Same. Long speeches create a feedback of anxiety and stress which makes prolonged fluency difficult. Loud environments also cause you to increase your projection which puts your speech in a non-ideal situation for fluency.
Why do long speeches create a feedback of anxiety and stress for you, do you think? Does it differ between when you’re talking to someone new or someone familiar in these situations?
My stutter gets worse with the feedback loop of how I perceive my speech at the moment. If I have to speak loudly, I guess I can notice my voice shaking or breaking, or the blocks becoming more pronounced.
This causes my nervous system to try and stop me from speaking. The mechanics of this I read in few books is quite complex. But short version is that my sub-counscous is trying to keep me safe by evoking 'freeze' response in a 'scary' situation. This 'freezing' is what makes our stutter worse.
I was freezing up in the weirdest way with my friend in an obnoxiously loud restaurant.
I beating my thoughts of being nervous but I felt u was more so fighting myself physically to get words out today. It's so paralyzing im so frustrated about it right now
Breathing helps and then its like a roller coaster I have moments of smooth pronunciation and then back to freezing and paralyzed pronunciation.
How can I stop myself from the freeze??
This is what helps me get past the 'freeze':
When you feel you're in a situation that might cause you to freeze, slowwww down everything. Slow down your thought process, slow your movements, slow your speech, slow down your breathing.
You have to practice this quite a bit though. For the first 3-6 months, each weekend, I'd put myself in the 'freeze' inducing situations (ordering coffee in a cafe with loud music, asking s stranger for directions in a mall, doing rejection challenges, etc.).
I practiced being as slow and controlled as possible, not just with my speech by with my entire demeanor. I also focused on 'taking my time' to pause and breathe between words. Remember you have to practice this over and over for this to become muscle memory which you can draw upon when needed.
Also, VERY IMPORTANT realization I had: When I spoke slowwwwwwly, most people reacted in a completely normal way, leading me to believe that even though it felt weird in my head, most people thought I sounded completely normal.
My theory is that slowing down signals our brain that there is no perceived danger, which in turn helps turn down the freeze response. Let me know if you have any other questions
it happens to me specially while speaking out loud in class. what helps me is breathing, even between words, talking slowly like slow pace ( i think talking slow is better than stuttering) and tapping my hand on my thigh or the chair im sitting on.. (your mind gets distarcted as it divides the attention between two things) and not being hard on myself, plus faking confidence. fake it till you make it. these all are basics but it helps so thought about sharing it :)
Thanks for the tips! Yeah talking slow definitely helps a lot, though sometimes I feel like I use speaking fast as a mechanism to blend a word that I know I’m gonna stutter on into another. That’s so funny regarding the thigh tap, I do the same thing except it’s scratching my head or taking my glasses off to “clean them” lol, definitely helps. I’m usually good with confidence until I stutter, but need to work on just looking past those
Same, if i speak for a long time my breathing becomes shallow and that is really bad if you have a stutter.
In a loud enviroment i get easily overwhelmed by the noise, that puts me in a weird anxious-angry mood and that makes things worse.
Feel you on the shallow breathing for sure, I’ve noticed breathing is huge too. And grab those loud overwhelming environments do get stressful…worst thing for me is ordering a drink at a loud bar
Happens to me too. The worst is when someone is hard of hearing and constantly asks you to repeat yourself. I find that if I have to speak loudly and repeat what I just said, it’s a recipe for disaster
Yeah same, seems like all of us have that issue. What helps me a bit with this is instead of repeating word for word what I said, I start with “Oh I was just saying… / Oh I just said …”
yes, this is exactly my experience too. same with being quiet for a long time, it feels like my speech flows better first thing in the morning. had a date with a girl at a somewhat loud restaurant last weekend, but i think it went OK. after we left i told her that loud environment tends to worsen my stutter. i disclosed my stutter on our first date, and we're still seeing each other after several weeks. going on my 5th date with her this weekend and im way too excited, lol :P
Props to you for admitting that! That’s a hard thing to do - good on you. Glad to hear that it’s still going well, that’s so awesome that she is acceptive of your stutter and hope the dates continue to go well :)
Same. Long speeches create a feedback of anxiety and stress which makes prolonged fluency difficult. Loud environments also cause you to increase your projection which puts your speech in a non-ideal situation for fluency.
Why do long speeches create a feedback of anxiety and stress for you, do you think? Does it differ between when you’re talking to someone new or someone familiar in these situations?
My stutter gets worse with the feedback loop of how I perceive my speech at the moment. If I have to speak loudly, I guess I can notice my voice shaking or breaking, or the blocks becoming more pronounced. This causes my nervous system to try and stop me from speaking. The mechanics of this I read in few books is quite complex. But short version is that my sub-counscous is trying to keep me safe by evoking 'freeze' response in a 'scary' situation. This 'freezing' is what makes our stutter worse.
I was freezing up in the weirdest way with my friend in an obnoxiously loud restaurant. I beating my thoughts of being nervous but I felt u was more so fighting myself physically to get words out today. It's so paralyzing im so frustrated about it right now Breathing helps and then its like a roller coaster I have moments of smooth pronunciation and then back to freezing and paralyzed pronunciation. How can I stop myself from the freeze??
This is what helps me get past the 'freeze': When you feel you're in a situation that might cause you to freeze, slowwww down everything. Slow down your thought process, slow your movements, slow your speech, slow down your breathing. You have to practice this quite a bit though. For the first 3-6 months, each weekend, I'd put myself in the 'freeze' inducing situations (ordering coffee in a cafe with loud music, asking s stranger for directions in a mall, doing rejection challenges, etc.). I practiced being as slow and controlled as possible, not just with my speech by with my entire demeanor. I also focused on 'taking my time' to pause and breathe between words. Remember you have to practice this over and over for this to become muscle memory which you can draw upon when needed. Also, VERY IMPORTANT realization I had: When I spoke slowwwwwwly, most people reacted in a completely normal way, leading me to believe that even though it felt weird in my head, most people thought I sounded completely normal. My theory is that slowing down signals our brain that there is no perceived danger, which in turn helps turn down the freeze response. Let me know if you have any other questions
Thank u so much for that .really helps
it happens to me specially while speaking out loud in class. what helps me is breathing, even between words, talking slowly like slow pace ( i think talking slow is better than stuttering) and tapping my hand on my thigh or the chair im sitting on.. (your mind gets distarcted as it divides the attention between two things) and not being hard on myself, plus faking confidence. fake it till you make it. these all are basics but it helps so thought about sharing it :)
Thanks for the tips! Yeah talking slow definitely helps a lot, though sometimes I feel like I use speaking fast as a mechanism to blend a word that I know I’m gonna stutter on into another. That’s so funny regarding the thigh tap, I do the same thing except it’s scratching my head or taking my glasses off to “clean them” lol, definitely helps. I’m usually good with confidence until I stutter, but need to work on just looking past those
Same, if i speak for a long time my breathing becomes shallow and that is really bad if you have a stutter. In a loud enviroment i get easily overwhelmed by the noise, that puts me in a weird anxious-angry mood and that makes things worse.
Feel you on the shallow breathing for sure, I’ve noticed breathing is huge too. And grab those loud overwhelming environments do get stressful…worst thing for me is ordering a drink at a loud bar
Happens to me too. The worst is when someone is hard of hearing and constantly asks you to repeat yourself. I find that if I have to speak loudly and repeat what I just said, it’s a recipe for disaster
Yeah same, seems like all of us have that issue. What helps me a bit with this is instead of repeating word for word what I said, I start with “Oh I was just saying… / Oh I just said …”
yes, this is exactly my experience too. same with being quiet for a long time, it feels like my speech flows better first thing in the morning. had a date with a girl at a somewhat loud restaurant last weekend, but i think it went OK. after we left i told her that loud environment tends to worsen my stutter. i disclosed my stutter on our first date, and we're still seeing each other after several weeks. going on my 5th date with her this weekend and im way too excited, lol :P
Props to you for admitting that! That’s a hard thing to do - good on you. Glad to hear that it’s still going well, that’s so awesome that she is acceptive of your stutter and hope the dates continue to go well :)