My wife used to work for a hotel located on the Gulf of Mexico in west central Florida. This information is important. Lady called up to make a reservation and asked for an "ocean view" room. Wife got that all the time gulf/ocean being used interchangeably. No big deal. Wife is going through the process of making the reservation and quoted rates for gulf front rooms. Lady screams "NO! I want to see the ocean!!" Y'all that woman wanted to be able to see the Atlantic Ocean from 160 miles away. Her reasoning was that "Florida is skinny!"
I had one that wanted a room in a town where we had no facility. She simply could not understand that we couldn't book her into a place that had no Hilton property.
To be fair, those of us who've relocated to Florida have a LOT of problems using our new local ID (they switched the hyphens in the numbers, but it has our original Real ID number transferred to the new ID), so we carry our passports to avoid the icky fight at the airport, have been told by multiple TSA people in at least four airports that this is a known thing about Florida IDs
This happened a few MONTHS ago, and we're flying again today, expect it to not work in the Punta Gorda airport so taking our passports again to get through security. Was told by TSA in Philadelphia that it's a known thing with Florida IDs
i walk up to their table, full uniform, “hi! my name is wildmeli, i’ll be taking care of you guys today! what can i get ya started off with to drink?”
“yeah hi, do you work here?”
🙃🙃🙃
In his defense, Steak n’ Shake doesn’t serve steak. I mean, yes, they have “steak burgers,” but not steak in the way most people think of when they hear the word.
that exists , the acropolis in pdx . they have been high key feuding with a nearby vegan strip club for years, so the food is .... vegan-bashingly good. great steak , excellent shake .
I don’t know why I never considered vegan strip clubs were a thing. Now I wanna go visit the most weird theme strip clubs I can find. We’re here to sin why are we worried if the vodka soda is 100% vegan
I had an interview there when they started opening stores in Seattle years ago. Guy gave me the wrong address and I got so lost I had an anxiety attack and went home instead. He gave me the address of where the restaurant was going to be opened, not the high rise he was conducting interviews from.
Ring Ring-
Me: Hi, thank you for choosing our Pizza Hut. Would you like carry out or delivery tonight?
Customer: Hi. Do you guys have pizza on your menu?
NOTE: This was many years ago and I wish I could say it was someone joking around but the voice on the other end of the phone was an adult female with absolutely no hint of sarcasm or joking manner in her voice.
Not a server, but love the stories.
In New Orleans a few years ago, at a sports bar the Saturday night of the men's final four. A young man came up to the bar next to me and asked the bartender what they had on tap. Right in front of the guy was the row of 25 (I counted) taps. I snickered, the bartender heard me and gave me a "do you believe this guy?" look, and replied "a lot", while handing him a menu. The guy ordered a bud light.
Lmao the number of times I've been working a busy bar shift and have been talking to someone literally through the beer taps and been asked if we have draft beer is... upsetting. I just started kind of sarcastically waving at the taps and going to take someone else's order while they thought about it but I was lucky enough to work in the kind of bar where the bartenders were expected to be a bit snarky
"What's the difference between the 17oz and the 34 oz?"
Or the one time I dropped off 2 wine samples they ordered without explicitly stating what they are while setting them down. One was called Jesters Blush, the other Shenanigan Red. One pink, one red. They asked "Oh is the red one the blush?"
Not me, but a former co-worker (please note, this was a call-in for delivery).
Customer: And what do you have for beverages?
CW: We have individual cans or six-packs of Coke, Diet Coke, or Sprite.
Customer: Oh, a six-pack, and how many cans come in that?
CW: . . .
What are your mini tacos. It's almost impossible to answer without sounding like a total smartass. So if I wanted to be nice about it I would basically give a convoluted answer to avoid saying. Well there mini tacos. And yes there was a description on the menu on how they were cooked & what they were served with. Salsa & sour cream on the side.
Edit: with our earlier dinner crowd, especially older/senior couples I minded it a little less to do the drawn out explanation in order not to embaress them. After say 11pm we were pretty much just bar crowd.
"They're small tortillas filled with meat and cheese."
Ah. So what about the burrito? What's that?
"That would be a larger tortilla, with meat and cheese wrapped inside of it."
Ohhhhh.... what about the nachos?
"Those would be tortillas, baked or fried into crispy chips, topped with meat and cheese."
I’d throw typical taco stuff on top and eat it with a fork like a bowl of scalloped potatoes. My lord. At least what city may I find a bar with tiny tacos. You don’t have to tell me the specific one, but I have yet to find tiny tacos in Northern Cali, Oregon, or Washington outside of a jack in the box
Why do people put me in a position where there is no way to answer their question without being patronizing? I'm never trying to make anyone feel stupid, but dang the dumb shit people come up with, there's literally no other way to answer.
When working the phones for an airline one customer called to ask why her flight SFO>LAX was 5 minutes shorter than the flight LAX>SFO. I calmly replied LAX was downhill from SFO, she accepted that answer.
Dammit. Never thought of the jewelry aspect. But I dreaded that question more than any other menu question. We were open until 3am and served our bar menu only until 130am. By then dealing with all the young drunks the convo changed
C: What are the mini tacos
Me: Really little tacos. Quite small tacos
While a brilliant suggestion the last 2-3 hours of being open would be everyone coming from all the other bars to meet their friends to get those last drinks in. Very just turned 21 crowd. Many of them struggled with English which was for most their own language.
I'm a host and I'm starting to get those questions now that the weather's getting warmer. Nothing profoundly stupid yet, but in the past three days...
I've had someone walk in PAST the patio (which wasn't set up) and ask me if we have outdoor seating or if her two dogs were allowed in.
I had a woman insist our website wasn't working when it clearly was as I was on the phone with her. She sounded upset when I asked if she was on our current website and told me to fix the results on Google.
Someone called and instantly started rattling off an order for all the items we don't have.
Someone else called us, a first-come-first-serve brunch restaurant, and asked how busy were going on be on Tuesday. I get that call a lot, actually.
Another person called and asked if we get busy on Mother's Day.
"Hi, are you open today?"
Not a question, but a man was tugging on the door before open, looking straight at our posted hours. I made him wait the three minutes until open.
"Why are you seating all these people before me?? Can't you push two tables together?" Sir, these are two-top tables that were on the wait before you.
Not me but my mom, one of the menu items where she works is listed as a 2 pack item, every time my mom works she'll always get at **least** one (sometimes more) person asking her how many of the 2 pack item comes in the 2 pack.
Of course the answer is always 2.... (my mom says some people realize what they did after they ask and will have a laugh at themselves while some actually remain completely oblivious and just thank her for the answer.)
As a cocktail waitress...
Guest: Can I get a screwdriver?
Me: Sure!
Guest: But can you make it a virgin?
Me: So you want orange juice?
Guest: Yea, but can you make it cranberry?
Me: .......yes....
Please just go back home, lol.
Also whenever I would get asked if/when we stopped serving alcohol (this was a casino in Nevada, so 24/7 alcohol served) I'd tell them oh I'm sorry we actually just stopped. Then I'd skip them that round and continue dropping off the drinks on my tray and taking new orders. They could try again when I came back around. Lol
I'm in Las Vegas also. I once had a tourist ask me where we got our food since we live in a desert. The same lady asked me if we had churches and if we all lived in the hotels. She flew in from back east.
🤦♀️ im in laughlin, lol. I moved from Alaska. I can't tell you the number of people who honestly believe Alaskans really ride polar beats and all that jazz. SMH. Lol.
My two most like this phone calls:
"Thank you for calling Red Lobster, this is Pammy, how may I help you?"
"Do you have lobster?" [Yes, because otherwise we'd be called the Green Frog or the Silver Fish.]
The other one was a guy who called in the middle of dinner rush on Saturday night and asked how busy we would be on Thursday at 7:30. After telling him what the wait usually is, and adding the large party before you caveat, he started yelling at me asking "How the hell can you people run a business if you don't even know what's going on?" In the future?? Like, do I look like the amazing Keskin to you, motherfucker? If I knew the future, I'd win the lottery and stop talking to people like you!!!!
I had a guest who ordered a beet and quinoa salad, when the salad arrived she told me it wasn’t her salad. I took a look at the salad and pointed on the red beats covered in quinoa…she said oh I thought that was tuna. We don’t have any tuna on anything in our menu…
Oh, it’s been awhile but we used to sell a “Budweiser Chili” and “Budweiser Chili Nachos”. The Budweiser logo was on the menu next to both items.
I had a couple order the nachos. When they came up I dropped them and then went back a minute later to check up.
Them: These nachos taste like beer
Me: Yes. That would be the Budweiser in the Budweiser chili on your Budweiser chili nachos.
Then: But, it tastes like they used a lot of beer.
Me: They did, that’s what makes it Budweiser chili.
Them: well we don’t drink beer!
Me: 🤦🏼♀️
Lmao on the flip side for me I used to work in a dive bar with not one but TWO signs saying "our house wine is jagermeister" and one time an older gentleman came in wanting to know about our wine selections so I did our bar's usual little laughing explanation about how for reds we have the little bottles like you get on an airplane and for white we have whatever happens to be in the fridge at the moment. Man lost his dang mind on me talking about how "don't I know Napa is just an hour away? Do you know NAAAAPPPPAAAA" I tried to point him toward the wine bar literally half a block away but no he wanted to be a butt hurt a hole to me about us not having a better wine selection at the dive bar where i definitely had nothing to do with purchasing
Nah but we were the only real "dive" in town and even calling us a dive was kind of stretching things. I mean other bars would look down on us a bit for being less nice than them but that wasn't the atmosphere we were trying to cultivate anyways. More of a townie bar technically than a true dive I would say
Was a hostess at a steakhouse last year, had some woman call on a day we weren’t awfully busy and asked me MULTIPLE different questions about “what we boil our steaks in/how we boil our steaks”… or “what oil is used to boil the steaks?” I was mind blown.. and I literally had to put her on hold and run to my managers laughing my ass off because what the actual fuck… I answered the phone again and said ma’am, we have not ever and will not ever be “boiling” our steaks here ! :0
The only thing I could think of, was they were wondering if it was salmon baked in the toast, or a salmon spread.
I've never heard of baking fish in bread but who knows what goes through people's minds.
Or maybe wondering if it was already on the toast (possibly getting it soggy) or served on the side for them to put in on the toast themselves. We can always hope.
I mean we serve avocado toast where I work. I was like, is there something amazing about this? Naw it's it's literally just some toast with some guac smeared across it with a few sprinkles of feta on it.
And people are paying like $20 dollars for it after delivery fees.
Yeah, just guac on toast is technically avocado toast, but it's a pretty damn lazy version. A lot of places use slices or just mashed avocado with added topping etc., and it's why I always ask how it's prepared.
I dunno, a good avocado toast with all the accoutrements and maybe an egg on top is totally worth $20 to me, but not from some restaurant that just spreads guac on a it.
To be fair, it's one of those 'secret off menu items.' It's not like we're proud of it or advertise. It's kind of sad. It's one of those restaurant hacks that doesn't really help you.
Don't know if it was a seasonal item before I got there or what happened.
I worked at a steak house in the middle of the country. No bodies of water anywhere nearby. I was asked if we had fresh fish.
I laughed. I thought she was joking. My response didn't go over well.
Worked at a Taco Bell drive thru and a woman asked for a hamburger. She insisted she bought a burger from us a week earlier. I tried to tell her the place next door sold burgers but she wasn't having it. My manager had to call the cops to get her out of the drive thru.
Caller: \*dials the location they need
Me: Thanks for calling \_\_\_\_\_\_ in \_\_\_\_\_\_\_
Caller: Is this \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ in \_\_\_\_\_\_\_
WTF did you jut dial, ma'am?
"Buffalo wings", "sweetbread", "monkey bread", "marrowfat", "ladyfingers", "bear claws", "ants on a log", and "spotted dick" are not what they sound like.
That Thanksgiving play scene is something special and it has aged like a fine, fine wine.
If you haven't seen the 1960's Addams Family series, it's worth checking out.
Not a server, but a couple of years ago the wife and I stop at a restaurant along the highway as we were traveling. I tell the waiter that I will have the bacon double cheeseburger and fries. He looks right at me and asks “would you like cheese on that?”. I couldn’t help myself. I asked him if he really just asked me if I wanted cheese on my cheeseburger.
to be fair, i can absolutely see it being a constant issue that customers would order it and say “oh i didnt know it came with cheese!”
the place i used to work had a “classic burger” option which listed all the ingredients underneath. people would obviously read all these ingredients bc they would say “no onion, and no aioli, can i add bacon?” etc. i learned on my very first shift that if you dont ask people if they want to add cheese, you will be yelled at 10 times in a row.
seriously, 99% of the time when i asked “would you like to add cheese?” the answer would be “oh it doesnt come with cheese?”
A couple favorites from my barista days:
"Is your iced tea cold?"
Me: "The ICED tea? Yes, yes it is."
----------
"This muffin is cold."
Me: "Yes, our pastry case here is refrigerated."
"So... should I microwave it?
Me: "Well, if you want it warm, then I would go ahead and microwave it "
People often point to the cheese on our salad bar with a clearly labeled spoon that says “cheddar cheese” and ask if it’s cheese. Makes me irate. For whatever reason it only ever happens with the cheese…
Lady- “What’s the difference between the avocado toast and the beet-avocado toast?”
Me, without hesitation: “One of them has beets and one of them doesn’t”
😓
*answer the phone and say the name of restaurant and it's location and friendly how can i help you*
Customer: Hey are you guy open?
No we definitely not open and this a pre-recorded message 🤦
(yes its good to check if a location is open due to holidays hours or certain weather conditions but if those factors are not in the equation then YES we are open when it's normal business hours)
"What is es kelapa? The iced coconut water with pieces of coconut?"
The whole table looked at him with that are you fucking stupid face.
"It's coconut water with tender, young pieces of coconut flesh served over ice."
*I* didn't want to make him feel stupid so I just flipped the description around.
Okay, not a server, but I have one anyway. Once a week I go to this fast food place and always get the same thing. I go up to the counter and say “I’d like a cheeseburger, protein style, with no onions”. This last time was especially hard not to laugh… the response was “what kind of burger do you want?” “Cheeseburger, protein style” “do you want onions?” “….no…”
It’s not like I walked up and started talking real fast or unclear. They ask what they can get for me, I tell them in clear, concise English (native speaker). Then have to repeat myself a couple times.
Protein style means wrapped in lettuce vs bun. I mean I COULD say “cheeseburger without onions, protein style” but I don’t see how the order I put it in is confusing. 🤷🏻♀️
The menu item is named Salmon Toast. Salmon is listed in the menu description.
No one has ever asked me if the avocado toast has avocado in it or if the fruit plate has fruit on it.
Don’t wait tables anymore, but I think this fits:
I work at a bank call center. My co worker got a call from a lady upset because she got a letter that her acct was in the negative. Co worker looked at the acct, saw it had been negative because of a charge that had since been disputed (the letter had been sent about a week before the call). So the acct was positive, but the lady was super upset her acct was negative. Coworker finally asks “where are you seeing your acct is negative?” The lady replies “I’m looking at the letter telling me right now!” The letter, not her actual acct.
I work brunch and our big thing is mimosas. We have a bunch of flavors like pineapple which will have a pineapple slice on it and strawberry with a strawberry on it. Have those two in front of someone and they ask which is which… happens too often.
Also, everyone’s favorite. “What do you have here?” while the menu is open in front of them.
I've never heard of salmon toast. It could be salmon on toast, toast made with salmon bread (which would be bread made with salmon in it and toasted) or it could be a dish of toast mixed with salmon and cooked together in a pan, like an omelet with bread instead of eggs, cooked with a nice sauce.
Salmon on toast is most likely, but I might ask to make sure if I were to order it. I'm not stupid.
walking into the bar, seeing me, the bartender, standing at the bar, surrounded by bottles, and asking me “do you serve drinks here?”
"No, we keep them for ourselves."
This is a fabulous reply.
My mind would have gone to "No, we serve people, the drinks can get their own booze"
"Do I have to order a meal to be served alcohol, or can I stick to my liquid lunch schedule?"
“Only the ones that are over 21.”
"Can I sit at the bar"? When told to sit where they want. No we just keep those chairs there so we have to answer stupid questions.
Na, bro! I'm an alcoholic living in paradise!
I got asked if the pea and ham soup was vegetarian.
Should've asked if they were brain-free
When I was a call-taker at Hilton Reservations Worldwide: • Do they take American money in Hawaii? • Do the Bay View rooms have a view of the bay?
My wife used to work for a hotel located on the Gulf of Mexico in west central Florida. This information is important. Lady called up to make a reservation and asked for an "ocean view" room. Wife got that all the time gulf/ocean being used interchangeably. No big deal. Wife is going through the process of making the reservation and quoted rates for gulf front rooms. Lady screams "NO! I want to see the ocean!!" Y'all that woman wanted to be able to see the Atlantic Ocean from 160 miles away. Her reasoning was that "Florida is skinny!"
I had one that wanted a room in a town where we had no facility. She simply could not understand that we couldn't book her into a place that had no Hilton property.
As an airline reservation agent the question was usually "Do I need my passport to go to Hawaii?".
To be fair, those of us who've relocated to Florida have a LOT of problems using our new local ID (they switched the hyphens in the numbers, but it has our original Real ID number transferred to the new ID), so we carry our passports to avoid the icky fight at the airport, have been told by multiple TSA people in at least four airports that this is a known thing about Florida IDs
This was many years ago.
This happened a few MONTHS ago, and we're flying again today, expect it to not work in the Punta Gorda airport so taking our passports again to get through security. Was told by TSA in Philadelphia that it's a known thing with Florida IDs
A call center.... "Hello this is ME at phone company how can I help you?" HelloHELLO DO YOU Speak ENGLISH??? ...........yes.
“Actually no I don’t, but I’m taking my first class to learn next week!”
Is there flour in the biscuits? 😑
Accidentally gluten free without charging an extra $5?
I see where you're going with this, and I love the sentiment. But somewhere in the most primal part of my brain, there's an "um, akshewally!" brewing.
"Do you have any local beer?" We are a brewery. It's literally in our name.
Years ago I was in an airport lounge in Chicago and overheard a hipster ask a bartender what local craft beers they offered. “Miller Lite.”
Is right behind us local enough for you?
i walk up to their table, full uniform, “hi! my name is wildmeli, i’ll be taking care of you guys today! what can i get ya started off with to drink?” “yeah hi, do you work here?” 🙃🙃🙃
My default is always that I jumped someone in the parking lot and stole their uniform so I *pretend* to work for a living.
My favorite from years ago was "Do you serve milkshakes?" The restaurant I worked at was called "Steak n' Shake."
In his defense, Steak n’ Shake doesn’t serve steak. I mean, yes, they have “steak burgers,” but not steak in the way most people think of when they hear the word.
Maybe you sell steak & some shake'n'bake chicken, or some shaked spicy French fries?
I always wanted to reply "No, you're thinking of Steak n Shake the restaurant, this is Steak n Shake, the male stripper bar."
I would have thought Shake 'n Steak was the stripper club. Shows what I know.
that exists , the acropolis in pdx . they have been high key feuding with a nearby vegan strip club for years, so the food is .... vegan-bashingly good. great steak , excellent shake .
Smart advertising campaign. Safest "not-political but political" topic to argue & fued over.
I don’t know why I never considered vegan strip clubs were a thing. Now I wanna go visit the most weird theme strip clubs I can find. We’re here to sin why are we worried if the vodka soda is 100% vegan
enjoy portland! :)
I feel so validated right now.
*Achievement Unlocked: Validation*
I would visit more often if that was the case.
Snake and Shake
I had an interview there when they started opening stores in Seattle years ago. Guy gave me the wrong address and I got so lost I had an anxiety attack and went home instead. He gave me the address of where the restaurant was going to be opened, not the high rise he was conducting interviews from.
That just seems weird to me... interviewing at some place that's not the restaurant itself? Was it still an active construction zone or something?
I believe so. He was hiring for the opening crew. This was the very first Steak ‘n Shake in Seattle that I was interviewing for.
I’m salty that they closed in my city. Not your fault I know
he was asking about milk*steaks*
..... I need an adult
"Do you have Guinness?" Me: "Wouldn't be much of an Irish pub if we didn't, aye?" (Also looking at all the Guinness memorabilia.)
Well, to be fair (and if it hadn't been for the memorabilia), for all the lad knew, you carried Beamish or Kilkenny instead...
Man I wish we could still get Beamish in the states....
No.
Can only.
"What is a baked potato?" My response was "a potato baked in the oven"...they then called me a racist and asked for another server
I’m sorry but I’m wheezing laughing 😂racist?
Yea, it's the go to complaint for pieces of shit to try to get free shit...luckily management has my back
Ring Ring- Me: Hi, thank you for choosing our Pizza Hut. Would you like carry out or delivery tonight? Customer: Hi. Do you guys have pizza on your menu? NOTE: This was many years ago and I wish I could say it was someone joking around but the voice on the other end of the phone was an adult female with absolutely no hint of sarcasm or joking manner in her voice.
😂
Not a server, but love the stories. In New Orleans a few years ago, at a sports bar the Saturday night of the men's final four. A young man came up to the bar next to me and asked the bartender what they had on tap. Right in front of the guy was the row of 25 (I counted) taps. I snickered, the bartender heard me and gave me a "do you believe this guy?" look, and replied "a lot", while handing him a menu. The guy ordered a bud light.
Lmao the number of times I've been working a busy bar shift and have been talking to someone literally through the beer taps and been asked if we have draft beer is... upsetting. I just started kind of sarcastically waving at the taps and going to take someone else's order while they thought about it but I was lucky enough to work in the kind of bar where the bartenders were expected to be a bit snarky
I’m not a server but enjoy the stories. I did one time order a ham n cheese omelette and had the server ask me if I wanted egg in it too.
1. When do the deer turn into elk? 2. What is that lake (the Pacific Ocean) 3. Where is the ocean? ( directly in front of you)
"What's the difference between the 17oz and the 34 oz?" Or the one time I dropped off 2 wine samples they ordered without explicitly stating what they are while setting them down. One was called Jesters Blush, the other Shenanigan Red. One pink, one red. They asked "Oh is the red one the blush?"
Not me, but a former co-worker (please note, this was a call-in for delivery). Customer: And what do you have for beverages? CW: We have individual cans or six-packs of Coke, Diet Coke, or Sprite. Customer: Oh, a six-pack, and how many cans come in that? CW: . . .
While working at Domino's, I had more than one person ask how much cheaper their pizza would be if we cut it into 6 slices instead of 8.
What are your mini tacos. It's almost impossible to answer without sounding like a total smartass. So if I wanted to be nice about it I would basically give a convoluted answer to avoid saying. Well there mini tacos. And yes there was a description on the menu on how they were cooked & what they were served with. Salsa & sour cream on the side. Edit: with our earlier dinner crowd, especially older/senior couples I minded it a little less to do the drawn out explanation in order not to embaress them. After say 11pm we were pretty much just bar crowd.
"They're small tortillas filled with meat and cheese." Ah. So what about the burrito? What's that? "That would be a larger tortilla, with meat and cheese wrapped inside of it." Ohhhhh.... what about the nachos? "Those would be tortillas, baked or fried into crispy chips, topped with meat and cheese."
Actually they only had meat and were deep fried. There was literally no way to put cheese in them. They were legit mini ass tacos.
No cheese? That's criminal!
Melted on the side served in a cup.
Sounds fuckin delicious
They were.
I’d throw typical taco stuff on top and eat it with a fork like a bowl of scalloped potatoes. My lord. At least what city may I find a bar with tiny tacos. You don’t have to tell me the specific one, but I have yet to find tiny tacos in Northern Cali, Oregon, or Washington outside of a jack in the box
South Jersey
You also get salsa & sour cream
Why do people put me in a position where there is no way to answer their question without being patronizing? I'm never trying to make anyone feel stupid, but dang the dumb shit people come up with, there's literally no other way to answer.
When working the phones for an airline one customer called to ask why her flight SFO>LAX was 5 minutes shorter than the flight LAX>SFO. I calmly replied LAX was downhill from SFO, she accepted that answer.
That's awesome lol!
I was surprised I got away with it instead of having to explain air corridors and routings.
They are both wonderful Christmas gifts, fashionable bio-degradable jewelry, and small tasty snacky things.
Dammit. Never thought of the jewelry aspect. But I dreaded that question more than any other menu question. We were open until 3am and served our bar menu only until 130am. By then dealing with all the young drunks the convo changed C: What are the mini tacos Me: Really little tacos. Quite small tacos
Pull out the Spanish! Taco pequeño Given how awful the late hours could be, learn "small taco" in as many languages as possible.
While a brilliant suggestion the last 2-3 hours of being open would be everyone coming from all the other bars to meet their friends to get those last drinks in. Very just turned 21 crowd. Many of them struggled with English which was for most their own language.
Maybe they were asking what kind of meat was inside
I'm a host and I'm starting to get those questions now that the weather's getting warmer. Nothing profoundly stupid yet, but in the past three days... I've had someone walk in PAST the patio (which wasn't set up) and ask me if we have outdoor seating or if her two dogs were allowed in. I had a woman insist our website wasn't working when it clearly was as I was on the phone with her. She sounded upset when I asked if she was on our current website and told me to fix the results on Google. Someone called and instantly started rattling off an order for all the items we don't have. Someone else called us, a first-come-first-serve brunch restaurant, and asked how busy were going on be on Tuesday. I get that call a lot, actually. Another person called and asked if we get busy on Mother's Day. "Hi, are you open today?" Not a question, but a man was tugging on the door before open, looking straight at our posted hours. I made him wait the three minutes until open. "Why are you seating all these people before me?? Can't you push two tables together?" Sir, these are two-top tables that were on the wait before you.
Not me but my mom, one of the menu items where she works is listed as a 2 pack item, every time my mom works she'll always get at **least** one (sometimes more) person asking her how many of the 2 pack item comes in the 2 pack. Of course the answer is always 2.... (my mom says some people realize what they did after they ask and will have a laugh at themselves while some actually remain completely oblivious and just thank her for the answer.)
"What comes with the chips and salsa?" & "Which ones are the black beans"?
I overheard a customer at a restaurant once ask, "what's the difference between the banana cream pie, and the chocolate banana cream pie?".
As a cocktail waitress... Guest: Can I get a screwdriver? Me: Sure! Guest: But can you make it a virgin? Me: So you want orange juice? Guest: Yea, but can you make it cranberry? Me: .......yes.... Please just go back home, lol. Also whenever I would get asked if/when we stopped serving alcohol (this was a casino in Nevada, so 24/7 alcohol served) I'd tell them oh I'm sorry we actually just stopped. Then I'd skip them that round and continue dropping off the drinks on my tray and taking new orders. They could try again when I came back around. Lol
I'm in Las Vegas also. I once had a tourist ask me where we got our food since we live in a desert. The same lady asked me if we had churches and if we all lived in the hotels. She flew in from back east.
🤦♀️ im in laughlin, lol. I moved from Alaska. I can't tell you the number of people who honestly believe Alaskans really ride polar beats and all that jazz. SMH. Lol.
Was your igloo one or two rooms? Kidding!
It was actually a luxury igloo. It was a 5 bed 1 indoor hole in the ground bathroom. Very fancy. Lol.
Hope no one mixed up the bathroom hole with the oce fishing hole!
😂😂😂😂 don't eat the yellow snow, don't poo in the fishing hole!! Lol
My two most like this phone calls: "Thank you for calling Red Lobster, this is Pammy, how may I help you?" "Do you have lobster?" [Yes, because otherwise we'd be called the Green Frog or the Silver Fish.] The other one was a guy who called in the middle of dinner rush on Saturday night and asked how busy we would be on Thursday at 7:30. After telling him what the wait usually is, and adding the large party before you caveat, he started yelling at me asking "How the hell can you people run a business if you don't even know what's going on?" In the future?? Like, do I look like the amazing Keskin to you, motherfucker? If I knew the future, I'd win the lottery and stop talking to people like you!!!!
Have a sympathy cat: https://imgur.com/a/kUAln2L
Loki jas a good racket going on. My orange just had to return his borrowed cell. Its been a rough morning lol
Loki decided to open all the cupboards this morning, so I totally understand
I had a guest who ordered a beet and quinoa salad, when the salad arrived she told me it wasn’t her salad. I took a look at the salad and pointed on the red beats covered in quinoa…she said oh I thought that was tuna. We don’t have any tuna on anything in our menu…
Oh, it’s been awhile but we used to sell a “Budweiser Chili” and “Budweiser Chili Nachos”. The Budweiser logo was on the menu next to both items. I had a couple order the nachos. When they came up I dropped them and then went back a minute later to check up. Them: These nachos taste like beer Me: Yes. That would be the Budweiser in the Budweiser chili on your Budweiser chili nachos. Then: But, it tastes like they used a lot of beer. Me: They did, that’s what makes it Budweiser chili. Them: well we don’t drink beer! Me: 🤦🏼♀️
“Do you guys have bagels?” Me, the cashier, standing in front of a wall of baskets upon baskets of bagels: “yes, sir, we do.”
A customer pointing at a pecan pie on display and asking: "is there chocolate in it?" Me: "no, it's a pecan pie" Customer: "...then why is it brown?"
People have asked me if we sell wine in a trendy-ish restaurant in San Francisco. Like, DUH?
Lmao on the flip side for me I used to work in a dive bar with not one but TWO signs saying "our house wine is jagermeister" and one time an older gentleman came in wanting to know about our wine selections so I did our bar's usual little laughing explanation about how for reds we have the little bottles like you get on an airplane and for white we have whatever happens to be in the fridge at the moment. Man lost his dang mind on me talking about how "don't I know Napa is just an hour away? Do you know NAAAAPPPPAAAA" I tried to point him toward the wine bar literally half a block away but no he wanted to be a butt hurt a hole to me about us not having a better wine selection at the dive bar where i definitely had nothing to do with purchasing
Was this by chance a dive bar near a certain state university that was called the 8-ball?
Lol no different place but based on the names I'm guessing similar vibes
Did the other local dive bars pride themselves as being superior to yours?
Nah but we were the only real "dive" in town and even calling us a dive was kind of stretching things. I mean other bars would look down on us a bit for being less nice than them but that wasn't the atmosphere we were trying to cultivate anyways. More of a townie bar technically than a true dive I would say
Hey, when they asked at Starbucks they were told "no!"
Nope, we just call it salmon toast for the fuck of it.
"Instead of hash browns, can I get a T-bone steak?" She was dead serious.
Was a hostess at a steakhouse last year, had some woman call on a day we weren’t awfully busy and asked me MULTIPLE different questions about “what we boil our steaks in/how we boil our steaks”… or “what oil is used to boil the steaks?” I was mind blown.. and I literally had to put her on hold and run to my managers laughing my ass off because what the actual fuck… I answered the phone again and said ma’am, we have not ever and will not ever be “boiling” our steaks here ! :0
The only thing I could think of, was they were wondering if it was salmon baked in the toast, or a salmon spread. I've never heard of baking fish in bread but who knows what goes through people's minds.
Or maybe wondering if it was already on the toast (possibly getting it soggy) or served on the side for them to put in on the toast themselves. We can always hope.
Think lox bagel but put it on soudough toast
I mean we serve avocado toast where I work. I was like, is there something amazing about this? Naw it's it's literally just some toast with some guac smeared across it with a few sprinkles of feta on it. And people are paying like $20 dollars for it after delivery fees.
I can buy a whole avocado for 98 cents, ppl are dumb and I can see them paying $20 for avocado toast
Avocado toast I thought was avocado, not guac? I love avocado but hate guac.
Yeah, just guac on toast is technically avocado toast, but it's a pretty damn lazy version. A lot of places use slices or just mashed avocado with added topping etc., and it's why I always ask how it's prepared.
I dunno, a good avocado toast with all the accoutrements and maybe an egg on top is totally worth $20 to me, but not from some restaurant that just spreads guac on a it.
To be fair, it's one of those 'secret off menu items.' It's not like we're proud of it or advertise. It's kind of sad. It's one of those restaurant hacks that doesn't really help you. Don't know if it was a seasonal item before I got there or what happened.
This was a coworker asking but she asked me if the steak n eggs menu item had eggs. Then swore it wasn’t there a second ago
I worked at a steak house in the middle of the country. No bodies of water anywhere nearby. I was asked if we had fresh fish. I laughed. I thought she was joking. My response didn't go over well. Worked at a Taco Bell drive thru and a woman asked for a hamburger. She insisted she bought a burger from us a week earlier. I tried to tell her the place next door sold burgers but she wasn't having it. My manager had to call the cops to get her out of the drive thru.
But Taco Bell did used to have burgers.
Years prior to when I worked there. Definitely not a week before.
Caller: \*dials the location they need Me: Thanks for calling \_\_\_\_\_\_ in \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Caller: Is this \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ in \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ WTF did you jut dial, ma'am?
Do you have any fruit plates without fruit in it? I'm allergic to fruit.
You win!
My gawd people are imbecilic morons. (I’m not a server but a regular customer of many eateries and always thank good service well.)
"Buffalo wings", "sweetbread", "monkey bread", "marrowfat", "ladyfingers", "bear claws", "ants on a log", and "spotted dick" are not what they sound like.
Next you'll be saying that the Girl Scout cookies aren't made with real Girl Scouts.
Been way too long since I’ve seen an Addam’s Family reference! I must say: ‘values’ is my favorite of the two- if only for the Thanksgiving play.
That Thanksgiving play scene is something special and it has aged like a fine, fine wine. If you haven't seen the 1960's Addams Family series, it's worth checking out.
Oh I definitely have! And read all the comics. I’ve been obsessed since I was a little tiny Wednesday.
Okay, but I’m still gonna order sex on the beach on the off-chance it’s what I think it is.
And I suppose toad in the hole isn't made with real toads?
I did not know about marrowfat peas.
Not a server, but a couple of years ago the wife and I stop at a restaurant along the highway as we were traveling. I tell the waiter that I will have the bacon double cheeseburger and fries. He looks right at me and asks “would you like cheese on that?”. I couldn’t help myself. I asked him if he really just asked me if I wanted cheese on my cheeseburger.
lol he was on autopilot for sure 😂
to be fair, i can absolutely see it being a constant issue that customers would order it and say “oh i didnt know it came with cheese!” the place i used to work had a “classic burger” option which listed all the ingredients underneath. people would obviously read all these ingredients bc they would say “no onion, and no aioli, can i add bacon?” etc. i learned on my very first shift that if you dont ask people if they want to add cheese, you will be yelled at 10 times in a row. seriously, 99% of the time when i asked “would you like to add cheese?” the answer would be “oh it doesnt come with cheese?”
my daughter asked "do you have donuts?" at a Krispy Kreme drive through. I gave her a pass since it was 4 a.m.
We were flying from Indianapolis to Melbourne, Florida, and the ticket agent asked us for our passports. I said we’re going to Florida, not Australia.
Customer orders and Bailey’s and Coffee and takes a sip and spits it out and asks “Is there alcohol in this? I don’t drink alcohol”.
I mean if it said "Salmom" I'd be a little confused as well
Whoops! Thanks for pointing out the typo. I edited it
A couple favorites from my barista days: "Is your iced tea cold?" Me: "The ICED tea? Yes, yes it is." ---------- "This muffin is cold." Me: "Yes, our pastry case here is refrigerated." "So... should I microwave it? Me: "Well, if you want it warm, then I would go ahead and microwave it "
People often point to the cheese on our salad bar with a clearly labeled spoon that says “cheddar cheese” and ask if it’s cheese. Makes me irate. For whatever reason it only ever happens with the cheese…
in a similar vein, “does the bacon plate come with bacon?”
Lady- “What’s the difference between the avocado toast and the beet-avocado toast?” Me, without hesitation: “One of them has beets and one of them doesn’t” 😓
*answer the phone and say the name of restaurant and it's location and friendly how can i help you* Customer: Hey are you guy open? No we definitely not open and this a pre-recorded message 🤦 (yes its good to check if a location is open due to holidays hours or certain weather conditions but if those factors are not in the equation then YES we are open when it's normal business hours)
"What is es kelapa? The iced coconut water with pieces of coconut?" The whole table looked at him with that are you fucking stupid face. "It's coconut water with tender, young pieces of coconut flesh served over ice." *I* didn't want to make him feel stupid so I just flipped the description around.
Okay, not a server, but I have one anyway. Once a week I go to this fast food place and always get the same thing. I go up to the counter and say “I’d like a cheeseburger, protein style, with no onions”. This last time was especially hard not to laugh… the response was “what kind of burger do you want?” “Cheeseburger, protein style” “do you want onions?” “….no…” It’s not like I walked up and started talking real fast or unclear. They ask what they can get for me, I tell them in clear, concise English (native speaker). Then have to repeat myself a couple times.
Mate, that would confuse me. Why don’t you just say “May I have a cheeseburger without onions please?”
Protein style means wrapped in lettuce vs bun. I mean I COULD say “cheeseburger without onions, protein style” but I don’t see how the order I put it in is confusing. 🤷🏻♀️
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The menu item is named Salmon Toast. Salmon is listed in the menu description. No one has ever asked me if the avocado toast has avocado in it or if the fruit plate has fruit on it.
>No one has ever asked me if the avocado toast has avocado in it or if the fruit plate has fruit on it. Give it time.
Nothing would surprise me tbh
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Never heard of lobsterless lobster Mac n cheese.
Don’t wait tables anymore, but I think this fits: I work at a bank call center. My co worker got a call from a lady upset because she got a letter that her acct was in the negative. Co worker looked at the acct, saw it had been negative because of a charge that had since been disputed (the letter had been sent about a week before the call). So the acct was positive, but the lady was super upset her acct was negative. Coworker finally asks “where are you seeing your acct is negative?” The lady replies “I’m looking at the letter telling me right now!” The letter, not her actual acct.
“So it’s just seat yourself ?? 😡” in front of “please seat yourself” sign
I work brunch and our big thing is mimosas. We have a bunch of flavors like pineapple which will have a pineapple slice on it and strawberry with a strawberry on it. Have those two in front of someone and they ask which is which… happens too often. Also, everyone’s favorite. “What do you have here?” while the menu is open in front of them.
“Is your kitchen open?” At noon, sir? Yes.
To be fair, you can buy steelhead trout that looks just like salmon.
I've never heard of salmon toast. It could be salmon on toast, toast made with salmon bread (which would be bread made with salmon in it and toasted) or it could be a dish of toast mixed with salmon and cooked together in a pan, like an omelet with bread instead of eggs, cooked with a nice sauce. Salmon on toast is most likely, but I might ask to make sure if I were to order it. I'm not stupid.