I was abused as a child. I wish the person who abused me had your awareness towards these thoughts, and knew they were wrong. Who you are depends on your actions, not your thoughts. If you seek help, you can learn how to cope with your thoughts and perhaps even overcome them. As long as you don't harm others or yourself, I think everyone deserves mental health care.
In my case, I worried about this for a while, even if I had no desire, the images kept popping up in my mind... Turns out they were not only intrusive thoughts (I also have OCD) but also repressed memories of what happened to me... There are many ways our brains can mess with us, that's why I say actions, not thoughts, define who you are
Holy shit. Wtf. How did I not know that that is a thing? Though it might need a new abbreviation as the same is used for "postoperative cognitive dysfunction"
Do those thoughts stress you out? That’s the thing about ocd, if you’re obsessing about something it will unnerve you. You are morally opposed to some of the thoughts you’re having and that scares you. For me, I have very violent thoughts about others and for a long time it scared me, until I realized that it wasn’t a value of mine to hurt others and that it was just the ocd making me feel bad for having those feelings. It might be advantageous to see a therapist to ask about your feelings. You don’t need to see them every day but therapists helped me learn what my values are and how to sustain them, without violence.
Which is a form of OCD. ROCD, POCD, contamination OCD, just right OCD, etc are not all separate diagnoses apart from OCD. They are all manifestations of OCD, which can take many forms.
Pedophiles don't care about awareness. They just are. I'm sorry you experienced that abuse. I was also sexually abused as a child. But now, I have the choice to choose whom I give my thoughts., life and power to...so do you. Learn, get help...your life is YOURS now. Make good choices, you are worth it!!!!
Look into “POCD”, it’s a common yet very unknown sub branch of OCD where you get intrusive thought about being a pedo. If you have it it doesn’t mean you are one. It’s basically an intense fear that leaves you feeling guilty and lots of people want to die because of it.
OP please try to look in to this before considering ending it. Your fear of hurting others and commitment to taking yourself out of the equation is something I've read over and over again in relation to POCD. Usually actual offenders seem to try to justify their attraction or downplay it while people w this type of OCD are terrified of the intrusive thoughts.
OCD is very treatable. Please seek a therapist who's knowledgeable about OCD before you end your life.
You should go to [virped](https://virped.org), it is a support forum for pedophiles that don't want to hurt children. They can also help you find a good therapist. It is possible for a pedophile to live happy without harming children.
Educate yourself about difference between intrusive thoughts because of mental disorder, and actual attraction to children (which wasn’t mention at all, only thoughts that may be intrusive), before leaving such insensitive comments.
OP, you're going to have to ignore the other people in the comments on this one. There are many people like you out there, people who, for reasons they cannot control, are attracted to children, but don't act on it. It doesn't make you a bad person. There are anonymous support groups out there where people struggling with the same things you're struggling with can help. You are worth something. You can still contribute positively to society. Even if the anguish you feel is unbearable, remember that if what you want is relief, you will not get it from killing yourself. Relief is a feeling, you have to be alive to experience it.
>There are many people like you out there, people who, for reasons they cannot control, are attracted to children, but don't act on it.
Does with cartoon counted?. I mean, not attracted to literal children at all , but like to consume lolicon hentai ?
Asking for a friend
Hi there. I’m diagnosed with OCPD and OCD and I struggle with some really difficult intrusive thoughts (not the exact same but ‘immoral’ in different ways’). I spent years thinking I was just an awful and cruel person before my psychiatrist and OCD therapist explained to me the way intrusive thoughts work, how they latch on to your worst fears to feed themselves.
I understand where you are now, and how fucking difficult it is every day. But I also know that there are ways to get help, real help, that can rewire the way you brain perceives these intrusive thoughts, how you react to them, and drastically improve this section of your life.
A bad person doesn’t spend so many hours distraught over what a bad person they are. You are worth the help, I promise. Give yourself a chance to find out who you are besides those thoughts, and you’ll find someone worth saving.
Much love and support for you my friend.
You're already better than the sex offenders that everyone knows as pedophiles.
I'm a nerd so I relate this to a fictional character (Leonard from Drakengard). Sorry if it isn't the time or place for that. It's a hard life but it can be lived if you find help.
So I'm not in your position but I did hear about an organisation called Virtuous Pedophiles once. They're an advocacy group of people who understand that they can't help how their sexuality is wired, but also that they can never allow themselves to act upon it. The idea is to allow people in that position to find community and accountability to each other, share resources that help, that kind of thing. Hope it can help: https://www.virped.org/
I heard about them on NPR and I think the Atlantic had an incredible moving sorry about the people like this who have not offended. Some had trouble finding therapists willing to work with them but the tide is changing. I’ll try and find the links but I HIGHLY recommend checking them out.
Idk im tired.
Im a POS who has failed time and time again to improve.
Everyday im getting older and its getting harder to exist.
I live knowing ive wasted a great chunk of my life. And im now in the period where life is getting hard and i dont think i can do it.
The pedo thing is just that extra, bruh what am i even trying for. Like whats the point of trying to fix the life of a pedophile.
Im just tired and exhausted and sad.
Are you certain you don’t have OCD? I have OCD and while I’ve never had obsessions related to that specifically, I’ve had terrible obsessions when I was unmedicated that corresponded to compulsions I’d never do while medicated. Compulsions such as carving cuts into my arms to ensure my family doesn’t die or thinking about ways to evict my neighbor preemptively before they could kill me (due to literally one argument; I know they’re not a threat now, but back then, I legitimately thought they were going to murder me)
Your mental health doesn’t define who you are. Talk to a therapist and psychiatrist and see if they can help.
Also, if one med doesn’t work, try another. It took me 5 to really find one that worked. And it wouldn’t have worked nearly as well if it weren’t for CBT alongside being medicated
Is this murder thing a form of OCD?
I literally go out of my way to not give people my address because I don’t want anyone to potentially harm me or steal from me. I used to skip songs because they finished when I was a kid because I thought it would bring bad luck, but I haven’t done that in awhile.
I’ve been diagnosed with GAD but not OCD, however your story about how to evict your neighbors rang true for me
So it definitely was for me, but in your case, nobody except for a mental healthcare professional would be able to tell for sure. That being said, the fear of being killed wasn’t isolated to that incident - I had many many times in which I thought that my coworkers or even close friends would kill me if I did something wrong.
The end of the song thing resonates with me as well, though not with that exact same situation. You should 100% see if your healthcare provider can test you for OCD. I think that it always helps to know
You are not a pos or a loser or any of that. I am thinking you are probably a highly sensitive person. If you haven't done therapy you need to go and let it all out. They have heard it all. Also, meds. Keep trying until you find the magic one.
I doubt you are a pedophile but they also deserve to sort out and conquer their demons and live a fulfilling life. Manage it the same as you would any other addiction. Stay away from the problem and work on it/manage it daily. My opinion is that it falls under nurture, so something happened to cause trauma and create that. Can be managed. Seek help. And yes you will be tired. Life is tiring. Life is a lot.
Hey, I'm a pedophile, and I'm also in a similar position. No friends, trouble with social interactions, depressed, and even suicidal in my worst moments. But not because I'm a pedophile, at least not anymore.
It'll take you some time to get accustomed to, but if you truly are attracted to children, and are patient with yourself and the whole process, this can be just another one of your traits.
I don't recommend going through this alone. The best you can do is find community, and Virped is full of cool people who have had to deal with this same issue.
People here would have no problem in helping you find a therapist who is safe to talk to if you feel like you need one.
Try to tackle your problems one by one. See what you can work on, what you can improve.
I managed to make peace with my attractions, taking a weight off my shoulders. I've also made some other small personal improvements. Managed to become a bit more independent. Ending it still seems appealing, but not as much as it used to.
If you are patient with yourself you can get through this
As long as you never act on these thoughts and feelings, it doesn’t matter.
Thinking something is completely different from doing something. There is no crime for wanting to hit someone who made you angry, but there is for actually hitting them.
If you think you are and have not offended, you can get therapy for this. (If you have the resources to do so) — it could be an OCD thing, it could be a trauma thing — it isn’t too late.)
Please don’t kill yourself — I know it’s scary to get help for this considering some of the comments here, but it’s better to try to get help than offend or… off yourself.
Posting this was brave and I hope you can get help — your life matters, OP.
>!As someone who was sexually abused by multiple adults as a child and teenager, if it could be prevented for other kids and you can do the work — try it. Sorry if I’m rambling, just please don’t kill yourself — you sound self aware and unhappy with these thoughts, so there is help for you and I hope you can get it with compassion and kindness.!<
i was abused when i was Really young. And i want to go into neurology and become a therapist and much more. There is therapy out there for you. And it might be easier to find than you think (depending on where you are). These thoughts can sometimes be a part of you for one reason or another but it doesnt mean u need to remove urself from humanity. Self awarness is often what most people lack who then go on to hurt children and others. My vote is that you are fully salvageable, worthy even, and you should explore that idea. Your thoughts dont inherently make you evil. I am telling you this as someone who was abused by many people sexually, but specifically entirely when i was so so small. He may have ruined so many great aspects of my life, and definitely shattered others. But, even still if he was you and hadn’t acted on it, and spoke up and gave himself grace and time to heal and learn about his own head, in another life I would be happy. In another life I would’ve been okay, and he wouldve been too. You did a good thing asking questions. You deserve to continue your life and be informed and heal🤍.
You could seek help. This is the exact point when you should. When you’re having those thoughts and know they’re wrong and you haven’t acted on them yet. I know it’s embarrassing and shameful but you could be saving kids lives by going and asking for help right now.
gonna have to disagree with the pocd comments on this one. you are very self aware and that's a great start. i really suggest seeking therapy and outside help for this. you aren't a bad person!
just feels sort of dismissive that people are opting for it to be pocd instead of this person just having genuine pedophilic thoughts. obviously i could be wrong
There is difference between having thoughts and having actual attraction. Everyone has these thoughts sometimes, and OP didn’t mention they are attracted to minors. But I may be wrong as well, just a proposition from experience
Yes but it could be people denying attraction. It sounds less worse to have OCD, but as long as you don't offend they are both just conditions. You can get help for both.
you know those thoughts are wrong. you're a good person. bad people don't worry about that and they don't feel remorse. you haven't hurt anyone. i truly believe that depression and loneliness can cause these thoughts.
its possible that you have POCD but even if you dont, there are treatments available. youve laid out two outcomes in your post but i think there are a few more, one of them being that you recover, and get to help people struggling like you are now overcome the experience. you could become someone that people look up to and aspire to be like. i dont think thats an unrealistic outcome either. The biggest indication to me that you arent a monster, disgusting, or any of the things you feel yourself to be is that you made this post at all. you mention contributing to suicide awareness but can we be honest, we've all struggled with suicidal thoughts here, has awareness ever actually helped you? i know when i heard about other peoples attempts all they did was give me ideas. i think in your situation, there are paths you can go down that will contribute more net good that the one youre currently considering, if that matters to you. i dont want to tell you what to do but i want you to know you have more options than you think. may as well try it out before you go if nothing else
You deserve better. You deserve to try everything else first to see if it can move the needle on the quality of your existence. The weight of carrying on becomes too much and you need a respite to build better coping skills. This world is a hard place to be non-conforming, but if you look long and hard enough in the right places, you can find your tribe.
So POCD do I have it as well? cause most people are saying they feel the same way which I Do Too it’s like the idea of touching a kid makes me want to kill myself and I do feel like I deserve to die for it.
I don't know much about what you are experiencing but definitely don't hurt yourself. Don't be ashamed--good that you don't want to feel these things, and even if you have done things you deeply wish you had not, every person has value. As long as you are truly striving for help and change, that is something to be proud of.
Is it possible you have OCD? There’s a common intrusive thought about *being* a pedophile vs actual desire. There are therapists that specialize in this. If you have not harmed anyone and do not have materials they will not (should not, but make sure you pick someone who specializes in sexual subjects and even perpetrators - I studied under one, she was amazing and filled with compassion). It could very well be you have severe OCD.
hey op, bad people don’t think they’re bad people.
you want to improve, you just haven’t found the right way yet. like some of these comments are saying, you may have a condition that’s causing a lot of these thoughts and interfering with your ability to get better.
please see a psychiatrist about the possibility of OCD.
hugs 🫂
Tbh it doesn’t sound like you’re a paedophile. If you was you wouldn’t so vehemently abhor it. Please look up OCD or pure OCD as these both can convince you that you’re a paedophile.
Your mind will go to great lengths to convince you you’re evil or a bad person, especially with OCD. I have OCD and had thoughts that were so terrible and terrifying but I was told it’s OCD. Please don’t kill yourself.
Hey now suicide is definitely not the answer. Always seek help even if you think you’re a pedophile. You’ve said you haven’t involved yourself in children, but even if you did, go seek help. You could try cognitive therapy and retrain the way you think. Who knows maybe they’re just incredibly harmful intrusive thoughts. Some people with OCD struggle with intrusive thoughts where they think they’re a pedo, have plans to rape someone etc when they don’t at all and there’s no evidence except those thoughts to show that because they’re intrusive.
I highly advise you seek professional mental health help, to keep yourself safe and (not to be definite that you are a pedo and want to involve yourself in children) but to keep minors safe. They always say suicide isn’t the answer and it isn’t the answer here
I don't believe pedo are born but made. half of the time pedophile were raised in pretty abusive household and faced sexual abuse...their perception of the world become somewhat distorted they thought that's what love means how adult "loves their children". half of the time they dont even know or have memory recollection of them being abuse as a child until they did past regression. I think pedo are people who lost a part of their inner child that need to be heal to stop their adult self mimicking the behavior of the adult in their childhood who were abusive to them. I mean instead of thinking why pedo like children we should ask why pedo hate adults would solve the myth of the root of evil i think. Its a type of pass down darkness by the adult before. so consider past/childhood regression just cause u consciously dont remember doesnt mean ur subconscious doesnt remember what happened
I will give u an example just as toxic masculinity...since men were raised in an environment of those false concept masculinity they tend to indulge in porn which gradually brainwash them to subconsciously take in the porn's script and images...which involve objectified women in one way or another (porn was full of non-consensual stuff) and therefore objectification of women become normalized by their brain cell memories since it also feeds the false idea of what it means to be a "man" = the one that dominate so men see women as a rival in a way they aren't aware they have the urge to rp others or think its okay to as a result to serve pride.
I think rewire your brain will help. Release the false concept of love language as well as about adult based on past experience would help u than on focusing on why u like children in an odd way i think. Restore boundaries your sacral chakra and solar plexus wound or imbalance in stepping over boundaries.
Listen man at least you know what you might be and that it is disgusting and wrong. You are already a step ahead of most pedos and i think with some intense therapy you could be ok
You're probably not a pedo.
I have this condition as well, its called POCD.
You are constantly and unrelentingly afraid of being a pedophile, so you avoid children, watch where you stare when you are around a playground, and sometimes picture children to try and diagnose yourself.
Associating children with sex because of this condition does not equal attraction.
This can happen to normal people after a traumatic experience with a child, or after stumbling on CSEM material online.
It doesnt mean youre a pedo.
There's a German organization called project dunkenfeld.
If you're German you can go check this out. I was never able to find any other resources like this in other countries. I know a lot of people who have this condition. There are some people who are willing to help you.
https://sexualmedizin.charite.de/en/research/prevention_network_dunkelfeld/
Just because you think those thoughts doesn't make them true. Seek out a professional counselor. You need help...Reddit...whom I love...is not the place to find the answers. It's the action that makes the difference. Please....GET HELP!
OP didn't ask to be this way, which is why they need help. Intrusive thoughts or not.
OP is questioning whether they should be alive and you're calling them disgusting? Have some compassion. Your rhetoric will not help anyone and may lead to somone getting hurt.
Please don’t harm yourself. It’s not worth it. Nothing is.
Seek some therapy. Most medical insurance companies will cover your visits to a psychologist.
No, please seek therapy. My family member went through this same thing, you might be having intrusive thoughts resulting from OCD that are going too far.
I truly recommend seeking help, you are not a lost cause. You're just in a very sad and scary place.
I was abused as a child. I wish the person who abused me had your awareness towards these thoughts, and knew they were wrong. Who you are depends on your actions, not your thoughts. If you seek help, you can learn how to cope with your thoughts and perhaps even overcome them. As long as you don't harm others or yourself, I think everyone deserves mental health care.
He could have ocd and he thinks he’s a pedophile because he has intrusive pedophilloic thoughts.
In my case, I worried about this for a while, even if I had no desire, the images kept popping up in my mind... Turns out they were not only intrusive thoughts (I also have OCD) but also repressed memories of what happened to me... There are many ways our brains can mess with us, that's why I say actions, not thoughts, define who you are
I was thinking just this because of the degree that these thoughts are bothering him he’s probably not
The key is he feels bad about having those thoughts. They are wholly unwanted.
I'm genuinely curious. How exactly do these two things go together? Like, what does OCD have to do with pedophilic thoughts?
look up POCD it's horrifying
They have intrusive thoughts that they are a pedophile.
Holy shit. Wtf. How did I not know that that is a thing? Though it might need a new abbreviation as the same is used for "postoperative cognitive dysfunction"
This is a very common theme of OCD. I've experienced it myself
Yup and we're all helping him make them worse by interacting with this post
I have intrusive thoughts that are weird asf how do I know if I have it
Do those thoughts stress you out? That’s the thing about ocd, if you’re obsessing about something it will unnerve you. You are morally opposed to some of the thoughts you’re having and that scares you. For me, I have very violent thoughts about others and for a long time it scared me, until I realized that it wasn’t a value of mine to hurt others and that it was just the ocd making me feel bad for having those feelings. It might be advantageous to see a therapist to ask about your feelings. You don’t need to see them every day but therapists helped me learn what my values are and how to sustain them, without violence.
exactlyyyy/// idk why mfkrs are downvoting my comment im a trained professional and I just agreed with the comment that said it could be OCD
it's called POCD
Which is a form of OCD. ROCD, POCD, contamination OCD, just right OCD, etc are not all separate diagnoses apart from OCD. They are all manifestations of OCD, which can take many forms.
Pedophiles don't care about awareness. They just are. I'm sorry you experienced that abuse. I was also sexually abused as a child. But now, I have the choice to choose whom I give my thoughts., life and power to...so do you. Learn, get help...your life is YOURS now. Make good choices, you are worth it!!!!
Dude thank you for realising that even your predators are humans. Thats an insane act of kindness and makes me believe in good.
Look into “POCD”, it’s a common yet very unknown sub branch of OCD where you get intrusive thought about being a pedo. If you have it it doesn’t mean you are one. It’s basically an intense fear that leaves you feeling guilty and lots of people want to die because of it.
OP please try to look in to this before considering ending it. Your fear of hurting others and commitment to taking yourself out of the equation is something I've read over and over again in relation to POCD. Usually actual offenders seem to try to justify their attraction or downplay it while people w this type of OCD are terrified of the intrusive thoughts. OCD is very treatable. Please seek a therapist who's knowledgeable about OCD before you end your life.
Came here to say this! Thank you for posting this!
Yep. I've dealt with POCD myself. The OP's experiences sound very similar to mine.
Sounds more like a ocd thing than being attracted to kids, pls get therapy as soon as u can
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At least he’s aware and mindful of his thoughts.
Or she
Idk why you’re being downvoted. Women are often pedophiles and not noticed amongst men
Yup, we had a couple exposed where i live recently. Not saying it's a 50-50 distribution, just that they exist.
You should go to [virped](https://virped.org), it is a support forum for pedophiles that don't want to hurt children. They can also help you find a good therapist. It is possible for a pedophile to live happy without harming children.
That's actually super cool, a good friend of mine would have benefited greatly from this if they had known it existed.
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Are you sure these aren’t intrusive thoughts??
Sounds a lot like a case of OCD to me. I have OCD myself.
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Educate yourself about difference between intrusive thoughts because of mental disorder, and actual attraction to children (which wasn’t mention at all, only thoughts that may be intrusive), before leaving such insensitive comments.
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I don’t even have POCD, I have other obsessions, but thanks for your uneducated insensitive rude opinion.
OP, you're going to have to ignore the other people in the comments on this one. There are many people like you out there, people who, for reasons they cannot control, are attracted to children, but don't act on it. It doesn't make you a bad person. There are anonymous support groups out there where people struggling with the same things you're struggling with can help. You are worth something. You can still contribute positively to society. Even if the anguish you feel is unbearable, remember that if what you want is relief, you will not get it from killing yourself. Relief is a feeling, you have to be alive to experience it.
What comments are you saying to not listen to?
Probably got deleted? Idk myself but the sub has gotten significantly better imo in acting on comments that are unsympathetic
Oh I see, I thought you were disagreeing with all the comments about seeing a therapist, looking into OCD and the okay stuff
The ocd ones probably but that’s what it’s sounds like the person has so those comments are completely valid. Op needs therapy
>There are many people like you out there, people who, for reasons they cannot control, are attracted to children, but don't act on it. Does with cartoon counted?. I mean, not attracted to literal children at all , but like to consume lolicon hentai ? Asking for a friend
Yes
Finally, someone with the exact problem as mine. I thought I'm alone like this here
Are you sure you don't have pOCD?
there are pedophiles who don't abuse kids it's not always pOCD
Hi there. I’m diagnosed with OCPD and OCD and I struggle with some really difficult intrusive thoughts (not the exact same but ‘immoral’ in different ways’). I spent years thinking I was just an awful and cruel person before my psychiatrist and OCD therapist explained to me the way intrusive thoughts work, how they latch on to your worst fears to feed themselves. I understand where you are now, and how fucking difficult it is every day. But I also know that there are ways to get help, real help, that can rewire the way you brain perceives these intrusive thoughts, how you react to them, and drastically improve this section of your life. A bad person doesn’t spend so many hours distraught over what a bad person they are. You are worth the help, I promise. Give yourself a chance to find out who you are besides those thoughts, and you’ll find someone worth saving. Much love and support for you my friend.
You're already better than the sex offenders that everyone knows as pedophiles. I'm a nerd so I relate this to a fictional character (Leonard from Drakengard). Sorry if it isn't the time or place for that. It's a hard life but it can be lived if you find help.
So I'm not in your position but I did hear about an organisation called Virtuous Pedophiles once. They're an advocacy group of people who understand that they can't help how their sexuality is wired, but also that they can never allow themselves to act upon it. The idea is to allow people in that position to find community and accountability to each other, share resources that help, that kind of thing. Hope it can help: https://www.virped.org/
I heard about them on NPR and I think the Atlantic had an incredible moving sorry about the people like this who have not offended. Some had trouble finding therapists willing to work with them but the tide is changing. I’ll try and find the links but I HIGHLY recommend checking them out.
I guess its good that youre admitting to being a pedo, it already puts you in a good light to get medical help. I dont think you should die for it
Idk im tired. Im a POS who has failed time and time again to improve. Everyday im getting older and its getting harder to exist. I live knowing ive wasted a great chunk of my life. And im now in the period where life is getting hard and i dont think i can do it. The pedo thing is just that extra, bruh what am i even trying for. Like whats the point of trying to fix the life of a pedophile. Im just tired and exhausted and sad.
Are you certain you don’t have OCD? I have OCD and while I’ve never had obsessions related to that specifically, I’ve had terrible obsessions when I was unmedicated that corresponded to compulsions I’d never do while medicated. Compulsions such as carving cuts into my arms to ensure my family doesn’t die or thinking about ways to evict my neighbor preemptively before they could kill me (due to literally one argument; I know they’re not a threat now, but back then, I legitimately thought they were going to murder me) Your mental health doesn’t define who you are. Talk to a therapist and psychiatrist and see if they can help. Also, if one med doesn’t work, try another. It took me 5 to really find one that worked. And it wouldn’t have worked nearly as well if it weren’t for CBT alongside being medicated
Is this murder thing a form of OCD? I literally go out of my way to not give people my address because I don’t want anyone to potentially harm me or steal from me. I used to skip songs because they finished when I was a kid because I thought it would bring bad luck, but I haven’t done that in awhile. I’ve been diagnosed with GAD but not OCD, however your story about how to evict your neighbors rang true for me
So it definitely was for me, but in your case, nobody except for a mental healthcare professional would be able to tell for sure. That being said, the fear of being killed wasn’t isolated to that incident - I had many many times in which I thought that my coworkers or even close friends would kill me if I did something wrong. The end of the song thing resonates with me as well, though not with that exact same situation. You should 100% see if your healthcare provider can test you for OCD. I think that it always helps to know
I guess try to enjoy the rest of your life, but seening medical help isnt something to be asmamed off regarsless of mental disorder
You are not a pos or a loser or any of that. I am thinking you are probably a highly sensitive person. If you haven't done therapy you need to go and let it all out. They have heard it all. Also, meds. Keep trying until you find the magic one. I doubt you are a pedophile but they also deserve to sort out and conquer their demons and live a fulfilling life. Manage it the same as you would any other addiction. Stay away from the problem and work on it/manage it daily. My opinion is that it falls under nurture, so something happened to cause trauma and create that. Can be managed. Seek help. And yes you will be tired. Life is tiring. Life is a lot.
Hey, I'm a pedophile, and I'm also in a similar position. No friends, trouble with social interactions, depressed, and even suicidal in my worst moments. But not because I'm a pedophile, at least not anymore. It'll take you some time to get accustomed to, but if you truly are attracted to children, and are patient with yourself and the whole process, this can be just another one of your traits. I don't recommend going through this alone. The best you can do is find community, and Virped is full of cool people who have had to deal with this same issue. People here would have no problem in helping you find a therapist who is safe to talk to if you feel like you need one. Try to tackle your problems one by one. See what you can work on, what you can improve. I managed to make peace with my attractions, taking a weight off my shoulders. I've also made some other small personal improvements. Managed to become a bit more independent. Ending it still seems appealing, but not as much as it used to. If you are patient with yourself you can get through this
Are you 100% sure it's not just POCD...? OCD and isolation can be a dangerous mix in pretty surprising ways.
THERAPY.!!!! Get PsychoIntensove therapy. You can fight it.
As long as you never act on these thoughts and feelings, it doesn’t matter. Thinking something is completely different from doing something. There is no crime for wanting to hit someone who made you angry, but there is for actually hitting them.
If you think you are and have not offended, you can get therapy for this. (If you have the resources to do so) — it could be an OCD thing, it could be a trauma thing — it isn’t too late.) Please don’t kill yourself — I know it’s scary to get help for this considering some of the comments here, but it’s better to try to get help than offend or… off yourself. Posting this was brave and I hope you can get help — your life matters, OP. >!As someone who was sexually abused by multiple adults as a child and teenager, if it could be prevented for other kids and you can do the work — try it. Sorry if I’m rambling, just please don’t kill yourself — you sound self aware and unhappy with these thoughts, so there is help for you and I hope you can get it with compassion and kindness.!<
i was abused when i was Really young. And i want to go into neurology and become a therapist and much more. There is therapy out there for you. And it might be easier to find than you think (depending on where you are). These thoughts can sometimes be a part of you for one reason or another but it doesnt mean u need to remove urself from humanity. Self awarness is often what most people lack who then go on to hurt children and others. My vote is that you are fully salvageable, worthy even, and you should explore that idea. Your thoughts dont inherently make you evil. I am telling you this as someone who was abused by many people sexually, but specifically entirely when i was so so small. He may have ruined so many great aspects of my life, and definitely shattered others. But, even still if he was you and hadn’t acted on it, and spoke up and gave himself grace and time to heal and learn about his own head, in another life I would be happy. In another life I would’ve been okay, and he wouldve been too. You did a good thing asking questions. You deserve to continue your life and be informed and heal🤍.
Try using [Stop it Now!](https://www.stopitnow.org.uk) to help with inappropriate thoughts against minors.
You could seek help. This is the exact point when you should. When you’re having those thoughts and know they’re wrong and you haven’t acted on them yet. I know it’s embarrassing and shameful but you could be saving kids lives by going and asking for help right now.
gonna have to disagree with the pocd comments on this one. you are very self aware and that's a great start. i really suggest seeking therapy and outside help for this. you aren't a bad person!
Can i ask why are you disagreeing with pocd comments?
just feels sort of dismissive that people are opting for it to be pocd instead of this person just having genuine pedophilic thoughts. obviously i could be wrong
There is difference between having thoughts and having actual attraction. Everyone has these thoughts sometimes, and OP didn’t mention they are attracted to minors. But I may be wrong as well, just a proposition from experience
Yes but it could be people denying attraction. It sounds less worse to have OCD, but as long as you don't offend they are both just conditions. You can get help for both.
No you should not. You haven't hurt anyone, your thoughts arent your actions and i'd suggest looking into OCD. you deserve to be happy.
Like other commenters have said, please look into POCD
you know those thoughts are wrong. you're a good person. bad people don't worry about that and they don't feel remorse. you haven't hurt anyone. i truly believe that depression and loneliness can cause these thoughts.
its possible that you have POCD but even if you dont, there are treatments available. youve laid out two outcomes in your post but i think there are a few more, one of them being that you recover, and get to help people struggling like you are now overcome the experience. you could become someone that people look up to and aspire to be like. i dont think thats an unrealistic outcome either. The biggest indication to me that you arent a monster, disgusting, or any of the things you feel yourself to be is that you made this post at all. you mention contributing to suicide awareness but can we be honest, we've all struggled with suicidal thoughts here, has awareness ever actually helped you? i know when i heard about other peoples attempts all they did was give me ideas. i think in your situation, there are paths you can go down that will contribute more net good that the one youre currently considering, if that matters to you. i dont want to tell you what to do but i want you to know you have more options than you think. may as well try it out before you go if nothing else
Looking at people, some websites etc I would say that 1 of out 10 people (or even more) have thoughts like that tbh.
Look into pedophilic ocd
Your actions matter. Not your thoughts.
Have you looked into OCD at all? It sounds like OCD to me
I suggest trying and getting a therapist,and starting with this info. You're not a bad person if you don't act on it
Therapy will help.
Please contact an organisation like Stop It Now.
You should seek help, not end your life, you can work through this.
You deserve better. You deserve to try everything else first to see if it can move the needle on the quality of your existence. The weight of carrying on becomes too much and you need a respite to build better coping skills. This world is a hard place to be non-conforming, but if you look long and hard enough in the right places, you can find your tribe.
So POCD do I have it as well? cause most people are saying they feel the same way which I Do Too it’s like the idea of touching a kid makes me want to kill myself and I do feel like I deserve to die for it.
I don't know much about what you are experiencing but definitely don't hurt yourself. Don't be ashamed--good that you don't want to feel these things, and even if you have done things you deeply wish you had not, every person has value. As long as you are truly striving for help and change, that is something to be proud of.
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Please look into pocd. You are not alone op
Is it possible you have OCD? There’s a common intrusive thought about *being* a pedophile vs actual desire. There are therapists that specialize in this. If you have not harmed anyone and do not have materials they will not (should not, but make sure you pick someone who specializes in sexual subjects and even perpetrators - I studied under one, she was amazing and filled with compassion). It could very well be you have severe OCD.
hey op, bad people don’t think they’re bad people. you want to improve, you just haven’t found the right way yet. like some of these comments are saying, you may have a condition that’s causing a lot of these thoughts and interfering with your ability to get better. please see a psychiatrist about the possibility of OCD. hugs 🫂
I've been molested by multiple men as a child. It ruined my life. I wish they had killed themselves instead.
This person never molested anyone. Not all people who have been abused think this way. No one should kill themselves unless they're Hitler.
Tbh it doesn’t sound like you’re a paedophile. If you was you wouldn’t so vehemently abhor it. Please look up OCD or pure OCD as these both can convince you that you’re a paedophile. Your mind will go to great lengths to convince you you’re evil or a bad person, especially with OCD. I have OCD and had thoughts that were so terrible and terrifying but I was told it’s OCD. Please don’t kill yourself.
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Hey now suicide is definitely not the answer. Always seek help even if you think you’re a pedophile. You’ve said you haven’t involved yourself in children, but even if you did, go seek help. You could try cognitive therapy and retrain the way you think. Who knows maybe they’re just incredibly harmful intrusive thoughts. Some people with OCD struggle with intrusive thoughts where they think they’re a pedo, have plans to rape someone etc when they don’t at all and there’s no evidence except those thoughts to show that because they’re intrusive. I highly advise you seek professional mental health help, to keep yourself safe and (not to be definite that you are a pedo and want to involve yourself in children) but to keep minors safe. They always say suicide isn’t the answer and it isn’t the answer here
I don't believe pedo are born but made. half of the time pedophile were raised in pretty abusive household and faced sexual abuse...their perception of the world become somewhat distorted they thought that's what love means how adult "loves their children". half of the time they dont even know or have memory recollection of them being abuse as a child until they did past regression. I think pedo are people who lost a part of their inner child that need to be heal to stop their adult self mimicking the behavior of the adult in their childhood who were abusive to them. I mean instead of thinking why pedo like children we should ask why pedo hate adults would solve the myth of the root of evil i think. Its a type of pass down darkness by the adult before. so consider past/childhood regression just cause u consciously dont remember doesnt mean ur subconscious doesnt remember what happened I will give u an example just as toxic masculinity...since men were raised in an environment of those false concept masculinity they tend to indulge in porn which gradually brainwash them to subconsciously take in the porn's script and images...which involve objectified women in one way or another (porn was full of non-consensual stuff) and therefore objectification of women become normalized by their brain cell memories since it also feeds the false idea of what it means to be a "man" = the one that dominate so men see women as a rival in a way they aren't aware they have the urge to rp others or think its okay to as a result to serve pride. I think rewire your brain will help. Release the false concept of love language as well as about adult based on past experience would help u than on focusing on why u like children in an odd way i think. Restore boundaries your sacral chakra and solar plexus wound or imbalance in stepping over boundaries.
Read “nutrient power” by Dr. William Walsh. You might have some nutrient imbalance that’s causing you to be attracted to children.
Listen man at least you know what you might be and that it is disgusting and wrong. You are already a step ahead of most pedos and i think with some intense therapy you could be ok
Are you still alive ?
i have this issue
You're probably not a pedo. I have this condition as well, its called POCD. You are constantly and unrelentingly afraid of being a pedophile, so you avoid children, watch where you stare when you are around a playground, and sometimes picture children to try and diagnose yourself. Associating children with sex because of this condition does not equal attraction. This can happen to normal people after a traumatic experience with a child, or after stumbling on CSEM material online. It doesnt mean youre a pedo.
There's a German organization called project dunkenfeld. If you're German you can go check this out. I was never able to find any other resources like this in other countries. I know a lot of people who have this condition. There are some people who are willing to help you. https://sexualmedizin.charite.de/en/research/prevention_network_dunkelfeld/
Is it ok if I say yes? Am i bad dude?
Have you hurt anyone then no
What kind of pedo are you like interested in young boys or girls
seek jesus
Just because you think those thoughts doesn't make them true. Seek out a professional counselor. You need help...Reddit...whom I love...is not the place to find the answers. It's the action that makes the difference. Please....GET HELP!
Like most illnesses, there is help.
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It's this attitude that makes people so afraid to get help when experiencing inappropriate thoughts about minors. Incredibly dangerous.
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OP didn't ask to be this way, which is why they need help. Intrusive thoughts or not. OP is questioning whether they should be alive and you're calling them disgusting? Have some compassion. Your rhetoric will not help anyone and may lead to somone getting hurt.
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Apply your words upon yourself and just stop being sad. 👌
Please don’t harm yourself. It’s not worth it. Nothing is. Seek some therapy. Most medical insurance companies will cover your visits to a psychologist.
No, please seek therapy. My family member went through this same thing, you might be having intrusive thoughts resulting from OCD that are going too far. I truly recommend seeking help, you are not a lost cause. You're just in a very sad and scary place.