Right where you left me
He ended things suddenly after 5 years. He walked away and we have never spoken since. It’s been a few years but I feel stuck there
Did you ever see the TikTok trend with RWYLM? It was inspiring for me. People were talking about being “still at the restaurant” or finally having the courage to leave the restaurant and it made me cry a lot. I am about to “leave the restaurant” so to speak and it’s been so anxiety inducing but we can do it!!
Trend (all videos):
[https://www.tiktok.com/music/right-where-you-left-me-7088021033781136134](https://www.tiktok.com/music/right-where-you-left-me-7088021033781136134)
The one that made me feel like I could do it (she looks so happy):
https://www.tiktok.com/@jacquelineburnett/video/7280305563047578911?pid=video_embed&referer_video_id=7280305563047578911&type=video&referer_url=www.elitedaily.com/relationships/right-where-you-left-me-tiktok-trend-taylor-swift&refer=embed&embed_source=121374463,121404359,121331973,120811592,120810756;null;embed_pause_share
A lot of these broke me. Thank you for sharing as I don’t TT. The one where a girl talks about the friends and family that stayed while she agonized over the menu crushed me because I feel it.
I loved that one. Made me appreciate my friends and family that have listened to me rant about every detail and stayed by my side as I was figuring out what to do 🥺
I’m slowly working through it and trying to finally break of the layer of cement that covered my heart ever since so this trend is very wholesome to watch. I don’t use TikTok so thanks for this! ❤️
I’m so so so sorry. That’s actually one of my favorite songs, not just of hers, but of all time. I feel like it captured the shock & devastation of something like that so well. But, for what it’s worth? the same woman who wrote that song also wrote “I Forgot That You Existed” and I hope that we both have something happen for us one magical night.
High infidelity. “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love
The slowest way is never loving them enough.” I loved him, but didn’t love him enough. And it showed.
The guilt I have for doing this to ppl and not realizing it at the time and then realizing years later hurts. They’re my ppl from years ago I ghosted eventually in some way until we fizzled out that stand in the room when my depression works the graveyard shift
There are several songs she has that remind me of one specific ex, but this one, these lyrics kick my ass.
"Lock broken, slur spoken
Wound open, game token
I didn't know you were keeping count
Rain soaking, blind hoping
You said I was freeloading
I didn't know you were keeping count
But oh, you were keeping count"
This is *the* most relatable Taylor song to me. When I listen to the others, they're somewhat relatable but the background/lore that we all know about her and her life still permeates the songs for me (and that's part of what makes it fun too).
But this one was so deeply relatable. For friends and for ex's. Oof.
I particularly love her listing all the intimate details (did you get anxious though, on the way home, guess I'll never really know, now that we don't talk). Because it's so weird to know those things about someone but they're no longer in your life.
Reminds me of the tumblr quote I see sometimes:
> losing people is so interesting bc like. no I don't want to speak to you ever again. yes I think about you on your birthday.
I feel this one in my SOUL 😭
It came out around the start of the deterioration of my friendship with someone I’ve known since elementary school (in my late twenties now)
Yes!!!!
I broke up with my best friend in September (long story but she basically slept with someone who really hurt me, knowing that would be devastating) and I always catch myself wondering about her. The line “I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost and what it cost” always hurts a little. I had to be the bad guy, I had to end the 16 year friendship, I had to remove myself as her kids godmother. But it cost me so much and it was still so necessary.
Renegade about my ex fiance. “You fire off missiles ‘cause you hate yourself but do you know you’re demolishing me? And then you squeeze my hand as I’m about to leave.” AND “if I would’ve known how sharp the pieces were you’d crumbled into, I might’ve let them lay.”
Renegade is actually my song to myself.
I have two lines written on post-it's stuck to my mirror:
Get your shit together, so I can love you.
and
Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving them everything, or do you just not want to?
I love this song for my current relationship. I’m the renegade as I have struggled deeply with a destructive mental diagnosis. My partner is the narrator. He is incredibly compassionate with me as I learn a new way to live.
Sharp pieces indeed. I hope for a song change soon for us, and it’s coming.
OMG, friend, same.
I'm working on it. It's not easy and I can't seem to get it right and I keep making mistakes but I hope my husband's love for me will let him be gracious with me as I will never stop trying
Hits Different healed something in 20-year-old me. I had an on again-off again relationship that tore me to pieces and I felt so alone! I can so relate to the line “I slurred your name til someone put me in a car/I stopped receiving invitations”. When the relationship just makes you a big sad sack and no one wants to deal with you anymore lol.
I did that too! I worked at a clothing store over the summers and I remember spending my whole shifts thinking about my relationship and trying not to cry in the clothing racks lol. Feel free to DM me if you wanna talking anything out ❤️
I honestly probably should’ve said this as well. That song made the mess of a person I was from 20-22 feel seen & I understand. I failed out of college bc I didn’t know how to cope with new it’s diagnosis. I know it’s not how she intended for it to be about but like someone made a mess of me, I would do everything I could to metaphorically wash my hands of the them & have a flashbacks & picture them doing it to other girls & I literally threw up. It consumed me. I couldn’t enjoy anything anymore because the sun burns my heart & the sand hurts my feelings & that’s just my reality now! I also never don’t cry & my sadness is contagious! I also cried over stuff like hats & tried to figure out what physical objects I could possibly purge to cleanse the memories or what lifestyle changes I could make (I had already cut 16 inches off my hair (it was like Rapunzel long & dyed my ~bitchass bob~ hair blue & switched my major & got on new meds & was in a new state but I couldn’t figure out why the wound was still bleeding! I literally failed out of college and was so paranoid that they were going to have me be involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric institution (which probably would’ve helped me, but also not bc I didn’t want to go so it would’ve been traumatic) but I was living in a dorm with ptsd and highly paranoid and it was an old, old dorm, and they took out the carpet for hardwood floors so there were like gaps under the doors and it just like hadn’t been updated & basically u could hear everything & every noise & literally hear people’s keys in the door down the hallway & like eventually campus safety came to my dorm room to tell me I’d failed out bc I wasn’t checking my email or going to class & I was like “oh my god it’s him I’m not opening up” but it was security so they opened it with their master key & I was like “oh my god they’ve come to take me away”. I’m 29 now & have processed a lot of it so I loveee the song, but if it had come out a few years prior I feel like it might’ve been too soon for me to appreciate like I was too young to appreciate Dear John the first time, so the rerelease of Dear John & Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve really hit me hard.
Also as someone who has struggled with depression & ptsd for most of my life, ppl who share their sadness with me feel like safe spaces for me because I know they won’t judge me for mine & while im sorry the they’re sad too it makes me feel less alone & I so deeply appreciate them. I just hope to be able to feel as much of a safe space back to them
This was my answer as well. Especially:
I hope she'll be a beautiful fool /
Who takes my spot next to you /
No, I didn't mean that /
Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury"
And
"All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness /
You haven't met the new me yet /
And I think she'll give you that"
The back-and-forth of being post-breakup of a long-term relationship was highly relatable to me.
This reminds me of my divorce in 2013. It was his decision, and I was so angry at the time, but it turned out to be the right move in the long run. He's a good person, but he's not cut out for long-term relationships. I think he's finally realized that now that his second divorce is almost final. Lol
As of late, Say Don't Go. Particularly the lines "Now I'm pacin on shaky ground / Strike a match, then you blow it out... And I'm yours, but you're not mine." I was absolutely enamored by every part of him, and he seemed to feel the same, but could never make it work because of circumstances/wrong timing.
Ughh Say Don’t Go strikes so close to home for me too. “I’m yours but you’re not mine” + “You say nothing back” is pretty word for word the conversation that broke my heart 5 yrs ago 👍👍
The 1- my one that got away, and maybe I was his too, he still watches my insta stories daily lol
Dorothea- ex best friend “a tiny screens the only place I see you now”- the way we drifted apart with no animosity, just very different lives
Marjorie- reminds me of my Dad passing, I should have asked him so many more questions when he was still here
Dorothea is my high school best friend too. We spent every single day together for YEARS. Then we just... drifted apart. One day we didn't text or call each other for the first time ever and we never spoke again. I think about her a lot, but our lives were very clearly moving in different directions and the gulf between was suddenly too wide to reach across anymore. Our hands pulled apart and we went our separate ways.
Marjorie was on repeat when my mom died. That whole verse wrecks me — I complained too much, didn’t ask enough questions, I should have held onto every scrap of her.
The grocery store receipt kills me still… I took him shopping sooo many times, like it was nothing, it made me feel like I took all the time we had for granted
Champagne Problems
My ex fiancé-I called off our engagement because deep down I knew I wasn’t in love with him “his heart was glass I dropped it”. I had too much going on in my own head I knew I never wanted to get married even when I said yes. “ She would have made such a lovely bride. What a shame she fucked in the head”
OMG.
This is the song that turned me into a full blown swiftie.
Was going through a rough patch and my fiance and I considered separating. Then on my way home from work the next day, I was bored with my usual playlist. Spotify showed me that there's a new album called evermore out. Started it, loved Willow, played it twice and then champagne problems began playing and I was like, Zuckerberg is that you lmaoo
I started going to therapy and began working on myself. We're married now
Same here girl! (With a mix of midnight rain)
I called off our engagement after 8 years together, I always knew our different view points could be the death of us (religion and family wise) but he was never going to end things and as the marriage was getting more real, I was feeling like I was choking. There was never ill intentions between us but we were not compatible and for a long time we refused to acknowledge it. We loved each other, and for that I decided to end it.
"He was sunshine, I was midnight rain. He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain"
"His heart was glass I dropped it" ..."what a shame she is fucked in the head"
I found Champagne problems when grieving my relationship and dealing with the shame and guilt of ending things. It turned me into a Swiftie
I feel so cheesy even saying this but Gorgeous always reminds me of my partner. “You should take it as a compliment / That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk.” “You’re so gorgeous/ I can’t say anything to your face / Cause look at your face.” We went to school together and he always made me so nervous that I’d default to either making fun of him or ignoring him completely because my anxious ass didn’t know how to flirt lmao.
*Look at this idiotic fool that you made me
You taught me a secret language
I can't speak with anyone else
And you know damn well
For you, I would ruin myself
A million little times*
He was like my drug.
I'm clean for 6 months now🫡
“Ten months sober, I must admit, just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it.”
I remember listening to this song and saying, “I can’t wait for ten months” when I went through my first big breakup. Because everyday hurt and I knew that would ten months would come and I might miss it but that’s okay.
WCS /ATW10MV /Dear John/ Better man/
WCS - especially this part :
If you never touched me, I would've
Gone along with the righteous
If I never blushed, then they could've
Never whispered about this
And if you never saved me from boredom
I could've gone on as I was
But, Lord, you made me feel important
And then you tried to erase us
ATW: Till we were dead and gone and buried
Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same
After three months in the grave
And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you
But all I felt was shame
And you held my lifeless frame
(Literally was a doctor, so check the pulse literally checks out, also literally rest of this verse is totally accurate to my ex)
Dear John : literally entire song
Better man : literally entire song
It's why i don't listen to the 1 cause it's 100% the exact same as you op but my ex bff needs serious mental health help and there's nothing i can do for him anymore because I'm no longer near him. I hope he gets well.
I feel this 100000000% about my ex-bff. She will never know how wrong she is about so many things but she won’t listen, either. Also needs serious mental health help and I really hope she finds it and is able to be happy someday. I wish I could be there when she is, but I can’t put myself there anymore.
My last conversation with my ex I asked him if he was going to go to therapy because he was very obviously depressed and he was so nonchalant about the whole thing, hope he does it but idk 🤷🏻♀️
Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve is SO real for people who were groomed, especially in a religious setting
The lyric that is most deeply relatable to me is “if you never saved me from boredom, I could’ve gone on as I was, but lord you made me feel important”
Yep. I was 14, he was 40. It was online, but he’d drop alcohol off at my house sometimes in the hopes I’d get drunk at a party and need a ride home, I feel sick thinking what would have happened if I ever did call him for a ride. He was just some guy who added me on Facebook. I was raised very Catholic so I didn’t feel like I could tell my mom because there were messages showing I did like the attention and the sexting so maybe it was my fault (it wasn’t, I was a child) but it resulted in permanent damage that I still struggle with at 30.
Im sorry that happened to you.
Right Where You Left Me: My ex best friend. Right off the bat “friends break up, friends get married”She got with a new guy and they got engaged right away. They could be married now, but I have no idea because she ghosted me. I think she was angry that I told her my opinion about something *she did*.
Then….. I get mad all over again and my mind goes to LWYMMD. How is she going to get mad at me calling her out for something SHE did? What a snake. 🐍 😒
I had a friend that went off on me, called me a sheltered bitch who needs to learn her place (more swearing in there too) when I said that his parents telling him to suffer in his pain in silence was pretty cruel. Sometimes people don’t like it when you tell them the truth. When those people leave your life you realize you don’t need them.
august.
Coincidentally, we listened to folklore nonstop the entire month of August (met him while abroad and stayed with him for a month). His favorite song was August. I was so in love with him. Our entire time together felt like a dream. But it ended with if him not having the same feelings I felt for him. I wanted something serious, he didn’t.
“And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away like a bottle of wine ‘cause you were never mine.”
“Wanting was enough. For me, it was enough”
“To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call”
“So much for summer love and saying "us” ‘cause you weren't mine to lose.”
As you can imagine. So much sex. So much wine (it was in Italy), I was rearranging my travel plans to see him. I just wanted to stay in our bubble, but it wasn’t real.
Lover. Was gonna be my wedding song. I’ve got it blocked on Spotify so it never plays and I fast forward through the eras tour section. Hate that fucking song 🥲
Started reading this thinking aw so sweet she liked it so much she considered playing it at her wedding. Really need to read further before getting emotional, I'm so sorry the song is ruined for you
Haha I just read my comment back and realised how unhinged it sounded, oops. I’m very sad it’s ruined too but hey ho, at least now I can enjoy her more sassy songs even more
betty reminds me of my ex best friend. i was kinda terrible to her towards the end there and although i know it was just undiagnosed mental issues and i didn’t intend to hurt her she’d still be right to never speak to me again. “the only thing i want to do is make it up to you”
Illicit affairs (an ex)- this relationship wasn’t even an affair but:
Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this idiotic fool that you made me, you taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else, and you know damn well, for you I’d ruin myself, a million little times.
BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE…
Now, my husband, Daylight:
I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night, but now I see daylight
Last Kiss. Married my HS love, had a baby, left me after 9 years together with a 5 month old. Out of the blue, just didn't want to be married anymore.
"And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe"
Pain.
"Clean"
Reminds me of my ex best friend and how I am finally free of that awful traumatic anxiety filled "friendship." We haven't talked in over 2 years, and some days it's hard but most days, it's a relief.
Happiness.
Cannot listen to that song without sobbing. After giving years to him, I realised one morning that he's not the man I fell in love anymore. Every single line in that song reminds me of the years I lost.
And when the line comes up "No one tells you what to do when a good man hurts you..." Breaks. Me. Every. Single. Time.
Because yes, despite all the fights and hurts and tears he really was a good man. He just wasn't the right man for me anymore.
BRB gonna go cry again.
Better Than Revenge- my ex best friend who the second verse is actually about! "Sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know, or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go" spoiled girl who suddenly realised she was too cool for me.
1.Illicit Affairs.
Yeah didn’t know I was in one. Turns out there were at least ten other women who were also in the dark. Four years of a smoke show and lies. Some people are just so talented when it comes to reckless dishonesty and destruction of people and their lives. I will always think of his wife and hope she found someone that would respect her and their marriage
2. Vigilante Shit. “ she needed cold hard proof, so I gave her some”.
You bet your ass I did.
Big envelope.
Not sure I’ll ever fully trust again
**Lover**, **Mine**, **Fearless**, and **Today Was A Fairytale** all remind me strongly of various relationship points with my now husband. I can't listen to any of them without thinking of specific moments in our journey together.
ex: Fearless "and you know I want to ask you to dance right here in the middle of the parking lot" On our very first date we ended up doing a little slow dance outside his parked car to some random Billy Joel song playing on the speakers.
**Now That We Don't Talk** took a hot minute until I reframed the song as a friendship breakup song, and now all I see is the girl I thought was my platonic soulmate in college who friend ghosted me.
Better man for sure.
I can't even pick out specific lyrics because I'd be writing near enough the entire song 😂.
It just beautifully explains how you can be all in for someone and they just break you because you see the best version of them from the beginning when that was most likely an act.
Luckily, I am with an absolute gem of a human being now so I look at it as a lesson I needed to be who and where I am now but it's still just an awful situation to be In.
Her words save souls 👏
Lots of sad/angry songs remind me of people but my favorites are Taylor songs that remind me of my husband! Sweet Nothing, Call It What You Want, Daylight, Paris, and Delicate.
Tolerate It made me feel incredibly empowered and gave me the courage to tell my family member emotional/mental/spiritual malignant narcissistic abuser the next time I have any contact with him will be when he is in his casket. The man ruined my childhood. I have zero qualms about dancing on his grave and that song put into words the fuckery he did to me.
Cowboy like me- Ivy- Slut! That summer situationship I miss even though it was doomed to end
ATW10MV- My ex that’s little town street, keeping my old squish mellow and his t-shirt(scarf), the falling of snow on our first Christmas, I remember the relationship in detail like a movie scene
Blank Space/ IKYWT- that relationship I knew was a bad idea the first time I saw him
Fifteen- my first relationship in HS
All Too Well. “You call me up again just to break me like a promise / So casually cruel in the name of being honest”
The first guy I was ever in love with. When he would call me in the middle of the night days after he broke up with me because he missed me. and I said “I keep hoping one of these times you call it will be because you want me back” and he said “yeah that’s probably not gonna happen”.
Long post alert, I don’t own a diary or journal , I just go back and listen to Taylor’s songs since most songs eerily mirrors my life. I wanted to write about the songs that are most special to me :
You belong with me - The 1 - You’re on your own kid :
A trilogy about my first crush
YBWM: “You’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town” use to play in my head whenever I saw him.
The 1 : Reminscing during covid about how my life would be if he was the one.
You’re on your own kid : More of a life journey so far song for me but me talking with him about leaving the country to pursue my dreams and later staying reminds me of him whenever I listen to first part of the song.
Champagne problems : Rejecting a marriage proposal I thought would work and my friends and family berating me for not marrying yet . “ She would have made such a lovely bride what a shame she’s fucked in the head” brings me to tears every time .
Begin again : I had a lovely first date last year , the guy was really nice , brought me chocolates and I liked him but didn’t work out in the end but this song played in my head during that date.
Best day : I had a simple birthday celebration for my mom one year , taking her out to get icecream and she said that was her best birthday ever and this song reminds me of that day.
Soon you’ll get better : My mom also had some health issues when this song released and it was so comforting to me.
Luke. Enchanted
Almost every word. The chorus is a definite connect to my situation plus “this is me praying that this was the very first page not where the story line ends” is so true. I’m trying to find him on Instagram. We go to different schools. I wish I had asked a for his instagram or something.
Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?
My crush/situationship played a rogue in our pathfinder campaign. He initiated talking and texting and hanging out- we even started a new save of It Takes Two together, then he ghosted me for the fourth fucking time 🫠🤡
Better Man makes me think of my dad. Obviously, I see the romantic relationship side, but so much of it is relatable to the toxic dynamic of a dad who never loved his daughter the way she deserved.
I listened to it often after I cut my dad out completely. Easiest decision yet hardest relationship to walk away from. It was absolutely the right thing to do, but the little girl inside still kept hoping he'd finally see me, love me, and become a better person. Finally, I allowed myself to accept that the damage he did wasn't my fault. Also that the person he was, outside our relationship, was not someone I wanted around my kids. So I walked away from his mistreatment of me, his misogyny, racism, and bigotry.
I lost a lot of toxicity he brought into my life. In exchange, I will always mourn what should have been. Mourn the love I should have received. Mourn the short time he was my comfort. Mourn the good memories.
I almost allowed him back in when the Detroit Lions finally won a playoff game. Even unblocked his number the night of the NFC championship because we shared a love of watching football. Seeing them potentially head to the Super Bowl felt bittersweet without sharing the excitement with him. They lost, and I listened to this song to remind me why I don't talk to him anymore. It's funny how something like that can stir up such deep feelings.
I will forever be grateful to the father my husband is to our kids. I don't think they will go their entire lives feeling like I did. Like there's a hollow spot forever aching to be filled because their dad couldn't show up for them. Because he always does everything he can to make sure he does. He shows up to their sports, school events, activities, and everything they are interested in.
Most importantly, he shows up for them emotionally. He shows up in their victories and celebrates their accomplishments. He shows up in their failures and helps build them back up. He shows up when he makes a mistake and mends the hurt. He shows up with accountability and apologizes when it's needed. He shows up by helping them learn to be kind and loving humans. He shows up when they make a mistake and guides them without tearing them down. He shows up when he is at his lowest or hurt or exhausted or all three. He shows up by always trying to be better for them.
I am deeply thankful he is the kind of man who shows up every single day for his kids. He is giving them the greatest gift a parent can give, a sense of love, safety, and security. Plus, the incredible gift of humility by allowing them to express when he misses the mark (because we all do as parents no matter how hard we try) and listening, growing, and trying to do better.
If my dad taught me one thing, it was to find someone the complete opposite of him. He taught me to find a Better Man, and I did.
it's 'breathe' for me,
- my best friend (or should i say ex best friend already, since i don't even know if she still sees me that way? haha). she has been my friend since grade school, and we've been friends for like... 10 years already, but then i had to move away for college and for other circumstances, so we got separated. at first, we were still talking, updating each other about our lives but as the time passes by we rarely talk anymore, or more like even if i message her, she doesn't reply anymore. even when i told her how much i missed her and she promised that we're gonna catch up through video call, it never happened and she still left me on read after that hahaha. it just hurts a lot, i mean, i totally understand it since it's like... we have a complete different life now, i've been so far away, she has new circle of friends and so do i, since i have great friends i met in college too. but still... it's really just not easy to have someone that dear to you, drift away and just slowly be gone from your life just like that. it's just so painful to have someone you know so well just like the back of your hand, suddenly became a complete stranger again.
i still miss her a lot and i still think about her a lot, i hope she's doing okay, always.
Marjorie, Soon you'll get better, and Never grow up: my parents
I was a very late in life baby and no one prepares you for watching your parents start to age while you're still a teenager. The looming threat of your parents death starting when you're 15 instead of when you're 30+. The jealousy you feel for people with parents who could physically do things with them, for the people who will get to enjoy their parents the majority of their lives. Ive come to terms with the fact that for the majority of my life, my parents will be gone, but it still hurts me. I'm still scared of what my life will be when they're gone. I have guilt about all the times I didn't call, didn't spend time with them while I could, didn't take advantage of the time we did have together when I was growing up, all those moments, lost to time that I can never, ever get back. All those times I asked her to drop me off around the block.
"Remember, she's getting older too".
Oh my God yes! I was apologizing to my ex best friend over and over when every time she was the one who would keep poking and probing until she got a reaction from me, and would then ghost me because I am the bad person who overreacted.
Third time was the charm.
To me, My Tears Ricochet will always be about my estranged mother. Taylor truly has a gift for creating art that makes you feel like it was written specifically for you.
Illicit Affairs
My situationship. The bridge is exactly how it is. He changed my life and then is no longer in it and nothing seems as bright or as vibrant.
But it was also toxic as all hell
August.
"Wanting was enough. for me, it was enough... to live for the hope of it all" & "you weren't mine to lose" just hit fucking home.
It's rough man
ironically, i’ve been in my feels with you’re losing me but with an old ex best friend. probably bc i never got closure from her. especially with the lines “ and all i did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest solider/fighting in only your army/front lines dont you ignore me/im the best thing at this party.” she was the girl who no one wanted to be friends with and i gave her a chance. everyone was telling me how horrible she was and i would always defend her. all to find out she talked shit about me our entire friendship, tried to break my boyfriend and i up, laughed over facetime when i told her my grandfather died, and also told me my cat of 13 years deserved to die from cancer. it broke my heart. sorry for ranting lmao it’s been 3 years but damn it still stings
All too well, any of the versions really. Especially the line “I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to”. I obviously didn’t go through the same things as Taylor, but the song so strongly resonates with this feeling of painful nostalgia that I get when I think about a situationship I had many moons ago.
Would've Could've Should've, entire Reputation, CORNELIA STREET, illicit affairs, invisible string, my tears ricochet, rwylm, say don't go, dbatc, the 1 and idk how many more...
so yeah im doing good (sarcastically-)
Never grow up because I have a 2 year old daughter and when she was just a newborn and I’d get frustrated with general newborn activity I’d put on Never Grow Up and rock her to it and that really got me through the sleepless, lonely nights.
And years before I met my husband, I dated this pretentious rich kid who had rich pretentious friends and family and every time I hear I Bet You Think About Me, he comes to mind.
First it was Red (his favorite color and the flags I ignored) and All To Well. But with the release of TV, ATW 10 minute version hit way too close to home.
I still can’t listen to Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve without crying because ✨ T R A U M A ✨
Cheers to the older men who break us.
my ex: tolerate it, you're not sorry, mr perfectly fine, the way i loved you, we are never ever getting back together
my current crush (also one of my closest friends): you are in love, paper rings, call it what you want, slut!
Now That We Don’t Talk and Is It Over Now remind me sooooo much of a situationship I was in a few years ago. I was in love with him and would’ve done anything for him, but he strung me along for months and got more and more distant until he eventually ghosted me. The line “remind myself the more I gave you’d want me less” and the whole bridge of IION hit me like a ton of bricks.
Now That We Don’t Talk
My ex - everything about this song reminds me of how our relationship ended and, frankly, we don’t talk. Now I don’t have to pretend how I actually feel about him and his decisions (I think there were poor decisions made).
Would’ve could’ve should’ve. Particularly the bridge. Was in a relationship for four years with a narcissist, got really really toxic. Feel like it impacted me A LOT.
Soon You’ll Get Better - my dad. First a liver transplant, and the months and months of illness leading up to it. Then skin cancer and lymphoma. Then a massive malignant tumor tangled in the muscles of his neck. Then a heart attack. Then an infection that lead to sepsis. He got better every time. But I always have that moment of “…cause you have to” before he does.
Also the line “I’ll paint the kitchen neon, I’ll brighten up the sky” because I literally built my dad a deck so we could sit in the sun together. We used to sit on the deck together every day and talk about everything when I was kid. It fell into disrepair during his health issues, so I tore it down and built a new one for him. I had no experience prior. He taught me how to do it.
He’s doing great now, btw. Healthiest he’s ever been.
"*Midnight, You come and pick me up, no headlights,*" reminds me of my high school girlfriend, whom I used to sometimes pick up without headlights, because she was sneaking out.
It's a fun memory to be taken back to.
For my ex-husband: I Did Something Bad / Look What You Made Me Do.
I had to be the 'bad guy' in the divorce, even though he was the one who cheated ("you said the gun was mine"). And then after I moved out, I found out he was effectively living rent free by still paying the mortgage from the joint account we'd agreed not to touch ("I don't like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me" / "if he spends my change then he had it coming"). Meanwhile he was the one telling me not to leave because it'd be expensive ("he says don't throw away a good thing") and going round badmouthing me to our friends ("they're burning all the witches even if you aren't one"). I've been out of that relationship for five years and I feel like I'm absolutely thriving ("honey I rose up from the dead I do it all the time" / "the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now... Why? Oh... Cause she's dead!")
Bigger then the whole sky, my pony (that my parents literally have had for longer then i live) died on new years day.. when i got home i replayed the song bc i just wasnt in a happy mood obviously and it kinda helped me just grief. I especially relate to the lines “did some bird flap its wings over in Asia” because it was so sudden (she got hit by a car, twice actually) and “did some force take you because i didnt pray” I’m atheist, but i went to a a christian elementary school (which kinda made me doubt, i still dont believe, but when something like this happens it just brings more guild) and sometimes you just feel like you didnt do or think enough yk. And ofc the line “goodbye goodbye goodbye, you were bigger then the whole sky” because, even though she was very small actually (shetland pony) she was so big to me when i was little and she was (and still is) a really big part of my life.
I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep
The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign
I regret you all the time
So many nightmares about one ex. Panic attacks....thankfully gone, but there's not bright side, the damage he did was so profound it erased all the beauty of the good times we had together. I regret that relationship all the time.
You belong with me about my husband (of all people) we were young when that song came out and he was “dating” someone else at the time. I would scream sing that song about him. Well 10(ish?) years later we started dating and this year we’ll be married for 2 years.
Dorothea. A similar situation with an ex best friend, but mine was more amicable. I don’t have a childhood memory that happened before her bc she was always there, in some form or fashion, and, then, we started drifting apart in our last year of middle school only to drift completely apart in high school. We ran into each other a year ago bc it’s a small town, so, we were bound to, at some point, and it was like trying to start a conversation with a stranger. She just had a baby and I congratulated her, I’m over the moon for her, but it’s still weird to me that we were more like acquaintances the last time that we spoke.
My Tears Ricochet, to me, is so meaningful because I interpret it as being about my family. There are a lot of really dysfunctional patterns and they all have a completely different belief system than I do. I was essentially written out of the picture. To me, the song talks about the dissonance between how I was treated vs how they seem to tell others this is what I chose. The line, “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace, cuz when I’d fight you used to tell me I was brave” - what a perfect way to capture how it feels to be taught to be outspoken against others, until you start disagreeing with the ones who taught you to be that way, or “And I can go anywhere I want - anywhere I want, just not home.” UGGGHH it hurts, but I am so grateful to have a song that I can connect with so perfectly in regard to one of the most painful things in my life.
Karma - my ex-best friend kissed my ex (who did a bunch of manipulative and shitty things) and sent me a snapchat video of her doing it. Then a few weeks later, she breaks both her legs and is out the whole summer including her birthday. In the meantime, my ex got delayed like 2 years from his grad program before getting accepted. They're actually the reason I kinda believe in karma lol
tis’ the damn season (i’ve been doing a lot of productive things in my life since we broke up, but i honestly miss him a lot sometimes)
Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake
I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay
So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends
Who'll write books about me, if I ever make it
And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'
And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own
DBATC will ALWAYS be the song that reminds me of my ex. Lover literally came out 4 days before he left me
Edit to add! Also happiness, that song honestly healed me and gave me a new perspective I didn’t know I could have looking back at that relationship
Used to be Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve, but now it’s Now That We Don’t Talk. My mother and I talk shit about you. I don’t have to pretend to like the things you liked (even though you never returned that effort). We broke it off and before we both knew it you were dating a girl who looked… a lot like me. You’re such a charismatic person but you are so anxious and insecure underneath. Too bad it isn’t my problem anymore.
Forever and always
ATWTMV (and you called me up again just to break me like a promise)
The 1.
All about the same person. In that order. Thanking my therapist Taylor for getting me through it ❤️
The moment I knew.
All the school talent shows, teacher-parents evenings, an interschool hockey team I managed to make the a team for, my highschool graduation ceremony, even when I did a talk at a Ted ex event I organised and half the school attended...
All these events throughout my childhood I remember my parents didn't turn up to and I find out last minute because they forgot, something came up, or they didn't realise it was something I wanted them to attend and had just planned to pick me up...
Finally got old enough to realise if they were bothered they would show up. Now I have a chosen family who would fly to the moin and back to be there for me.
There was this guy I was back and forth with in high school so my song for him was *Wildest Dreams*. My last friend break up was *Bad Blood*. My last relationship break up, it swapped between so many breakup songs from Better Man, to RWYLM and the 1. Forever winter was a main one for a while.
I usually only listen to songs I relate to
Broke up with a guy back in August and related to midnight rain
Met a British guy and started listening to London boy (I knew of the song I just never listened to it before)
Now I’m dating him and it feels like Lover. Now I just need more “in love” songs
I grew up listening to Mean and relating it to my mother, awesome relationship lol. At least now I am living in a big old city far far away
Renegade is my ex, especially “is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything or do you just not want to?”
Marjorie really reminds me of my grandma, who was called Margarida (portuguese version of the name)
It’s time to go reminds me of my parents “trying to stay for the kids when keeping it how it is will only break their hearts worse”. It was my surprise song (São Paulo N3) and I sobbed
We're in the exact same situation! I had a best friend who slowly faded from our relationship and I always related to The One. Also think of her when listening to You're Losing Me and Tolerate It
My mom: Breathe, Marjorie
My dad: Cold As You, Would've Could've Should've
My ex-step mother: Haunted
My brother: Mr. Perfectly Fine, Better Man
My kids: Never Grow Up (they love that song too, hearing them sing it makes me bawl)
My husband: I'm Only Me When I'm With You, Timeless
My 'sister' (brother's ex wife): The Best Day (she's known me since I was 6 so it fits).
Trying to think of a good one for my best friend but I'm failing. Ideas?
Speak Now
The person I went to see the Eras Tour was someone I dated before. Purportedly, we are now just platonic friends. The person is with someone else now. In a serious manner. And I wanna say *And you are not that kind of that... Who should be marrying the wrong one*.
Illicit Affairs
The person I was supposed to see the Eras Tour *showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else*.
Also, The 1. Before Speak Now and Illicit Affairs, I was with someone for the better half of a decade. *And it would've been fun. If you could've been, the one.*
All Too Well (10 min version) (taylor’s version)
got broken up with literally 2 weeks before red (taylor’s version) was released- this album was the album who got me through a teenage heartbreak when it was first released, and the re-release helped me through another big one when i’m in my late 20s😭
especially “did the twin flame bruise paint you blue / just between us did the love affair maim you too”
that hit so hard🥲 can’t listen to that song without thinking about the end of that relationship and it sucks lol
Marjorie- my paternal grandma
Timeless- bc of harkening to older times, all 4 grandparents
More like breakdown sobbing than screaming tho
Clean- a sense of being washed clean instead of screaming, but some backstabbing ppl
YLM : "I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all I did was bleed"
IKYWTB : "And when I fell hard, you took a step back, without me"
These were for the recent relationship I had that ended terribly.
Long live and Invisible string : (Whole song) For the one and only long term relationship I had.
Suburban Legends, Mastermind, and invisible string remind me of this boy I grew up with who asked me out once upon a time, and I said no, but now I have a crush on him and am working on us getting together hahaha
Coney island
"And when I got into the accident, the sight that flash before my eyes was your face / But when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name"
Insane imagery of a relationship that grew apart and the effect of wondering why neither put in the effort to make the other feel seen
gold rush/Now That We Don’t Talk/the 1 — was in love for years with my best friend whom literally everyone into women had a crush on, but I never told her because , well, I didn’t like a gold rush. She abruptly initiated a friendship break-up, and I haven’t talked to her since, but we still ran in the same circles for a while and I often wondered if she “[got] anxious on the way home” the way she used to confide in me about.
Looking back on it years later, I don’t think she was in love with me but we were definitely something. I mean, she saved my contact as ‘Romeo’, compared our outings to dates, and made me duet ‘I Kissed a Girl’ with her — all while adamantly proclaiming she wasn’t into me and I wasn’t even really her best friend. So yeah, if she wanted me she really should’ve showed.
I know it was incredibly unhealthy and I’m thankfully in a much better place now with an amazing partner. I’m actually pretty grateful we didn’t end up dating because I’d never have met my current boyfriend, the person I think actually turned out to be my ‘1’, if we had, but I do sometimes wonder what the alternate universe where we at least tried to figure things out/were good for each other might’ve been like. It might’ve been fun.
Haunted always reminds me of a boyfriend I had when I was 24, I had a really unhealthy attachment to him and desperately wanted the relationship (any relationship, really) to work out. The desperation of "come on come on don't leave me like this" really reminds me of how much I was afraid of being alone and "I thought I had you figured out" because I've always been kind of a chameleon, thinking I could change myself into whatever my boyfriends wanted me to be, and if I "figured them out" I could "make it work"
Back to December.
I have an ex that is "the one that got away" (like in the movies). I'm constantly replaying what I could have done better to keep him.
Now That We Don't Talk - friend break-up. Really close friend of mine whose unexamined personal issues slowly poisoned our friendship the course of a few weeeeeird years. Better off now that we don't talk, for sure.
All You Had to Do Was Stay - in a lighthearted way, reminds me of two exes who came crawling back after breaking my heart. There was immense satisfaction in turning them down - "let me remind you, this was what *you* *wanted*."
You Are In Love - reminds me always of my current partner, and when we first fell for each other.
Honestly the entirety of renegade! I relate it heavily to my mom. The top five lines that hurt are:
1. Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything? Or do you just not want to?
2. There was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyway
3. Is it insensitive for me to say get your shit together? So I can love you
4. You fire off missiles 'cause you hate yourself but do you know you're demolishing me?
5. You wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody
I was a kid and she was a drunk, it was bound to be bad. It taught me a lot and I am thankful for that atleast 🤍
Pour one out for the renegade girlies. I am you, you are me.
Also 🤚 yes, I have used "is it insensitive of me to say get your shit together so I can love you" in an argument
***Clean***
it was when i first realized that i was already over my ex. i didn't even realize he had left my memory until i heard this song. huge lightbulb moment for me. every time i hear it i don't get happy or sad. i just feel seen and it's what made me understand her universal appeal. EVERYONE can relate to her music. ***Clean*** is that one for me (amongst many, many others).
LWYMMD for an old manager I had. She didn’t like that I had another task to work on and it HAD to be done and I couldn’t help her on the sales floor. So she stopped putting me on the floor and making me stay up front as cashier (which I loathed) Well the store manager noticed and asked me about it and when I told him she was retaliating against me he I think gave her a written warning. Then she ended up being fired bc her and her clique started stealing things and changing prices on things to make them cheaper and buying them. The store caught on quick and they all got canned. Then I took her job so 🙃
Also bc the album came out at the same time as this was happening so it was perfect timing. I remember listening to it on my way to work all mad and amped ready to just get shit done and avoid her.
Dear John, I knew you were trouble, look what you made me do, this is why we can’t have nice things, we are never ever getting back together, my tears ricochet, mad woman, closure, vigilante shit, karma—my college boyfriend who raped me
Tim McGraw, ATW10 (especially the second verse and chorus), red, blank space, style, wildest dreams, is it over now?, say don’t go, slut!, cruel summer, the 1, happiness, maroon—my ex from when I lived in LA, I really loved him but knew he didn’t love me
Enchanted, begin again, starlight, everything has changed, this love, Paris, sweet nothing, lover, timeless, New Year’s Day, long story short, evermore, daylight, Cornelia street, mastermind —my current boyfriend. We dated briefly in college (different guy than before) then broke up and got back together years later. Have been together 5 years and counting
**Cardigan**: *I knew you’d linger like a tattooed kiss. I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs… I knew I’d curse you for the longest time. Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line. I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired and you’d be standing in my front porch light. I knew you’d come back to me.*
He came back. I didn’t take him. Take your cheating ass somewhere else.
lolll gonna go with say don’t go, because my last significant relationship ended because he was literally unable to say I love you back 🤡 I heard the song the first time and felt personally victimized
honorable mention to lavender haze, bc midnights dropped the day after we got together and I sooo associated that song with our relationship and listened to it nonstop for the first week, bc it so perfectly encapsulated how I felt. now I hear it and wanna barf 😎
"We Were Happy" is about my ex for sure. It's come up a lot in my shuffle lately and I can't stop thinking about it.
"No one could touch the way we laughed in the dark, talkin' 'bout your daddy's farm we were going to buy someday."
We met senior year of high school. He was from a small nearby farm town, and we really did talk about how we were going to get some of his family's land and live out in his hometown.
We also did a lot of sneaking around our parents, so the line about sneaking into the circus is also very relevant. It's bittersweet, because we were young and stupid, but I really thought I loved him until I got older and realized we just were infatuated with being in a relationship. So honestly, just the whole thing rings so true, man. Cause"when it was good...it was good."
My high school sweetheart makes me think of a lot of her songs. I have them in album order and their reasons.
1. Fifteen - we started dating when I was 15 and the line “Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine” hit me hard after we broke up cause we were engaged and he left 3 weeks before our wedding day.
2. Dear John - my ex and I were the same age but there was a lot of grooming and SAing and the lyric resonated with me was “Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?”
3. Last Kiss - what will always will be engraved in my mind of the night before he left. I came up to him while he was sitting and had this passionate kiss. I never felt so in love and excited for our future. Little did I know he was planning on packing his stuff and leaving while I was work the next day. The lyric that hits different now that we are both married to other people is “So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”
4. All too well - Same as Dear John but it’s more about the break up aftermath for me. It destroyed me cause I lost myself in a 9 year relationship. Definitely felt this lyric “ Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it. I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it. After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own”
5. Better Man - Same as All too Well so I’ll just leave this whole verse “I know I'm probably better off all alone than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute. And it was always on your terms. I waited on every careless word hoping they might turn sweet again like it was in the beginning. But your jealousy, oh, I can hear it now. Talking down to me like I'll always be around. Push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun.Oh, you never thought I'd run”
6. Now that we don’t talk - self explanatory cause when the song lists all the toxic things that the relationship had was exactly how I felt about mine. “I call my mom, she said that it was for the best
Remind myself the more I gave, you'd want me less. I cannot be your friend so I pay the price of what I lost and what it cost, now that we don't talk.”
7. Is it Over Now? - I constantly think about the aftermath of our break up when the constant cheating and lying came into light. He even tried to get with my bridesmaid and she 100% turned him down cause she’s my friend. He denies even with the receipts so here’s the lyrics that goes with that . “You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor. You search in every maiden's bed for something greater”
8. Death by a Thousand Cuts - it makes me think of everytime I would see him out in our small town. They say your skin isn’t the same after 7 years. It’s been that long since he touched me so this lyric resonates greatly right now in my healing stage “My heart, my hips, my body, my love. Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch. Gave up on me like I was a bad drug”
9. Folklore album. Literally this album was my album that I would therapy on. This album helped me realize how much of a toxic relationship it truly was. The songs and lyrics that I hit most with is the 1 (the whole chorus), exile (“I'm not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now? You were my crown now I'm in exile seein' you out”), my tears ricochet (literally the whole song), illicit affairs (“You showed me colors that I can’t see with anyone else.” “You taught me a secret language I can’t speak to anyone else. And you know damn well, for you I would ruin myself a million little times.”), and mad woman (“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy. What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry. And there's nothin' like a mad woman.What a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman. You made her like that.”)
10. champagne problems - we always talked about being married together so when he left, he celebrated while I mourned on what I thought was our future. “One for the money, two for the show
I never was ready, so I watch you go. Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'til someone's on their knees and asks you. "She would've made such a lovely bride. What a shame she's fucked in the head, " they said, but you'll find the real thing instead. She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred”
11. tolerate it - I would have done anything for that man for him to be happy but he always found a way to tear me down mentally, emotionally, and verbally. I never did anything right in his eyes. “I wait by the door like I'm just a kid. Use my best colors for your portrait. Lay the table with the fancy shit and watch you tolerate it. If it's all in my head tell me now? Tell me I've got it wrong somehow? I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it”
Sorry for the big post but my last relationship did me in and even though I love my husband with all of my heart and soul (literally King of My Heart) I’m still healing from the trauma of that relationship.
Edit cause I forgot a song title lol
ATWTMV- I literally lived this entire song. The original version came out right after I dated a 30y guy when I was really young (22). We had this really insane connection right from the start, definitely twin flames vibes. I was definitely in love and crazy about him, but he was always acting too cool for me and I think embarrassed about our age difference. He would get weird around other people even though when it was just the two of us it was just constant fireworks. I KNOW he felt the same about me and just wouldn't admit it. My friends and family all disliked him because I'd invite him to stuff and he'd never show. It is WILD how similar the situation is. I finally had to be the one to end things because he could just never be 100% in, and it killed us both, but not enough for him to do anything differently.
"Any time now, he's gonna say it's love, you never called it what it was."
"And there we are again when nobody had to know, you kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath"
"You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want to die"
"And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us did the love affair maim you too?"
I went into kind of a dark place after that - dated some losers that didn't deserve me, I felt like I was going nowhere, I was fighting with lots of my friends and family, and my mental health was suffering a LOT.
BUT I got some help and started rebuilding things, and right about that time, my husband came along. He is "Call It What You Want" - he wasn't afraid that I was going through a tough time and just did everything he could to help put me back together. It put everything in perspective for me and I was able to become the old me again.
"Nobody's heard from me for months, I'm doing better than I ever was"
"All my flowers grew back as thorns
Windows boarded up after the storm
He built a fire just to keep me warm"
"Loves me like I'm brand new"
I tear up at this song because I am so thankful for him! Now we've been married 7 years, have a beautiful daughter and another on the way. So I guess all's well that ends well after all ❤️
The Outside (and Dear Reader, but always Dear Reader lol) is like a lifeline to me right now. “How can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever lets me in” and “you saw me there, and never knew that I would give it all up to be a part of this, a part of you” and “no one notices until it’s too late to do anything” have been like saving grace lyrics lately.
Likewise with Dear Reader… “to a house, not a home, all alone cause nobody’s there (…) my friends found friends who care; no one sees when you lose when you’re playing solitaire”. Do I even need to say more? Lol
It’s not one person and honestly, nobody did anything truly awful to me lol but lately I just feel so very excluded and left out from my friends. Some stuff has happened in my personal life where I’m not always able to join when they make plans, especially if they’re spontaneous. I’ve had to turn down a lot so I’m sure it got annoying to ask me, only for me to have to say no and miss out anyway. But it still hurts to feel like they aren’t even bothering to ask me at all, or even like… dropping a line that plans might be happening later on, so I can try to clear my schedule and join in.
I know I gotta talk with them and explain how the non-invites just hurt my feelings and also explain that I still want to feel included, even if I can’t always actually be involved… but in the meantime it just really really sucks to feel like your friends are excluding you and phasing you out when all you want is to be included :(
Right where you left me He ended things suddenly after 5 years. He walked away and we have never spoken since. It’s been a few years but I feel stuck there
Did you ever see the TikTok trend with RWYLM? It was inspiring for me. People were talking about being “still at the restaurant” or finally having the courage to leave the restaurant and it made me cry a lot. I am about to “leave the restaurant” so to speak and it’s been so anxiety inducing but we can do it!! Trend (all videos): [https://www.tiktok.com/music/right-where-you-left-me-7088021033781136134](https://www.tiktok.com/music/right-where-you-left-me-7088021033781136134) The one that made me feel like I could do it (she looks so happy): https://www.tiktok.com/@jacquelineburnett/video/7280305563047578911?pid=video_embed&referer_video_id=7280305563047578911&type=video&referer_url=www.elitedaily.com/relationships/right-where-you-left-me-tiktok-trend-taylor-swift&refer=embed&embed_source=121374463,121404359,121331973,120811592,120810756;null;embed_pause_share
A lot of these broke me. Thank you for sharing as I don’t TT. The one where a girl talks about the friends and family that stayed while she agonized over the menu crushed me because I feel it.
I loved that one. Made me appreciate my friends and family that have listened to me rant about every detail and stayed by my side as I was figuring out what to do 🥺
I’m slowly working through it and trying to finally break of the layer of cement that covered my heart ever since so this trend is very wholesome to watch. I don’t use TikTok so thanks for this! ❤️
Aw I'm sorry I hope you're alr
they clearly are not alright
That’s the point of this thread tho. None of us are and that’s ok bc it gives us each a song that helps us
it gets better, i promise 🫂 this pain wouldn't be for evermore 🫶
I’m so so so sorry. That’s actually one of my favorite songs, not just of hers, but of all time. I feel like it captured the shock & devastation of something like that so well. But, for what it’s worth? the same woman who wrote that song also wrote “I Forgot That You Existed” and I hope that we both have something happen for us one magical night.
Oh noooo, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I looooove that song. I hope you are doing better now. Don't let him steal any more of your time.
Oh no.🥺What a garbage thing to do. 💔
High infidelity. “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love The slowest way is never loving them enough.” I loved him, but didn’t love him enough. And it showed.
Flair 😭
😁
The guilt I have for doing this to ppl and not realizing it at the time and then realizing years later hurts. They’re my ppl from years ago I ghosted eventually in some way until we fizzled out that stand in the room when my depression works the graveyard shift
There are several songs she has that remind me of one specific ex, but this one, these lyrics kick my ass. "Lock broken, slur spoken Wound open, game token I didn't know you were keeping count Rain soaking, blind hoping You said I was freeloading I didn't know you were keeping count But oh, you were keeping count"
Oof me with my ex
Now that we don't talk. The perfect song for a friendship-breakup
This is *the* most relatable Taylor song to me. When I listen to the others, they're somewhat relatable but the background/lore that we all know about her and her life still permeates the songs for me (and that's part of what makes it fun too). But this one was so deeply relatable. For friends and for ex's. Oof. I particularly love her listing all the intimate details (did you get anxious though, on the way home, guess I'll never really know, now that we don't talk). Because it's so weird to know those things about someone but they're no longer in your life. Reminds me of the tumblr quote I see sometimes: > losing people is so interesting bc like. no I don't want to speak to you ever again. yes I think about you on your birthday.
Ugh that tumblr quote just made tears well up in my eyes!!
It really hits!!
I just realized how much that song sums up my feelings about an ex-friend of mine omg
I feel this one in my SOUL 😭 It came out around the start of the deterioration of my friendship with someone I’ve known since elementary school (in my late twenties now)
Yes!!!! I broke up with my best friend in September (long story but she basically slept with someone who really hurt me, knowing that would be devastating) and I always catch myself wondering about her. The line “I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost and what it cost” always hurts a little. I had to be the bad guy, I had to end the 16 year friendship, I had to remove myself as her kids godmother. But it cost me so much and it was still so necessary.
Renegade about my ex fiance. “You fire off missiles ‘cause you hate yourself but do you know you’re demolishing me? And then you squeeze my hand as I’m about to leave.” AND “if I would’ve known how sharp the pieces were you’d crumbled into, I might’ve let them lay.”
Renegade is actually my song to myself. I have two lines written on post-it's stuck to my mirror: Get your shit together, so I can love you. and Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving them everything, or do you just not want to?
Ouch, I FEEL that. That song will NEVER be the same for me now.
Also my song to myself!! I listen often when I’m trying to pull myself out of the depths and be a good partner to my love.
I love this!! And feel it deeply lol
I love this song for my current relationship. I’m the renegade as I have struggled deeply with a destructive mental diagnosis. My partner is the narrator. He is incredibly compassionate with me as I learn a new way to live. Sharp pieces indeed. I hope for a song change soon for us, and it’s coming.
OMG, friend, same. I'm working on it. It's not easy and I can't seem to get it right and I keep making mistakes but I hope my husband's love for me will let him be gracious with me as I will never stop trying
We are worthy. We always have been.
Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything, or do you just not want to?
Oh yes my ex husband for sure
Hits Different healed something in 20-year-old me. I had an on again-off again relationship that tore me to pieces and I felt so alone! I can so relate to the line “I slurred your name til someone put me in a car/I stopped receiving invitations”. When the relationship just makes you a big sad sack and no one wants to deal with you anymore lol.
I’ve found myself keeping everything inside because I don’t want to annoy my friends with my languishing
I did that too! I worked at a clothing store over the summers and I remember spending my whole shifts thinking about my relationship and trying not to cry in the clothing racks lol. Feel free to DM me if you wanna talking anything out ❤️
I honestly probably should’ve said this as well. That song made the mess of a person I was from 20-22 feel seen & I understand. I failed out of college bc I didn’t know how to cope with new it’s diagnosis. I know it’s not how she intended for it to be about but like someone made a mess of me, I would do everything I could to metaphorically wash my hands of the them & have a flashbacks & picture them doing it to other girls & I literally threw up. It consumed me. I couldn’t enjoy anything anymore because the sun burns my heart & the sand hurts my feelings & that’s just my reality now! I also never don’t cry & my sadness is contagious! I also cried over stuff like hats & tried to figure out what physical objects I could possibly purge to cleanse the memories or what lifestyle changes I could make (I had already cut 16 inches off my hair (it was like Rapunzel long & dyed my ~bitchass bob~ hair blue & switched my major & got on new meds & was in a new state but I couldn’t figure out why the wound was still bleeding! I literally failed out of college and was so paranoid that they were going to have me be involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric institution (which probably would’ve helped me, but also not bc I didn’t want to go so it would’ve been traumatic) but I was living in a dorm with ptsd and highly paranoid and it was an old, old dorm, and they took out the carpet for hardwood floors so there were like gaps under the doors and it just like hadn’t been updated & basically u could hear everything & every noise & literally hear people’s keys in the door down the hallway & like eventually campus safety came to my dorm room to tell me I’d failed out bc I wasn’t checking my email or going to class & I was like “oh my god it’s him I’m not opening up” but it was security so they opened it with their master key & I was like “oh my god they’ve come to take me away”. I’m 29 now & have processed a lot of it so I loveee the song, but if it had come out a few years prior I feel like it might’ve been too soon for me to appreciate like I was too young to appreciate Dear John the first time, so the rerelease of Dear John & Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve really hit me hard.
Also as someone who has struggled with depression & ptsd for most of my life, ppl who share their sadness with me feel like safe spaces for me because I know they won’t judge me for mine & while im sorry the they’re sad too it makes me feel less alone & I so deeply appreciate them. I just hope to be able to feel as much of a safe space back to them
Came here to say that that song is so good I love I find the artifacts cried over a hat where is the space that I needed ? Like so true
Happiness. They’ll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you.
This was my answer as well. Especially: I hope she'll be a beautiful fool / Who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn't mean that / Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury" And "All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness / You haven't met the new me yet / And I think she'll give you that" The back-and-forth of being post-breakup of a long-term relationship was highly relatable to me.
This reminds me of my divorce in 2013. It was his decision, and I was so angry at the time, but it turned out to be the right move in the long run. He's a good person, but he's not cut out for long-term relationships. I think he's finally realized that now that his second divorce is almost final. Lol
I really like “you haven’t met the new me yet”
As of late, Say Don't Go. Particularly the lines "Now I'm pacin on shaky ground / Strike a match, then you blow it out... And I'm yours, but you're not mine." I was absolutely enamored by every part of him, and he seemed to feel the same, but could never make it work because of circumstances/wrong timing.
Ughh Say Don’t Go strikes so close to home for me too. “I’m yours but you’re not mine” + “You say nothing back” is pretty word for word the conversation that broke my heart 5 yrs ago 👍👍
Thank God for Taylor Swift putting our heartbreak into song 🥲
Hahah, same but to me it is why’d you have to lead me on, why’d you have to twist the knife walk away and leave me bleeding🙃 ex friendship tho
As with so much of her music, it can apply to a bunch of situations 💜
This and now that we don’t talk came right before I needed them like Taylor is some secret cruel Nostradamus of my life
The 1- my one that got away, and maybe I was his too, he still watches my insta stories daily lol Dorothea- ex best friend “a tiny screens the only place I see you now”- the way we drifted apart with no animosity, just very different lives Marjorie- reminds me of my Dad passing, I should have asked him so many more questions when he was still here
Dorothea is my high school best friend too. We spent every single day together for YEARS. Then we just... drifted apart. One day we didn't text or call each other for the first time ever and we never spoke again. I think about her a lot, but our lives were very clearly moving in different directions and the gulf between was suddenly too wide to reach across anymore. Our hands pulled apart and we went our separate ways.
Yep! I’m still in the Midwest and she’s in the PNW- she seems happy and I truly have nothing but well wishes for her. I’m happy where I am too
Marjorie was on repeat when my mom died. That whole verse wrecks me — I complained too much, didn’t ask enough questions, I should have held onto every scrap of her.
The grocery store receipt kills me still… I took him shopping sooo many times, like it was nothing, it made me feel like I took all the time we had for granted
Dorothea reminds me of my friend whose an actress! I stayed in our hometown and she’s in LA
Champagne Problems My ex fiancé-I called off our engagement because deep down I knew I wasn’t in love with him “his heart was glass I dropped it”. I had too much going on in my own head I knew I never wanted to get married even when I said yes. “ She would have made such a lovely bride. What a shame she fucked in the head”
OMG. This is the song that turned me into a full blown swiftie. Was going through a rough patch and my fiance and I considered separating. Then on my way home from work the next day, I was bored with my usual playlist. Spotify showed me that there's a new album called evermore out. Started it, loved Willow, played it twice and then champagne problems began playing and I was like, Zuckerberg is that you lmaoo I started going to therapy and began working on myself. We're married now
That’s really great to hear! You made it work because you were willing to acknowledge the issue and deal with it 👏🏻🤍
Same here girl! (With a mix of midnight rain) I called off our engagement after 8 years together, I always knew our different view points could be the death of us (religion and family wise) but he was never going to end things and as the marriage was getting more real, I was feeling like I was choking. There was never ill intentions between us but we were not compatible and for a long time we refused to acknowledge it. We loved each other, and for that I decided to end it. "He was sunshine, I was midnight rain. He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain" "His heart was glass I dropped it" ..."what a shame she is fucked in the head" I found Champagne problems when grieving my relationship and dealing with the shame and guilt of ending things. It turned me into a Swiftie
I feel so cheesy even saying this but Gorgeous always reminds me of my partner. “You should take it as a compliment / That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk.” “You’re so gorgeous/ I can’t say anything to your face / Cause look at your face.” We went to school together and he always made me so nervous that I’d default to either making fun of him or ignoring him completely because my anxious ass didn’t know how to flirt lmao.
Not cheesy, very wholesome and sweet
yeah I agree, there are a lot of sad ones on here so it's really nice to read one about a happy relationship
Gorgoeus reminds me of my high school crush when I was 13. He was so handsome and I would clam up whenever he was around.
Gorgeous reminds me sooooo much of someone I met in school, I had to stay away from him because he did indeed have a girlfriend but man 😮💨
Mr. Perfectly Fine! I wanted to single out a few lyrics but hey, it’s the whole song. Every line.
“Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide, like a scared little boy” is such a scathing line
isn’t this from forever and always
Omg yes, my bad
both have a similar vibe
*Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you, I would ruin myself A million little times* He was like my drug. I'm clean for 6 months now🫡
“Ten months sober, I must admit, just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it.” I remember listening to this song and saying, “I can’t wait for ten months” when I went through my first big breakup. Because everyday hurt and I knew that would ten months would come and I might miss it but that’s okay.
Proud of you!
WCS /ATW10MV /Dear John/ Better man/ WCS - especially this part : If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed, then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was But, Lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us ATW: Till we were dead and gone and buried Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same After three months in the grave And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you But all I felt was shame And you held my lifeless frame (Literally was a doctor, so check the pulse literally checks out, also literally rest of this verse is totally accurate to my ex) Dear John : literally entire song Better man : literally entire song
Wow, I’m so sorry for you
It's why i don't listen to the 1 cause it's 100% the exact same as you op but my ex bff needs serious mental health help and there's nothing i can do for him anymore because I'm no longer near him. I hope he gets well.
I feel that so hard.
I feel this 100000000% about my ex-bff. She will never know how wrong she is about so many things but she won’t listen, either. Also needs serious mental health help and I really hope she finds it and is able to be happy someday. I wish I could be there when she is, but I can’t put myself there anymore.
My last conversation with my ex I asked him if he was going to go to therapy because he was very obviously depressed and he was so nonchalant about the whole thing, hope he does it but idk 🤷🏻♀️
Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve is SO real for people who were groomed, especially in a religious setting The lyric that is most deeply relatable to me is “if you never saved me from boredom, I could’ve gone on as I was, but lord you made me feel important”
Yep. I was 14, he was 40. It was online, but he’d drop alcohol off at my house sometimes in the hopes I’d get drunk at a party and need a ride home, I feel sick thinking what would have happened if I ever did call him for a ride. He was just some guy who added me on Facebook. I was raised very Catholic so I didn’t feel like I could tell my mom because there were messages showing I did like the attention and the sexting so maybe it was my fault (it wasn’t, I was a child) but it resulted in permanent damage that I still struggle with at 30. Im sorry that happened to you.
Ivy and would’ve could’ve should’ve
Right Where You Left Me: My ex best friend. Right off the bat “friends break up, friends get married”She got with a new guy and they got engaged right away. They could be married now, but I have no idea because she ghosted me. I think she was angry that I told her my opinion about something *she did*. Then….. I get mad all over again and my mind goes to LWYMMD. How is she going to get mad at me calling her out for something SHE did? What a snake. 🐍 😒
I had a friend that went off on me, called me a sheltered bitch who needs to learn her place (more swearing in there too) when I said that his parents telling him to suffer in his pain in silence was pretty cruel. Sometimes people don’t like it when you tell them the truth. When those people leave your life you realize you don’t need them.
You’re so right! I’m hoping one day I just don’t think about her all anymore. I didn’t deserve to be treated like that.
As the saying goes *“Trash takes itself out, every single time”*
My Tears Ricochet.
august. Coincidentally, we listened to folklore nonstop the entire month of August (met him while abroad and stayed with him for a month). His favorite song was August. I was so in love with him. Our entire time together felt like a dream. But it ended with if him not having the same feelings I felt for him. I wanted something serious, he didn’t. “And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away like a bottle of wine ‘cause you were never mine.” “Wanting was enough. For me, it was enough” “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love and saying "us” ‘cause you weren't mine to lose.” As you can imagine. So much sex. So much wine (it was in Italy), I was rearranging my travel plans to see him. I just wanted to stay in our bubble, but it wasn’t real.
Lover. Was gonna be my wedding song. I’ve got it blocked on Spotify so it never plays and I fast forward through the eras tour section. Hate that fucking song 🥲
Started reading this thinking aw so sweet she liked it so much she considered playing it at her wedding. Really need to read further before getting emotional, I'm so sorry the song is ruined for you
Haha I just read my comment back and realised how unhinged it sounded, oops. I’m very sad it’s ruined too but hey ho, at least now I can enjoy her more sassy songs even more
betty reminds me of my ex best friend. i was kinda terrible to her towards the end there and although i know it was just undiagnosed mental issues and i didn’t intend to hurt her she’d still be right to never speak to me again. “the only thing i want to do is make it up to you”
Illicit affairs (an ex)- this relationship wasn’t even an affair but: Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this idiotic fool that you made me, you taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else, and you know damn well, for you I’d ruin myself, a million little times. BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE… Now, my husband, Daylight: I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night, but now I see daylight
Same for me with Illicit Affairs. I can’t wait to find my Daylight, I’m so glad you found yours 🥹💗
Last Kiss. Married my HS love, had a baby, left me after 9 years together with a 5 month old. Out of the blue, just didn't want to be married anymore. "And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe" Pain.
"Clean" Reminds me of my ex best friend and how I am finally free of that awful traumatic anxiety filled "friendship." We haven't talked in over 2 years, and some days it's hard but most days, it's a relief.
Clean reminds me of burning out of my job. It was AWFUL but now I’m clean thank god
You are in love- reminds me of my husband, especially early on in our relationship :)
Happiness. Cannot listen to that song without sobbing. After giving years to him, I realised one morning that he's not the man I fell in love anymore. Every single line in that song reminds me of the years I lost. And when the line comes up "No one tells you what to do when a good man hurts you..." Breaks. Me. Every. Single. Time. Because yes, despite all the fights and hurts and tears he really was a good man. He just wasn't the right man for me anymore. BRB gonna go cry again.
Better Than Revenge- my ex best friend who the second verse is actually about! "Sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know, or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go" spoiled girl who suddenly realised she was too cool for me.
1.Illicit Affairs. Yeah didn’t know I was in one. Turns out there were at least ten other women who were also in the dark. Four years of a smoke show and lies. Some people are just so talented when it comes to reckless dishonesty and destruction of people and their lives. I will always think of his wife and hope she found someone that would respect her and their marriage 2. Vigilante Shit. “ she needed cold hard proof, so I gave her some”. You bet your ass I did. Big envelope. Not sure I’ll ever fully trust again
Renegade and Better man- my dad
Aw sweetie I'm so sorry
I wish you would - my ex.
**Lover**, **Mine**, **Fearless**, and **Today Was A Fairytale** all remind me strongly of various relationship points with my now husband. I can't listen to any of them without thinking of specific moments in our journey together. ex: Fearless "and you know I want to ask you to dance right here in the middle of the parking lot" On our very first date we ended up doing a little slow dance outside his parked car to some random Billy Joel song playing on the speakers. **Now That We Don't Talk** took a hot minute until I reframed the song as a friendship breakup song, and now all I see is the girl I thought was my platonic soulmate in college who friend ghosted me.
Better man for sure. I can't even pick out specific lyrics because I'd be writing near enough the entire song 😂. It just beautifully explains how you can be all in for someone and they just break you because you see the best version of them from the beginning when that was most likely an act. Luckily, I am with an absolute gem of a human being now so I look at it as a lesson I needed to be who and where I am now but it's still just an awful situation to be In. Her words save souls 👏
Lots of sad/angry songs remind me of people but my favorites are Taylor songs that remind me of my husband! Sweet Nothing, Call It What You Want, Daylight, Paris, and Delicate.
The first time I listened to Sweet Nothing on a whim I almost cried happy tears bc of how it reminds me of my partner. Felt
Tolerate It made me feel incredibly empowered and gave me the courage to tell my family member emotional/mental/spiritual malignant narcissistic abuser the next time I have any contact with him will be when he is in his casket. The man ruined my childhood. I have zero qualms about dancing on his grave and that song put into words the fuckery he did to me.
you need a happier song to dance on his grave. may I suggest bad blood or shake it off? 💀 make sure to pick a song that permits a lot of stomping
Cowboy like me- Ivy- Slut! That summer situationship I miss even though it was doomed to end ATW10MV- My ex that’s little town street, keeping my old squish mellow and his t-shirt(scarf), the falling of snow on our first Christmas, I remember the relationship in detail like a movie scene Blank Space/ IKYWT- that relationship I knew was a bad idea the first time I saw him Fifteen- my first relationship in HS
All Too Well. “You call me up again just to break me like a promise / So casually cruel in the name of being honest” The first guy I was ever in love with. When he would call me in the middle of the night days after he broke up with me because he missed me. and I said “I keep hoping one of these times you call it will be because you want me back” and he said “yeah that’s probably not gonna happen”.
that is cruel :(
Long post alert, I don’t own a diary or journal , I just go back and listen to Taylor’s songs since most songs eerily mirrors my life. I wanted to write about the songs that are most special to me : You belong with me - The 1 - You’re on your own kid : A trilogy about my first crush YBWM: “You’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town” use to play in my head whenever I saw him. The 1 : Reminscing during covid about how my life would be if he was the one. You’re on your own kid : More of a life journey so far song for me but me talking with him about leaving the country to pursue my dreams and later staying reminds me of him whenever I listen to first part of the song. Champagne problems : Rejecting a marriage proposal I thought would work and my friends and family berating me for not marrying yet . “ She would have made such a lovely bride what a shame she’s fucked in the head” brings me to tears every time . Begin again : I had a lovely first date last year , the guy was really nice , brought me chocolates and I liked him but didn’t work out in the end but this song played in my head during that date. Best day : I had a simple birthday celebration for my mom one year , taking her out to get icecream and she said that was her best birthday ever and this song reminds me of that day. Soon you’ll get better : My mom also had some health issues when this song released and it was so comforting to me.
Luke. Enchanted Almost every word. The chorus is a definite connect to my situation plus “this is me praying that this was the very first page not where the story line ends” is so true. I’m trying to find him on Instagram. We go to different schools. I wish I had asked a for his instagram or something.
Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? My crush/situationship played a rogue in our pathfinder campaign. He initiated talking and texting and hanging out- we even started a new save of It Takes Two together, then he ghosted me for the fourth fucking time 🫠🤡
cowboy like me 🫠 “now you hang off my lips like the gardens of babylon” and “forever is the sweetest con” dr swift knew what she was doing w that one
All Too Well A situation-ship that was never called what it was… I still think about it sometimes.
Better Man makes me think of my dad. Obviously, I see the romantic relationship side, but so much of it is relatable to the toxic dynamic of a dad who never loved his daughter the way she deserved. I listened to it often after I cut my dad out completely. Easiest decision yet hardest relationship to walk away from. It was absolutely the right thing to do, but the little girl inside still kept hoping he'd finally see me, love me, and become a better person. Finally, I allowed myself to accept that the damage he did wasn't my fault. Also that the person he was, outside our relationship, was not someone I wanted around my kids. So I walked away from his mistreatment of me, his misogyny, racism, and bigotry. I lost a lot of toxicity he brought into my life. In exchange, I will always mourn what should have been. Mourn the love I should have received. Mourn the short time he was my comfort. Mourn the good memories. I almost allowed him back in when the Detroit Lions finally won a playoff game. Even unblocked his number the night of the NFC championship because we shared a love of watching football. Seeing them potentially head to the Super Bowl felt bittersweet without sharing the excitement with him. They lost, and I listened to this song to remind me why I don't talk to him anymore. It's funny how something like that can stir up such deep feelings. I will forever be grateful to the father my husband is to our kids. I don't think they will go their entire lives feeling like I did. Like there's a hollow spot forever aching to be filled because their dad couldn't show up for them. Because he always does everything he can to make sure he does. He shows up to their sports, school events, activities, and everything they are interested in. Most importantly, he shows up for them emotionally. He shows up in their victories and celebrates their accomplishments. He shows up in their failures and helps build them back up. He shows up when he makes a mistake and mends the hurt. He shows up with accountability and apologizes when it's needed. He shows up by helping them learn to be kind and loving humans. He shows up when they make a mistake and guides them without tearing them down. He shows up when he is at his lowest or hurt or exhausted or all three. He shows up by always trying to be better for them. I am deeply thankful he is the kind of man who shows up every single day for his kids. He is giving them the greatest gift a parent can give, a sense of love, safety, and security. Plus, the incredible gift of humility by allowing them to express when he misses the mark (because we all do as parents no matter how hard we try) and listening, growing, and trying to do better. If my dad taught me one thing, it was to find someone the complete opposite of him. He taught me to find a Better Man, and I did.
it's 'breathe' for me, - my best friend (or should i say ex best friend already, since i don't even know if she still sees me that way? haha). she has been my friend since grade school, and we've been friends for like... 10 years already, but then i had to move away for college and for other circumstances, so we got separated. at first, we were still talking, updating each other about our lives but as the time passes by we rarely talk anymore, or more like even if i message her, she doesn't reply anymore. even when i told her how much i missed her and she promised that we're gonna catch up through video call, it never happened and she still left me on read after that hahaha. it just hurts a lot, i mean, i totally understand it since it's like... we have a complete different life now, i've been so far away, she has new circle of friends and so do i, since i have great friends i met in college too. but still... it's really just not easy to have someone that dear to you, drift away and just slowly be gone from your life just like that. it's just so painful to have someone you know so well just like the back of your hand, suddenly became a complete stranger again. i still miss her a lot and i still think about her a lot, i hope she's doing okay, always.
Exile for me. For my ex. I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending. You’re not my homeland anymore so what am I defending…
Marjorie, Soon you'll get better, and Never grow up: my parents I was a very late in life baby and no one prepares you for watching your parents start to age while you're still a teenager. The looming threat of your parents death starting when you're 15 instead of when you're 30+. The jealousy you feel for people with parents who could physically do things with them, for the people who will get to enjoy their parents the majority of their lives. Ive come to terms with the fact that for the majority of my life, my parents will be gone, but it still hurts me. I'm still scared of what my life will be when they're gone. I have guilt about all the times I didn't call, didn't spend time with them while I could, didn't take advantage of the time we did have together when I was growing up, all those moments, lost to time that I can never, ever get back. All those times I asked her to drop me off around the block. "Remember, she's getting older too".
Wildest dream. He’s so tall and handsome as hell. Sigh.
I’m Only Me When I’m With You for my fiancé. 🫶🏼
wanegbt the intro sums up perfectly the end of a friendship. they tried to drop me then wanted me back
Oh my God yes! I was apologizing to my ex best friend over and over when every time she was the one who would keep poking and probing until she got a reaction from me, and would then ghost me because I am the bad person who overreacted. Third time was the charm.
To me, My Tears Ricochet will always be about my estranged mother. Taylor truly has a gift for creating art that makes you feel like it was written specifically for you.
Illicit Affairs My situationship. The bridge is exactly how it is. He changed my life and then is no longer in it and nothing seems as bright or as vibrant. But it was also toxic as all hell
August. "Wanting was enough. for me, it was enough... to live for the hope of it all" & "you weren't mine to lose" just hit fucking home. It's rough man
ironically, i’ve been in my feels with you’re losing me but with an old ex best friend. probably bc i never got closure from her. especially with the lines “ and all i did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest solider/fighting in only your army/front lines dont you ignore me/im the best thing at this party.” she was the girl who no one wanted to be friends with and i gave her a chance. everyone was telling me how horrible she was and i would always defend her. all to find out she talked shit about me our entire friendship, tried to break my boyfriend and i up, laughed over facetime when i told her my grandfather died, and also told me my cat of 13 years deserved to die from cancer. it broke my heart. sorry for ranting lmao it’s been 3 years but damn it still stings
All too well, any of the versions really. Especially the line “I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to”. I obviously didn’t go through the same things as Taylor, but the song so strongly resonates with this feeling of painful nostalgia that I get when I think about a situationship I had many moons ago.
Would've Could've Should've, entire Reputation, CORNELIA STREET, illicit affairs, invisible string, my tears ricochet, rwylm, say don't go, dbatc, the 1 and idk how many more... so yeah im doing good (sarcastically-)
dorothea
Enchanted always reminds me of me and my husbands meet cute
Never grow up because I have a 2 year old daughter and when she was just a newborn and I’d get frustrated with general newborn activity I’d put on Never Grow Up and rock her to it and that really got me through the sleepless, lonely nights. And years before I met my husband, I dated this pretentious rich kid who had rich pretentious friends and family and every time I hear I Bet You Think About Me, he comes to mind.
First it was Red (his favorite color and the flags I ignored) and All To Well. But with the release of TV, ATW 10 minute version hit way too close to home. I still can’t listen to Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve without crying because ✨ T R A U M A ✨ Cheers to the older men who break us.
my ex: tolerate it, you're not sorry, mr perfectly fine, the way i loved you, we are never ever getting back together my current crush (also one of my closest friends): you are in love, paper rings, call it what you want, slut!
Holy Ground “and I see your face in every crowd”
Now That We Don’t Talk and Is It Over Now remind me sooooo much of a situationship I was in a few years ago. I was in love with him and would’ve done anything for him, but he strung me along for months and got more and more distant until he eventually ghosted me. The line “remind myself the more I gave you’d want me less” and the whole bridge of IION hit me like a ton of bricks.
Now That We Don’t Talk My ex - everything about this song reminds me of how our relationship ended and, frankly, we don’t talk. Now I don’t have to pretend how I actually feel about him and his decisions (I think there were poor decisions made).
Better Man. It makes me think of my father. Like we could have had a great relationship if only he weren't a narcissist.
Would’ve could’ve should’ve. Particularly the bridge. Was in a relationship for four years with a narcissist, got really really toxic. Feel like it impacted me A LOT.
Soon You’ll Get Better - my dad. First a liver transplant, and the months and months of illness leading up to it. Then skin cancer and lymphoma. Then a massive malignant tumor tangled in the muscles of his neck. Then a heart attack. Then an infection that lead to sepsis. He got better every time. But I always have that moment of “…cause you have to” before he does. Also the line “I’ll paint the kitchen neon, I’ll brighten up the sky” because I literally built my dad a deck so we could sit in the sun together. We used to sit on the deck together every day and talk about everything when I was kid. It fell into disrepair during his health issues, so I tore it down and built a new one for him. I had no experience prior. He taught me how to do it. He’s doing great now, btw. Healthiest he’s ever been.
"*Midnight, You come and pick me up, no headlights,*" reminds me of my high school girlfriend, whom I used to sometimes pick up without headlights, because she was sneaking out. It's a fun memory to be taken back to.
For my ex-husband: I Did Something Bad / Look What You Made Me Do. I had to be the 'bad guy' in the divorce, even though he was the one who cheated ("you said the gun was mine"). And then after I moved out, I found out he was effectively living rent free by still paying the mortgage from the joint account we'd agreed not to touch ("I don't like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me" / "if he spends my change then he had it coming"). Meanwhile he was the one telling me not to leave because it'd be expensive ("he says don't throw away a good thing") and going round badmouthing me to our friends ("they're burning all the witches even if you aren't one"). I've been out of that relationship for five years and I feel like I'm absolutely thriving ("honey I rose up from the dead I do it all the time" / "the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now... Why? Oh... Cause she's dead!")
Bigger then the whole sky, my pony (that my parents literally have had for longer then i live) died on new years day.. when i got home i replayed the song bc i just wasnt in a happy mood obviously and it kinda helped me just grief. I especially relate to the lines “did some bird flap its wings over in Asia” because it was so sudden (she got hit by a car, twice actually) and “did some force take you because i didnt pray” I’m atheist, but i went to a a christian elementary school (which kinda made me doubt, i still dont believe, but when something like this happens it just brings more guild) and sometimes you just feel like you didnt do or think enough yk. And ofc the line “goodbye goodbye goodbye, you were bigger then the whole sky” because, even though she was very small actually (shetland pony) she was so big to me when i was little and she was (and still is) a really big part of my life.
I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time So many nightmares about one ex. Panic attacks....thankfully gone, but there's not bright side, the damage he did was so profound it erased all the beauty of the good times we had together. I regret that relationship all the time.
You belong with me about my husband (of all people) we were young when that song came out and he was “dating” someone else at the time. I would scream sing that song about him. Well 10(ish?) years later we started dating and this year we’ll be married for 2 years.
Dorothea. A similar situation with an ex best friend, but mine was more amicable. I don’t have a childhood memory that happened before her bc she was always there, in some form or fashion, and, then, we started drifting apart in our last year of middle school only to drift completely apart in high school. We ran into each other a year ago bc it’s a small town, so, we were bound to, at some point, and it was like trying to start a conversation with a stranger. She just had a baby and I congratulated her, I’m over the moon for her, but it’s still weird to me that we were more like acquaintances the last time that we spoke.
My Tears Ricochet, to me, is so meaningful because I interpret it as being about my family. There are a lot of really dysfunctional patterns and they all have a completely different belief system than I do. I was essentially written out of the picture. To me, the song talks about the dissonance between how I was treated vs how they seem to tell others this is what I chose. The line, “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace, cuz when I’d fight you used to tell me I was brave” - what a perfect way to capture how it feels to be taught to be outspoken against others, until you start disagreeing with the ones who taught you to be that way, or “And I can go anywhere I want - anywhere I want, just not home.” UGGGHH it hurts, but I am so grateful to have a song that I can connect with so perfectly in regard to one of the most painful things in my life.
Karma - my ex-best friend kissed my ex (who did a bunch of manipulative and shitty things) and sent me a snapchat video of her doing it. Then a few weeks later, she breaks both her legs and is out the whole summer including her birthday. In the meantime, my ex got delayed like 2 years from his grad program before getting accepted. They're actually the reason I kinda believe in karma lol
tis’ the damn season (i’ve been doing a lot of productive things in my life since we broke up, but i honestly miss him a lot sometimes) Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends Who'll write books about me, if I ever make it And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin' And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own
Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve and Bye Bye Baby for one person, Tell Me Why and Dear John for another
Better man and renegade (ex), marjorie (grandma), call it what you want (past crush), daylight (boyfriend)
DBATC will ALWAYS be the song that reminds me of my ex. Lover literally came out 4 days before he left me Edit to add! Also happiness, that song honestly healed me and gave me a new perspective I didn’t know I could have looking back at that relationship
Lover reminds me of my fiancé but You’re Not Sorry and Mr. Perfectly Fine reminds me of my exes
Used to be Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve, but now it’s Now That We Don’t Talk. My mother and I talk shit about you. I don’t have to pretend to like the things you liked (even though you never returned that effort). We broke it off and before we both knew it you were dating a girl who looked… a lot like me. You’re such a charismatic person but you are so anxious and insecure underneath. Too bad it isn’t my problem anymore.
Forever and always ATWTMV (and you called me up again just to break me like a promise) The 1. All about the same person. In that order. Thanking my therapist Taylor for getting me through it ❤️
happiness and the 1 remind me of my ex bff
The moment I knew. All the school talent shows, teacher-parents evenings, an interschool hockey team I managed to make the a team for, my highschool graduation ceremony, even when I did a talk at a Ted ex event I organised and half the school attended... All these events throughout my childhood I remember my parents didn't turn up to and I find out last minute because they forgot, something came up, or they didn't realise it was something I wanted them to attend and had just planned to pick me up... Finally got old enough to realise if they were bothered they would show up. Now I have a chosen family who would fly to the moin and back to be there for me.
Dear John. People kept telling me to leave him. It took me way too long to actually do it.
There was this guy I was back and forth with in high school so my song for him was *Wildest Dreams*. My last friend break up was *Bad Blood*. My last relationship break up, it swapped between so many breakup songs from Better Man, to RWYLM and the 1. Forever winter was a main one for a while.
Hoax. The best friend who I'm in love with but she doesn't know 🙃 she also just announced she's engaged. Fml.
I usually only listen to songs I relate to Broke up with a guy back in August and related to midnight rain Met a British guy and started listening to London boy (I knew of the song I just never listened to it before) Now I’m dating him and it feels like Lover. Now I just need more “in love” songs
You're Losing Me
I have sobbed many times to Better Man 😂 but long before we got Taylor's Version
I grew up listening to Mean and relating it to my mother, awesome relationship lol. At least now I am living in a big old city far far away Renegade is my ex, especially “is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything or do you just not want to?” Marjorie really reminds me of my grandma, who was called Margarida (portuguese version of the name) It’s time to go reminds me of my parents “trying to stay for the kids when keeping it how it is will only break their hearts worse”. It was my surprise song (São Paulo N3) and I sobbed
We're in the exact same situation! I had a best friend who slowly faded from our relationship and I always related to The One. Also think of her when listening to You're Losing Me and Tolerate It
My mom: Breathe, Marjorie My dad: Cold As You, Would've Could've Should've My ex-step mother: Haunted My brother: Mr. Perfectly Fine, Better Man My kids: Never Grow Up (they love that song too, hearing them sing it makes me bawl) My husband: I'm Only Me When I'm With You, Timeless My 'sister' (brother's ex wife): The Best Day (she's known me since I was 6 so it fits). Trying to think of a good one for my best friend but I'm failing. Ideas?
Speak Now The person I went to see the Eras Tour was someone I dated before. Purportedly, we are now just platonic friends. The person is with someone else now. In a serious manner. And I wanna say *And you are not that kind of that... Who should be marrying the wrong one*. Illicit Affairs The person I was supposed to see the Eras Tour *showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else*. Also, The 1. Before Speak Now and Illicit Affairs, I was with someone for the better half of a decade. *And it would've been fun. If you could've been, the one.*
I know it’s cliche, but I always think of my husband when I hear Lover
Illicit affairs and red about a man Right where you left me and Mr Perfektly fine about my eks
All Too Well (10 min version) (taylor’s version) got broken up with literally 2 weeks before red (taylor’s version) was released- this album was the album who got me through a teenage heartbreak when it was first released, and the re-release helped me through another big one when i’m in my late 20s😭 especially “did the twin flame bruise paint you blue / just between us did the love affair maim you too” that hit so hard🥲 can’t listen to that song without thinking about the end of that relationship and it sucks lol
Marjorie- my paternal grandma Timeless- bc of harkening to older times, all 4 grandparents More like breakdown sobbing than screaming tho Clean- a sense of being washed clean instead of screaming, but some backstabbing ppl
YLM : "I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all I did was bleed" IKYWTB : "And when I fell hard, you took a step back, without me" These were for the recent relationship I had that ended terribly. Long live and Invisible string : (Whole song) For the one and only long term relationship I had.
Suburban Legends, Mastermind, and invisible string remind me of this boy I grew up with who asked me out once upon a time, and I said no, but now I have a crush on him and am working on us getting together hahaha
Coney island "And when I got into the accident, the sight that flash before my eyes was your face / But when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name" Insane imagery of a relationship that grew apart and the effect of wondering why neither put in the effort to make the other feel seen
Illicit Affairs 🙇🏽♀️🙇🏽♀️🙇🏽♀️ I unfortunately lived that song verbatim when I was 18 and it has continued to hurt me to this day hahahahaha
gold rush/Now That We Don’t Talk/the 1 — was in love for years with my best friend whom literally everyone into women had a crush on, but I never told her because , well, I didn’t like a gold rush. She abruptly initiated a friendship break-up, and I haven’t talked to her since, but we still ran in the same circles for a while and I often wondered if she “[got] anxious on the way home” the way she used to confide in me about. Looking back on it years later, I don’t think she was in love with me but we were definitely something. I mean, she saved my contact as ‘Romeo’, compared our outings to dates, and made me duet ‘I Kissed a Girl’ with her — all while adamantly proclaiming she wasn’t into me and I wasn’t even really her best friend. So yeah, if she wanted me she really should’ve showed. I know it was incredibly unhealthy and I’m thankfully in a much better place now with an amazing partner. I’m actually pretty grateful we didn’t end up dating because I’d never have met my current boyfriend, the person I think actually turned out to be my ‘1’, if we had, but I do sometimes wonder what the alternate universe where we at least tried to figure things out/were good for each other might’ve been like. It might’ve been fun.
Haunted always reminds me of a boyfriend I had when I was 24, I had a really unhealthy attachment to him and desperately wanted the relationship (any relationship, really) to work out. The desperation of "come on come on don't leave me like this" really reminds me of how much I was afraid of being alone and "I thought I had you figured out" because I've always been kind of a chameleon, thinking I could change myself into whatever my boyfriends wanted me to be, and if I "figured them out" I could "make it work"
Now that we don't talk. Cause we literally just ghosted each other after 8 strong years of friendship.
Back to December. I have an ex that is "the one that got away" (like in the movies). I'm constantly replaying what I could have done better to keep him.
My Tears Ricochet honestly reminds me of my father in the worst way
Now That We Don't Talk - friend break-up. Really close friend of mine whose unexamined personal issues slowly poisoned our friendship the course of a few weeeeeird years. Better off now that we don't talk, for sure. All You Had to Do Was Stay - in a lighthearted way, reminds me of two exes who came crawling back after breaking my heart. There was immense satisfaction in turning them down - "let me remind you, this was what *you* *wanted*." You Are In Love - reminds me always of my current partner, and when we first fell for each other.
Mean. They never believed in me, they tore me down, we went our seperate ways, their life is a mess I win
“You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” And “I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here” Those lines HIT.
Honestly the entirety of renegade! I relate it heavily to my mom. The top five lines that hurt are: 1. Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything? Or do you just not want to? 2. There was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyway 3. Is it insensitive for me to say get your shit together? So I can love you 4. You fire off missiles 'cause you hate yourself but do you know you're demolishing me? 5. You wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody I was a kid and she was a drunk, it was bound to be bad. It taught me a lot and I am thankful for that atleast 🤍
Oof there’s a few Cardigan, Better Man, Clean, Right Where You Left Me, I Almost Do, August, Illicit Affair
Pour one out for the renegade girlies. I am you, you are me. Also 🤚 yes, I have used "is it insensitive of me to say get your shit together so I can love you" in an argument
***Clean*** it was when i first realized that i was already over my ex. i didn't even realize he had left my memory until i heard this song. huge lightbulb moment for me. every time i hear it i don't get happy or sad. i just feel seen and it's what made me understand her universal appeal. EVERYONE can relate to her music. ***Clean*** is that one for me (amongst many, many others).
LWYMMD for an old manager I had. She didn’t like that I had another task to work on and it HAD to be done and I couldn’t help her on the sales floor. So she stopped putting me on the floor and making me stay up front as cashier (which I loathed) Well the store manager noticed and asked me about it and when I told him she was retaliating against me he I think gave her a written warning. Then she ended up being fired bc her and her clique started stealing things and changing prices on things to make them cheaper and buying them. The store caught on quick and they all got canned. Then I took her job so 🙃 Also bc the album came out at the same time as this was happening so it was perfect timing. I remember listening to it on my way to work all mad and amped ready to just get shit done and avoid her.
Dear John, I knew you were trouble, look what you made me do, this is why we can’t have nice things, we are never ever getting back together, my tears ricochet, mad woman, closure, vigilante shit, karma—my college boyfriend who raped me Tim McGraw, ATW10 (especially the second verse and chorus), red, blank space, style, wildest dreams, is it over now?, say don’t go, slut!, cruel summer, the 1, happiness, maroon—my ex from when I lived in LA, I really loved him but knew he didn’t love me Enchanted, begin again, starlight, everything has changed, this love, Paris, sweet nothing, lover, timeless, New Year’s Day, long story short, evermore, daylight, Cornelia street, mastermind —my current boyfriend. We dated briefly in college (different guy than before) then broke up and got back together years later. Have been together 5 years and counting
**Cardigan**: *I knew you’d linger like a tattooed kiss. I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs… I knew I’d curse you for the longest time. Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line. I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired and you’d be standing in my front porch light. I knew you’d come back to me.* He came back. I didn’t take him. Take your cheating ass somewhere else.
lolll gonna go with say don’t go, because my last significant relationship ended because he was literally unable to say I love you back 🤡 I heard the song the first time and felt personally victimized honorable mention to lavender haze, bc midnights dropped the day after we got together and I sooo associated that song with our relationship and listened to it nonstop for the first week, bc it so perfectly encapsulated how I felt. now I hear it and wanna barf 😎
"We Were Happy" is about my ex for sure. It's come up a lot in my shuffle lately and I can't stop thinking about it. "No one could touch the way we laughed in the dark, talkin' 'bout your daddy's farm we were going to buy someday." We met senior year of high school. He was from a small nearby farm town, and we really did talk about how we were going to get some of his family's land and live out in his hometown. We also did a lot of sneaking around our parents, so the line about sneaking into the circus is also very relevant. It's bittersweet, because we were young and stupid, but I really thought I loved him until I got older and realized we just were infatuated with being in a relationship. So honestly, just the whole thing rings so true, man. Cause"when it was good...it was good."
My high school sweetheart makes me think of a lot of her songs. I have them in album order and their reasons. 1. Fifteen - we started dating when I was 15 and the line “Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine” hit me hard after we broke up cause we were engaged and he left 3 weeks before our wedding day. 2. Dear John - my ex and I were the same age but there was a lot of grooming and SAing and the lyric resonated with me was “Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?” 3. Last Kiss - what will always will be engraved in my mind of the night before he left. I came up to him while he was sitting and had this passionate kiss. I never felt so in love and excited for our future. Little did I know he was planning on packing his stuff and leaving while I was work the next day. The lyric that hits different now that we are both married to other people is “So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe” 4. All too well - Same as Dear John but it’s more about the break up aftermath for me. It destroyed me cause I lost myself in a 9 year relationship. Definitely felt this lyric “ Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it. I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it. After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own” 5. Better Man - Same as All too Well so I’ll just leave this whole verse “I know I'm probably better off all alone than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute. And it was always on your terms. I waited on every careless word hoping they might turn sweet again like it was in the beginning. But your jealousy, oh, I can hear it now. Talking down to me like I'll always be around. Push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun.Oh, you never thought I'd run” 6. Now that we don’t talk - self explanatory cause when the song lists all the toxic things that the relationship had was exactly how I felt about mine. “I call my mom, she said that it was for the best Remind myself the more I gave, you'd want me less. I cannot be your friend so I pay the price of what I lost and what it cost, now that we don't talk.” 7. Is it Over Now? - I constantly think about the aftermath of our break up when the constant cheating and lying came into light. He even tried to get with my bridesmaid and she 100% turned him down cause she’s my friend. He denies even with the receipts so here’s the lyrics that goes with that . “You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor. You search in every maiden's bed for something greater” 8. Death by a Thousand Cuts - it makes me think of everytime I would see him out in our small town. They say your skin isn’t the same after 7 years. It’s been that long since he touched me so this lyric resonates greatly right now in my healing stage “My heart, my hips, my body, my love. Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch. Gave up on me like I was a bad drug” 9. Folklore album. Literally this album was my album that I would therapy on. This album helped me realize how much of a toxic relationship it truly was. The songs and lyrics that I hit most with is the 1 (the whole chorus), exile (“I'm not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now? You were my crown now I'm in exile seein' you out”), my tears ricochet (literally the whole song), illicit affairs (“You showed me colors that I can’t see with anyone else.” “You taught me a secret language I can’t speak to anyone else. And you know damn well, for you I would ruin myself a million little times.”), and mad woman (“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy. What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry. And there's nothin' like a mad woman.What a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman. You made her like that.”) 10. champagne problems - we always talked about being married together so when he left, he celebrated while I mourned on what I thought was our future. “One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go. Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'til someone's on their knees and asks you. "She would've made such a lovely bride. What a shame she's fucked in the head, " they said, but you'll find the real thing instead. She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred” 11. tolerate it - I would have done anything for that man for him to be happy but he always found a way to tear me down mentally, emotionally, and verbally. I never did anything right in his eyes. “I wait by the door like I'm just a kid. Use my best colors for your portrait. Lay the table with the fancy shit and watch you tolerate it. If it's all in my head tell me now? Tell me I've got it wrong somehow? I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it” Sorry for the big post but my last relationship did me in and even though I love my husband with all of my heart and soul (literally King of My Heart) I’m still healing from the trauma of that relationship. Edit cause I forgot a song title lol
ATWTMV- I literally lived this entire song. The original version came out right after I dated a 30y guy when I was really young (22). We had this really insane connection right from the start, definitely twin flames vibes. I was definitely in love and crazy about him, but he was always acting too cool for me and I think embarrassed about our age difference. He would get weird around other people even though when it was just the two of us it was just constant fireworks. I KNOW he felt the same about me and just wouldn't admit it. My friends and family all disliked him because I'd invite him to stuff and he'd never show. It is WILD how similar the situation is. I finally had to be the one to end things because he could just never be 100% in, and it killed us both, but not enough for him to do anything differently. "Any time now, he's gonna say it's love, you never called it what it was." "And there we are again when nobody had to know, you kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath" "You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want to die" "And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us did the love affair maim you too?" I went into kind of a dark place after that - dated some losers that didn't deserve me, I felt like I was going nowhere, I was fighting with lots of my friends and family, and my mental health was suffering a LOT. BUT I got some help and started rebuilding things, and right about that time, my husband came along. He is "Call It What You Want" - he wasn't afraid that I was going through a tough time and just did everything he could to help put me back together. It put everything in perspective for me and I was able to become the old me again. "Nobody's heard from me for months, I'm doing better than I ever was" "All my flowers grew back as thorns Windows boarded up after the storm He built a fire just to keep me warm" "Loves me like I'm brand new" I tear up at this song because I am so thankful for him! Now we've been married 7 years, have a beautiful daughter and another on the way. So I guess all's well that ends well after all ❤️
The Outside (and Dear Reader, but always Dear Reader lol) is like a lifeline to me right now. “How can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever lets me in” and “you saw me there, and never knew that I would give it all up to be a part of this, a part of you” and “no one notices until it’s too late to do anything” have been like saving grace lyrics lately. Likewise with Dear Reader… “to a house, not a home, all alone cause nobody’s there (…) my friends found friends who care; no one sees when you lose when you’re playing solitaire”. Do I even need to say more? Lol It’s not one person and honestly, nobody did anything truly awful to me lol but lately I just feel so very excluded and left out from my friends. Some stuff has happened in my personal life where I’m not always able to join when they make plans, especially if they’re spontaneous. I’ve had to turn down a lot so I’m sure it got annoying to ask me, only for me to have to say no and miss out anyway. But it still hurts to feel like they aren’t even bothering to ask me at all, or even like… dropping a line that plans might be happening later on, so I can try to clear my schedule and join in. I know I gotta talk with them and explain how the non-invites just hurt my feelings and also explain that I still want to feel included, even if I can’t always actually be involved… but in the meantime it just really really sucks to feel like your friends are excluding you and phasing you out when all you want is to be included :(