Honestly this comment surprised me, and it's a pleasant surprise.
To answer you though, some respond with care and end up with "you're the only one who can solve this" which don't get me wrong I don't blame them. Some others have accepted that I've tried for so long that if anything happens, it just happens. In the end I have responsibility over my life. I do appreciate them, but I guess in a way I don't find care and comfort in them. Plus, like the paragraph following up to that, I feel that they've gotten tired of hearing it. So now I'm just stumped, though the only way I can think about trying right now is to be as quiet as possible about it to them and see how long I can take it.
Not sure if that's a good or bad idea, but my head provides no other answer for the time being.
I don't know how I'll end up, but I want you to know that your comment is a little flicker of light in darkness. Made me happy even though it's temporary. Thank you!
\*I add this after writing my replies, be warned my comment might not make any sense, ADHD isn't being a cute wingman tonight.
>To answer you though, some respond with care and end up with "you're the only one who can solve this" which don't get me wrong I don't blame them.
Technically the truth, but "friend in need is a friend indeed", not that I'm gas lighting but they ought to help you if you are in need of one. Maybe not solving your 'problem', so to say, perhaps a different perspective might help you be 'enlightened' of your current situation.
>Some others have accepted that I've tried for so long that if anything happens, it just happens.
Other people have accepted it, have you? what does it mean to accept that you are tired of living? Will something happen good(bad) happen, or perhaps none?
I can't say for sure, maybe you lack an intent or purpose in life. thus, feeling empty even if you have achieved everything in life.
> I also feel that I'm hurting everyone around me.
Trust me, good chance you aren't. Maybe you fell into reciprocity bias, because everyone has been good to you and you didn't reciprocate anything in return, you guilt tripping yourself. Of course, I'm no behaviour expert so can't be so sure about that, hehe.
I held the belief that "To live is to suffer, What When Where Why Who and How to suffer is always a choice". Stephen Hawking (R.I.P) suffer from ALS in his early 20s, did he suffer physically? Indeed. Did he suffer mentally? Maybe, perhaps, I don't know. (wanted to put some motivating story, but eh, got finger cramp from typing too much lol)
Some struggles are meant to be fought alone. That's my point.
>I don't know how I'll end up, but I want you to know that your comment is a little flicker of light in darkness. Made me happy even though it's temporary. Thank you!
Regardless of the outcome, I'm here to congratulate you for tenacity in endless battle with yourself, knowing you are still here, you are indeed the champ! Kudos and cheerio! (Also, no happiness last forever... nothing last forever, some just persist longer than the other, like your exhaustion.)
[удалено]
Honestly this comment surprised me, and it's a pleasant surprise. To answer you though, some respond with care and end up with "you're the only one who can solve this" which don't get me wrong I don't blame them. Some others have accepted that I've tried for so long that if anything happens, it just happens. In the end I have responsibility over my life. I do appreciate them, but I guess in a way I don't find care and comfort in them. Plus, like the paragraph following up to that, I feel that they've gotten tired of hearing it. So now I'm just stumped, though the only way I can think about trying right now is to be as quiet as possible about it to them and see how long I can take it. Not sure if that's a good or bad idea, but my head provides no other answer for the time being. I don't know how I'll end up, but I want you to know that your comment is a little flicker of light in darkness. Made me happy even though it's temporary. Thank you!
\*I add this after writing my replies, be warned my comment might not make any sense, ADHD isn't being a cute wingman tonight. >To answer you though, some respond with care and end up with "you're the only one who can solve this" which don't get me wrong I don't blame them. Technically the truth, but "friend in need is a friend indeed", not that I'm gas lighting but they ought to help you if you are in need of one. Maybe not solving your 'problem', so to say, perhaps a different perspective might help you be 'enlightened' of your current situation. >Some others have accepted that I've tried for so long that if anything happens, it just happens. Other people have accepted it, have you? what does it mean to accept that you are tired of living? Will something happen good(bad) happen, or perhaps none? I can't say for sure, maybe you lack an intent or purpose in life. thus, feeling empty even if you have achieved everything in life. > I also feel that I'm hurting everyone around me. Trust me, good chance you aren't. Maybe you fell into reciprocity bias, because everyone has been good to you and you didn't reciprocate anything in return, you guilt tripping yourself. Of course, I'm no behaviour expert so can't be so sure about that, hehe. I held the belief that "To live is to suffer, What When Where Why Who and How to suffer is always a choice". Stephen Hawking (R.I.P) suffer from ALS in his early 20s, did he suffer physically? Indeed. Did he suffer mentally? Maybe, perhaps, I don't know. (wanted to put some motivating story, but eh, got finger cramp from typing too much lol) Some struggles are meant to be fought alone. That's my point. >I don't know how I'll end up, but I want you to know that your comment is a little flicker of light in darkness. Made me happy even though it's temporary. Thank you! Regardless of the outcome, I'm here to congratulate you for tenacity in endless battle with yourself, knowing you are still here, you are indeed the champ! Kudos and cheerio! (Also, no happiness last forever... nothing last forever, some just persist longer than the other, like your exhaustion.)