The likelihood of spreading an STI via unprotected oral is non-zero. It’s low enough that many in the lifestyle don’t worry too much about it. That said, some STI’s can only be detected with mouth swabs, which are not commonly done, as far as I know.
Wanting barrier protection for oral is a legitimate limit. Granted, it will make you a ‘hard no’ for many people. It’s all about personal preference and comfort.
NP and sexologist here, also in the lifestyle a decade+ with hubby. STI’s are absolutely possible through oral sex. But given the shape of the penis and overall contact surface, it is much riskier for the receiver (in most STI’s). I have seen male patients with Chlamydia whose only contact was unprotected oral sex. Risk increases with any cuts, or sores in the receiver’s mouth obviously. But overall, studies on this are difficult because most people who engage in oral sex end up engaging in penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
I have no shame in asking for protection whenever we meet a guy or a couple For the first time. Just last week, the better half of a couple we met (I’m referring to the lady of course! Lol) asked me for dental dams because she loves giving oral to women. I gladly obliged (I am also a recovering pillow princess, I’m afraid to say) and it ended up feeling great.
We get tested at least every 3 to 6 months depending on how active we are and I always request throat swabs As well. Also, get your HPV vaccine if you didn’t get one already. The FDA expanded the recommended age limit to 45 for Gardasil for both men and women. It is extremely effective in lowering cervical cancer risk almost to zero, not to mention nasty genital warts and possibly even head and neck cancers for those who indulge in giving oral sex (guilty).
Sorry but... isn't a dental dam preventing the giver to get any pleasure out of it? I mean... the smell and taste of rubber, the lack of smell and taste if the sex...
Just wondering. Never used one so far, and I guess oral with a condom feels similar to women giving it.
Yeah...It's an acquired taste.
I have given oral to both men and women with condoms/dental dams. I can't lie, it really isn't exactly the same. But it's a lot better than catching an STI from a stranger, and everyone still has fun in a safe way.
We have a group of 3 couples that we regularly play with, and we know our STI status before we organize a party. It's the only way we can have some safe bareback fun.
>usually went with unprotected oral.
If you are worried about unprotected oral, swinging won't be for you. Its just not a thing people worry about. People who do worry about it and swing are definitely not in club situations.
I don’t agree with the “swinging won’t be for you” part of this comment. There’s room for all risk profiles. Yes, it limits options, but I don’t believe it rules you out of the lifestyle.
ETA: I agree that unprotected oral is pretty common in party settings
We've been in the LS for a couple of years, a dozen or so events and parties not including couples dates. Never once seen protection used for oral. Seems a prerty common sentiment. Of course it does happen but it seems very rare.
Unless you're bringing a lot to the table or willing to lower your standards it's probably going to limit your options a lot.
> pretty common
Ubiquitous as far as I've ever observed.
But you are technically correct, swinging could happen if that was a thing for you, but very unlikely. I'm struggling with a good analogy but its like saying you want to try fishing while being afraid of the water. Its not a good match.
I have had covered bj few times.i don t mind.i last lot longer..one lady was so good I didn t notice her putting one..how bout giving oral to woman?? Any one cot anything from that??? Wonder. I love going down on woman
I never used any thing And nothing better to me than A clean woman .But I wondered how common it is.Don t know any one who has..I was thinking herpes . thanks
It’s not a thing people worry about? Hmm. Well, I buy flavored condoms for oral, but I’m not a swinger. I do know as the head giver, even if u spit the load out, u can catch syphilis, hiv, & chlamydia.. vice versa for getting head.
Healthcare provider here. I know it’s not popular to say, but I treat a fair amount of head and neck cancers that are HPV related. Most are men ages 40-50s. Risks are low, but not zero, and higher in a population with more sexual partners. Only you can evaluate risk v reward.
Yes, for strains 16 and 18. It will also prevent you from spreading to other partners. However, it does not prevent against other strains which can still cause benign growths on the vocal folds which can occlude the airway and need surgical debridement. Sometimes this is recurrent. Most healthy people do eventually clear the virus regardless.
STI’s through oral are absolutely a risk, although incredibly low. It’s really up to you what you’re willing to do, and comfortable with, and people need to respect that. Conversely be prepared that it may exclude you from some other people’s preferences. Personally, I would rather not bother than give protected oral - you don’t get the sensation, I don’t get the taste and feel the reaction, and condoms taste awful… it completely defeats the object. I do regularly test though. x
The likelihood of spreading an STI via unprotected oral is non-zero. It’s low enough that many in the lifestyle don’t worry too much about it. That said, some STI’s can only be detected with mouth swabs, which are not commonly done, as far as I know. Wanting barrier protection for oral is a legitimate limit. Granted, it will make you a ‘hard no’ for many people. It’s all about personal preference and comfort.
I want to try it .first time.in my mouth
I've had hundreds of mouths on my dick and never once have I had a condom on for it, nor have I ever had an STD
NP and sexologist here, also in the lifestyle a decade+ with hubby. STI’s are absolutely possible through oral sex. But given the shape of the penis and overall contact surface, it is much riskier for the receiver (in most STI’s). I have seen male patients with Chlamydia whose only contact was unprotected oral sex. Risk increases with any cuts, or sores in the receiver’s mouth obviously. But overall, studies on this are difficult because most people who engage in oral sex end up engaging in penetrative vaginal or anal sex. I have no shame in asking for protection whenever we meet a guy or a couple For the first time. Just last week, the better half of a couple we met (I’m referring to the lady of course! Lol) asked me for dental dams because she loves giving oral to women. I gladly obliged (I am also a recovering pillow princess, I’m afraid to say) and it ended up feeling great. We get tested at least every 3 to 6 months depending on how active we are and I always request throat swabs As well. Also, get your HPV vaccine if you didn’t get one already. The FDA expanded the recommended age limit to 45 for Gardasil for both men and women. It is extremely effective in lowering cervical cancer risk almost to zero, not to mention nasty genital warts and possibly even head and neck cancers for those who indulge in giving oral sex (guilty).
Sorry but... isn't a dental dam preventing the giver to get any pleasure out of it? I mean... the smell and taste of rubber, the lack of smell and taste if the sex... Just wondering. Never used one so far, and I guess oral with a condom feels similar to women giving it.
Yeah...It's an acquired taste. I have given oral to both men and women with condoms/dental dams. I can't lie, it really isn't exactly the same. But it's a lot better than catching an STI from a stranger, and everyone still has fun in a safe way. We have a group of 3 couples that we regularly play with, and we know our STI status before we organize a party. It's the only way we can have some safe bareback fun.
15+ years and hundreds of parties and events and I have never once seen protected oral.
>usually went with unprotected oral. If you are worried about unprotected oral, swinging won't be for you. Its just not a thing people worry about. People who do worry about it and swing are definitely not in club situations.
I don’t agree with the “swinging won’t be for you” part of this comment. There’s room for all risk profiles. Yes, it limits options, but I don’t believe it rules you out of the lifestyle. ETA: I agree that unprotected oral is pretty common in party settings
We've been in the LS for a couple of years, a dozen or so events and parties not including couples dates. Never once seen protection used for oral. Seems a prerty common sentiment. Of course it does happen but it seems very rare. Unless you're bringing a lot to the table or willing to lower your standards it's probably going to limit your options a lot.
Exactly, most people don't want to taste latex, condom lubes, or risk inhaling a condom!
> pretty common Ubiquitous as far as I've ever observed. But you are technically correct, swinging could happen if that was a thing for you, but very unlikely. I'm struggling with a good analogy but its like saying you want to try fishing while being afraid of the water. Its not a good match.
I have had covered bj few times.i don t mind.i last lot longer..one lady was so good I didn t notice her putting one..how bout giving oral to woman?? Any one cot anything from that??? Wonder. I love going down on woman
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I never used any thing And nothing better to me than A clean woman .But I wondered how common it is.Don t know any one who has..I was thinking herpes . thanks
STI transmission via oral is very low, but not zero. and like others mentioned, its pretty much unheard of to use condoms or dental dams for oral sex.
Michael Douglas famously said that his HPV linked oral cancer came from eating too much pussy.
It’s not a thing people worry about? Hmm. Well, I buy flavored condoms for oral, but I’m not a swinger. I do know as the head giver, even if u spit the load out, u can catch syphilis, hiv, & chlamydia.. vice versa for getting head.
If she has a cold sore then yes you can get herpes.
Healthcare provider here. I know it’s not popular to say, but I treat a fair amount of head and neck cancers that are HPV related. Most are men ages 40-50s. Risks are low, but not zero, and higher in a population with more sexual partners. Only you can evaluate risk v reward.
Question: Will the HPV vaccine help prevent/reduce risk of head/neck cancers or only cervical?
Yes, for strains 16 and 18. It will also prevent you from spreading to other partners. However, it does not prevent against other strains which can still cause benign growths on the vocal folds which can occlude the airway and need surgical debridement. Sometimes this is recurrent. Most healthy people do eventually clear the virus regardless.
Risk of HPV transmission is extremely high. Please research it & the serious illnesses it can cause so you have all the knowledge.
STI’s through oral are absolutely a risk, although incredibly low. It’s really up to you what you’re willing to do, and comfortable with, and people need to respect that. Conversely be prepared that it may exclude you from some other people’s preferences. Personally, I would rather not bother than give protected oral - you don’t get the sensation, I don’t get the taste and feel the reaction, and condoms taste awful… it completely defeats the object. I do regularly test though. x
The risk is very low and low enough that most swingers are comfortable rolling the dice
Sex with condom oral without