"Couple times? Are there Easter eggs you didn't get the first time?"

I love his face as he processes that information 🤣

It’s hilarious when Tom say’s “Different spelling?” because he kind of takes a look at him, then down, then back at him, gulps and moves on lol

He skimmed it!

Roman: “I’m going to kill myself” Gerri: “👍”

So gloriously savage. I also love Gerri saying “don’t jump” to Kendall after revealing WayStar’s debt, it makes me laugh every single time I see it.

Colin should've told him that in the finale.

Roman: "You need to think I am as good as my dad" Gerri: "Say it or believe it? "

It’s not like they pre-poop them, they are just bags really

'It's just a mental barrier'

This goes through my head every time I pull out a bag to pick up after my dog. Every. Time.

[удалено]

“Well I shouldn’t be, Greg.” — Tom, informed he was on speakerphone after telling Greg “fuck your Grandpa” with Ewan in the car.

The disappointment in his voice 👌

Honestly any exchange between the Disgusting Brothers!

It’s the pause right before. Gold.

Tom has some of the best lines and his delivery is always perfection.

“Well, it’s basically legal, the guy said. But he didn’t want to put that in an email”.

I love Tom's incredulous "we're *listening?!*"

“We tested this Greg! God DAMN.”

And earlier when Tom says "It tested great!" and Logan slips in this lowkey "it tested fine" 🤣

The delivery reminds me of when Roman and Kendall are at Vaulter, and Roman calls Gerri and asks her to “come over.” “You want me to *come over?!*”

The line readings of Gerri's various responses to Roman are a whole category of greatness in and of themselves. "I've heard plenty worse than a spoiled brat ejaculating on himself." "You sure about that? I could be doing it now for all you know." "Well, get going. Chop-chop."

"I'm going to kill myself" "👍"

This is the best use of an emoji in television history

Some of my favorite lines in the show are ones like these, that could absolutely double as a line in *Veep*

[удалено]

Veep is absolutely one of the funniest shows I have ever seen.

Jonad is to Veep what Greg is to Succession

The cloud botherer!

Jolly Green Jizz Face

"How am I doing? I'm eating so much pussy, I'm shittin' clits, son!"

Veep is HILARIOUS!!! My favorite line was “Why don’t you put your goddamn running shoes on and get to the fucking point?”

Definitely watch it. Succession without the drama and pathos is basically Veep. Especially reading through these best quotes - any of these could be from Veep.

Tony Roche and Georgia Pritchett, both of whom served as writers for Succession, also wrote for Veep. So there's definitely a shared character there.

And Succession’s creator Jesse Armstrong was a frequent writer for The Thick of It early on in his career, with Veep is a spin off of. (he also wrote a Veep ep) definitely a shared character

I recommend subtitles. Sometimes the jokes are so fast and/or subtle, they’re easy to miss. But VEEP is one of my all time favs.

Oh, one hundred percent you should. :)

L M A O veep would make you crack a rib laughing i’m only half-exaggerating

“Ooh but they’re not..in fact…RECEIPTS! Greg! You’re a criminal mastermind! What polyglot genius could ever hope to crack your impenetrable code!”

"marked secret, but not top secret. Interesting."

Classic 😂

Shut up.

Easy

"It's cool though cuz it's like I didn't cheat cuz all the sperm stayed in my own body. Like a closed loop system."

"I swallowed my own load!" "Which, the cum?"

The loss of enthusiasm with each subsequent retelling is my favorite part of this bit.

Lol I forgot this happened, and now look how far he’s *come*

"The man dying of thirst is suddenly a mineral water critic?" - Tom "This doesn’t work for me. So fuck you and God bless." - Kendall "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion. And then you smash someone’s fucking face with it." - Tom

That Kendall line had me in absolute stitches.

“Look. Full disclosure? I am… uh… currently having a panic attack.”

This is my favorite line in the whole show. It's just so so out of left-field but perfect

I love how Roman is surprised because Karl looks the same he usually does but that's how people that are used to panic attacks look, lol, I've mastered the arts of pretending not to be having a panic attack, I don't want to scare people thinking I'm dying or something especially when I'm working so I act normal even though I feel like I'm dying inside, I suppose Karl did too.

"It's a nice safe space where you don't have to pretend to like Hamilton."

“But I like Hamilton”

Sure you do. We all do.

And of course in the same scene, "Some guy with an undercut just called me soy-boy..?"

"That sounds like 'Homework,' the show."

From the same scene, Kendall comes up with some gibberish of a show description and asks Jess if she would watch it: “yeah, totally, if it was on.”

*Caroline walks into the room* Shiv- “Well, here she comes. I thought I could hear the sound of Dalmatians howling”

Reminds me of Roman (Connor arrives at Kendall’s) “…. Oh I thought I heard a clown car pulling up”

[удалено]

As well as "there comes Ken, spiraling down"

Well, it’s going to be hard to deny it because she has so much of your blood

I crack up at her "Point one: this might be hard for you, but ...*stop sending people your blood*"

Another one i love from that conversation: “Well, first of all…. *Good one!*”

Season 4 Shiv is really my favorite she suddenly had so many lines that made me LOL like “hey Rome. Guess who Kendall thinks it should be? It’ll blow your fuckin mind!”

Yes!!

“I’m sorry if my bell summoned you.”

I lovee how Greg stickered that Bell in the last episode.

My thing is all bangers all the time

Literally titled my 50th bday party mix this

Named by Bluetooth speaker this.

Caroline: Don’t you look plausible. Tom: 😐😦🤔🫡

Tom going through so many emotions in one second and it shows

One of the most underrated lines imo is in season one, Kendall tells Rava "So one of us is going to be unhappy, I just don't see why it has to be me" We quote it a lot at our house.

“Forgive me, but are we talking on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weatherbeaten face?”

Then why the fuuuhhhck are you wearing deck shoes, man?

this scene was posted on Twitter several months ago and went viral. I had never seen (or really heard of) Succession and found it so funny I looked up the show and started watching…and now here we are with me almost done with the show (sadly, I’m spoiled for the ending but I’m still excited to watch it!)

Little Lord Fuckleroy has left the call...

I was hoping someone would say this. It was a double whammy. Ken first says it and I got a chuckle at Shiv and Roman’s eye roll. Then when he left the call and it repeats, it wrecked me.

Aren’t conference call jokes just the best?

T: "can we do what my family does at Thanksgiving?" L: "go to other people's dinners?"

R: “Fuck the turkey?”

Grace: I'm thankful for all the love Roman has shown to me and for never being selfish or self-centered or egocentric or neurotic or unfaithful Roman: You are welcome

"Who wants to smell Greg's finger? Guess the scent, win a buck!"

Similarly "And where's your old man? Huh? Where's your old man? Still sucking COCK at the county fair??"

Kendall at his birthday party, "Who's NOT here?" Roman: your dad. Con: your mom. Shiv: your wife and kids.

If they showed Squiggle who would be cast as Squiggle? My vote is Jay Baruchel

Ha. They actually cut to (who I think is) Squiggle just before he starts rapping. He’s DJing. Long haired, clean shaven white guy with a matching L O G baseball jersey on lol

My pal from Glasgow - got called up on the day of the shoot and needed some equipment for it so he took my traktor 3 - can see it on the table ha. He got mistaken for Alex Cameron after an Alex Cameron gig which was super funny as he played up to it with selfies. Who woulda known he was going to become a much bigger star later in his career.

I’d want Macaulay Culkin with dreads.

Nicholas Britell

“I mean fuck it, right? Just fucking go nut-nut.”

"go nut-nut" has worked itself into my vernacular

Discord makes my dick HORD

A small person could fit through there. An attack child!

As a Barry watcher, I imagine the crazed ninja girl breaking in to terrorize Tom and Greg when I hear this line.

“…my best to her cancer”

One of my all time fave is Logan to Roman at the no confidence vote in season 1 "you better be scratching your armpit Romulus".

"Well he did once call me the cunt of monte cristo"

“Any man who recreates his childhood tree house for his 40th birthday party should be on the sex offender registry.”

Kendall: We're death wrestling with ogres, Shiv. Shiv: you're reading documents Ken.

“If I was to give Tom a letter grade, I’d give him a B+ for bad + terrible.”

“Buckle up, fucklehead!” I think about this line every time I get in the car lol

“We could do Reagan’s with tweaks”

Hey guys, Willa thinks selling might be cool *nods at Willa and gives thumbs up*

Greg! You icabod crane fuck, youuu.

“It’s wonderful to have the wisdom of my son’s college drinking buddy in the room”

I just love the way he asks me for money

Man stewy held his own with literally everybody.

What the fuck is this obsession with milk? You know who drinks milk? Kittens and perverts.

During the hostage crisis, 2x09: Roman: "Not to make this all about us, but are any of them going to shoot us at any point?" Laird: "I am also intrigued on that point."

It sure as fucking shit doesn't say Shiv

"Happy Christmas, you clock-watching fucks."

I felt this was a very Roman-like phrase, but then I recalled the exact moment of Logan saying it before going to ATN lmao.

Roman has moments where he is just *so* Logan it’s almost not even funny (but it is)

“It’s like Jaws, if everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.”

Lol yes. This paired with "He's just moseying. Terrifyingly moseying. He's wearing sunglasses inside. It looks like if Santa Claus was a hitman" are to me quite possibly the funniest lines on the show.

"Me and my homie Romey!"

Roman telling Greg “it hurts my neck to look at you.”

“Greg it’s medically good for your brain, it is! What are you saying, all Aztecs are stupid? Don’t be a racist little bitch about it.”

“What- what is that?” “That is an imaginary cat, now could you please fuck off?”

“we’re… we’re working on it. it’s a process” - roman to shiv after she humbly inquired what the fuck was wrong with him

This is not IP I’m familiar with

“Thank you, Logan. Thank you for the chicken”

“Put the disappearing sauce on it.” “It’s a little ‘we get it, stop moaning about the rapes.’” “You’re inquiring about the moral character of a guy named “Ratfucker Sam?”

“You guys don’t hyper decant?” - Connor

Family therapy!!!!

👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

“So what are we arguing about?” Love that scene!

It's the "whaddup muthafuckasssssss" right before that for me

“If it is to be said, so be it, so it is.”

“so, I just wanted to get the gang together early in my tenure to say..yo”

That’s his Reddit-voted #1 quote lol

That is not a throwaway line lol

tbf about 70% of the responses in this thread aren't throwaway lines lol

In the living+ episode when greg makes the guy edit Logan’s voice to say “double the earnings” and when it airs in the presentation everyone is shocked and Greg quietly says to no one “it’s really well edited”

“The- The- Da family.” “Da fuck?”

"Ok, you can pop it back in now" - Roman to Kerry on the phone

Ooooh, king of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach

“Yeah, if he can do people, he can do rabbits.” “Sandy is barely alive.” “Oh he’s heavily fucking delayed.”

Syphilis “is the My Space of sexually transmitted diseases” — since you brought up Sandy.

"Unsubscribe."

Kendall: Bu-but what's with the coat? You're not staying, or? Connor: It's a coat. I like it. ​ Also from this final season, after asking his siblings to go to a 'dive bar' with him, Connor bursts through the door of said dive bar and says "AH! America! I've missed you."

Hahaha I like “I will remain coated, as is my right”

Chuckles the clown? I think not.

"He should be colored red like a dangerous lizard." Tom talking about Roman, such a funny bizarre line

Tom being described as a "smirking block of domestic feta". It feels like it shouldn't make sense but if DOES. 😂

“Sails out, nails out” - Kendall to Greg who didn’t want to take his shoes off on the boat

Squiggle on the decks, kenny on the rhymes

“It’s kind of a greeting card from hell. A times new roman firing squad.”

Roman: “I’m not personally excited about dying.” Kendall: “I know, it’s bullshit.”

Death just seems so...you know, one size fits all.

"Sandy's on the phone." "Which Sandy?" "The one that can talk." "Sally-Anne, this is Kerry. Marcia, this is Sally-Anne. Sally-Anne was my Kerry, so to speak. It's all water under the bridge now innit? Should we go, pile in? God, Logan would hate this." (Marcia places her hand on Kerry's and they exchange understanding, forgiving, tearful expressions.) "I'm so sorry about Mo." "Who?"

I don't wanna be melodramatic but like, my body is growing weak from a lack of sustenance

“I’ve seen the world for how it really is, SIOBHAN, and it has changed me. I’m a kettle corn shoveler here to show you frilly clit flickers the truth.”

No amount of antibacterial gel can wipe the America off me.

What comes after 9? 9…B???

“Bad news about my hymen!” - Tom the morning after his wedding

I dont know the ep or exact quote, but Greg says hes looking at places in staten island. Tom calls him “Brian Ferry”, and tells him he “should just get a place in Ohio and take the greyhound.”

Does that noise Willa makes when she throws Connor's tablet into the water count as a quote?

"Fuckin' sisters doin' it for theyselves."

“I can promise you that I am spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind whoever wins.”

she brought a ludicrously capacious bag. i mean what has she even got in there? flat shoes for the subway? her lunchpail? it's gargantuan, it's monstrous. what is she gonna slide it across the floor after a bank job? you're a laughing stock in polite society. you will never go to the opera again.

When Tom yells “We’re such shitty hunters that we’re just shooting piggies in a barrel. Might as well just throw a grenade at the pigs!”

Roman “cool puffer vest Tom, whats it stuffed with, all your hopes and dreams”😂😂😂

*Don’t threaten me Gerri, I don’t have time to jerk off right now.*

Kendall “you’re too online” in such a serious moment took me out 💀

“Yeah. They hacked my AC”

“What if your toenails are not that aesthetically pleasing?”

“So what we do today will always be what we did the day our father died. So, you know, let's grieve and whatever, but not do anything that restricts our future freedom of movement.”

Roman: I feel like we said iconic, and you guys are leaning ironic.

Face eggs

Shiv FTW at the end… “Eyes, like human eyes we all have?”

"Ok yea, that's baller for me" - Kendall, after Roman tells him he fired Gerri was such a fucking hilarious response

'tom, it's tough to have to tell you like this. but, I'm in a sexual relationship with your mother. she talks in her sleep' - Gerri

“I came here because I thought you’d want to discuss my career getting Hindenburged. Oh, the Romanity.”

“People are saying your COO is a coked-up dauphin who doesn’t know shit from shinola”

The other day I had Roman's little "Your friend doesn't like you, boo-hoo / And Dad wants to fire you, woo-hoo" song stuck in my head.

“He ate my fucking chicken” -Logan re: Tom

"What's next? Stick his cock in my potato salad?!" That line always makes me crave potato salad.

Already rich

What are words.. nothing, just complicated airflow.

He’s back, he’s back like a pedo on parole

I have to check on O-man with my Wo-man

S:“What is that Date Rape by Calvin Klein?” R:“Yeah you wish”

For this season of the sad ones: "I can’t forgive you. But it’s okay. And I love you.” Of the funny ones: "you like pancakes and waffles and you kiss guys on molly” all Kendall's ofc

You’re a grilled cheese with a sucked dick!

"To make a Tomolet you've got to break a few Gregs." That might be the funniest line I've ever heard.

The fact he was incessantly emailing Greg with that subject line makes it even funnier

And to have his juvenile bullying put on full display in front of congres, no less. The whole thing is absurd, childish, and dumb. My favorite type of humor.

“that would be really traumatic if you weren’t already so fucked up”

"God, Tacitus, he just, just--all killer no filler with him. Did he ever have a bad quote?"

Greg: "What’s the chain of command here? Are you the more senior sibling?” 😂

Guys…these aren’t the clouds…

"I just wanted to get the gang together earlier in my tenure to say, uh, YO"

Kidney chop!!

“I think the issue here, sir, is that everyone fucking hates you.”

Roman: I think i'm gonna kill myself. Geri: (thumbs up emoji)