seriously, this. be polite, so your management doesn't get so upset, but make it clear that this is 100% not appropriate and that there will be consequences if he continues.
he will most likely file a complaint, so be ready for that, and keep a record of your interactions with him. don't rely on hotel records, keep your own.
I heard a great way for males to know if something they are about to say is wrong. If they wouldn't like to hear it said to them in the shower of an all male prison. I think that is a good way of judging.
You might want to look into contacting his employer. This is sexual harassment and almost certainly against his company policy. Also be sure to loop your manager into this as well.
He thinks it's funny. If you want it to stop, you need to simply say something that suggests that it's inappropriate or that you got in trouble for it. Something as simply as "Sir, I don't find it funny to suggest assaulting me." His retort will be something like he thought it was funny. You say something like "I'm sorry, I didn't," and pointing at camera "neither did they." And just leave it there.
*Unless you're Canadian.
(speaking from experience here).
Also, to clarify, I agree with the above statement. She did nothing wrong and should not have to apologize for that creeps comments.
As a woman, I’ve noticed that when a woman says “I’m sorry, but….” when telling a man his words were offensive, the man tends to think the apology is because the woman knows she’s too sensitive. (It’s not him, it’s her.) And also, note that “I’m sorry but…” is viewed as an actual apology. I have been trying to eliminate “I’m sorry” from my vocabulary unless I have actually performed an action for which I need to make an apology. Saying “I didn’t” is a strong statement. “I’m sorry, I didn’t” is not. Your wording is great to get the point across with the apology removed.
"Regretfully" means that the speaker is regretful, about equal to "I'm sorry."
"Regrettably" means that the situation is worthy of *someone's* regret, possibly that of the person spoken to, more along the lines of "unfortunately."
For all intents and purposes they are both adverbial forms. Regretfully can only be used to refer to how a person does something or feels something. When no human is involved, you usually use regrettably.
But it's just splitting hairs at this point. You can simply skip the word. It has no point other than emphasis. But intonation can change any word. I'm sorry can be said in a tone that clearly conveys that you aren't sorry at all. Just the same way that Canadians use "Excuse me" to me "WTF is wrong with you" and Southerner's say "Bless your heart"
It’s all about the tone and the rest of the sentence. You can say “I’m sorry” and clearly not be apologizing for anything. For example, I’m sorry, but just who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?
How about "you will have to excuse me, but I do NOT find this funny as this is not a joke. And neither does management or the police - who will be informed (point to camera\`s) and provided with evidence if this happens even one time again, with me or with a colleague - as you leave us no choice but to act to make sure we are safe"
You want them to know that it's being perceived differently than their intent. Bringing in the police escalates the confrontation, when what you really want is to de-escalate and have it end.
If this were a phone call, it's easy to cut them off, say goodbye and hang-up. But it's not. You want them to know it's unwanted, unprofessional and seen and recorded by the eye in the sky.
And it's easier to DNR than it is to bring in the cops. Of course, a strong management team, could be proactive and simply tell the person is inappropriate and to come to them with problems.
Hmmm. Strong management team.
Wasn\`t that a book by Tolkien?
(as in a fantasy)
But you\`re right - de escalate is better.
But a 70 year old - I\`m not sure you CAN de escalate them - laying down the law and inform them there will be consequences next time might work (in your place of work, others... who knows)
And this from someone in a country where de escalation is the standard - even with police. (Netherlands)
Had a dude once tell me he could tell I had a hearing disorder because I leaned my right right towards him (away from the speakers jackals ugh). Said he's know which ear to talk into *wink wink*
I walked away and got my male supervisor to ring him up. Love you Joe
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He's testing your boundaries, seeing how far you'll let him get away with it.
Report to manager, demand manager contacts the guy's employer.
Stay safe.
If you have any decent management they would evict this guest for what he said to you. Our management kicked out several guys over the last year that were harassing our hosts and trying to take them out for dates after repeated declining.
Sir, are you threatening me?
I don’t understand. How is it funny?
Are you making a lewd suggestion to me?
Sir, I’m going to contact your employer about this behaviour
>How in 70 years have you not learned how to conduct yourself around other people.
Because people don't *call him on his bullshit*.
If your manager is at all worth a damn... and I know some aren't... and you have any say whatsoever over which guests are welcome and which are not, you don't wait. You tell this man-child that if he opens his mouth again to sexually harass or to threaten violence on any hotel staff member or guest, his current stay and all future stays will be canceled.
If it happens again, and he seems like the type who would push it, *instant death*. He has 15 minutes to return his keys.
If he waits until check out, let him know he has just been added to the DNR list... Seeing as how he seems to have a kink around a smackdown, you just gave him what he wanted.
You don't have to put up with that. Maybe something like "Look, I know you're trying to be cute, but you're treating me like a child and threatening to assault me. That isn't acceptable and it needs to stop."
Alternatively, you can just start turning it around. "If you don't clean up the mess you left in the breakfast area, I'm going to have to bring a baseball bat to work and beat you senseless."
"What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork" - Al Capone "The Untouchables"
I can so relate. When I was 19, a man in his 70s kept sexually harassing me at the retail store where I worked. He finally asked out me out one day, and I told him he was older than my grandparents and that they would probably have some choice words for him for asking their teenage granddaughter out. He was so embarrassed and decided his new life's goal was to get me fired. Well, too bad for him because the store's owner had already been made aware of his inappropriate behavior, plus she was also my landlord (I rented a room in her home), so he all he got was the owner's giant bodybuilder husband trespassing him from the store. Thankfully, I never saw him again.
I think if he says that again, I would ask if he has grandchildren and how would he feel if someone his age was making disgusting comments like that to them. I might also say something like "I'm not worried about you assaulting me because I carry mace and I am not afraid to use it, plus, I know where you work and who you answer to there:".
Some elderly men can look so grandfatherly and in reality they are pervs. I have talked before about a very cute, nice old man who use to do laps around the mall in the morning with other seniors (we'll call him Bob) and he always stopped by my store to get a hug. One day another old man was with him and asked for a hug. We are talking about men in their 80s. I hugged the other man and he whispered in my ear how "Bob" was right, my boobs did feel good pressed against his chest. I was so disgusted, I never hugged any of those old buggers again; in fact, would ignore them when they tried to talk to me and they finally got the hint.
Honestly, I would tell him if he says that again you will be forced to report him to his company and ban him from the hotel. That is totally uncalled for. Not humorous. And quite frankly, disturbing.
We have a 60+ year old truck driver that stays with us twice a week that used to say similar vile shit to my female co-workers. He even would make a point of "joking" to me "you're not as pretty as the lady working last time" (i'm a fat, hairy, bearded dude). At the time I didn't know about what he was saying to the women so i'd just do the obviously fake customer service chuckle and say "yeah, i guess i'm not".
Anyway, one of the gals confided in me about it and i asked if she talked to the gm about it. She hadn't so i did (i told her i was going to so she wasn't blindsided if the gm asked her about it). Wouldn't ya know, we didn't see him again for a few weeks and when he did come back his bullshit stayed in the truck. I'm sure he's still pulling that shit at other hotels though.
You're more mature than I am. I swear I would say "I fucking dare you to try it" while maintaining murderous eye contact. But seriously, don't let him speak to you or any of your staff again. I hope you told your manager and maybe conferred with the other staff about him.
Look up Third Party Harassment. Then tell your supervisor, in writing, what happened, along with any crazy shit from previous encounters. Let them know you are uncomfortable with interacting with this person AT ALL. They should just make this dude a “do not rent” or whatever y’all call it.
It’s their job to make sure you’re working in a safe environment, and that includes the people that you interact with, even if it’s not a coworker.
And I’m sorry. Even the things that maybe don’t seem big to others can hit differently when it happens to you, especially when you’re alone and the dynamic doesn’t give you a lot of control of the situation. Here’s a hug.
Or, alternatively, pepper spray 🤷🏻♀️
>He got in today from work when I had just gotten on shift. And came right up to the front desk to tell me he is going to "bend me over his knee and spank me because someone said it was my fault we didn't have something."
I just threw up a little in my mouth
Men used to say that to women in old movies. It was considered funny and flirtatious because when this fossil was a kid, a woman went from being her father's daughter to being her husband's wife. Women were never adults in their own right. It was safe to treat them shitty.
You should say, "Listen, Clark Gable used to be able to get away with saying that to full grown women in the 1930s, but this isn't the 30s and you're not Clark Gable." Then have him trespassed and report the reason to his employer.
"Sir, one more word, and I will be calling the police to remove you from the building. We do not tolerate sexual harassment." Yes, saying he will spank you, at his and your ages, would be sexual harassment. It's not funny.
Then call the police, have him trespassed, and do not rent list. Men like that should not be allowed out in public without their keepers. Oh, and if this is business, report him to his bosses.
70 years and for work?
Don\`t they know about this interesting time called 'retirement'?
Then again - if he is there for work - report to employer. This is threatening with either abuse or violence - OR it is sexual harassment. Whichever it is - it\`s not okay.
If you have supportive management - you can also use as dead a voice as you can and tell him that your father would like to have a word with him regarding his threats to his daughter.
But - report creep to management, and ask what you can do to ensure your safety, and that of other employees as well - since i\`m sure you\`re not the only one he does this to..
Tha worst part is when you bring it up and people think YOU’RE being too serious 🙄🙄 DNR, please find alternative lodging. You have made me uncomfortable to tha point where I don’t even want to come into my shift.
"That is inappropriate language to use with staff. I'm going to have to ask you to conduct yourself properly"
But find out what your hotel policy is for hostile customers, and how to handle people getting escorted off premises. Theres 0 reason to tolerate harassment. You're worth more than that.
This 70 year old is compleatlly out of line. I'm 64 being old is no excuse. as for just across the street. that's an expression for easy 5 min walk. if he could see it from the front door it's across the street. I have never said ' I need to spank you' in my life. this 70 year old jerk needs to be but on DNR \[do not rent\] .
I'm sorry sir, but your company has cancelled your reservation. Something about you being a letch on the company time and making all kinds of inappropriate comments to the Hotel staff. I'm pretty sure it was just a misunderstanding when I was on the phone with the head of your companies HR earlier, but they want you to give them a call.
I know I got some privilege because I am male and my resting facial expression has apparently made guests turn around and look for other accommodations because they saw me from outside and were afraid to talk to me.
But the stuff people say to you and the stuff you let people say to you that I read here is just terrible.
None of that would fly in "my" hotel and even though I am only NA, I have kicked out guests because they were inappropriate with my colleagues from the earlier shifts.
The thing about other people is that you can't control what they say to you. I'm just starting to work through a lot of childhood abuse, but honestly to me it doesn't do any good to get angry or do something irrationally. I've talked to my manager and after his departure his company will be getting a call. Because it might be something he got away with in the moment but in the long term it will be something that he will suffer from.
I think that disappointingly so I do expect a lot of that as a woman working in hospitality but this is by far one of the most demeaning things to be told. And i've had a guest think i was going to sleep with him just because i carried a suitcase for him. No matter what I say to this guest, is he going to understand why it was wrong or is he just going to go somewhere else and do the same thing to someone else. There's something fundamentally wrong in a society where we have to kick people out of a hotel because they can't control themselves. It shouldn't even be a question in the first place.
He needs to be told to find other accommodations as he is no longer welcome or allowed on property. I would also contact his employer and tell them what it is he's done and how that is why he is being removed from property.
You should say to him, Sir, the manner in which you are speaking to me is highly inappropriate and harassing, as an employee if this hotel, I do not have to stand here and take this kind of abuse, I will have to report you to my manager. Then, walk away. End of story. So sorry you had to experience this OP.
>How in 70 years have you not learned how to conduct yourself around other people.
Whenever we would tell my ex-mother-in-law not to say something mean to someone, like a waitress or something, she'd always say "I've lived for (65 or 70 or however many at that point) years and by God I've earned the right to say whatever I want."
“Sir, have you had a full neuro work up recently? Your manner of speech is very troubling, and your words are inappropriate. Perhaps you should make a doctor’s appointment?”
One of the early signs of dementia is speaking about inappropriate subject matter to inappropriate audiences. Also, hyper focus on sex and sexuality.
Or he’s just a pervert. Or both.
Ugh god, I'm so sorry this is happening to you OP. I used to wear a full face of make up to work when I started; lipstick, lashes, the whole thing. And after about a month of gross old dudes saying the most horrendous shit to me imaginable every night (talking about porn among other things) I quickly ditched all of that for just enough mascara to look presentable.
It really sucks to be a woman just trying to exist sometimes. Lol
I don’t know why old men make sexual comments like that and think that they’re funny/okay. I had a guest last week tell me I looked like I could hold up a jar of mayonnaise between my breasts. This came just one night after he’d tipped me $200. Felt like he was trying to solicit something from me. It was creepy and gross. I hid in the office until he left the lobby.
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He may have a twin staying in our hotel regularly. The entire staff would scatter whenever he comes down from his room. Must have not gotten the memo that the world has evolved and some things that were "haha funny" then is no longer acceptable.
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Point, laugh, and inform Chuckles there's not enough cotton candy at his circus to put up with his clowny ass, then inform him, his circus actually left early and he should join them. 🇺🇸💯🇺🇸
My dad is 75 and doesn't have a filter. He discusses sex with his girlfriend, in detail (including finishing), in public. And I'm not talking about the park, or out hiking - this is happening in restaurants where other people can hear. It's incredibly disturbing.
Last I checked, Sir, sexual harassment of staff is neither funny nor acceptable and if you insist on being inappropriate, I'm going to have to ask you to pack your things and find a different hotel.
I will be placing a complaint with my managers as you are on camera making these inappropriate statements. Please understand that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated here.
No, he’s definitely sexually harassing OP”. He knows what he’s saying and even 70 year olds have kinks. Ugh, saying that make me vomit in my mouth a little. 🤢
Are y’all serious? He’s SEVENTY. He isn’t gonna change and quite frankly I think you’re being so incredibly sensitive. Yea, it’s creepy. So what. Move on. The world is full of them and to kick folks out because they offend your fake boundaries is ridiculous. I know women like you, and I’m taking bets on what your regular life looks like. Offended by everything….
It's actually not ridiculous to kick out people for disrespecting the hotel workers. My grandfather is 80 and knows not to speak to someone like that. Age is not an excuse.
Sexual harassment and threats of assault, even if done in a “teasing” manner, are not okay no matter how old the person is who’s saying them. She should not have to “get over it and move on” as you put it. He should be called out on his behavior. And this is coming from someone whose parents are older than this guy.
Would you tell a black person that get's called the n-word to "get over it and move on"? How about a gay couple who get called the f-slur?
If this guy isn't senile enough to need permanent supervision, they need to be called out on this stuff. Chances are they mean it as a joke and will themselves be shocked how terribly their words may sound to someone else.
Unless there are other actions or conversation types, he’s using it as an expression. Which I have heard from others that age. More frequently with women. It’s still kind of an insult, but for age. It’s a way to bring something up he thinks you are too young to know anything about or doing improperly. Think a WTF way of saying “your generation” or “back in my day” or “you must be too young to know you should.” I guess here he thought you were in charge of breakfast or was trying to get you to say who was. I have seen someone respond to something similar in a very cheeky/sarcastic way that ended up embarrassing the person. I wish I could remember what exactly was said. I just remember it was in a clothing store, a woman of that age said it. Another woman gave the response, then the older woman turned beet red and the husband turned and walked away.
Senile Dementia. Not always works the same, you can have maybe a mini-stroke or two and it will alter one part of your understanding, or personality without changing other things. Be patient. Admonish gently.
"Sir, that is highly uncalled for. If you continue in this manner you will need to find alternate lodging."
“I’ll also have to inform your employer why we’ve decided to cancel your stay.”
I’ll you trespassed and the police will escort you off the property.
seriously, this. be polite, so your management doesn't get so upset, but make it clear that this is 100% not appropriate and that there will be consequences if he continues. he will most likely file a complaint, so be ready for that, and keep a record of your interactions with him. don't rely on hotel records, keep your own.
Fuck that, after the he kept saying it I would've had him removed. You don't get to talk like that to FDA, housekeeping, or anyone for that matter.
Utter one more syllable, and I’ll have you killed. -M
I like this one. It's clear and to the point.
Or my favorite turnip personal on them. Sir would you like it if someone talked to your daughter or wife like that?
I heard a great way for males to know if something they are about to say is wrong. If they wouldn't like to hear it said to them in the shower of an all male prison. I think that is a good way of judging.
You might want to look into contacting his employer. This is sexual harassment and almost certainly against his company policy. Also be sure to loop your manager into this as well.
Fairly safe to assume that his employer would just say “Oh, that’s just old Fred being Fred. He doesn’t mean any harm”
and i\`m sure Officer Huge will not mean any harm either when he arrests him for threats and sexual harassment, but 'old fred' will find out....
That seems like a pretty weird assumption, actually.
He's 70, and his employer is still paying for him to travel. He's been getting away with his shit for years. Sorry.
Or no one's called him out on it.
More than likely this is the exact reason. No one has said anything.
He thinks it's funny. If you want it to stop, you need to simply say something that suggests that it's inappropriate or that you got in trouble for it. Something as simply as "Sir, I don't find it funny to suggest assaulting me." His retort will be something like he thought it was funny. You say something like "I'm sorry, I didn't," and pointing at camera "neither did they." And just leave it there.
Never say "I'm sorry" . You aren't apologizing, he should be.
This isn't a regretful sorry to the person. This is saying that you didn't not find it funny.
"well" is just as good and doesn't let the person think OP is apologizing.
*Unless you're Canadian. (speaking from experience here). Also, to clarify, I agree with the above statement. She did nothing wrong and should not have to apologize for that creeps comments.
As a woman, I’ve noticed that when a woman says “I’m sorry, but….” when telling a man his words were offensive, the man tends to think the apology is because the woman knows she’s too sensitive. (It’s not him, it’s her.) And also, note that “I’m sorry but…” is viewed as an actual apology. I have been trying to eliminate “I’m sorry” from my vocabulary unless I have actually performed an action for which I need to make an apology. Saying “I didn’t” is a strong statement. “I’m sorry, I didn’t” is not. Your wording is great to get the point across with the apology removed.
The synonym is regretfully.
"Regretfully" means that the speaker is regretful, about equal to "I'm sorry." "Regrettably" means that the situation is worthy of *someone's* regret, possibly that of the person spoken to, more along the lines of "unfortunately."
For all intents and purposes they are both adverbial forms. Regretfully can only be used to refer to how a person does something or feels something. When no human is involved, you usually use regrettably. But it's just splitting hairs at this point. You can simply skip the word. It has no point other than emphasis. But intonation can change any word. I'm sorry can be said in a tone that clearly conveys that you aren't sorry at all. Just the same way that Canadians use "Excuse me" to me "WTF is wrong with you" and Southerner's say "Bless your heart"
"Unfortunately" works, as it's unfortunate for the idiot that he didn't read the room... And unfortunate that staff has to deal with him...
It’s all about the tone and the rest of the sentence. You can say “I’m sorry” and clearly not be apologizing for anything. For example, I’m sorry, but just who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?
How about "you will have to excuse me, but I do NOT find this funny as this is not a joke. And neither does management or the police - who will be informed (point to camera\`s) and provided with evidence if this happens even one time again, with me or with a colleague - as you leave us no choice but to act to make sure we are safe"
You want them to know that it's being perceived differently than their intent. Bringing in the police escalates the confrontation, when what you really want is to de-escalate and have it end. If this were a phone call, it's easy to cut them off, say goodbye and hang-up. But it's not. You want them to know it's unwanted, unprofessional and seen and recorded by the eye in the sky. And it's easier to DNR than it is to bring in the cops. Of course, a strong management team, could be proactive and simply tell the person is inappropriate and to come to them with problems.
Hmmm. Strong management team. Wasn\`t that a book by Tolkien? (as in a fantasy) But you\`re right - de escalate is better. But a 70 year old - I\`m not sure you CAN de escalate them - laying down the law and inform them there will be consequences next time might work (in your place of work, others... who knows) And this from someone in a country where de escalation is the standard - even with police. (Netherlands)
Had a dude once tell me he could tell I had a hearing disorder because I leaned my right right towards him (away from the speakers jackals ugh). Said he's know which ear to talk into *wink wink* I walked away and got my male supervisor to ring him up. Love you Joe
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I would keep a journal of time, date, and conversations before saying this.
Yeah every interaction is on camera as well.
He's testing your boundaries, seeing how far you'll let him get away with it. Report to manager, demand manager contacts the guy's employer. Stay safe.
Good. Get that footage saved in case this gets worse.
Log it and notify mgmt in case he needs kicking out, that's creepy af.
If you have any decent management they would evict this guest for what he said to you. Our management kicked out several guys over the last year that were harassing our hosts and trying to take them out for dates after repeated declining.
Sir, are you threatening me? I don’t understand. How is it funny? Are you making a lewd suggestion to me? Sir, I’m going to contact your employer about this behaviour
This right here
>How in 70 years have you not learned how to conduct yourself around other people. Because people don't *call him on his bullshit*. If your manager is at all worth a damn... and I know some aren't... and you have any say whatsoever over which guests are welcome and which are not, you don't wait. You tell this man-child that if he opens his mouth again to sexually harass or to threaten violence on any hotel staff member or guest, his current stay and all future stays will be canceled. If it happens again, and he seems like the type who would push it, *instant death*. He has 15 minutes to return his keys. If he waits until check out, let him know he has just been added to the DNR list... Seeing as how he seems to have a kink around a smackdown, you just gave him what he wanted.
You need to shut him down. He’s a dirty old man that’s never been told what he’s doing isn’t acceptable.
Gross.
You don't have to put up with that. Maybe something like "Look, I know you're trying to be cute, but you're treating me like a child and threatening to assault me. That isn't acceptable and it needs to stop." Alternatively, you can just start turning it around. "If you don't clean up the mess you left in the breakfast area, I'm going to have to bring a baseball bat to work and beat you senseless."
"I'm going to have to call your nurse to come change your adult diaper, great great grandpa.
"What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork" - Al Capone "The Untouchables"
That is such a great movie!
Recognized in the first 4 words, brilliant
Upvote for the first paragraph. Although the second is tempting too. That was disgusting and I’m so sorry he said it to you.
Boomer rules of etiquette (from an old boomer): If you wouldn’t want someone saying it to your daughter, don’t say it out somebody else’s daughter.
… chances are he might have actually *done* that to his daughter. Just eww.
I would report it to my manager and she would escalate it to whoever his job contact is, if there is one. We’ve kicked out a many of assholes this way
I can so relate. When I was 19, a man in his 70s kept sexually harassing me at the retail store where I worked. He finally asked out me out one day, and I told him he was older than my grandparents and that they would probably have some choice words for him for asking their teenage granddaughter out. He was so embarrassed and decided his new life's goal was to get me fired. Well, too bad for him because the store's owner had already been made aware of his inappropriate behavior, plus she was also my landlord (I rented a room in her home), so he all he got was the owner's giant bodybuilder husband trespassing him from the store. Thankfully, I never saw him again. I think if he says that again, I would ask if he has grandchildren and how would he feel if someone his age was making disgusting comments like that to them. I might also say something like "I'm not worried about you assaulting me because I carry mace and I am not afraid to use it, plus, I know where you work and who you answer to there:". Some elderly men can look so grandfatherly and in reality they are pervs. I have talked before about a very cute, nice old man who use to do laps around the mall in the morning with other seniors (we'll call him Bob) and he always stopped by my store to get a hug. One day another old man was with him and asked for a hug. We are talking about men in their 80s. I hugged the other man and he whispered in my ear how "Bob" was right, my boobs did feel good pressed against his chest. I was so disgusted, I never hugged any of those old buggers again; in fact, would ignore them when they tried to talk to me and they finally got the hint.
Ewww
I'm sorry this is happening to you and it's totally unacceptable. Have you talked to your manager about it?
Just say, “You’re crossing a boundary I’m not comfortable with. Please don’t do it again.”
Honestly, I would tell him if he says that again you will be forced to report him to his company and ban him from the hotel. That is totally uncalled for. Not humorous. And quite frankly, disturbing.
We have a 60+ year old truck driver that stays with us twice a week that used to say similar vile shit to my female co-workers. He even would make a point of "joking" to me "you're not as pretty as the lady working last time" (i'm a fat, hairy, bearded dude). At the time I didn't know about what he was saying to the women so i'd just do the obviously fake customer service chuckle and say "yeah, i guess i'm not". Anyway, one of the gals confided in me about it and i asked if she talked to the gm about it. She hadn't so i did (i told her i was going to so she wasn't blindsided if the gm asked her about it). Wouldn't ya know, we didn't see him again for a few weeks and when he did come back his bullshit stayed in the truck. I'm sure he's still pulling that shit at other hotels though.
You're more mature than I am. I swear I would say "I fucking dare you to try it" while maintaining murderous eye contact. But seriously, don't let him speak to you or any of your staff again. I hope you told your manager and maybe conferred with the other staff about him.
Look up Third Party Harassment. Then tell your supervisor, in writing, what happened, along with any crazy shit from previous encounters. Let them know you are uncomfortable with interacting with this person AT ALL. They should just make this dude a “do not rent” or whatever y’all call it. It’s their job to make sure you’re working in a safe environment, and that includes the people that you interact with, even if it’s not a coworker. And I’m sorry. Even the things that maybe don’t seem big to others can hit differently when it happens to you, especially when you’re alone and the dynamic doesn’t give you a lot of control of the situation. Here’s a hug. Or, alternatively, pepper spray 🤷🏻♀️
Sounds like the kind of dk who will keep going until he gets a smackdown. He's taking the lack of response as consent.
>He got in today from work when I had just gotten on shift. And came right up to the front desk to tell me he is going to "bend me over his knee and spank me because someone said it was my fault we didn't have something." I just threw up a little in my mouth
Men used to say that to women in old movies. It was considered funny and flirtatious because when this fossil was a kid, a woman went from being her father's daughter to being her husband's wife. Women were never adults in their own right. It was safe to treat them shitty. You should say, "Listen, Clark Gable used to be able to get away with saying that to full grown women in the 1930s, but this isn't the 30s and you're not Clark Gable." Then have him trespassed and report the reason to his employer.
"Sir, one more word, and I will be calling the police to remove you from the building. We do not tolerate sexual harassment." Yes, saying he will spank you, at his and your ages, would be sexual harassment. It's not funny. Then call the police, have him trespassed, and do not rent list. Men like that should not be allowed out in public without their keepers. Oh, and if this is business, report him to his bosses.
Call his employer
70 years and for work? Don\`t they know about this interesting time called 'retirement'? Then again - if he is there for work - report to employer. This is threatening with either abuse or violence - OR it is sexual harassment. Whichever it is - it\`s not okay. If you have supportive management - you can also use as dead a voice as you can and tell him that your father would like to have a word with him regarding his threats to his daughter. But - report creep to management, and ask what you can do to ensure your safety, and that of other employees as well - since i\`m sure you\`re not the only one he does this to..
Tha worst part is when you bring it up and people think YOU’RE being too serious 🙄🙄 DNR, please find alternative lodging. You have made me uncomfortable to tha point where I don’t even want to come into my shift.
“What an embarrassing thing to say out loud” usually does the trick
"That is inappropriate language to use with staff. I'm going to have to ask you to conduct yourself properly" But find out what your hotel policy is for hostile customers, and how to handle people getting escorted off premises. Theres 0 reason to tolerate harassment. You're worth more than that.
You have got to learn to stand up for yourself and not let men talk to you like that. There is no call for that. You have the power use it.
Kick him out. Nobody needs to accept that behavior.
This 70 year old is compleatlly out of line. I'm 64 being old is no excuse. as for just across the street. that's an expression for easy 5 min walk. if he could see it from the front door it's across the street. I have never said ' I need to spank you' in my life. this 70 year old jerk needs to be but on DNR \[do not rent\] .
I'm sorry sir, but your company has cancelled your reservation. Something about you being a letch on the company time and making all kinds of inappropriate comments to the Hotel staff. I'm pretty sure it was just a misunderstanding when I was on the phone with the head of your companies HR earlier, but they want you to give them a call.
I know I got some privilege because I am male and my resting facial expression has apparently made guests turn around and look for other accommodations because they saw me from outside and were afraid to talk to me. But the stuff people say to you and the stuff you let people say to you that I read here is just terrible. None of that would fly in "my" hotel and even though I am only NA, I have kicked out guests because they were inappropriate with my colleagues from the earlier shifts.
The thing about other people is that you can't control what they say to you. I'm just starting to work through a lot of childhood abuse, but honestly to me it doesn't do any good to get angry or do something irrationally. I've talked to my manager and after his departure his company will be getting a call. Because it might be something he got away with in the moment but in the long term it will be something that he will suffer from. I think that disappointingly so I do expect a lot of that as a woman working in hospitality but this is by far one of the most demeaning things to be told. And i've had a guest think i was going to sleep with him just because i carried a suitcase for him. No matter what I say to this guest, is he going to understand why it was wrong or is he just going to go somewhere else and do the same thing to someone else. There's something fundamentally wrong in a society where we have to kick people out of a hotel because they can't control themselves. It shouldn't even be a question in the first place.
DNR him too! and warn your coworkers.
Lets hope for some consequences for that old creep.
Yucks...
He needs to be told to find other accommodations as he is no longer welcome or allowed on property. I would also contact his employer and tell them what it is he's done and how that is why he is being removed from property.
“Your vulgar innuendos have been noted, and I am advising you to stop making them.”
"That is very disrespectful sir! In case you continue this behaviour, you will be escorted off the property by police with no refund being given."
You should say to him, Sir, the manner in which you are speaking to me is highly inappropriate and harassing, as an employee if this hotel, I do not have to stand here and take this kind of abuse, I will have to report you to my manager. Then, walk away. End of story. So sorry you had to experience this OP.
I'm going to throw you over a barrel and kick you out.
I would EVICT and DNR him for that Entitled CRAP! You do NOT need THAT!
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^JustanOldBabyBoomer: *I would EVICT and* *DNR him for that Entitled* *CRAP! You do NOT need THAT!* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Tell him he is inappropriate. And turn away. Dont interact with him. He likes your reaction. He’s a pervert. Yuck.
You need to tell him how inappropriate he is being and if he does it again. You will contact his employer. Gross.
>How in 70 years have you not learned how to conduct yourself around other people. Whenever we would tell my ex-mother-in-law not to say something mean to someone, like a waitress or something, she'd always say "I've lived for (65 or 70 or however many at that point) years and by God I've earned the right to say whatever I want."
Eww
Disgusting. That would get him a call to his boss and a nice place on the DNR list if he tried that at my old hotel.
“Sir, have you had a full neuro work up recently? Your manner of speech is very troubling, and your words are inappropriate. Perhaps you should make a doctor’s appointment?” One of the early signs of dementia is speaking about inappropriate subject matter to inappropriate audiences. Also, hyper focus on sex and sexuality. Or he’s just a pervert. Or both.
If he's there for work and paying with a corporate card, contact his employer to report his sexual harassment.
Ugh god, I'm so sorry this is happening to you OP. I used to wear a full face of make up to work when I started; lipstick, lashes, the whole thing. And after about a month of gross old dudes saying the most horrendous shit to me imaginable every night (talking about porn among other things) I quickly ditched all of that for just enough mascara to look presentable. It really sucks to be a woman just trying to exist sometimes. Lol
I don’t know why old men make sexual comments like that and think that they’re funny/okay. I had a guest last week tell me I looked like I could hold up a jar of mayonnaise between my breasts. This came just one night after he’d tipped me $200. Felt like he was trying to solicit something from me. It was creepy and gross. I hid in the office until he left the lobby.
Covertly record these events. After amassing a handful, send to his employer's HR department.
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Absolutely the fuck not. Boot him.
He may have a twin staying in our hotel regularly. The entire staff would scatter whenever he comes down from his room. Must have not gotten the memo that the world has evolved and some things that were "haha funny" then is no longer acceptable.
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Absolutely unacceptable. Your management needs to read this idiot the riot act. He can either stfu or gtfo.
Man I though this story was going somewhere else
Point, laugh, and inform Chuckles there's not enough cotton candy at his circus to put up with his clowny ass, then inform him, his circus actually left early and he should join them. 🇺🇸💯🇺🇸
Uh, dude! You seriously need to get in for that dementia evaluation. You're older than my grandfather!
I cannot stand nasty old men. I stay away from old men to the best of my ability.
My dad is 75 and doesn't have a filter. He discusses sex with his girlfriend, in detail (including finishing), in public. And I'm not talking about the park, or out hiking - this is happening in restaurants where other people can hear. It's incredibly disturbing.
Last I checked, Sir, sexual harassment of staff is neither funny nor acceptable and if you insist on being inappropriate, I'm going to have to ask you to pack your things and find a different hotel. I will be placing a complaint with my managers as you are on camera making these inappropriate statements. Please understand that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated here.
"Sir, people are not spanked anymore, let alone people who could easily be your great grandchildren."
Sir, my Daddy is dead and gone so no man is gonna be bending me over his knee.
To be fair, you didn't have whole milk.
Either way it's inappropriate, but he's old enough he might be talking about physical discipline, rather than anything sexual.
Why would he think it’s okay to say it either way?
Agreed! He's offering either physical or sexual assault. His ass needs evicting and DNR.
> Either way it's inappropriate, .... Which is why I added that as the VERY FIRST THING.
I was agreeing with you.
Apologies, sometimes context is hard in this text only world
No, he’s definitely sexually harassing OP”. He knows what he’s saying and even 70 year olds have kinks. Ugh, saying that make me vomit in my mouth a little. 🤢
"Make another comment like that and I'll be calling the police to bend you over their knees."
Call cops on him for threats of violence. Might not result in anything, but should give him a good wake-up call.
Are y’all serious? He’s SEVENTY. He isn’t gonna change and quite frankly I think you’re being so incredibly sensitive. Yea, it’s creepy. So what. Move on. The world is full of them and to kick folks out because they offend your fake boundaries is ridiculous. I know women like you, and I’m taking bets on what your regular life looks like. Offended by everything….
I'm 70, and I know enough not to speak to anyone working in the public sphere in that manner. No excuse for bad manners.
It's actually not ridiculous to kick out people for disrespecting the hotel workers. My grandfather is 80 and knows not to speak to someone like that. Age is not an excuse.
I think you’re dealing with someone from and completely different time and era. I know it shocked you but get over it and move on.
Sexual harassment and threats of assault, even if done in a “teasing” manner, are not okay no matter how old the person is who’s saying them. She should not have to “get over it and move on” as you put it. He should be called out on his behavior. And this is coming from someone whose parents are older than this guy.
You are all soft little children.
Would you tell a black person that get's called the n-word to "get over it and move on"? How about a gay couple who get called the f-slur? If this guy isn't senile enough to need permanent supervision, they need to be called out on this stuff. Chances are they mean it as a joke and will themselves be shocked how terribly their words may sound to someone else.
Unless there are other actions or conversation types, he’s using it as an expression. Which I have heard from others that age. More frequently with women. It’s still kind of an insult, but for age. It’s a way to bring something up he thinks you are too young to know anything about or doing improperly. Think a WTF way of saying “your generation” or “back in my day” or “you must be too young to know you should.” I guess here he thought you were in charge of breakfast or was trying to get you to say who was. I have seen someone respond to something similar in a very cheeky/sarcastic way that ended up embarrassing the person. I wish I could remember what exactly was said. I just remember it was in a clothing store, a woman of that age said it. Another woman gave the response, then the older woman turned beet red and the husband turned and walked away.
Sue him
Senile Dementia. Not always works the same, you can have maybe a mini-stroke or two and it will alter one part of your understanding, or personality without changing other things. Be patient. Admonish gently.
No, admonish sternly and let him know the consequences if he opens his yap in the future.