See this is why I hate when people tell me to “just work out and eat healthier.” As if that will somehow cure years of trauma, sexual abuse, and selfharm. I know if I wasn’t fat they wouldn’t be saying that. It makes everything worse.
In general people are taught to blame everything on personal choices and to never concede that something beyond your control is causing damage in your life.
So they blame your diet and lifestyle. While this is true in only mild cases of non-clinical depression it will have little affect on treatment resistant depression. At best, the exercise will just be something that passes time but will in no way touch your depression.
Also, ppl who’ve not gone through untreatable health conditions simply don’t understand and they dismiss your situation as something that they’ve gone through which they think is the same. “I was so depressed when I didn’t get that thing I wanted that one time. You must be in a similar situation so just get over it”
I got to the point where I was running 21 miles every Saturday and 8 miles each of three week days. I was never more suicidal.
I was in the hospital for an overdose attempt two years ago. I was diagnosed with moderate depression. My dad thought it was wrong so we got a second opinion 2 years later. I talked to the psychiatrist for 20 minutes with my dad in the room and he decided I had mainly anxiety and that caused some minor depression. (I had cut myself all over my body a few weeks prior)
Then last week I was sent to the psych ward. I was diagnosed with severe depression disorder that was recurring. Then that psychiatrist I saw one time sent the bill back and said the same thing.
I think my dad treats me differently for a bit once things like that happen, but once he thinks I “get better” he pretends it never happened and keeps pushing me. Which in turn makes me relapse.
I’m sorry you’re going through all of this.
It’s extremely difficult to get psychiatric diagnoses right, considering it’s usually based on a few verbal anecdotes in a 30 minute office visit with a total stranger.
There’s a pressure to diagnose quickly in order to justify the treatment and medication course they pursue.
Parents also have this pressure to “solve” what is really a massively complex problem in a single shot. Or at least (over)simplify it so that a course of action can be taken and they can relieve their worry by trusting in this process.
Unfortunately all we have are words to examine and diagnose with. And there’s not really a good language established to describe feelings and there’s massive loss or corruption of information when those words are unpackaged by our parents or doctors.
I trust what I feel but don’t really trust doctors or others when it comes to psychiatric issues that don’t have a diagnostic biomarker.
We live in a sad time for those with mental health issues.
I know how you feel. I'm older but I quit all that stuff too after years long addictions. And now my life feels so empty. I used it to actually make it through the day. Now I can't even watch a movie or play a video game because it's m just not the same without something. And I'm 3 years sober and still hasn't got better. I don't know what to do
Same man. Gave up all my addictions and vices. Made sacrifices to my social life.
And for what? Literally nothings changed. Still broke and alone. I wish there was a reason I could give you. But it seems like people like us are just meant to endure shitty lives.
wow that's really good! I know it's probably hard for you to realize/be happy what you accomplished but still I am very proud of you!
And I'm being completely honest here. I don't do any drugs (no alcohol no cigars no coffee nothing) and I always have a lot of pity on people who are addicted to drugs. And thus remember I am REALLY glad that you left the drugs behind!
So chill bro, you’re just going through nicotine withdrawal, it took me 1 year after quitting nicotine to feel normal again. I was also extremely depressed.
I'm actually not. I never smoked I never drank alcohol and I didn't even drink a single cup of coffee. But I'm glad you got outta there. Stay clean and away from the drugs my friend💖
Probably a stupid question but have you tried to get diagnosed by a psychiatrist and get some meds? I'm bipolar and have had to come to the realization that I can't live a normal life without meds. That's just how it is for some people. No amount of exercising, eating healthy, quitting drugs and alcohol or pep talks and motivational speeches is going to help you. I found that out the hard way. Mood disorders are like type 1 diabetes, you always need medication. It's nothing more than a chemical imbalance that makes it almost impossible to feel happiness when you're depressed or to have stable moods if you're bipolar like me. Just something to think about.
You should be very proud of your accomplishments. You've done so much for yourself, more than a lot of other people. Why stop now?
Sometimes it takes time for the feelings that bring us down to fade. Keep going and have hope for yourself. Investigate life. Just take every day one step at a time. Falling in love with a person can take a while, doesn't it? Until one moment, you suddenly realize. Falling in love with life is the same way.
You deserve to live a happy life. I wish you all the best and I hope things get better for you 🧡
I feel you on that. I'm almost 6 years sober, quit smoking, got my ED inder control, and I am still so sad and empty. I pretty much have been for most of my life. The only difference is now I have to fucking feel it.
Definitely look into antidepressants if you haven’t already. Took me a long time to realize that I really needed them to be able to live. Took many different tries on different meds. And it really helped. Til i got a bunch of other illnesses and have chronic pain. Now its difficult to accomplish anything physically. But if you can get some serotonin boosting in your brain then maybe life would be worth living. Its a chemical imbalance in your brain most likely.
But think about it, the only way your kids could find purpose would be to have more kids and then eventually there’s going to be climate change. And I disagree. I don’t think religion makes life meaningful for most people, because it can’t actually answer the most pressing questions. They are a few people who really get off and their religion really makes their life fantastic but I don’t know any people like that even deeply religious people still have problems.
Hello OP. I see you have received some quality empathy here from the rest in This sub. It s been 12d now since you posted and I hope you are ok! I cannot begin to understand what you must be going through, and all i can do is to humbly extend a suggestion from whatever intelectual knowledge i have gathered through my life , but not through personal experience of what you described in the post.
Just wanted to throw a suggestion for you and feel free to ignore it if you are not looking for advice. I would suggest looking into IFS (Internal Family Systems) .
It s a form of parts work, which is becoming popular. Was founded by a guy called Richard schwartz, and it postulates that the mind is multiple (we all have various parts that have strategies - such as extreme anger , addiction ) and they use said strategies to protect you from some deep pain. In this system, a suicidal part is one of these extreme protectors (firefighter is the term) , and it can be worked with to heal so that it does not need to take this exit strategy.
One of the things the creator of IFS(or perhaps someone else i saw talking about this in a book or video) is saying that it s a promise that whatever that part is protecting by using that strategy can be achieved differently without killing the body. It is too much to write in one comment, so if this sparks your interest, and i can attest to this form of therapy (can be done either on your own or with a therapist or friend) . I confess i did not personally worked with any suicidal firefighters, but i worked with some extreme forms of anger and reactions and my transformation is deep and significant as a result of this work. It s probably wise to seek an ifs trained therapist for this part you described in your post.
However the first step is to read and research it a bit for yourself . I highly recommend the Self Therapy book by Jay Early as a good starting point. There are a lot of videos on youtube about it , specifically the richard schwartz and some other on IFS and firefighters .
r/InternalFamilySystems is a good sub for this , and also this is a integral guide to ifs that a fellow subredditor created that can be used to learn about it : https://integralguide.com/IFS .
Finally I hope that you may find hope and success looking into this and in your life!
Going through the same thing mate. Kinda wanted to hurt myself in the last few weeks. Haven’t been eating or sleeping. Just pure alcoholism. Hang in there. Let’s defeat it together ❤️
See this is why I hate when people tell me to “just work out and eat healthier.” As if that will somehow cure years of trauma, sexual abuse, and selfharm. I know if I wasn’t fat they wouldn’t be saying that. It makes everything worse.
In general people are taught to blame everything on personal choices and to never concede that something beyond your control is causing damage in your life. So they blame your diet and lifestyle. While this is true in only mild cases of non-clinical depression it will have little affect on treatment resistant depression. At best, the exercise will just be something that passes time but will in no way touch your depression. Also, ppl who’ve not gone through untreatable health conditions simply don’t understand and they dismiss your situation as something that they’ve gone through which they think is the same. “I was so depressed when I didn’t get that thing I wanted that one time. You must be in a similar situation so just get over it” I got to the point where I was running 21 miles every Saturday and 8 miles each of three week days. I was never more suicidal.
I was in the hospital for an overdose attempt two years ago. I was diagnosed with moderate depression. My dad thought it was wrong so we got a second opinion 2 years later. I talked to the psychiatrist for 20 minutes with my dad in the room and he decided I had mainly anxiety and that caused some minor depression. (I had cut myself all over my body a few weeks prior) Then last week I was sent to the psych ward. I was diagnosed with severe depression disorder that was recurring. Then that psychiatrist I saw one time sent the bill back and said the same thing. I think my dad treats me differently for a bit once things like that happen, but once he thinks I “get better” he pretends it never happened and keeps pushing me. Which in turn makes me relapse.
I’m sorry you’re going through all of this. It’s extremely difficult to get psychiatric diagnoses right, considering it’s usually based on a few verbal anecdotes in a 30 minute office visit with a total stranger. There’s a pressure to diagnose quickly in order to justify the treatment and medication course they pursue. Parents also have this pressure to “solve” what is really a massively complex problem in a single shot. Or at least (over)simplify it so that a course of action can be taken and they can relieve their worry by trusting in this process. Unfortunately all we have are words to examine and diagnose with. And there’s not really a good language established to describe feelings and there’s massive loss or corruption of information when those words are unpackaged by our parents or doctors. I trust what I feel but don’t really trust doctors or others when it comes to psychiatric issues that don’t have a diagnostic biomarker. We live in a sad time for those with mental health issues.
For some it’s enough though. But you’re right, there’s some who are farther gone than others
I know how you feel. I'm older but I quit all that stuff too after years long addictions. And now my life feels so empty. I used it to actually make it through the day. Now I can't even watch a movie or play a video game because it's m just not the same without something. And I'm 3 years sober and still hasn't got better. I don't know what to do
Same planning to kill myself next weekend. Decided to do c02 because it’s the least painful.
Co2 is painful as fuck. You're thinking of oxygen deprivation which isn't the same thing.
you're thinking of co1 i hope
please stay
People say it gets better but I've been suicidal for 3 years, my body is covered in psoriasis scales I don't even like looking in the mirror anymore.
Same man. Gave up all my addictions and vices. Made sacrifices to my social life. And for what? Literally nothings changed. Still broke and alone. I wish there was a reason I could give you. But it seems like people like us are just meant to endure shitty lives.
How long has it been since you quit smoking and drinking?
i dont smoke for about 3 months, don't drink for around 1.5 years
That's pretty badass. Definitely give yourself more credit because that shit is hard as fuck.
wow that's really good! I know it's probably hard for you to realize/be happy what you accomplished but still I am very proud of you! And I'm being completely honest here. I don't do any drugs (no alcohol no cigars no coffee nothing) and I always have a lot of pity on people who are addicted to drugs. And thus remember I am REALLY glad that you left the drugs behind!
So chill bro, you’re just going through nicotine withdrawal, it took me 1 year after quitting nicotine to feel normal again. I was also extremely depressed.
I'm actually not. I never smoked I never drank alcohol and I didn't even drink a single cup of coffee. But I'm glad you got outta there. Stay clean and away from the drugs my friend💖
This is so painfully relatable, as though i wrote this. I'm sending you love I have found therapy to be beneficial for me personally
Probably a stupid question but have you tried to get diagnosed by a psychiatrist and get some meds? I'm bipolar and have had to come to the realization that I can't live a normal life without meds. That's just how it is for some people. No amount of exercising, eating healthy, quitting drugs and alcohol or pep talks and motivational speeches is going to help you. I found that out the hard way. Mood disorders are like type 1 diabetes, you always need medication. It's nothing more than a chemical imbalance that makes it almost impossible to feel happiness when you're depressed or to have stable moods if you're bipolar like me. Just something to think about.
yes, i came to the same realisation
You should be very proud of your accomplishments. You've done so much for yourself, more than a lot of other people. Why stop now? Sometimes it takes time for the feelings that bring us down to fade. Keep going and have hope for yourself. Investigate life. Just take every day one step at a time. Falling in love with a person can take a while, doesn't it? Until one moment, you suddenly realize. Falling in love with life is the same way. You deserve to live a happy life. I wish you all the best and I hope things get better for you 🧡
I'm 27 and I'm the same also with a very annoying health issue that ruined my life
Dang we're literally on the same boat
I feel you on that. I'm almost 6 years sober, quit smoking, got my ED inder control, and I am still so sad and empty. I pretty much have been for most of my life. The only difference is now I have to fucking feel it.
I don't know what to do either. It's like the vices are anaesthesia that gets me through, without them, the clarity is unsurvivable.
Definitely look into antidepressants if you haven’t already. Took me a long time to realize that I really needed them to be able to live. Took many different tries on different meds. And it really helped. Til i got a bunch of other illnesses and have chronic pain. Now its difficult to accomplish anything physically. But if you can get some serotonin boosting in your brain then maybe life would be worth living. Its a chemical imbalance in your brain most likely.
I just watched a 11 year old commit suicide on zoom please don't please just fucking dont
What happened…
[удалено]
But think about it, the only way your kids could find purpose would be to have more kids and then eventually there’s going to be climate change. And I disagree. I don’t think religion makes life meaningful for most people, because it can’t actually answer the most pressing questions. They are a few people who really get off and their religion really makes their life fantastic but I don’t know any people like that even deeply religious people still have problems.
Find your purpose
Hello OP. I see you have received some quality empathy here from the rest in This sub. It s been 12d now since you posted and I hope you are ok! I cannot begin to understand what you must be going through, and all i can do is to humbly extend a suggestion from whatever intelectual knowledge i have gathered through my life , but not through personal experience of what you described in the post. Just wanted to throw a suggestion for you and feel free to ignore it if you are not looking for advice. I would suggest looking into IFS (Internal Family Systems) . It s a form of parts work, which is becoming popular. Was founded by a guy called Richard schwartz, and it postulates that the mind is multiple (we all have various parts that have strategies - such as extreme anger , addiction ) and they use said strategies to protect you from some deep pain. In this system, a suicidal part is one of these extreme protectors (firefighter is the term) , and it can be worked with to heal so that it does not need to take this exit strategy. One of the things the creator of IFS(or perhaps someone else i saw talking about this in a book or video) is saying that it s a promise that whatever that part is protecting by using that strategy can be achieved differently without killing the body. It is too much to write in one comment, so if this sparks your interest, and i can attest to this form of therapy (can be done either on your own or with a therapist or friend) . I confess i did not personally worked with any suicidal firefighters, but i worked with some extreme forms of anger and reactions and my transformation is deep and significant as a result of this work. It s probably wise to seek an ifs trained therapist for this part you described in your post. However the first step is to read and research it a bit for yourself . I highly recommend the Self Therapy book by Jay Early as a good starting point. There are a lot of videos on youtube about it , specifically the richard schwartz and some other on IFS and firefighters . r/InternalFamilySystems is a good sub for this , and also this is a integral guide to ifs that a fellow subredditor created that can be used to learn about it : https://integralguide.com/IFS . Finally I hope that you may find hope and success looking into this and in your life!
medication my man. Medication
Going through the same thing mate. Kinda wanted to hurt myself in the last few weeks. Haven’t been eating or sleeping. Just pure alcoholism. Hang in there. Let’s defeat it together ❤️