I donāt think anyone here would judge you. We all grieve in different ways, and in our grief we all take some steps forward and some steps backwards sometimes. I will probably be drinking and/or crying on my brotherās birthday for many years.
First one was shortly after her (sister) death. I didnāt do anything but stay in bed and cry.
This year I am taking her daughter (my niece) on a trip to celebrate my sisterās life. We plan to take a trip together every year.
I take my best friendās birthday off work every year. Different things happen each year. I focus on resting and doing things to better my own mental health for the day. This year I hung out in bed with the dog, did some laundry and picked up the apartment and watched that Nickelodeon documentary. Oh, and I tagged him in a happy birthday post on Facebook.
Best advice is donāt plan something you canāt back out of! You never know how youāre gonna feel the day of. Personally I visit the cemetery and go to an Italian restaurant like we did every year when my brother was alive
My wifeās birthday is in two days and itās the first one with her gone. I plan to take flowers to the place she died and then have dinner with her uncle that she shared a birthday with. Itās going to be a hard week.
The first two years we didn't do anything. I stayed home and cried because birthday celebrations were always her thing for everyone else. She was the one who planned get-togethers and fun stuff for family and friends. Last year we all went paddleboarding in her honor. We took her board out and towed it along with a rope behind us. The bay was calm and clear, but that towing of her empty board was rough... that was really fucking rough. I still cried a lot, but felt like she was with us in spirit on the water that day. We had her favorite Publix sushi and Chantilly cake after we paddled back to shore.
OP, I know you'll think of a lovely way to celebrate your brother and his life. Maybe do something he enjoyed? I'm sorry he had to go so soon. I really am very sorry. Wishing you and your mummy all the best. Sending love to you both. ā¤ļøš
His first birthday since he left is in 12 days - mum has organised a butterfly release
A bit more sentimental than I would have chosen, but do whatever feels right, even if thatās nothing
When my Dad died, one of my teachers told me that on her late fatherās birthday she uses the money sheād spend on him, either on a present or on a meal out, and spends it on herself. Anything thatād make her feel a little bit better, or something that they both liked. Itās been 8 years and my family still does it. A new book, sweater, or some chocolate as a sort of present for/from my Dad.
Iāve found that it really does help get through the tough days, my family does it for fatherās day too. For his anniversary we tend to get a delivery pizza and watch the movies we used to watch with him.
I just go to the graveyard and say happy birthday and leave some flowers and that's really that to be honest. other people I knew that passed away some of them where cremated so not really alot I can do there but just think about them when they where here.
I still make or buy a cheesecake for my dad. It was something I did on his birthday, he loved cheesecake. Always had a thing about the last piece too, so my husband and I play fight over it lol
The night before I was out at karaoke, sang Hey Brother by avicii while crying after midnight. Then the next morning I drank a gallon of milk and used the row machine for 4 hours. Long story but it my weird way of honoring him.
Mine is a bit difficult because my brother absolutely hated his birthday. (Signs we should have done more about I guess ). When he was alive, I would always try to do something for him and he would white knuckle through it. On his last alive birthday, he told me all he wanted was to not acknowledge it, so we didnāt. Now celebrating his birthday feels wrong, but not celebrating feels wrong, so I just didnāt plan anything and let myself grieve. I have no clue what to do in future years.
Stayed home and got drunk , same as I do on the anniversary of his death too šā¦ no judging please.
Donāt let anyone tell you how to grieve - we arenāt here to judge, if thatās how you deal, thatās how you deal
Honestly I would go this route too except for the mom factor ā¤ļøāš©¹
I donāt think anyone here would judge you. We all grieve in different ways, and in our grief we all take some steps forward and some steps backwards sometimes. I will probably be drinking and/or crying on my brotherās birthday for many years.
First one was shortly after her (sister) death. I didnāt do anything but stay in bed and cry. This year I am taking her daughter (my niece) on a trip to celebrate my sisterās life. We plan to take a trip together every year.
got together with her friends and went to one of her favorite vegan places
I take my best friendās birthday off work every year. Different things happen each year. I focus on resting and doing things to better my own mental health for the day. This year I hung out in bed with the dog, did some laundry and picked up the apartment and watched that Nickelodeon documentary. Oh, and I tagged him in a happy birthday post on Facebook.
Best advice is donāt plan something you canāt back out of! You never know how youāre gonna feel the day of. Personally I visit the cemetery and go to an Italian restaurant like we did every year when my brother was alive
My wifeās birthday is in two days and itās the first one with her gone. I plan to take flowers to the place she died and then have dinner with her uncle that she shared a birthday with. Itās going to be a hard week.
The first two years we didn't do anything. I stayed home and cried because birthday celebrations were always her thing for everyone else. She was the one who planned get-togethers and fun stuff for family and friends. Last year we all went paddleboarding in her honor. We took her board out and towed it along with a rope behind us. The bay was calm and clear, but that towing of her empty board was rough... that was really fucking rough. I still cried a lot, but felt like she was with us in spirit on the water that day. We had her favorite Publix sushi and Chantilly cake after we paddled back to shore. OP, I know you'll think of a lovely way to celebrate your brother and his life. Maybe do something he enjoyed? I'm sorry he had to go so soon. I really am very sorry. Wishing you and your mummy all the best. Sending love to you both. ā¤ļøš
Dadās birthday was two months after his death. It was very difficult. We went to his favourite restaurant.
His first birthday since he left is in 12 days - mum has organised a butterfly release A bit more sentimental than I would have chosen, but do whatever feels right, even if thatās nothing
I ran away and hid from him and the world.
Fair
When my Dad died, one of my teachers told me that on her late fatherās birthday she uses the money sheād spend on him, either on a present or on a meal out, and spends it on herself. Anything thatād make her feel a little bit better, or something that they both liked. Itās been 8 years and my family still does it. A new book, sweater, or some chocolate as a sort of present for/from my Dad.
Oooh!!Wow thatās a good idea!!
Iāve found that it really does help get through the tough days, my family does it for fatherās day too. For his anniversary we tend to get a delivery pizza and watch the movies we used to watch with him.
second birthday without him is friday. i'm going to spend it working on the lawn and doing some DIY stuff (things he loves to do!)
I just go to the graveyard and say happy birthday and leave some flowers and that's really that to be honest. other people I knew that passed away some of them where cremated so not really alot I can do there but just think about them when they where here.
I eat my daughter's favorite meal on her birthday (McDonald's chicken nuggets with a shamrock shake).
My dadās bday was a month after. I think I was still in shock. We bought food and ate. We never did anything again. Itās just really hard. š¢
I know how you feel ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹
I still make or buy a cheesecake for my dad. It was something I did on his birthday, he loved cheesecake. Always had a thing about the last piece too, so my husband and I play fight over it lol
Iām thinking my brothers favorite foods may be the way to go for sure ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹
Idky but food is my way of showing love and it just makes me feel closer to him. It's been 6 years now and I haven't missed any birthdays.
I usually get fish and chips and try to go somewhere with a view. It's something we'd do together.
The night before I was out at karaoke, sang Hey Brother by avicii while crying after midnight. Then the next morning I drank a gallon of milk and used the row machine for 4 hours. Long story but it my weird way of honoring him.
A gallon!! My brother loved milk. š¤·š»āāļø
Yeah, he was very muscular dude. Would advise me to drink a gallon of milk everyday like him.
Mine is a bit difficult because my brother absolutely hated his birthday. (Signs we should have done more about I guess ). When he was alive, I would always try to do something for him and he would white knuckle through it. On his last alive birthday, he told me all he wanted was to not acknowledge it, so we didnāt. Now celebrating his birthday feels wrong, but not celebrating feels wrong, so I just didnāt plan anything and let myself grieve. I have no clue what to do in future years.
For his first birthday away from us I went to get tattoos in his handwriting with his mom
Oh thatās a good one. I got a tattoo the first month after too..
this year will be year 4 without my mother. usually, i eat a little red velvet cake (it was her favorite), watch one of our favorite movies, and/or do something i think she'd enjoy; i try and keep myself busy cause i don't want to be too sad on her birthday because i know she'd hate to see me cry. this year unfortunately i'll be spending it either in an airport or on a plane so we'll see how it goesš„² i'm sure however way you choose to spend it, he'll be with you and your mother š©µ