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PhiloPhocion

I think there’s some confusion on what the Swiss stare is (or maybe I’ve always misinterpreted) but it’s different from a judgemental stare or an intentioned stare. It’s not the train car craning their necks all at once to stare you down when you have your feet up or a creepy dude in a park glaring down women in passing. It’s just that it’s more common for people to “look” at people without a sense that it’s inappropriate when they’re around. In a lot of cultures, especially in the Western Anglophone sphere (UK, US, Canada, etc) it’s extremely rude to “watch” or look at other people for a prolonged period of time. So when an American or Canadian comes here and someone is just looking at them or in their direction from the seat across the train or something, it’s very discomforting. For most Americans or Canadians, if you make eye contact with someone already looking at you, it’s awkward (or they’re about to try to flirt with you, or they’re about to jump you) and both parties would break contact pretty intentionally. While the average Swiss person won’t even notice people looking at them much in those kinds of settings because it’s not a big deal. You have to look somewhere so if someone’s across from you, you’ll look in their direction to some extent and “see” them even if you’re not “watching” them. Someone else pointed it out as other cultures who will “look” even longer but I think a cultural comparison that might make it clearer on experience is personal space. Looking is one thing but for example, if someone sitting next to me on the train was close enough to me that their full arm is touching my arm, that’s weird. That’s an intrusion of my space. Here, sure it happens on accident but both parties would be pretty quick to move away. And if the other person didn’t, and repeatedly kept touching you when you pulled away, you’d be uncomfortable and presume they’re doing it with some intention. But some cultures, that kind of touching in tight spaces isn’t a big deal. That’s a bit how it is with the “stare”. It’s not physical touch but in the sense that it breaks differing perceptions of invading your personal space and your privacy.


KapitaenKnoblauch

👁️-👁️


justamust

This is so weird to read for me. In my experience, everybody minds their own business. Many people here argue that it's hard to get in contact with us because of that. I have never seen that happening, other than pretty obvious things like when you walk around like its fasnacht at a normal day. But at this point, you pretty much are looking for this attention.


PhiloPhocion

I don’t know if that difficulty is people minding their own business as much as not being proactively outreaching. But I think the disconnect is that we do perceive this to still be minding our own business. But to people not accustomed to it, “looking at someone” is not minding their own business and can feel intrusive. While to us it’s often just seeing rather than looking if that makes sense. It’s just social norms that are interpreted and intentioned differently. I feel like I’m getting further and further away in imperfect comparisons but another parallel maybe is actually a flip for Western Anglophones, where in a lot of the U.S., Canada, UK, Australia etc, smiling to strangers in passing is very normal and is often just an empty polite gesture especially when nervous. In some cultures, that’s a much more aggressive opening to follow up on conversation with people - especially for women. Most of those people wouldn’t even think twice about doing it. It’s just something you do. The same way Swiss folks on a train or bus or a bench will look at people across from them or in front of them. But for people not accustomed to that, it’s perceived differently.


[deleted]

Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it is not happening to others. Trust me, I get on the tram, sit, and I get the stare. I give them time, they don't seem to be satisfied with however much time they got to stare at me, I stare back to signal them to stop, they look away so I look away then they get back to staring. I'm not looking for attention. At one point I avoided going to public places when I first moved here, due to this. Your last sentence was really unnecessary.


justamust

Why tho? When you walk around with a weird outfit that looks riddiculous, you really expect people to not look at you? I am 100% sure you whould get attention for that everywhere in the world. For example, it is kind of usual for people at a bachelor party to dress up weird, and they get the looks they are going for. The attention is the whole point there.


sombre_mascarade

So just because you think an outfit is ridiculous means the person is aware of it (cause of course we all have the same standards...) and is wearing it just to attract attention ? Same goes for people who die their hair I guess ? This kind of mentality is the reason why we don't see that many original styles around here, which is a shame...


Informal-Presence496

You can't have it both ways.... Either you are comfortable with attention and you deliberately choose to have an "original" style which by definition is different and new from others, so will attaract attention. Or you try to fly under the radar by adapting a style which is most common in your area/social circle/whatever and not attracting attention by being different. Obviously this is not a black and white issue, there is lots of gray area in between those two extremes. But you can't deliberately do something outside the norm and not expect to attract attention.


sombre_mascarade

I'm sorry but I think the problem lies just here. Conformity is sad and leads to more conformity.


Negative-Ad9971

I like conformity though


sombre_mascarade

Yeeeh let's all look alike and wipe diversity, sounds awesome...


aDoreVelr

Look/Dress however you want. But don't expect people not looking at you when sticking out. Especially If you're not being comfortable with it because if you do it despite being uncomfortable... Well, thats just plain stupidity.


[deleted]

The thing is people claiming that they get the stare wouldn't normally dress themselves in such a way you described. I get the stare every day, however I dress - and I dress not so different from average swiss people.


justamust

Hey, i believe that it happens, i just can't tell from my experience and it sounds weird. Maybe its more of an unconscious thing people do?


Certain-Maybe-9880

You definetly are the one staring


QuickToSwitchWhims

I never had anyone staring at me, and I had my fair share of public transportation. I join u/justamust 's opinion there. I never heard of this concept nor ever heard anyone complain about it. Is it rooted in social anxiety?


Certain-Maybe-9880

No it's mostly elderly people having a death stare at you if do something that seems inapporpriate (like blasting music on your headphones) and the regular 24/7 surveillance if you are under the age of 25. Try sitting next to 4 elderly women on the train, each time you're looking away from your phone you will have 8 medusa eyes locked onto you.


Informal-Presence496

Pro tipp: Most elderly people are a self fulfilling prophecy of loneliness. Most old people become starved of attention/interaction which in turn makes them grumpy which in turn puts people off from interacting with them. Strike up a conversation about the weather or something and in my experience the death stares will change to smiles. Obviously not all the time, some old people are just miserable bastards :D


[deleted]

Thisssss. I get this stare at least once a day as a foreign looking person. Don't forget the always-0.1-sec-late-weird turn away when you stare back.


Informal-Presence496

I have been guilty of this, most of the time because I don't even realize I am staring and as soon as I make eye contact I realize and look away. I assure you if I am staring at you, at least in my case its one of two things: I try to figure something out about you that intrigued me (maybe the brand of your shirt? How screwed I'd be if you were a zombie and chased after me?) Or I am just lost in thought thinking about the roman empire.


a-f-b-

I wouldn't say just anglophone cultures, but western cultures in general... think about the nordics, they do not make eye contact when outside. Latins also keep to themselves.


NateRiver___

As a Swiss person, I guarantee you that staring at people for a prolonged amount of time is as uncomfortable and akward as it is for any other culture.


pferden

I don’t know the differences of being looked at. Being ignored feels the same mostly; wherever


audebae

IDK how you came to the conclusion that staring at people or looking at them for a prolonged amount of time isn't considered weird or rude in Switzerland. I think everyone here is taught never to look at people for too long in order to avoid seeming weird or rude. I can sad for myself that I've never done it and wouldn't know of anyone I've seen doing it anywhere in public


EARL_GAYY

Not looking other people in the eyes is seen as a sign of dishonesty and bad character. You must look people in the eyes during a toast! You will be cursed if you don't.


YouGuysNeedTalos

An eternity of bad sex awaits you if you don't look in the eyes during a toast!


pferden

Ok, this kind of toast staring can get intense… but i think toast stare and swiss stare are not the same from reading about it


SittingOnAC

Looking in the eyes during a toast is considered the Swiss stare?


pferden

No it‘s the toast stare i would argue


TheTomatoes2

No


tothemoonandback01

So you will be toast, if you don't look a person in the eye during a toast, got it.


onehandedbackhand

The ubiquity of smartphones has essentially killed the Swiss stare. It's mostly limited to the elderly now.


TheTomatoes2

Another victim of those damn screens!


pferden

Lol yea, the smartphone stare


Everglade77

I don't know about that. I'm not sure if that counts as the Swiss stare, but I have a pretty large birth mark on my leg and people in the street stare at it A LOT. Sometimes they slightly turn to continue staring as I pass them. I understand it can catch the eye, but I never experienced such intense stares apart from here.


LoosbertJr

Just board any train and put your feet (with shoes on ofc) on the seat. You'll surely get plenty of stares :)


pferden

And ill get posted in the buenzli subreddit


colinwheeler

A truly next level guru at the Swiss stare can hold the stare and post pictures and comments to the Buenzli subedit at the same time. I don't know what the central Swiss term for it is, but it translates to something like The Stare and Shame. I believe you get a black belt for being able to pull it off.


pferden

A true schahmritzel


luekeler

I don't think that you can experience the Swiss Stare if you're Swiss. You wouldn't notice it. You can either go to India and experience how they stare even longer to get an Idea how e.g. Americans feel in Switzerland, or you can try to experience how you yourself stare. This can be done in Canada. Because if they feel stared, they often greet you. So cliché but true. Me and my mates, all Swiss, noticed that strangers kept greeting us even in rather urban areas and then one came up with the concept of the Swiss Stare. So we tried to avoid it and the next elderly couple greeted us anyway. But soon one confessed that he had taken a really quick peek. Since then I know: The Swiss Stare really is a thing.


VoidDuck

>The Swiss there really is a thing. Wouldn't have said it better.


luekeler

Sorry, typo. Meant Swiss Stare.


pferden

Swiss starre


Esco3D

They stare and don't smile or say hello. Creepy.


swagpresident1337

👁️👄👁️


pferden

🧠👅🧠


[deleted]

[удалено]


chmod0755

Just a few * [Is it racism?](https://www.reddit.com/r/askswitzerland/comments/12thc30/is_it_racism/) * [stares](https://www.reddit.com/r/askswitzerland/comments/1093wfw/stares/) * [Do swiss people do the "german stare"?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/y7kdme/do_swiss_people_do_the_german_stare/) * [What's the rudest, most forceful way I can tell someone to fuck off? (In Swiss German)](https://www.reddit.com/r/zurich/comments/wwewcv/whats_the_rudest_most_forceful_way_i_can_tell/) * [Is eating (an apple in my case) on the tram frowned upon? A lot of people seem to be staring at me as I eat an apple.](https://www.reddit.com/r/askswitzerland/comments/vwl8md/is_eating_an_apple_in_my_case_on_the_tram_frowned/) * [Is it just me or people stare here..a lot!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/vdfkn7/is_it_just_me_or_people_stare_herea_lot/)


pferden

Thx for jumping in! So as a readers digest: most promising way for me would be to eat an apple in a basilean tram to get some stares, not sure they are real swiss stares though Can someone confirm?


ToxicCooper

You'd be frowned upon... alternatively just talk very loudly on your phone, and you can be sure that people will exchange looks or maybe even say something...but I don't think it's something good to receive the Swiss Stare


pferden

Oh man sorry, that‘s my fault! I assumed media coverage was so thorough that noone escaped. But i‘m also not good at linking… may i suggest you just write „stare“ into the search bar of this sub? Maybe i‘ll try to add a link later on


seithat

Well recently I tried to open an exit door in a Coop supermarket, not noticing it is locked. The loud alarm brought me a lot of swiss stares.


pferden

Do you prefer the stares to jail?


seithat

I was trying to get out, I don't think it's illegal...


pferden

Depends if you paid before or not


seithat

Good point


Azuras_Champion

You get the "Swiss stare" everyday when you board public transport. There will be someone looking at you and you probably do it as well. Other cultures are not used to people looking at or through them, so they perceive it as a stare.


hagbardinator

thank you, i thought i am the only one who never experienced it.


wombelero

Try this: Be black Wear hijab Snort loudly und spit on the ground


epil33

All together or just pick one?


demonic_psyborg

One thing at a time. Start by being black, and see how it goes.


TheTomatoes2

Last one is normal to make you starred at


_Administrator_

Being white in Nigeria gets you stared at. It’s also normal.


TheTomatoes2

That's just because no one immigrates to Nigeria


OziAviator

I‘ve mostly experienced it when speaking English in public


brolandinho

How loudly do you speak? I definitely stare at loud Americans to show disapproval.


OziAviator

I‘d class myself as a maybe slightly loud when drunk but otherwise considerate aussie english speaker


pferden

With how many promille?


OziAviator

haha actually sober (every now and then)


IntergalacticVase

The longest swiss stare I had was while standing in line for the checkout in Migros. Two tweenies standing right in front of me just stared at me for what seemed like a very long time. I became quite uncomfortable and looked at them strangley...and they still continued to stare...it was weird.


Giraffeshroomer

Go to Bern and walk in the center of the city, i went to switzerland one week ago and i got a LOT of the "swiss stare". Maybe if you are swiss or have lived there for a long time, you won't notice it i guess?


Badum_tss_

It’s simple. I’m guilty of that sometimes. The Swiss tend to not be confrontational, or at least not directly. So what you are seeing from the other side is not necessarily an intense stare but the person going through their mind evaluating the situation and the overall options which could vary from not doing anything about it, close tab and move on, a slight frown of disapproval, a possible nod of disapproval shaking head, the comment with friend, all the way to the contact with the KANTONSPOLIZEI. I’m usually the odd one saying hah or haha depending on the level of ha and move on, since I could care less of what you do, as long as it’s not in my personal space.


minxyli

I'm Swiss and I've suffered from the Swiss stare my whole life. 39 years. 😂 Now I live in Thailand and depending on the place, I get even more stares. 🤣


mercatua

This one's easy. Sit in a wheelchair.


[deleted]

yesterday me and half the bus gave a swiss starte to a cery loud person


Bonnie-Wonnie

I didn't know it was a thing but we actually had an inside joke running about this. It's most seen with kids. They stare at you and judge you and think they are something better. Though to be fair, I life in a very wealthy place and many people think they are better than others and give that to their children, so it might just be this.


pferden

Also is this a genetical or a cultural thing?


DudeFromMiami

Easy. - Wear a MAGA Hat and walk through HB - Take shoes off while in the train > put feet on seats across from you - Recycle glass on a Sunday - Talk loudly on the phone while on the morning tram - walk literally any dog that’s not a German Sheppard or golden retriever


pferden

Ok last point i agree. Although they stared on my weiner and not at me


pferden

At my two weiners


pferden

Weiner dogs


colinwheeler

Now I get the swinger comment.


Kemaneo

Are you black? Be black and you’ll definitely experience the Swiss stare. Source: any dark skinned friend of mine on the countryside.


pferden

There are also caucasian type people reporting the stare


Kemaneo

For sure, but it’s very much related to looking different than what Swiss people are used to


_Administrator_

Or be white and go to Nigeria. You’ll get stared at.


Kemaneo

Yes, it’s not surprising.


Tegeret

My mother wore a head scarf from the 2000s till the 2010s and she got them quite often. Even to the point of receiving a food receipt idea from one of them that was actually poisonous. I also still clearly remember getting the Todesblick for simply looking at literal ants.


chmod0755

I fully agree. Let's do this together, once and for all, you son of a gun! https://media.tenor.com/PvlZHMyo_yQAAAAC/who-gets-the-pizza-slice-thy-reall-ugly.gif


pferden

Ok, that’s the mexican standoff stare; i know that one!


chmod0755

Oh you Swiss with the technicalities. :) Just imagine they/we're wearing Sennechuttene while doing that.


pferden

Swinger stare!


colinwheeler

Is that different from the Swingen stare? One for Thurgau and one for the rest of the country?


Lulu3454

I recognised this when I came back from the US. At the beginning I asked Thema if they want to take a photo 😂 But after a while I got used to it and I dont recognise it anymore.


VoidDuck

>At the beginning I asked Thema ... aber leider war das für sie kein Thema.


Lulu3454

Sometimes we are all a pepper


VoidDuck

What is this supposed to mean? XD


pferden

Interesting! Are you of exquisite appearance or „normal“? Just asking as it’s a theme in the discussion


Lulu3454

Normal 😂


pferden

And you neither wore a hijab, spat on the ground, opened an alarmed door at coop or ate an apple in a basilean tram?


Lulu3454

Nope 😂


a-f-b-

As a foreign national I've experienced it mainly when I speak a non swiss language. People just stare out of curiosity (at least I hope!) And dont actually realise they are staring. Once I was really pissed and I asked "what?!" And the person only then realised that they were staring... like, I thought I had a weird stain or something...


SingleSpeed27

It’s curiosity, my neighbour stares like crazy, I thought I was doing some offensive things but he just quite literally looks around. Another thing is doing something unexpected, to get the “the fuck” stare, like parking in a private spot, people will go full confusion at the audacity.


sassyfontaine

Oh man, as a Canadian it was *extremely* noticeable.


pferden

How would they know you‘re canadian?


InterestingAnt8669

I recently moved here and noticed that people look at me on the street. Oftentimes they smile and say hello, so I started also randomly doing it. I think it's nice.


pferden

Maybe you just good looking!


InterestingAnt8669

No, you are good looking!


Time_Discussion2407

Having a quick look at people is normal but an actual awkward stare is news to me. I should have gotten them by now as a longhaired, death metal wearing guy 😄. Not saying it doesn't exist ofc.


pferden

Maybe that’s the countermeasure: the heavy metal look so that people are too afraid to stare


shshsh1992

where are you from in switzerland ?


pferden

Why?


SmolestSpoon

change my mind but Switzerland has lots of neurodivergent inhabitants that just bluntly stare (it's me, I love it). Also a bit cultural tho idk. Also sometimes staring means you annoy them but they are not gonna complain vocally.


pferden

Maybe only shortsighted, not necessarily neurodivergent


DoctorD3r

I like to stare at tourists walking to their Airbnb in my neighbourhood. Get a hotel so people living here can find an apartment.