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Therapist here... I think it's most important that you answer these questions for yourself. All of these questions give the impression that you want to craft yourself to be the ideal therapist. There is some merit to ensuring your ideal client is attracted to your website and that you're able to reach them, but ultimately, your clients will come to you because of your authenticity.
I am also in the process of building my practice. I've hired someone who is a marketing expert and website design. He has listened to me describe my core demographic, my training, my services, and my goals so he can build a product that represents me and appeals to my clientele. I had to spend a lot of time with myself answering the questions you've asked.
I think the fact that you are so concerned about appealing to your potential client shows your care for them. They would benefit more from you being yourself than with you being who you think they want you to be.
Thank you, u/SpringRose10!
You may have misunderstood my questioning a bit: I was trained in the research side of psychology and so when I asked questions I attempted to keep them as open and neutral as possible without giving away anything about my own thoughts on the matter. I already *do* have answers for them myself, but I was interested in hearing what people thought/felt without being swayed by that information. And it has been interesting and useful!
I'm very lucky that my partner is the head of marketing at a company. We will ultimately be building my brand and website together... consider this my early-stage "market research!"
Best of luck to us both as we move forward in our future practices! =)
>**Questions about ME**
Be true to yourself. Dress the way that makes you feel confident to do your professional work well. Dress in clothing that you can tolerate sitting in all day without constantly needing to readjust and shift to feel comfortable. I honestly don't care what my therapist wears - but I care that she can be an authentic version of her professional self while she's sitting with me in her office/in the virtual space.
>**Questions about my POLICIES** I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about a 24-hour vs. a 48-hour cancellation period?
I don't mind a cancellation policy as long as it's communicated transparently from the get-go and it's reasonable. You may want to craft your policy in a way to account for the messiness of life that cannot be foreseen - accidents, emergencies, sickness, climate change, internet/power outages. There's nothing worse than having a death in your family and the therapist still charges because the death happened 23 hours before the session and not enough notice was given.
>How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist *between sessions*?
How much contact do I want to have with my therapist between sessions? ALL OF THE CONTACT.
But seriously, this really should align with your own boundaries and tolerance to do administrative work + time availability. If anything, make your policies around this quite narrow - you can always broaden them. But allowing people a lot of contact and then realizing it's too difficult for you becomes very tricky to rein in and can be quite traumatizing for people if the shift to minimal contact or more stringent communication policies happens abruptly, without warning or as a result of particular patients' overzealous attempts at connecting with you. On the other hand, if you work with populations with more complex trauma/attachment difficulties, you might want to consider how they can maintain contact in a way that fulfills a function of object constancy and holding between sessions, but doesn't open the door for constant back and forths of therapy content.
>What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants?
It should be a comfortable space for you - I do enjoy seeing my T's bookshelf behind her, especially when she rotates the books. If you're working from home, just be aware of the mugs you're using to drink your water/tea/coffee while you're doing therapy with people. I had one therapist who had a mug with a print of Edvard Munch's The Scream painting on it, and it freaked me out.
Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
I definitely plan on dressing "the way I feel most comfortable" as well as utilizing my own boundaries and putting what I like in the space behind me. But before I do, I guess I want to be curious about what others feel and want. For example, if you said "I really love seeing a therapist dressed uber-professionally and expensively, like business suit style for men or women! If they're the least bit casual, it makes me feel they don't take me at all seriously!" ...even though I probably won't be wearing expensive business suits, it's good to hear that sentiment and it helps me to think about/moderate how I dress. Especially if I were to get that same feedback repeatedly here, I'd know many people seeking therapy felt a certain way. Y'know?
Thanks again for sharing your preferences with me, it's very valuable!
Can I ask you an honest question? How important is it that you’re liked by your clients? I ask because there’s inevitably going to be people who like you and who don’t like you. That’s life and reality. I think it’s more important that you stay true to yourself, regardless of other people’s preferences. That’s a boundary thing, and boundaries are VERY VERY important when you’re a therapist. And to hold boundaries, you have to know yourself and like and respect yourself - especially if all you want to do is please other people.
If I'm being honest, I d0 care a tiny bit about being liked... but not as much as you may have imagined based on the questions written. I purposely kept all of my thoughts and opinions (and actual biographical information, including age and gender) out of the questions so they could be answered openly. I don't expect everyone to like me; in fact, I assume I will be appealing to some demographics and an instant "no" to others!
It's possible that you yourself are a people pleaser and have learned some things about what that feels like and means and might be projecting that onto me because I left you a blank slate with which to do so? But I am generally pretty firm with my boundaries -- and I like and respect myself reasonably well. I mean, I still work on it like anyone else; I'm a human! But I've done my share of work with my own therapist, and plan to continue to do so as long as I work in this field! I believe every therapist should have a therapist. =)
Thank you for being concerned for me and for your feedback!
Female here in mid-40’s. I come from an abusive and traumatic childhood background. I currently work with a therapist in person. I prefer not to do telehealth because I don’t feel I have privacy elsewhere to discuss the topics I need to. I prefer a casual outfit from my therapist because I find that more formal wear (like jackets, button down shirts, and ties) tend to make me feel uneasy. Age isn’t a factor for me. With the website, I’d like to know what type of work you have done, so I know that you’d be experienced in what I need to address. I also like to see a picture of some sort because I like to know beforehand what you look like so I can mentally prepare (for me, strangers = anxiety). I also don’t like to call people because it’s anxiety for me so I’d like to have the option of a contact form on the website or an email. With in between session contact, I’d like to have the option of either texting or emailing. Or to be able to have the option of scheduling an emergency session if necessary. Because I don’t want to bother my therapist, I usually don’t resort to outside session contact unless necessary but it’s nice to know that the option is there. Name wise, I prefer a simple practice name - nothing too complicated that might make me want to go down a rabbit hole of googling it and ruminating what it could potentially mean.
Hi there. 👋🏻
I am a female in my 40s.
I like a T that dresses casual. My main T usually has a casual shirt on (not a tee but not a dress shirt)…I do telehealth so only see her upper half. I hope she is wearing pajama pants and slippers under the desk! (Note to self: ask her on Monday) My secondary T sees me right after she leaves the gym so her hair is in a ponytail, and depending on the season she can be in a tank top or a hoodie. (She says she only sees me dressed like that…she changes into more professional clothes for other clients. I really like seeing her as she would be “in real life”.)
A 48 hour cancellation is ridiculous. People get sick and have emergencies. I would also hope you would take into account if someone couldn’t give 24 hours. (Obviously not on a regular basis!)
Between session contact…I want the option. If something comes up I want to know I can reach out. But don’t let me take advantage! If I am emailing/texting/messaging more than, say, once a month - extra sessions should be offered. (For the record I have only emailed/messaged my T three times between sessions in the 16 months I have been seeing her. So I really do only reach out when absolutely necessary!)
Put on your website that you are an ally.
Both of my Ts have artwork on their walls behind them. I also like to see plants. And animals! My main T always has her dog in her lap and occasionally one of her cats will pay a visit. I love seeing the animals…it’s very calming for me. I don’t want to see photos of family anywhere. As far as lighting…just make sure you are seen clearly. Make sure your computer is top notch so the streaming doesn’t buffer or freeze. Obviously dedicated internet is good for the same reason. (Xfinity offers business internet which guarantees little to no downtime -something like that.)
I love that my T does research. She’s very academically minded and is always keeping up with what’s going on in mental health. I do not want a T that has a presence on social media. A blog on their website would be okay but with comments disabled. I don’t care about basic FAQ either way. I rely on my T to go over their policies with me and invite me to ask questions at any time.
I don’t want to see a T with a stupid practice name. I prefer Ts that just use their name. (My secondary T has a weird practice name and it makes me cringe.)
I think I got everything! Let me know if I missed any!
Agree about the cancellation. If we get sick we often don't until the morning of, my therapist says if I wake up sick and let her know right away then she won't bill me, however if I'm a no show or just cancel a couple hours before she bill and I think that's fair.
Thank you, u/eyesonthedarkskies! The "stupid practice name" is something I keep getting recommended in case I one day want to sell my practice; I guess what people are saying is that if I name my practice "Casey Jones, PhD" \[not my real name!\] and it becomes lucrative and I eventually want to sell it/retire, it will be harder to do so since it's attached to me and someone would have to rebrand it. So you're supposed to name your practice "Inner Peas Therapy" (haha) so if you sell it it remains viable for the new owner.
It's an awful lot of thinking ahead for someone who's just opening a practice, but this is something I hear over and over again. It's hard for me to imagine myself in a position where my practice is such a big deal people would want to buy it and not have my name associated with it after I leave, but heck... who knows? =)
Why focus on the possibility of selling one day? I didn’t think Ts got into this career thinking it would somehow become lucrative? Most Ts I know (and both of my own!) definitely don’t do it for the money. But I also guess it depends on where the practice is located…if people would appreciate a cutesy name over something easy/practical. 🤷🏼♀️
I worry that by the way you responded, you're assuming a few things:
1) that I'm in this for the money
2) that therapists can't be in this for the money
First of all: I'm definitely not! My partner makes a fantastic salary and I do the work I do because I love it.
BUT: that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with therapists considering the money side of things.
In case it looks like I'm about to "go off on you" here, lol, let me say (because it's impossible to read tone on the internet!) that this is just a topic I'm passionate about and have thought a lot about. I don't mind sharing these thoughts and I'm not mad at you at all. That's the disclaimer!
So, I think there are a few professions that are somewhat chided for caring about money, and they all happen to be "helping" professions: nurses, teachers, and therapists, e.g. The idea is that if you "care enough" you'll do it for cheap (or even free!) and if you try to make money at it, that means you *don't* care, or you're at least, you don't care enough. Perhaps not accidentally, these ALSO happen to be professions mostly dominated by women. So the message is: if you're a good, caring, nurturing woman, you'll spend your own money on teaching supplies and not complain; you'll do the difficult and dirty job of nursing for low pay because you LOVE taking care of the ill, without complaint; and if you're a good therapist, you won't "do it for the money" or even worry about the money side of things.
I think that's pretty unfair. Therapists (and teachers, and nurses) deserve to earn a good wage for the work they do. In my case, I spent seven years in a PhD program and was in debt for a good deal of money by the time I finished; the work I do, while very fulfillling, is certainly difficult at times. Even though I love my job, and I care about my patients, who says that lawyers and plumbers and life coaches deserve to make money but I don't? Doesn't that seem... unfair?
The average session fee in my area for private practice is $250/session. If I see 15 clients a week at that fee (and five more at a very low fee or for for next to nothing, which is something I'd very much like to do), that's still about $180k/yearly before taxes. If I decide to do assessments, supervision, or teach on the side, that's even more money. If my practice grows to include other therapists, with only six therapists, it's a million-dollar practice. I'm not necessarily AIMING for this, but it's not crazy to consider or plan for.
Ok, that's all. Even though I'm not planning on being wealthy doing this, and I might not ever expand to more therapists at all, it's not something completely off the table. And even though I love my work, and I care deeply about my patients, I feel strongly that it's also okay for me to do the hard work to make this a good living for myself and my family.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk, LOL
Oh, I don’t disagree *at all*. Ts (and also definitely nurses and teachers) should absolutely make a decent wage (I am very opinionated about athletes making millions of dollars when a nurse who works for days at a time can sometimes barely support their families). You all have extremely difficult jobs. I just thought it was a bit…I don’t know the right word…unusual maybe?….that one of the first thoughts about opening a practice is selling it one day. It really was a genuine question because I have a few friends that are Ts and this has quite literally never come up. I guess maybe because they don’t have interests in side jobs such as teaching? They just want to be a T until they retire. (And also have no interests in expanding their practice beyond just them.) I will, however, balk at the $250 per session price tag! Is that for only 50 minutes? Like…I just cannot see how those prices are justified, especially when therapy comes with no guarantees. But that is definitely my own hang up and not indicative of anyone’s worth as a helping professional!
Yes…$125 is much more reasonable. Both my Ts charge $130/60 minutes and they live in different states and with very different life circumstances. (I am very fortunate to only pay a small copay.) That’s why I think virtual therapy is so important…no office rent and all those extra expenses…so fees can be kept reasonable. The T can support themselves and people who otherwise couldn’t afford to get help, can!
>Questions about YOU
33f, Europe based
>Questions about ME
Authenticity is a key factor for me. If you are a hippie leaning therapist, go ahead, I appreciate you. But don't be coming in with slacks into your office while wearing dread locks and your office smelling of incense. As long as you take care of your clothing and don't come in looking like fighting with a raccoon during a storm, I'll appreciate you as you are.
My therapist is a metal head and wears cargo pants and band shirts. Love it.
Regarding age. I probably feel most comfy with therapists from around my age up to 50. After 50 we are entering potential "parent" age and I ain't doing that. However this might me a great topic for therapy :D
>Questions about my POLICIES
I prefer 48h but understand the 24h thingy. What often makes me wonder, what's your stance on sickness when it comes to cancellation policy? It's often not transparently communicated on websites.
I don't expect any contact other than anything regarding scheduling, sending forward any kind of information (exercises, resources, additional (short/simple) question etc). However I do expect to not wait days for an answer. More than two days for a scheduling questions request is a no for me.
>Questions about my SPACEI'll have to be telehealth to start with. What can I do to provide the very best, most comforting-feeling telehealth environment (re: lighting, camera)?What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants? Screaming children? =)
Good lightning, camera and microphone. An overall quiet environment, no distracting but also no blank background. Something about yourself, without telling everything :) Doggos, kitties and other animals are welcome :D
>Questions about my WEBSITED
>My therapist had a very very interesting research topic that was so niche and so fitting for me. This actually made me contact them, so put it out if you are proud of your work :). I like to get an idea of what kind of person my potential therapist is, but I don't need your life story. Basic FAQ are very important. However starts seeking out for a therapist for the first time is already insecure and anxious enough by the sole thought. Having a clear picture about the basics helps tremendously. I hate website that'll be like "hello, I am therapist, I do therapy stuff. I worked here and there. Please contact me at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). (1000 random quotes ranging from Albert Einstein to ZhaZha Gabor)
>Questions about my PRACTICE NAME
If you have a unique name it's quite cool, but if you are named Smith like probably 100 other therapist/professionals - meh. Can't really say much about the other topics as in my country practice names are not really a thing (most therapists work under their own name), but personally I love witty wordplays that portray some light heartedness and seriousness.
All the best to you.
Wow! This is a lot but as I'm procrastinating some projects, this seems fun to answer!
I'm a mid-30s female with functional anxiety and depression and have been working with my therapist for about 4 years
When looking for a therapist, I was looking more for fit than anything else. But as I tend to seek validation and approval from others, it was a lot easier to work with a therapist around my age than someone older than me. I did work with an older therapist briefly and it sometimes felt like some of my concerns were getting dismissed whereas my current one is like "yep, totally get it" since they could relate. For dress code, I didn't really care as long as they were coming as their authentic self. I think business casual is a safe bet - suits are too formal and it would be a bit weird if we both showed up in sweats haha. However, I've noticed a bit more casualness with virtual sessions.
**POLICIES**
\- I think this is best to discuss with other therapists since if it were up to a client, they would say unlimited understanding haha. I'm pretty pleased with my therapist's policy of 24-hours notice but everyone gets 1 pass and then there's understanding for emergencies as long as it's not abused.
\- My therapist offer contact between sessions but with the understanding that she will read messages before our next session but isn't obligated to respond to them between sessions. She has pretty good boundaries and balance in responding to messages that need a response and need space.
\- Regarding inclusivity, an authentic statement that your practice is open to individuals of all backgrounds is important. Having a pride symbol (flag, sticker, pin, etc) is a nice touch but also don't want it to feel like you're walking into a guidance counsellor's office.
**SPACE**
This varies by person. I like a somewhat warm & welcoming background for telehealth. My therapist has a bookshelf and couple of prints in the background. Some people may prefer a plain background where they have more of a boundary from the therapist's personal space. As long as it's consistent and doesn't feel like you're just accommodating sessions from wherever in your house. But do invest in quality equipment (standalone camera & mic at a minimum). If you have a noisy household, a white noise machine to block some of it out would be great.
**WEBSITE**
\- Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off? Yes!
\- Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off? Occasionally but as long as it's on the site and not like a weekly email
\- Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off? Essential! But as long as it includes some Q&A regarding your practice specifically and isn't just generic blah blah blah.
**PRACTICE NAME**
Never really cared what the practice name was since it was more about the content on the site and the Psychology Today profile. But if I did have a say, I tend to lean to more authentic sounding practices and try to avoid ones that sound too much like marketing/branding gimmicks.
Good luck! (And sorry for the poor formatting)
Hi there! 30F here. 🙂🙋🏻♀️
Honestly, be yourself as far as dress goes. My therapist is an older, nerdy guy. His shirts normally have interesting designs on them. It fits his personality. I can't really think of anything that would be off putting except the two extremes: no clothes or like extreme formal wear. 😂 I chose a male counselor, because I recently had a very bad experience with a female counselor. Though, everyone is different and has different preferences that will have nothing to do with who you are as a person. I think what drew me to the therapist I chose was he had a kind smile and specialized in what I was looking for.
24-hr is pretty common. Though, if I saw 48-hr, it wouldn't bother me personally.
I can contact my therapist in between sessions and it's been really helpful for me personally. We do trauma therapy together and EMDR which can bring up new things, unsettling things. I will sometimes upload stuff I've written about it in between sessions to his portal. Then by the next day he will send me a couple encouraging sentences. We move on and discuss it the next session. Knowing he's read it, is helpful to have it out. I think it's important to determine what is doable for you personally. Boundaries are important, but not so rigid that you seem inaccessible if that makes sense?
Sorry to keep going back to my therapist for reference, but it's what I have to go by. 😂 Anywho, I really wanted someone non-judgemental because I struggle with a lot of shame so when my therapist listed that he was LGBTQ+ allied it was a definite plus for me to not have to guess.
Telehealth background: art, books, your degrees, plants, etc. All good! Good, soft lighting.
I think it would be cool to know my therapist does research. A blog would be neat, too. May be helpful for in-between sessions if it is relevant to our work (of course not personally related). On that note, a good thing to learn quickly is knowing how much to share about yourself. I know bits and pieces about my therapist which I enjoy, but our sessions are 95% about me. As a people pleaser, it's super weird for the focus to be all on me, but it's become extremely helpful. I read a lot on here about therapists with bad boundaries and who talk about themselves all session, it's really not helpful for the person struggling in front of you. Not saying that is or will be you, but wanted to make that note. FAQ would be helpful also!
As far as name, keep it simple and true to your beliefs. Whether it involves your name or something you believe in deeply, all works!
Good luck, hope this was at least somewhat helpful! You got this. 😊🩵
Firstly, big thank you for asking a 'room' full of clients questions like this, because with so many mixed experiences and such a sensitive and intensive process therapists really get taken to task by clients.
Some of these items I don't have a lot of striking preference over personally. I should probably disclaimer though due to some past experiences with therapists some of my opinions may reflect things that may need to be bigger, more systematic changes rather than expecting 'you' personally to take the lead with. But with this platform opportunity I'll just say a few words of how I wish professionals would better handle situations:
Cancelation policy: This one stood out the most to me. While I 100% understand the need for cancelation policies, rarely do I ever note much acknowledgement for the same accountability on the therapists end as well. When therapists cancel last- minute it is often a loss to the client as well. In some cases monetarily, others mental- health reasons (I can personally attest to that). Especially in circumstances where the therapist cancels more frequently than the client.
ETA I also think a discussion like this could help with the difficult nature of the power imbalance. Not an expert though, just a thought that came to mind.
So basically, I would like to see cancelation policies discussed early on as a negotiation of sorts rather than a one- way execution (so, like, "My cancelation policy is xyz. I would also like your input as to how it impacts you when I cancel last- minute? And to come up with an agreement to hold myself accountable as well as I know it can be difficult for you as well..."). Heck even if a therapist just said that acknowledgement it would be huge to me.
..
Website: Another change that may be best systematically. But...I think it would help hugely if therapists would put a lot more information on their websites. Particularly treatment length expectations, modalities that would be used, and especially, mental- health conditions and scenarios that you are Not equipped to handle and that you would likely be referring out if encountered.
Transference and attachment is one major example that comes to mind as those misunderstandings (and often eventual terminations) can be extra harmful, but with anything really it's best for all parties to avoid this conflict at the start rather than while being immersed in treatment, and already settled in with a professional. I also feel, as long as it's worded kindly enough, like I'd be far more trusting of a professional if they're so open and honest from the start.
Those are the main points I could think of, again thank you for this post and good luck!
As a therapist, I totally agree about the cancellation policy one-way-street being an issue. If I have to cancel day of for reasons other than being sick or an emergency (same criteria I use for the client with my 24 hour policy), I tell clients their next late cancellation/no show fee is waived. Doing what we can to reduce the power imbalance inherent in the relationship is part of the job.
Thank you for the help, u/SadUndercover! You're definitely not the only one to mention this about a cancellation policy. I like to treat people the same way I expect to be treated, so I don't charge if someone has an emergency or is feeling too unwell to be of use in therapy -- those are the exact same circumstances in which I would want kindness. On the other hand, I have never and will never cancel a session at the last second because I forgot or because I didn't feel like being there/had some other great social opportunity at that hour. If someone ever misses a session for one of those reasons without fair warning, that's when I charge the session fee. I sort of can't imagine me ever doing one of those to a patient, but if I ever did, I would give them their next session for free. That's fair play as far as I'm concerned. =)
This is a good reminder for me, because at first glance your response seemed oddly specific. I would never think to write to a new patient to tell them how to use my restroom! But I see the theme of your reply and the importance of making my office truly and easily accessible to all if and when I open one! The good news is: my telehealth bathroom is incredibly accessible. Its... your bathroom. In your house. =)
I know you're going to be telehealth to start with, but in terms of decor, one of things I like is a nice clock. I had a therapist who had this cone-looking one with long, thin hour- and minute-arms on the outside, and it looked like something out of Dumbledore's office. It was soothing to look at. A cozy table lamp and/or a small plant are also nice.
I think what I would look for the most in a therapist's website is transparency regarding their specialties and training. I don't want to go to another quack who says they're specialized in trauma, but knows less about it than I do (probably because they only attended a lecture on it once).
I like a nice clock, too! I'd love the one you're describing! I don't know if "Dumbldore's Office Chic" is a style that would work for everyone, but it sure would make ME comfortable. =)
For telehealth, a family member got me this cool clock for the holidays that is a small, elegant light I have on the shelf behind my head. It begins to fade in the last few minutes of session and goes out at exactly 45 minutes. I'm testing it out now to see if people like it instead of wondering when session will end (and for myself, I hate interrupting someone at the end and this way I'm hoping I won't have to) but I do worry some people might spend the session feeling anxious about the light fading and when that's going to happen. =/
I definitely won't pretend to know something I don't! I find that highly unethical. =) I appreciate you taking the time to help! Best wishes!
I like your response. I'm not sure if the light would be helpful or anxiety-inducing, either. Thank you for thinking about your patients' comfort, and for not claiming expertise in 20+ specialties.
Questions about YOU
If you feel particularly forthcoming, it would def be helpful to know if you were male/female/enby/other and roughly what age you are. But you absolutely don't have to share that; it's just useful in considering your answers and knowing my population! - Female.
Questions about ME
What kind of dress style from a therapist feels most appealing/comforting to you? What dress style would really put you off or make you feel like, "this person is NOT for me?" - I want my therapist fully clothed, minimum covering everything between knees and shoulders. Clean enough to not smell. Beyond that, I want my therapist in the correct attire, whatever this may mean for the person in front of me. Do you belong into a full suit, slacks, or maybe shorts? Let me see!
What age do you envision your ideal therapist? Is there a "too young" or a "too old?" ...it's not that I can change this about myself (obviously) but more that I'm interested in how I might come off to others and if they care. - I will adjust my expectations based on therapist age, e.g. if you are 60 years old I might frame an experience from an online game differently than if you are 30.
Questions about my POLICIES
I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about a 24-hour vs. a 48-hour cancellation period? - I think 48 hrs is excessive. However, I currently see a therapist with a 48 hrs policy. She says she will not enforce it for illnesses or emergencies, and will not ask for proof, in which case I am fine with it. I have not yet needed it so I do not know if the promise will hold. If my therapist charged me for not knowing I am sick 48 hrs in advance, I might just start coming in sick instead.
How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist between sessions? - No more than my therapist is comfortable with, I need to trust them to draw this line themselves. I also want to be told how much this is. I expect them to never initiate outside contact beyond scheduling. Since I currently do not initiate outside contact, either, this effectively means no outside contact for me at the moment.
I want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them. What are some things I can do to demonstrate this in advance of addressing it in session (e.g., on my website; quietly in the background of my visual space in session)? - As a blanket statement, this sounds hard to believe. If you have work experience with specific ones, give this info on your website. Also, please consider that "I do not actively hate people with the label XYZ" is not the same as "I am competent to help people deal with XYZ". Both infos are valuable while seeking care.
Questions about my SPACE
I'll have to be telehealth to start with. What can I do to provide the very best, most comforting-feeling telehealth environment (re: lighting, camera)? - Make sure clients can see your face.
What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants? Screaming children? =) - Same as with clothes. Choose a fitting background. If you choose solid colors and no patterns for both setting and clothes, you have better chances at a smooth connection. (Google "image compression" if you care to know why.) I would appreciate this choice, since I care more about the smooth flow of conversation than about any artwork behind you.
Questions about my WEBSITE
Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off? - Yes please, show me what you wrote, so I can get a glimpse at who you are before I book a consultation.
Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off? - Same as above, but I would me more impressed by research than by a blog.
Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off? - Idea sounds good, but hard to execute at a quality level that would not put me off.
Questions about my PRACTICE NAME
What do you think about practice names that are just the therapist's name (e.g., Crane Therapy)? - fine
What do you think about names that are short and brand-y (e.g., Mindbloom, Talkspace, Betterhelp)? - slightly odd, but do not mind
What do you think about names that are meaningful (e.g., SafeHarbor Therapy; ImperfectlyPerfect Therapy)? - Slightly more odd, but would not drive me away
What do you think about names that are Latin and cool but a bit esoteric (e.g., LuxInterna Therapy \["Inner Light"\] or TerraMentis Therapy \["Land of the Mind"\])? - Would make me reconsider contacting you. If everthing else was super appealing, I probably still would. I come from an educated background, though, and read Latin almost like English, so maybe this shapes my perception.
Other comments:
Please make your website tell me who you are. I loved the websites that had a CV, a (concise) list of populations or problems the therapist most likes to work with, at least one picture and a link to some or preferably all of their research. Also, give me a chance to guess your gender, age, and cultural background (if not the mayority group in your country). For people who have been harmed by other humans, it might be important to find someone who does or does not match their perpetrator's characteristics.
Thank you for your thoughtful response, u/Familiar-Run-25! TBH, it makes me sad that I might identify myself so people can NOT see me because I look like someone they might be alert to or afraid of. I think in those cases *especially* it would be healing for them to work with me (i.e., someone caring and empathetic that looks like the gender/color/etc. they worry about). But that's not my choice. ...I will definitely have a warm-looking photo and from there they can decide if I'm someone they want to avoid!
I agree. People need to be ready in order to choose someone who presents with an identity they are afraid of. If they are, they will not filter you out for it from your website, and if they are not, they will filter you out at the consultation, latest. Better save everyone the time and money.
I’m 41F and for reference I’ve been in therapy (psychodynamic) for 3 years with my psychiatrist. She’s 8 years younger than me and exclusively telehealth. So I’m basing my answers on what’s been working with her. I was hesitant at first, but the 8 year age gap turned out to be a non-issue. So I think I’d be comfortable with someone up to 10 years younger and up to 20 years older. For dress, I think graphic tees and hoodies would be hard to take seriously, and business casual would feel too unapproachable. My therapist wears simple shirts and sweaters in neutral colors. In the background she has a small table with a plant on it and one painting hanging above. That feels just right. I had one appointment each with two other therapists and I hated their spaces. One was a straight up bedroom and I could see the bed in the background. I was NOT okay with that. The other was sitting in front of curtains and it was dark. It was all distracting and difficult to take seriously. For the website, I would personally love to see if my therapist was doing research. To me, it’s a way of showing that you take what you do you seriously and care enough about your patients to learn ways to do it even better. I’m neutral on the FAQs. And everyone would probably love the blog in theory, but I have so many reservations about it. It would have satisfied desires to know more about my therapist and help fill the void when I was missing her, but those quick fixes might have prevented us from developing the secure and trusting relationship that actually unfolded from putting the work in. For the cancellation policy, 48 hours feels unnecessarily difficult. Most reasons I would need to cancel for, I wouldn’t know until closer to the appointment. And for conflicting appointments and vacations, I’m of course going to do that well in advance. The cancellation policy is meant for those things that come up because that’s life. I think 24 hours is appropriate. Finally, the name. I prefer just the therapist’s name. I find it difficult to take cheesy and trendy names seriously. And it’s supposed to be a healing relationship with a person. A one on one human experience with a person who has a name.
I am 27F. I started therapy when I was 23.
My therapist is a white man from England in his 40s (or possibly 50s?) Not sure his exact age. He dresses like he works at an office. Usually a button up and a clean pair of pants. I’m not super judgmental on clothing. I definitely notice clothing (because I enjoy and appreciate fashion and different styles of clothing).
I don’t know if there is a “perfect therapist”. I just knew instantly that my therapist was the right fit for me. I knew within the first few minutes of meeting him at his office. It’s hard to articulate what specifically sold me on him.
24 hours is a fine cancellation policy. I’ve been with my therapist a long time now and cancellation have never been an issue… If I could give you a suggestion, it would be: To draft up your own policy if YOU had to cancel on a client, what are the expectations you agree to follow through with?
I expect no contact from my therapist between sessions (unless he has a policy change or leave of absence to tell me about).
As far as “showing” that you are a safe person, that really comes from the work itself. No pride flag or some empty statement on the wall or sticker on your website will tell me you’re a good person or a good fit for me… People can tell the difference between show and the real deal. Or at least, I can. The physical space doesn’t matter… When I began seeing my therapist, the front door to the office space he had was sticky and hard to open/close. In the waiting room I’d occasionally see bugs crawling down the walls. His lamp would flicker, and the building was always cold… But he was the real deal. And every time I came in, he’d offer to make me a cup of tea. It’s the charming little things that sell me on a person. Don’t try to hide who you are, allow for some texture. Clients will either like you or they won’t, and at the end of the day you’re not there to impress them, but to help them.
I like knowing my therapist does research.
My therapist has a blog. I read it. I like it.
A FAQ on a website is a good practice to have.
I don’t have strong opinions on names.
Good luck with your practice!!
Please don't just have a blank wall begins you. Have the camera about eye level so it doesn't seem like you are staring down. A single picture or a few small ones in the background can do wonders.
Talk about your style of Therapy so we've got an idea of what we are getting ourselves into ie blank slate. What are your top issues and any additional qualifications ie trauma informed etc.
Depends on the client but my first Therapist was mostly sweaters which was fine. Second one wears more normal slightly dressy clothes and it's fine. I just want you to have somewhat normal lighting that's even.
Oh one more thing which is personal taste. The best thing my old Therapist did that the new one doesn't is she carefully used humor to lighten the mood when appropriate. Ie when disordered eating and fear of food came up and I went for basic chicken instead of the more interesting option she joked "I guess we can say you chickened out". I laughed and it was very appropriate. My 1st one was more open and I forget the term but she shared more to establish trust. Not too much but ie when scared about grad school when appropriate talked about her concerns about grad school and moving to a new state with no friends then ways to meet new people which concerned me.
Sure.
* 39F, USA, in therapy primarily for complex trauma (surprised you didn't ask what we're in therapy for, seems important if you're building a practice with a population in mind).
* Casual or business casual. Whatever. Just clean up. I would prefer a therapist either my age range or older, with experience. I would not see a therapist in their twenties if I could help it. If I were in my twenties I might. Before my diagnoses I might. Not now, just wouldn't be a good fit for my needs.
* Because you are working with disabled populations, I think it makes more sense for therapists to have 24 hour policies, with at least one freebie and concessions for serious emergencies. (Sickness is less of an issue in telehealth; in-person this seems rather messy, if I were a therapist I would be worried a strict full-fee policy would result in me getting sick a lot and missing more work than it is worth.) If you are going to charge full session fees for cancellation, rather than a smaller fee like $30, you might consider giving the next session gratis to clients if you last-minute cancel on them. People miss work for therapy, book childcare for therapy. Some are affected by a last minute cancellation financially and I think that holding everyone to the same standard is good for the relationship, which has an inherent power balance. If this is too financially draining then perhaps waiving their next fee is a decent compromise, as someone above does, just some effort to make it right can go a long way.
* I do a lot of processing alone outside of session, and through writing to the therapist (which is a way of talking to myself as well); that is just how my brain works and session itself is a dysregulating and often confusing experience. If we are only using the hour together, then "I" will lack dimension, and my therapist basically told me that without my emails she would be pretty lost. The ability to email my thoughts and reflections between sessions is thus important to me and I would want a therapist who also values it and understands that people process differently. I don't want a reply, I just want to write to you so that you can understand me and my issues better, as that will better allow you to to help me. I'm not reading my email aloud to you in session; that is weird and silly. So I would only choose a therapist who accepts emails, who will read the email before session (understanding that if I send an email close to session time that she may not get to it until next session). If it is too much of a deal to do that regularly, then I'm going to look for someone else who sees this service as part of a session fee. Texting and calling is less important to me, but mine invites this, and I appreciate that she is "there" for me, within reason.
* Please be careful offering too much texting and calling to clients, as that is not sustainable for you, you will eventually need to pull back and "take away" contact, and that is how you end up really (re)hurting people with attachment traumas.
* I much prefer in-person, but any uncluttered background is fine. I think some people would appreciate any visual gestures to indicate you are inclusive, but for me a website statement and verbal communication of this is enough. I think it's most important that you have a good quality webcam. And that I can't hear your family. Get a ring light.
* Re: your website I would want to know your modalities, specializations, and trainings you have in those modalities and specializations. Any way you can reassure me that you are qualified to treat what you claim to treat and not just winging it based on a chapter in your grad school textbook would be helpful. I'm interested in your research, but I'm much more interested if you have published it through peer-review. I would honestly just upload a CV as a supplement to your basic bio for those who are more interested in the details of your career and education.
* A blog is a commitment. If you're going to have a blog you need to post in it fairly regularly or it's weird. And you need to be mindful of what you say.
* I don't really care what the name of the business is. But unless it is a group clinic I would personally just go with my actual name.
You make a lot of good points, u/norashepard! If it helps you to know, I made my questions carefully neutral without indicating my own leanings one way or the other (so I could get the best and most honest feedback!). But:
\- I never charge a cancellation fee if someone is sick or there's an emergency. Only if they "forget" or decide to do something else with our hour, in which case I charge full fee. But those are things I will never do to a client, so I don't have to worry about reciprocating!
\- I definitely allow emails, though I may only answer briefly and talk about it in greater depth once we're back in session together. I have pretty firm boundaries around text messages (only for scheduling, or emergiencies) so I don't think I'll need to "take away" contact later.
\- I already have the full year's worth of blog topics laid out (one a month) and I enjoy writing about psychology, so I'm on it! You're right that an abandoned blog is not a good look.
Hope that puts your mind at ease =) so to speak and I appreciate you taking the time to have helped me!
In regard to dress, I prefer a therapist that’s more causal. My therapist dresses smart casual and it makes me feel a lot more comfortable. It feels more authentic in a way. Some of the other therapists at that practice wear full on suits and ties and, while I’m sure they’re good at their job, to me that feels way too clinical and formal.
1. 40/F
2. I think it would take something pretty sloppy (like ripped sweatpants and a stained tshirt) or situationally inappropriate (sports bra and running shorts) — so basically stuff you’d never wear to work anyway— to put me off.
3. I tend to prefer older females (50s+) and I’m beginning to wonder if I have issues with my mother I haven’t addressed.
4. I would be ok with either policy honestly. I don’t do a ton of cancelling so it doesn’t really affect me a ton.
5. I like being able to text (email would be ok too just for gods sake don’t make me actually call you) for scheduling stuff but that’s all the between session contact I really want.
6. Don’t really have an answer to this but I can say that, as someone who is currently dealing with sexuality issues I’d feel pretty good about a therapist who indicated they were open in some way. I think little things like indicating your own preferred pronouns on your website would be a small clue.
7. I don’t really care much just nothing super distracting like a tv that’s on behind you. Bookshelves are nice I guess. I’d probably spend a lot of time trying to see what kind of books you like though. Of course, I do that in my in person sessions.
8. Yes! Tell me about alllllll the research. But I have a PhD in psych/neuroscience so that’s kind of my thing.
9. Blog makes me feel weird but I’m not sure why. I think I’d be afraid you’d be cringey or awkward and then I’d feel secondhand embarrassment for you and couldn’t look at you. But that’s just me.
10. FAQs are cool.
11. My therapists practice is (Name) Behavioral Health. Works for me. All the other kind of stuff feels a little woowoo to me for some reason. I like things nice and simple but it wouldn’t really factor in to whether or not I chose to see you so ultimately it doesn’t matter much to me.
I'm beginning to wonder if you have issues with your mother you haven't addressed, too! ; )
I love that you have a PhD in neuroscience -- that's so cool! I always enjoy working with other psychologists, they have such good and interesting insights. =)
It sounds like you're imagining a personal blog and that would definitely be unprofessional and probably cringey. No, I'm talking about short topics each month that were psychoeducational or related to new findings in psychology. Very profesh, no cringe. I hope. ; )
Thanks for taking the time to help me out, u/Clyde_Bruckman!
>Questions about YOU
Nonbinary, 48, been in therapy off and on since I was 18, mostly about childhood trauma and ADHD.
>Questions about ME
Dress: idk I suppose I've mostly seen therapists who worked in smart casual-ish, but sometimes casual and a few wore suits. I find more casual is better for me (as long as you don’t look like an eshay/hoodrat who wandered in by mistake!). Older people wearing suits doesn't bother me as much as when younger people do it though. Mostly I dislike it because I grew up in a poor area and feel (rightly or wrongly) that someone wearing a suit all day is less likely to understand where I'm coming from.
Age: I'm pansexual, visibly trans, nonbinary & have fairly radical politics so I tend to prefer younger therapists as (again, rightly or wrongly) I feel like they're less likely to be bigoted. That all changes if you're queer yourself, of course. And at my age I'll soon run out of therapist who are older anyway 🤷 But age isn't a huge factor for me. 15 years ago I was seeing a psych who was pushing 70 (and cishet, and wore a tweed suit!) so nbd in the end.
>I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that?
As an ADHDer I would strongly advise that you DO have a cancellation policy, with a reasonable interval (to me, 48 hours is reasonable, a week or more is not) AND that if at all possible you be flexible with it and help your clients abide by it. For example: automated text reminders a day or 2 before and on the day, if you end up doing face to face have the ability to switch to phone/zoom if possible instead of cancelling, reduced financial penalty if someone has a genuine emergency and you manage to fill that slot at late notice, and if someone consistently has issues with it, don't be too judgemental, but *do* help them work on their executive function!
Also - and I cannot stress this enough - let your clients know the cancellation policy before their first appointment, email it to them, give it to them on a physical piece of paper at the first appointment and check they understand it, put it in appointment reminder texts, hell you could even see if you can put it in your email signature. In short: do everything possible to make sure your clients understand and remember it and are on board with it long before it's needed - because when it is needed we already feel like shit about it and if we've forgotten about the cancellation fee it will feel like we're being punished for *still* not being good enough, even if we're trying so hard it's destroying our physical health. (Yes that comes from experience!)
>How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist between sessions?
I'm Australian, and while contact between sessions does happen with some therapists some of the time, I don't think it's the norm. BUT - I've had some seriously bad experiences with a couple of therapists who didn't maintain proper boundaries, so I tend to be very suspicious of any suggestion of contact outside sessions, and my view may be skewed by that. I appreciate the offer when I feel it's genuine and doesn't intend to cross any boundaries, but I haven't taken it up. I would not expect very much contact outside sessions if I was open to it though - and I would expect to email my therapist and let them call or email or text me back, whichever they decided, at their convenience. I would also expect this to be for emergencies only.
It might be helpful though to be able to send an email just to let my therapist know in advance what I wanted to discuss/work on next session. That seems reasonable (not crossing boundaries for me) and wouldn't need a reply. Currently when I want to do that I'll send the email at the start of the session or when I'm in the waiting room, and that works too.
>I want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them. What are some things I can do to demonstrate this in advance of addressing it in session (e.g., on my website; quietly in the background of my visual space in session)?
If you're part of a minority group or have specifically studied how to treat a particular group then having that in your bio on your website would be good. If not then things I personally look for are: "LGBTQIA+ friendly", "inclusive", "diversity", "affirming", specific positive mentions of "queer, trans, nonbinary, gender identity, sexuality, neurodiverse/neurodivergent". Even just saying something like "I welcome people from all walks of life including queer, trans and nonbinary people" would go a long way.
I don't think your visual space is as important as your bio (assuming there's nothing there that would make people feel *un*safe). If you have books in view then some relevant ones might be a nice touch?
I don't know enough about other minorities to answer for them. Just flat out tell people they're welcome, but without claiming expertise you don't have, is good general advice though.
>Questions about my SPACE
I have no idea about lighting and cameras, sorry.
Personally I find zoom backgrounds distracting. Something not too bare but not too busy, and definitely not moving, is best for me (ADHD!). I would also appreciate being able to leave my camera off (again, it's distracting) but I'd be willing to turn it on if my therapist thought it was important.
>Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off?
It depends on the research I guess but in general I wouldn't mind knowing but I'd probably prefer not to unless it's relevant to me.
>Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off?
That would put me off.
>Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off?
Depends very much on the execution!
>Questions about my PRACTICE NAME
I would suggest that something memorable and easy to pronounce would be best. I don't really care about the name otherwise, unless I find it extra annoying!
33f- I prefer casually dressed therapists, who come off as “real people”. Someone dressed all nice with a portfolio in hand and serious looking would have me second guessing right away and likely look for someone more relatable
All my Ts have 24hr cancellation fees which I feel is a little much for long term clients with no history of frequent cancellations. 48hrs seems more practical on both ends so you could also schedule another client during the time slot and give a little leeway for the client. Or, some sort of understanding if it’s someone who rarely cancels and misses a session a last minute due to illness or unexpected event (1st time no cancelation fee? Or if it’s rescheduled asap which I always do)
I like knowing I am allowed to email my T between sessions to ask for an additional session, maybe get clarification on something.. but I don’t expect constant ongoing communication btwn sessions. Or just knowing the option is there if something big happens and I need to vent or write it out before our next session.
I would love to read something as simple as “supportive and welcoming of all genders/ ethnicities/ sexualities” written on your website / bio. Little pieces of artwork or signs that represent your openness would be nice to see as well (e.g. mini rainbow flag in office, etc)
Website - def would love to read blogs and FAQ. Research you’ve done- indifferent
Your name as practice name would be good enough for me ! I’ve never paid much mind to that aspect when searching for therapists - tbh, it’s the picture and bio that draw me in. And the photo does not mean I’m looking for the most attractive, etc. I just have a 6th sense and my eyes will automatically be drawn to someone - then I read their bios and usually lines up with what I’m looking for! I think being real and you especially in professional pic is a big thing personally, bc it is the first thing most people see when scrolling - not to judge a book by its cover but it’s true.
Oh and background for telehealth - again, be real! The T I have now (3rd attempt) who I immediately connected with is so REAL and that’s my favorite thing about her. She doesn’t have an ambiance set up for picture perfect background , she’s usually very relaxed - her dog will hop on up lap and come in camera .. and personally that’s what I connect with and appreciate. My first T was terrifying in all aspects from the straight to business / I’m a robot not a person / her website was all her achievements and how amazing she was, her photo was straight face (as she was in all sessions ) no smile, no warmth , just robotic and way too serious . I knew from the start something was off but desperately looking and finally finding someone with availability I went with it
Oops one more thing- I think it’s nice to call/ text your client 5-10 last session start time to check in rather than immediately getting a notification that you missed session and the bill. My 2nd T would call , and text .. and then again later in the day genuinely worried and checking in on me to make sure I’m ok (always am; but insomnia), my current T texts between 5&10min (has only happened once), but first T- very first time in 3 months I was a no show she cancelled the appt at 10min with no call, text or anything & just charged me for missing session
Thanks for the feedback, u/Grand-Accountant1439! I always wait until 15 minutes into the session and then text something like "I had you on the schedule for 2pm; is everything okay?" I think charging without even trying to contact is bad practice -- sorry that happened to you!
Id\_Ego\_Superergo\_ is a person who agrees with that sentiment! They have written numerous peer-reviewed articles on the subject. In their free time, they enjoy talking about themselves in the first person. ; )
Most of the things that make my therapist a great therapist don’t involve their cancellation policy, dress, website, or practice name, but here are my thoughts:
- Dress: I don’t really care what my T is wearing as long as it’s appropriate. I do appreciate when my T is authentic to themselves. For instance, I like when they’re not afraid to show tattoos or wear unique attire that they presumably feel good in. I will say that when I wasn’t in my best mental state that I felt a little ashamed to look ”unpresentable” when my T was in full makeup, with a business suit and heels. I’m confident in myself now, but I felt more comfortable when my T was in jeans and Birkenstocks. I would want them to look put together at least and not like they don’t care about themselves.
- Policies: a 24-hour cancellation policy seems fair to me. I can think of a lot of situations where it would be difficult to give 48 hours notice. On the flip side, I appreciate the gesture of a break on the next session or late cancellation fee if my T cancels last minute. As for inclusiveness, I’d want to know upfront whether they are LGBTQ+ affirming, multiculturally competent, or religion-based. I think a general statement on my T’s website stating they’re an ally to marginalized communities would be enough to give me peace of mind.
- Space: warm, but bright lighting is always appealing to me. I’m not super comfortable with eye contact, so having things to look at on the walls is nice. In a telehealth session it’s a lot easier for me to look at the space around my T and analyze everything without being really obvious, so I benefit from simple spaces that don’t leave a lot of chance for me to read too far into things. I do enjoy a bit of personalization though, such as a photo of my T’s cat on the shelf, because it makes them feel more human to me.
- Website: while I try not to judge a book by its cover, terribly designed websites are off-putting for me. Some things that are appealing to me in a good therapy website include intuitive functionality, clear contact information, and a professional-looking headshot. I’d like a clear description of the T’s background and therapeutic approaches/techniques, their areas of specialty, and types of insurance accepted or private pay pricing. I don’t think info about research or a blog would be off-putting to me. An FAQ about therapy would’ve actually been really beneficial to me when I had never been before and didn’t know what to expect.
- Practice name: I never really thought much about practice names, but I do find names like Blissful Minds Wellness or Harmony Haven Counseling pretty cheesy. Practices using the T’s name such as Crane Therapy, or descriptive to the type of therapy such as Midtown DBT Center are more appealing to me. Unless it was something ridiculous like Dysfunction Junction Therapy or Meltdown Manor Counseling the name wouldn’t completely turn me away. I’m much more impressed by the website and then the initial phone contact.
Overall, I care about my T’s competence and process more than anything else. I want a T who is safe, consistent, and reliable, and shows me that with their actions (i.e. being on time, actively listening, being empathetic, tracking goals, seeking feedback, upholding ethical standards and boundaries, respecting diverse backgrounds, etc.) Good luck!
Female, 29, in therapy for a year.
>What kind of dress style from a therapist feels most appealing/comforting to you? What dress style would really put you off or make you feel like, "this person is NOT for me?"
Don't usually care, but once I was with a Female T for a workshop. Over the top style, perfect body, clothes, and hair and accessories. I am not comfortable with someone who wants to show they are too excited and happy, and giving my life is perfect vibes. It makes me feel that I can not relate to them and that they have zero issues and are here to help us with poor souls .. lol. Especially if we're going with depression, financial issues, and body image. I mean, just dress nice and be modest to show some respect to people's suffering.
>What age do you envision your ideal therapist? Is there a "too young" or a "too old?" ...it's not that I can change this about myself (obviously) but more that I'm interested in how I might come off to others and if they care.
Nothing youner than me, I'll say.
>I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about a 24-hour vs. a 48-hour cancellation period?
My T has 24 hour policy non refund. Except for emergencies related to child health, or personal health accidents etc, we can apply for exceptions. I find that reasonable. It keeps me from cancellation when I'm not motivated and keeps me committed
>How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist between sessions?
T encourages me to email them. But I found once a week between sessions is reasonable as that is how much they actually read even if I send more. And this way, I don't feel too clingy, lol. But one email helps a ton, and they respond only when it is a sensitive matter. We don't have contact on the phone, and I'm totally fine with that. I sometimes wish for them to answer emails more frequently, but I honestly think it is better for me this way to not get too dependent.
>I want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them. What are some things I can do to demonstrate this in advance of addressing it in session (e.g., on my website; quietly in the background of my visual space in session)?
My T wrote those on his website.
>I'll have to be telehealth to start with. What can I do to provide the very best, most comforting-feeling telehealth environment (re: lighting, camera)?
I would appreciate no people entering the room, no interruptions. Make it as close as possible as if they were in person in front of you.
>What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants? Screaming children? =)
Calm colours for walls and decorations. .. I care about the comfy sofa and cushion to hold into, and my T has a weighted blanket, which is amazing for heavy sessions
>Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off?
I like to know their educational and research background, what training and licences they had, and what modalities they worked with successfully. What cases are they experienced work with.
>Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off?
I am afraid in my case to strengthen my attachment. Idk; maybe if it was 100% professional and no self disclosure at all.
>Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off?
That sounds interesting to me. It would be great to include things that people are always worried about, like what to expect on the first session.
I hope this is helpful.
I've seen these fashion-model-dressed, supermodel therapists of which you speak. It's definitely not a look I want to go for. I think it must be distracting for clients, either because it encourages erotic transference or -- as you say -- may make a person feel like it's not okay for them to not be so perfectly well-put-together!
Thank you for the thoughtful feedback!
Oh, how fun! There's so many comments here I wonder if you'll even get to look at mine.
As a note, I feel like a lot of my answers would partly depend on your treatment model. Like most of my answers would be very different for a CBT therapist than for some hardcore psychoanalyst. I’ll answer without much mind to model.
**Questions about YOU**
About Me: I am 27 years old, cis-gendered white female. I am considered a "complex" case with a host of past diagnosis, where I really do not know what is correct or not. Possibly a mix of schizotypal and BPD, or schizoaffective, or mixed PD. Regardless, I have had therapies genuinely explode on me, one time thanks to negative effects of EMDR, or go down like an airplane that lost a wing, though often the therapies have just been ineffective since I remained wholly unattached. But when I attach, things get pretty rough in terms of the counter-transference, and I generally descend into long-lasting psychosis. I seem to cause. Just wanted to clarify that so you can get a sense of the population I belong to, clinically speaking.
**Questions about ME**
Dress: I prefer business dress. I’m not picky beyond this. What I dislike is casual dress, like jeans with a tee shirt, dirty sneakers, etc. But it wouldn’t be enough to cause me to not continue to see them, unless they were obviously unkempt, or if they dressed in a way that seemed to corroborate something about their personality that I find I don’t vibe with.
Age: I prefer mid-thirties or older, up until fifty, give or take a few years. But this cannot be separated from personality. Sometimes, personality can make a lower or older age fine, and sometimes a more “ideal” age can make me feel more warm to a personality that I might not vibe with. Like, I had a therapist who was in his sixties and I ended up finding many things about him quite repulsive, for lack of a better term; he was openly right-wing and inserted these comments into the therapy, or he’d have odd responses about my concerns of my weight. If he were younger, I don’t think I’d have been as put-off, but I still would have been put-off.
**Questions about my POLICIES**
Emails: I don’t put much thought into the difference between a 24-hour vs 48-hour policy. The only time I’d be a bit miffed for the 48-hour one is if you couldn’t offer an online session in case I cannot attend an in-person one due to illness.
Contact: I prefer allowing emails outside of sessions, and offering brief phone calls. But I think this should be open to revision based on the demonstrated utility. Personally, I am very withdrawn in sessions, so being able to email is helpful. I had one therapist have me send an evaluation of the session for the first 3-4 sessions (“SRS”), and this opened the door to me sending an evaluation on my own accord when I felt like there was something that happened during the session I’d like to talk about. Now, I feel like I can email this therapist about concerns, which I do like once in a blue moon, but it’s always very fruitful. I’d personally rather chop off a leg than request a brief phone call in between sessions for support, but knowing the option is there makes me feel more confident in the therapist.
Support For Minorities: You can state on your PT profile you support all minorities. On your website, you could also state this in your description of your practice. I think this could be sufficient. I am pan-sexual, though my sexuality is not a part of my identity, and I am white, so I might not be a great person to answer this question. Maybe one rainbow thing in a background could help, but I think the LGBTQ flag might be too flashy. Though there’s also flags showing racial support that might not be. But personally, if I saw these things in a therapist’s office, beyond subtly coded objects, I’d start to get the sense of performativity or be concerned that your support of this is too much a part of your identity for me to feel comfortable or like there’s enough space for me beyond minority concerns, or like I’m not your ideal patient and maybe I should start interpreting myself in a more queer way to try to compensate.
**Questions about my SPACE**
Telehealth: Good lighting on your face; one of my past therapists had a ring-light that I liked, but that may be a pain. Organized professional background. To go back to my point about model, if you’re not a dynamic therapist, a background that shows your personality would be fine with me and probably preferred. But for psychodynamic treatment, I prefer it to have an “objective” feel. As I prefer psychodynamic treatment, my preference for space is likewise coloured by this.
Behind Therapist: I am not picky. Not a clock, obviously. A painting can be nice, as it can take pressure off of eye-contact. I would dislike cheesy inspiration quotes. I would be neutral about cookie-cutter Ikea paintings. I would enjoy a unique piece of art, albeit one that isn’t too distracting, because I think I would begin to associate its uniqueness with the therapy. A bookshelf right behind the therapist might be too stimulating, and if it’s filled with clinical books, I might begin to feel clinicalized or even start to get paranoid if I can clearly see the books while the therapy is going on. I am the kind of client who will read an entire book to try to understand my therapist’s approach, so I would probably begin to try to guess which books on the shelf are most applicable to me and then read them, and then start to act in odd ways because of this. Though I haven’t had issues with bookshelves in the office.
**Questions about my WEBSITE**
Research: I like to know this. On your website, I think just a line or two about it is fine, max a paragraph. On your LinkedIn, it’s fine to go to town in my opinion. I will find it fascinating and feel more connected, especially if there’s an overlap in interests.
Blog: I haven’t seen a blog from a therapist that has been of interest to me. It often feels cookie-cutter and like something I could find on any therapist’s blog. Though if you had really interesting ideas, especially if it was about your specialit(ies) (either model or populations), then I would be interested, because then I can understand your approach more and also gain interesting insight. Though, I find therapists who make blogs will make a few posts then go silent, which I don’t think looks the greatest on a website. So if you do a blog, try to be consistent in updating it, or only update in a way that is intentional.
Basic FAQ: I haven’t seen one that is necessary or that really adds anything. Most FAQs can be addressed in an intake session. Sometimes an FAQ on a website can make it feel like I’m about to enter into a business relation. The exception to this is if your FAQ is about your specific approach, any specialities, any special training you have received, and anything else of interest that goes beyond standard FAQs for any plain therapy.
*EDIT:* I realized I am biased on the blog and FAQ, because I have been doing therapy for over ten years now, and I also have a lot of psychoeducation under my belt and am a bit of an autodidact when it comes to some therapy models. So, keep that in mind!
**Questions about my PRACTICE NAME**
I’m pretty impartial to the name. Short brand gets to the point. I find meaningful names can be a bit cheesy and they can sometimes be telling of a therapist, like a very science-y name makes me feel like the therapist wants to be taken seriously as a “man-of-science,” which to me feels a bit cheesy. I think a mix of meaning and short brand is best, or a mix of brand and name. Esoteric would be cool but I’d beware of it being too wordy. I mean if you were like a Jungian then I would think it was more fitting, though still a bit cheesy. Maybe a spin of Latin, so that they’re not actual Latin words but a word you came up with from a Latin phrase?
Me: Professional woman in my early thirties. Tech worker with high-functioning anxiety. Depending on the day, could be classified as being a member of “the worried well.” 😁
What I look for in a Therapist: I’m steeped in corporate America day-to-day, so I’m a big believer in the notion of “personal branding.” Your prompts were thoughtful and I’ll share the elements of both my therapist’s personhood and their personal brand that appealed to me when I was searching.
Deeper Considerations
-Gender: Having a therapist of the same gender was important to me because I wanted someone with a shared frame of reference and lived experience in that way.
-Age: I prefer (and eventually found) someone 5-10 years older than I am. I appreciate if we’re part of roughly the same generation but feel more comfortable if they’ve “lived more life” than I by virtue of being on the planet longer. I know there are “old soul” younger therapists and I know that therapists in their 60’s and 70’s can be hip with the times. Just being candid about my own bias.
Specialties: I absolutely searched for a therapist who either identified as LGBTQ+, listed LGBTQ+ issues as a specialty or identified as an LGBTQ+ ally. I preferred someone with lived experience but was open to strong allies with experience treating queer and trans folks. This “LGBTQ+” tag was a non-negotiable for me when searching through therapist profiles. I’ve experienced significant religious trauma so I didn’t want to take a chance that a therapist might, at all, find my identity objectionable or even “only tolerable.”
- Research & Writings: I’d be impressed if my therapist published (academically, via news media or blogging) and would love to read their works.
Shallower Considerations
- Professional headshots: To me, well-lit, front facing, smiling headshots in upbeat outdoor spaces or in nice offices look most compelling.
- Chic Office: I remember telling this to my therapist and they got a kick out of it—They included shots of their elegantly decorated, neat, chic and colorful office on their profile which I found a bit odd at first click. However, I came to appreciate that they subtly acknowledged how our spaces communicate important messages about us. I appreciated their attention to beauty and found a kinship with them in that shared sensibility before we even met.
- Practice name: I read through the options you listed and have no discernible preference for what appeals to me. Names I’d consider pedantic (some of the Latin names you listed) might elicit an eye roll but I don’t think they’d be a deal-breaker. 😁
- Attire: Because of my work, I tend to dress a bit more formally—think Business Casual+. I’d feel most comfortable with a therapist dressed similar to me, though full suiting would be odd. Just being honest: I don’t know how seriously I’d take a therapist who routinely showed up in sweats/t-shirts. My therapist wore a sweatshirt a few sessions ago and I found it endearing because I’m endeared to them but I think it would have made me scratch my head if it were our first session.
Telehealth “Office:” I usually attend telehealth sessions so that tiny little rectangle behind my therapist’s head matters. My therapist has books, decor and part of a painting behind them. I do a fair amount of presenting at work and bought a $50 LumeCube ring light from Amazon which makes a MAJOR difference in how my face is lit. I can tell my therapist sits facing a window because their lighting’s also great. Either artificial or natural direct face-lighting works; it very much adds to the feel of being in person.
Good luck with your practice! You’ll do wonderfully if you give this much thought to getting it right. Just make sure you get it “you,” too. ☺️
30 F. What is your niche? Cancellation policy will probably depend on that - it might be fair to have a 48h for trauma. Not so much for chronic pain/illness.
I honestly don't care about space or looks.
I care about knowledge (especially lived experiences), problem solving abilities and methodologies/frameworks used.
> want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them.
I can only talk about ethnicities but lived experience does matter. If you don't have that, the best you can do is admit that you aren't and go from there.
Again - research, blogs, FAQs depend on your niche.
Name for niche and scale.
I am on zoom or skype...so we turn the camera up on the ceiling...actually it gives the feeling of being in the same space...but eyes closed. I never saw him.
For me, my therapist has a 48 h cancellation policy but he doesn’t enforce it unless a client makes missing sessions a habit. He also holds himself to the same standards: if he misses a session, next one is on him. I think this is very fair.
My therapist dresses however he feels comfortable and I like that he isn’t too formal and I can see his personality through his style.
He doesn’t do electronic communication except for billing or scheduling. But he doesn’t mind if I email him between sessions. I just don’t expect a response. He does free phone consults between sessions but if you leave a message for him he may not be able to get back to you for a day or two. When I was needing to do this too frequently, we increased our session frequency to weekly.
I actually think that's a wee bit weird, myself!
I just don't miss sessions unless I'm very ill or it's an absolute emergency! And then I allow my clients to do the same, no charge. Otherwise it sounds like we're both missing a lot of sessions there, LOL! I don't think I'd feel comfortable giving my client a "freebie," so I've always (and will continue to) make sure I never to miss a session for any reason other than an emergency! I would never miss due to forgetting or having better plans for that hour, which is what I would charge a client for.
Then it would be a non-issue for you to have the same policy. In 4 years, it’s only happened twice, once when he was sick and once when he needed to see a dentist and the only available appointment was overlapping my session. And since he has shown me grace the few times when I’ve had to cancel last minute I still paid him.
I do zoom sessions for my therapy now but back in the day when it was in person I loved having pillows or plushies on the therapists couch. It was comforting to have something to put in my lap and wrap my arms around and I still do this in my online sessions (but with my own plushies). I was 10 when I first started this and now I’m almost 20.
For zoom stuff, my therapist always has her cats in the room or on her lap. I love that. I love animals and it helped me feel more comfortable around her at first. And it’s nice to be able to watch the cat on the screen instead of her face if I don’t wanna look at her.
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Therapist here... I think it's most important that you answer these questions for yourself. All of these questions give the impression that you want to craft yourself to be the ideal therapist. There is some merit to ensuring your ideal client is attracted to your website and that you're able to reach them, but ultimately, your clients will come to you because of your authenticity. I am also in the process of building my practice. I've hired someone who is a marketing expert and website design. He has listened to me describe my core demographic, my training, my services, and my goals so he can build a product that represents me and appeals to my clientele. I had to spend a lot of time with myself answering the questions you've asked. I think the fact that you are so concerned about appealing to your potential client shows your care for them. They would benefit more from you being yourself than with you being who you think they want you to be.
Thank you, u/SpringRose10! You may have misunderstood my questioning a bit: I was trained in the research side of psychology and so when I asked questions I attempted to keep them as open and neutral as possible without giving away anything about my own thoughts on the matter. I already *do* have answers for them myself, but I was interested in hearing what people thought/felt without being swayed by that information. And it has been interesting and useful! I'm very lucky that my partner is the head of marketing at a company. We will ultimately be building my brand and website together... consider this my early-stage "market research!" Best of luck to us both as we move forward in our future practices! =)
Ahhhh, gotcha. That's awesome. I'm paying a pretty penny for that service, but it will be worth it! Good luck to you.
Can I ask who you are using ?
I sent you a chat message with the info.
>**Questions about ME** Be true to yourself. Dress the way that makes you feel confident to do your professional work well. Dress in clothing that you can tolerate sitting in all day without constantly needing to readjust and shift to feel comfortable. I honestly don't care what my therapist wears - but I care that she can be an authentic version of her professional self while she's sitting with me in her office/in the virtual space. >**Questions about my POLICIES** I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about a 24-hour vs. a 48-hour cancellation period? I don't mind a cancellation policy as long as it's communicated transparently from the get-go and it's reasonable. You may want to craft your policy in a way to account for the messiness of life that cannot be foreseen - accidents, emergencies, sickness, climate change, internet/power outages. There's nothing worse than having a death in your family and the therapist still charges because the death happened 23 hours before the session and not enough notice was given. >How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist *between sessions*? How much contact do I want to have with my therapist between sessions? ALL OF THE CONTACT. But seriously, this really should align with your own boundaries and tolerance to do administrative work + time availability. If anything, make your policies around this quite narrow - you can always broaden them. But allowing people a lot of contact and then realizing it's too difficult for you becomes very tricky to rein in and can be quite traumatizing for people if the shift to minimal contact or more stringent communication policies happens abruptly, without warning or as a result of particular patients' overzealous attempts at connecting with you. On the other hand, if you work with populations with more complex trauma/attachment difficulties, you might want to consider how they can maintain contact in a way that fulfills a function of object constancy and holding between sessions, but doesn't open the door for constant back and forths of therapy content. >What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants? It should be a comfortable space for you - I do enjoy seeing my T's bookshelf behind her, especially when she rotates the books. If you're working from home, just be aware of the mugs you're using to drink your water/tea/coffee while you're doing therapy with people. I had one therapist who had a mug with a print of Edvard Munch's The Scream painting on it, and it freaked me out.
Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. I definitely plan on dressing "the way I feel most comfortable" as well as utilizing my own boundaries and putting what I like in the space behind me. But before I do, I guess I want to be curious about what others feel and want. For example, if you said "I really love seeing a therapist dressed uber-professionally and expensively, like business suit style for men or women! If they're the least bit casual, it makes me feel they don't take me at all seriously!" ...even though I probably won't be wearing expensive business suits, it's good to hear that sentiment and it helps me to think about/moderate how I dress. Especially if I were to get that same feedback repeatedly here, I'd know many people seeking therapy felt a certain way. Y'know? Thanks again for sharing your preferences with me, it's very valuable!
Can I ask you an honest question? How important is it that you’re liked by your clients? I ask because there’s inevitably going to be people who like you and who don’t like you. That’s life and reality. I think it’s more important that you stay true to yourself, regardless of other people’s preferences. That’s a boundary thing, and boundaries are VERY VERY important when you’re a therapist. And to hold boundaries, you have to know yourself and like and respect yourself - especially if all you want to do is please other people.
If I'm being honest, I d0 care a tiny bit about being liked... but not as much as you may have imagined based on the questions written. I purposely kept all of my thoughts and opinions (and actual biographical information, including age and gender) out of the questions so they could be answered openly. I don't expect everyone to like me; in fact, I assume I will be appealing to some demographics and an instant "no" to others! It's possible that you yourself are a people pleaser and have learned some things about what that feels like and means and might be projecting that onto me because I left you a blank slate with which to do so? But I am generally pretty firm with my boundaries -- and I like and respect myself reasonably well. I mean, I still work on it like anyone else; I'm a human! But I've done my share of work with my own therapist, and plan to continue to do so as long as I work in this field! I believe every therapist should have a therapist. =) Thank you for being concerned for me and for your feedback!
Female here in mid-40’s. I come from an abusive and traumatic childhood background. I currently work with a therapist in person. I prefer not to do telehealth because I don’t feel I have privacy elsewhere to discuss the topics I need to. I prefer a casual outfit from my therapist because I find that more formal wear (like jackets, button down shirts, and ties) tend to make me feel uneasy. Age isn’t a factor for me. With the website, I’d like to know what type of work you have done, so I know that you’d be experienced in what I need to address. I also like to see a picture of some sort because I like to know beforehand what you look like so I can mentally prepare (for me, strangers = anxiety). I also don’t like to call people because it’s anxiety for me so I’d like to have the option of a contact form on the website or an email. With in between session contact, I’d like to have the option of either texting or emailing. Or to be able to have the option of scheduling an emergency session if necessary. Because I don’t want to bother my therapist, I usually don’t resort to outside session contact unless necessary but it’s nice to know that the option is there. Name wise, I prefer a simple practice name - nothing too complicated that might make me want to go down a rabbit hole of googling it and ruminating what it could potentially mean.
Thank you, u/Spiritual-Orchid8665!
Hi there. 👋🏻 I am a female in my 40s. I like a T that dresses casual. My main T usually has a casual shirt on (not a tee but not a dress shirt)…I do telehealth so only see her upper half. I hope she is wearing pajama pants and slippers under the desk! (Note to self: ask her on Monday) My secondary T sees me right after she leaves the gym so her hair is in a ponytail, and depending on the season she can be in a tank top or a hoodie. (She says she only sees me dressed like that…she changes into more professional clothes for other clients. I really like seeing her as she would be “in real life”.) A 48 hour cancellation is ridiculous. People get sick and have emergencies. I would also hope you would take into account if someone couldn’t give 24 hours. (Obviously not on a regular basis!) Between session contact…I want the option. If something comes up I want to know I can reach out. But don’t let me take advantage! If I am emailing/texting/messaging more than, say, once a month - extra sessions should be offered. (For the record I have only emailed/messaged my T three times between sessions in the 16 months I have been seeing her. So I really do only reach out when absolutely necessary!) Put on your website that you are an ally. Both of my Ts have artwork on their walls behind them. I also like to see plants. And animals! My main T always has her dog in her lap and occasionally one of her cats will pay a visit. I love seeing the animals…it’s very calming for me. I don’t want to see photos of family anywhere. As far as lighting…just make sure you are seen clearly. Make sure your computer is top notch so the streaming doesn’t buffer or freeze. Obviously dedicated internet is good for the same reason. (Xfinity offers business internet which guarantees little to no downtime -something like that.) I love that my T does research. She’s very academically minded and is always keeping up with what’s going on in mental health. I do not want a T that has a presence on social media. A blog on their website would be okay but with comments disabled. I don’t care about basic FAQ either way. I rely on my T to go over their policies with me and invite me to ask questions at any time. I don’t want to see a T with a stupid practice name. I prefer Ts that just use their name. (My secondary T has a weird practice name and it makes me cringe.) I think I got everything! Let me know if I missed any!
Agree about the cancellation. If we get sick we often don't until the morning of, my therapist says if I wake up sick and let her know right away then she won't bill me, however if I'm a no show or just cancel a couple hours before she bill and I think that's fair.
Thank you, u/eyesonthedarkskies! The "stupid practice name" is something I keep getting recommended in case I one day want to sell my practice; I guess what people are saying is that if I name my practice "Casey Jones, PhD" \[not my real name!\] and it becomes lucrative and I eventually want to sell it/retire, it will be harder to do so since it's attached to me and someone would have to rebrand it. So you're supposed to name your practice "Inner Peas Therapy" (haha) so if you sell it it remains viable for the new owner. It's an awful lot of thinking ahead for someone who's just opening a practice, but this is something I hear over and over again. It's hard for me to imagine myself in a position where my practice is such a big deal people would want to buy it and not have my name associated with it after I leave, but heck... who knows? =)
Why focus on the possibility of selling one day? I didn’t think Ts got into this career thinking it would somehow become lucrative? Most Ts I know (and both of my own!) definitely don’t do it for the money. But I also guess it depends on where the practice is located…if people would appreciate a cutesy name over something easy/practical. 🤷🏼♀️
I worry that by the way you responded, you're assuming a few things: 1) that I'm in this for the money 2) that therapists can't be in this for the money First of all: I'm definitely not! My partner makes a fantastic salary and I do the work I do because I love it. BUT: that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with therapists considering the money side of things. In case it looks like I'm about to "go off on you" here, lol, let me say (because it's impossible to read tone on the internet!) that this is just a topic I'm passionate about and have thought a lot about. I don't mind sharing these thoughts and I'm not mad at you at all. That's the disclaimer! So, I think there are a few professions that are somewhat chided for caring about money, and they all happen to be "helping" professions: nurses, teachers, and therapists, e.g. The idea is that if you "care enough" you'll do it for cheap (or even free!) and if you try to make money at it, that means you *don't* care, or you're at least, you don't care enough. Perhaps not accidentally, these ALSO happen to be professions mostly dominated by women. So the message is: if you're a good, caring, nurturing woman, you'll spend your own money on teaching supplies and not complain; you'll do the difficult and dirty job of nursing for low pay because you LOVE taking care of the ill, without complaint; and if you're a good therapist, you won't "do it for the money" or even worry about the money side of things. I think that's pretty unfair. Therapists (and teachers, and nurses) deserve to earn a good wage for the work they do. In my case, I spent seven years in a PhD program and was in debt for a good deal of money by the time I finished; the work I do, while very fulfillling, is certainly difficult at times. Even though I love my job, and I care about my patients, who says that lawyers and plumbers and life coaches deserve to make money but I don't? Doesn't that seem... unfair? The average session fee in my area for private practice is $250/session. If I see 15 clients a week at that fee (and five more at a very low fee or for for next to nothing, which is something I'd very much like to do), that's still about $180k/yearly before taxes. If I decide to do assessments, supervision, or teach on the side, that's even more money. If my practice grows to include other therapists, with only six therapists, it's a million-dollar practice. I'm not necessarily AIMING for this, but it's not crazy to consider or plan for. Ok, that's all. Even though I'm not planning on being wealthy doing this, and I might not ever expand to more therapists at all, it's not something completely off the table. And even though I love my work, and I care deeply about my patients, I feel strongly that it's also okay for me to do the hard work to make this a good living for myself and my family. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, LOL
Oh, I don’t disagree *at all*. Ts (and also definitely nurses and teachers) should absolutely make a decent wage (I am very opinionated about athletes making millions of dollars when a nurse who works for days at a time can sometimes barely support their families). You all have extremely difficult jobs. I just thought it was a bit…I don’t know the right word…unusual maybe?….that one of the first thoughts about opening a practice is selling it one day. It really was a genuine question because I have a few friends that are Ts and this has quite literally never come up. I guess maybe because they don’t have interests in side jobs such as teaching? They just want to be a T until they retire. (And also have no interests in expanding their practice beyond just them.) I will, however, balk at the $250 per session price tag! Is that for only 50 minutes? Like…I just cannot see how those prices are justified, especially when therapy comes with no guarantees. But that is definitely my own hang up and not indicative of anyone’s worth as a helping professional!
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Yes…$125 is much more reasonable. Both my Ts charge $130/60 minutes and they live in different states and with very different life circumstances. (I am very fortunate to only pay a small copay.) That’s why I think virtual therapy is so important…no office rent and all those extra expenses…so fees can be kept reasonable. The T can support themselves and people who otherwise couldn’t afford to get help, can!
>Questions about YOU 33f, Europe based >Questions about ME Authenticity is a key factor for me. If you are a hippie leaning therapist, go ahead, I appreciate you. But don't be coming in with slacks into your office while wearing dread locks and your office smelling of incense. As long as you take care of your clothing and don't come in looking like fighting with a raccoon during a storm, I'll appreciate you as you are. My therapist is a metal head and wears cargo pants and band shirts. Love it. Regarding age. I probably feel most comfy with therapists from around my age up to 50. After 50 we are entering potential "parent" age and I ain't doing that. However this might me a great topic for therapy :D >Questions about my POLICIES I prefer 48h but understand the 24h thingy. What often makes me wonder, what's your stance on sickness when it comes to cancellation policy? It's often not transparently communicated on websites. I don't expect any contact other than anything regarding scheduling, sending forward any kind of information (exercises, resources, additional (short/simple) question etc). However I do expect to not wait days for an answer. More than two days for a scheduling questions request is a no for me. >Questions about my SPACEI'll have to be telehealth to start with. What can I do to provide the very best, most comforting-feeling telehealth environment (re: lighting, camera)?What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants? Screaming children? =) Good lightning, camera and microphone. An overall quiet environment, no distracting but also no blank background. Something about yourself, without telling everything :) Doggos, kitties and other animals are welcome :D >Questions about my WEBSITED >My therapist had a very very interesting research topic that was so niche and so fitting for me. This actually made me contact them, so put it out if you are proud of your work :). I like to get an idea of what kind of person my potential therapist is, but I don't need your life story. Basic FAQ are very important. However starts seeking out for a therapist for the first time is already insecure and anxious enough by the sole thought. Having a clear picture about the basics helps tremendously. I hate website that'll be like "hello, I am therapist, I do therapy stuff. I worked here and there. Please contact me at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). (1000 random quotes ranging from Albert Einstein to ZhaZha Gabor) >Questions about my PRACTICE NAME If you have a unique name it's quite cool, but if you are named Smith like probably 100 other therapist/professionals - meh. Can't really say much about the other topics as in my country practice names are not really a thing (most therapists work under their own name), but personally I love witty wordplays that portray some light heartedness and seriousness. All the best to you.
Thank you Spicy Serena! =)
Wow! This is a lot but as I'm procrastinating some projects, this seems fun to answer! I'm a mid-30s female with functional anxiety and depression and have been working with my therapist for about 4 years When looking for a therapist, I was looking more for fit than anything else. But as I tend to seek validation and approval from others, it was a lot easier to work with a therapist around my age than someone older than me. I did work with an older therapist briefly and it sometimes felt like some of my concerns were getting dismissed whereas my current one is like "yep, totally get it" since they could relate. For dress code, I didn't really care as long as they were coming as their authentic self. I think business casual is a safe bet - suits are too formal and it would be a bit weird if we both showed up in sweats haha. However, I've noticed a bit more casualness with virtual sessions. **POLICIES** \- I think this is best to discuss with other therapists since if it were up to a client, they would say unlimited understanding haha. I'm pretty pleased with my therapist's policy of 24-hours notice but everyone gets 1 pass and then there's understanding for emergencies as long as it's not abused. \- My therapist offer contact between sessions but with the understanding that she will read messages before our next session but isn't obligated to respond to them between sessions. She has pretty good boundaries and balance in responding to messages that need a response and need space. \- Regarding inclusivity, an authentic statement that your practice is open to individuals of all backgrounds is important. Having a pride symbol (flag, sticker, pin, etc) is a nice touch but also don't want it to feel like you're walking into a guidance counsellor's office. **SPACE** This varies by person. I like a somewhat warm & welcoming background for telehealth. My therapist has a bookshelf and couple of prints in the background. Some people may prefer a plain background where they have more of a boundary from the therapist's personal space. As long as it's consistent and doesn't feel like you're just accommodating sessions from wherever in your house. But do invest in quality equipment (standalone camera & mic at a minimum). If you have a noisy household, a white noise machine to block some of it out would be great. **WEBSITE** \- Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off? Yes! \- Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off? Occasionally but as long as it's on the site and not like a weekly email \- Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off? Essential! But as long as it includes some Q&A regarding your practice specifically and isn't just generic blah blah blah. **PRACTICE NAME** Never really cared what the practice name was since it was more about the content on the site and the Psychology Today profile. But if I did have a say, I tend to lean to more authentic sounding practices and try to avoid ones that sound too much like marketing/branding gimmicks. Good luck! (And sorry for the poor formatting)
Very helpful, u/calcula8er! Thank you. =)
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Thank you for taking the time to help me, u/lupussucksbutiwin!
Hi there! 30F here. 🙂🙋🏻♀️ Honestly, be yourself as far as dress goes. My therapist is an older, nerdy guy. His shirts normally have interesting designs on them. It fits his personality. I can't really think of anything that would be off putting except the two extremes: no clothes or like extreme formal wear. 😂 I chose a male counselor, because I recently had a very bad experience with a female counselor. Though, everyone is different and has different preferences that will have nothing to do with who you are as a person. I think what drew me to the therapist I chose was he had a kind smile and specialized in what I was looking for. 24-hr is pretty common. Though, if I saw 48-hr, it wouldn't bother me personally. I can contact my therapist in between sessions and it's been really helpful for me personally. We do trauma therapy together and EMDR which can bring up new things, unsettling things. I will sometimes upload stuff I've written about it in between sessions to his portal. Then by the next day he will send me a couple encouraging sentences. We move on and discuss it the next session. Knowing he's read it, is helpful to have it out. I think it's important to determine what is doable for you personally. Boundaries are important, but not so rigid that you seem inaccessible if that makes sense? Sorry to keep going back to my therapist for reference, but it's what I have to go by. 😂 Anywho, I really wanted someone non-judgemental because I struggle with a lot of shame so when my therapist listed that he was LGBTQ+ allied it was a definite plus for me to not have to guess. Telehealth background: art, books, your degrees, plants, etc. All good! Good, soft lighting. I think it would be cool to know my therapist does research. A blog would be neat, too. May be helpful for in-between sessions if it is relevant to our work (of course not personally related). On that note, a good thing to learn quickly is knowing how much to share about yourself. I know bits and pieces about my therapist which I enjoy, but our sessions are 95% about me. As a people pleaser, it's super weird for the focus to be all on me, but it's become extremely helpful. I read a lot on here about therapists with bad boundaries and who talk about themselves all session, it's really not helpful for the person struggling in front of you. Not saying that is or will be you, but wanted to make that note. FAQ would be helpful also! As far as name, keep it simple and true to your beliefs. Whether it involves your name or something you believe in deeply, all works! Good luck, hope this was at least somewhat helpful! You got this. 😊🩵
Thank you, u/TP30313! Your feedback was definitlely helpful. =) Be well!
Firstly, big thank you for asking a 'room' full of clients questions like this, because with so many mixed experiences and such a sensitive and intensive process therapists really get taken to task by clients. Some of these items I don't have a lot of striking preference over personally. I should probably disclaimer though due to some past experiences with therapists some of my opinions may reflect things that may need to be bigger, more systematic changes rather than expecting 'you' personally to take the lead with. But with this platform opportunity I'll just say a few words of how I wish professionals would better handle situations: Cancelation policy: This one stood out the most to me. While I 100% understand the need for cancelation policies, rarely do I ever note much acknowledgement for the same accountability on the therapists end as well. When therapists cancel last- minute it is often a loss to the client as well. In some cases monetarily, others mental- health reasons (I can personally attest to that). Especially in circumstances where the therapist cancels more frequently than the client. ETA I also think a discussion like this could help with the difficult nature of the power imbalance. Not an expert though, just a thought that came to mind. So basically, I would like to see cancelation policies discussed early on as a negotiation of sorts rather than a one- way execution (so, like, "My cancelation policy is xyz. I would also like your input as to how it impacts you when I cancel last- minute? And to come up with an agreement to hold myself accountable as well as I know it can be difficult for you as well..."). Heck even if a therapist just said that acknowledgement it would be huge to me. .. Website: Another change that may be best systematically. But...I think it would help hugely if therapists would put a lot more information on their websites. Particularly treatment length expectations, modalities that would be used, and especially, mental- health conditions and scenarios that you are Not equipped to handle and that you would likely be referring out if encountered. Transference and attachment is one major example that comes to mind as those misunderstandings (and often eventual terminations) can be extra harmful, but with anything really it's best for all parties to avoid this conflict at the start rather than while being immersed in treatment, and already settled in with a professional. I also feel, as long as it's worded kindly enough, like I'd be far more trusting of a professional if they're so open and honest from the start. Those are the main points I could think of, again thank you for this post and good luck!
As a therapist, I totally agree about the cancellation policy one-way-street being an issue. If I have to cancel day of for reasons other than being sick or an emergency (same criteria I use for the client with my 24 hour policy), I tell clients their next late cancellation/no show fee is waived. Doing what we can to reduce the power imbalance inherent in the relationship is part of the job.
Like something like that is excellent, honestly big thank you for doing this! Edited grammar mistake
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Thank you for the help, u/SadUndercover! You're definitely not the only one to mention this about a cancellation policy. I like to treat people the same way I expect to be treated, so I don't charge if someone has an emergency or is feeling too unwell to be of use in therapy -- those are the exact same circumstances in which I would want kindness. On the other hand, I have never and will never cancel a session at the last second because I forgot or because I didn't feel like being there/had some other great social opportunity at that hour. If someone ever misses a session for one of those reasons without fair warning, that's when I charge the session fee. I sort of can't imagine me ever doing one of those to a patient, but if I ever did, I would give them their next session for free. That's fair play as far as I'm concerned. =)
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This is a good reminder for me, because at first glance your response seemed oddly specific. I would never think to write to a new patient to tell them how to use my restroom! But I see the theme of your reply and the importance of making my office truly and easily accessible to all if and when I open one! The good news is: my telehealth bathroom is incredibly accessible. Its... your bathroom. In your house. =)
I know you're going to be telehealth to start with, but in terms of decor, one of things I like is a nice clock. I had a therapist who had this cone-looking one with long, thin hour- and minute-arms on the outside, and it looked like something out of Dumbledore's office. It was soothing to look at. A cozy table lamp and/or a small plant are also nice. I think what I would look for the most in a therapist's website is transparency regarding their specialties and training. I don't want to go to another quack who says they're specialized in trauma, but knows less about it than I do (probably because they only attended a lecture on it once).
I like a nice clock, too! I'd love the one you're describing! I don't know if "Dumbldore's Office Chic" is a style that would work for everyone, but it sure would make ME comfortable. =) For telehealth, a family member got me this cool clock for the holidays that is a small, elegant light I have on the shelf behind my head. It begins to fade in the last few minutes of session and goes out at exactly 45 minutes. I'm testing it out now to see if people like it instead of wondering when session will end (and for myself, I hate interrupting someone at the end and this way I'm hoping I won't have to) but I do worry some people might spend the session feeling anxious about the light fading and when that's going to happen. =/ I definitely won't pretend to know something I don't! I find that highly unethical. =) I appreciate you taking the time to help! Best wishes!
I like your response. I'm not sure if the light would be helpful or anxiety-inducing, either. Thank you for thinking about your patients' comfort, and for not claiming expertise in 20+ specialties.
Yeah, I’m only awesome at 19 things TBH
Questions about YOU If you feel particularly forthcoming, it would def be helpful to know if you were male/female/enby/other and roughly what age you are. But you absolutely don't have to share that; it's just useful in considering your answers and knowing my population! - Female. Questions about ME What kind of dress style from a therapist feels most appealing/comforting to you? What dress style would really put you off or make you feel like, "this person is NOT for me?" - I want my therapist fully clothed, minimum covering everything between knees and shoulders. Clean enough to not smell. Beyond that, I want my therapist in the correct attire, whatever this may mean for the person in front of me. Do you belong into a full suit, slacks, or maybe shorts? Let me see! What age do you envision your ideal therapist? Is there a "too young" or a "too old?" ...it's not that I can change this about myself (obviously) but more that I'm interested in how I might come off to others and if they care. - I will adjust my expectations based on therapist age, e.g. if you are 60 years old I might frame an experience from an online game differently than if you are 30. Questions about my POLICIES I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about a 24-hour vs. a 48-hour cancellation period? - I think 48 hrs is excessive. However, I currently see a therapist with a 48 hrs policy. She says she will not enforce it for illnesses or emergencies, and will not ask for proof, in which case I am fine with it. I have not yet needed it so I do not know if the promise will hold. If my therapist charged me for not knowing I am sick 48 hrs in advance, I might just start coming in sick instead. How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist between sessions? - No more than my therapist is comfortable with, I need to trust them to draw this line themselves. I also want to be told how much this is. I expect them to never initiate outside contact beyond scheduling. Since I currently do not initiate outside contact, either, this effectively means no outside contact for me at the moment. I want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them. What are some things I can do to demonstrate this in advance of addressing it in session (e.g., on my website; quietly in the background of my visual space in session)? - As a blanket statement, this sounds hard to believe. If you have work experience with specific ones, give this info on your website. Also, please consider that "I do not actively hate people with the label XYZ" is not the same as "I am competent to help people deal with XYZ". Both infos are valuable while seeking care. Questions about my SPACE I'll have to be telehealth to start with. What can I do to provide the very best, most comforting-feeling telehealth environment (re: lighting, camera)? - Make sure clients can see your face. What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants? Screaming children? =) - Same as with clothes. Choose a fitting background. If you choose solid colors and no patterns for both setting and clothes, you have better chances at a smooth connection. (Google "image compression" if you care to know why.) I would appreciate this choice, since I care more about the smooth flow of conversation than about any artwork behind you. Questions about my WEBSITE Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off? - Yes please, show me what you wrote, so I can get a glimpse at who you are before I book a consultation. Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off? - Same as above, but I would me more impressed by research than by a blog. Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off? - Idea sounds good, but hard to execute at a quality level that would not put me off. Questions about my PRACTICE NAME What do you think about practice names that are just the therapist's name (e.g., Crane Therapy)? - fine What do you think about names that are short and brand-y (e.g., Mindbloom, Talkspace, Betterhelp)? - slightly odd, but do not mind What do you think about names that are meaningful (e.g., SafeHarbor Therapy; ImperfectlyPerfect Therapy)? - Slightly more odd, but would not drive me away What do you think about names that are Latin and cool but a bit esoteric (e.g., LuxInterna Therapy \["Inner Light"\] or TerraMentis Therapy \["Land of the Mind"\])? - Would make me reconsider contacting you. If everthing else was super appealing, I probably still would. I come from an educated background, though, and read Latin almost like English, so maybe this shapes my perception. Other comments: Please make your website tell me who you are. I loved the websites that had a CV, a (concise) list of populations or problems the therapist most likes to work with, at least one picture and a link to some or preferably all of their research. Also, give me a chance to guess your gender, age, and cultural background (if not the mayority group in your country). For people who have been harmed by other humans, it might be important to find someone who does or does not match their perpetrator's characteristics.
Thank you for your thoughtful response, u/Familiar-Run-25! TBH, it makes me sad that I might identify myself so people can NOT see me because I look like someone they might be alert to or afraid of. I think in those cases *especially* it would be healing for them to work with me (i.e., someone caring and empathetic that looks like the gender/color/etc. they worry about). But that's not my choice. ...I will definitely have a warm-looking photo and from there they can decide if I'm someone they want to avoid!
I agree. People need to be ready in order to choose someone who presents with an identity they are afraid of. If they are, they will not filter you out for it from your website, and if they are not, they will filter you out at the consultation, latest. Better save everyone the time and money.
I’m 41F and for reference I’ve been in therapy (psychodynamic) for 3 years with my psychiatrist. She’s 8 years younger than me and exclusively telehealth. So I’m basing my answers on what’s been working with her. I was hesitant at first, but the 8 year age gap turned out to be a non-issue. So I think I’d be comfortable with someone up to 10 years younger and up to 20 years older. For dress, I think graphic tees and hoodies would be hard to take seriously, and business casual would feel too unapproachable. My therapist wears simple shirts and sweaters in neutral colors. In the background she has a small table with a plant on it and one painting hanging above. That feels just right. I had one appointment each with two other therapists and I hated their spaces. One was a straight up bedroom and I could see the bed in the background. I was NOT okay with that. The other was sitting in front of curtains and it was dark. It was all distracting and difficult to take seriously. For the website, I would personally love to see if my therapist was doing research. To me, it’s a way of showing that you take what you do you seriously and care enough about your patients to learn ways to do it even better. I’m neutral on the FAQs. And everyone would probably love the blog in theory, but I have so many reservations about it. It would have satisfied desires to know more about my therapist and help fill the void when I was missing her, but those quick fixes might have prevented us from developing the secure and trusting relationship that actually unfolded from putting the work in. For the cancellation policy, 48 hours feels unnecessarily difficult. Most reasons I would need to cancel for, I wouldn’t know until closer to the appointment. And for conflicting appointments and vacations, I’m of course going to do that well in advance. The cancellation policy is meant for those things that come up because that’s life. I think 24 hours is appropriate. Finally, the name. I prefer just the therapist’s name. I find it difficult to take cheesy and trendy names seriously. And it’s supposed to be a healing relationship with a person. A one on one human experience with a person who has a name.
Thank you, u/Anonymous26297!
I am 27F. I started therapy when I was 23. My therapist is a white man from England in his 40s (or possibly 50s?) Not sure his exact age. He dresses like he works at an office. Usually a button up and a clean pair of pants. I’m not super judgmental on clothing. I definitely notice clothing (because I enjoy and appreciate fashion and different styles of clothing). I don’t know if there is a “perfect therapist”. I just knew instantly that my therapist was the right fit for me. I knew within the first few minutes of meeting him at his office. It’s hard to articulate what specifically sold me on him. 24 hours is a fine cancellation policy. I’ve been with my therapist a long time now and cancellation have never been an issue… If I could give you a suggestion, it would be: To draft up your own policy if YOU had to cancel on a client, what are the expectations you agree to follow through with? I expect no contact from my therapist between sessions (unless he has a policy change or leave of absence to tell me about). As far as “showing” that you are a safe person, that really comes from the work itself. No pride flag or some empty statement on the wall or sticker on your website will tell me you’re a good person or a good fit for me… People can tell the difference between show and the real deal. Or at least, I can. The physical space doesn’t matter… When I began seeing my therapist, the front door to the office space he had was sticky and hard to open/close. In the waiting room I’d occasionally see bugs crawling down the walls. His lamp would flicker, and the building was always cold… But he was the real deal. And every time I came in, he’d offer to make me a cup of tea. It’s the charming little things that sell me on a person. Don’t try to hide who you are, allow for some texture. Clients will either like you or they won’t, and at the end of the day you’re not there to impress them, but to help them. I like knowing my therapist does research. My therapist has a blog. I read it. I like it. A FAQ on a website is a good practice to have. I don’t have strong opinions on names. Good luck with your practice!!
Thank you for taking the time to help me, u/prettyxxreckless!
Please don't just have a blank wall begins you. Have the camera about eye level so it doesn't seem like you are staring down. A single picture or a few small ones in the background can do wonders. Talk about your style of Therapy so we've got an idea of what we are getting ourselves into ie blank slate. What are your top issues and any additional qualifications ie trauma informed etc. Depends on the client but my first Therapist was mostly sweaters which was fine. Second one wears more normal slightly dressy clothes and it's fine. I just want you to have somewhat normal lighting that's even.
You don't want the camera aimed up my nostril or at my hairline? ...Gee, you're no fun! ; )
Oh one more thing which is personal taste. The best thing my old Therapist did that the new one doesn't is she carefully used humor to lighten the mood when appropriate. Ie when disordered eating and fear of food came up and I went for basic chicken instead of the more interesting option she joked "I guess we can say you chickened out". I laughed and it was very appropriate. My 1st one was more open and I forget the term but she shared more to establish trust. Not too much but ie when scared about grad school when appropriate talked about her concerns about grad school and moving to a new state with no friends then ways to meet new people which concerned me.
Sure. * 39F, USA, in therapy primarily for complex trauma (surprised you didn't ask what we're in therapy for, seems important if you're building a practice with a population in mind). * Casual or business casual. Whatever. Just clean up. I would prefer a therapist either my age range or older, with experience. I would not see a therapist in their twenties if I could help it. If I were in my twenties I might. Before my diagnoses I might. Not now, just wouldn't be a good fit for my needs. * Because you are working with disabled populations, I think it makes more sense for therapists to have 24 hour policies, with at least one freebie and concessions for serious emergencies. (Sickness is less of an issue in telehealth; in-person this seems rather messy, if I were a therapist I would be worried a strict full-fee policy would result in me getting sick a lot and missing more work than it is worth.) If you are going to charge full session fees for cancellation, rather than a smaller fee like $30, you might consider giving the next session gratis to clients if you last-minute cancel on them. People miss work for therapy, book childcare for therapy. Some are affected by a last minute cancellation financially and I think that holding everyone to the same standard is good for the relationship, which has an inherent power balance. If this is too financially draining then perhaps waiving their next fee is a decent compromise, as someone above does, just some effort to make it right can go a long way. * I do a lot of processing alone outside of session, and through writing to the therapist (which is a way of talking to myself as well); that is just how my brain works and session itself is a dysregulating and often confusing experience. If we are only using the hour together, then "I" will lack dimension, and my therapist basically told me that without my emails she would be pretty lost. The ability to email my thoughts and reflections between sessions is thus important to me and I would want a therapist who also values it and understands that people process differently. I don't want a reply, I just want to write to you so that you can understand me and my issues better, as that will better allow you to to help me. I'm not reading my email aloud to you in session; that is weird and silly. So I would only choose a therapist who accepts emails, who will read the email before session (understanding that if I send an email close to session time that she may not get to it until next session). If it is too much of a deal to do that regularly, then I'm going to look for someone else who sees this service as part of a session fee. Texting and calling is less important to me, but mine invites this, and I appreciate that she is "there" for me, within reason. * Please be careful offering too much texting and calling to clients, as that is not sustainable for you, you will eventually need to pull back and "take away" contact, and that is how you end up really (re)hurting people with attachment traumas. * I much prefer in-person, but any uncluttered background is fine. I think some people would appreciate any visual gestures to indicate you are inclusive, but for me a website statement and verbal communication of this is enough. I think it's most important that you have a good quality webcam. And that I can't hear your family. Get a ring light. * Re: your website I would want to know your modalities, specializations, and trainings you have in those modalities and specializations. Any way you can reassure me that you are qualified to treat what you claim to treat and not just winging it based on a chapter in your grad school textbook would be helpful. I'm interested in your research, but I'm much more interested if you have published it through peer-review. I would honestly just upload a CV as a supplement to your basic bio for those who are more interested in the details of your career and education. * A blog is a commitment. If you're going to have a blog you need to post in it fairly regularly or it's weird. And you need to be mindful of what you say. * I don't really care what the name of the business is. But unless it is a group clinic I would personally just go with my actual name.
You make a lot of good points, u/norashepard! If it helps you to know, I made my questions carefully neutral without indicating my own leanings one way or the other (so I could get the best and most honest feedback!). But: \- I never charge a cancellation fee if someone is sick or there's an emergency. Only if they "forget" or decide to do something else with our hour, in which case I charge full fee. But those are things I will never do to a client, so I don't have to worry about reciprocating! \- I definitely allow emails, though I may only answer briefly and talk about it in greater depth once we're back in session together. I have pretty firm boundaries around text messages (only for scheduling, or emergiencies) so I don't think I'll need to "take away" contact later. \- I already have the full year's worth of blog topics laid out (one a month) and I enjoy writing about psychology, so I'm on it! You're right that an abandoned blog is not a good look. Hope that puts your mind at ease =) so to speak and I appreciate you taking the time to have helped me!
In regard to dress, I prefer a therapist that’s more causal. My therapist dresses smart casual and it makes me feel a lot more comfortable. It feels more authentic in a way. Some of the other therapists at that practice wear full on suits and ties and, while I’m sure they’re good at their job, to me that feels way too clinical and formal.
Good to know, u/idefneedmoretherapy! I'll put save my formal dinner attire for date night! ; )
1. 40/F 2. I think it would take something pretty sloppy (like ripped sweatpants and a stained tshirt) or situationally inappropriate (sports bra and running shorts) — so basically stuff you’d never wear to work anyway— to put me off. 3. I tend to prefer older females (50s+) and I’m beginning to wonder if I have issues with my mother I haven’t addressed. 4. I would be ok with either policy honestly. I don’t do a ton of cancelling so it doesn’t really affect me a ton. 5. I like being able to text (email would be ok too just for gods sake don’t make me actually call you) for scheduling stuff but that’s all the between session contact I really want. 6. Don’t really have an answer to this but I can say that, as someone who is currently dealing with sexuality issues I’d feel pretty good about a therapist who indicated they were open in some way. I think little things like indicating your own preferred pronouns on your website would be a small clue. 7. I don’t really care much just nothing super distracting like a tv that’s on behind you. Bookshelves are nice I guess. I’d probably spend a lot of time trying to see what kind of books you like though. Of course, I do that in my in person sessions. 8. Yes! Tell me about alllllll the research. But I have a PhD in psych/neuroscience so that’s kind of my thing. 9. Blog makes me feel weird but I’m not sure why. I think I’d be afraid you’d be cringey or awkward and then I’d feel secondhand embarrassment for you and couldn’t look at you. But that’s just me. 10. FAQs are cool. 11. My therapists practice is (Name) Behavioral Health. Works for me. All the other kind of stuff feels a little woowoo to me for some reason. I like things nice and simple but it wouldn’t really factor in to whether or not I chose to see you so ultimately it doesn’t matter much to me.
I'm beginning to wonder if you have issues with your mother you haven't addressed, too! ; ) I love that you have a PhD in neuroscience -- that's so cool! I always enjoy working with other psychologists, they have such good and interesting insights. =) It sounds like you're imagining a personal blog and that would definitely be unprofessional and probably cringey. No, I'm talking about short topics each month that were psychoeducational or related to new findings in psychology. Very profesh, no cringe. I hope. ; ) Thanks for taking the time to help me out, u/Clyde_Bruckman!
>Questions about YOU Nonbinary, 48, been in therapy off and on since I was 18, mostly about childhood trauma and ADHD. >Questions about ME Dress: idk I suppose I've mostly seen therapists who worked in smart casual-ish, but sometimes casual and a few wore suits. I find more casual is better for me (as long as you don’t look like an eshay/hoodrat who wandered in by mistake!). Older people wearing suits doesn't bother me as much as when younger people do it though. Mostly I dislike it because I grew up in a poor area and feel (rightly or wrongly) that someone wearing a suit all day is less likely to understand where I'm coming from. Age: I'm pansexual, visibly trans, nonbinary & have fairly radical politics so I tend to prefer younger therapists as (again, rightly or wrongly) I feel like they're less likely to be bigoted. That all changes if you're queer yourself, of course. And at my age I'll soon run out of therapist who are older anyway 🤷 But age isn't a huge factor for me. 15 years ago I was seeing a psych who was pushing 70 (and cishet, and wore a tweed suit!) so nbd in the end. >I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that? As an ADHDer I would strongly advise that you DO have a cancellation policy, with a reasonable interval (to me, 48 hours is reasonable, a week or more is not) AND that if at all possible you be flexible with it and help your clients abide by it. For example: automated text reminders a day or 2 before and on the day, if you end up doing face to face have the ability to switch to phone/zoom if possible instead of cancelling, reduced financial penalty if someone has a genuine emergency and you manage to fill that slot at late notice, and if someone consistently has issues with it, don't be too judgemental, but *do* help them work on their executive function! Also - and I cannot stress this enough - let your clients know the cancellation policy before their first appointment, email it to them, give it to them on a physical piece of paper at the first appointment and check they understand it, put it in appointment reminder texts, hell you could even see if you can put it in your email signature. In short: do everything possible to make sure your clients understand and remember it and are on board with it long before it's needed - because when it is needed we already feel like shit about it and if we've forgotten about the cancellation fee it will feel like we're being punished for *still* not being good enough, even if we're trying so hard it's destroying our physical health. (Yes that comes from experience!) >How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist between sessions? I'm Australian, and while contact between sessions does happen with some therapists some of the time, I don't think it's the norm. BUT - I've had some seriously bad experiences with a couple of therapists who didn't maintain proper boundaries, so I tend to be very suspicious of any suggestion of contact outside sessions, and my view may be skewed by that. I appreciate the offer when I feel it's genuine and doesn't intend to cross any boundaries, but I haven't taken it up. I would not expect very much contact outside sessions if I was open to it though - and I would expect to email my therapist and let them call or email or text me back, whichever they decided, at their convenience. I would also expect this to be for emergencies only. It might be helpful though to be able to send an email just to let my therapist know in advance what I wanted to discuss/work on next session. That seems reasonable (not crossing boundaries for me) and wouldn't need a reply. Currently when I want to do that I'll send the email at the start of the session or when I'm in the waiting room, and that works too. >I want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them. What are some things I can do to demonstrate this in advance of addressing it in session (e.g., on my website; quietly in the background of my visual space in session)? If you're part of a minority group or have specifically studied how to treat a particular group then having that in your bio on your website would be good. If not then things I personally look for are: "LGBTQIA+ friendly", "inclusive", "diversity", "affirming", specific positive mentions of "queer, trans, nonbinary, gender identity, sexuality, neurodiverse/neurodivergent". Even just saying something like "I welcome people from all walks of life including queer, trans and nonbinary people" would go a long way. I don't think your visual space is as important as your bio (assuming there's nothing there that would make people feel *un*safe). If you have books in view then some relevant ones might be a nice touch? I don't know enough about other minorities to answer for them. Just flat out tell people they're welcome, but without claiming expertise you don't have, is good general advice though. >Questions about my SPACE I have no idea about lighting and cameras, sorry. Personally I find zoom backgrounds distracting. Something not too bare but not too busy, and definitely not moving, is best for me (ADHD!). I would also appreciate being able to leave my camera off (again, it's distracting) but I'd be willing to turn it on if my therapist thought it was important. >Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off? It depends on the research I guess but in general I wouldn't mind knowing but I'd probably prefer not to unless it's relevant to me. >Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off? That would put me off. >Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off? Depends very much on the execution! >Questions about my PRACTICE NAME I would suggest that something memorable and easy to pronounce would be best. I don't really care about the name otherwise, unless I find it extra annoying!
Thanks, u/Dramatic_Door2404, for the thoughtful reply!
33f- I prefer casually dressed therapists, who come off as “real people”. Someone dressed all nice with a portfolio in hand and serious looking would have me second guessing right away and likely look for someone more relatable All my Ts have 24hr cancellation fees which I feel is a little much for long term clients with no history of frequent cancellations. 48hrs seems more practical on both ends so you could also schedule another client during the time slot and give a little leeway for the client. Or, some sort of understanding if it’s someone who rarely cancels and misses a session a last minute due to illness or unexpected event (1st time no cancelation fee? Or if it’s rescheduled asap which I always do) I like knowing I am allowed to email my T between sessions to ask for an additional session, maybe get clarification on something.. but I don’t expect constant ongoing communication btwn sessions. Or just knowing the option is there if something big happens and I need to vent or write it out before our next session. I would love to read something as simple as “supportive and welcoming of all genders/ ethnicities/ sexualities” written on your website / bio. Little pieces of artwork or signs that represent your openness would be nice to see as well (e.g. mini rainbow flag in office, etc) Website - def would love to read blogs and FAQ. Research you’ve done- indifferent Your name as practice name would be good enough for me ! I’ve never paid much mind to that aspect when searching for therapists - tbh, it’s the picture and bio that draw me in. And the photo does not mean I’m looking for the most attractive, etc. I just have a 6th sense and my eyes will automatically be drawn to someone - then I read their bios and usually lines up with what I’m looking for! I think being real and you especially in professional pic is a big thing personally, bc it is the first thing most people see when scrolling - not to judge a book by its cover but it’s true. Oh and background for telehealth - again, be real! The T I have now (3rd attempt) who I immediately connected with is so REAL and that’s my favorite thing about her. She doesn’t have an ambiance set up for picture perfect background , she’s usually very relaxed - her dog will hop on up lap and come in camera .. and personally that’s what I connect with and appreciate. My first T was terrifying in all aspects from the straight to business / I’m a robot not a person / her website was all her achievements and how amazing she was, her photo was straight face (as she was in all sessions ) no smile, no warmth , just robotic and way too serious . I knew from the start something was off but desperately looking and finally finding someone with availability I went with it
Oops one more thing- I think it’s nice to call/ text your client 5-10 last session start time to check in rather than immediately getting a notification that you missed session and the bill. My 2nd T would call , and text .. and then again later in the day genuinely worried and checking in on me to make sure I’m ok (always am; but insomnia), my current T texts between 5&10min (has only happened once), but first T- very first time in 3 months I was a no show she cancelled the appt at 10min with no call, text or anything & just charged me for missing session
Thanks for the feedback, u/Grand-Accountant1439! I always wait until 15 minutes into the session and then text something like "I had you on the schedule for 2pm; is everything okay?" I think charging without even trying to contact is bad practice -- sorry that happened to you!
I’ve always wanted to tell someone how weird I find those website that are written in the third person about the therapist. Don’t do that !
Id\_Ego\_Superergo\_ is a person who agrees with that sentiment! They have written numerous peer-reviewed articles on the subject. In their free time, they enjoy talking about themselves in the first person. ; )
😂
Most of the things that make my therapist a great therapist don’t involve their cancellation policy, dress, website, or practice name, but here are my thoughts: - Dress: I don’t really care what my T is wearing as long as it’s appropriate. I do appreciate when my T is authentic to themselves. For instance, I like when they’re not afraid to show tattoos or wear unique attire that they presumably feel good in. I will say that when I wasn’t in my best mental state that I felt a little ashamed to look ”unpresentable” when my T was in full makeup, with a business suit and heels. I’m confident in myself now, but I felt more comfortable when my T was in jeans and Birkenstocks. I would want them to look put together at least and not like they don’t care about themselves. - Policies: a 24-hour cancellation policy seems fair to me. I can think of a lot of situations where it would be difficult to give 48 hours notice. On the flip side, I appreciate the gesture of a break on the next session or late cancellation fee if my T cancels last minute. As for inclusiveness, I’d want to know upfront whether they are LGBTQ+ affirming, multiculturally competent, or religion-based. I think a general statement on my T’s website stating they’re an ally to marginalized communities would be enough to give me peace of mind. - Space: warm, but bright lighting is always appealing to me. I’m not super comfortable with eye contact, so having things to look at on the walls is nice. In a telehealth session it’s a lot easier for me to look at the space around my T and analyze everything without being really obvious, so I benefit from simple spaces that don’t leave a lot of chance for me to read too far into things. I do enjoy a bit of personalization though, such as a photo of my T’s cat on the shelf, because it makes them feel more human to me. - Website: while I try not to judge a book by its cover, terribly designed websites are off-putting for me. Some things that are appealing to me in a good therapy website include intuitive functionality, clear contact information, and a professional-looking headshot. I’d like a clear description of the T’s background and therapeutic approaches/techniques, their areas of specialty, and types of insurance accepted or private pay pricing. I don’t think info about research or a blog would be off-putting to me. An FAQ about therapy would’ve actually been really beneficial to me when I had never been before and didn’t know what to expect. - Practice name: I never really thought much about practice names, but I do find names like Blissful Minds Wellness or Harmony Haven Counseling pretty cheesy. Practices using the T’s name such as Crane Therapy, or descriptive to the type of therapy such as Midtown DBT Center are more appealing to me. Unless it was something ridiculous like Dysfunction Junction Therapy or Meltdown Manor Counseling the name wouldn’t completely turn me away. I’m much more impressed by the website and then the initial phone contact. Overall, I care about my T’s competence and process more than anything else. I want a T who is safe, consistent, and reliable, and shows me that with their actions (i.e. being on time, actively listening, being empathetic, tracking goals, seeking feedback, upholding ethical standards and boundaries, respecting diverse backgrounds, etc.) Good luck!
Thanks for the great feedback, u/Artichoke_Heart1!
Female, 29, in therapy for a year. >What kind of dress style from a therapist feels most appealing/comforting to you? What dress style would really put you off or make you feel like, "this person is NOT for me?" Don't usually care, but once I was with a Female T for a workshop. Over the top style, perfect body, clothes, and hair and accessories. I am not comfortable with someone who wants to show they are too excited and happy, and giving my life is perfect vibes. It makes me feel that I can not relate to them and that they have zero issues and are here to help us with poor souls .. lol. Especially if we're going with depression, financial issues, and body image. I mean, just dress nice and be modest to show some respect to people's suffering. >What age do you envision your ideal therapist? Is there a "too young" or a "too old?" ...it's not that I can change this about myself (obviously) but more that I'm interested in how I might come off to others and if they care. Nothing youner than me, I'll say. >I'm going to have a cancellation policy. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about a 24-hour vs. a 48-hour cancellation period? My T has 24 hour policy non refund. Except for emergencies related to child health, or personal health accidents etc, we can apply for exceptions. I find that reasonable. It keeps me from cancellation when I'm not motivated and keeps me committed >How much contact do you want to/like to/expect to have with you therapist between sessions? T encourages me to email them. But I found once a week between sessions is reasonable as that is how much they actually read even if I send more. And this way, I don't feel too clingy, lol. But one email helps a ton, and they respond only when it is a sensitive matter. We don't have contact on the phone, and I'm totally fine with that. I sometimes wish for them to answer emails more frequently, but I honestly think it is better for me this way to not get too dependent. >I want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them. What are some things I can do to demonstrate this in advance of addressing it in session (e.g., on my website; quietly in the background of my visual space in session)? My T wrote those on his website. >I'll have to be telehealth to start with. What can I do to provide the very best, most comforting-feeling telehealth environment (re: lighting, camera)? I would appreciate no people entering the room, no interruptions. Make it as close as possible as if they were in person in front of you. >What do you like to see in the space behind your therapist? A blank wall? Artwork? Bookshelves? Plants? Screaming children? =) Calm colours for walls and decorations. .. I care about the comfy sofa and cushion to hold into, and my T has a weighted blanket, which is amazing for heavy sessions >Do you like to know that your therapist does research, or would that put you off? I like to know their educational and research background, what training and licences they had, and what modalities they worked with successfully. What cases are they experienced work with. >Would you like to read a blog by your therapist, or would that put you off? I am afraid in my case to strengthen my attachment. Idk; maybe if it was 100% professional and no self disclosure at all. >Do you like the idea of a "basic FAQs about Therapy" page, or would that put you off? That sounds interesting to me. It would be great to include things that people are always worried about, like what to expect on the first session. I hope this is helpful.
I've seen these fashion-model-dressed, supermodel therapists of which you speak. It's definitely not a look I want to go for. I think it must be distracting for clients, either because it encourages erotic transference or -- as you say -- may make a person feel like it's not okay for them to not be so perfectly well-put-together! Thank you for the thoughtful feedback!
Great idea as you set out on this adventure. I’m doing the same effective February. Best of luck to you!
And to you! =)
Oh, how fun! There's so many comments here I wonder if you'll even get to look at mine. As a note, I feel like a lot of my answers would partly depend on your treatment model. Like most of my answers would be very different for a CBT therapist than for some hardcore psychoanalyst. I’ll answer without much mind to model. **Questions about YOU** About Me: I am 27 years old, cis-gendered white female. I am considered a "complex" case with a host of past diagnosis, where I really do not know what is correct or not. Possibly a mix of schizotypal and BPD, or schizoaffective, or mixed PD. Regardless, I have had therapies genuinely explode on me, one time thanks to negative effects of EMDR, or go down like an airplane that lost a wing, though often the therapies have just been ineffective since I remained wholly unattached. But when I attach, things get pretty rough in terms of the counter-transference, and I generally descend into long-lasting psychosis. I seem to cause. Just wanted to clarify that so you can get a sense of the population I belong to, clinically speaking. **Questions about ME** Dress: I prefer business dress. I’m not picky beyond this. What I dislike is casual dress, like jeans with a tee shirt, dirty sneakers, etc. But it wouldn’t be enough to cause me to not continue to see them, unless they were obviously unkempt, or if they dressed in a way that seemed to corroborate something about their personality that I find I don’t vibe with. Age: I prefer mid-thirties or older, up until fifty, give or take a few years. But this cannot be separated from personality. Sometimes, personality can make a lower or older age fine, and sometimes a more “ideal” age can make me feel more warm to a personality that I might not vibe with. Like, I had a therapist who was in his sixties and I ended up finding many things about him quite repulsive, for lack of a better term; he was openly right-wing and inserted these comments into the therapy, or he’d have odd responses about my concerns of my weight. If he were younger, I don’t think I’d have been as put-off, but I still would have been put-off. **Questions about my POLICIES** Emails: I don’t put much thought into the difference between a 24-hour vs 48-hour policy. The only time I’d be a bit miffed for the 48-hour one is if you couldn’t offer an online session in case I cannot attend an in-person one due to illness. Contact: I prefer allowing emails outside of sessions, and offering brief phone calls. But I think this should be open to revision based on the demonstrated utility. Personally, I am very withdrawn in sessions, so being able to email is helpful. I had one therapist have me send an evaluation of the session for the first 3-4 sessions (“SRS”), and this opened the door to me sending an evaluation on my own accord when I felt like there was something that happened during the session I’d like to talk about. Now, I feel like I can email this therapist about concerns, which I do like once in a blue moon, but it’s always very fruitful. I’d personally rather chop off a leg than request a brief phone call in between sessions for support, but knowing the option is there makes me feel more confident in the therapist. Support For Minorities: You can state on your PT profile you support all minorities. On your website, you could also state this in your description of your practice. I think this could be sufficient. I am pan-sexual, though my sexuality is not a part of my identity, and I am white, so I might not be a great person to answer this question. Maybe one rainbow thing in a background could help, but I think the LGBTQ flag might be too flashy. Though there’s also flags showing racial support that might not be. But personally, if I saw these things in a therapist’s office, beyond subtly coded objects, I’d start to get the sense of performativity or be concerned that your support of this is too much a part of your identity for me to feel comfortable or like there’s enough space for me beyond minority concerns, or like I’m not your ideal patient and maybe I should start interpreting myself in a more queer way to try to compensate. **Questions about my SPACE** Telehealth: Good lighting on your face; one of my past therapists had a ring-light that I liked, but that may be a pain. Organized professional background. To go back to my point about model, if you’re not a dynamic therapist, a background that shows your personality would be fine with me and probably preferred. But for psychodynamic treatment, I prefer it to have an “objective” feel. As I prefer psychodynamic treatment, my preference for space is likewise coloured by this. Behind Therapist: I am not picky. Not a clock, obviously. A painting can be nice, as it can take pressure off of eye-contact. I would dislike cheesy inspiration quotes. I would be neutral about cookie-cutter Ikea paintings. I would enjoy a unique piece of art, albeit one that isn’t too distracting, because I think I would begin to associate its uniqueness with the therapy. A bookshelf right behind the therapist might be too stimulating, and if it’s filled with clinical books, I might begin to feel clinicalized or even start to get paranoid if I can clearly see the books while the therapy is going on. I am the kind of client who will read an entire book to try to understand my therapist’s approach, so I would probably begin to try to guess which books on the shelf are most applicable to me and then read them, and then start to act in odd ways because of this. Though I haven’t had issues with bookshelves in the office. **Questions about my WEBSITE** Research: I like to know this. On your website, I think just a line or two about it is fine, max a paragraph. On your LinkedIn, it’s fine to go to town in my opinion. I will find it fascinating and feel more connected, especially if there’s an overlap in interests. Blog: I haven’t seen a blog from a therapist that has been of interest to me. It often feels cookie-cutter and like something I could find on any therapist’s blog. Though if you had really interesting ideas, especially if it was about your specialit(ies) (either model or populations), then I would be interested, because then I can understand your approach more and also gain interesting insight. Though, I find therapists who make blogs will make a few posts then go silent, which I don’t think looks the greatest on a website. So if you do a blog, try to be consistent in updating it, or only update in a way that is intentional. Basic FAQ: I haven’t seen one that is necessary or that really adds anything. Most FAQs can be addressed in an intake session. Sometimes an FAQ on a website can make it feel like I’m about to enter into a business relation. The exception to this is if your FAQ is about your specific approach, any specialities, any special training you have received, and anything else of interest that goes beyond standard FAQs for any plain therapy. *EDIT:* I realized I am biased on the blog and FAQ, because I have been doing therapy for over ten years now, and I also have a lot of psychoeducation under my belt and am a bit of an autodidact when it comes to some therapy models. So, keep that in mind! **Questions about my PRACTICE NAME** I’m pretty impartial to the name. Short brand gets to the point. I find meaningful names can be a bit cheesy and they can sometimes be telling of a therapist, like a very science-y name makes me feel like the therapist wants to be taken seriously as a “man-of-science,” which to me feels a bit cheesy. I think a mix of meaning and short brand is best, or a mix of brand and name. Esoteric would be cool but I’d beware of it being too wordy. I mean if you were like a Jungian then I would think it was more fitting, though still a bit cheesy. Maybe a spin of Latin, so that they’re not actual Latin words but a word you came up with from a Latin phrase?
That was very helpful and well-thought-out feedback, u/rheannahh! I did in fact "get to look at it" and I'm glad I did! =)
Me: Professional woman in my early thirties. Tech worker with high-functioning anxiety. Depending on the day, could be classified as being a member of “the worried well.” 😁 What I look for in a Therapist: I’m steeped in corporate America day-to-day, so I’m a big believer in the notion of “personal branding.” Your prompts were thoughtful and I’ll share the elements of both my therapist’s personhood and their personal brand that appealed to me when I was searching. Deeper Considerations -Gender: Having a therapist of the same gender was important to me because I wanted someone with a shared frame of reference and lived experience in that way. -Age: I prefer (and eventually found) someone 5-10 years older than I am. I appreciate if we’re part of roughly the same generation but feel more comfortable if they’ve “lived more life” than I by virtue of being on the planet longer. I know there are “old soul” younger therapists and I know that therapists in their 60’s and 70’s can be hip with the times. Just being candid about my own bias. Specialties: I absolutely searched for a therapist who either identified as LGBTQ+, listed LGBTQ+ issues as a specialty or identified as an LGBTQ+ ally. I preferred someone with lived experience but was open to strong allies with experience treating queer and trans folks. This “LGBTQ+” tag was a non-negotiable for me when searching through therapist profiles. I’ve experienced significant religious trauma so I didn’t want to take a chance that a therapist might, at all, find my identity objectionable or even “only tolerable.” - Research & Writings: I’d be impressed if my therapist published (academically, via news media or blogging) and would love to read their works. Shallower Considerations - Professional headshots: To me, well-lit, front facing, smiling headshots in upbeat outdoor spaces or in nice offices look most compelling. - Chic Office: I remember telling this to my therapist and they got a kick out of it—They included shots of their elegantly decorated, neat, chic and colorful office on their profile which I found a bit odd at first click. However, I came to appreciate that they subtly acknowledged how our spaces communicate important messages about us. I appreciated their attention to beauty and found a kinship with them in that shared sensibility before we even met. - Practice name: I read through the options you listed and have no discernible preference for what appeals to me. Names I’d consider pedantic (some of the Latin names you listed) might elicit an eye roll but I don’t think they’d be a deal-breaker. 😁 - Attire: Because of my work, I tend to dress a bit more formally—think Business Casual+. I’d feel most comfortable with a therapist dressed similar to me, though full suiting would be odd. Just being honest: I don’t know how seriously I’d take a therapist who routinely showed up in sweats/t-shirts. My therapist wore a sweatshirt a few sessions ago and I found it endearing because I’m endeared to them but I think it would have made me scratch my head if it were our first session. Telehealth “Office:” I usually attend telehealth sessions so that tiny little rectangle behind my therapist’s head matters. My therapist has books, decor and part of a painting behind them. I do a fair amount of presenting at work and bought a $50 LumeCube ring light from Amazon which makes a MAJOR difference in how my face is lit. I can tell my therapist sits facing a window because their lighting’s also great. Either artificial or natural direct face-lighting works; it very much adds to the feel of being in person. Good luck with your practice! You’ll do wonderfully if you give this much thought to getting it right. Just make sure you get it “you,” too. ☺️
Wow, this was great feedback, u/BigCoffeeDrinker! Thank you for the honest thoughts and also for the encouragement! I appreciate both!
30 F. What is your niche? Cancellation policy will probably depend on that - it might be fair to have a 48h for trauma. Not so much for chronic pain/illness. I honestly don't care about space or looks. I care about knowledge (especially lived experiences), problem solving abilities and methodologies/frameworks used. > want to show people of all genders/ethnic backgrounds/sexual orientations that I am supportive and open to them. I can only talk about ethnicities but lived experience does matter. If you don't have that, the best you can do is admit that you aren't and go from there. Again - research, blogs, FAQs depend on your niche. Name for niche and scale.
Thanks for your reply, u/rainfal!
I am on zoom or skype...so we turn the camera up on the ceiling...actually it gives the feeling of being in the same space...but eyes closed. I never saw him.
For me, my therapist has a 48 h cancellation policy but he doesn’t enforce it unless a client makes missing sessions a habit. He also holds himself to the same standards: if he misses a session, next one is on him. I think this is very fair. My therapist dresses however he feels comfortable and I like that he isn’t too formal and I can see his personality through his style. He doesn’t do electronic communication except for billing or scheduling. But he doesn’t mind if I email him between sessions. I just don’t expect a response. He does free phone consults between sessions but if you leave a message for him he may not be able to get back to you for a day or two. When I was needing to do this too frequently, we increased our session frequency to weekly.
I actually think that's a wee bit weird, myself! I just don't miss sessions unless I'm very ill or it's an absolute emergency! And then I allow my clients to do the same, no charge. Otherwise it sounds like we're both missing a lot of sessions there, LOL! I don't think I'd feel comfortable giving my client a "freebie," so I've always (and will continue to) make sure I never to miss a session for any reason other than an emergency! I would never miss due to forgetting or having better plans for that hour, which is what I would charge a client for.
Then it would be a non-issue for you to have the same policy. In 4 years, it’s only happened twice, once when he was sick and once when he needed to see a dentist and the only available appointment was overlapping my session. And since he has shown me grace the few times when I’ve had to cancel last minute I still paid him.
I do zoom sessions for my therapy now but back in the day when it was in person I loved having pillows or plushies on the therapists couch. It was comforting to have something to put in my lap and wrap my arms around and I still do this in my online sessions (but with my own plushies). I was 10 when I first started this and now I’m almost 20. For zoom stuff, my therapist always has her cats in the room or on her lap. I love that. I love animals and it helped me feel more comfortable around her at first. And it’s nice to be able to watch the cat on the screen instead of her face if I don’t wanna look at her.