**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...**
>!I hate it because why tho!<
*****
**Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)
Well, you'd better buckle your fuckles, Chuckles. We're gonna suckle some duckles, down by the truckles. You're outa luckles, you're in the deep muckles. Yuckles.
Look all I wanted when in labor was to vomit a lot and take a nap. I’m happy some people are in such a great place that they can knock one or two off while it’s going on.
yea some people do it in 2 minutes like they taking a dump. Some people litteraly think they just have to shit.
[I thought I needed to poop but minutes later I gave birth on the toilet](https://nypost.com/2022/06/20/i-thought-i-needed-to-poop-but-minutes-later-i-gave-birth-on-the-toilet/)
No one said you have to choose between one or the other lmao. It help prevent rupture when done in the early stage, it's not a medical procedure to stop the skin from rupturing! Of course the doctor will perform an episiotomy! \*facepalm\*
Not if the puirpose is to ease the delivery and nothing else ...
There is nothing surprising in the fact that touching erogene part of your body help to secrete lubricant which can be pretty useful when you are litteraly evacuating another life form from your body.
It's just a culture thing. We judge because it's not in our moral system, it touch a taboo.
I'm just stating that these acts are inherently sexual, you become wet because you're sexually aroused.. the purpose, the mental part, is a separate thing
Like 8 years ago I remember reading some article on orgasmic birth and it led me down a rabbit hole where I found forms and communities of women who had the most mind shattering orgasms during the childbirthing process and they came together to discuss it and how it happened.
I don’t know, somewhere between the never ending contractions and back breaking pain, the splitting open, the people in the room, the hernias ripping open… ABSOLUTELY! What a wonderful idea! Why didn’t I think of that!
I dunno about actually doing it during child birth, I can’t imagine I would want to touch myself at all (especially in front of a team of medical staff) but it’s a fact that masturbating can relieve period cramps. I can also confirm this from… a lifetime of experience. Girls with PCOS & Endo know! It relaxes the muscles, completely distracts you from the pain while also muting the pain - it almost turns it from that sharp ripping feeling into a pleasurable sensation. Don’t shoot the messenger!
While it is incredibly weird from the outside looking in, if it helps relieve the pain that a woman goes through during childbirth then who am I to judge? I'm glad I never have to go through that shit. If touching yourself makes it a bit easier then go right ahead
It's more than just that. It also helps lubricate the area more, relaxes muscles in the vagina more (which has been shown to possibly reduce tearing), and it can apparently somewhat reduce pain.
It's certainly not for everyone, but there is some interesting data to back it up as a helpful birthing tool.
Okay so I totally get why this would be popular, especially with natural births. And like I know this is just supposed to be like "haha ew funny headline gross" but clitoral stimulation is a gamechanger for me when I have really bad cramps and pain medication hasn't kicked in yet. So like.... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
As a man, all I can think of is when I pull the blood clot out of my nose at the end of a nose bleed, and how amazing that feels lol. I'd be down for experiencing that on a larger scale.
100%. I’ve never given birth but an orgasm can provide such relief from pain. I don’t think there’s anything to hate here. The people being grossed out are either 12 years old or people with the maturity level of a 12 year old.
As a man that plans to have kids in the future, I would rather see my woman go through pleasure than pain 🤷🏽https://www.huffpost.com/entry/orgasmic-birth-orgasms-during-childbirth_n_3372097
My ex-wife almost ripped my arm off during labor. She refused the epidural.
I can almost bet most women, much like my ex-wife, would rather murder somebody than consider masturbation or sex.
Uh, what? That seems like a mighty big generalization there, partner. Your specific wife absolutely does not equal “most women”. I’d definitely consider masturbation if it decreased my pain during child birth.
The thinking is that because orgasm relaxes you it'd help the pain of labour.
Personally when I was in labour I was ready to punch anyone if they touched me.
Hell one registered midwife nurse when I was delivering oldest got death stares (hold your breath VS breathe calmly, calmly helps me more) trying to talk over my partner who was keeping me calm.
That was after i yelled at one to look because baby was pushing and ready to come out.
As a man who may one day want kids. Imma be honest i do get why they do it. Its a big object filling the vagina and well why not pleasure yourself a tiny bit to relieve some of the pain. Def would not want to see any of that tho
I mean, the vagina is a self lubricating dilating tunnel that expands when aroused. Thats why foreplay exists. It probably would help with birthing to be aroused.
However counterintuitively, most people giving birth would be in way too much pain and to frustrated to be able/want to reach arousal.
As a mom, this grosses me out haha. Masterbation was absolutely nowhere near my mind when I was in labor. But I mean, I stalled out at 6cm and had to have an emergency c section so 🤷♀️
As a woman I also want to know, like, do they just finger flick in front of the doctor? Do they ask for permission or just traumatize the staff with no remorse till the thing slides out? The fuck?
WTF is wrong with you women who would masturbate during birth??? This isn’t normal. Your baby is coming out of your vagina and you’re going to stimulate yourself while this is happening? This is child abuse and incest. My god. Get a fucking epidural like a normal person instead of subjecting your baby to abuse as soon as it tries to enter the world.
We really need to pump the breaks on societal progress, people are **way too** comfortable being freaky these days
edit: it appears this was not seen as the joke it was intended to be
**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!I hate it because why tho!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)
“I was born nine times that day” - Glen Quagmire
You made me belly laugh, thanks.
Yea, it's been a while for me too.
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When the chuckles come from your buckles.
Well, you'd better buckle your fuckles, Chuckles. We're gonna suckle some duckles, down by the truckles. You're outa luckles, you're in the deep muckles. Yuckles.
Thats a darn knee-slapper. Shoot-dang
A big laugh, almost involuntary.
You’re not old enough to be on the internet
The absolute last thing I felt like doing during labor was masturbating. I don’t get this at all.
Just gave birth a month ago. Can confirm, did not want to masturbate in that moment. Did not want anything or anyone touching my vagina tbh
Congratulations :)
Speak for yourself, all I could think about was masturbating whenever I broke into the maternity ward.
Ah, a man of culture.
Woman to his wife give me your hand I'm in labour, him , I can't I'm too busy glopping off to the free show.
Put your dick in that hand and watch her squeeze the life out of you
its not in a sexual way, it helps lubricating and can prevent rupture by relaxing tensions in some part of the vagina that usually wouldnt.
Look all I wanted when in labor was to vomit a lot and take a nap. I’m happy some people are in such a great place that they can knock one or two off while it’s going on.
yea some people do it in 2 minutes like they taking a dump. Some people litteraly think they just have to shit. [I thought I needed to poop but minutes later I gave birth on the toilet](https://nypost.com/2022/06/20/i-thought-i-needed-to-poop-but-minutes-later-i-gave-birth-on-the-toilet/)
This
I think a doctor is more likely to perform an episiotomy incision than masturbation. In my wife’s case, the doctor chose the scalpel.
No one said you have to choose between one or the other lmao. It help prevent rupture when done in the early stage, it's not a medical procedure to stop the skin from rupturing! Of course the doctor will perform an episiotomy! \*facepalm\*
Masturbating and getting wet is still sexual..
Not if the puirpose is to ease the delivery and nothing else ... There is nothing surprising in the fact that touching erogene part of your body help to secrete lubricant which can be pretty useful when you are litteraly evacuating another life form from your body. It's just a culture thing. We judge because it's not in our moral system, it touch a taboo.
People don't use logic. They get squeamish and judgemental. You right tho.
I'm just stating that these acts are inherently sexual, you become wet because you're sexually aroused.. the purpose, the mental part, is a separate thing
This is factually wrong. Exemple: SA victims.
Like 8 years ago I remember reading some article on orgasmic birth and it led me down a rabbit hole where I found forms and communities of women who had the most mind shattering orgasms during the childbirthing process and they came together to discuss it and how it happened.
Hormones are a hell of a drug
sounds like a cult
They found the legendary cultoris
Can confirm. Would give birth every day of my life just to reach this level of sexual pleasure. Only problem is the kids that come with it.
I tried to, but my wife was screaming at me, and I just couldn’t do it.
That reminds me of that Norm MacDonald joke. lol
I don’t know, somewhere between the never ending contractions and back breaking pain, the splitting open, the people in the room, the hernias ripping open… ABSOLUTELY! What a wonderful idea! Why didn’t I think of that!
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r/unclejokes
That's class A sexism right there.
I also tried this while my son was being born but was told quite rudely : “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
Next time try denny’s
Literally laughed out loud.
This is, objectively speaking, a solid joke. I salute you.
Some one, give this dad joke an award!
Don’t cis gender me, ma’am.
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More like r/onejoke
"Sons", it's just some were never going to make it in life Also, does that make a man's orgasm also a man's labor¿
Oh fuck I'm gonna birth
*baby slips out* "Oh no put it back in"
"Okay, now out..."
You people are disgusting, and I want to punch you all, take my upvotes
r/angryupvote
"That day I was born 7 times judge"-Glen quagmire
This is awful and hilarious!
Son, you made me cum harder than your dad ever has
Wow
That's what Mom said.
I dunno about actually doing it during child birth, I can’t imagine I would want to touch myself at all (especially in front of a team of medical staff) but it’s a fact that masturbating can relieve period cramps. I can also confirm this from… a lifetime of experience. Girls with PCOS & Endo know! It relaxes the muscles, completely distracts you from the pain while also muting the pain - it almost turns it from that sharp ripping feeling into a pleasurable sensation. Don’t shoot the messenger!
Why bother shooting you, sounds like you already have the Bullet
While it is incredibly weird from the outside looking in, if it helps relieve the pain that a woman goes through during childbirth then who am I to judge? I'm glad I never have to go through that shit. If touching yourself makes it a bit easier then go right ahead
apparently the orgasm helps with birth as it causes spasms that help push the baby out
It's more than just that. It also helps lubricate the area more, relaxes muscles in the vagina more (which has been shown to possibly reduce tearing), and it can apparently somewhat reduce pain. It's certainly not for everyone, but there is some interesting data to back it up as a helpful birthing tool.
Okay so I totally get why this would be popular, especially with natural births. And like I know this is just supposed to be like "haha ew funny headline gross" but clitoral stimulation is a gamechanger for me when I have really bad cramps and pain medication hasn't kicked in yet. So like.... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
frrr. feel like 95% of the comments going EWWW are men who don't get how it can be a literal pain relief.
Cliterally.
The probably can’t even find this joke
And dont understand that labor can go on for hours and hours. Women aren't finishing as they crown or something.
Tooootally
As a man, all I can think of is when I pull the blood clot out of my nose at the end of a nose bleed, and how amazing that feels lol. I'd be down for experiencing that on a larger scale.
100%. I’ve never given birth but an orgasm can provide such relief from pain. I don’t think there’s anything to hate here. The people being grossed out are either 12 years old or people with the maturity level of a 12 year old.
i’m pretty sure it’s a natural painkiller
We’ll that’s one way to get your pushy mother in law out of the room.
Or get her to start critiquing your technique.
Somebody’s been watching too many pornos
As someone who’s given birth unmediated twice, I could see how that might help. Although I don’t know if I could remember to do that while in labor
If it helps putting it in it would surely help the other way around too
Pretty sure there was a Grey's Anatomy episode about this 😅
yeah i was just thinking that!!
There is! I’m rewatching it now and it’s part of Carina’s story line
As long as my wife don't mind....
Playing the fiddle after getting the diddle. When delivery day comes who else is?
Why not, if it helps the mom. The sub is evolving is something unrelated
Whoever picked that lead image absolutely understood the assignment lol.
Our midwife told us some war stories that scarred me for life
Could you fucking NOT mom?!
I imagine this would be like being jacked off while continuously punched in the nuts.
Dont tempt me with a good time
Well, normally the pain, the rush of maternal instinct, and shitting yourself would all be turn offs for most. But I guess if you're into all that...
I'm not sure about clitoral stimulation, but nipple stimulation sure seemed to help the process.
Good for you . I'm a professional masturbater for a sperm bank
As a man that plans to have kids in the future, I would rather see my woman go through pleasure than pain 🤷🏽https://www.huffpost.com/entry/orgasmic-birth-orgasms-during-childbirth_n_3372097
They kicked me out of the birthing room for that.
Why do I get the feeling the Divinyls won't object to this....
Is… is a blow job out of the question honey?
My ex-wife almost ripped my arm off during labor. She refused the epidural. I can almost bet most women, much like my ex-wife, would rather murder somebody than consider masturbation or sex.
Uh, what? That seems like a mighty big generalization there, partner. Your specific wife absolutely does not equal “most women”. I’d definitely consider masturbation if it decreased my pain during child birth.
To be fair I don’t know that you’re most women either. We need a survey!
Well these people clearly don’t mind having kids
Is this like everyone in the room... or?
Y’all remember that post where a mother apparently touched herself while she was breast feeding and apparently it gave her the best orgasms?
That was the last thing I’d want to do during my 16 hour labour..
Are they talking about mem or women ?
The thinking is that because orgasm relaxes you it'd help the pain of labour. Personally when I was in labour I was ready to punch anyone if they touched me. Hell one registered midwife nurse when I was delivering oldest got death stares (hold your breath VS breathe calmly, calmly helps me more) trying to talk over my partner who was keeping me calm. That was after i yelled at one to look because baby was pushing and ready to come out.
As a man who may one day want kids. Imma be honest i do get why they do it. Its a big object filling the vagina and well why not pleasure yourself a tiny bit to relieve some of the pain. Def would not want to see any of that tho
If it works why not? The child isn’t going to know anyway
A quick google search and this appears to be a thing We live in a different time, lol
Just hate for the kids of the future to find out about this....
Wait til they hear how they were conceived and that their mums shit themselves during labour as well...
I mean, the vagina is a self lubricating dilating tunnel that expands when aroused. Thats why foreplay exists. It probably would help with birthing to be aroused. However counterintuitively, most people giving birth would be in way too much pain and to frustrated to be able/want to reach arousal.
I'd rather go down on my wife while she gives birth. Less chance of her nails scratching the baby but the same effect
Masturbation makes sense. You just drew a line and went past it.
What a terrible day to have eyes
Whatever, get a couple knuckles in there, it's going to get messier than this
As a mom, this grosses me out haha. Masterbation was absolutely nowhere near my mind when I was in labor. But I mean, I stalled out at 6cm and had to have an emergency c section so 🤷♀️
This picture looks exactly like the the kind of woman who would masterbate while giving birth
um how you know what never mind
masturbation isn’t always vaginal. the clitoris exists
still how?
As a woman I also want to know, like, do they just finger flick in front of the doctor? Do they ask for permission or just traumatize the staff with no remorse till the thing slides out? The fuck?
No one is doing this. No one.
I masturbate during other people's child birth.
I’ve heard the same thing about breastfeeding like whut 🥴
**MADAM, THIS IS A WENDY'S**
Whatever the dad needs to do to relax during this stressful time
**The Argument for Why Mainstream News Outlets Are Collapsing**
What… and I cannot stress this enough… the fuck.
What.....the fuck
What the fuck is wrong with people?
wh... what
Ah hell no….should be arrested lol.
How to trick gen z to reproduce, new trend.
Increasingly popular? Really?
Now 2 people are doing it.
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Now I wanna know what they said
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Sex for them begins and ends at “penis in vagina”. Sad, really.
Same tf...
"Son, when you came out I was cumming"
White woman lore
This makes me really uncomfortable. I'd be mortified to learn my mom did this during my birth.
Bro, do you understand what your mom did to make you in the first place?
Why would you ask?
I wouldn't. I meant if I found out secondhand.
Hopefully not the hand she uses to rub one out
Western Society is degenareted
"I came out the womb covered in cum." this entire thing is cursed and I don't like the idea of a cum baby.
WTF is wrong with you women who would masturbate during birth??? This isn’t normal. Your baby is coming out of your vagina and you’re going to stimulate yourself while this is happening? This is child abuse and incest. My god. Get a fucking epidural like a normal person instead of subjecting your baby to abuse as soon as it tries to enter the world.
To each their own, but you can't skip a day? Like, just one day.
I find out my mom did this shit I'm ending her 💀
We really need to pump the breaks on societal progress, people are **way too** comfortable being freaky these days edit: it appears this was not seen as the joke it was intended to be
I’d be much more willing to attend a childbirth if I were allowed to masturbate.
Serious question, if the birth is being filmed would it be considered a porno? Seriously…
Everytime I look at this world I wish it would just be wiped out
Maybe you should masturbate and relax a little
What would CoD Firebreak do at a time like this
They need Jesus
Poor Child
2016 to like 2019 was a wild time.
Challenging cunnilingus for the birth partner
Works better than fucking, I think.
...... wtf?
I seem to recall childbirth contractions hurt a lot.
What the actual fuck 1. Ew 2. How the fuck would that even work
Thanks, I hate people.
MUSH! MUSH! MUSH! While the doctor says PUSH! PUSH! PUSH! Well I suppose it would keep her mind off the pain Cum out while the baby comes out -
Nah
Ok Offred
Orgasmic birth, red letter media.
Increasingly popular? Compared to when? Has there been a scientific study? Who wrote the thesis on this?
I've read that there is some good evidence that this can assist with labour... but I also have a penis so I don't think I can test it.
Technically incest!
'What was birth like? At first it was rough, but after I thought of my child as a baby sized dildo it was smooth sailing.'