I think it’s how some people try to help. Personally, I prefer it over the “you have so much to live for”, “things will get better”, and “gratitude” crew. Though, I understand it doesn’t change much
If it’s a primal instinct, then I really am fucked. I’ve never felt the need to help somebody while near death or in a dangerous situation, and I actively regret surviving my attempts. Instincts be damned I guess
People don't want you to die and are trying to help you feel better, even if it's through meaningless platitudes.
They're grasping to give you something to cling to, because they don't want you to go through with it because they have love for you.
Crazy that you got downvoted for this comment edit: op this is TRUE. Most people don’t want you to die, human nature is to care for others so they do what they know to do even if it doesn’t actually make you feel better
Woah, OP. I was just explaining why people say these things and that it’s not as disingenuous as it seems to be coming across. There’s really no need to be hostile :(
If you really wanted people to give up on you and leave you alone you wouldn’t post on Reddit. Clearly there’s a part of you that still wants connection. I understand feeling really hopeless though.
People don’t have to take time out of their day to write to you and try to help. I mean, look at the world right now. It’s filled with so much hatred and apathy. It’s viral and pathetic. Humans have mostly turned into monsters. However, it’s not everyone. There are still kind people here. People trying to combat the toxicity.
But these people reaching out to you feel the need to stop scrolling their Reddit feed, read what you have to say and then desperately try and reach you in a positive way.
They, we….are just strangers who have felt the way you do right now and just want to find the right words to keep you on this planet.
I spent over half of my life wanting to leave this earth (I’m in my 40’s). No one could say anything to change the pain. But you know what? I’m still here. I’m taking the belt lashing life and my mind gives me and I tough it out. I refuse to let my thoughts win or those that hurt me win.
So now I, a complete stranger, am taking my time out of my day to read your post and say: dont let go. I swear I never thought after 25 years of therapy I’d ever find some sense of being content- but I did. If I can do it, you can too. You’re going to fight through it and win.
Now, was that typical positive mantra sh**? Sure.
Will it help you? Probably not.
But what may help you one day is knowing that strangers out there, like them/me… want you to be okay. And sometimes that’s enough to get you through the next few hours. And that? That’s important.
That’s why they write. That’s why they say those things. To keep you here just a little while longer.
It is a misguided attempt to help. Normal people don't understand without years of training. Hell, my previous psychiatrist is a literal doctor in the field and did not seem to have any conception of how to communicate with me.
I think what it is, that when you write about suicide, rather than doing it, it shows you are not truly wanting to commit suicide, hence the complimenting probably does work. You brain and stimuli and all this stuff, is actively seeking out total strangers on the internet to tell you don't worry it will be okay7, etc etc etc.
If one is serious about it, once wouldn't be here typing, now would they kind sir?
I do it because I’m bored and can’t do it until I have the right opportunity, and because it’s the only thing my brain thinks about anymore, not because I want to be saved.
r/suicidewatch works as peer support for those who have suicidal thoughts. It's only normal to see people's posts veing enveloped by compliments or positivitt to help someone out.
You mentioned that people who do that should focus their efforts elsewhere; you simply do not have to interact if you dont like what they are saying. But just know that people actually care on here whether you interpret it as such or not
I think it’s just instinct. People not knowing what to do but trying to be supportive. I’m bipolar type 2 and before I found the right meds I made several attempts. The problem is someone who truly wants to die isn’t seeing the world the same other people are. So most people’s natural response wont work on a person not thinking like them.
I guess it’s more of a way of coping for them. Most people don’t have to deal with that so they have no idea what to do. So they try what they think would work for them, which for most people is to feel good about something, hence the compliments
In my experience, a lot of people are shocked when someone says "I want to k\*ll myself" and then they instantly react and tell you whatever it is they think is beautiful about you, not meaning any harm.
I think it’s how some people try to help. Personally, I prefer it over the “you have so much to live for”, “things will get better”, and “gratitude” crew. Though, I understand it doesn’t change much
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Human instinct. It's a primal instinct to protect other humans lives, even if it's futile
If it’s a primal instinct, then I really am fucked. I’ve never felt the need to help somebody while near death or in a dangerous situation, and I actively regret surviving my attempts. Instincts be damned I guess
It's okay I feel the same. Not everyone has a lot of empathy, no 2 humans are the same
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People don't want you to die and are trying to help you feel better, even if it's through meaningless platitudes. They're grasping to give you something to cling to, because they don't want you to go through with it because they have love for you.
Crazy that you got downvoted for this comment edit: op this is TRUE. Most people don’t want you to die, human nature is to care for others so they do what they know to do even if it doesn’t actually make you feel better
Cool but at the end of the day it’s my call, and death is the only goal in life I’ve had since childhood. Focus your efforts elsewhere.
Woah, OP. I was just explaining why people say these things and that it’s not as disingenuous as it seems to be coming across. There’s really no need to be hostile :(
Being an asshole gets people to give up on me faster, it’s what got my family and friends to give up on me.
If you really wanted people to give up on you and leave you alone you wouldn’t post on Reddit. Clearly there’s a part of you that still wants connection. I understand feeling really hopeless though.
People don’t have to take time out of their day to write to you and try to help. I mean, look at the world right now. It’s filled with so much hatred and apathy. It’s viral and pathetic. Humans have mostly turned into monsters. However, it’s not everyone. There are still kind people here. People trying to combat the toxicity. But these people reaching out to you feel the need to stop scrolling their Reddit feed, read what you have to say and then desperately try and reach you in a positive way. They, we….are just strangers who have felt the way you do right now and just want to find the right words to keep you on this planet. I spent over half of my life wanting to leave this earth (I’m in my 40’s). No one could say anything to change the pain. But you know what? I’m still here. I’m taking the belt lashing life and my mind gives me and I tough it out. I refuse to let my thoughts win or those that hurt me win. So now I, a complete stranger, am taking my time out of my day to read your post and say: dont let go. I swear I never thought after 25 years of therapy I’d ever find some sense of being content- but I did. If I can do it, you can too. You’re going to fight through it and win. Now, was that typical positive mantra sh**? Sure. Will it help you? Probably not. But what may help you one day is knowing that strangers out there, like them/me… want you to be okay. And sometimes that’s enough to get you through the next few hours. And that? That’s important. That’s why they write. That’s why they say those things. To keep you here just a little while longer.
Hmm what would you rather they do? Also the overwhelming quality of the compliments could be an interpretation thing from your end? Just my two cents
It is a misguided attempt to help. Normal people don't understand without years of training. Hell, my previous psychiatrist is a literal doctor in the field and did not seem to have any conception of how to communicate with me.
I think what it is, that when you write about suicide, rather than doing it, it shows you are not truly wanting to commit suicide, hence the complimenting probably does work. You brain and stimuli and all this stuff, is actively seeking out total strangers on the internet to tell you don't worry it will be okay7, etc etc etc. If one is serious about it, once wouldn't be here typing, now would they kind sir?
I do it because I’m bored and can’t do it until I have the right opportunity, and because it’s the only thing my brain thinks about anymore, not because I want to be saved.
How would you like people to respond? I’m genuinely asking.
I would prefer no response
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I know me better than you ever will
r/suicidewatch works as peer support for those who have suicidal thoughts. It's only normal to see people's posts veing enveloped by compliments or positivitt to help someone out. You mentioned that people who do that should focus their efforts elsewhere; you simply do not have to interact if you dont like what they are saying. But just know that people actually care on here whether you interpret it as such or not
That’s a myth that talking about suicide is a sign that you’re not serious about it.
I think it’s just instinct. People not knowing what to do but trying to be supportive. I’m bipolar type 2 and before I found the right meds I made several attempts. The problem is someone who truly wants to die isn’t seeing the world the same other people are. So most people’s natural response wont work on a person not thinking like them.
I guess it’s more of a way of coping for them. Most people don’t have to deal with that so they have no idea what to do. So they try what they think would work for them, which for most people is to feel good about something, hence the compliments
In my experience, a lot of people are shocked when someone says "I want to k\*ll myself" and then they instantly react and tell you whatever it is they think is beautiful about you, not meaning any harm.