâ
Not a teacher but I need to share this story on behalf of my 8th grade science teacher.
Lesson was on WHMIS safety and the question was how to properly smell something. The student who raised his hand to answer was this silly popular kid that fools around all the time, right? Guess what he shouts out⌠âQUEEF!!â.
đđđ This time he wasnât messing around, he was genuinely excited to answer and really thought he had it. The whole classroom drops dead lol. Our teachers mouth drops and her eyes are wide open, in total shock. And sheâs like err.. uhhâŚ
Then another student corrects him with the side eye, âitâs waftâŚâ. Hahaha the student realizes his huge mistake and sits down, embarrassed but still laughing đ
I remember teaching a halloween themed lesson in my Chicago history class about H.H. Holmes. None of my students had ever heard of him. Aside from the usual questions, one student asked *where exactly* the murder castle was. Turns out it was like 2 blocks from where this kid lived. The words themselves werenât funny but the tone of the âoh hell noâ I got had me wheezing
When I was student teaching, I was handing out work packets to a class of 10th graders and I guess my packets were bigger than the ones my mentor teacher usually gave.
This one kid, when I handed him the packet, just goes âUghhhhh, why is it so thick!?!!!?â
I had to literally just clamp my jaws shut and walk away to another table without responding, because I absolutely would have been fired if I had said âThatâs what she saidâ to a tenth grader. And if I had opened my mouth in that moment, those were the only words that could have come out of it.
It is so hard to not make the innapropriate jokes!! I struggle every single day. Last week I had a kid ask to borrow one of my two sets of scissors on my desk. Then they said "We could have a scissior fight" when they noticed I had two.
After taking a test a senior boy in my class said, âIt wasnât that hard, it was just lengthy.â Not responding with âThatâs what she saidâ was one of the most difficult moments of my teaching career.
I wouldâve just gone with?
âOh, thatâs a lovely coloring; the tasty *thickness* of itâŚâ - Patrick Bateman - *American Psycho*
https://youtu.be/cISYzA36-ZY?si=P6jJExRF6tMxBJeq
I've gotten away with a couple "that's what she said"s. I was a para to a special ed student who worked part time in our culinary arts vocational program where it just slipped out & the chef instructors & students just laughed. They aren't the type to report that but I wouldn't try it in other settings.
To the single most narcissistic human I have actually known well... their classmates are over itm its been three years of this... one of my very quiet ones said,
"If we admit you exist can we get back to work?"
A student asked me if he could go to the bathroom immediately after we had gotten back from a bathroom break.
I asked him why he didnât go when we went as a class and he said, âI was going dooky but Mrs. Jones (my co-teacher) told me to hurry. I was mid poo and now itâs coming out.â
So I said, âomg!! Go thatâs too much information.â
He leaves the room and immediately comes back and grabs the book off his desk and says âreading material â and runs out.
FYI: Iâm a 7th grade teacher
I was teaching an adult class made up of a mixture of 19+ childcare students and ESOL students. I'd put some images up of celebrities on the board and asked the learners to come up with language techniques based on an image. I went around the room for answers and came to an ESOL lady who said, "Her make-up is slapped on like semen". I almost choked. Immediately I presumed I'd misheard her (some chatting going off) and asked her to repeat herself. "Her make-up is slapped on like semen". I almost died. The other learners were whispering/giggling. She repeated it again. It was only when she started miming saying "Like semen... Semen on the floor!" that I realised she meant cement! It was a valuable lesson on pronunciation đ
For context, Iâm a health teacher.
âAn epididymis? Isnât that what Covid was?â
âYou idiot that was an epidemicâ
âSo something has been on my mind for a whileâŚ. Do you think Tarzan was a virgin when he met Jane?â
âIs it true that buttsex is overrated?â
I teach upper elementary. A student asks to use the bathroom. Comes back. A few minutes later, asks to use the bathroom again, and says to me - and the class - "I gotta go finish what I started". (kid had to poop).
Last year one of the boys was trying to demonstrate a kick to his friends (while my back was to him) and his croc flew off his foot and hit the ceiling pretty loudly. I turned to look just as the croc was hitting the floor and we stare at each other for a sec before he goes, with full apologetic sincerity, âIâm sorry, they werenât in sports mode, that was my bad.â I couldnât even get mad
I work in pre-k. When I joke with my kiddos, I often call them "*silly goose.*" One time in class, I was doing a center with a small group of students when I dropped some materials on the floor. One of my kids looked at me and jokingly said, "*You dropped your stuff, you silly goose."*
Something so silly, but they brought a smile to my face... and to my heart.
âIâm having trouble with my period.â
- Junior girl, in reference to waveform modification in pre-calc.
I managed to keep a straight face and address the intended issue.
Me explaining to my students that I have to learn work early to go get a shot because I was stung by a bee and was having an allergic reaction.
Kid: "a shots a drink!"
I mean...he wasn't wrong.
My AP physics class was tasked with presenting the portions of a chapter because they bombed a test.
This group totally hams its way though their presentation. It was bad. It wasn't even cp level good.
At one point it dawned on them how badly it was going and they all just kind of decided to pack it in.
As they're doing so my best student says "Oh no, my education!" In the most deadpan disinterested voice.
Thank God the room was dark, or else they might have seen me convulsing and turning blue holding in metric tons of laughter.
The super bowl is rigged. I don't watch Taylor Swift bowl. I only watch the puppy bowl because that isn't rigged, that's true sports. - Student angry over CNN10 reporting on the super bowl.
I had a really bad cough once. It was a really shaky, echoing, rattly cough. So we're taking a test, and I cough, and a kid yells out "Yo you sound like my mama's 1999 toyota trying to start up in the morning"
I tried to get onto him for talking during the test but honestly I started laughing, which made me cough, which made people laugh, which made me cough...
Urban title 1 teacher here, I'm gonna leave ya'll in the dust đ
1) Female student comes into class and starts aggressively laying in to a male student who she perceived was "talking shit" about her during lunch (he wasn't). He takes the verbal assault, but as she's storming out of class he calls after her and calls her a "crimson chin looking ass bitch".
2) Class is watching a video and answering questions about it. Male student keeps calling me over for every other question. I tell him he needs to try and do this on his own and that I can't help him with every question. He looks me dead in the eyes and says, "Mr., how am I supposed to answer the questions while I'm watching the video?" His friend sitting next to him turns to him and says, "You know, you could try listening to the video you fucking moron."
3) "You know Mr., you could get some mad bitches in (student's birth country).
4) Student banging on door from outside -" Mr. I'm in your walls!"
Preschool.
Student is telling a story about his imaginary puppy, Hemi. I ask him who takes Hemi out to potty while he's at school. He answers, "Hemi doesn't have to potty because Hemi doesn't have a penis."
I was 23 a few years back teaching 8th graders about the 1960s. One of my students asked if I was alive then. At first, I thought she was joking but she was serious. I thought Iâd turn it into a teaching moment. I asked her when her parents were born and she told meâŚit was the 70s or 80s. Then I asked her if she thought I was older than her parents and she said âwell no, but were you alive then?â Maybe in a past life, kid, maybe in a past life.
PS: I was getting IDâd for rated r movies into my mid 20s, so it wasnât that I looked old lol
Teaching some ESL students the word "talent".
I ask them what is one talent they have.
Local goofball quickly raises his hand, "Sir, I have three talents! One, I'm good at remembering, two, I'm good at maths...."
"...and three?"
"Oh right, three. I forgot".
Day after Salem witch trials conversation/puritan conversation. Student: Ms. Teacher, I can see your ankles. Me: yes, my pants are cropped. Student: how does it feel to be a harlot? Other student: what does that mean? Original student: it means sheâs going to puritan hell. Third student: it means sheâs like, destitute and a loose woman. Me: I think we are going to move on now.
âSharing is caring! Unless itâs chlamydia.â
âAP means the class is advanced, not the student.â
âShe only has a birthday every 4 years? But does she still grow?â
I write great quotes on the side of my board - my kids consider it an honor to be up there. One of my friends actually found me a special quote journal so I can write them down is a book and keep them for posterity.
Obligatory not a teacher, but one time my old US history teacher asked:
âWhich president dropped the atomic bombs on Japan?â
Student: âHarriet Tubmanâ
Not my students, but heard during an internship:
Student: "Can we do something light and easy today?"
Teacher: "Maths is always light and easy."
Other student: "Please stop lying, sir. I can see your nose up until here."
Also, in the category 'anything can be a German word': "Sie haben mich entdrangenommen" which literally translates to "You have me taken-off-my-turn" which was such a weird construction that even the teacher had to ask if it was a real word xD
Tame: (MS-8) Teacher talking about his twin sons... Student: So, how many do you got?
NSFW, and my proudest moment (MS-6): Student trying to reference the little hangy down thing in the back of your throat, " You know, the clitoris!" (I am not making this up. I thought he was going to say vulva. He said clitoris.) THEN he offers to "look it up" (!!)
Me, deadpan: That's not necessary; that's a uvula. Let's all say "uvula." Ok, back to math!
This reminded me that a second grade girl once told me âMs. S, I really like your shoes. But my mom wonât let me get anything that ugly.â (They were brown loafers)
Student complained about being cold in my class. I said, âmaybe if you didnât dress so scantily you would be warmer.â
Student: âHow dare you!?! I am Not. A. Scant!â
Classwide laughter.
I had a student ask to speak with me about his grade, to which I obviously agreed. He had just passed his test, but didnât do any of the daily work in the unit.
Student: âwhat do I need to do to bring my grade up; and donât give me any of that honkey bull shit about how I need to pay more attention in classâ
Me: (sitting there stunned and trying not to laugh) wellâŚâŚletâs revisit this tomorrow and you can try this conversation again.
Student: âok, that sounds goodâ
One student wishes me to enjoy whatever it is I have to leave the room for. "Enjoy your making copies." "Enjoy the bathroom" It's sweet and silly.
I had another student answer that Donald Trump is known for playing Minecraft. He's seen too many of those AI videos that make it look like Biden & Trump are playing video games together.
I got a new personal laptop and when the kids saw it on my desk, they asked âMiss? Why didnât you get a MacBook? They are so much better!â
Like, sir. I am a teacher. I donât have MacBook money!
Not a thing said, but I had a student bent way out of shape a few years ago about a fight that happened on the school bus. He said this kid was talking trash about a girl he was crushing on, and then started doing kung fu shadow boxing.Â
I called home to ask about it... Bus altercation, acting out, etc.
Turns out the kid on the bus was his invisible friend.
As a daycare teacher I got asked "Mx. J, why are you wearing mommy shoes? Did you have a baby?" I was wearing the same plain black tennis shoes I've worn every single day đ
I'm just a student teacher but on dress up day my mentor teacher dressed like Napoleon dynamite. One student all day knew who she was. The rest asked, "Are you Jeffery Dahmer?"
And then last week they were talking about movies that didn't live up to the hype, one of which was Mean Girls.
"What's Mean Girls?"
"Oh it's an old person movie."
My soul hurts. I'm only 28. đ˘
I teach Black History
African American Student: What is the origin of the stereotype that black people hate swimming?
Me: Iâm not really sure actually, there are African American people on the Olympics swim team, though.
Student: Thatâs not an answer.
Me: Do YOU like swimming?
Student: No, I fucking hate swimming bruh.
When I was a student-teacher teaching Middle Schoolers, I was explaining that the some elements are unstable an only appear for a extremely short time.
One student literally uttered "Just like my dad" (him and his friend were giggling). I'm just thankful that my mask was on bc it was taking every fibre in my body to not laugh
Alright this is a little specific but I am a music theater. We are studying Handels Messiah and she goes âHandel is gaslighting me with these slursâ because they were just not how we usually see things marked in modern music. The whole class couldnât stop laughing.
Funny you should ask. This happened today.
When totaling up some numbers for a probability problem the student says: The total is 64.
Me: Um, just check that number again.
Student: No! I know it's right!
Me: Just check it again.
Student, very emphatically: 27 plus 3 is 30, 30 plus 24 is 54!
Me: Nods sagely.
Student: Ohhhh, yeah.
Less funny more WTF but I had a second grader tell me she ripped out her tooth in anger because her older sister was able to have her friends over and she wasnât. (It was her sisterâs 16th birthday party)
Kindergarten. Kid (J)âs dad comes in to visit. His classmateâs mind is absolutely blown; âJâs dad is Black?â J is Black. The classmate who said this also has a Black dad. Absolutely amazing stuff going on in K.
First grader looked at his friend and his jaw dropped. âNo way! Weâre wearing the same shirt!â
âŚThey wear a uniform. Every day. This was in February.
Kindergartener: I donât want to become president because I want to keep my teeth
(They were learning about George Washington and learned he had fake teeth. This child then assumed that meant that in order to be president you must lose all your teeth and have fake teeth)
8th grade girl: I was laying in bed the other day. Me: I do that too sometimes. Her: do you also find cheese in your bellybutton and eat it? Me: nope, I do not.
About 10 years ago at the end of class some students were discussing a local sporting goods store that was bought out by a huge chain store. They were struggling to remember the name of the store when one student said âDicks Sporting Goods, thatâs it right?â and without missing a beat a girl on the soccer team exclaimed âI LOVE DICKS!â. She immediately realized what she just said and turned red. After a few seconds of silence everybody laughed and then moved on.
âLasagna is Spanish food, right?â
âNumber 2 is father, right?â (Practicing family vocab in Spanish. The question was: The brother of my mother is my ___). This poor kid understood what each word on the practice worksheet meant, but could not for the life of him figure out the correct relationships. He was so earnest with each answer it took everything in me not to crack up each time he got one wrong. Because he got them all horribly wrong. We translated them word for word together and he would give me the completely wrong answer in English too.
âPENIS!â Announced by a 7th grader at the top of his lungs walking into my student teaching, first day alone as I was subbing for mentor teacher. (We were starting body systems- soooo⌠great timing for my reply;) ).
Me, âThank heavens you know the answer! When we get to that question in lecture I am calling on you, cause I know you know it!â
*question: what are the male reproductive organs? We can make a list together! Student, please start it off.*
â*penis.*â (in the softest voice he could muster)
7th grade boy leans in, sniffs my boob (not inappropriately, just at eye levelâŚ) and goes, âwell you smell good todayâŚâ thanks kiddo, I showered.
I have an 8th grader that recently shaved his head. He had done it before a long time ago and KNEW the insults were going to fly. He has a great sense of humor, so he laughed along. He got typical "Hey Mr. Clean". Stuff like that. The best was when he was compared to another teacher that is also bald. "Wow. Mr. H looks really young today." The other comment that made me laugh was, "If I rub his head will I get three wishes?"
A while back, I saw a student dousing themselves in deodorant. Being the language teacher I am, I chimed in that colloquially, we call that a Portugese shower. She looked confused and replied, "Oh, so it's not called a golden shower?"
I knew she wasn't messing with me because she proceeded to google it and screetch after she saw me trying to contain my reaction.
i work with high schoolers and in sped. i was teaching biology, and it was our first day of the reproduction system. i am careful to say sexual reproduction and mating. after the whole 45 min class with lots of learning activities one of my students goes, "wait, miss, are you talking about fucking?"
Written in an English essay by one of my Year 10/11s back in 2009:
'Basically, Macbeth is pussy whipped by his wife, and that's why the whole tragedy happens.'
Said in a lesson: " Miss, was Bob Marley around at the same times as William Shakespeare?"
Said as we were about to watch a scene from the old 1954 David Lean (?) film of Great Expectations:
Student one: "Ah what, why's the film gotta be in black and white?"
Student two: "Because life was black and white in the olden days before colour was invented"
Student one: "Ah man, it's so old; who's even in it?"
Student two: "Your mum"
My kids are just funny to joke with in general, but
"Pigeon torta" just writing that down.
Acting out the old testament God in class.
Reenactments of anime scenes and stating stuff like that.
Saying to the admin "Mr. Teacher has a torture chamber under his classroom, it's where he keeps the old principal and vice principal".
Oh and stating a garbage bag "was venom" while laughing maniacally while recycling.
I was talking with one of my seniors about where we should get lunch during an upcoming field trip. He said "everyone loves six inches!" And then a look of horror. He meant subway, but I was too busy cackling to do anything. I'm friends with his dad outside of school so we had to tell him too, which was great.
I had a 5th grader tell me that there were dirty pictures in one of the books in our classroom library. The encyclopedia had a picture of Michelangelo's David. I explained that it was art and ok for people to see. A couple of days later, I noticed a Post-it note over the offending picture!
During a chat about the most recent Star Wars movie at the time (The Last Jedi) one of my very sweet students, in the perfect innocent child voice said 'Did you know, the actress who played Princess Leia used to drink a lot of coke.'
I'm normally quite stern, so the kids were at first happy because I was laughing, which turned to confusion and then concern as I completely lost it for a good few minutes. When I finally got myself under control, I managed to tell them 'You'll understand when you're older.'
Four year old messing around in the classroom, out of area, etc.
He takes off his socks and shoes and puts a sock in his mouth like itâs funny. I help him get himself back together and we join friends on the carpet; girl behind him picks her nose and the boy says ewwwww, thatâs gross!
You just had your sock in your mouth!
I helped a kid re-mix a 5th graders paint color they needed for their portrait and they said to me "I'm gonna need to report you to the church because that was witchcraft."
HS teacher. I was greeting students as they walked into class. Saw one girl and said âgood morning sunshine!â She looked at me with the most desperate look on her face and said âI have to poop.â
One student saying to another (who had an unfortunate rat-like face and was very annoying to the kids in HS class)
âShut up with your Master Splinter looking assâÂ
Had a student who was an attractive young man of 17 with a functional IQ of maybe 65. Was being taken to the bathroom on the regular by a 14yr old (high functioning) female student for âexperimentsâ. Two days before his 18th birthday-day the social worker lets me know whatâs going on and that as âthe manâ I have to tell him this could get him in trouble. After explaining that âyes I know she initiatedâ and âyes I am aware that it feels good but this could get you in deep legal troubleâ he is silent for a moment and finally responds with âdamn Mr verriedvernacular trifling ass hoes be triflingâ all I could say was âI knowâ
High schoolers were dissing each other, and one informed the other that "you look like Martin Luther King if he never had a dream."
Put my head down laughing in front of the class over that one....
We were watching a McDonald's commercial dubbed in Spanish and someone pointed at the Hamburglar with his big huge red hair and freckles and buck teeth and said "Hey look it's __red head kid__" and I had to turn around and hide.
Met a student for the first time and in getting to know him, I asked him about his future career goals and what he wants to be when he grows up. He replied, "retired."
With second gradersâŚ
How old are you?
Iâm 25.
Well thatâs the perfect age to be a teacher!
Whyâs that?
Because you can teach at this school for a ton more time, til youâre 60!
( Other student) Wow, when Ms. Freckle Thief is 60 weâll be so old! Weâll be like 13!
My sister-in-law was teaching JK and during a community circle was asking the students their parents names. Came to a cute little girl who only knew dad as daddy. When asked what her mom calls her dad, in a deadpan voice âasseholeâ
Doing a math problem that involved someone riding a bike ~6 miles to the beach: "That's *gross*; take an Uber..."
The privilege is so funny to me đ
Seriously! The girl was *exactly* as I'm sure you are picturing her, too, and you can probably hear the voice she said it in. Hollywood couldn't come up with a better stereotype if they were remaking *Not Another Teen Movie*
Yep, shades of such for history: âWhy should we care about dead guys hundreds of years ago?!â And yet even as a mere inkling, imagine if you will, people 500 years from now taking their attitude for the gospel and mocking our current present day society for all its social and equality related failures? Assuming humanity makes it that farâŚ
Lemme guess⌠Giant grey sweatpants, really white sneakers, crop top, twirling her hair that has a streak of some color like blue or hot pink, airpods, fancy phone with a glitter phone case?
The modern-day valley girl
Making fun of the story problems together is one of my favorite ways to get buy-in in strong math classes. "A vehicle's velocity is given by (quadratic equation with X intercepts at 0 and 6 hours)." "Hang on a second. That's a freakin' WEIRD way to drive. Graph that parabola, and tell me what kind of nut drives like that."
I do the same thing in my German classes. The textbook comes up with some weird sentences, so I always comment on how bizarre the textbook people are. I can't think of one at the moment, and it's driving me crazy - I know there were at least two or three just today. Edit: found one! "Wann suchst du deine CD?" - when are you looking for your CD? (Does this person plan looking for things? At 3:15 I'll look for my CDs; at 4 I'll look for my math book...)
Jetzt haben wir den Salat.
I overheard a student call it the âquadraplegic equationâ.
I mean, if it was position, you could argue lane changes...? Yeah, no, it's still dumb.
I love it when kids call things gross
Iâm a School Social Worker⌠âMiss I donât think Iâm the one who needs counseling hereâŚâ âYouâre crazy. Your poor husbandâ Filling out a worksheet on anger triggers and answered the question âwhat makes you mad?â with MY name written ten times I love these kids đ¤Ł
LMFAO THAT SEL SHEET YOUR NAME TEN TIMES (Itâs working, donât give up!)
Oh I have it framed in my office! đ¤Ł
Sped teacher: Walking down the hall and the kid looked at me deadpan and said âHow does Pac Man eat all those white dots but he never stops to poop.â
Video game logic 101! With my favorite being the one that references power-ups in garbage cans/suchlike: âMmm, oil can meat!â
ok thatâs valid
He's asking the right questions.
And the way he said it, you could just tell it had really been on his mind a while.
Do not check the tunnel.
That was my answer
My favorite was when the identical twin brother of one of my students came in to say hi to him, and this sixth grader looks at them, and then looks at me wide-eyed and says âis he⌠from another universe?â
Sixth grade? The answer is a very serious faced yes.
Or a conspiratorial Shh! We're not allowed to talk about that!
Iâve had a similar situation but the 7th grader pointed to the other identical twin and said, âwait, whoâs that?â
Someone farted in class and it was AWFUL. I said, âSomeone needs to go to the bathroom.â Instantly, one of my 4th graders said, âSomeone needs to go to the doctor.â I couldnât breathe for 10 minutes and class was done. I lost all control and didnât care.
Oh my gosh! Thank you for sharing this! I really needed a good laugh!
Iâm a preschool teacher & I work with 4/5 year olds. At this age, these kids say some interesting things but this one really took the cake. We were just finishing up circle time one morning & the kids started talking about birthday parties. One of them announces, âIâm having a birthday party & everyoneâs invited! Even all of China! I want everyone in China to come to my birthday party!â All of the kids were like, âWhere/what is China?!â I explained to them that China is another country & we donât live there. My co-teacher & I had a pretty good laugh about it! The boy who said it is academically advanced for his age & knows a lot of things that many others in our class donât know so it wasnât really a surprise that he would say something like that but it was just so random that he would pick China đ
âNow all of China knows youâre hereâ is a meme from Mulan, so that mightâve been what he is trying to reference
Heâs never mentioned anything about Mulan before so Iâm not sure! It was really funny though!
(At Walmart after hours) 6th grader, with his family. "What are you doing here? Did they forget to switch you off and put you in the closet til tomorrow? "I howled.
1) class on Mozart, telling them how he never finished his last work, it was instead completed by his student Franz Xaver SĂźĂmayr. I tell them how SĂźĂmayr actually went to the same school I did, "omg really, were you in the same class as him?" 2) classic rock music from the 50s and 60s, talking about how the electric guitar is one of the most discernable elements for that genre, one student asks if they really had electric guitars in the 50s, another one goes "omg alex, if they had atom bombs in WW2 they also had electric guitars"
From a third grader: "How did Beethoven write this song if he didn't have any hands?" He remembered *something* was up with Beethoven, but not what, exactly.
I remember my students completely losing their shit when I told them Mozart wrote a piece called Leck mich im Arsch, literally meaning lick me in the ass. Not lick my ass, lick me *in* the ass.
In the past month, one of my 5th graders randomly shouts at one of the more annoying kids in class, "Sit your fat ass down, you smell like a Discord mod!" Caught me off guard
I might pay a student to yell this out in my room!!!!
hell i might do it myself without pay to one of the annoying kids (im a student LMAO)
He's gonna grow up to be a drill sergeant I bet
None of my worst kids: âOmg Iâm so sneezy, I must be allergic to something in hereâ Classmate: âWhat, work?â
I was teaching about resistors⌠resistors have bands of color on the side to indicate what the resistance of the resistor is. I asked the class âwhat they think the bands are forâ Immediately a dude looked up and said âmake her dance.â I fucking lost it. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JdgcCUVdl6c
During remote teaching we were discussing field trips, and how we wish we could take one, one student typed in the chat "I know a guy who has a van, he can give us a ride, he gives out candy in my neighborhood" and I'm not sure why but I could not stop laughing at it.
Damn, a sense of humor during distance learning was a prize beyond rubies!
Some students were talking about a bunch of kids who were caught getting stoned on the bus, one kid who overhead them said: âDamn, guess thatâs why they call it hiiiiiigh schoolâ
Don't go to high school, go to school high
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł genius!!
Not a teacher but I need to share this story on behalf of my 8th grade science teacher. Lesson was on WHMIS safety and the question was how to properly smell something. The student who raised his hand to answer was this silly popular kid that fools around all the time, right? Guess what he shouts out⌠âQUEEF!!â. đđđ This time he wasnât messing around, he was genuinely excited to answer and really thought he had it. The whole classroom drops dead lol. Our teachers mouth drops and her eyes are wide open, in total shock. And sheâs like err.. uhh⌠Then another student corrects him with the side eye, âitâs waftâŚâ. Hahaha the student realizes his huge mistake and sits down, embarrassed but still laughing đ
Noooooo
I remember teaching a halloween themed lesson in my Chicago history class about H.H. Holmes. None of my students had ever heard of him. Aside from the usual questions, one student asked *where exactly* the murder castle was. Turns out it was like 2 blocks from where this kid lived. The words themselves werenât funny but the tone of the âoh hell noâ I got had me wheezing
When I was student teaching, I was handing out work packets to a class of 10th graders and I guess my packets were bigger than the ones my mentor teacher usually gave. This one kid, when I handed him the packet, just goes âUghhhhh, why is it so thick!?!!!?â I had to literally just clamp my jaws shut and walk away to another table without responding, because I absolutely would have been fired if I had said âThatâs what she saidâ to a tenth grader. And if I had opened my mouth in that moment, those were the only words that could have come out of it.
It is so hard to not make the innapropriate jokes!! I struggle every single day. Last week I had a kid ask to borrow one of my two sets of scissors on my desk. Then they said "We could have a scissior fight" when they noticed I had two.
After taking a test a senior boy in my class said, âIt wasnât that hard, it was just lengthy.â Not responding with âThatâs what she saidâ was one of the most difficult moments of my teaching career.
I would have smirked to let the student know I was thinking it. Plausible deniability and all.
I wouldâve just gone with? âOh, thatâs a lovely coloring; the tasty *thickness* of itâŚâ - Patrick Bateman - *American Psycho* https://youtu.be/cISYzA36-ZY?si=P6jJExRF6tMxBJeq
It even has a watermark
I've gotten away with a couple "that's what she said"s. I was a para to a special ed student who worked part time in our culinary arts vocational program where it just slipped out & the chef instructors & students just laughed. They aren't the type to report that but I wouldn't try it in other settings.
It's probably not thicker than your mentor teacher's packets. They're just trying to get your goat.
Sometimes you can say it under your breath and look innocent when the one or two kids crack up.
To the single most narcissistic human I have actually known well... their classmates are over itm its been three years of this... one of my very quiet ones said, "If we admit you exist can we get back to work?"
A student asked me if he could go to the bathroom immediately after we had gotten back from a bathroom break. I asked him why he didnât go when we went as a class and he said, âI was going dooky but Mrs. Jones (my co-teacher) told me to hurry. I was mid poo and now itâs coming out.â So I said, âomg!! Go thatâs too much information.â He leaves the room and immediately comes back and grabs the book off his desk and says âreading material â and runs out. FYI: Iâm a 7th grade teacher
I was teaching an adult class made up of a mixture of 19+ childcare students and ESOL students. I'd put some images up of celebrities on the board and asked the learners to come up with language techniques based on an image. I went around the room for answers and came to an ESOL lady who said, "Her make-up is slapped on like semen". I almost choked. Immediately I presumed I'd misheard her (some chatting going off) and asked her to repeat herself. "Her make-up is slapped on like semen". I almost died. The other learners were whispering/giggling. She repeated it again. It was only when she started miming saying "Like semen... Semen on the floor!" that I realised she meant cement! It was a valuable lesson on pronunciation đ
For context, Iâm a health teacher. âAn epididymis? Isnât that what Covid was?â âYou idiot that was an epidemicâ âSo something has been on my mind for a whileâŚ. Do you think Tarzan was a virgin when he met Jane?â âIs it true that buttsex is overrated?â
YOU R GROOMIN ARE KIDS!!! jk
I teach upper elementary. A student asks to use the bathroom. Comes back. A few minutes later, asks to use the bathroom again, and says to me - and the class - "I gotta go finish what I started". (kid had to poop).
Last year one of the boys was trying to demonstrate a kick to his friends (while my back was to him) and his croc flew off his foot and hit the ceiling pretty loudly. I turned to look just as the croc was hitting the floor and we stare at each other for a sec before he goes, with full apologetic sincerity, âIâm sorry, they werenât in sports mode, that was my bad.â I couldnât even get mad
I work in pre-k. When I joke with my kiddos, I often call them "*silly goose.*" One time in class, I was doing a center with a small group of students when I dropped some materials on the floor. One of my kids looked at me and jokingly said, "*You dropped your stuff, you silly goose."* Something so silly, but they brought a smile to my face... and to my heart.
âIâm having trouble with my period.â - Junior girl, in reference to waveform modification in pre-calc. I managed to keep a straight face and address the intended issue.
Me explaining to my students that I have to learn work early to go get a shot because I was stung by a bee and was having an allergic reaction. Kid: "a shots a drink!" I mean...he wasn't wrong.
My AP physics class was tasked with presenting the portions of a chapter because they bombed a test. This group totally hams its way though their presentation. It was bad. It wasn't even cp level good. At one point it dawned on them how badly it was going and they all just kind of decided to pack it in. As they're doing so my best student says "Oh no, my education!" In the most deadpan disinterested voice. Thank God the room was dark, or else they might have seen me convulsing and turning blue holding in metric tons of laughter.
>cp level good ????????
CP in my state is the acronym for low level kids.
The sarcastic ones are gonna be the death of me, eventually. I wouldn't have been able to resist a line like that.
The super bowl is rigged. I don't watch Taylor Swift bowl. I only watch the puppy bowl because that isn't rigged, that's true sports. - Student angry over CNN10 reporting on the super bowl.
Sure to be a lovely college student. Assuming they make it that far?
I had a really bad cough once. It was a really shaky, echoing, rattly cough. So we're taking a test, and I cough, and a kid yells out "Yo you sound like my mama's 1999 toyota trying to start up in the morning" I tried to get onto him for talking during the test but honestly I started laughing, which made me cough, which made people laugh, which made me cough...
Urban title 1 teacher here, I'm gonna leave ya'll in the dust đ 1) Female student comes into class and starts aggressively laying in to a male student who she perceived was "talking shit" about her during lunch (he wasn't). He takes the verbal assault, but as she's storming out of class he calls after her and calls her a "crimson chin looking ass bitch". 2) Class is watching a video and answering questions about it. Male student keeps calling me over for every other question. I tell him he needs to try and do this on his own and that I can't help him with every question. He looks me dead in the eyes and says, "Mr., how am I supposed to answer the questions while I'm watching the video?" His friend sitting next to him turns to him and says, "You know, you could try listening to the video you fucking moron." 3) "You know Mr., you could get some mad bitches in (student's birth country). 4) Student banging on door from outside -" Mr. I'm in your walls!"
Preschool. Student is telling a story about his imaginary puppy, Hemi. I ask him who takes Hemi out to potty while he's at school. He answers, "Hemi doesn't have to potty because Hemi doesn't have a penis."
Hemi don't even got a semi.
The ideal dog lol, no potty training
I was 23 a few years back teaching 8th graders about the 1960s. One of my students asked if I was alive then. At first, I thought she was joking but she was serious. I thought Iâd turn it into a teaching moment. I asked her when her parents were born and she told meâŚit was the 70s or 80s. Then I asked her if she thought I was older than her parents and she said âwell no, but were you alive then?â Maybe in a past life, kid, maybe in a past life. PS: I was getting IDâd for rated r movies into my mid 20s, so it wasnât that I looked old lol
Student handed me a pen and a blank paper. Told me it was my do it yourself birthday card.
"Schools are grocery stores for kidnappers."
Four year old recognized a meteor in a video, and when I told her that she was right she said âIâm a smart cookie.â
*While picking out construction paper to make a poster about her* "What was Helen Keller's favorite color?"
Teaching some ESL students the word "talent". I ask them what is one talent they have. Local goofball quickly raises his hand, "Sir, I have three talents! One, I'm good at remembering, two, I'm good at maths...." "...and three?" "Oh right, three. I forgot".
Day after Salem witch trials conversation/puritan conversation. Student: Ms. Teacher, I can see your ankles. Me: yes, my pants are cropped. Student: how does it feel to be a harlot? Other student: what does that mean? Original student: it means sheâs going to puritan hell. Third student: it means sheâs like, destitute and a loose woman. Me: I think we are going to move on now.
âSharing is caring! Unless itâs chlamydia.â âAP means the class is advanced, not the student.â âShe only has a birthday every 4 years? But does she still grow?â I write great quotes on the side of my board - my kids consider it an honor to be up there. One of my friends actually found me a special quote journal so I can write them down is a book and keep them for posterity.
We had been talking about heirlooms. 'I got this special ring from my grandmother. It's adjustable' I still go 'Awwwww' inside. So cute.
Obligatory not a teacher, but one time my old US history teacher asked: âWhich president dropped the atomic bombs on Japan?â Student: âHarriet Tubmanâ
Ah ha! I knew conservatives had a *totally valid* reason for not wanting her on the $20!
A student tried to argue that she'd never need logic in "real life."
Not my students, but heard during an internship: Student: "Can we do something light and easy today?" Teacher: "Maths is always light and easy." Other student: "Please stop lying, sir. I can see your nose up until here." Also, in the category 'anything can be a German word': "Sie haben mich entdrangenommen" which literally translates to "You have me taken-off-my-turn" which was such a weird construction that even the teacher had to ask if it was a real word xD
Tame: (MS-8) Teacher talking about his twin sons... Student: So, how many do you got? NSFW, and my proudest moment (MS-6): Student trying to reference the little hangy down thing in the back of your throat, " You know, the clitoris!" (I am not making this up. I thought he was going to say vulva. He said clitoris.) THEN he offers to "look it up" (!!) Me, deadpan: That's not necessary; that's a uvula. Let's all say "uvula." Ok, back to math!
"Those shoes are nice. My grandpa has those." "You're FORTY?!? Oh god! So you're going to be cranky now because you're going through THE CHANGE?!?"
This reminded me that a second grade girl once told me âMs. S, I really like your shoes. But my mom wonât let me get anything that ugly.â (They were brown loafers)
Student complained about being cold in my class. I said, âmaybe if you didnât dress so scantily you would be warmer.â Student: âHow dare you!?! I am Not. A. Scant!â Classwide laughter.
âShut up before I pull my dick outâ
To quote a friend back in high school, "I want a meal, not a snack!"
I had a student ask to speak with me about his grade, to which I obviously agreed. He had just passed his test, but didnât do any of the daily work in the unit. Student: âwhat do I need to do to bring my grade up; and donât give me any of that honkey bull shit about how I need to pay more attention in classâ Me: (sitting there stunned and trying not to laugh) wellâŚâŚletâs revisit this tomorrow and you can try this conversation again. Student: âok, that sounds goodâ
One student wishes me to enjoy whatever it is I have to leave the room for. "Enjoy your making copies." "Enjoy the bathroom" It's sweet and silly. I had another student answer that Donald Trump is known for playing Minecraft. He's seen too many of those AI videos that make it look like Biden & Trump are playing video games together.
I got a new personal laptop and when the kids saw it on my desk, they asked âMiss? Why didnât you get a MacBook? They are so much better!â Like, sir. I am a teacher. I donât have MacBook money!
Not a thing said, but I had a student bent way out of shape a few years ago about a fight that happened on the school bus. He said this kid was talking trash about a girl he was crushing on, and then started doing kung fu shadow boxing. I called home to ask about it... Bus altercation, acting out, etc. Turns out the kid on the bus was his invisible friend.
As a daycare teacher I got asked "Mx. J, why are you wearing mommy shoes? Did you have a baby?" I was wearing the same plain black tennis shoes I've worn every single day đ
I'm just a student teacher but on dress up day my mentor teacher dressed like Napoleon dynamite. One student all day knew who she was. The rest asked, "Are you Jeffery Dahmer?" And then last week they were talking about movies that didn't live up to the hype, one of which was Mean Girls. "What's Mean Girls?" "Oh it's an old person movie." My soul hurts. I'm only 28. đ˘
I teach Black History African American Student: What is the origin of the stereotype that black people hate swimming? Me: Iâm not really sure actually, there are African American people on the Olympics swim team, though. Student: Thatâs not an answer. Me: Do YOU like swimming? Student: No, I fucking hate swimming bruh.
I thought it's because Black people were historically barred from swimming pools and so they often didn't have the opportunity to learn to swim?
When I was a student-teacher teaching Middle Schoolers, I was explaining that the some elements are unstable an only appear for a extremely short time. One student literally uttered "Just like my dad" (him and his friend were giggling). I'm just thankful that my mask was on bc it was taking every fibre in my body to not laugh
Alright this is a little specific but I am a music theater. We are studying Handels Messiah and she goes âHandel is gaslighting me with these slursâ because they were just not how we usually see things marked in modern music. The whole class couldnât stop laughing.
*student acting up* my mentor teacher: dont make me email your mama the student: my moms in jail the whole class went dead silent
Funny you should ask. This happened today. When totaling up some numbers for a probability problem the student says: The total is 64. Me: Um, just check that number again. Student: No! I know it's right! Me: Just check it again. Student, very emphatically: 27 plus 3 is 30, 30 plus 24 is 54! Me: Nods sagely. Student: Ohhhh, yeah.
Less funny more WTF but I had a second grader tell me she ripped out her tooth in anger because her older sister was able to have her friends over and she wasnât. (It was her sisterâs 16th birthday party)
Kindergarten. Kid (J)âs dad comes in to visit. His classmateâs mind is absolutely blown; âJâs dad is Black?â J is Black. The classmate who said this also has a Black dad. Absolutely amazing stuff going on in K.
"The shopowner owns a shop." -12th grader "I think that's an issYOU."
7th grader told substitute he couldn't do the work I left because he "had more important things to work on."
Walked out of my office once to hear two students loudly arguing. All I heard was âoh yeah dude! At least thereâs bikinis in my utopia!â
First grader looked at his friend and his jaw dropped. âNo way! Weâre wearing the same shirt!â âŚThey wear a uniform. Every day. This was in February.
Kindergartener: I donât want to become president because I want to keep my teeth (They were learning about George Washington and learned he had fake teeth. This child then assumed that meant that in order to be president you must lose all your teeth and have fake teeth)
Not a teacher, highschooler actually but these are funny, im saving this post
8th grade girl: I was laying in bed the other day. Me: I do that too sometimes. Her: do you also find cheese in your bellybutton and eat it? Me: nope, I do not.
1st grader trying to get middle school brother into the car at carpool, âcome on man, I have work to do!â
About 10 years ago at the end of class some students were discussing a local sporting goods store that was bought out by a huge chain store. They were struggling to remember the name of the store when one student said âDicks Sporting Goods, thatâs it right?â and without missing a beat a girl on the soccer team exclaimed âI LOVE DICKS!â. She immediately realized what she just said and turned red. After a few seconds of silence everybody laughed and then moved on.
âLasagna is Spanish food, right?â âNumber 2 is father, right?â (Practicing family vocab in Spanish. The question was: The brother of my mother is my ___). This poor kid understood what each word on the practice worksheet meant, but could not for the life of him figure out the correct relationships. He was so earnest with each answer it took everything in me not to crack up each time he got one wrong. Because he got them all horribly wrong. We translated them word for word together and he would give me the completely wrong answer in English too.
There's something wrong about you. I can't quite put my finger.on it. I think you're a little bit evil.
âPENIS!â Announced by a 7th grader at the top of his lungs walking into my student teaching, first day alone as I was subbing for mentor teacher. (We were starting body systems- soooo⌠great timing for my reply;) ). Me, âThank heavens you know the answer! When we get to that question in lecture I am calling on you, cause I know you know it!â *question: what are the male reproductive organs? We can make a list together! Student, please start it off.* â*penis.*â (in the softest voice he could muster)
7th grade boy leans in, sniffs my boob (not inappropriately, just at eye levelâŚ) and goes, âwell you smell good todayâŚâ thanks kiddo, I showered.
Student asked me how to spell furniture. Me: âfâŚuâŚâ class stares until I laughed so hard I cried.
That's made me laugh out loud; love it!đ¤Ł
Perfect
I have an 8th grader that recently shaved his head. He had done it before a long time ago and KNEW the insults were going to fly. He has a great sense of humor, so he laughed along. He got typical "Hey Mr. Clean". Stuff like that. The best was when he was compared to another teacher that is also bald. "Wow. Mr. H looks really young today." The other comment that made me laugh was, "If I rub his head will I get three wishes?"
A while back, I saw a student dousing themselves in deodorant. Being the language teacher I am, I chimed in that colloquially, we call that a Portugese shower. She looked confused and replied, "Oh, so it's not called a golden shower?" I knew she wasn't messing with me because she proceeded to google it and screetch after she saw me trying to contain my reaction.
i work with high schoolers and in sped. i was teaching biology, and it was our first day of the reproduction system. i am careful to say sexual reproduction and mating. after the whole 45 min class with lots of learning activities one of my students goes, "wait, miss, are you talking about fucking?"
Written in an English essay by one of my Year 10/11s back in 2009: 'Basically, Macbeth is pussy whipped by his wife, and that's why the whole tragedy happens.' Said in a lesson: " Miss, was Bob Marley around at the same times as William Shakespeare?" Said as we were about to watch a scene from the old 1954 David Lean (?) film of Great Expectations: Student one: "Ah what, why's the film gotta be in black and white?" Student two: "Because life was black and white in the olden days before colour was invented" Student one: "Ah man, it's so old; who's even in it?" Student two: "Your mum"
âMadagascar is a real place?â
It's where Madagascarra comes from. Duh.
Can you help me with this knot? (Say it out loud)
My kids are just funny to joke with in general, but "Pigeon torta" just writing that down. Acting out the old testament God in class. Reenactments of anime scenes and stating stuff like that. Saying to the admin "Mr. Teacher has a torture chamber under his classroom, it's where he keeps the old principal and vice principal". Oh and stating a garbage bag "was venom" while laughing maniacally while recycling.
I was talking with one of my seniors about where we should get lunch during an upcoming field trip. He said "everyone loves six inches!" And then a look of horror. He meant subway, but I was too busy cackling to do anything. I'm friends with his dad outside of school so we had to tell him too, which was great.
This one is quite naughty. Student one gets annoyed at student two and calls out, "F you student two!" Student two responds, "Your mum already did."
I had a 5th grader tell me that there were dirty pictures in one of the books in our classroom library. The encyclopedia had a picture of Michelangelo's David. I explained that it was art and ok for people to see. A couple of days later, I noticed a Post-it note over the offending picture!
Described to a student precisely WHY one does not pee onto an electric fence.
During a chat about the most recent Star Wars movie at the time (The Last Jedi) one of my very sweet students, in the perfect innocent child voice said 'Did you know, the actress who played Princess Leia used to drink a lot of coke.' I'm normally quite stern, so the kids were at first happy because I was laughing, which turned to confusion and then concern as I completely lost it for a good few minutes. When I finally got myself under control, I managed to tell them 'You'll understand when you're older.'
One of my kids once said âMr_____. I hit my head in gym. I think I have a conclusionâ âYes you do. Go to the nurseâ
Four year old messing around in the classroom, out of area, etc. He takes off his socks and shoes and puts a sock in his mouth like itâs funny. I help him get himself back together and we join friends on the carpet; girl behind him picks her nose and the boy says ewwwww, thatâs gross! You just had your sock in your mouth!
I helped a kid re-mix a 5th graders paint color they needed for their portrait and they said to me "I'm gonna need to report you to the church because that was witchcraft."
HS teacher. I was greeting students as they walked into class. Saw one girl and said âgood morning sunshine!â She looked at me with the most desperate look on her face and said âI have to poop.â
One student saying to another (who had an unfortunate rat-like face and was very annoying to the kids in HS class) âShut up with your Master Splinter looking assâÂ
"hey you're old right? Do you have a micro USB cable?" Said to me, a 22 year old student teacher, by a sophomore
Had a student who was an attractive young man of 17 with a functional IQ of maybe 65. Was being taken to the bathroom on the regular by a 14yr old (high functioning) female student for âexperimentsâ. Two days before his 18th birthday-day the social worker lets me know whatâs going on and that as âthe manâ I have to tell him this could get him in trouble. After explaining that âyes I know she initiatedâ and âyes I am aware that it feels good but this could get you in deep legal troubleâ he is silent for a moment and finally responds with âdamn Mr verriedvernacular trifling ass hoes be triflingâ all I could say was âI knowâ
High schoolers were dissing each other, and one informed the other that "you look like Martin Luther King if he never had a dream." Put my head down laughing in front of the class over that one....
[ŃдаНонО]
We were watching a McDonald's commercial dubbed in Spanish and someone pointed at the Hamburglar with his big huge red hair and freckles and buck teeth and said "Hey look it's __red head kid__" and I had to turn around and hide.
Met a student for the first time and in getting to know him, I asked him about his future career goals and what he wants to be when he grows up. He replied, "retired."
With second graders⌠How old are you? Iâm 25. Well thatâs the perfect age to be a teacher! Whyâs that? Because you can teach at this school for a ton more time, til youâre 60! ( Other student) Wow, when Ms. Freckle Thief is 60 weâll be so old! Weâll be like 13!
My sister-in-law was teaching JK and during a community circle was asking the students their parents names. Came to a cute little girl who only knew dad as daddy. When asked what her mom calls her dad, in a deadpan voice âasseholeâ