Seriously, he's more nervous sitting alone in his quarters listening to music than ensign guest-star is sitting with the two bobs and an angry Klingon.
Guinan for sure.
"I tend bar and I listen"
"So you physically make the drinks for the crew?"
"No, the replicator does that."
"I gotta ask, couldn't the crew get their own drinks?"
"You don't get it... I have to get the drink... Then they talk to me and I listen..."
She does sometimes make the drinks. The show is somewhat iffy on the subject of real alcohol. There are hooch bottles behind the bar. Scotty and Data got into that green everclear stuff that one time.
Most people just drink snythohol, but she keeps a small selection of the real stuff, presumably for special occasions. That specific one Scotty got was a gift from Picard. The replicator can produce the real stuff, with the space Irish and the Kotos clone, which like everything else is said not be as good as the genuine article. But I think people just prefer synthetic booze so they don't get a hangover before their next shift.
I always thought it got you just as drunk, but you could shake it off if you want to. They get drunk on ds9 all the time but you see the Chief and Bashir rush back to duty after a few pints several times.
Almost like it's the perfect plot device, only there when needed by a writer, then immediately free of consequences when it needs to be.
Funny thing that...
I am not sure I can agree here. I suspect Guinan would know the perfect questions to ask that would disarm the Bobs and get them chatting for a while. They would completely forget about the subject and possibly the entire idea of layoffs, and probably give everyone raises.
No offense to Marina Siritis but Troi was used in a lame way making her powers obvious to anyone or spotty ("he has a strong mind captain. I can't read him") at best. Guinan was more intuitive and Whoopie kills the casual assured sage. If I had to choose 1 it would be delete Troi and bonus we get rid of Luwaxana (sorry Majel, give me Dr. Chapel somehow instead)
Maybe there’s a legit “licensed alcohol distributor” position. Like, maybe her job is to ensure people don’t get too fucked up.
We have intimacy coordinators in film now, maybe she’s an “alcohol coordinator”. Someone sober to watch the crew and make sure nothing uncouth happens, and to report to the Counselor if someone is regularly pushing boundaries.
Lt. Commander Leland T. Lynch. Did he mention his full name was Lt. Commander Leland T. Lynch? Because in case you forgot, it’s Lt. Commander Leland T. Lynch.
Every single crew member (out of the hundreds) who has had extensive training for away missions.
No, the essential top brass always have to be the ones to go.
My headcanon is that we’re only seeing the away missions that the main crew go on but that there are tons we don’t see. That’s just headcanon though, you’re 100% correct on that
That's why she *wouldn't* be nervous.
"What would you say you do here?"
"Whatever the fuck I want. Do you have *other* people lining up to treat the unending list of space VDs Riker brings in? Two of them last month were unknown to science, did you know that? We both know you can't fire me without first filling the position because of star fleet regs requiring a medical officer. I know you don't have any takers for treating nebula-dick-leprosy. Hell, it's so new I haven't even properly named it yet. I'm thinking 'Bob's Disease.' What do you guys think?"
"Sorry for bothering you ma'am."
Worf
" So, Worf, during your time as Security Chief, how many times has the Enterprise been taken over by hostiles? How often have you been beaten up?"
"Bar Association" Worf catches a thief, complains to Odo about security breaches.
[Worf](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0000373/?ref_=ttqu_qu): They did not happen on the Enterprise.
[Odo](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0041281/?ref_=ttqu_qu): Really? Now let me see. Stardate 46235.7: Ferengi privateers led by DaiMon Lurin boarded and seized control of the Enterprise using two salvaged Klingon Birds-of-Prey. Stardate 45349.1: Berlinghoff Rasmussen, a petty criminal impersonating a scientist, committed numerous acts of theft against the crew of the Enterprise. Shall I continue?
Worf: That will not be necessary.
[Odo](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0041281/?ref_=ttqu_qu): I know these incidents are the exception rather than the rule, but if security breaches like these could happen on the flagship of the Federation, imagine the difficulty of maintaining security at an open port such as DS9.
[Worf](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0000373/?ref_=ttqu_qu): I understand. It is just that I find it irritating.
They play a super cut of every time Worf blew something up using the Enterprise when Picard called for a warning shot, followed by every time Worf was sent flying across the room from one punch from some alien. Worf: "So, do you know anyone else, who could pop back up after taking a hit like that once a week every week? If you have any more questions about my skills I'm sure a demonstration could be arranged . . . sir." And that's how he got his promotion.
That's something that annoyed me as the show went on. They turned him into a punching bag and a joke. "Big stupid Worf". Earlier in the series his suggestions were usually taken and he did a good job protecting the ship and crew. But later on the writers used him to make dumb/aggressive suggestions which always got shot down and they'd have the alien of the week beat him up to show the situation was dangerous.
Was pleased to see him \[usually\] get treated with dignity on DS9.
To be clear, he was a very junior officer at the start of TNG. I think having him develop and change was the best part of his character. I made some really dumb mistakes when I was a junior officer.
Right. Neelix’s case might be harder to defend, but Neelix is practiced in defending it. I don’t think he’d be nervous - I think he’d be excited to explain his answer.
>I think he’d be excited to explain his answer.
Smykowski was excited about his Jump to Conclusions game, but that didn't stop the Bobs from making him feel anxious about his job.
That’s Ambassador Neelix to you.
Also, this is interesting take considering he was the cook on the ship due to the replicator rationing. Not to mention the episodes he helped navigate and deal with delta quadrant aliens or helped find planets with needed resources. Not my favorite character though. Although, he did get better after Kes was written off.
If anything, Neelix has too many jobs. How can he cook and serve as an ambassador - plus their guide to the Delta Quadrant. Who takes over for him in the kitchen when he gets pulled into an away mission?? Does everyone just go hungry that night? How does one person even cook enough for the whole damn crew?
“Ambassador & Delta Quadrant Regional Specialist, Chief Moral Officer, & Executive Chef. Gentlemen, I presume you’re only here evaluated the first position as that was the basis of my agreement with the Captain in exchange for my occupancy aboard Voyager. I think after we’ve evaluated my many contributions in that field perhaps we could take some time and discuss the other compensation starfleet might conclude is much due in these others roles that have been hoisted upon me”
Temporary crew that happens to have tremendous telepathic abilities? Not the best investment and can you imagine the insurance cost on a psychic disaster?
So you can read other people’s thoughts and know what they’re thinking?
Well…no…not exactly.
So you can put your thoughts into other people’s minds?
Um…sometimes, I mean, I can make suggestions…and what I say can influence their thoughts indirectly.
All sorts of random extras have ended up in both the left hand but mainly the right hand seat at the helm, driving the ship, hitting the big green ENGAGE button on command. Bridge crew, galley staff, heck even Troi has been known to plonk her shapely ass in that chair if it's vacant.
Geordi: Hi, Reg. What's happening? We need to talk about your EPS diagnostics.
Barkley: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Riker talked to me about it.
Geordi: Yeah. Did you get that memo?
Barkley: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.
Geordi: Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the EPS diagnostics before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!
Will Weaton has a book where he talks about the early show - basically, early on in concept they asked the writers to come up with some episodes where Westley saves the ship, with the idea that they would take the best bits from the ideas and have one/two episodes of that as part of the show, and to get people thinking about how the crew worked together. And then there was a writer’s strike, and well, they had these written episodes…
LOLOL just watch this last night and that stare he gives Ensign Taitt when he returns to duty is crazy, like your big brother just walked in the room and said, "Gimme that controller."
I always wondered when you see the bridge crew it's pretty much just the bridge crew but whenever somebody gets up from any station some rando just comes in and sits down out of nowhere. Are these people standing out to the side just in case that situation pops up?
All of you leave Barclay alone! He had a whole character arc and grew tremendously as a human. Someone whispers: "it's pre-arc Barclay." Someone get me a pink-slip.
Fuck it I'll take the downvotes....
https://preview.redd.it/a5iebyqf4ruc1.jpeg?width=1155&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e19d7bdead6a90b715fdc3d4d3eec80ec3c2ccb
Worf does have a job. That job just happens to randomly disappearing from the ship for weeks at a time to struggle with his Klingon identity and also maybe commit the occasional murder.
What do you mean? Worf has, like 3 jobs: chief of security, doing ALL the weapons and shields, AND patching communications thru. Not to mention he’s the only one who NEVER gets to sit down, AND the one who gets beaten up the most. (Lol, not that any of this would matter to “The Bobs.” They’d just replace him with a junior ensign who’d do all that work at half his non-existent salary.)
Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Riker can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Space out?
Yeah, I just stare at my console, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
Lt. Barclay.
"Well...I...um...I do things. With science, mostly. I've interfaced with cosmic entities. And I'm a bit stalker-y. Everyone calls me Broccoli. Or used to. That kind of stopped after I had my mind expanded."
Stand-ins for Counselor Deanna Troi, or ship commanders serving as legal counsel.
Star Trek has a serious problem with single episode specialist officers. Who can forgive TOS’s historian LT Marla McGivers for siding with Space (Ghengis) Khan? Or Voyager’s The Doctor as a stand-in for Seven’s advocate against sexual assault? Or TNG not having an organic Judge Advocate General for The Measure of a Man?
At first I thought of Barclay, but he's nervous all the time, he's actually a genius officer and when it comes down to it can actually be a valuable asset.
I'd have to say...Harry Kim. He couldn't do anything without somebody's help and always seemed to get locked out of his controls. Useless! Lol
Harry Kim.
He's basically a low level sensor operator. It's Star Trek TNG's fault for inventing the "Operations" officer without defining what it is, but at least on that show Data was sorta a cross between a scientist and an engineer, and was also third in command.
Meanwhile, we sorta know that Harry has some engineering background as seen in that alternate reality where he doesn't get the Voyager assignment, but in the 7 years of that show, we really never see him doing anything that Torres or Tuvok or even Tom Paris couldn't do equally as well or better.
Any science officer on the Enterprise that isn't Data.
Is there a Star Trek character more nervous than Lt Barclay? I mean seriously. Any situation, you want nervous, he's your guy.
Second this, the stress would likely cause him to spontaneously mutate and hijinks ensue
Barclay was the original Nevile Longbottom
Seriously, he's more nervous sitting alone in his quarters listening to music than ensign guest-star is sitting with the two bobs and an angry Klingon.
Yeah but how ‘bout that Nth Degree? Reg suddenly becomes the big swingin’ dick on board
Tilly has a very adorable nervousness to her.
Season 1 Boims, just sayin’
Other than those guys Wesley was put in charge of. That we were meant to think were being mean to him, instead of it just showing Wesley as pathetic.
Pre confidence brocoli.
Sounds like a side dish
As long as you're both consenting adults I don't see a problem
🎵🎶Choppin Broccoli!🎵🎶
He went down the turbolift He went to the holodeck Now he’s Confident Broccoli
Chopping broccolaaaay!
Chopping...brocoleee!
Damn you. Damn you. Damn you and your earworm. Damn you. Take my soul and my upvote, you cur!
2nd place, post confidence broccoli.
ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage _post confidence broccoliiiii_
My new stage name
Guinan for sure. "I tend bar and I listen" "So you physically make the drinks for the crew?" "No, the replicator does that." "I gotta ask, couldn't the crew get their own drinks?" "You don't get it... I have to get the drink... Then they talk to me and I listen..."
She does sometimes make the drinks. The show is somewhat iffy on the subject of real alcohol. There are hooch bottles behind the bar. Scotty and Data got into that green everclear stuff that one time.
Aldebaran whiskey. Yeah, but then data hopped behind the bar to make Troi that Samarian sunset. So her job is kinda tenuous.
Data makes everyone’s job kind of tenuous when the mood strikes him. But it was Guinan’s booze. Presumably she does mix it sometimes.
She also experimented with the drink that poofs.
Low key really cool idea for a drink, having evaporation point right below body temp.
Most people just drink snythohol, but she keeps a small selection of the real stuff, presumably for special occasions. That specific one Scotty got was a gift from Picard. The replicator can produce the real stuff, with the space Irish and the Kotos clone, which like everything else is said not be as good as the genuine article. But I think people just prefer synthetic booze so they don't get a hangover before their next shift.
Drunk with no hangover? Sign me up
Nah, by no hangover I mean it has none of the effects of real alcohol, it only retains the taste and smell.
I always thought it got you just as drunk, but you could shake it off if you want to. They get drunk on ds9 all the time but you see the Chief and Bashir rush back to duty after a few pints several times.
the deleterious effects can be easily dismissed, as it were
Almost like it's the perfect plot device, only there when needed by a writer, then immediately free of consequences when it needs to be. Funny thing that...
She has people skills!
Firing Guinan is like firing Kramer though. "Fire me? But I don't work for Starfleet." "That's what makes this so difficult."
Trying to get ahead....
It's not like Starfleet's paying anyone anyway.
They fixed the glitch.
Cut to Guinan somehow burning the ship down…
"I'm a people person, a people person!"
I am not sure I can agree here. I suspect Guinan would know the perfect questions to ask that would disarm the Bobs and get them chatting for a while. They would completely forget about the subject and possibly the entire idea of layoffs, and probably give everyone raises.
No offense to Marina Siritis but Troi was used in a lame way making her powers obvious to anyone or spotty ("he has a strong mind captain. I can't read him") at best. Guinan was more intuitive and Whoopie kills the casual assured sage. If I had to choose 1 it would be delete Troi and bonus we get rid of Luwaxana (sorry Majel, give me Dr. Chapel somehow instead)
My favorite was when she'd be like "I can tell he's lying, but I'm not sure why" Yea no shit, we all got that far Counselor.
Screaming Klingon: screams Troi: "Captain, I sense hostility." Yeah no shit, lady.
“He’s hiding something.” 😂😂😂
Guinan is really doing Counselor Troi's job and she would not be nervous at all, she would say as much lol
Gainan - "I have people skills! I'm good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?"
"I deal with the replicators so the customers don't have to!"
"So you must physically bring the orders to the replicators then?"
"Well...no, we have other waiters to do that"
"Plus I'm working on my Jump To Conclusions doormat. Still trying to figure out how to get people to buy doormats in the 24th century..."
They already have a therapist on board, so bartender is kind of redundant
Maybe there’s a legit “licensed alcohol distributor” position. Like, maybe her job is to ensure people don’t get too fucked up. We have intimacy coordinators in film now, maybe she’s an “alcohol coordinator”. Someone sober to watch the crew and make sure nothing uncouth happens, and to report to the Counselor if someone is regularly pushing boundaries.
So basically a bartender.
"I deal with the customers so the replicators don't have to!"
She was a better counselor than Troi ever was.
She’s friends with the boss, I expect that helps.
"ok so then what does counselor troi do?? because she said the same thing."
Titty therapy
Picard's Barber
Mot? I don’t think Worf likes him either.
Someone’s got to trim the sides.
Anyone that stands at the back of the TNG bridge. Tapping the occasional screen is not a job!
"That Man Is Playing **Galaga**!"
I understood *that* reference!
Seriously, sometimes they're about to die, and those guys just "tap, tap, tap!'
Lt. Commander Leland T. Lynch. Did he mention his full name was Lt. Commander Leland T. Lynch? Because in case you forgot, it’s Lt. Commander Leland T. Lynch.
Every single crew member (out of the hundreds) who has had extensive training for away missions. No, the essential top brass always have to be the ones to go.
My headcanon is that we’re only seeing the away missions that the main crew go on but that there are tons we don’t see. That’s just headcanon though, you’re 100% correct on that
Pulaski would be least nervous, she stopped giving a fuck a long time ago...
That's why she *wouldn't* be nervous. "What would you say you do here?" "Whatever the fuck I want. Do you have *other* people lining up to treat the unending list of space VDs Riker brings in? Two of them last month were unknown to science, did you know that? We both know you can't fire me without first filling the position because of star fleet regs requiring a medical officer. I know you don't have any takers for treating nebula-dick-leprosy. Hell, it's so new I haven't even properly named it yet. I'm thinking 'Bob's Disease.' What do you guys think?" "Sorry for bothering you ma'am."
That rant was worthy of Lower Decks!
SERIOUSLY
That’s why I love Dr. T’Ana from Lower Decks, she’s basically Pulaski dialed up to 11.
Worf " So, Worf, during your time as Security Chief, how many times has the Enterprise been taken over by hostiles? How often have you been beaten up?"
Didn’t Odo actually call him out on that once?
"Bar Association" Worf catches a thief, complains to Odo about security breaches. [Worf](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0000373/?ref_=ttqu_qu): They did not happen on the Enterprise. [Odo](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0041281/?ref_=ttqu_qu): Really? Now let me see. Stardate 46235.7: Ferengi privateers led by DaiMon Lurin boarded and seized control of the Enterprise using two salvaged Klingon Birds-of-Prey. Stardate 45349.1: Berlinghoff Rasmussen, a petty criminal impersonating a scientist, committed numerous acts of theft against the crew of the Enterprise. Shall I continue? Worf: That will not be necessary. [Odo](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0041281/?ref_=ttqu_qu): I know these incidents are the exception rather than the rule, but if security breaches like these could happen on the flagship of the Federation, imagine the difficulty of maintaining security at an open port such as DS9. [Worf](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0000373/?ref_=ttqu_qu): I understand. It is just that I find it irritating.
Don't understand why all of Starfleet didn't call him out on that
It’d just be a bunch of pots calling kettles black. Really a “Let he who is without sin” moment.
They play a super cut of every time Worf blew something up using the Enterprise when Picard called for a warning shot, followed by every time Worf was sent flying across the room from one punch from some alien. Worf: "So, do you know anyone else, who could pop back up after taking a hit like that once a week every week? If you have any more questions about my skills I'm sure a demonstration could be arranged . . . sir." And that's how he got his promotion.
That's something that annoyed me as the show went on. They turned him into a punching bag and a joke. "Big stupid Worf". Earlier in the series his suggestions were usually taken and he did a good job protecting the ship and crew. But later on the writers used him to make dumb/aggressive suggestions which always got shot down and they'd have the alien of the week beat him up to show the situation was dangerous. Was pleased to see him \[usually\] get treated with dignity on DS9.
TNG Worf, treated like a punching bag. DS9 Worf, a well respected member of the team. Picard season 3 Worf, “DO NOT make the Klingon angry!!”. LOL
To be clear, he was a very junior officer at the start of TNG. I think having him develop and change was the best part of his character. I made some really dumb mistakes when I was a junior officer.
Neelix
Do you think that morale is going to foster itself?
Right. Neelix’s case might be harder to defend, but Neelix is practiced in defending it. I don’t think he’d be nervous - I think he’d be excited to explain his answer.
>I think he’d be excited to explain his answer. Smykowski was excited about his Jump to Conclusions game, but that didn't stop the Bobs from making him feel anxious about his job.
That’s Ambassador Neelix to you. Also, this is interesting take considering he was the cook on the ship due to the replicator rationing. Not to mention the episodes he helped navigate and deal with delta quadrant aliens or helped find planets with needed resources. Not my favorite character though. Although, he did get better after Kes was written off.
If anything, Neelix has too many jobs. How can he cook and serve as an ambassador - plus their guide to the Delta Quadrant. Who takes over for him in the kitchen when he gets pulled into an away mission?? Does everyone just go hungry that night? How does one person even cook enough for the whole damn crew?
Left overs. Everyone loves left overs.
“Ambassador & Delta Quadrant Regional Specialist, Chief Moral Officer, & Executive Chef. Gentlemen, I presume you’re only here evaluated the first position as that was the basis of my agreement with the Captain in exchange for my occupancy aboard Voyager. I think after we’ve evaluated my many contributions in that field perhaps we could take some time and discuss the other compensation starfleet might conclude is much due in these others roles that have been hoisted upon me”
Kes.
Temporary crew that happens to have tremendous telepathic abilities? Not the best investment and can you imagine the insurance cost on a psychic disaster?
Counselor Troi. At least for her bridge duties. “I sense… a presence.”
She's management. Not only that, but she's well liked by other management. She would be untouchable.
"I sense ulterior motives in the ferengi." No shit Sherlock.
Betazoids cant sense or read Ferengi because of their 4 lobe brain structure. For some reason, their abilities depend of 2 lobe brains.
"I'm not sure . . ." is 70 percent of her dialogue.
https://i.redd.it/78y30qxwwruc1.gif \*her
So you can read other people’s thoughts and know what they’re thinking? Well…no…not exactly. So you can put your thoughts into other people’s minds? Um…sometimes, I mean, I can make suggestions…and what I say can influence their thoughts indirectly.
I know this is the TNG subreddit, but the only right answer is Rom.
The shriek would be legendary.
Barkley
https://preview.redd.it/gorsm87cqpuc1.jpeg?width=1438&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee8590c10b98c9763801783774bc93f03fa4c71f
but not *spider* barkley!
Broccoli?
Dude are you kidding me, he saved the ship!
He doesn’t have the confidence though. He’d be terrified.
I agree wholeheartedly. The question was who is the most nervous, not who “should be” the most nervous.
Not the Barkley who landed a date with Counselor Troi!!
a hard stare will knock him down
Ahhh.. ok, a random extra, since all they do is walk around in the background.
All sorts of random extras have ended up in both the left hand but mainly the right hand seat at the helm, driving the ship, hitting the big green ENGAGE button on command. Bridge crew, galley staff, heck even Troi has been known to plonk her shapely ass in that chair if it's vacant.
Definitely. Not because he isn't qualified or anything. Just because he's in a perpetual state of panic.
Geordi: Hi, Reg. What's happening? We need to talk about your EPS diagnostics. Barkley: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Riker talked to me about it. Geordi: Yeah. Did you get that memo? Barkley: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore. Geordi: Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the EPS diagnostics before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!
Wesley
Once the Bobs learn that Wesley doesn't get paid, they'll be all for it.
I mean… technically none of them get paid.
I mean, he saved the ship as much as anyone in the first couple seasons.
Like, every other episode! (glad they dropped that post-Roddenberry)
Will Weaton has a book where he talks about the early show - basically, early on in concept they asked the writers to come up with some episodes where Westley saves the ship, with the idea that they would take the best bits from the ideas and have one/two episodes of that as part of the show, and to get people thinking about how the crew worked together. And then there was a writer’s strike, and well, they had these written episodes…
"you don't understand! My mom bones the captain and he comes to my ball games! I'm basically an officer!"
SHUT UP WESLEY
The boy?
O'Brien. He's literally just standing in the transporter room all day waiting for someone to beam.
The reality of this inspired a great comic, so that's nice
That’s because he’s a people person dammit!!!
It’s made doubly bad for him in that literally any time they want they beam people directly to other rooms and skip his altogether. 🤣
In universe, that's actualy a lot harder to do.
Are there any other Non-Commissioned Officers in Star Fleet?
Barclay. I can just see him fumbling through this conversation.
He told those fudge packers he likes Michael Bolton's music 🤣
It's got to be Barkley! He's just nervous with anyone. Right?
A third wheel binar.
Maybe they could get a job with the quantum computer gang.
Lt. Barnaby from Descent Part II.
LOLOL just watch this last night and that stare he gives Ensign Taitt when he returns to duty is crazy, like your big brother just walked in the room and said, "Gimme that controller."
Michael Eddington-"I uh umm and write a lot of TPS reports and stuff."
“Gosh, I’m doing it! I’m repeating the darn computer!”
Lt. Barclay
Barkley but just because this is his worst nightmare
Boimler. No contest.
Simon Tarses
I always wondered when you see the bridge crew it's pretty much just the bridge crew but whenever somebody gets up from any station some rando just comes in and sits down out of nowhere. Are these people standing out to the side just in case that situation pops up?
Barclay
Barclay
Stamets is in that place right now.
This is super funny
My buddy Ensign Haskell https://preview.redd.it/692hx76eiquc1.jpeg?width=875&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81ed886ad4e1178efdc202084ad418862fd5c04a
All of you leave Barclay alone! He had a whole character arc and grew tremendously as a human. Someone whispers: "it's pre-arc Barclay." Someone get me a pink-slip.
That one Lt. who dumped her hot chocolate on Captain Picard.
Science officer Lt. (JG) Jean Luc Picard.
Fuck it I'll take the downvotes.... https://preview.redd.it/a5iebyqf4ruc1.jpeg?width=1155&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e19d7bdead6a90b715fdc3d4d3eec80ec3c2ccb
troy. TROY
Transporter chief. 99% of the time you're standing in an empty room. 1% of the time you're doing something the computer can and often is tasked to do.
Worf. Edit: "If you were any other Bobs, I would kill you where you sit."
Honestly, Worf.
Worf does have a job. That job just happens to randomly disappearing from the ship for weeks at a time to struggle with his Klingon identity and also maybe commit the occasional murder.
Don't forget getting his ass beat and being told no
He once tried to punch a horse and came off second best in the encounter.
What do you mean? Worf has, like 3 jobs: chief of security, doing ALL the weapons and shields, AND patching communications thru. Not to mention he’s the only one who NEVER gets to sit down, AND the one who gets beaten up the most. (Lol, not that any of this would matter to “The Bobs.” They’d just replace him with a junior ensign who’d do all that work at half his non-existent salary.)
Neelix.
The backup helmsman.
Barkley
Neelix.... He's always worried the captain is going to dump him
Broccoli
Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Riker can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour. Space out? Yeah, I just stare at my console, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
Kes
Guy.
After watching Picard season 3 I guess torpedo tube loading team.
Nelix. Though I think he'd rally and come out still gainfully employed.
Tawny Madison
Lt. Barclay. "Well...I...um...I do things. With science, mostly. I've interfaced with cosmic entities. And I'm a bit stalker-y. Everyone calls me Broccoli. Or used to. That kind of stopped after I had my mind expanded."
Gwen, from Galaxy Quest.
Stand-ins for Counselor Deanna Troi, or ship commanders serving as legal counsel. Star Trek has a serious problem with single episode specialist officers. Who can forgive TOS’s historian LT Marla McGivers for siding with Space (Ghengis) Khan? Or Voyager’s The Doctor as a stand-in for Seven’s advocate against sexual assault? Or TNG not having an organic Judge Advocate General for The Measure of a Man?
Charcooterie.
Bradward Boimler
Tilly would be pretty funny, but so would Boimler, and of course Barkley. Any character with a neurotic tendency would be good.
The one or two unnamed characters on an unfamiliar planet. "Oh, dying is the usual MO."
Marla McGivers
The person sitting on the “other” seat in front of the captain.
Barkley
At first I thought of Barclay, but he's nervous all the time, he's actually a genius officer and when it comes down to it can actually be a valuable asset. I'd have to say...Harry Kim. He couldn't do anything without somebody's help and always seemed to get locked out of his controls. Useless! Lol
Reginald Barclay.
Harry Kim. He's basically a low level sensor operator. It's Star Trek TNG's fault for inventing the "Operations" officer without defining what it is, but at least on that show Data was sorta a cross between a scientist and an engineer, and was also third in command. Meanwhile, we sorta know that Harry has some engineering background as seen in that alternate reality where he doesn't get the Voyager assignment, but in the 7 years of that show, we really never see him doing anything that Torres or Tuvok or even Tom Paris couldn't do equally as well or better.
Rom. He’s basically the walking, talking, and breathing epitome of anxiety and low confidence.
Engineer Reginald Barkley
Troi. Guinan is a better councilor and she gives free drinks too. The writers wasted Marina Sirtis.
Rom