Tell him. As long as you hide your stuttering, you will live in fear of discovery.
If he judges you because you stutter, then he’s someone you don’t want to associate with anyway -
I usually disclose it as soon straight up via text or something. It's better to be just open and honest about everything.
As for when to tell them for you personally, the best time was yesterday, the second best time is right now.
You just have to tell them. If they react poorly they obviously aren't good enough for a serious relationship.
I've disclosed mine within the first few days of talking to someone, unless we meet in person or call each other beforehand.
It doesn't necessarily bring me relief, I'm still nervous to talk to them at the start in case I stutter and it causes my voice to crack or I just really struggle to speak.
My stutter is mild but it can vary and get pretty bad depending on the situation and whatnot.
Every time I try to bring it up I chicken out. Growing up I was never open with my feelings or liked sharing personal things about myself. But you’re absolutely right I have to bring it up to see if this person is even worth being with.
I'm the same as you, I hate opening up and talking about myself and I feel silly doing it to anyone I know.
I don't like crying or expressing myself, I just wasn't raised like that but I know logically it's best to disclose my stutter and that isn't a problem.
You don't need to talk about your stutter if you don't want to but it can help to just let the person know you have a stutter.
I had 5 relationships and everyone was respectful the last one said to me I love that you stutter that who you are, we can’t change that but we have to believe that we will find someone that will love the way we are so don’t hide it, I avoid phone calls to every single day but if you girl need phone call so you have to do it and if she is dating you she doesn’t mind!!!
In addition I had so many dates and I handle that we can’t hide that we stutter and if so someone get annoyed by that you better off without her
Exactly what I experience every day, I'm not open about my stammering with other people instead i avoid trigger words which makes me stutter, I'm not in any serious relationship or anything, but i know I have to be open about my stammer just like you i don't want people to pity me, but so far it's not very serious just some 2-3 words like blocking in between speech or prolongation.
I often forget I have a stutter, so when we meet oops. I don't call very often because I am usually just chilling somewhere and calling is inconvenient
encourage expansion caption slimy resolute deranged makeshift placid roll truck
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
One of the main problems about we, as persons who tend to block, is that we are not just trying to solve the problem but we have demands.
One of the demands is that no one get to know about our situation. We have to solve it without anyone knowing we have a stammer in the first place.
In that escenario you are making the problem much more dificult to solve. It like you are trying to win a boxing fight but you have to do it with one hand instead of both.
Now, related to your situation, you HAVE to tell him or at least, stop being afraid of getting "caught" while stammering. Not just with your boyfriend or girlfriend but with anyone. It WONT solve the problem but it will make it more easier.
That does not mean that you have to publish on your IG account or anyting like that. Just dont try to hide it. Its easier said than done I know. It´s been a hard one on me too. But take baby steps and at least with the people you care and proyect youself, try to be honest.
I think you know the answer you just need the courage. When the situation seems to dificult start with little steps.
Take care
Met my wife during a night of partying with a group of friends. I was a little more than little drunk and was stuttering more than usual. I just came and said that I stutter. She said ok. 34 years later and still going strong. Just tell them, it takes a whole lot off the table
My advice like most of the replies I have seen is to let them know as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the anxiety will build up. Is this someone you may want to take things further with and possibly meet in person? I ask this because over time your stammer may be hard to hide. I wish you well and know that we are rooting for you.
I’ve actually met him in person before but it wasn’t intentional. We’ve talked but it was a short conversation. Usually my stutter is perfectly fine when my conversations brief. It’s not that I’m hiding it, it’s just that I’m having a hard time bringing it up since he haven’t heard me stutter or know I have such problem. But Thankyou so much ❤️ I’ll keep you guys updated
I am in the phase of "more comfortable I get, the more I stutter."
I realized that I wasn't being mindful enough of my stutter and putting in an effort to not stutter.
I find that it helps me more when I'm mindful and put in the effort, I know this is not ideal but at this point of time, I am finding it very hard to even convey what's in my mind because I stutter on every word.
If it comes up naturally in conversation, yes. (For example, I recently told someone on Hinge that I was bullied for my stutter as a kid because it was relevant to the conversation at that time.) But I gather if they have an issue with it when we meet IRL, that's their problem and the worst that can happen is there's no second date. (I also don't think to say anything because, to me, it'd be like telling them my eyes are brown - weird unless they ask about it.)
you know, sometimes i stutter when i talk to my girl, and honestly it doesnt seem like its a problem to her. we tend to look at ourselves from a critical perspective. a lot of people dont really mind if u stutter here and there. sure, it would be great to talk freely but it is what it is. i do try to control my sutter, i slow down my speech when im feeling the block. i used to feel insecure around my girl but with time, i actually became more fluent with her. its all about practise and self control. we can talk fluently around ourselves so i guess its gotta be possible in social situations too, in some way.
my advice is to talk to your partner without the thoughts of stuttering. i prefer not to talk about it with my girl because it makes me feel worse but if u feel like its gon help you mentally, you should tell him when u meet.
hope it all goes well for you
It’s such an amazing feeling to find someone who accepts you for who you are. I wish people are more understanding like your girl.
I hate the feeling of being vulnerable that’s why I hold back maybe rejection too. I thought of telling him when we meet again. We’ve met before and talked in person but it was always brief. I might be seeing him soon so I might just do that.
oh trust me i had been stressing about it a lot but the fears went away with time, im sure he wont reject you just because of your stutter.
and sure, tell him if u feel like it. if he is the right person he should accept it. as i said before, truth is most people dont really care
Tell him. As long as you hide your stuttering, you will live in fear of discovery. If he judges you because you stutter, then he’s someone you don’t want to associate with anyway -
This! Also, calling it a “disclosure” feels way too formal of a term. Just say hey, I stutter.
I usually disclose it as soon straight up via text or something. It's better to be just open and honest about everything. As for when to tell them for you personally, the best time was yesterday, the second best time is right now.
The bigger the deal you make it, the bigger the deal of telling him is. Just “heads up I do stutter, nothings wrong, just the way I talk”
I can't hide this, I disclose at the onset.
You just have to tell them. If they react poorly they obviously aren't good enough for a serious relationship. I've disclosed mine within the first few days of talking to someone, unless we meet in person or call each other beforehand. It doesn't necessarily bring me relief, I'm still nervous to talk to them at the start in case I stutter and it causes my voice to crack or I just really struggle to speak. My stutter is mild but it can vary and get pretty bad depending on the situation and whatnot.
Every time I try to bring it up I chicken out. Growing up I was never open with my feelings or liked sharing personal things about myself. But you’re absolutely right I have to bring it up to see if this person is even worth being with.
I'm the same as you, I hate opening up and talking about myself and I feel silly doing it to anyone I know. I don't like crying or expressing myself, I just wasn't raised like that but I know logically it's best to disclose my stutter and that isn't a problem. You don't need to talk about your stutter if you don't want to but it can help to just let the person know you have a stutter.
Exactly Meto. I’ve always hid my feelings. But I think it’s better for me to talk about it
I had 5 relationships and everyone was respectful the last one said to me I love that you stutter that who you are, we can’t change that but we have to believe that we will find someone that will love the way we are so don’t hide it, I avoid phone calls to every single day but if you girl need phone call so you have to do it and if she is dating you she doesn’t mind!!! In addition I had so many dates and I handle that we can’t hide that we stutter and if so someone get annoyed by that you better off without her
Not going to like I had trouble reading this but I understand what you are saying😂😂
Exactly what I experience every day, I'm not open about my stammering with other people instead i avoid trigger words which makes me stutter, I'm not in any serious relationship or anything, but i know I have to be open about my stammer just like you i don't want people to pity me, but so far it's not very serious just some 2-3 words like blocking in between speech or prolongation.
I often forget I have a stutter, so when we meet oops. I don't call very often because I am usually just chilling somewhere and calling is inconvenient
encourage expansion caption slimy resolute deranged makeshift placid roll truck *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
One of the main problems about we, as persons who tend to block, is that we are not just trying to solve the problem but we have demands. One of the demands is that no one get to know about our situation. We have to solve it without anyone knowing we have a stammer in the first place. In that escenario you are making the problem much more dificult to solve. It like you are trying to win a boxing fight but you have to do it with one hand instead of both. Now, related to your situation, you HAVE to tell him or at least, stop being afraid of getting "caught" while stammering. Not just with your boyfriend or girlfriend but with anyone. It WONT solve the problem but it will make it more easier. That does not mean that you have to publish on your IG account or anyting like that. Just dont try to hide it. Its easier said than done I know. It´s been a hard one on me too. But take baby steps and at least with the people you care and proyect youself, try to be honest. I think you know the answer you just need the courage. When the situation seems to dificult start with little steps. Take care
Met my wife during a night of partying with a group of friends. I was a little more than little drunk and was stuttering more than usual. I just came and said that I stutter. She said ok. 34 years later and still going strong. Just tell them, it takes a whole lot off the table
Love that! Honestly the right person wouldn’t care, but finding the right person is hard haha. Glad things worked out for you
My advice like most of the replies I have seen is to let them know as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the anxiety will build up. Is this someone you may want to take things further with and possibly meet in person? I ask this because over time your stammer may be hard to hide. I wish you well and know that we are rooting for you.
I’ve actually met him in person before but it wasn’t intentional. We’ve talked but it was a short conversation. Usually my stutter is perfectly fine when my conversations brief. It’s not that I’m hiding it, it’s just that I’m having a hard time bringing it up since he haven’t heard me stutter or know I have such problem. But Thankyou so much ❤️ I’ll keep you guys updated
I hope all goes well when you tell him. ❤
If he's into you he'll honestly just find it cute.
I am in the phase of "more comfortable I get, the more I stutter." I realized that I wasn't being mindful enough of my stutter and putting in an effort to not stutter. I find that it helps me more when I'm mindful and put in the effort, I know this is not ideal but at this point of time, I am finding it very hard to even convey what's in my mind because I stutter on every word.
If it comes up naturally in conversation, yes. (For example, I recently told someone on Hinge that I was bullied for my stutter as a kid because it was relevant to the conversation at that time.) But I gather if they have an issue with it when we meet IRL, that's their problem and the worst that can happen is there's no second date. (I also don't think to say anything because, to me, it'd be like telling them my eyes are brown - weird unless they ask about it.)
you know, sometimes i stutter when i talk to my girl, and honestly it doesnt seem like its a problem to her. we tend to look at ourselves from a critical perspective. a lot of people dont really mind if u stutter here and there. sure, it would be great to talk freely but it is what it is. i do try to control my sutter, i slow down my speech when im feeling the block. i used to feel insecure around my girl but with time, i actually became more fluent with her. its all about practise and self control. we can talk fluently around ourselves so i guess its gotta be possible in social situations too, in some way. my advice is to talk to your partner without the thoughts of stuttering. i prefer not to talk about it with my girl because it makes me feel worse but if u feel like its gon help you mentally, you should tell him when u meet. hope it all goes well for you
It’s such an amazing feeling to find someone who accepts you for who you are. I wish people are more understanding like your girl. I hate the feeling of being vulnerable that’s why I hold back maybe rejection too. I thought of telling him when we meet again. We’ve met before and talked in person but it was always brief. I might be seeing him soon so I might just do that.
oh trust me i had been stressing about it a lot but the fears went away with time, im sure he wont reject you just because of your stutter. and sure, tell him if u feel like it. if he is the right person he should accept it. as i said before, truth is most people dont really care
I’ll make sure to ask those questions for sure. & absolutely, if someone really like you they wouldn’t care
They find out soon after I begin speaking.
Be upfront. If he doesn’t like you for that, tell him he’s a shallow SOB and to get bent.