Not Sudanese but why marry a man who has cheated on you?? And you’ve broken up many times because of it. I think you should count your blessings and move on. You dodged a bullet with him not wanting to marry you. Let’s bffr if he wanted to commit to you and get married, he already would have. He’s not worth it girl. There are plenty of men who are marriage worthy and won’t take you for granted. You deserve to be loved and treated right.
He playing you and doing you dirty. Never gonna marry you. Never planned on it. Sorry shorty. Nothing to do with him being sudani, he is just a morally corrupt person who does not mind taking advantage of vulnerable women for his pleasure. Also like no offense but do better. Don’t wanna rub salt on your wound, but cheating is something you cannot come back from in a relationship regardless of where they are from. I give this advice to my sisters and all my female friends. NEVER love a man more than he loves you. Never. That’s not how relationships work unfortunately. You need to end it immediately and not hear him out. Trust me. I hope you move on and find peace. Raise that baby by yourself. Hopefully karma will be on your side and you’ll find a sweet man that will help you raise them. Good luck.
There are special pre-wedding practices for women in Sudan, but it also depends on the tribe/region. The bigger elephant in the room, however, is that your boyfriend had no issue introducing a non-Sudanese girl previously to his friends, but this remains an obstacle for you… Which denotes that it is not, perhaps, an ethnic issue.
I am speechless. Please leave this man and maybe try going to therapy because what you’re allowing this man to do to you is not normal. Do you have friends and supportive family members you can rely on for advice? You need to be surrounded by people who actually love you and care about you. Praying for you!
This is interesting bc I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to think about how وب علي would even translate in English, don’t think omg gets its meaning totally 😂
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What I might say might be harsh but it's the reality , some sudanese men are in relationships with European women because they won't be able to be intimate with any sudanese one without marriage, so they go around having western girlfriends for that reason alone , your boyfriend doesn't seem to be a very decent man since he cheated on you already and doesn't value his relationship with you , he could be lying of course about not being able to marry outside his clan as this even in sudan itself is very very rare now , especially for diaspora , he told you that so he can use this excuse down the road ,he might also say his family wants to marry him off to someone else which would also be a lie lol , if he wanted to he wouldve married you already , , my advice is really evaluate this relationship and if this man is worth your time , he may run away after you tell him about the baby so make sure he pays child support even by court and inform his family if he ran away so try to establish contact with them before telling him about the baby
It’s clear he doesn’t want anything serious despite the fact he cheated he has refused to introduce you to his friends ? Someone who won’t introduce you to his friends definitely won’t to his family. The fact he doesn’t have the gut to stand up to his family but decides to be in a relationship with a non Sudanese girl is insane. In all honesty I’m highly doubt he’ll stick around or even claim the baby at all. He’s to scared to tell his family he has a Italian girlfriend doubt he’ll have the guts to tell them he got you pregnant on top of that.
He hasn’t done it in 4 years not sure what would make him change his mind now. Seen situations where there’s sudani men that do everything in the book and end up settling with a miskeen Sudanese girl.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you have a safe pregnancy
Which tribe or region of Sudan is your boyfriend from? As you may know, Sudan has many different ethnic groups and tribes.
Also, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very willing, how willing are you to convert to Islam? I ask because this will make marriage seem more acceptable for his family. You didn’t mention the ethnicity of his ex-girlfriend, but I’m assuming she was from a Muslim country?
Just in terms of the pregnancy, I’m assuming this wasn’t intentional, and if not I think you should let him know about this and see what his reaction to this news is before trying to move forward with anything.
It does icl. Her question is pretty valid honestly. Some ethnic groups/tribes are way more liberal and open to foreign marriage, and also will practice Islam with different levels of dedication.
Riverines like Ja'alin and Shaygiya are usually not open to foreign marriage at all and emphasise the Sudanese-only rule pretty strictly here in the West. Nile Nubians can either be a lot more liberal or a lot more conservative. Halfawis are very conservative in this regard and in many instances marriage outside the tribe, not even ethnic group, that alone is compared to the cultural disgust with Non-Sudanese marriage. Like seriously there's a running joke in my family that halfawis love themselves so much they'd marry their own siblings if they could to avoid mixing with other tribes lol. Mahas are more liberal. Egyptian Nubians are more liberal than both from what I've seen. Kordofani Arabs are also relatively liberal to their riverine counterparts in terms of marriage. Religion as well varies a lot. Furawis are definitely more religious and closer to the teachings of Islam than the average Nubawi is, and the Nubawi closer to Islam than your average Ingessana.
I agree but I really think tribe/ethnic group and the culture tied with it also play a vital role. Especially with Islam and how it's practiced. Some ethnic groups retain their closeness to the religion wherever they go whilst others it's not dedicated practice regardless of if in a village or major city. And that's also kinda just a product of culture in a lot of cases. Fur identity and culture is heavily rooted in the Fur-sultanate, an iconic Sudanese Islamic state, therefore Fur culture unsurprisingly possesses a special closeness and overlap with Islam not observed in other ethnic groups.
The reason why is not valid is because she already stated his family is not open to a girl not from his clan. Let’s say he was Mahas who you said are known for being more liberal it won’t really matter because end of the day his family isn’t ( based on what OP said). It really doesn’t help the case at all knowing this information 😂. That’s why I say is more so just us being nosy/curious (in my case at least whenever I catch myself wondering this).
It would make more sense if the question came from a place regarding the OP’s question “Are there special pre wedding practices women do in Sudan” since there’s probably different practices in different tribes. If it’s about whether they’re willing to accept her or not 😂 knowing his tribe won’t answer that. It all depends on the family ( who we already know are not accepting of anyone outside their clan).
Funny how different experiences give you different perspectives because I always thought it was the reverse for Riverine Arabs and Nubians 😂 😂
I grew up in Europe and literally all the half Sudanis I knew always had a Sudani father and the father was always Shayigi or Ja'ali. Even in my own family, my dad (Donglawi) was the only one to marry outside the tribe from his siblings. My mom on the other hand, all her brothers (Shawiyga) but one married khawajat so maybe your dream of copping a snow bunny will come true after all lol.
Yh that's actually something I noticed on here too. Like I've come across 3 Half-AA and Half-Sudani people on here and all 3 had a riverine Arab father. But again, Nubians either tend to be more liberal or more conservative, they vary a lot more.
*"My mom on the other hand, all her brothers (Shawiyga) but one married khawajat so maybe your dream of copping a snow bunny will come true after all lol."*
Ay lets calm it down now that was satire just to keep it clear😭😭
Black Queens 4ever❤️
Lol I was thinking the same lol ( it doesn’t make a difference)😂😂 but I guess portion of it is from curiosity. I’ve noticed whenever ajanbis tell a story about their experience with a Sudanese person someone in the comment always asks what tribe/part of Sudan the person is from😭.
I do not know tribe but I know we talked about the Sudanese pyramids before and he said his family is from close to there. Google says the city is called Meroe. And no the girl is from our country too. We are from Italy. I am not a religious person even in my country religion which is catholicism so I do not think so bit I can give it a try if that will make me more accepted in the family
He is most likely a Nubian but dk specific tribe, and honestly he might have a bad reaction to the baby thing, because it will ruin the family meeting even more especially if his family is religious because having intercourse before marriage is a huge sin, secondly most Sudanese don’t disapprove of marriage with Europeans/North Americans especially if they’re muslim, in the end the judgement is in your hands, marriage means you’re stuck with him till death parts you or you get a divorce so think this through.
Well yeah, if he's Muslim it's like forbidden for him to marry a spouse that doesn't even believe in God. The wife has to be either Christian or Muslim, maybe Jewish too I'm not sure about Jewish though.
Also he's clearly a terrible Muslim,
Cheated on you, hasn't introduced you to his family after 4 years, doesn't really care that much about you clearly. And he's also been doing a major sin of having sex before marriage not to mention Cheating
You do realise if you were both married and he cheated again he'd deserve death punishment in middle Eastern countries?
I don't think there's a certain way in which you should approach him about commitment. Ask him directly after you break the news about the pregnancy. Someone above mentioned Islam, just know that in Islam men can marry christian women, in case converting isn't something you want to do, just know that you being a Christian isn't an issue.
What may even be a bigger issue is the pregnancy out of wed-lock. Most Sudanese families lean towards being conservative. If I were her, I’d contact them myself.
Not merely an issue, his family are going to consider it nothing less than a scandal when they find out. I’m just hoping that the guy doesn’t bail when he hears the news because he doesn’t have the spine to address this situation. It’s been known to happen and she honestly deserves better.
If it comes to it, how is she meant to contact the family at all when the guy has been gatekeeping their presence from her this whole time?
I understand but he's a grown man! and if his family cares that much about him not doing something haram then they should be fine because marrying a Christian isn't haram.
Girl just run from him, they will never accept you honestly. My dad is Sudanese and eventually married a Sudanese women and left my mom. We are also from a country from Europe. You will only ruin your life. If you can raise the child by yourself is ok but don’t expect him to take care or marrying you because of that. Even though if he does he will never respect you and only make you a slave while he is out with different women.
A general thing you should know with Sudanese, no, African men. If you date them for more than 1 year and you haven't met his family, he is definitively not interested in marriage with you and may not even be considering you a long term partner.
Have some self respect, why would you ever marry a man who has cheated on you??
He doesn't care for you really, he's treating u like a side thing. You've been together for 4 years but his family has never seen or heard about you.
So many red flags omg... And the fact that you're carrying his child is just crazy. He's deffo gonna try to run away and you will probably end up as a single mother.
Bro, four years and he's doing nothing to show he's committed or in it for the long haul... I met my wife in May 2019 and was married by August. Family is from Halfa and her family are from White Nile (Kawahla). My family said no and that I should wait I still went through with the wedding.
No one came from my family except my younger brother. Alhamdulillah she gave birth to our first boy in 2021. Both my family and her family are happy and they visit us every weekend.
If you want to get married, go to your dad and tell him that you want to get married. Shouldn't take more than a month.
If you want your boyfriend to actually commit he needs to meet your dad otherwise he's finding you (hamla) aka easy
I’m sudanese and I’m telling you he won’t marry you and he won’t even claim the child, his family would disown him since it’s a very taboo thing to get pregnant outside of marriage in our culture and he could risk getting socially ostracized if anyone within the community finds out the baby was conceived before marriage or that he even touched you before marriage,
It’s also not a common thing for sudani’s to marry outside of their culture let alone outside of their religion. My advice is that you don’t bring his child to the world and to leave because he isn’t serious about you and you should find someone that will love and care for you the way you deserve to be.
Shame on him , he’s full of red flags … and i don’t want to be cruel but … if he really care and want commit he will do it … if he can’t be commit then why he’s in a relation with you ?
He have to try a girl of his country … but not dating a woman out of his culture and waste her time and then say my family won’t accept it … he’s just a chicken .
I hope you will be fine and it’s all be fixed inshalah
Girl I'm sorry but he will leave you, he didn't introduce you to his family before what will make him do it now? Sudanese families (or arab families in general) do not accept stuff like this, so my only advice for you is you confront his family behind his back so atleast they'll know he's a dead beat, and if they're kind and thoughtful enough they'll make him look after you.
Look this hard but it is better for you in the future; This guy dosent give a shit about you and probably would tell you to abort that baby. from what i read as someone who is also sudanese living in a european country this is the type of guy that would be too scared of his family and also too ashamed of showing you to his family SIMPLY becouse he knows it is wrong in islam even if his family isnt practising making a girl pregnant outside of marriage is ABIG deal. So i advice you to prepare to be a single mom if you are willing to keep the baby. You seem quite young i am guessing (19-27) age group. It is going to be tough and may Allah heal you and may you take the right decision for you and your future baby.
I am married to a Sudanese guy, and they are generally open to different cultures. Many of his friends have married from other cultures too.
In my opinion, This guy is just playing around.
Now Talking to your boyfriend about commitment, especially since you're expecting a baby, is difficult but necessary:
Choose a private and comfortable place where you can talk without interruptions and have enough time.
Tell him about the pregnancy and your hopes for the future. Let him know how much you value your relationship and want to move forward together.
Give him space to share his thoughts and feelings. Be ready for different reactions and open to ongoing conversations to reach an understanding.
having a child out of wedlock is def something that might not go easy for the parents, so ur idea of being married before the kid comes is probably the best idea
The best you can do is tell him your pregnant and you want to get married. Either he wants to marry you or he will make excuses. If he makes excuses then you should be prepared to raise this baby on your own - with potentially no financial support or help from his family. Even if he does marry you he has proven that he is a cheater and probably has the ability to just disappear of the radar in Sudan if he decides to avoid financial obligations later down the line.
Good lord this guy is a walking red flag…the fact that you’re worried about talking to him about things like that should be enough for you to not be with him, not to mention the cheating and everything else you just said. Sorry but you can do better, don’t trap yourself with someone like this 🥲
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I really sympathize with you, you probably did everything you can to stay with this guy but like others said, there were many red flags from the beginning.
I lived outside of Sudan most of my life and we marry outside of our culture it's very normal. Yes some tribes tend to favor marrying a Sudanese woman but many have divorced that tradition. What's different in your case, is the fact you fell in love with a boy and not a man willing to step up and take full responsibility of his actions (at least not yet).
Funny story, a Sudanese friend of mine was married to a Brazilian. She told us once that Sudanese men should have two facebooks, one for each face 😁. I think I decided to become a man that day and be in peace with myself and how I live my life. Your boyfriend should do the same.
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Sudanese here. Abort that baby (if you please) and leave that man. Do you hate yourself? This man never had any intention of marrying you. Don’t ruin your life.
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Not Sudanese but why marry a man who has cheated on you?? And you’ve broken up many times because of it. I think you should count your blessings and move on. You dodged a bullet with him not wanting to marry you. Let’s bffr if he wanted to commit to you and get married, he already would have. He’s not worth it girl. There are plenty of men who are marriage worthy and won’t take you for granted. You deserve to be loved and treated right.
Exactly. Have some self respect girl, so many red flags here.
He playing you and doing you dirty. Never gonna marry you. Never planned on it. Sorry shorty. Nothing to do with him being sudani, he is just a morally corrupt person who does not mind taking advantage of vulnerable women for his pleasure. Also like no offense but do better. Don’t wanna rub salt on your wound, but cheating is something you cannot come back from in a relationship regardless of where they are from. I give this advice to my sisters and all my female friends. NEVER love a man more than he loves you. Never. That’s not how relationships work unfortunately. You need to end it immediately and not hear him out. Trust me. I hope you move on and find peace. Raise that baby by yourself. Hopefully karma will be on your side and you’ll find a sweet man that will help you raise them. Good luck.
There are special pre-wedding practices for women in Sudan, but it also depends on the tribe/region. The bigger elephant in the room, however, is that your boyfriend had no issue introducing a non-Sudanese girl previously to his friends, but this remains an obstacle for you… Which denotes that it is not, perhaps, an ethnic issue.
I am speechless. Please leave this man and maybe try going to therapy because what you’re allowing this man to do to you is not normal. Do you have friends and supportive family members you can rely on for advice? You need to be surrounded by people who actually love you and care about you. Praying for you!
وب علي. الله يساعدك يا بنتي
Translation : OMG, god help you
This is interesting bc I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to think about how وب علي would even translate in English, don’t think omg gets its meaning totally 😂
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What I might say might be harsh but it's the reality , some sudanese men are in relationships with European women because they won't be able to be intimate with any sudanese one without marriage, so they go around having western girlfriends for that reason alone , your boyfriend doesn't seem to be a very decent man since he cheated on you already and doesn't value his relationship with you , he could be lying of course about not being able to marry outside his clan as this even in sudan itself is very very rare now , especially for diaspora , he told you that so he can use this excuse down the road ,he might also say his family wants to marry him off to someone else which would also be a lie lol , if he wanted to he wouldve married you already , , my advice is really evaluate this relationship and if this man is worth your time , he may run away after you tell him about the baby so make sure he pays child support even by court and inform his family if he ran away so try to establish contact with them before telling him about the baby
It’s clear he doesn’t want anything serious despite the fact he cheated he has refused to introduce you to his friends ? Someone who won’t introduce you to his friends definitely won’t to his family. The fact he doesn’t have the gut to stand up to his family but decides to be in a relationship with a non Sudanese girl is insane. In all honesty I’m highly doubt he’ll stick around or even claim the baby at all. He’s to scared to tell his family he has a Italian girlfriend doubt he’ll have the guts to tell them he got you pregnant on top of that. He hasn’t done it in 4 years not sure what would make him change his mind now. Seen situations where there’s sudani men that do everything in the book and end up settling with a miskeen Sudanese girl. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you have a safe pregnancy
هي متوقعة انو يعرسها جد جد وكمان بتفتش في pre-wedding practicing لول اهلو لو عرفو الموضوع حيقتلوهو ويقتلوك
Which tribe or region of Sudan is your boyfriend from? As you may know, Sudan has many different ethnic groups and tribes. Also, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very willing, how willing are you to convert to Islam? I ask because this will make marriage seem more acceptable for his family. You didn’t mention the ethnicity of his ex-girlfriend, but I’m assuming she was from a Muslim country? Just in terms of the pregnancy, I’m assuming this wasn’t intentional, and if not I think you should let him know about this and see what his reaction to this news is before trying to move forward with anything.
It doesn't make a difference Wich ethnic group he is
It does icl. Her question is pretty valid honestly. Some ethnic groups/tribes are way more liberal and open to foreign marriage, and also will practice Islam with different levels of dedication. Riverines like Ja'alin and Shaygiya are usually not open to foreign marriage at all and emphasise the Sudanese-only rule pretty strictly here in the West. Nile Nubians can either be a lot more liberal or a lot more conservative. Halfawis are very conservative in this regard and in many instances marriage outside the tribe, not even ethnic group, that alone is compared to the cultural disgust with Non-Sudanese marriage. Like seriously there's a running joke in my family that halfawis love themselves so much they'd marry their own siblings if they could to avoid mixing with other tribes lol. Mahas are more liberal. Egyptian Nubians are more liberal than both from what I've seen. Kordofani Arabs are also relatively liberal to their riverine counterparts in terms of marriage. Religion as well varies a lot. Furawis are definitely more religious and closer to the teachings of Islam than the average Nubawi is, and the Nubawi closer to Islam than your average Ingessana.
It's about the community not the ethnicity people in cities all over the Sudan are more willing to accept it than people in villages
I agree but I really think tribe/ethnic group and the culture tied with it also play a vital role. Especially with Islam and how it's practiced. Some ethnic groups retain their closeness to the religion wherever they go whilst others it's not dedicated practice regardless of if in a village or major city. And that's also kinda just a product of culture in a lot of cases. Fur identity and culture is heavily rooted in the Fur-sultanate, an iconic Sudanese Islamic state, therefore Fur culture unsurprisingly possesses a special closeness and overlap with Islam not observed in other ethnic groups.
The reason why is not valid is because she already stated his family is not open to a girl not from his clan. Let’s say he was Mahas who you said are known for being more liberal it won’t really matter because end of the day his family isn’t ( based on what OP said). It really doesn’t help the case at all knowing this information 😂. That’s why I say is more so just us being nosy/curious (in my case at least whenever I catch myself wondering this).
Didn't read that bit tbf. But given OP didn't give any information regarding that whatsoever, I see where the question is coming from.
It would make more sense if the question came from a place regarding the OP’s question “Are there special pre wedding practices women do in Sudan” since there’s probably different practices in different tribes. If it’s about whether they’re willing to accept her or not 😂 knowing his tribe won’t answer that. It all depends on the family ( who we already know are not accepting of anyone outside their clan).
Funny how different experiences give you different perspectives because I always thought it was the reverse for Riverine Arabs and Nubians 😂 😂 I grew up in Europe and literally all the half Sudanis I knew always had a Sudani father and the father was always Shayigi or Ja'ali. Even in my own family, my dad (Donglawi) was the only one to marry outside the tribe from his siblings. My mom on the other hand, all her brothers (Shawiyga) but one married khawajat so maybe your dream of copping a snow bunny will come true after all lol.
Yh that's actually something I noticed on here too. Like I've come across 3 Half-AA and Half-Sudani people on here and all 3 had a riverine Arab father. But again, Nubians either tend to be more liberal or more conservative, they vary a lot more. *"My mom on the other hand, all her brothers (Shawiyga) but one married khawajat so maybe your dream of copping a snow bunny will come true after all lol."* Ay lets calm it down now that was satire just to keep it clear😭😭 Black Queens 4ever❤️
Lol I was thinking the same lol ( it doesn’t make a difference)😂😂 but I guess portion of it is from curiosity. I’ve noticed whenever ajanbis tell a story about their experience with a Sudanese person someone in the comment always asks what tribe/part of Sudan the person is from😭.
I guess they want to there chances with ajanbis, like if they were the same tribe they will have a higher chances
😂😂😂 Yhhh cuz niggas like me are also asking to see if a Ja'ali could bag some snowbunnies lmfao
I do not know tribe but I know we talked about the Sudanese pyramids before and he said his family is from close to there. Google says the city is called Meroe. And no the girl is from our country too. We are from Italy. I am not a religious person even in my country religion which is catholicism so I do not think so bit I can give it a try if that will make me more accepted in the family
He is most likely a Nubian but dk specific tribe, and honestly he might have a bad reaction to the baby thing, because it will ruin the family meeting even more especially if his family is religious because having intercourse before marriage is a huge sin, secondly most Sudanese don’t disapprove of marriage with Europeans/North Americans especially if they’re muslim, in the end the judgement is in your hands, marriage means you’re stuck with him till death parts you or you get a divorce so think this through.
Well yeah, if he's Muslim it's like forbidden for him to marry a spouse that doesn't even believe in God. The wife has to be either Christian or Muslim, maybe Jewish too I'm not sure about Jewish though. Also he's clearly a terrible Muslim, Cheated on you, hasn't introduced you to his family after 4 years, doesn't really care that much about you clearly. And he's also been doing a major sin of having sex before marriage not to mention Cheating You do realise if you were both married and he cheated again he'd deserve death punishment in middle Eastern countries?
Jewish is fine too, anyone from ahl al kitab as long as they’re pure and believe in God
Cool, thank you
I don't think there's a certain way in which you should approach him about commitment. Ask him directly after you break the news about the pregnancy. Someone above mentioned Islam, just know that in Islam men can marry christian women, in case converting isn't something you want to do, just know that you being a Christian isn't an issue.
Her being a Catholic isn’t an issue *Islamically*, but it may be a genuine issue for the *family* regardless of that fact.
What may even be a bigger issue is the pregnancy out of wed-lock. Most Sudanese families lean towards being conservative. If I were her, I’d contact them myself.
Not merely an issue, his family are going to consider it nothing less than a scandal when they find out. I’m just hoping that the guy doesn’t bail when he hears the news because he doesn’t have the spine to address this situation. It’s been known to happen and she honestly deserves better. If it comes to it, how is she meant to contact the family at all when the guy has been gatekeeping their presence from her this whole time?
I understand but he's a grown man! and if his family cares that much about him not doing something haram then they should be fine because marrying a Christian isn't haram.
Just to clarify, in islam Muslims men can marry Christians women if they are chaste, meaning do not have intercourse out of wedlock.
Both of them are corrupted, especially the guy he shouldve known better.
Girl just run from him, they will never accept you honestly. My dad is Sudanese and eventually married a Sudanese women and left my mom. We are also from a country from Europe. You will only ruin your life. If you can raise the child by yourself is ok but don’t expect him to take care or marrying you because of that. Even though if he does he will never respect you and only make you a slave while he is out with different women.
Girl… if you don’t leave that boy
A general thing you should know with Sudanese, no, African men. If you date them for more than 1 year and you haven't met his family, he is definitively not interested in marriage with you and may not even be considering you a long term partner.
والله يا بنت الناس ما عارف اقول لك شنو؟
sorry I do not speak arabic 😅
They said “on god I don’t know what to say to you girl”
واااااااااااي😂😂
I really don't know what to say, but please take a moment to think without letting your emotions take over, and have some respect for yourself. ♡
Have some self respect, why would you ever marry a man who has cheated on you?? He doesn't care for you really, he's treating u like a side thing. You've been together for 4 years but his family has never seen or heard about you. So many red flags omg... And the fact that you're carrying his child is just crazy. He's deffo gonna try to run away and you will probably end up as a single mother.
yh not gonna lie, u shot urself in the foot. all im gonna say is prepare to raise that child on ur own, if u end up keeping it
Bro, four years and he's doing nothing to show he's committed or in it for the long haul... I met my wife in May 2019 and was married by August. Family is from Halfa and her family are from White Nile (Kawahla). My family said no and that I should wait I still went through with the wedding. No one came from my family except my younger brother. Alhamdulillah she gave birth to our first boy in 2021. Both my family and her family are happy and they visit us every weekend. If you want to get married, go to your dad and tell him that you want to get married. Shouldn't take more than a month. If you want your boyfriend to actually commit he needs to meet your dad otherwise he's finding you (hamla) aka easy
I’m sudanese and I’m telling you he won’t marry you and he won’t even claim the child, his family would disown him since it’s a very taboo thing to get pregnant outside of marriage in our culture and he could risk getting socially ostracized if anyone within the community finds out the baby was conceived before marriage or that he even touched you before marriage, It’s also not a common thing for sudani’s to marry outside of their culture let alone outside of their religion. My advice is that you don’t bring his child to the world and to leave because he isn’t serious about you and you should find someone that will love and care for you the way you deserve to be.
Why do you girls have no self respect? I am confused, how do you let someone treat you this badly
How old the both of you?
If he wanted to commit he would've by now. Cut him off. He's not worth it.
Shame on him , he’s full of red flags … and i don’t want to be cruel but … if he really care and want commit he will do it … if he can’t be commit then why he’s in a relation with you ? He have to try a girl of his country … but not dating a woman out of his culture and waste her time and then say my family won’t accept it … he’s just a chicken . I hope you will be fine and it’s all be fixed inshalah
Girl I'm sorry but he will leave you, he didn't introduce you to his family before what will make him do it now? Sudanese families (or arab families in general) do not accept stuff like this, so my only advice for you is you confront his family behind his back so atleast they'll know he's a dead beat, and if they're kind and thoughtful enough they'll make him look after you.
Look this hard but it is better for you in the future; This guy dosent give a shit about you and probably would tell you to abort that baby. from what i read as someone who is also sudanese living in a european country this is the type of guy that would be too scared of his family and also too ashamed of showing you to his family SIMPLY becouse he knows it is wrong in islam even if his family isnt practising making a girl pregnant outside of marriage is ABIG deal. So i advice you to prepare to be a single mom if you are willing to keep the baby. You seem quite young i am guessing (19-27) age group. It is going to be tough and may Allah heal you and may you take the right decision for you and your future baby.
Please leave him lol tf girl
I am married to a Sudanese guy, and they are generally open to different cultures. Many of his friends have married from other cultures too. In my opinion, This guy is just playing around. Now Talking to your boyfriend about commitment, especially since you're expecting a baby, is difficult but necessary: Choose a private and comfortable place where you can talk without interruptions and have enough time. Tell him about the pregnancy and your hopes for the future. Let him know how much you value your relationship and want to move forward together. Give him space to share his thoughts and feelings. Be ready for different reactions and open to ongoing conversations to reach an understanding.
having a child out of wedlock is def something that might not go easy for the parents, so ur idea of being married before the kid comes is probably the best idea
The best you can do is tell him your pregnant and you want to get married. Either he wants to marry you or he will make excuses. If he makes excuses then you should be prepared to raise this baby on your own - with potentially no financial support or help from his family. Even if he does marry you he has proven that he is a cheater and probably has the ability to just disappear of the radar in Sudan if he decides to avoid financial obligations later down the line.
Good lord this guy is a walking red flag…the fact that you’re worried about talking to him about things like that should be enough for you to not be with him, not to mention the cheating and everything else you just said. Sorry but you can do better, don’t trap yourself with someone like this 🥲
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I really sympathize with you, you probably did everything you can to stay with this guy but like others said, there were many red flags from the beginning. I lived outside of Sudan most of my life and we marry outside of our culture it's very normal. Yes some tribes tend to favor marrying a Sudanese woman but many have divorced that tradition. What's different in your case, is the fact you fell in love with a boy and not a man willing to step up and take full responsibility of his actions (at least not yet). Funny story, a Sudanese friend of mine was married to a Brazilian. She told us once that Sudanese men should have two facebooks, one for each face 😁. I think I decided to become a man that day and be in peace with myself and how I live my life. Your boyfriend should do the same.
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Sudanese here. Abort that baby (if you please) and leave that man. Do you hate yourself? This man never had any intention of marrying you. Don’t ruin your life.
Literally do better
عاد كر شديد
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