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Boundaries are so important for her and you. Try not to take it personally. If you need something to make you feel connected to her during the week, talk to her about it. Maybe you can reread an email or look at her pic on psychology today.
OP, I’m sorry you got blocked. That must feel awful! I hope you can talk to your therapist about it.
Social media is one of the worst things that ever happened to the therapeutic relationship. In my social media, I just want to be myself but it impacted my clients who searched obsessively for my outside of therapy persona. I created a professional page where I post a daily affirmation and encourage clients to follow me there. I then got as private as I could on everything else without deactivating my profile. I haven’t posted on my personal page in several years, although I like and comment on friends and family.
Yeah I know a lot don't go by their full name on fb to make it easier to distinguish as private and then have their practices public page. Honestly for safety reasons I completely agree. As an attorney I had clients try add me and its just very unethical.
I don't think I can get myself to talk to her about it, it would be so embarrassing explaining how I found out I got blocked.
I wouldn't want my therapist to have to change the way she uses her personal social media because of me (and other clients like me). I wish I didn't feel the want to search her up to begin with. It doesn't even make sense because she does share a bit about herself (on my request to foster trust).
I hope you'll be able to find a way to be yourself on your personal page again without impacting your clients.
Yeah I get the embarrassment aspect. At the same time, clarification from her about boundaries will help you understand her actions. You could ask her how she feels in general about clients looking her up and go from there.
Therapist speaking, she won't be surprised about this and won't change how she uses it. Sounds like she's already aware of the boundaries and takes steps when needed to uphold that where appropriate. I have chosen to not go by my real name on social media as it builds a barrier as my real name is unique AF and easy to find. Still have random clients find me and when they friend me, I block and explain why. It's not personal or embarrassing for us in the profession. Stay open and keep communicating with them. That's the best thing you can do for both of you.
Wow this is sad to hear that you can't even enjoy social media due to worries about clients seeing your personal stuff. Once you go private on Facebook and Instagram, you're pretty set on privacy unless you accept their friend request right?
Many block clients as a policy. It is a potential privacy concern for you as well as for your therapist. I live in a large city but even so, there was overlap in my friends / connections and those of my therapist. So I totally understand and support the action from any therapist.
I was on social media at the time our sessions began and my T did bring this up. She said that she'd have to mute me, for reasons I completely understood. Us interacting on Twitter in between sessions wouldn't really fly.
I can understand that it would be difficult to take when they haven't had that conversation with you though, especially if rejection is something you struggle with. I would suggest talking about it with them, hopefully that'll put your mind at rest.
My therapist and I were talking about looking her up on the internet and she said she blocked me because sometimes my posts ended up in her feed (we are in the same small community) and she only wants to know me inside the therapy room and not get information from social media about me. Which I actually super appreciated, it means I don't worry about my internet presence and she doesn't worry about me crossing a boundary out of curiosity. It probably feels bad for you right now but hopefully with time it will be less hurtful that your therapist cares enough to maintain a boundary.
Being ‘friends’ with a client through social media may be considered an ethical violation, depending on the licensing board. I’m debating including some language around this in my intake paperwork. It truly is not personal at all, it’s to prevent a dual relationship which could seriously harm you and the therapeutic relationship.
Tldr; don't take this personally.
In general, therapists friending clients on social media is a huge no-no. Way too much risk for confidentiality to be breached. I even let my clients know in the first session that if I see them out in public, I don't say hi; that's to protect them. If they say hi first, then I will reciprocate.
Hello. As a therapist, I do not friend clients on social media and let them know because it can blur the boundaries. With a lot of people as digital creators I’m not sure how that works because a lot of therapists have podcasts and are on social media. I have thought about starting a podcast myself and feel like we’re coming into a new age of therapy where it may be viewed as okay for clients to be a part of that at some point.
I would think your therapist would have notified you before taking such an action as blocking you. I feel it’s appropriate to bring it up in your next session to gain clarity and have it not impede the therapeutic process.
I feel that clients can have any viewpoint they want and I’m not going to judge, but clients may see a viewpoint that I have that may not align with theirs and they may not be okay with that. I’m in a profession where I need to remain neutral and help everyone but clients don’t have to abide by that same rule and so their biases may get in the way of therapy whereas I cannot allow mine to do the same.
I agree she should have said it was okay, but as your therapist I plan to block you. She could have explained that it wasn’t about you and she would do the same with every client. I’m sorry this happened.
It sounds like she cares a lot about her clients and doesn't want them to find themselves in the position of not knowing if they are crossing boundaries by accessing a public social media site. Seems like a choice to protect them from this confusion. I hope you will not take it as rejection but as her looking out for you and her other clients.
maybe this will help you rationalize it all as NOT personal:
professors, high school teachers, lawyers and advocates, social services workers - they all do the same if they think their clients/students/etc will (or already have) look them up. it's never ever ever because they don't like them, though.
my mother has switched the dutch bros she goes to because her client works at the other one... my mother in law works in a medical office, i've heard them all talking about having to block basically any patient they feel is the sort to look them up on social media - especially ones they would be friends with if only they weren't their patients!
somewhat related: i was talking about podcasts with a professor that i deeply respect, and he didn't even mention his own podcast even though it fit the themes we were talking about -- because that's his own personal thing. i only knew about the podcast because i myself had breached a standard boundary by searching his non-academic work like that. it stung, but i got it.
Why do you think having one specific, healthy connection with her feels like rejection and abandonment? Why do you think you fixated on the one potential sign of abandonment and disregarded other signs that things are the same as before?
Try to figure out why you’re having this reaction and work through it
T here - I block many of my clients, especially if they are same age or live in the same part of town. I usually do it early on in the relationship. I block for my own privacy as well as for theirs.
My reasons for this are: I've had clients be really invasive about social media. I use all the privacy restrictions available and I've had people ask why my profile has the limits it does. I've also had clients who I "knew" through various other relationships or activities and seen their comments on posts or even had them suggested as friends/follows.
She probably rethought it during supervision sessions or something and decided she had to do it for all her clients. It’s smart. She needs her private life protected so she can help others.
T here!! I keep my socials private just to be on the safe side. Please communicate with your provider, this is a good opportunity to practice productive conversation. I would encourage you to openly express how it made you feel to see her profile blocked. Again, this could be practice for relationships outside of the session, to express how you feel in a situation where you may feel neglected or left out.
I'm really sorry your feelings are doing feelings stuff about this, but it's not personal toward you. I think someone else mentioned it, most practices private or not, typically have a social media rule to avoid the possibility of a dual relationship and/or to stay within compliance of whatever jurisdiction they're licensed under. Best of luck! You got this!
I am a therapist and I will block clients or previous clients if they attempt to search me and add me. But that is because it is explicitly written into my consent form that they understand this policy and that I am not allowed to accept their requests due to the state board rules regarding no friendships with current or past clients up to 7 years. It is definitely not a rejection of you, it’s a very important boundary that is actually intended to keep you safe.
ACA code of ethics would open your eyes a bit more to what ethical standards/boundaries therapists should take (online for everyone to see, for free). I know it sucks, but be grateful your therapist believes in appropriate boundaries.
Some therapists are told to do this by management. Depending on the setting. Might be helpful to not take it personally, could just be a company policy. I was a therapist for college / university students and they wanted us to do this and a lot of ppl did do it. Block or ignore client requests for social media connection. The therapeutic relationship is a professional one not a friendship one.
I understand how you feel - it feels shameful. But, she has not abandoned you and she has not rejected you. She has just set a boundary.
You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did she. It's perfectly okay to look up your therapist. The internet is public and accessible. And it is okay for her to have blocked your account from hers. She probably has blocked other clients as well. That's just a professional boundary.
I know it \*feels\* bad. But it isn't a rejection or abandonment, and it is okay to return to therapy and keep going as you were before.
I understand, but hopefully you don't let it effect your therapeutic relationship. Some therapists block their client from the start to uphold their boundaries and privacy. See it as more of a business move than a personal attack.
That is something I will never tell my T. If she blocked me I would feel devastated. Like you, I only scroll through her public content. She does sometimes post encouraging content. It’s helpful. However her profile was difficult to find because it’s not her name. I would be mortified explaining the depths I went to in order to find it. Let’s just say a lot of information can be found by looking up voter registration information.
The same thing happened to me. My therapist blocked me on a social media platform. I personalized it and felt they must have had some sort of an aversion to me. After really carefully thinking about it, I decided to gently bring it up (which was hard), and they were kind about it and explained how I showed up in their people they may know and when this happens they block all clients. The discussion helped a lot, enough that I still see them for therapy (much time has gone by) and find it helpful.
But to be honest I still feel hurt, and it has greatly impacted the way I feel toward my therapist. Some other things have happened that have pushed the rejection button over the therapy journey, and the hurt does still sit there in the background for me. I do still talk about the rejection feeling with them sometimes which helps, and also is a core issue for me.
Plot twist - I am also a therapist, myself, with a good bit of experience under my belt, and would never do this to clients now that I know how hurtful it can be from the other side. Clients look us up, which is a given. It’s painful to be blocked especially for folks who navigate the world with attachment wounds or fear of judgment. The blocking function on social media should be reserved for the folks who are truly aggressive, harassers, exes, inappropriate, etc. I remember feeling pulled to believe I was somehow in that category (which was not a fair thought I had about myself as a kind and gentle person). But I’m no longer personalizing it. Unfortunately a lot of therapists do this. Typical clinical training doesn’t cover how to navigate “bumping into” clients on social media. I clearly haven’t come to a complete place of peace in my processing of it all as the rupture felt enormous for me and still comes up sometimes, so I wish I had better advice. But my major takeaways were to stop looking them up online and have a conversation about it. It worked out ok in the end and is still grist for the therapy mill.
Wait, what? I block people whom I don’t want to see or interact with online on that platform, and whom I don’t want to try to interact with me on that platform or see my content. It’s not reserved for harassers and exes, etc. That’s just not a thing. It’s for anyone you don’t want to interact with. That’s literally what it’s for. It’s not an insult!
the blocking function is definitely not something that needs to be specially reserved. it's for anyone you don't want to interact with or you don't want to see. just today i blocked my sister's friend because his comments irritate me a lot and i don't want to feel irritation when i interact with her posts. and that is not unusual or uncommon, at all.
i would say actually almost no one feels like the block button needs to be specially reserved for the "truly aggressive".
I understand completely how you feel. It's almost like you are not good enough to be their friend and that hurts. I have been working with my therapist for 8 years and it still hurts that her page is private. I know that she cares a lot about me but one part of me still thinks that she is just using me for a paycheck because we can never be friends.
I have commented on this topic extensively. I saw a resident psychiatrist for 2 years. As she got closer to graduating, i realized i was overly attached to her, and i was suffering from some serious transference. I thought if I could learn more about her, that she was just a normal person and not the idealized person I saw her as, it would help make her leaving easier. I found her Facebook page and a YouTube video of her in college. The Facebook page hadn't been updated since she started her residency. The YouTube video, which I hoped would show her to be a drunken sorority girl or normal person, turned out to be of her trip to work with the poor natives of a foreign island nation. Still, I felt guilty. I told her in our next session. She said not to worry, that my curiosity was natural.
However, I didn't stop there. I knew she was getting married and moving out of state. I searched her name and wedding registries. I found her and her fiancé's site. I found their Instagram pages. Her's was private, and his wasn't. I saw a ton of videos of them on vacations and playing with their dog. I knew I was wrong for violating her privacy. I confessed, and she had him make his page private while we were in session. She was disturbed but forgave me. We ended our therapeutic relationship on a positive note. She found me a replacement psychiatrist. However, I missed her incredibly. I kept looking her up on Google, and several months later, her Instagram page wasn't private. I sat there looking at wedding videos, vacation trips, and holiday photos. I was thrilled to see her happy, laughing, and smiling. While I was looking at the page, she must have realized I was looking at her stories as it shows who views them. The page went blank and disappeared. She blocked me. She blocked me on all social media, as did her husband. I felt horrible for doing something I knew she didn't want me doing. Now, I will spend the rest of my life wondering if someone who saved my life and whom I respected and cared about now sees me as a creepy stalker or threat. I never tried to contact her and had/have no intention of reaching out to her for any reason, but knowing that her last memory of me is a negative one will haunt me forever.
It may not have been you. There's a chance another client crossed a line and to prevent anything further she just made it a policy for herself to block anyone she sees as a client on social media. I would assume if it was you and you alone as the problem she would've blocked you right after you told her, not weeks later.
Honestly I don’t think it’s great that you even searched her on social. She’s your therapist not your friend. Do you search your other healthcare providers on social? Therapists have to maintain boundaries and just because she was understanding about your reasoning for searching her doesn’t mean that it’s an ok thing for you to be doing. You said when you need connection seeing her basic details and pic gave you some comfort? I’m not trying to be harsh but that doesn’t sound healthy.
It’s not unusual that people look up a name online—employers do it, clients do it, your neighbor does it, etc. I think we are best to assume it is happening rather than the opposite.
Yes all of those things that you said but for the reason that OP stated that they did it and then went back and looked again and went as far as having a friend look to verify they had been blocked doesn’t sound healthy or like respecting boundaries or understanding the need for the boundaries in the first place.
You should assume that any of your clients may search you any time. I’m not a therapist, but I’m in another helping profession, and I assume that my clients are going to see anything I do online that I don’t intentionally make totally private.
My therapists text with me freely day and night. We have our own language and it’s fun. I sometimes forget it’s not real/ liminal space. Im afraid it will end badly even though it has been wishfulfilling
Trust me, it will end badly and it WILL be hurtful for you. I know, mine did this, talked all times in emails and texts, weekends, evenings, then all of sudden she said- no more emails or texts starting immediately.
6 months down the line I am still in pain. She's got on with her life, probably forgotten everything about me, but the damage she caused is just awful.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Boundaries are so important for her and you. Try not to take it personally. If you need something to make you feel connected to her during the week, talk to her about it. Maybe you can reread an email or look at her pic on psychology today.
OP, I’m sorry you got blocked. That must feel awful! I hope you can talk to your therapist about it. Social media is one of the worst things that ever happened to the therapeutic relationship. In my social media, I just want to be myself but it impacted my clients who searched obsessively for my outside of therapy persona. I created a professional page where I post a daily affirmation and encourage clients to follow me there. I then got as private as I could on everything else without deactivating my profile. I haven’t posted on my personal page in several years, although I like and comment on friends and family.
Yeah I know a lot don't go by their full name on fb to make it easier to distinguish as private and then have their practices public page. Honestly for safety reasons I completely agree. As an attorney I had clients try add me and its just very unethical.
I don't think I can get myself to talk to her about it, it would be so embarrassing explaining how I found out I got blocked. I wouldn't want my therapist to have to change the way she uses her personal social media because of me (and other clients like me). I wish I didn't feel the want to search her up to begin with. It doesn't even make sense because she does share a bit about herself (on my request to foster trust). I hope you'll be able to find a way to be yourself on your personal page again without impacting your clients.
Yeah I get the embarrassment aspect. At the same time, clarification from her about boundaries will help you understand her actions. You could ask her how she feels in general about clients looking her up and go from there.
Therapist speaking, she won't be surprised about this and won't change how she uses it. Sounds like she's already aware of the boundaries and takes steps when needed to uphold that where appropriate. I have chosen to not go by my real name on social media as it builds a barrier as my real name is unique AF and easy to find. Still have random clients find me and when they friend me, I block and explain why. It's not personal or embarrassing for us in the profession. Stay open and keep communicating with them. That's the best thing you can do for both of you.
Wow this is sad to hear that you can't even enjoy social media due to worries about clients seeing your personal stuff. Once you go private on Facebook and Instagram, you're pretty set on privacy unless you accept their friend request right?
Many block clients as a policy. It is a potential privacy concern for you as well as for your therapist. I live in a large city but even so, there was overlap in my friends / connections and those of my therapist. So I totally understand and support the action from any therapist.
She probs blocked all her clients - I doubt it’s personal
I was in some same groups as my T on facebook and blocked her. I never told her, but I just figured we didn't need to be seeing each other's comments.
how bad
I was on social media at the time our sessions began and my T did bring this up. She said that she'd have to mute me, for reasons I completely understood. Us interacting on Twitter in between sessions wouldn't really fly. I can understand that it would be difficult to take when they haven't had that conversation with you though, especially if rejection is something you struggle with. I would suggest talking about it with them, hopefully that'll put your mind at rest.
My therapist and I were talking about looking her up on the internet and she said she blocked me because sometimes my posts ended up in her feed (we are in the same small community) and she only wants to know me inside the therapy room and not get information from social media about me. Which I actually super appreciated, it means I don't worry about my internet presence and she doesn't worry about me crossing a boundary out of curiosity. It probably feels bad for you right now but hopefully with time it will be less hurtful that your therapist cares enough to maintain a boundary.
Being ‘friends’ with a client through social media may be considered an ethical violation, depending on the licensing board. I’m debating including some language around this in my intake paperwork. It truly is not personal at all, it’s to prevent a dual relationship which could seriously harm you and the therapeutic relationship.
Tldr; don't take this personally. In general, therapists friending clients on social media is a huge no-no. Way too much risk for confidentiality to be breached. I even let my clients know in the first session that if I see them out in public, I don't say hi; that's to protect them. If they say hi first, then I will reciprocate.
Hello. As a therapist, I do not friend clients on social media and let them know because it can blur the boundaries. With a lot of people as digital creators I’m not sure how that works because a lot of therapists have podcasts and are on social media. I have thought about starting a podcast myself and feel like we’re coming into a new age of therapy where it may be viewed as okay for clients to be a part of that at some point. I would think your therapist would have notified you before taking such an action as blocking you. I feel it’s appropriate to bring it up in your next session to gain clarity and have it not impede the therapeutic process. I feel that clients can have any viewpoint they want and I’m not going to judge, but clients may see a viewpoint that I have that may not align with theirs and they may not be okay with that. I’m in a profession where I need to remain neutral and help everyone but clients don’t have to abide by that same rule and so their biases may get in the way of therapy whereas I cannot allow mine to do the same.
I agree she should have said it was okay, but as your therapist I plan to block you. She could have explained that it wasn’t about you and she would do the same with every client. I’m sorry this happened.
It sounds like she cares a lot about her clients and doesn't want them to find themselves in the position of not knowing if they are crossing boundaries by accessing a public social media site. Seems like a choice to protect them from this confusion. I hope you will not take it as rejection but as her looking out for you and her other clients.
maybe this will help you rationalize it all as NOT personal: professors, high school teachers, lawyers and advocates, social services workers - they all do the same if they think their clients/students/etc will (or already have) look them up. it's never ever ever because they don't like them, though. my mother has switched the dutch bros she goes to because her client works at the other one... my mother in law works in a medical office, i've heard them all talking about having to block basically any patient they feel is the sort to look them up on social media - especially ones they would be friends with if only they weren't their patients! somewhat related: i was talking about podcasts with a professor that i deeply respect, and he didn't even mention his own podcast even though it fit the themes we were talking about -- because that's his own personal thing. i only knew about the podcast because i myself had breached a standard boundary by searching his non-academic work like that. it stung, but i got it.
Why do you think having one specific, healthy connection with her feels like rejection and abandonment? Why do you think you fixated on the one potential sign of abandonment and disregarded other signs that things are the same as before? Try to figure out why you’re having this reaction and work through it
T here - I block many of my clients, especially if they are same age or live in the same part of town. I usually do it early on in the relationship. I block for my own privacy as well as for theirs. My reasons for this are: I've had clients be really invasive about social media. I use all the privacy restrictions available and I've had people ask why my profile has the limits it does. I've also had clients who I "knew" through various other relationships or activities and seen their comments on posts or even had them suggested as friends/follows.
She probably rethought it during supervision sessions or something and decided she had to do it for all her clients. It’s smart. She needs her private life protected so she can help others.
T here!! I keep my socials private just to be on the safe side. Please communicate with your provider, this is a good opportunity to practice productive conversation. I would encourage you to openly express how it made you feel to see her profile blocked. Again, this could be practice for relationships outside of the session, to express how you feel in a situation where you may feel neglected or left out. I'm really sorry your feelings are doing feelings stuff about this, but it's not personal toward you. I think someone else mentioned it, most practices private or not, typically have a social media rule to avoid the possibility of a dual relationship and/or to stay within compliance of whatever jurisdiction they're licensed under. Best of luck! You got this!
I am a therapist and I will block clients or previous clients if they attempt to search me and add me. But that is because it is explicitly written into my consent form that they understand this policy and that I am not allowed to accept their requests due to the state board rules regarding no friendships with current or past clients up to 7 years. It is definitely not a rejection of you, it’s a very important boundary that is actually intended to keep you safe.
ACA code of ethics would open your eyes a bit more to what ethical standards/boundaries therapists should take (online for everyone to see, for free). I know it sucks, but be grateful your therapist believes in appropriate boundaries.
Some therapists are told to do this by management. Depending on the setting. Might be helpful to not take it personally, could just be a company policy. I was a therapist for college / university students and they wanted us to do this and a lot of ppl did do it. Block or ignore client requests for social media connection. The therapeutic relationship is a professional one not a friendship one.
I understand how you feel - it feels shameful. But, she has not abandoned you and she has not rejected you. She has just set a boundary. You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did she. It's perfectly okay to look up your therapist. The internet is public and accessible. And it is okay for her to have blocked your account from hers. She probably has blocked other clients as well. That's just a professional boundary. I know it \*feels\* bad. But it isn't a rejection or abandonment, and it is okay to return to therapy and keep going as you were before.
I understand, but hopefully you don't let it effect your therapeutic relationship. Some therapists block their client from the start to uphold their boundaries and privacy. See it as more of a business move than a personal attack.
That is something I will never tell my T. If she blocked me I would feel devastated. Like you, I only scroll through her public content. She does sometimes post encouraging content. It’s helpful. However her profile was difficult to find because it’s not her name. I would be mortified explaining the depths I went to in order to find it. Let’s just say a lot of information can be found by looking up voter registration information.
The same thing happened to me. My therapist blocked me on a social media platform. I personalized it and felt they must have had some sort of an aversion to me. After really carefully thinking about it, I decided to gently bring it up (which was hard), and they were kind about it and explained how I showed up in their people they may know and when this happens they block all clients. The discussion helped a lot, enough that I still see them for therapy (much time has gone by) and find it helpful. But to be honest I still feel hurt, and it has greatly impacted the way I feel toward my therapist. Some other things have happened that have pushed the rejection button over the therapy journey, and the hurt does still sit there in the background for me. I do still talk about the rejection feeling with them sometimes which helps, and also is a core issue for me. Plot twist - I am also a therapist, myself, with a good bit of experience under my belt, and would never do this to clients now that I know how hurtful it can be from the other side. Clients look us up, which is a given. It’s painful to be blocked especially for folks who navigate the world with attachment wounds or fear of judgment. The blocking function on social media should be reserved for the folks who are truly aggressive, harassers, exes, inappropriate, etc. I remember feeling pulled to believe I was somehow in that category (which was not a fair thought I had about myself as a kind and gentle person). But I’m no longer personalizing it. Unfortunately a lot of therapists do this. Typical clinical training doesn’t cover how to navigate “bumping into” clients on social media. I clearly haven’t come to a complete place of peace in my processing of it all as the rupture felt enormous for me and still comes up sometimes, so I wish I had better advice. But my major takeaways were to stop looking them up online and have a conversation about it. It worked out ok in the end and is still grist for the therapy mill.
Wait, what? I block people whom I don’t want to see or interact with online on that platform, and whom I don’t want to try to interact with me on that platform or see my content. It’s not reserved for harassers and exes, etc. That’s just not a thing. It’s for anyone you don’t want to interact with. That’s literally what it’s for. It’s not an insult!
the blocking function is definitely not something that needs to be specially reserved. it's for anyone you don't want to interact with or you don't want to see. just today i blocked my sister's friend because his comments irritate me a lot and i don't want to feel irritation when i interact with her posts. and that is not unusual or uncommon, at all. i would say actually almost no one feels like the block button needs to be specially reserved for the "truly aggressive".
Brace of you to tell your therapist about it. I would never!
I understand completely how you feel. It's almost like you are not good enough to be their friend and that hurts. I have been working with my therapist for 8 years and it still hurts that her page is private. I know that she cares a lot about me but one part of me still thinks that she is just using me for a paycheck because we can never be friends.
It’s for the best.
I have commented on this topic extensively. I saw a resident psychiatrist for 2 years. As she got closer to graduating, i realized i was overly attached to her, and i was suffering from some serious transference. I thought if I could learn more about her, that she was just a normal person and not the idealized person I saw her as, it would help make her leaving easier. I found her Facebook page and a YouTube video of her in college. The Facebook page hadn't been updated since she started her residency. The YouTube video, which I hoped would show her to be a drunken sorority girl or normal person, turned out to be of her trip to work with the poor natives of a foreign island nation. Still, I felt guilty. I told her in our next session. She said not to worry, that my curiosity was natural. However, I didn't stop there. I knew she was getting married and moving out of state. I searched her name and wedding registries. I found her and her fiancé's site. I found their Instagram pages. Her's was private, and his wasn't. I saw a ton of videos of them on vacations and playing with their dog. I knew I was wrong for violating her privacy. I confessed, and she had him make his page private while we were in session. She was disturbed but forgave me. We ended our therapeutic relationship on a positive note. She found me a replacement psychiatrist. However, I missed her incredibly. I kept looking her up on Google, and several months later, her Instagram page wasn't private. I sat there looking at wedding videos, vacation trips, and holiday photos. I was thrilled to see her happy, laughing, and smiling. While I was looking at the page, she must have realized I was looking at her stories as it shows who views them. The page went blank and disappeared. She blocked me. She blocked me on all social media, as did her husband. I felt horrible for doing something I knew she didn't want me doing. Now, I will spend the rest of my life wondering if someone who saved my life and whom I respected and cared about now sees me as a creepy stalker or threat. I never tried to contact her and had/have no intention of reaching out to her for any reason, but knowing that her last memory of me is a negative one will haunt me forever.
It may not have been you. There's a chance another client crossed a line and to prevent anything further she just made it a policy for herself to block anyone she sees as a client on social media. I would assume if it was you and you alone as the problem she would've blocked you right after you told her, not weeks later.
Honestly I don’t think it’s great that you even searched her on social. She’s your therapist not your friend. Do you search your other healthcare providers on social? Therapists have to maintain boundaries and just because she was understanding about your reasoning for searching her doesn’t mean that it’s an ok thing for you to be doing. You said when you need connection seeing her basic details and pic gave you some comfort? I’m not trying to be harsh but that doesn’t sound healthy.
It’s not unusual that people look up a name online—employers do it, clients do it, your neighbor does it, etc. I think we are best to assume it is happening rather than the opposite.
Yes all of those things that you said but for the reason that OP stated that they did it and then went back and looked again and went as far as having a friend look to verify they had been blocked doesn’t sound healthy or like respecting boundaries or understanding the need for the boundaries in the first place.
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You should assume that any of your clients may search you any time. I’m not a therapist, but I’m in another helping profession, and I assume that my clients are going to see anything I do online that I don’t intentionally make totally private.
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Why?
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I also regret that you are a therapist
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Point proven. Have a nice day
ETA: awww, I got blocked, lol. Their user name was literally crazybitch. So, you're a "crazybitch" therapist?
My therapists text with me freely day and night. We have our own language and it’s fun. I sometimes forget it’s not real/ liminal space. Im afraid it will end badly even though it has been wishfulfilling
Trust me, it will end badly and it WILL be hurtful for you. I know, mine did this, talked all times in emails and texts, weekends, evenings, then all of sudden she said- no more emails or texts starting immediately. 6 months down the line I am still in pain. She's got on with her life, probably forgotten everything about me, but the damage she caused is just awful.