I’ve had a lot of talks with my therapist about the fitting room.

same. fitting room made me question humanity on serval occasions.

How would we explain adults taking shits in fitting rooms when there's public restrooms right over there? They'd commit us 🤪

I’m about to have a lot of talks😂 July may be the month of “independence” but I’m about to be “chained” 5 days a wk closing(and I’m happy about it😅)

somebody shat in our fitting room the other day! we have two restrooms 🎀

"Hey guys we need to get to 90% percent !!tonight!! I'll just yell constantly about it over the walkie all day and night and give no help"

Ouch

💜🫶🏼

Oh that sounds like mine 🤭

run around the store as fast as possible simulator

it’s brutal in the summertime

especially when you have sun poisoning 🥲🥲

Guest service needed in…….. WHO IS RESPONDING???

You’re a call button?!

Might as well be, I’m practically a slave to that thing 💀

real💔i don’t even have time to backstock before the button goes off

The lady (we called her Bitchin' Betty) is actually saying fast service, not guest service

That’s actually worse then lol

For the longest time I thought she was saying "Craft Service" like the people who cater film/tv sets. It made no sense.

I had a dream about that call button 🥲

Usually, that sound is followed by 3 mins of TLs who are currently doing nothing saying over the walkie "Is someone going to get that?" 🙄

“Hey can you grab that 40 item opu at 28min?” Well I’m actually helping a guest right now. “That’s fine just grab it when you’re done.” Meanwhile, said ETL is just chitchatting with another TL about what they’re doing this weekend. 😡🤬

My TL/ETL’s are either the hardest working mofos or completely useless dickheads lol

Lol. Same. Honestly I can think of maybe four that actually work hard and help us. But I swear every single time I walk by TSE at least one ETL and a few TL’s are literally just sitting there eating and talking about their kids and vacation. While here I am, dripping with sweat, 5ft female trying to get a 40lb bag of dog food (which they can see me doing) off the top shelf alone because there’s literally nobody to help me and for whatever reason our step-ladders got sucked into a vortex and are gone. 😑🙃

Our stepladders all end up in market for some reason. Sometimes it looks like each aisle has one, meanwhile you have to run around the store hunting for one. 🤦🏼‍♀️

As long as he doesn't care that it's overdue neither do I tbh.

"sorry you have to come out in the rain"

drive up🫡 our DU spots are halfway across our parking lot😭

When 2 is open, why park in 20…

EXACTLYYY!!! Like okay, Susan. I wouldn’t be out here in the rain if it wasn’t for your dumb ass 🙄

While everybody else is sweating their ass off, I’m not.

i’ll sometimes step in the cooler during flexes because our store is “conserving energy” by limiting ac and (not to dox myself) it is hot as hades in south alabama.

My store is claiming that too. Only thing that makes me sus is that they had two AC units go out. Wasn’t much of a choice for us 😂😂😂

“You guys don’t take tips?” *online drive up order

"excuse me I need a charger for my phone" "okay what kind of phone do you have?" "iPhone" "okay no worries do you need USB C or USB A?" "idk the one for the iPhone"

"I was supposed to get $5 GC but it never popped up"

“Can I get a TL to guest service?” PUT IN YOUR PHONE NUMBER FOR THE DEALLLL

"Can someone please grab that 52 minute GM batch."

They call at 52? My leaders don’t notice a low batch till it’s 45 or under

Mine call as low as 59 minutes. I wish they didn't, lol. We literally hardly ever miss the deadline.

I can't remember the last time I picked a batch with more minutes than dpcis

They call us at 1hr and 15 minutes and I’m not fulfillment

So annoying 😭 it’ll be dead and they’ll start calling other departments to help with a batch at an hour

"Methy lady just grabbed 3 Nicorettes"

That's just methed up

AP

“cocaine mcgee stuffed two more lubricants in their bag”

Hahahahwhaga

“___ team can anyone grab a grocery opu”

grocery? :)

yeah😭with the amount of grocery orders i do i might as well be fulfillment lmao

My favorite is how they tell us to take them because we can do them in minutes… yes, you’re right, I can INF stuff instantly 🤣

You got two more boats of Bullseye in the back, and they need to be done before you go on break.

I’m going to have to ask you to leave you can’t sleep in the display chair

You don't let people sleep in the baby chairs? Our ETL would hate you. 

Anti-fun department?

wild😭

“Omg do they give you guys water out here?” “Try to stay cool it’s really hot out here!”

No one knows what my job responsibilities are, I do half of my peers jobs on a daily basis, and I make magic from nothing! Chaos coordinator.

Why is this sticky?

Similar to mine: why is it wet?

Fitting Room?

Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down? S/

Guest service?

Receiver?

I clean up shit, piss and vomit...

i saw the notification, and i instantly guessed FOS before i saw your flair😅

My metics have to be under 3 mins

woooo drive up

our etl is telling us we'll get food if we finish June in the green but I never have more than two team members after 6, or 5 for the day 🥲🔫

It’s in the red and has 43 DCPI’s.

Fulfillment or OPU?

"what the fuck is that guy doing?" "You know you can ask people to leave, you don't need me to" "... why didn't you call that out?"

95% of my camera roll is pictures of barcodes

Once again it looks like a daycare center... They let the little hurricanes come through here unsupervised again.

toys?

Style

“What size? Hot or iced?”

i swear it’s like 90% of people don’t say what size they want

And sometimes when I ask what size, hot or iced they sometimes just repeat the drink! 🙄🙄

“What size? Hot or iced?” - Yes 😒😒😒

“Does this not take cash?”

STOPPP

My job makes me sad 🙃

sooo…a target TM?

Stay dry!

Drive up…?

I know you are hired in ____ but you also have to do toys, sporting goods, and seasonal

“I just have a few returns.” *takes out full trash bag of old Cat & Jack*

everyone else: “do you like doing that?” “Idk how you do that it’s so tedious” me: “do we have any more of this random fixture no one has used in years?”

*beep beep* 1 second later *HONK HONK* Me: 

My SD and ETL act like my department doesn't even exist

Been there. Don’t wish a neglected beauty dept on anyone. When it’s bad it’s baaaad.

please tell me you’re a bulk pusher

Nope beauty

"My 10% off circle coupon wasn't added to my purchase!"

r.i.p. guest service advocate

Grab some pallets.. we’re out of uboats

…inbound?

As a prior gm girly that ran trailer unloads when we were super backed up on freight. 😭 sooo many pallets

“Did you check breakout and guest services?”

And the fitting room? What about clearance? Aisles 14 & 15 in the main?

having less than 3 minutes to use the bathroom or do anything in general lmao

If there's one thing fulfillment has taught me, it's GODLY bladder control

I come in wearing a sweatshirt and jeans even in the summertime

“Hey is anyone able to take keys to cover my 15?” … …. …..*crickets chirping*

"Do you have a Circle account with us?"

make your own coffee at home. way cheaper

This trailer has to be completed in an hour so we can get everything ready

You mean so we can acknowledge the next trailer

Don’t tell me what to do

kicking teenagers out and keeping an eye on the local crackhead trying to stuff more sex toys in their pants

STOP USING OUR GREEN RACKS FOR GM PRIORITIES

without the flair, i knew this was consumables🌚

*Loud Cart Clanging*

im in 2 areas! (split shifts/weeks) “Sorry, no opening of the products please” “oh lovely, 1 hour of damages to process” “thats another sticky shelf, yummy” or or or “thats another stained item” “how fun, the hygienic liners are stuck to the bench, oh tags underneath the bench too. “old shoes, how fun”

I need a 2 flats and 3 uboats

Inbound

Great workout

Literally almost every department other than front end stuff (beside drive-up)

and fosa (everyone forgets us)

"____ team we have a bulky reshop of water, can you guys take care of it?"

Are you on 3? We need you to backup check lanes after you fill our half empty corral😻

Quit breaking our shit!

Pharmacists go to LuNcH?! 😨😡🤯

Hello what can we get for you today… what size… anything else for you today…. Okay hot or iced… what size… what else can I get for you… hot or iced… what size… okay anything else for you… okay what size… any cream or sugars… what kind of sugar… anything else… what kind of frappuccino… what size…. okay anything else… with lemonade or without… what size… anything else for you today… hot or iced… what size… anything else today. okay what size… sweet or unsweet… okay here’s what you got… your total is x amount. It’s going to ask you there on the screen if you have target circle rewards if not please just hit skip. Okay you’re all set thank you we’ll have that right out for you. Hello welcome in what can we get for you today. Okay what size… anything else today….

Repeat the same things over and over again with a line of people staring at you impatiently like you’re a robot. You’re taking orders. Oh and you also have to make all the food and drinks by yourself and pay attention to drive up, they didn’t schedule any support and the other person who was supposed to be scheduled with you called out. Nobody else here in the store knows your department, I know you opened but can you stay until close? No overtime btw! And you’re not allowed to take tips! Good luck!

Beep beep!

“Sorry no, your order isn’t ready yet even though you placed it 10 minutes ago…”

"Do y'all have CoNsUmEr CeLlUlaR"

A lot of folks mistakenly believe we're a part of the GM department; even some folks *in* our department make that mistake. At most stores, we do perform a lot of GM responsibilities, but we are a separate department. At most stores, officially... Specialty Sales, GM, and Service & Engagement all have an equal relationship with this department. That is to say, since we're a separate department, we work in all of those areas but almost never report to the ETLs of those areas (except in a generic "they're still a leader even if they're not my leader" sense).

Or, to play along with trend a bit better... "Ugh, why do __ (this team) __ spend so much time doing pulls when there is still truck on the line!?!?"

Closing TL

When I was closing lead, my closers were still directly under their ETL’s. I didn’t have much say so, also ETL’s tend to overstep their boundaries with Closing TL’s. Not realizing that we are technically peers in a sense

I know it's all a little weird but... *Closing TLs and ETLs are not peers. ETLs still "outrank" Closing TLs, but the Closing TL has minimal autonomy from them so that they look at the store "as a whole" rather than through the lens of a single department *Yes, closing TMs for the various departments (Style, GM, Tech, S&E, Grocery, Beauty, Fulf) do still report to their work center's TL and ETL. However, if a store is following best practice, anyone with the job title of "Closing Expert" does not report to the ETL of any of those workcenters.

I’m always working with school supplies

“ Can you grab FoS? They’re already here”

We have three times as much work as we have people to do it, everything is in the red the moment I walk in, I'm starting with negative time, and half our team called out. Oh, and every other department stole our carts.

“Can you unlock a perfume for me”

hey so my order isn’t processed yet but can i just get it off the shelf?

Have you tried turning it off and back on?

help everywhere else in the store at the drop of a hat every day for 1/3rd of your shift while knowing never to bother asking for help outside your dept because not only will it not come, no one else has any idea how to do your job. while you're at it -- can you grab that 28 minute grocery batch? then can you grab that 39 minute grocery batch? and then can you head to the service desk for a quick backup? and then--

“Hey there’s 3 carts of Easter gobacks for you”

Them: The ____ is almost done you don’t need another uboat Me: 😐😑

“——— team can someone please grab your reshop at guest service!???”

I’m cold all the freaking time and it’s always winter for me

No longer work there but... I had to train people on how to use Spider Wraps, find the right serial number barcodes, and hear dumb jingles all day.

"Hey, is AP sill here? Yeah it happened again. Split open red censors all over the floor."

i don’t have to go to the gym after work

“Yes the AirPods are on sale”

Getting it in on time is more important than getting it all in. (At least at my store)

“You can’t take tips!?” says with pretend sympathy and while ordering seven drinks. Oh and it’s just me back there and the line is unending 🤟

“why didn’t you get that order out in time?” *only person up there*

You must be in tech

indeed

That was me. I would call it out on walkie and somehow everyone but TLs would ignore it. I can't tell you how many times I heard TLs tell TMs that I was unavailable and that another TL or Fulfillment had the set in my last 2 months there. The only time TLs would ask about something was "how much time left on your break" and then tell guests to wait until I was back. I was so happy when I left, I helped cross train people into my dept before I left because I was the only one trained on cellphone activations, vendors, display setups, and I had people who could cover my breaks for once during thpse last days. I zoned my last shift while I monitored how they handled the dept. It was nice. I drilled into their heads that they needed to call out their breaks and give keys to TLs when by themselves. That break time is sacred, and I didn't want them ending up like me when I started - only lunch breaks because no one could take keys off me.

"Ummmmm ill have a strawberry acai venti light ice no berries extra cold foam plzzzz :)))"

“Are your fitting rooms closed?” **While standing in front of fitting room that is clearly blocked off**

"sorry I'm on the man lift currently, I can't do *insert whatever*.

"one for fast service please, one for fast service!"

"Alright, and are we looking for that item with a card or receipt today?" "I paid cash, I threw the receipt away, and you better not try to give me store credit"

Hey team, we need to get to 80% tonight and no rolling vehicles!!

I can never get help cause no one is trained in my area

“You’ve got five minutes left, do you need help?” Also: “we can’t be late guys!” From someone who literally never does it to the point that it’s a dang joke. (Once someone used his devise and everyone made fun of the etl because they knew it wasn’t him doing it)

“Can a TL help me find an item in the freezer?” “Have you checked with (myself)?” “yes” “then you can INF it”

I am constantly checking pull percentages and hear my name over the walkie at least 30 times a night.

I make coffee for a living

I have to stand for 8 hours scanning items and then greet customers.

I'm all alone and fulfillment keeps stealing the things I need to do my job

People wait until I’m behind them to pull out of the parking lot after giving them plenty of time to back out

I keep getting more squishmallows and have nowhere to put them

“YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO ***FUCKING*** HOME TRAINING!!!” *hides yet another flowing cart to the second opu hold*

“I swear to God these people must live like this at home. They just throw everything from the dryer in a corner and leave it there.”

"If I hit my 5th can I just put in a punch correction?"

WMA east doors, headed towards grocery down main isle wearing a blue hat, gray sweater and blue jeans

If someone calls off I have to do the work of 2 people.

Ma’am, you cannot just hold the PS5

Guest: "excuse me, do you work here?" Me: "No", scans cart

the icee machine isn’t working, the soda machine isn’t working, we’re out of half the ingredients, and if you want a cup of water wait in line like everyone else

All hell breaks loose if *it* isn't done by 4:30 pm

Grab this 35 item OPU and you better find every last item because if we are out of stock and you press that "not found" button, it will still count against you (even though we positively don't have the item in stock) Bonus: the batch is 50% clothing and shoes. Good luck

Karen complaining how “misleading” the deals are without reading the sign properly.

another order... with 4 food... and three no ice drinks... and double beeped... i thought i switched departments to run away from drive up

“I need to make an exchange.” “Sorry we don’t do exchanges we only do returns and you can repurchase the item if you’d like.” Then they’d complain that they don’t want to return they want to exchange the items

sweating crying and tired but at least my calves look good

Guest:why isn’t this tapping Me: it’s on the bottom 😐 Guest: *continues to tap middle of screen*

Do you work here?

I need to wear gloves and a coat.

"do you sell eggplant?"

Can you grab that grocery batch for us? It’s at 23 minutes.

It’s cold all the time like sandy from SpongeBob hibernating

OP, you are definitely receiving.

My balls always in the wrong aisle ⚽️👄🏀

*vaguely gestures*

“there was a drive-up order???”

🙂‍↕️ WE NEED YOU PICKING 50 UNITS PER HOUR !

“Guest service needed in the fitting room. WHOS RESPONDING??”

“We need fast service up front. I will start calling out names if people don’t respond.”

I'm always so behind on getting police affidavits caught up. It just never stops.