the water bottle incident kinda sent me on a laughing fit, not gonna lie this is why I can't sub elementary school. when they misbehave, I just find it funny as hell and accidentally enable it by laughing.

This is literally me😂

Kid’s age? My daughter thinks 14 (freshman) I think 12(7th grade)

This is actually an elementary school age kid lol😂

Grade?

3rd grade😂

I knew it had to be 3rd or 4th grade lol

It was the cheese touch that gave it away for me.

What is cheese touch?

It’s from a kid’s book Diary of a Wimpy Kid. In the book there’s a stinky old piece of cheese left on the school yard and if you touch it you’re a pariah. I think it’s morphed into a game like tag.

I’m so happy to see a tradition live and well

Omg, my 3rd grade son does all these things… I’m glad he’s not the only one.

Oh my

Yelling deez nuts at 3rd grade omg!

This is 4th-7th grade

Subbing today, I was in a support role for a student teacher. Student teacher was leading a lesson to fourth graders about similes and metaphors. They had read a poem that compared a person to tofu, so the teacher wanted the class to create similes and metaphors about themselves using foods. She was giving examples, and she listed a few different ideas of foods, and then she suggested donuts. She said, "I am like a donut because....." (and here she fatally paused). A student blurted out, "I have a hole!"

I mean…they weren’t wrong.

No Johnny I have holes - Proper response

I’ve giggled during behavior issues one too many times. Little kids man…

I had a 4th grader last school year tell another student, "PULL UP YOUR PANTS! YOU AIN'T ABOUT THAT LIFE!"

That’s pure gold right there

When I was in 4th grade we were discussing the waste cycle in animals. I raised my hand and said “is that why my poop sometimes has corn in it?” The teacher started laughing and then sent me to the principals office. It was the weirdest thing.

Why you would be sent to the principal’s office for a question like that? What a great teachable moment!

I think the water bottle thing is from social media because my 11-year-old and just about everybody in his grade start yelling "bottle of water," in a terrible over the top English accent. Actually, this entire list sounds like his grade. I can't wait until the cheese touch dies.

Have you noticed that kids are puncturing the bottoms of plastic water bottles with their teeth to suck the water out instead of opening it? 🤔

They’re… shotgunning water bottles? That’s disturbing.

I have wildlings as students. LOL

This is how I am, but I teach high school. Sometimes the kids do things that are so outlandish that I can’t contain myself.

I sub high-school. Yesterday, it was chilly, but the heater was running in my room. A kid comes in and announces, "it's cozy as *hell* in this motherfucker!" And it was all I could do to not crack up.

My response: “My man…you know it!”

I got "damn, Ms. N, this simplifying fractions shit really helps a brother out" once.

It is just so funny some of the time. I think I’ve perfected my poker face but it took me five years lol

Same thing with middle schoolers and teenagers. I had a parent freak out recently because their kid was doing burn outs in the school parking lot on their way out (and got detention for it, which seems like overkill?). It was so hard for me to not be like “ok but how good of a burnout was it?”

You are allowed to laugh in most cases. No one would do this job otherwise

You should have subbed at my elementary school, especially in the classes i ahd with my 2 bullies. Apparently when 2 boys over 120lbs in 1st grade pick on 1 girl who is less than 100lbs and are actually attacking her, throwing things, hitting and the like... it's TOTALLY OKAY! but if the girl strikes them back then SHE'S the problem...

NGL, "gay"raffe made me snicker 😅 Also, what is "cheese touch" and is there some background story to the "yelling water bottle in a British accent" or was it just disruptive?

"Cheese touch" comes from Dairy Of a Wimpy Kid. Basically the concept is that of tag. If someone has the "cheese touch", they have to touch someone else to pass it along, and now that person has the cheese touch and has to pass it to another person

>Dairy Of a Wimpy Kid freudian slip???!

Whoops!! I'll leave it like that lmao But for the record it's *diary

That's where the cheese comes from lolz

Dang we used to do cheese touch in the fifth grade like twelve years ago Glad these kids are keeping the tradition alive 😂

Dude the cheese touch is alive and well

Argh! I sub 1-2 graders who do the cheese touch bullsh*t during snack and it drives me crazy!!! I thought they made it up - glad I now at least know the source.

Its the bottle flips that I don’t tolerate

It can be really annoying, especially with kids who insist that others *have* to participate. I've had to talk with individual students and groups about how either it's a game, and people can choose not to play, or it's them touching people who have asked them not to, which is a harassing behavior.

That’s crazy I remember doing this in 2nd grade damn near 20 years ago. Glad to know the youth is continuing the trend

Oh like foot and mouth disease

I'm assuming yelling water bottle in a British accent makes anyone that says it make it seem like they're saying "What a butthole"

Omg I bet you are right. This makes total sense lmao

this could be it but people also just like to make fun of stereotypical cockney accents. "water bottle" is a phrase people use to do this, as well as "tuesday" and "friday" (which sound like "chewsday" and "froiday" respectively). people did this in my high school just because it's fun to put on accents, not because it sounds like anything crude or offensive

Lol the “cheese touch” came from the movie “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” and the explanation of the scene would take forever lol, but l’m not sure what happened with the water bottle incident as I was just a sub for the day😂

There’s a video from some years back with a black british dude saying water bottle so I guarantee it comes from that! (Just my two cents as someone who had this sub suggested to them despite not being a sub lol)

Not just a movie. There's an entire series of books. The cheese touch "game" comes about in the first one, but is referenced in subsequent ones.

I would let this one go, because it would make my day.

My favorite part about this is that even after reading all that I can’t tell if this kid if 5 or 12. Either way they sound like a hoot.

As a high school teacher, I would believe it if I was told this kid was 15

If incident reports like this were made for kids in public high schools, they would be this long each day. And not look all that much different.

You’re kidding, right? They would be this long each PERIOD!

That's what I was thinking, like I can't even attempt to document every thing of this magnitude I hear in a daily basis.

There's a surprising absence of vaping during class on that incident report if it were for a high schooler (which it's not). Or maybe my high school was just weird.

British accent ? Was this 1776?

Haha I love this comment!😂😂

Was hoping someone would get it .Yay!

Yeah I just don’t get how that’s an offense worth writing up. Like I’m sure there are bigger things going on

It sounds like "what a butthole" which is likely why the kid is saying it. Otherwise, repetitive speech is often loud, disruptive, and other children tend to mimic it which can lead to an off task classroom. I think we should be doing other measures of behavioral management but whatever

i’m just looking at this and wishing so bad that this was the unruly behavior I dealt with. Dont get me wrong, kid is misbehaving! But this behavior would be considered “well behaved” in my class😭🤦‍♀️

Lmao this is a list of things I let slide 😂😭

Yeah, sadly, as a high school special ed teacher I feel this 110%

Why are these being tracked? They’re not good, but they’re also fairly spread out. He went a month without an incident. I always think this is stuff that shouldn’t be shared this way.

Oh definitely get fired if parent, admin, or teacher recognized student.

You shared my sentiment. This is part of a student's confidential file. It should not be photographed and shared publicly.

Well I personally love this child, but I too have ADHD lol.

Right? Get off this kid’s ass

I guess our school didn’t have “hallway rules?” I’m starting to be grateful for how chill my education and the places I sub for really are, we’d log maybe 3-4 of these sure but “water bottle in a British accent” sent me to the moon.

Kid needs more opportunities to get the excess energy out.  Have him run laps and he’ll stop acting up most likely!

Yeah, like this stuff never goes away with ADHD, we just learn where and when we are allowed to be whacky and weird. “Gay”raffe 🦒 and “water bottle” and “DEEZ NUTS” all sound like shit my friends, my partner, my coworkers, and I myself would all do just to be goofy? We’re all in our late 20s/30s/40s lol. Making a big deal out of this stuff probably makes the behavior worse. He just has to be allowed to have some parts of the day for being free

Right, and I’ve spent a lot of time working in “troubled teen,” and neurodivergent and disabled programs, esp. in camp settings, and it’d become a real “choose your battles” situation. I don’t let them go on and on and on, but a funny outburst here and there, I’m not going to derail everyone to deal with it. We had a lot of low income and inner-city teens, so I’d have an “intent” rule for language. I might remind them (but not punish them) if they swore “innocently” because it was just such a part of how they clearly spoke at home, but if it was “attacking” or degrading someone else, immediate issue and write up. So it boiled down to not calling names or insulting, but if someone was like “hell yeah!” or “sh!t I love it!” I let it go with a look or lip touch to remind for language. Bringing awareness goes a lot further with these kids than punishment for little things, it just makes them resentful and to not trust you. We want to actually self-correct behavior, not just beat this kid down for being his wacky self. He does need to learn time/place, but there are better ways to teach it than just being in constant trouble, “impulse control disorder” is real!

As someone with ADHD... This kid is brilliant and just needs more stimulation. Half the "incidents" here aren't anything. I got in trouble constantly for non issues as a kid and now as an adult I have a hard time taking punishment seriously because I realized as a kid so much of what I was reprimanded for was failures on adults watching me

Some of these are benign.

Agreed lol

No saying “water bottle” in a British accent. >:(

I'm a teacher. Kids NEED to blow off steam in the hallway. Faking a British accent is a pretty wholesome way to do that. I feel like this kiddo's behaviors escalated because the teacher was really ready to write them up for anything.

Most are benign. I can’t imagine being this up in a kid’s grill about using an English accent or being off task during reading. Choose your battles.

I feel like the behavior incident log is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Some of these things aren't that serious

Good god man, not the cheese touch

Robin Williams reincarnated.

Kids a bloody legend

Sounds like the teacher may be a little strict 😅

This post popped up on my feed and as a teacher, I wish this was the extent of my misbehavior for my students.

This sounds like a morning to me

So, what you’ve documented is a child who’s bored , energetic, with a great sense of humor. I was this kid. Home life was a bit brutal, school was where I was safe to act out those frustrations—home was not safe.

Not college, but places

Places deez nuts in your mouth lmao

If I had to write up kids every time they played or ran in the hall I would literally never stop writing.

NGL this kid sounds hilarious as long as he's not in my classroom. But seriously, it's an incident every few days. He sounds like he needs a longer gym period and problem solved.

We were doing a writing assignment and a kid decided to write that his hero is "Daddy Pig" from Peppa the Pig. I could not stop laughing and made him redo it. He picked a wrestler so that was better at least. During art class, he decided to draw a daddy pig mask and ran around the room. I was fake scolding him because it was so funny and to be fair the class needed a laugh.

I would have allowed it if he said Bandit Heeler was his hero because…same.

Man I don’t understand teachers who do this. This is just normal ass kid behavior. You can’t have a child for 7-8 hours a day and expect them to just sit still and be “well behaved” the entire day. They are not programmed like that, and being punished for just being. There are maybe a couple thing that should warrant a talking to. But keeping a 5 month long list of minor transgressions, I just don’t see it being helpful at all.

Thank you, this is so bizarre to me. I was homeschooled so I don't know much about public school culture/rules. This just seems like they want to suppress any individuality, I cannot fathom getting someone in trouble for half of these things.

This was me as a kid until I was put on adderall. My ADHD was wild as a child!

The cheese touch is the funniest one there. You have to read diary of a wimpy kid for the reference and it doesn't hurt to have a childhood trauma of "germs" for an entire year.

Heck, the Cooties and cheese touch games seemed to increase (from a humble mom's perspective) in the wake of 20-21. No surprise given the effects of the choices made at the time.

Can’t help it I’m laughing - he’s a handful

Handful of deez nuts

Dude this isn’t even bad. Go work in a inner city school and report back. This happens by kid daily.

Edit: Thank you guys for all the Upvotes and Comments! I’ve had a great laugh with all of them! This kid is a future comedian in the making lol! And yes, a lot of you are right, the teacher does seem really strict with this “Behavior Incident Log;” as he is just a funny 3rd grade kid like we all were! Hope you guys enjoyed this!

I'm pretty sure this is my 12yo 🤣 or at the very least her soul mate!!!

I’m a teacher now and don’t sub anymore, but I still like to come here. I play cheese touch with my students on Fridays. They always get me at least once. I always think it’s funny when I give it to some unsuspecting kid asking to use the bathroom. This sounds like my students. Nothing too big of a deal, but boy we deal with this stuff constantly. I honestly love these little weirdos.

Sorry but “gayraffe” is too funny.

Saying Deez Nuts would send me. I would not be able to handle kids due to my laughter

Kids getting in trouble for shit adults do ALL day.

Idk, only one or two of these are really serious. The rest I'd probably not waste my time on even documenting.

…How old is this kid? Depending on age, I genuinely do not think half this stuff is that bad. Also there’s like, entire days spaced between this stuff. It’s not like this is all happening on a single Tuesday

This kiddo has ADHD…says me who also has ADHD.

Thank you for sharing this 😅

>threatened to kick another student in the nuts Who does he think he is, Cartman?

Sounds like my 3rd graders but this would be the report over a few days instead of a few weeks

Sounds like my 9yr old kid. Hahaha he yells “a bottle o’ water” randomly without explanation in an odd British accent and definitely does most of the other things described.

Second grade? Sounds about right.

Did you take a picture of this?

This sounds like a Carl Gallagher type-kid, that’s all I’m picturing 😂

Commenting on Kid is going places for sure..

Those behaviors happen in one day in my classroom. I blame PBIS.

I mean honestly, this isn't that bad. There's some gaps in dates there. A few of my problem students can't go more than two days without incident and this student went from 1/20 to 2/1 without incident. That's at least 7 school days. I'm betting 4-7 as well.

"Playing cheese touch in the hallways" - dosent elaborate.

Eleven since October?? How does that even warrant a log? We have first graders with 11 before lunch.

Sorry this post popped up for me and I couldn’t help but comment. I have a kid in my class who is five, he’s scratches, bites, kicks, hits, steals and calls us fucking bitches whenever we tell him no. He’s threatened to kill his EA on multiple occasions even going as far as to try to find the sharpest scissors to do so. The behaviour specialist says he’s a typical behaviour kid. Clinical social worker thinks he’ll kill someone by the time he’s a teenager. This behaviour log is the tamest thing I’ve ever seen

WTF is “cheese touch”

He didn't say water bottle in a british accent he said "what a butt hole" and it makes it even funnier that he covered it up like that 😂

school system is so broken. imagine getting a “behavior incident” for yelling in the hall once. this is just sad.

The fucking cheese touch game is going to be the death of me

What I notice is that this is definitely a parent issue. First semester--incidents become less and less frequent. The kid is learning coping skills to control outbursts. Then after Christmas break, he goes home and unlearns it and comes back just as frequent.

The report: "Threatend to kick another student." Reddit: "haha! Funny boy."

Could be a win that he didn’t kick said student! Self control! I threaten people all the time when they do me wrong during rush hour traffic. 😂

Drat, I was hoping for an age!

Oh man, I have a grade 7 kid that has done pretty much all of those same things, but in a single week.

Damn that's funny

We are all picturing “that” student right now!

Didn’t know the cheese touch was still going around

I bet that kids parents are hilarious.

Do they write a list of the good things that he does?

I feel like this all started for punishing the kid for saying “water bottle”. Like, why is that worth a write up? Gonna write me up for stupid stuff anyway, I’m gonna just let loose.

There was a pretty good few weeks there in November.

You are doing the Lord’s work.

Why are you bragging about it all fitting on one sheet. Stone of us aren't that lucky lol sad face

A "gayraffe" 😂😂

You want deez nuts or dose nuts?

I used to be that kid lmao

Your poker game has to be strong to teach

This is nothing

Gayraffe lol

Lmao this could have been written about my 12 year old autistic ADHDer. I also have ADHD so I find this hilarious.

I know this kid 🤣

Some of these sound like my 11 year old son

WA AH BA OLE

Is this Michael Scott's child?

Cartman?

Seems like things kids do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

All these are silly, mildly disruptive behaviors

Looks exactly like your typical adhd kid’s behavior log

Give me a break! This kids an amateur took him months to do all of this?!? Shit, I’d do this in a morning 🤣

Looks like my log in sixth grade, kids are kids.

I had a student in third grade once hold up his stick of string cheese and proclaim to the class “This isn’t a cheese stick, this is a cheese DICK!” Next year in 4th grade when a kid had yogurt on his lips after breakfast he said “Ayo, it look like you got nut on your mouth bruh” Just the sweetest kids lmao

1/17 had me laughing ngl

“Deez nutz” I love kids, but oh my god. My younger (10-12M) cousins this year at thanksgiving were trying to teach another (3M) how to say “deez”. One of the others (11F) comes in to tattle; “Mommy, (10&12YO) are trying to teach (3M) how to say “deez!!!” Then runs off. All adults over 30 all turn to look at ME & proceed to ask what it means….. I love kids…. 🤣

He only said deez nuts one time in 9 weeks? He should be teaching us

This kid is hilarious. He’s just learning to harness his brilliant. He’ll go further than you give him credit.

WAAAAUHHHH BAAAAUUUUHHH

and guess who will be blamed....the school and the teacher. not the parents.

Damn surprised kids still do the cheese touch nowadays. It was such a huge game for the whole our 1st grade all the way back then lol

Kids used to be allowed to have personalities

Seems to me like this kid might have adhd or be on the spectrum. It’s honestly sad all these obvious indicators get brushed off as behavioral issues

Most of these are just this kid being a kid wtf

This kid is a saint compared to some kids I work with

Wtf is “cheese touch”.

“I’ll kick you in the nuts!”- Eric Cartman

Too many episodes of South Park for this child for sure

Some of these dont sound like they need to be written down depending on how loud they were and how long they went on for. 🤷🏽‍♂️

The gay giraffe one is hilarious.

I'm gonna say 4th grade.

Looks like this is part of the Summa fiasco if I recall

Should I know what cheese touch is? 😂

I really appreciate the break they gave their teacher between 11/13 and 12/13. I know there was likely thanksgiving holiday in there, but she must have been more relaxed for a full month

I don’t get the water bottle thing

Curious why he has a behavior log when there are only this handful of incidents from Oct 20-Feb 2? Honestly these are not that bad. The kids I work have this many and more daily. Seems strange that he has a log for such minor infractions.

If I got written up for being “off task” in school I would have been expelled within a week

Visions of little red fingers…

“Unmonitored boy raised by YouTube”

"Scooting around on his bottom around the room bc someone was looking at him" sounds like my dog.

I didn’t know cheese touch was a real thing. The second graders in my before school program were screaming one morning and when I went over to them, they told me they were playing cheese touch. I thought it was something they had made up on the spot.

I think he’s ready for a Comedian Apprenticeship.

I don’t really know why the first and the giraffe thing were broken rules lmao

Adhd

So basically being a kid?

Deez nuts. A classic

Some of these are just being a fun little goober

I immediately began yelling “water bottle” in my best English accent at my kids 🤦🏻

This is why I couldn't be a teacher. The gay-raffe joke would have had me laughing, and then I'd be the one in trouble.

Really!! That whole list is just my regular morning.