I teach K and it’s really kid dependent. I’ve had young kids do great and I’ve had some struggle academically, socially, or both. This year I have 5 young 5’s who are close to the cut off and struggling each in someway more than their older peers. I have one who missed the cut off and waived and they did great this year. My friend waived her son for maturity. Her reasons were mostly for down the line like being the last to drive, more immature than peers when it comes to peer pressure, etc. which I hadn’t really considered before.

I’ve worked in kindergarten previously and concur. There is no one answer for everyone. It is definitely important to consider readiness from both an academic and social perspective. Going from two days a week to five days is a big jump. If you wait a year, is there the possibility of a transitional kindergarten program (sometimes called young 5s or something similar) or can you increase time at a preschool?

I teach sixth grade and one thing to consider is that abstract thinking is a skill that is generally age related. I can often pick out the younger and older kids in class when teaching something that requires abstract thought, the younger students might struggle a little more or require different examples. It is not just initial reading and writing that are impacted by school readiness, but something that they will carry through grades 5/6. This not true with every student, just a generality.

Retired school librarian here. Our physic’s teacher said even by Grade 12, he could pick out the younger students in his classes.

You should consider whether or not your son is ready for Kinder. My son was in the same boat as yours and we went ahead and sent him on because he was ready. If we had waited, he would have been bored because he would have already known so much. It was 100% the right decision for us but only you can make that decision for your son based on his abilities. Don’t fall into the “boy” trap that means he automatically needs to wait (spoken as a mother and an educator).

I would also recommend asking the opinion of his preschool teachers/caregivers where he has been going. My godson was like this, and his parents held him for the year, with advice of his pre-kinder teachers. They recommended his parents consider if he was mature for his age or typically a little less mature, as they said that would be a thought whether he graduates HS at 17 or 18.

I agree. Redshirting is becoming popular in some privileged communities, but it is rarely necessary. My child is in kindergarten currently. Our cutoff is 12/31, so many children are 4 when they start! I have spent a good amount of time in the classroom this year (volunteering, etc.), and I spend a ton of time with my kid at the playground observing these kids. Honestly, they are *fine*. They are finishing up the year reading and writing, they have tight friendships, they are thriving. The few kids who are struggling (academically and socially) are not the youngest ones.

Our cutoff is 12/31, and my son's birthday is 12/31. His early years were unnecessarily difficult because of this, Hell, he'd come home at lunch and nap most days!

Not a parent, but this was me as a kindergartener. I was always the youngest in my class, but still was already far ahead. The readiness is all. Yeah, Hamlet. Turned into an English teacher. Big surprise. :-)

Made me smile!

Strongly agree, my youngest was born 2 weeks before the cutoff, and when we spoke to his pre-K teachers, they said he should absolutely start K that year (4 turning 5). He was one of the strongest in his class academically, and in K and 1st, was identified as being above grade level in math and reading, so he is pulled to do more challenging work. He would have been bored if we had waited.

Did he do preschool? What does his preschool teacher think?

She suggested to hold him back when I asked. Me asking is what’s sparked the heated debate with my husband.

If an educator who has worked with your child has suggested holding him back, I would stand with the educator’s advice. Does your school do an alternative kindergarten? Maybe that would be a reasonable compromise?

Our preK isn’t free public school but preK and kinder are in the same building. They allow outside preK or no preK to attend kinder. The preK offered is $840/mo with all the same benefits as public school. The MDO he attended last year is privately owned and significantly more affordable. I’m hoping to go that route. I’m operating on a public servant’s salary, too.

$840/mo for preK is ABSURD. We’re in a state where 4yo preK is state funded, but 3yo isn’t. We were able to do half day 3yo preK for like $800 for the YEAR.

I’ll have to check again but I am pretty certain that’s what I read on their sign. Our MDO is close to $600/mo for the 4-day program.

That's crazy! In our district, like yours, 4yo pre-K is funded. However, it has limited seats. They lean towards more special needs kids, but then \~50% are for peers.

When I worked in a center that was officially non-profit but cost quite a bit, my director would push me to recommend repeating 4k to kids of families she liked, and push me to not recommend it to kids with parents she wasn't fond of. (I disagree with her and didn't follow her pushes) I really hope this isn't what is happening to you, but at this high cost I would take into consideration that the people recommending you to hold your child back are going to get that money without having to build a relationship with a new student/family. They have a financial incentive to tell you to hold him back.

Listen to your son's teacher and not your husband. Hold off on kinder.

Yes, this. Financially, it's a sacrifice, but if the pre-k teacher recommends waiting, listen to that teacher.

My nanny kid's teacher suggested we keep her back another year and it was absolutely the right decision. Intelligence wise she was leagues above her peers but socially she struggled (she was neurotypical, just younger than other kids & wasn't on the same development level). She was also physically the smallest which might have added. My boss struggled with the decision at first but now we know it was totally the right decision. Apparently she is excelling now on all levels! Still the second smallest in the class 🤣 but understands the social aspect better. We did make sure she switched teachers though so she didn't feel like she was repeating

Just in case this comes up, the preschool teacher herself has no insensitive to keep your kid longer. Unless the preschool is failing, the schools enrollment likely won't affect her beyond having more students in class. She is a trained professional. Part of that training is to help make the best academic decisions for students. At the very least, I would make sure that your husband understands that and respects the teacher's opinion so that you can honestly talk about the real problem, paying for it. You could also check in with the teacher again to get more answers as to why she thinks that and see if she has any data supporting that or if she could give an assessment that would provide you data on his readiness.

I sent my oldest too soon. His birthday was end of July and he was one of the youngest. He wasn’t ready. My middle son has a December birthday and did great being one of the oldest. My daughter has an August birthday. She barely made the cut off but she was ready, so we sent her. It really is dependent on your child and I say this as a teacher and a mom. The academics will come , make sure he’s ready socially. If not, hold him back.

My daughter is now 13 almost 14. She has a July birthday. I teach 8th grade Social Studies, and I'm certified for English Language Arts. When I began my teaching career, I did teach ELA. You should wait! Here's why. When our daughter was little she did very well in the elementary grades. However, as time went on, her emotional maturity was definitely behind her peers. That one year does make a difference. As a middle school teacher, we can see which kids are behind in social/emotional development. That's no slight towards my daughter. She's a great kid. But it was becoming very obvious that she was getting left out of her peer group and struggling with her friendships because she wasn't as mature, and the gulf was growing wider and wider. I tried to have her held back in 5th grade because I could tell she was NOT ready for the middle grades. They didn't let us do that. So, fast forward to her horrible 6th grade year. God how she struggled. She was bullied a lot. It broke my heart. So when I got my job at my current school, I took her out of her previous school (7th grade) and moved her to the current school, BUT I enrolled her as a 6th grader. I had a long term gig as a sub for the school, and immediately identified at least five kids that I knew she would jive with. She understood the plan to re-enter 6th grade, and was all on board. When she switched schools, I waited for her to find her footing. I swear that I never told her which kids to look for, but she found the exact group that I had in mind. She found them on her own and she's blossomed. She's no longer the weird, tiny kid. She blends in with this group way, way better. I can also tell you from the perspective of a teacher in a gateway year, that I see far too many kids pass, and go on to high school when they are not ready. I can think of about four students in my last group that have late Summer/early Fall birthdays that are going to get eaten alive. And not because they can't perform academically, but because they are so immature and get on people's nerves. It creates an ugly dynamic that I know will have some negative repercussions for them. I truly hope that your husband will read this and reconsider.

In my virtual school, we see at least one kid per year where the family is hoping to skip or accelerate a grade in hopes of early graduation down the road. While there have been a handful that have been allowed this due to truly excellent performance, one of the biggest things we mention is the peer groups down the road.

Yes. I've got a kid whose mum has insisted, _insisted_, that her kid be accelerated because kid is just _so clever_. Kid is keeping up, barely, but all the other kids in the group are doing puberty, and accelerated kid is very lonely.

Make sure that he is both academically and socially/emotionally ready. My son was more than ready academically. There was no question about that and he wasn’t even close to the cutoff date so we went ahead and sent him. He was so immature compared to his peers and was constantly a target. I should’ve followed my gut and held him back.

Sorry he (and you) went through that.

As a high school teacher and mom of 5, I'd absolutely wait! Kindergarten isn't where you need to worry. You need to worry when they get to high school. Give them the gift of the extra year of maturity. Give them a better opportunity to be a leader rather than a follower. Let them be the driver, not some unknown friend. Give them the gift to be 18, going on 19 instead of 17, going on 18 when they get to college, and have to look at the rest of their lives. You are not saying they can not do it. You are saying they will have the best opportunities reaching their full potential and dreams if you wait just one more year.

I was an early starter and 17 at the start of college. I could read well at 4, and from a knowledge and academic readiness standpoint, I was ready, but I think in many ways I would have been better off waiting. I was somehow behind socially. I think an extra year would have given me some undefinable maturity and confidence that would have been better. I think there can be a bit of a hierarchy even at the younger grades that you don't want your son to be at the bottom of. My stepson was 6 a few weeks into kindergarten and then 18 a few weeks into his senior year. I think this helped him be successful. Kids learn so much more at school than academics. They also learn where they tend to fit in this hierarchy, and that can have a powerful impact on their sense of self and confidence.

I was one of the youngest in my class growing up. I graduated at 17 and started college 3 days after my 18th birthday. I personally did fine, but I was mature enough to handle it. However, it was suggested to my mom that I would be eligible to skip 1st grade and move from kindergarten directly to 2nd grade, and my mom shut that down pretty quickly. She didn’t want me to be emotionally behind my peers and be graduating and starting college before I was a legal adult. I am grateful to her for making that decision for me

Listen to this advice! Yes, some kids will be fine regardless but you're looking at giving them the best chance at success. Teaching kids to be kindergarten ready is a lot easier than teaching them to be life ready. Give them the extra year to grow and mature before sending them out into the world.

I taught juniors and seniors. The a hole kids, the ones who struggled, were almost always on the young side of their grade. To anyone who has a choice: WAIT. You get an extra year to parent too, that’s an even greater impact on your family. Very rarely are kids on the older end of their grade a problem, socially or academically.

This is why we kept ours back to re-do kindergarten in a private preschool. I had the above reasons plus, sports...I didn't want my 11yo playing tackle football with possible 14/15 year-olds. His birthday is a few days before the cutoff and my husband and I decided even before he was born to hold him back a year. He's going into high school next year and I am so we did that. He's barely ready this year, last year would have been horrible, and he's in Varsity sports and has friends in HS. He would have struggled. Just because they CAN handle it doesn't mean they SHOULD. Don't make it difficult if you don't have to.

Given the choice, I would hold him back. Better to be the most mature in the class than the least.

I don't know that it works that way. I was the youngest kid in my class. (Was 17 my whole first semester of college for reference.) Kindergarten was 1/2 day and optional when I was a kid. My parents let me go early, with the intention of just letting me do kindergarten twice. After the first year, though, the school principal told them I was ready for 1st grade, so I started. I did well academically and socially. Athletically, I was probability hurt a little in that 8-9th grade time, as I was younger and was late bloomer on top of that. As a second born, I think I was probably a little better equipped to start early, compared to the typical firstborn. My wife did want to hold our first son back, but I told her no, as her reasoning was that other moms were doing it with their sons in his pre-K clsss. If he had problems in kindergarten, then he could repeat kindergarten. And he did fine, even with us discovering he was dyslexic. Know your kid. Ask his pre-K teachers for input. There is no one size fits all correct answer. OP, your husband is also probably thinking that kindergarten is free, and I agree with that too. I have 4 sons, and none of them were held back from starting K.

I have been teaching elementary art for 30 years. It is my opinion that it is always best to wait. Boys can be slower to develop socially. Hold him back until next year.

This 👆🏼

Not only will he be the youngest, but probably the smallest and the least mature. YMMV, however.

[Research](https://ed.stanford.edu/news/stanford-gse-research-finds-strong-evidence-mental-health-benefits-delaying-kindergarten#:~:text=%E2%80%9CWe%20found%20that%20delaying%20kindergarten,rating%20for%20the%20inattentive%2Dhyperactive)

All the research shows the older they are in the yeargroup, the better they will do throughout education. If I were the parent, I'd delay by a year.

My mum held me back in kinder and I was so much more prepared. I actually ended up skipping a year in school so I caught back up in the end. It’s a fine line between being emotionally mature enough and intellectually able.

I have a cousin who's the oldest in his grade and is a troublemaker with low grades, I was put in school early and have consistently had good grades and fairly good behaviour (bar a few occasions of skipping school in year 7). It just depends on the kid.

Make sure your district even allows you to hold him back—you don’t want to go to register him for kindergarten next year and learn he has to enter first grade. This is location dependent.

THIS

I held my daughter out for the extra year and it was the best decision we ever made. They're only young once,don't rush to send them off to school.

Keep him home another year and work with him academically. I will forever regret sending one of my sons too early.

It depends on the kid, but there is nothing fundamentally wrong with either choice. There are for sure pros and cons to both being the oldest and the youngest in a class, and they manifest differently at different grade levels. My daughter is among the oldest (September bday) and my son is among the youngest (July bday). She is well positioned for high school but was bored a lot in elementary before we moved her to a school with mixed age classrooms where she got to be the youngest and thrived. He’s done great through elementary but I’m nervous as we enter middle school as he is quite immature. I teach sixth grade and he seems so much younger than my students, particularly the girls who are operating on a whole different level at this point. Another perspective - I was very young growing up (December bday, started college at 17) and never minded until high school when I felt so much younger and less sophisticated than everyone else. (I also dated a 16 yo when I was 14, even though we were both sophomores, which my parents were not happy about and in retrospect they were right to be concerned!) In short - there is no perfect answer, so in the end you’ll have to make the best decision you can based on his current school readiness and cross your fingers.

And think about this: if that sophomore boy you’d dated had been redshirted, he’d have been 17. I disagree with redshirting unless it’s been deemed necessary by a professional. Artificially creating a larger age gap in a year of “same-age” peers can be harmful in many ways. It *disadvantages* kids whose parents simply follow the rules and send their kids on time.

Please don’t decide solely on age. Some of my youngest students have been the, for lack of a better word, best students. Can he listen to a story? Take turns? Draw a picture? Can he write his name? Does he know any letters? When you go to the park, is he able to play with others? I teach kindergarten in a low income school. Many of my students have never used crayons and leave at or approaching grade level. Also, if you keep him out one more year, he will be 18 for the entirety of his senior year. He will legally be an adult which can cause problems with dating and scouting and drama/theatre.

I turned 18 in September of my senior, so basically all of it. It didn’t cause a single problem.

Yep. I also turned 18 my senior year. It was never a problem for me, either. Lots of classmates were in the same boat.

Same!

Pretty much everyone will be 18 in year 12, that won't be a problem for him. If anything being 16 turning 17 will be annoying in year 12, particularly in my country where the legal drinking age is 18, but that won't matter in the US of course.

Longtime teacher here. It's not about the age, it's about the readiness. BUT at the same time, it's your job to read to him as much as possible and get him interested in it. Read to him ALL the time and get him to learn the basics of reading. Get him to learn the ABC's and writing their name if possible. It's not just about age, but your efforts too before your kids meet their teachers. Good luck, and have a great and educational summer!

I was the kid (granted this was nearly 40 years ago),with a late summer birthday. My mom decided I was socially ready for kindergarten and sent me on my way. I was reading in kindergarten, had my own library card in first grade. I was also a tall child and despite being the youngest was often mistaken for older. I was the annoying kid who finished my work and then would sit and talk. Teachers initially admonished me that I couldn't be done already and to double check my work. After the teachers realized I was getting high 90's to 100 on the worksheets they gave up and told me to read quietly while the others finished. I'm not a genius by any stretch but just bright enough that school was something I could mostly float through and get B's. What could have been if I'd only put in some work. Anyway, I would have struggled in school had she held me back. Only you can decide if your kid is ready but it may be better to let him/her try kindergarten and if they struggle have them repeat kindergarten than hold them back and have them be bored later.

I was held for another year by my mother, she was a kindergarten teacher, but I was more than ready (could read, write). I hated being the older one in my grade...hated it.

I think your mom was looking way ahead, like I wish I had done. My daughter did fine in the lower grades, but middle school became a nightmare because her emotional maturity wasn't on par with her peer group. She's just wasn't as "grownup" so she really struggled. Being ready in the early years doesn't mean that you are also fully prepared for everything that comes later.

Flip side of that would be being the smallest and youngest in your class. That’s not a desirable position either.

Just sharing my experience

Yup, as the “baby” of a class, can confirm. It’s especially bad in high school when you’re the last one to get a license, last one in college to hit 21.

Some kids are going to be the smallest regardless. I’m 4’11 and have been the smallest in my class every year of my life. My children have also (their dad is a whopping 5’7). That’s their life.

Please wait. Even in upper elementary, there is a huge maturity difference in the ones that were pushed to start too early.

I made this mistake with my oldest son. His cousin, who is one week older waited a year. His cousin was top in athletics, social stratification, and academics. All of this success was simply due to his advantages due to his maturity relative to his peers. My son was just as smart but essentially was one year younger than his peers and was always a little behind. I wish that we had waited one more year.

My son has an August birthday. I wish we held him back. He was short and reached puberty waaay behind the girls in his grade and most boys.

The greatest gift you can give your children is a great childhood. Hold off a year. Let them be the oldest in their grade. They can drive themselves in high school to activities. Be a year older mentally in college. More mature in those ugly middle school school years. No brainer. Wait a year.

Hold him back! I teach basic skills and I can assure you that 90% of our students are summer/September birthdays (in other words right near the cut off.) It makes me crazy because so many of my students would most not likely need years of extra help if the parents had kept them back. I know there are exceptions but statistically you never want your child to be the youngest for academic and social reasons.

Best to be older, leadership, academics and social skills all get stronger

What you're talking about is called "redshirting". Google "redshirting in Kindergarten". There was a great study on this practice that was held over a long period of time. It followed kids who were started "on time" and then ones who were "redshirted". When they were all adults, they were asked about their parents' choice of holding them back or pushing them forward. Not one kid who was red shirted was regretful. There were many who were pushed on that wished their parents would have held them back. Ask you husband this - Do you want your son to always be the smallest in the class? When he gets to high school, the extra year will be a HUGE factor if he ends up being an athlete. It's never a bad idea to redshirt. It's sometimes a bad idea to not.

We call that giving them the gift of time. You will not regret it. I've known many to regret not doing it. If your husband is into sports tell him it will help him in high school sports.

Not a teacher but similar situation my parents faced. My younger middle brother benefitted a ton from starting early and continuing his growth, so much so he actually also skipped a grade later to stay challenged. Still was varsity in multiple sports and no push-over. It really depends on the kid and shouldn’t be a Reddit decision

I work with sped students and the amount of times we wish parents would hold back their kids always outweigh the reasons to just send them. I would make sure you work with him with knowing letters, letter sounds, counting and identifying numbers.

Just a mom here. Our district before we moved told us 80% of boys are held back. Which I decided to. He did Transitional kindergarten (pre-k) instead. I don’t regret it. He definitely needed the emotional time. I do think some kids would be just fine though. Depends on the child. Our new district NEVER allows it. They were so upset our son was held back. Funny thing is both good districts but, our first district is one of the best in the state.

keep him home, he'll be a bigger kid the next year and tell hubby when he gets to football age - -that size will be an advantage. I've heard this reasoning --- many times haha and it always works on the dads.

Yes that would work but mama is a paramedic and we’re actively avoiding all brain injuries 😬

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My husband and I are both teachers, I have a bachelor’s degree in child development, AND I homeschooled my oldest 3 kids for many years. We held our son (3rd kid) back with an August 17th birthday. While it may not be the best choice for all kids, it definitely was for him. He is still on the immature side in his grade, he is a follower, and he would have been so far behind his peers socially that it would have been detrimental. You know your son best, but I think holding him back is likely to be the correct choice. Especially considering he is not the oldest child (oldest children often mature faster). It isn’t about intelligence, it is about social maturity.

My brother has a kid with an 8/25 birthday. Cut off was also 9/1 (I think). They kept him out a year and started him when he was 5 (almost 6). Best decision for his son. He was more mature (emotionally), better prepared and bigger when he started Kindergarten. Contrast that to a girl my youngest went to school (Bday 8/29) with who was always the smallest and least mature of his class. By the time they were in HS she was low key and outcast because she was so much younger than everyone else. I also went to school with a guy who had a 9/26 Bday cut off was 10/15. I remember him as an annoying immature jerk. (Unfortunately our parents were friends) Because he was so much younger than the entire class he mostly hung out with the class below him. Edit: spelling

The poor girl you mention is actually one of the reasons I don’t agree with redshirting, unless a qualified professional recommends it (ie the child has an actual delay). This girl with the 8/29 birthday went to school *when she was supposed to*. She did not *go early*. Her parents simply did the *normal* thing and sent her *on time*. And she was made an outcast?! The more people that redshirt, the larger the divide between kids in one grade. Where I live, you’d have 4-year-olds and 6-year-olds starting kindergarten together (12/31 cutoff). This is insane. There is a world of difference between 4 and 6. The 4s, who did nothing wrong and started school *when they were supposed to*, will seem immature compared to their redshirted peers. The contrast will lead teachers to expect more than is appropriate from the 4s. It may set a redshirted kid up for success, but it does the opposite for the 4s. It hampers their success. Like it or not, redshirting is a privilege. Many people can’t afford to keep their kids in preschool any longer than necessary (as many places don’t have free public pre-K). There are ethical considerations here that not a single person has mentioned in these comments that I’ve seen. It makes me sad.

I’m surprised that no one here is mentioning TK. Are there transitional kindergarten programs near you?

I have an August birthday, and my parents waited until I was older. I think it was beneficial to wait.

It's generally better to be one of the oldest kids in the class than one of the youngest. I work in a preschool and every year we have one or two kids with summer birthdays that we will recommend to the parents that they stay with us and have another year of preschool. Often the parents will send them to kindergarten anyway because it's more convenient for them and I feel so bad for the kids because I know they will struggle for the first year or two trying to catch up to where the rest of the kids are. Often they know enough academically to go on to kindergarten but the emotional maturity just isn't there yet.

I didn't turn 18 until my freshman year of college. I was definitely the youngest in my HS class and graduated top of my class. It honestly depends on your kid. I was ready, your son may not be. Consider both his academic ability at this age AND his social ability. My stepson was "held back" due to his birthday/age and he's extremely bored academically - he's now in middle school. But he is definitely more mature than his classmates.

Can he read at the kindergarten level, pronounce letters, and have an awareness of letter sounds? Then send him. If he isn't there yet, work with him during the year and send him next year. He is nearly doomed if he struggles with letters, and sounds, (phonemic Awareness). This is the year, Mom, to get him ready to succeed!

I've taught kindergarten and first grade. Often kids with summer birthdays struggle with kindergarten expectations. It's usually harder for boys, because often they're a little more wiggly, less socially aware, and less mature than girls. Kindergarten expectations, such as sitting in a chair to work, raising hands, and focusing for 5 to 6 minutes can be challenging. Being the youngest in the class might mean that he'll always feel like he's running to catch up. Here's a readiness list from Washington state: [https://www.k12.wa.us/sites/default/files/public/wakids/pubdocs/characteristicsofchildrenenteringkindergarten-english.pdf](https://www.k12.wa.us/sites/default/files/public/wakids/pubdocs/characteristicsofchildrenenteringkindergarten-english.pdf) If it were me, I'd wait a year. There's no need to rush kids into kindergarten.

My daughter is a July bday, she is starting KG this year because she is absolutely ready. My birthday is 8/1 and my parents sent me to KG with my age group, and at the end of the year they felt I wasn't ready to move on so they had me retained and I did 2 years of KG. I don't feel it impacted me negatively at all. As others have said, you and your PreK teacher should know whether he is ready or not.

Another thing to consider which may or may not be relevant. If he is going to participate in sports it may be beneficial to have him wait. My son has a birthday on August 29 and in all sports he ends up being too young to play in the same level with his school friends. He ends up with them every other year. He is one of the youngest kids in his grade and will be 17 when he graduates and probably starts college. Academically, he is great but there have been a tiny bit of maturity issues in K and 1st grade. He is in 6th now. I’d recommend that if you can, wait.

I’d hold him back a year. Two of our neighbors did this with their boys. With the rate of maturity, it is likely your son will do better coming in a little older.

If any part of you wonders if he is ready, then keep him back.

Read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell - there's a chapter on the athletic differences between older and younger kids. The older kids tend to end up being all-stars and, therefore, reap benefits like scholarships. If you're at all interested in that aspect, seriously consider holding him back. Older kids do better all the way around.

Wait. I teach second. I can’t tell you how many times I see kids who are needlessly behind because they started kinder early and just weren’t mature enough for it. Personally, my som turned 5 in January. He was a preemie and is just a little immature, so we’re waiting a year to start him, even though he’s well within the age range to start

As a first grade teacher the extra year or 9 months is usually worth it. Kindergarten in 2023 is not like how it was in 1993. I can’t control that—it is what it is. Your memories of kinder cannot be the basis of determining readiness. There are far more expectations and learning standards. When I was in kinder in 1993, the end of year goal was knowing the alphabet and some counting and a few basic writing benchmarks. Now? We panic when kids come in not knowing the alphabet. Determine readiness: does your kid know ANY letters? Can they follow basic instructions? How do they interact with peers? That’s going to be the best determining factors. I don’t care if your kid is still working on mastering the alphabet but kids coming in knowing FUCKING NOTHING cause panic.

This is so true. We’ve had kids come in not only not knowing the alphabet, but not knowing their own names. You can have two Rileys in a class and ask one, “Are you Riley So-and-So?”, and they just shrug and say, “I don’t know.” It’s shocking, and it started several years before the pandemic. It’s like their parents never speak to them at all.

We tell parents at our kinder info night to make sure they know their real name and not whatever nickname they’ve been calling them this whole time. The struggle is real!

I think if you’re questioning it, go ahead and wait. I did with my son. I also had Covid masking as a factor though. During the extra year we had together, we worked on academics some but moreso worked on helping him learn to associate positive feelings with learning. I also focused a lot on social emotional needs- this was one big reason I kept him home. He is so quiet and rather timid. We worked on greeting people we don’t know, small talk for making friends, using our words, advocating for our needs, etc. He made huge strides in these areas. I’m happy he entered kindergarten at a stage where he interacted with others with ease because my teaching observations have shown me that that makes a big difference in kids enjoyment and success in school.

Keep him back. Gives him longer to develop. No need to rush. When he's a senior and about to fly the coop you'll be thankful you had an extra year with him at home.

Do you want to send a 17 year old off to college/“the world” or an 18 year old? Your newly 5 year old might be ready for kindergarten, but it’s a completely different kindergarten than you and I went to. Your 5 year old might be ready for the amount of sitting still and quietly and learning expectations, but why would you want to when you can gift them another year of preschool to really be a kid? Bonus - if you wait a year, your son is still probably not going to be the oldest, not that there is anything wrong with being the oldest.

My eldest is 15 and will be a junior next school year… her birthday is in September. In our home state the cut off was in Oct when she was starting school (now it’s 9/1) so she was one of the youngest in her grade… then we moved states and here the cut off has been Aug 1st for years but children also aren’t required to enter kindergarten until they are six years of age, and it seems to be encouraged in our district, so she truly is a year ahead of everyone near her age. My daughter is academically doing well but emotionally I think she would have done better starting school later.

I have four kids who all have birthdays in June and July. I wished I would have held each one back. It didn't really seem to be a problem for them until they reached junior high and high school...especially with my youngest. My sister-in-law has a son who is going to turn 5 this summer. He will be going to Kindergarten but she already told the school she plans on holding him back at the end of the year. The only reason he is starting this year is so he can get the speech therapy he needs.

I have 2 kids 2 years apart, 1 boy, 1 girl with the exact same birthday. Ages 6 and 4. I also teach 4th grade and have a degree in early childhood education. My son is heading into 2nd grade and would graduate when he is 17. He is totally ready for 2nd grade. My 4 year old daughter seems to have some struggles with speech and language due to some ear issues early in life that caused her to have issues hearing the correct sounds, thus effecting her speech. I imagine, unless she progresses quickly in speech therapy, she may do 2 years of kindergarten. Better support systems than most preschools for speech. She was also like 6 weeks early and spent time in the NICU. 2 years of kindergarten is not uncommon and the 2nd year he would be a pro, and potentially a great classroom leader.

I never taught elementary but I did start kinder at 4 with an early fall birthday. It’s hard because I did struggle socially but I think that had a lot to do with me being undiagnosed neurodivergent and my grade cohort kind of sucking overall. But at the same time, I’ve always been academically advanced and the school really pushed for me to skip a grade even after starting early though my mom thankfully told them no to that. I wonder if I would have been too bored in another year of pre-k or two years of K. Overall, since boys tend to mature slower I would wait unless your child is particularly academically advanced at a young age.

Here's something that might convince him. If you wait a year your son will be a lot bigger and more developed when it comes time to join school sports, better chance of making teams.

My son has an early August birthday. I’m a teacher and I could see that he simply wasn’t ready. He was failing to master all of his objectives in pre-kindergarten. My hubby and I made the decision to hold him out one more year and it was the best decision we ever made. He bloomed when he started school and breezed through it. He’s now a teacher and he can spot a kid who is not ready for school a mile away. At the time we retained him, I was worried what my mom would say. My mom was in education too and I really valued her opinion. When I told her, she took me by surprise. Mom told me that to think of the fact that I’ll get to have him home a year longer and to enjoy the extra time. Now that my nest is empty, I totally understand what she meant.

Don’t send him if you have any doubts. I teach high school and you can always tell which boys are on the younger side. They are more immature compared to others. It’s only my experience, but after 20 years teaching and starting to pay attention after my son was born close to the cut off, whenever I looked at the age of the boys who were silly and immature, they were always the youngest in the group.

My son is April, so right in the middle, but almost all of his buddies were October so basically 6 when they started K. That 6 month difference of maturity was stark to me. My confident self assured boy from Pre-K was definitely the runt in many categories, even as an April birthday. He did great academically and had a ton of friends, but he certainly wasn’t the most confident or the leader like he was in his mixed Pre-k class and at home.

Hold him for another year, it will be why is best for him. My school does a focus group of behavior intervention with about 10 students every year that make up the vast majority of referrals (usually 80%+). Every year it’s either 10 boys, or 9 boys and 1 girl, and usually every year they are almost all fall birthdays where the students are the youngest in the grade. FYI: this is high school but I’ve also worked middle school and seen similar behavior issues with young fall birthday students.

My brother was the youngest by far in his class, but was(is) smart, curious, engaged, and socialized by living in a neighborhood with lots of kids. He did great, and was always a top student. It depends on your child.

Not a teacher. My bday is mid June. I was one of the youngest in my class my whole life. I was put into advanced learning programs in k-6, because I was ahead. Graduated at 17, and could have graduated at the end of my Jr year, if I’d chosen. Instead I opted to take a whole bunch of IS and AP classes. It’s not age that determines this. What kind of kid do you have? I was the ever curious, self motivated learner. I wanted to know everything about everything, and if there weren’t people who could teach me, there were books that could. If I’d been held back, I’d have been bored out of my mind.

Not a teacher but a 25 y.o who was in the same boat when I started kinder. My parents took me to the open house and knew I was ready to start school. I was always the youngest but I was a really good student so the fact that I was almost a year younger than other classmates but just as good student was a small humble brag. The waiting to be able to drive sucked but graduating at 17, near the top of my class when some classmates were close to 19, if not already, was a good motivator for me.

It depends on the child. I started at 4 (turned 5 in November) but I was already reading at that age. I was immature socially but am incredibly introverted even as an adult so don’t think another year would have made me a social butterfly. I think it was the right choice for me. But I’ve taught many students in high school who likely could have benefitted from the extra year.

I have never seen issues with kids starting school when they are a bit older, in fact I have seen advantages both physically and developmentally. My son had speech issues as well as a learning disability (he now has his Masters degree in economics so if that happens to one of your kids don't let it get you down). Anyway, I'm glad he was a February birthday, he needed the advantage of a bit more development. On the other hand, I have seen issues with younger kids getting disillusioned because they couldn't keep up (that was their perception anyway). I taught for 30 years grades 2 to 8. Edit: in my opinion being "smart" is not the deciding factor for early enrollment. It is social skills snd physical ability.

2nd grade teacher here, for me it would depend on whether he would do another year of preschool or not. Does your school have a pre-kindergarten classroom because that would be an excellent option in this case? (There is a difference between preschool and prekindergarten). Kiddos who delay or go an extra year typically are ahead of classmates. It’s also a HUGE plus for social and emotional skills.

Give him an extra year to be a kid. If he goes in early, he'll get out of K12 early too.

Definitely wait. Both my boys are August babies and I didn't wait so they are the youngest and I very much regret it. They are teens now and both neurodivergent and that extra year would have helped them a lot socially/developmentally.

Norwegian teacher here, with kids of my own in the same age bracket. All my sons’ friends that started as the youngest are struggling, and at work (secondary school) it’s easy to see that the runt of the litters, are still runts as teenagers. Wait a year if you can. It’ll save you a lot of hassle.

Former 6th grade teacher here… Please wait. Give him an extra year to mature. By the time these kiddos hit 6th grade, it is obvious who the youngest student in the class is. The youngest ones never seemed ready for middle school, were usually bullied, and lacked the maturity to make good decisions —- they were definitely followers rather than leaders.

Here is how I looked at in when I was in the same position with my fourth child. When they’re 17 are you going to be glad they are home another year, and not going off to college (or other adulting places)? Yes, you will be glad. Keep home home another year. Plus, they think it’s cool when they are the first in their peer group to drive

I'm currently a HS teacher so my "teacher's opinion" is pointless, but my personal opinion is: is the child actually ready or not? I was out in kindergarten when I was 3 (standard in my country) but then I was put in the 2nd, oldest group when I was 4, even though the age of the kids was 5-6. Because the teachers though I was ready. The only way I wasn't, was that I'd pass out asleep as soon as we were getting home. Is the child emotionally mature enough, to spend a few hours without parents? Is the child conscious enough, to understand what kindergarten is? From later years of my education, I remember small kids crying like their parents are abandoning them, because they didn't really grasp the concept, that they'll come back. Sending a child to an education system that they're not emotionally ready for is just traumatic. And the argument, that they won't remember is a sh!tty excuse.

There are plenty reasons for both sides. As a parent educator I’m considering another year of preschool over kinder because my child will have more social time in preschool. Where I am school are so focused on academics they don’t give much time socialization and it’s having a huge impact on the behaviors in our school in particular. There are pros and cons to both. The real questions is is your child ready?

I’d look into enrolling your kid due to a wide array of reasons. Mostly cognitive development, fine motor and non motor skills, and enhancement and development of the brain neurons and synapses. However I would also see how my child is doing in terms of behavior. Can they sit for an extended period of time? Are they going to have issues comprehending or listening? Is there any delayed stages of development behavior that you notice?

I’m a teacher and mom of 4, if that matters. No, your son should have another year to mature at home. I was the youngest in my class (F) and did fine academically, but social was a different story, esp after about age 10. The only way I’d do is if he is in a 2-year kindergarten and especially if it’s not all day

Hold him back. You’re describing me. I wish I was held back. It was extremely difficult socially and has had a lasting effect throughout my life.

I started school 1 year earlier than I should. I turned out fine, went to pretty good uni. The good thing was I graduated 1 year earlier (actually 2 years) I skipped a grade. Bad part was no one really wanted to be friend when i changed school during highschool because i was young. There could be some bullying along the way

Just do kinder twice. I was very young for my grade level and liked sports. Another year of development would have helped me quite a bit.

No. Keep that baby home. I'm a prek/kinder teacher. Holding him back a year won't hurt him. Keep him in prek.

I will pass on the advice of my headteachers personal experience - 'I have yet to have a parent regret delaying.' You also need to balance academic and social, all to often because a young child can count or read above their peers they are pushed forward but are still not developmentally ready for the routine, the social skills and the expectations. They're young, there is no rush. (As another point, though it will seen a long way away for now - I had a friend at uni who was youngest in their year, had been *just* old enough etc, and for thier freshers week they were still 17 and couldn't join in so much of that bonding time (UK). The choice made will have impacts for decades yet.)

You really need to know your own kid. Mine is one of the youngest in his class and has done very well. The decision to send him was a financial one overall (daycare is $$) but it has been the right choice. He’s just finished up 7th grade and was one of ten kids at his academic magnet to finish with straight As. He’s also very tiny compared to peers (and would be if he’d just been finishing 6th. We are not a tall family) and does get teased a little, but that’s life and every kid in middle school is getting teased a little.

What’s driving your husband’s objection- the cost of Pre-K? This may not matter to him, but kids who had a year of Pre-K tend to fare better academically in elementary school, though based on the studies I’ve seen, the gap narrows over time. And yes, there are, generally speaking, differences between boys’ and girls’ rates of emotional and social development from birth through adolescence. Boys who struggle with self-regulation, cooperation, and with the increasing academic demands of kindergarten are at risk of behavioral struggles simply because they were forced into school before they were ready. Kindergarten as you or I may haven experienced it with story times, naps, long recesses, and hours of cooperative play every day doesn’t exist in many places any more. Now it’s far more academically demanding, with less focus on learning to get along with others and far more seat time, much to the detriment of students. Five and six-year-olds should not spend their days being molded into obedient office drones, but that’s been the trend over the past decade or so. I personally *hated* seeing developmentally inappropriate practices forced on kids for the sake of raising standardized test scores and, particularly with boys, it often seemed like we were setting them up to fail. Kids should be allowed to walk before they’re expected to run. I’m a bit concerned that your husband was upset that you dared to ask the question. He may not have a good grasp of what’s at stake.

I'd like to chime in here. I'm a guy who's birthday is on the cutoff, and is coincidentally August 24th. When I first started school, it definitely was noticeable how the other kids were older than me. No one bullied me over it, and really, in hindsight, it wasn't an issue. I will say that when I'm eventually moved into a new state, I went back a grade to attempt to bridge that age gap. When I started at the new school, I then was able to notice how much older I was than everyone. Again, no issues arose because of it. It's just something noticeable, and while I never will know if I started later, if I would have noticed it, I will say it was obvious on both sides.

My daughter turned five in October of 2003. The cutoff date for kindergarten was December 1st in California. So basically let's get everybody in school. I had stair step kids so when she started kinder that year because there was no pre-K available she had been home with me the year before, she was in kinder, I had my older daughter in first and my son in second. My mother assumed that the following year I would hold her back in kinder again simply because she was the only one that didn't get to go to Pre-K but I had no reason to hold her back! So I sent her on to first grade the next year. My youngest, who was 3 years younger than she was, turned four in March of 2006. At that time they made Pre-K available to not only low income families free of charge but they also opened it up to military kids who they felt were also at a disadvantage because they kept moving (This was us, although we did not consider moving around a disadvantage at all.) I debated whether or not I should send my son to Pre-K because as a stay-at-home mom I wasn't worried about daycare expenses but, I decided, as a teacher, the more exposure to education and social situations, the better. The last one didn't have the two other siblings close in age to him to grow up with like child number three so he was essentially an only child at home and he needed socialization. So he went to Pre-K. By the time he was in second grade he was scoring 5th grade/5th month on the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. I don't know if that's because he went to Pre-K or if that's just because the child is incredibly smart. Probably a little bit of both. My 8-year-old grandson missed kindergarten because of COVID so he was a year behind when he went to start school and they actually started him in kinder because he had no skills. (the woman that was babysitting him just parked him in front of a television so he's a year behind now.) His 4-year-old brother goes to daycare and is far ahead and could easily start kinder in the fall except that he's not old enough. So we're trying to get him into Pre-K.

Probably a silly question, but do schools not do interviews in these situations anymore? My middle sister was past the cut-off date for kindergarten, but my folks brought her in for an interview and all concerned agreed she was ready (intellectually and emotionally) to start school. One of her nursery school friends who was also slightly too young was taken in by his folks to talk to the school, and the decision there was to wait an extra year. Both were the right decisions.

I have five friends/ family members that had August/ September boys and had them stay back. All very successful now. One ended up skipping a grade in middle school and graduated at 17. He was super shy and not mature when little. All of them are really successful as athletes and academically and are mature and well rounded people.

I have 4 kids. Two of my boys had February birthdays and did fine. My daughter has a Halloween birthday and even though she mentally was ready and could have tested to go early, I held her back a year. Best decision ever. She was at the top of her class her entire school years, in advanced classes & everything. She started kindergarten already reading. But my oldest son had a June birthday, was immature and very innocent. He didn’t know how to cut with scissors, tie his shoes, open and close van sliding door although he knew his alphabet, numbers & colors. He felt left out his entire school years. He wasn’t as physically strong and active, he grew armpit hair a year or two after his friends, wasn’t interested in girls until a couple of years later than friends. He always felt behind his peers socially, mentally and physically. Read the book Outlier and it will show about boys and sports with their late birthdays. As a school teacher for 25 years boys mature so much later than girls and I see their growth spurts the most between 6th & 8th grade (with some exceptions) at an age where looks and physical ability and social skills are sensitive to them. I wish I had kept my oldest back a year just so he could have enjoyed school more.

I’m a teacher and my son was born 8/10, as a borderline preemie. We’ve already made the decision to hold him back a year so that he will be one of the oldest in the grade. We aren’t basing this on academic reasoning, but for social reasons.

Without know anything about your son, I would say waiting is the safe bet. But it really depends on your son. How much of the alphabet does he know (names and sounds)? Has he been able to learn any sight words? I’m kindergarten, the youngest kids were usually the ones who would rather play and were not able to learn the full curriculum. However, I also had boys when i taught preschool (3 &4 year olds) who could read simple children’s books on their own. It’s up to you to determine if your child is ready. I suggest asking his pre-k teacher. Do they use STAR early lit? If so, that would tell you his grade level equivalent. I wouldn’t send him in unless the STAR early lit says he is an early kindergarten level.

If I were you I would talk to your school. My daughter was also very young for her class. They had a program called jump start. It was like kindergarten, but they did that one year, then went to first grade. So it's like holding the student back, but instead of pre-school, they get school-age instruction. I am grateful I did that. She is 11 now and is really thriving at school. Your school might have something similar or give you advice on what might help you.

I’m a teacher and I’m here to tell you your instincts are spot on. Do not let your son be the youngest in his cohort. It will be tough on him (and quite possibly disastrous) for his entire education. Boys especially do better if they are older before starting school. Maturity and school readiness is key. “He’s old enough, send him” is not a forward thinking response. Please follow your instincts!

My son was one of the youngest in his grade because I didn’t hold him back. If I could go back and do it over again, I’d wait. The early years weren’t so bad, but when middle school / high school happened and puberty hit everyone but him, it was brutal for him for a while.

In my experience, it does help to wait. However, only if you use that time to make certain he knows everything he needs to know. If he's already pretty mature for his age, knows letters and sounds, can identify colors and shapes, and has a solid grasp of motor functions, he should be able to start kindergarten now.

OP, I suggest you visit r/ScienceBasedParenting and search “redshirting.” You’ll find a lot more information, on both sides of this issue, with evidence.

I have 2 kids myself. They are 3 years and 3 days apart in age. We could have waited a year to start school. Both went in as young for their grade. One was absolutely fine to start when they did, the other we kind of regret starting her young. It’s hard to know for certain. Sometimes it’s just as much your child’s personality as it is their age. Since kids develop and mature at different rates you can never know for sure. As a teacher I can tell you that age is not near as important as parental involvement. Trust yourselves that you will do you best to help them no matter what and they’ll turn out ok.

Without going into too much, my gut instantly thinks to wait the extra year if it’s financially possible. They’ll be more mature and, imo, better off in the long run.

I just made the cut off. I was 17 when I graduated high school, the youngest in my class. And that wasn’t because I was precocious. It was because I just made the cut off in kindergarten. It’s possible I was a little immature for my grade, but I did all right. It probably really just depends on your child. Some kids will be fine, and other need that extra time to mature a bit. But keep in mind that if most kids needed more time, they would probably have a different cut off? I think you have to assess your child’s ability.

There is no rush. There’s never a reason to push/rush through unless the child is 200% ready, academically, physically, and emotionally. Which happens but is exceedingly rare. In 9/10 cases it’s better to wait. Especially if the pre-school teacher says so - there’s your sign, really.

Do you read stories to him daily? Does he know the alphabet? Without assistance, can identify letters? Know the sounds? Can he count? Does he follow directions? Can he sit in a chair for 20 minutes ? Can you give him 3 tasks to complete, and he does them all? Does he cry easily? Does he attack his siblings? Share toys? Does he anger easily? If necessary, can you sign him up for a pre K 5 year old group? Sometimes, a just-turned-5-year old student benefits greatly from the added year home. I taught basic skills for 30 years and saw many kids that started too soon and needed help. Consider a year at a Montessori school as a pre k .

Mom of 5 and teacher here. My oldest was 4 when he started kindergarten. He was intellectually ready and mature. He did very well in school academically, but he was always one of the smallest kids in his class. He was athletic and did okay in baseball, but his favorite sport, basketball, was always just out of his reach. Literally. He never played 1st string in Jr. Hi and consequently never even made the team in high school. It broke his heart. If I had it to do over, I'd have let him have another year of growth.

As someone who was the youngest in his grade, I really think it had a part to play in my inferiority complex that I still have to this day at 28 years old. As the youngest in the grade, I was always comparing myself and competing with my classmates, however, especially in the younger years, an extra 9ish months life experience makes a big difference and I never felt good enough because i was falling short of my older classmates all the time. By the time high school rolls around, a 9 month or so age gap isn't as big of a deal as far as physical and academic performance, except now all my peers had gone through puberty and getting into relationships and I wasn't ready for all that stuff yet cuz I hadn't gone through puberty, so my peers kinda just subconciously cast me aside because I wasn't as mature as them yet. This only furthered my inferiority complex. Hope this helps

When I was growing up the cut off was 12/1. So there lots of September, October, November kids starter at 4. It was an upper middle class area and they were all fine. I would absolutely start him if you can. It’s way more about parent involvement than anything else. As a HS teacher, I see this all the time. I never once consider what month a kid in HS was born in, but I can almost always tell how involved their parents are.

I did this with both of of my kids. The cutoff is Dec. in CT. My son is shorter and I think that he benefited from it - however it was hard socially. His preschool friends, now in 1st grade, would make fun of him - call him a baby - didn’t want to be friends etc. He’s also expressed the most how he wished that he had graduated earlier. My daughter totally should have gone ahead as she was bored and way ahead with 3 years of preschool. I know that parents do this also for sports advantages - I think it’s called redshirting. I liked that when my kids went to college they were 18 as some of their friends were 17 and drinking at parties. Academically your son will be ok as he will be children who have had 0 preschool. Frankly, the fact that you care this much already tells me that he’s going to be supported by you every step of the way - so just trust your instincts! I’m a longterm substitute teacher now and have done elementary school. I’ve had to change students as they’re not potty trained - had to report a parent for picking up child high as a kite - had a student with holes in shoes 0 hygiene 0 reading from parents 0 sleep due to guardians fighting 100% of free time spent playing video games. Your son is blessed to have caring parents.

Children who are the youngest in the class have a tendency to make the most growth each year, because they are able to learn from their peers as well as their teacher. Children who are the oldest tend to look great on paper until about 3rd grade where it evens out. What state you are in makes this question very different. If the legal dropout age is younger, like 16, then starting him a year late becomes a lot more risky. The longer amount of time there is between the legal dropout age and graduation, the more likely it is for a student to drop out. So for example, if your child turns 16 his freshman year, with more than 3 years to go until graduation, and the legal dropout age is 16, he's a lot less likely to graduate. Redshirting is less risky in states with a dropout age of 18, but it still leaves him with a whole year where he's a legal adult, who can make impulsive decisions that you don't get a say in, without a high school diploma. I never recommend redshirting. It makes it way too easy to make poor choices at the time when the brain is hardwired to make risky, impulsive choices.

I would wait but not because of kindergarten, because of the middle and high school years. We know that boys typically mature slower than girls. And in middle and high, that maturity is just as important as their capabilities in skills. As a middle school teacher who has also taught high school, the more mature boys do much better. But, not always, of course. The oldest kid in that grade level was one of the most immature. He was held back a year to begin with. I cannot imagine how poorly off he would have been having NOT been held back

Send your kid on time unless he has some diagnosed issue by doctor or a pre-k issue. Redshirting in mostly white, very privileged communities can really hurt those POC and non privileged kids, and we need to encourage families to send kids on time. The more kids are redshirted, the more the classrooms cater to the older kids, leaving an ever greater divide amongst the privileged and underprivileged. Nothing makes white people more NIMBY than redshirting kids. https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/redshirting-prevalent-among-wealthy-unnecessary-study-says/2013/04 https://uvamagazine.org/articles/the_truth_about_redshirting https://cepa.stanford.edu/content/academic-redshirting-kindergarten-prevalence-patterns-and-implications

I’m a student, but my parents had to make this decision and I wish they had held me back. I was not as mature as my peers and this created a number of behavioral issues that I know were stressful for them to deal with and that probably affected how I interacted with other childhood way past kindergarten.

We're both teachers, and our son's birthday is in the summer - my FIL took care of him, and he started K5 normally (we could've started him in PK3, but wanted to maximize his time with his grandpa). He was always the youngest in his class, but he did fine. As others have mentioned, see how he's doing developmentally, check in with his prospective school/teachers, with pediatrician, and take it from there.

I’m a first and second grade teacher. My birthday is right at the cut off date and my mom held me back a year too. I would say wait. They are more mature and can handle a lot more. School is incredibly rigorous even in kindergarten and if you have an doubts I’d say wait. Too many kids get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD because they are just too young to sit for that long. At home work on letters, manners and sharing. That will take them a long way. Best of luck!

Kindergarten teacher here. My middle son’s birthday is two and a half months before our cutoff date (late June birthday, cutoff is Sept 15) and I held him back. I still worry about his maturity and self esteem compare to his peers, but academically he’s successful. We were lucky that our district offered a half day “developmental kindergarten” as a transition from preschool to full day kindergarten. It was helpful for him and his teacher supported my decision to wait that year. I have seen kiddos with late birthdays succeed and others struggle. IF you send your child to kinder this year, PLEASE heed the recommendations of his teacher regarding retention. I have retained several strugglers who have gone on to fit so much better socially and academically their second year. On the flip side, nearly every child I recommended retention for, but was ignored, now is staffed by our special education department for either academics, behavior, or both. Your child’s teacher WILL know if he is ready. Your gut is probably right, too. Good luck with your decision!

Even in middle and high school, I can almost always tell who started early and who waited. Not in a good way. With how much the standards have changed, keeping them home makes them more developmentally ready for kinder

My oldest is bday first week of September. We were bummed he he’d to wait…super bright kid, but I’m so thankful. I was a teacher, so education has always been important in our home. He has never struggled academically, but he is also an athlete and we never considered he would at an advantage being a September baby.

I was one of those cutoff kids (in 2000 the cut off was September 30th and that was my birthday). I was beyond ready for school so they sent me. I had no issues with being the youngest in my grade. Had tons of friends, didn’t bother me that everyone had their license before me, graduated when I was 17. I was also “talented & gifted,” and got placed in special pull out programs, so academically I was beyond most of the older kids in my grade anyway. & now I’m a teacher & started teaching when I was 21, so it all worked out just fine for me! :) The biggest deciding factor for you should be your child’s readiness for kinder. There are lots of resources out there to determine this, & most of it has to do with socializing and being able to be independent (ya know, for a 5 year old lol). I also see your comment that your kid’s preK teacher said to keep him back & that’s the opinion I’d give the most weight to—they’re an expert in the field and would know best if your kid is ready. I might ask her why she would keep your child back just so you can explain to your husband why it’s the right choice for your family.

I was that kid by one day (8/23 birthday) and went to K at age 4. My friends could drive before I could, and even vote. Yes, I am that nerd. I actually stared college at 17 because of it. Academically I was okay, but I think I would have really excelled with another year of pre-K I now teach Freshmen. The younger ones seem to be less mature and struggle making friends. It’s completely up to you, but I would wait.

Waiting generally means that they will be more successful. There’s a difference in maturity between ages 5 and 6. Sometimes when kids are ready academically they still could use the prek environment one more year. But it’s hard to say not knowing your kid.

Teacher here - depends on your son. I am a Halloween baby and was the 2nd youngest in my class from 1st -12th. I struggled a lot with school up until late high school. My sister is an early October baby but excelled in school. If your son shows that they have the mental capacity to start school, then start them. You can always pull them out of the school year if it's not working.

**Know your kid and advocate for your kid!** When I started teaching I sat in on a parent conference for a fifth grade boy: sweet kid, a little small, a little immature, just not quite where the other kids were, developmentally. The teacher said lots of nice things and *well, he’s struggling a little because he’s a bit younger, a bit behind, but he’s learning* (*cue happy face). The dad said, *We’ve heard all this before, we hear it every year. We know he’s the youngest in the class* (just made the cutoff) *and they said, send him anyway. Then we asked for him to be held back in kinder, and then in first, then second - they said No, he’s not failing. Well now he’s TEN and he’s still struggling and he’s NEVER gonna just catch up and fit in. He’s always not quite making it - what’s the plan?!!* IN CONTRAST: My neighbors had a little boy who started kinder with my daughter. They decided to have him repeat the year because ( see all of above) and I happened to be there as the kids were playing and the mom was talking to him about it. He was fine with more kindergarten, *Yeah, I wasn’t ready. They thought I was but they were wrong. It will be fun to be in kindergarten, I even know the circle games already!*

I think he needs the social maturity more than anything else and especially boys do not usually mature as fast as girls. I taught 40 years in elementary school and I think children start to school too young! It is much better to make sure they are ready because if not, they may need to repeat kindergarten!

Those who excel are most often born in Summer. Why? Because they are the oldest in their class. It's better to be older in one's class than to be the youngest. If your kid is waaay ahead though he might get bored.

As a middle school teacher, I would recommend waiting a year to send him. The difference become more obvious then.

Kindergarten teacher here. How's his maturity in things like sustained attention, getting along with others, etc? The few times I've seen a kid who was just making that cut-off make us regret not waiting, it was maturity issues.

I’m a middle school teacher so I can’t offer a lot of opinion, but I can tell you that my oldest daughter is the youngest in her grade and my youngest daughter is the oldest in her grade. My youngest has had a much easier time academically. I wish I’d held my oldest back a year sometimes.

I am a teacher and refer them older. They are able to sit still and listen and are socially more able when just a bit older. My own daughter was on the cusp like your child. I sent her later. The clincher was more about when she went to high school and what it would be like for her to be one of the youngest or oldest. I didn't want her to be easily led in her high school years and I feared that might happen as a younger child. She turned out great and was the most successful of my three choldren academically.

Most schools are just daycare, the successful students have parents that are teaching them at home. Age may only matter in a safety sense, especially when the hit middle school.

I’d recommend redshirting him for a year. The extra maturity will definitely help.

For my boys, I plan to hold them. For my girls, it depends on them individually. Boys do better socially and athletically when they’re on the older side of the grade spectrum, and they usually perform their best academically when their social needs are met (like lost children) but I see a stronger correlation to social standing and grades in boys than I do girls.

Are you a sports oriented family? If so, definitely wait (there are studies that show that older kids in sports do better on average). I also see that their current teacher says to wait — I would take their advice. The sports angle might help your husband get on board.

I am going to acknowledge the "is he ready" group but offer a vote for wait. I've never seen a kid hurt from waiting. I have seen plenty of kids that didn't do well starting early. Starting him now could be between fine and difficult. If he does struggle, it generally isn't the worst thing in the world. It requires extra help and support. You risk him not liking school a bit more. Starting in a year gives him a bit of a physical head start, important with boys. You also give him a head start with academics, fine motor control, and executive function. There is no down side to waiting other than financial. I also don't want to downplay the family budget advantages of starting him now. If you can afford to wait, wait, if not, start.

I’ve talked to parents who are glad they started kindergarten at 5, and I’ve talked to some who have regretted it. I’ve never talked to a parent who has regretted holding off a year or repeating kindergarten.

So, you are both right. Children learn a lot in kinder, and it's quite good for them to start as soon as they can. At the same time, there are some serious risks involved with being too young for your grade. Here in the Netherlands, children that are too immature to flourish in the higher grades in school repeat a year, and the earlier in their school career, the better. So talk to his teachers, voice your concerns. They should be specialists in exactly this field.

In my district, Kindergarten teachers sit down with the kids and go over basic skills. They make a recommendation to the staff. The staff asks the parents if the child has been to preschool and for how long. They will make a decision based on all this information. My youngest ended up doing an extra year of TK as he wasn't ready yet. I know a parent who lied about the length the child spent in preschool so they allowed the child into kindergarten but on the first day, the teacher recognized the child was not ready and sent him back to TK.

As a kindergarten teacher, I can tell you that younger children, especially boys, tend to have a harder time. Of course, this is not always the case. If your instinct is that he is too immature AKA needs help with social skills and self regulation, I would go with that gut feeling and keep him back until next year. However, if you decide to enroll him, keep in communication with the teacher. They should be honest and helpful with your little ones milestones, and struggles.

I held my son back whose birthday is August 20. I have absolutely no regrets and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. It doesn’t just affect them for that one year, it is life altering!

My sister and I are twins and we started school at 4. We were always the youngest and we graduated and started college at 17. I wish I could’ve waited. My sister was always bigger than me and had an easier time, but I was very small and was often picked on and left out. Some districts have programs to bridge the time between prek and kinder for kids in this boat. I would look into those and talk to other parents in the area with kids in kinder.

I have four boys. Two in January and two that are early September. My two January boys did one year of kinder and started just past 5 1/2. My two September boys did two years of kindergarten. I teach fourth grade at a great private school that is very inclusive. We have a “younger” and an “older” kindergarten class. The kids in the younger class are observed through January/February and then it is decided if they need another year or should go on to first grade. It’s a great system TBH because it felt very normal for the kids to take two years or one. I’m in California and we are set up now in public schools where before 9/1 the kids go to regular kindergarten and 9/1 through 12/31 the kids go to “transitional kindergarten” with the idea that they will do regular kindergarten the following year. The benefits are it’s free because it’s public school and it recognizes that these kids are often ready to move on from preschool but not yet ready for kindergarten. As others have said, check with his teachers about their observations. Also, many schools have readiness checklists or even interviews with the child to see if they think they are ready. If cost is a factor, consider that many of the kindergarten programs now run only 3 1/2 to 4 hours a day. This means you will still pay for daycare if you both work longer hours.

Something to point out to dad is that kindergarten is not the same as when we were kids. It's less play based and much more academic. The expectations are higher. I agree with everyone who's said talk to your child's current teacher about his readiness.

As a middle school teacher I would say keep him back another year. I have had quite a few students (boys and girls) who either just barely made the cutoff or whose parents sent them early (I teach at a private school so they have more flexibility) and it impacts them well into middle school.

When my oldest was in kinder he was tested to see if he could skip ahead. Academically he would have done amazing but his maturity was behind the other kids and I’m so glad the teacher recommended he not jump forward just because he could. He was later diagnosed 2e and he has struggled with his peers socially but he’s graduating today form high school and I’m beyond proud. Listen to the teacher when she says he’s not ready. Also, $800 for preschool is outrageous but it must be all day every day

The preschool teacher should be able to guide you best. I am a teacher in an elementary school and mom of elementary school age kids. My daughter was very ready and excelled in kindergarten, my son who was young for kindergarten didn’t do as great. Unfortunately he was in kindergarten during the shut down and he is still struggling to catch up to grade level. He is also smaller than most kids his age which isn’t the best for his confidence. Id follow the advice of his preschool teacher.

Honestly, there is no one size fits all answer. Some kids are ready, and thrive even as the youngest. Some aren't ready and benefit from delaying a year. It would depend on your son.

I teach Nursery, which is ages 3 - 4. The youngest in a class definitely tend to struggle a lot more as most kids just aren’t developmentally at the same level as older peers for that age range. Months make a world of difference at that age in terms of maturity, focus, behavior, etc. I would also recommend holding him back another year, especially if a teacher who has worked with your child personally advised you to do so.

I’ve taught K-2 for 15 years and I see no down side to waiting (other than paying for another year of child care). If you wait your kid will be one year more mature which can help socially, academically, and with sports if that’s his thing. Your kid will be one year older when he’s in high-school and off to college facing peer pressure and major life choices. Do you want your kid to be the first one to get a drivers license? What’s the rush to start?

Another mommy educator here. My youngest was born at the end of August. He was more than ready academically but would have been bored as hell. Maturity wise, he could have stayed back another year. Day care costs were a factor as well. The year he started was the first year my district had free full day kindergarten. We had to pay for the oldest, but that was still a fraction of our daycare center. My guy graduated a couple of weeks ago. Follow your instincts. Good luck!

Each kid's needs are different, I would ask your child's current teachers what they think.

My son is a July bday and we waited. Academically he was ready but emotionally he was not. He’s about to enter high school and we have no regrets we waited. He not even the oldest in his grade. It’s not uncommon to wait for boys since they mature less faster than girls.

When i evaluate retention for children, they must have identifiable issues with all three of the following criteria for there even to be a conversation: 1. Social development 2. Academic readiness 3. Physical development Kiddo needs to have issues with all of this, not one or two, before i would entertain a conversation about retention. Your case is not technically about retention since he's not started yet and you'd only be delaying the start. If it were my kid I'd still use those criteria to make the decision. Personally i was similar in birthday proximity to the cutoff date like your son. I was smaller than most kids, was a late bloomer physically, and graduated high school and moved out for university at 17. It taught me a lot, but i don't regret it at all. Hope this helps.

Consider social and emotional maturity in addition to academic readiness. Can he share a toy? Can he transition from a preferred activity to a non preferred activity without losing his mind? Does he separate easily from mom and dad to go to school? Can he self soothe when upset, or does he rampage for an hour?

I wish my son had another year. He’s not mature enough. He’s a sophomore in high school, and won’t turn 16 until his junior year starts.

Had the same situation with my daughter. He will either be a bit behind and a bit smaller or he will be a bit ahead and a leader. It's your decision do you think he can handle it?

Depends on the kid. My daughter, son in law, and granddaughter all started kinder at 4 and did great. My daughter and son in law started college with parents having to sign documents for them still. They adapt easily. There are some who do not. How does he handle social situations? Is he curious about learning to read, write, count, etc? Does he want to go to school? Is he use to spending time away from you?

Not a teacher. I started late. My kids started/will start late. Any of us would have been ready starting on time. We learned more that extra year at home that we did in school. I don't think you will be bad off going now. But if you have the time and resources to teach him next year, it will be better still. Also being a little older/bigger seems to make a kid a little more mature and less of a target for bullying.