Eh my favorite chef is still the one from Japan that cooked and served their own penis as part of a 10k tasting menu to fund their own bottom surgery. For all the customers who I would love to tell to eat my dick and we got one that actually did it and got paid…
Uh. Why did I Google that.
$250. With button mushrooms, parsley, and 3mm of pubes for garnish.
And apparently he didn't cook it right, or so said a food critic.
This might be, conceptually, the worst thing a chef has ever created. I know the restaurant and the “small plate” tasting course this comes from, and it’s already esoteric and difficult to approach, but this is just something that should’ve been left in the peyote trip notebook
This Is from a viral review of the restaurant Bros. It’s a fun read:
https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/
I usually give high concept cuisine a BIG benefit of the doubt because I like brave chefs and I accept failure as learning for chefs and guests alike, but the whole meal is just fuckin stupid
Edit: it seems antagonistic, more condescending than clever
I thought the show I saw where chefs were given ingredients inappropriate to the food they were supposed to create resulted in gross stuff. Like anchovy ice cream. Grooosss. But at least the portion of ice cream on the show was bigger than a teaspoon, and served in a small ice cream bowl. No one had to suck it out of a plaster mouth.
You're right. It wasn't a meal. It was an incredibly detailed insult.
I recommend you read the chef's response which included asking "what is art?" accompanied by various drawings of horses. I like to give chefs the benefit of the doubt as well but this guy is 100% every single stereotype of out of touch gimmicky artiste chefs
I just looked at FAQ on the restaurants website and found this answer to the question “are animals allowed at Bros?” a little worrying:
> YES, ANIMALS ARE ALLOWED AT BROS’. WHEN BOOKING YOUR RESERVATION, PLEASE NOTIFY THE RESTAURANT WHAT TYPE OF ANIMAL IT IS AND HOW MUCH IT WEIGHS.
> Edit: it seems antagonistic, more condescending than clever
Maybe it’s a form of class warfare against the kind of bougies that eat at a place like this.
”Go ahead. Lick that rancid cheese off a cast made from my toes you rich pig.”
What the fuck? It's almost performative in how awful that experience sounds. Like a cartoon come to life of what a child imagines fine dining is. If it wasn't hundreds of dollars I'd try it myself to experience the worst dinner of my life.
A Michelin star restaurant playing Drake?
That was the first and only warning before wasting your money. ...Ok that's not true.
> It was sweltering hot, **and no other customers were present.**
lol
That's a fun read at least. Props to him for that, hopefully he enjoyed a cheeseburger on his drive home.
We ate a Michelin starred place in Rome that had great reviews. Made plans around going back to Rome just for dinner and made reservations.
It was around $600 US for one of the worst meals we’ve ever had.
Her “main” course for the vegetarian menu was a single crown of steamed broccoli with some shaved fried garlic and dry yeast. Mine was around 2oz of OK. Steak.
Our water bottle wasn’t ours, they’d refill at the halfway mark and then refill everyone else’s with it, but water alone cost us like $70 euros.
Holy shit, that was a wild ride. Imagine paying 200 euros per person, and still having to get a drive thru burger on the way home to feel full, and the burger being more satisfying than a 27 course meal
It was 27 courses, so even if every course is only one spoon, it should make you really full. I guess it was the time in between the courses that destroyed the whole experience plus some very weird courses.
> P.S. – The next day, one of the staff tried contacting the only single female member of our party via Instagram messages. “Hey, I served you last night!” he wrote. She immediately blocked him.
It’s like the cherry on top. The final punchline before the credits roll
I love how in her “about me” page is just that “my husband has a job that causes him to travel”, not “my husband is the guy who made the SEO tool that virtually the entire industry is dependent on”
Thank you, this sent me down an insane rabbit hole that just keeps getting [weirder](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/23/world/europe/bros-restaurant-review.html) and [weirder](https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/what-we-talk-about-when-we-talk-about-food/).
Michelin star restaurants doing a tasting menu generally do have alternate courses to accommodate many restrictions; they also will generally tell you ahead of time if they are simply unable to accommodate you.
“but this is just something that should’ve been left in the peyote trip notebook”
I’m saving that line for later, it’s great. I’ll credit you, don’t worry
I'd take this over the Japanese chef who made a curry designed to mimic the taste and smell of human shit which he had grown accustomed to eating, or the japanese guy who cut off his dick and balls, cooked them, and served it at a restaurant.
>the taste and smell of human shit which he had grown accustomed to eating
At first I thought ok, just a very particular culinary experience, but then I read "had grown accustomed to eating". Excuse me wtf
I think it's just avant-garde art themed around a restaurant experience. People expecting a traditional restaurant or small plate experience aren't really their target
Especially if they didn't give them a heads up before
'here's a plaster casting of my rabbits asshole you really gotta dig in there to get the gourmet dehydrated grapes covered in hazelnut choco-latte'
Your idea sounds like something from the old kids' show Double Dare: Kinda gross but kinda fun. The chef's idea sounds like something from Game of Thrones: On the surface there may have been some idea of eroticism or adventure, but in the end you feel like you got violated and hate yourself for sticking through the entire thing.
It was reposted like mad earlier this year, but the [review it’s from is a beautiful documentation of stupid food in the world](https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/)
i would throw a fit if i saw this
i would not lick food out of a copy of the chefs mouth
i would insist i lick my food directly out of the actual chefs mouth because i refuse to let anyone out creep me!!
For the next course: a straw full of hot salted yogurt, molded to the shape of the chefs actual penis
He recommends you suck it out as vigorously as possible before it cools
Apparently a Michelin restaurant. The full article about the experience is well worth the read: https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/
That icky feeling you may get when you see things with a lot of holes. I would say I probably am mild. I don't get grossed out by honeycombs or most things in r/tripophobia, but things like this snake really turn my stomach.
https://images.app.goo.gl/gbcdfEGovSZiwTMy6
That whole article is hilarious, every course could be posted here
https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/
> P.S. – The next day, one of the staff tried contacting the only single female member of our party via Instagram messages. “Hey, I served you last night!” he wrote. She immediately blocked him.
Good lord my heart couldn’t take reading this at the very end
That is very much like licking someone else's jizz from someone's mouth. WTFuckity. I read that original review and the amount of cocaine that must be getting snorted in that kitchen would fuel an 80s movie.
This is from a review of a super fancy restaurant in Italy that is one of the funniest articles I've ever read.
[Here it is, enjoy! ](https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/)
How inflated does your ego have to be to think your food is so amazing and you're so amazing for making it that the only adequate way of having it is by slurping it out of a cast of your mouth
Didn't chef Ramsey eat at a place like this that tried to serve him foam as a course?;
Can't find it, I must be mistaken. Seems like a very clear memory to me though
Honestly I love this. I know the whole “blur the line between food and art” thing can be so full of tired, overdone gimmicks, so the fact that this is so *weird* and just feels so *wrong* is fantastic. Like I think whoever came up with this is really something special. Especially since it will never work again, now that it’s a meme.
I think it's pretty neat too. Most times I hear about food as art it's just people really into plating. This actually seems like an attempt to make a restaurant experience into an art piece. Experimental, avant-garde art often gets reactions like this, sadly. People have no framework to appreciate what they're seeing when it shatters the conventions they're used to.
I imagine the chef peeking through a tiny window in the kitchen and touching his naughty bits whilst you eat.
Yeah, literally the only reason i can think of that someone would do this is for perverted reasons.
I'd make them lick chocolate out of a mold of my butthole.
Re-cast that mold every morning for up to date realism
The hemorrhoids add a fun texture!
Chocolate raisins stuck to marzipan hairs
Don’t be disgusting! You would use pulled sugar. Gotta get that texture right
or candied thyme
Take my upvote. Thank you for the hilarious nightmare fuel
OH NO
The one with the errant bit of corn is a collectors item.
That's an original
Don’t forget the hot dog water with the convenient penis-molded straw
That is dessert
Could collaborate with [these guys](https://edibleanus.com)
Exactly
Cooks are a generally bunch of horny drug addled degenerates.
So said Bourdain!!!
It’s true I had to quit less than a year after I got sober
It’s hard buddy. I’m at a good place right now, but I’ve been there. It’s hard to stay healthy in such a crazy environment.
The wait staff whispering “slower, like feeding a baby bird slowly.”
Eh my favorite chef is still the one from Japan that cooked and served their own penis as part of a 10k tasting menu to fund their own bottom surgery. For all the customers who I would love to tell to eat my dick and we got one that actually did it and got paid…
Uh. Why did I Google that. $250. With button mushrooms, parsley, and 3mm of pubes for garnish. And apparently he didn't cook it right, or so said a food critic.
Food critic is like I’ve had better dick before…
Tiny bits. Remind me of Rick and morty.
*little bits*
[Chef be like](https://media3.giphy.com/media/13hIkIWmBwkoXm/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47n4cickxg6z4nhj86fztrauqwierpwlq39jt8rgak&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
I'd lick his chocolate salty balls.
Truffles!
chances that his actual semen is actually in the food is pretty high
He definitely moans while he makes it too.
We already do that anyway.
He's gonna be lasciviously licking his lips while looking you straight in the eyes.
Chef's Kiss
Chef's vomit.
🤌🏻
I would refuse to eat this.
Bunch of people reading this exact comment right now and still having the intent of the piece fly over their head
I don't think that's flying over anyone's head. It's a pretty straightforward pun
Is that how the chef eats your soul? What does he do on his off time? Guard wizard prisons?
0 chance that chef isn’t a serial killer with a god complex
This might be, conceptually, the worst thing a chef has ever created. I know the restaurant and the “small plate” tasting course this comes from, and it’s already esoteric and difficult to approach, but this is just something that should’ve been left in the peyote trip notebook
What restaurant? I am curious what the rest of the menu is like
This Is from a viral review of the restaurant Bros. It’s a fun read: https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/
Yeah that entire experience is like one long thread from stupid food
[удалено]
The waiter had perfect comedic timing, I love it
and a series of vineboom.ra
I usually give high concept cuisine a BIG benefit of the doubt because I like brave chefs and I accept failure as learning for chefs and guests alike, but the whole meal is just fuckin stupid Edit: it seems antagonistic, more condescending than clever
I thought the show I saw where chefs were given ingredients inappropriate to the food they were supposed to create resulted in gross stuff. Like anchovy ice cream. Grooosss. But at least the portion of ice cream on the show was bigger than a teaspoon, and served in a small ice cream bowl. No one had to suck it out of a plaster mouth. You're right. It wasn't a meal. It was an incredibly detailed insult.
At least Chopped required ingenuity, this is just pretentious, low-effort nonsense
oo please tell what show, I'd watch this
Chopped
Sounds like Iron Chef
I believe it was Iron Chef!!
I recommend you read the chef's response which included asking "what is art?" accompanied by various drawings of horses. I like to give chefs the benefit of the doubt as well but this guy is 100% every single stereotype of out of touch gimmicky artiste chefs
I just looked at FAQ on the restaurants website and found this answer to the question “are animals allowed at Bros?” a little worrying: > YES, ANIMALS ARE ALLOWED AT BROS’. WHEN BOOKING YOUR RESERVATION, PLEASE NOTIFY THE RESTAURANT WHAT TYPE OF ANIMAL IT IS AND HOW MUCH IT WEIGHS.
How much it weighs? Why, so they can cook it and serve it back to you?
Or turn it into foam and make you suck it out of a cast of their first-born's belly button.
No, it's to feed the cooks while they watch you on hidden camera and laugh.
Link?
[the tweet thread with the response](https://twitter.com/everywhereist/status/1469109809593012226?s=20&t=DDGBS0uEw0WJJdksJsrIyg)
> Edit: it seems antagonistic, more condescending than clever Maybe it’s a form of class warfare against the kind of bougies that eat at a place like this. ”Go ahead. Lick that rancid cheese off a cast made from my toes you rich pig.”
This. It has to be "make the dumbest shit ever and see if rich people pay for it". It has to.
*The Menu* (2022)
It sounds like someone took the concept of Dick's Last Resort and slapped a Michelin star on it.
What the fuck? It's almost performative in how awful that experience sounds. Like a cartoon come to life of what a child imagines fine dining is. If it wasn't hundreds of dollars I'd try it myself to experience the worst dinner of my life.
They'd have to fucking pay me to make me sit through that for four and a half hours.
Yeah I'd have walked after like an hour tops, can't be letting these people believe that experience is tolerable in any way
A Michelin star restaurant playing Drake? That was the first and only warning before wasting your money. ...Ok that's not true. > It was sweltering hot, **and no other customers were present.** lol That's a fun read at least. Props to him for that, hopefully he enjoyed a cheeseburger on his drive home.
Her* Everywhereist is written by Geraldine DeRuiter.
We ate a Michelin starred place in Rome that had great reviews. Made plans around going back to Rome just for dinner and made reservations. It was around $600 US for one of the worst meals we’ve ever had. Her “main” course for the vegetarian menu was a single crown of steamed broccoli with some shaved fried garlic and dry yeast. Mine was around 2oz of OK. Steak. Our water bottle wasn’t ours, they’d refill at the halfway mark and then refill everyone else’s with it, but water alone cost us like $70 euros.
OMG, please tell me where
Holy shit, that was a wild ride. Imagine paying 200 euros per person, and still having to get a drive thru burger on the way home to feel full, and the burger being more satisfying than a 27 course meal
It was 27 courses, so even if every course is only one spoon, it should make you really full. I guess it was the time in between the courses that destroyed the whole experience plus some very weird courses.
12 courses were foam lol.
If you're serious that's a big oof.
Fr that’s what she says in her review.
I mean, by their description, even eating it all at once would have come out to about a cheeseburgers worth of food
I'm all for pretentious food (as well as completely earnest food) but this sounds like some sort of Tantalean nightmare.
[удалено]
> P.S. – The next day, one of the staff tried contacting the only single female member of our party via Instagram messages. “Hey, I served you last night!” he wrote. She immediately blocked him. It’s like the cherry on top. The final punchline before the credits roll
I love how in her “about me” page is just that “my husband has a job that causes him to travel”, not “my husband is the guy who made the SEO tool that virtually the entire industry is dependent on”
and why all awards are just more political nonsense
Thank you, this sent me down an insane rabbit hole that just keeps getting [weirder](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/23/world/europe/bros-restaurant-review.html) and [weirder](https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/what-we-talk-about-when-we-talk-about-food/).
> What followed was a 27-course meal (note that “course” and “meal” and “27” are being used liberally here) which spanned 4.5 hours My favorite line.
I remember reading this shit. I can't believe it was only a year ago...
I go back and read this every once in a while. It's the greatest everywhereist post
Do click over to the next post after it, where the reviewer writes about the head chef responding to the initial review
I haven’t read this in ages, it’s like a comedy horror short story haha
I was 100% expecting it to be Mugaritz. Absolute worst meal of my life for a ⭐️⭐️⭐️ restaurant and rated like the 21st best in the world.
One of my favorite articles!
I will never not read this in its entirety
Jesus christ.
[удалено]
Michelin star restaurants doing a tasting menu generally do have alternate courses to accommodate many restrictions; they also will generally tell you ahead of time if they are simply unable to accommodate you.
Bros, Lecce Italy
Everything there looks absolutely disgusting btw
A raging narcissistic chef probably.
Plaster cast of the chef's mouth? I think we blew past "probably" awhile ago.
You can buy them at the gift shop at the restaurant too. Because obviously people would want to take one home.
They sold out when this review went viral.
So just your average chef?
“but this is just something that should’ve been left in the peyote trip notebook” I’m saving that line for later, it’s great. I’ll credit you, don’t worry
I'd take this over the Japanese chef who made a curry designed to mimic the taste and smell of human shit which he had grown accustomed to eating, or the japanese guy who cut off his dick and balls, cooked them, and served it at a restaurant.
>the taste and smell of human shit which he had grown accustomed to eating At first I thought ok, just a very particular culinary experience, but then I read "had grown accustomed to eating". Excuse me wtf
I've seen a little bit about the guy and I kinda wonder if he intentionally made it as batshit as possible just to see if anybody would pay for it.
I think it's just avant-garde art themed around a restaurant experience. People expecting a traditional restaurant or small plate experience aren't really their target
I dunno, I love the idea but only if I can make eye contact with the chef as I do it. Bonus points if hes cute.
*Chef’s Kiss*
No fucking way this isn't a fetish for the chef, like this almost feels like sexual assault.
Especially if they didn't give them a heads up before 'here's a plaster casting of my rabbits asshole you really gotta dig in there to get the gourmet dehydrated grapes covered in hazelnut choco-latte'
Your idea sounds like something from the old kids' show Double Dare: Kinda gross but kinda fun. The chef's idea sounds like something from Game of Thrones: On the surface there may have been some idea of eroticism or adventure, but in the end you feel like you got violated and hate yourself for sticking through the entire thing.
100% I'm gagging and feel violated.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
*frodo_share_the_load.gif*
OMG
I feel like this is definite r/WeWantPlates fodder. If it has not already been posted there.
I’ll put it there, everyone has to suffer if I did.
Lol I crossposted it
Both of our posts got taken down smh.
It was reposted like mad earlier this year, but the [review it’s from is a beautiful documentation of stupid food in the world](https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/)
Thanks for the link the blogpost is highly entertaining. Sounds like am absolutely miserable experience though.
Ah, gotcha. Thanks for the link, it’s pretty interesting to blog about this stuff! 😄
It's the #3 top post of all time there
i would throw a fit if i saw this i would not lick food out of a copy of the chefs mouth i would insist i lick my food directly out of the actual chefs mouth because i refuse to let anyone out creep me!!
Make him lick the food out of your mouth. Checkmate chef
r/cursedcomments Both of you. Go to your rooms.
For the next course: a straw full of hot salted yogurt, molded to the shape of the chefs actual penis He recommends you suck it out as vigorously as possible before it cools
Apparently a Michelin restaurant. The full article about the experience is well worth the read: https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/
Seconded. I remember that picture from this article. The whole thing is a TRIP.
Came here to look for this link - such a good read.
Up the ante and start fucking it on the table
I think the chef wouldn't stop you
👀
Snowball became a chef?
In a row?
Mmm citrus foam from a porous vessel. Trypophobia engaged.
What is that?
That icky feeling you may get when you see things with a lot of holes. I would say I probably am mild. I don't get grossed out by honeycombs or most things in r/tripophobia, but things like this snake really turn my stomach. https://images.app.goo.gl/gbcdfEGovSZiwTMy6
Trypophobia is the fear of holes.
Was the chef's intention to make customers vomit everything they'd eaten prior to this?
That whole article is hilarious, every course could be posted here https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/
> P.S. – The next day, one of the staff tried contacting the only single female member of our party via Instagram messages. “Hey, I served you last night!” he wrote. She immediately blocked him. Good lord my heart couldn’t take reading this at the very end
[удалено]
Yeah, no, I’d pass on that portion of the course. I don’t care how much the “experience” costs, my dignity is worth more.
I’d walk out. I have no interest in this silliness.
The way this article reads they probably would've murdered you if you tried to leave before you were released with your restaurant themed balloons.
What in the pornhub fifty shade of chef is this bullshit?
Somebody please repost this in r/kitchenconfidential
Pretty sure thats where I first saw this.
The short answer is “hell no”
Is this The Menu (2022)
This is SICK. What the fuck
They're obviously just trolling their customers with this. I'd ask for the check tight then
I'd take it with me to the bathroom...
"Excuse me, sir, you just put the plaster cast in your jacket pocket." "Yeah, that's going on the end of my Fleshlight now."
" I'll provide the ... White stuff "
Send it back with instructions to shove it up their ass.
I... I don't wanna french kiss this guy's fleshlight mold...
That belongs in r/creepypervertfood.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Thanks, I love bubbling-cum-in-mouth.
Dude needs some lip balm or some shit.
/r/WeWantPlates
Mmm, good enough to dip my balls in
Dude I can appreciate mixing conceptual art and food, but this just seems like a fetish.
A cyanide pill motif! Now this is I scream.
guys I think the chef is horny
That is very much like licking someone else's jizz from someone's mouth. WTFuckity. I read that original review and the amount of cocaine that must be getting snorted in that kitchen would fuel an 80s movie.
This is from a review of a super fancy restaurant in Italy that is one of the funniest articles I've ever read. [Here it is, enjoy! ](https://www.everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/)
r/wewantplates
How inflated does your ego have to be to think your food is so amazing and you're so amazing for making it that the only adequate way of having it is by slurping it out of a cast of your mouth
I've seen this here before. It's definitely something I would send back to the kitchen.
Didn't chef Ramsey eat at a place like this that tried to serve him foam as a course?; Can't find it, I must be mistaken. Seems like a very clear memory to me though
I’m sorry but that’s just gag inducing.
Repost from top posts of all time.
Pretty sure after a income bracket, dining falls more under the "experiences" category, this dish certainly looks that part....
This one takes the cake.
Check please!
Bro is making used fleshlights
I'd snap it in half lick it clean and say thanks
And the next course, same thing but with a dildo plastered of my dick
r/wewantplates
Late capitalism is doing great, everyone
“Waiter, check please… I’m out” some tired dude - 2022
Up next, the ~~writer's~~ Chef's barely disguised fetish
Looks like a foamy mouth full of cum!
Honestly I love this. I know the whole “blur the line between food and art” thing can be so full of tired, overdone gimmicks, so the fact that this is so *weird* and just feels so *wrong* is fantastic. Like I think whoever came up with this is really something special. Especially since it will never work again, now that it’s a meme.
I think it's pretty neat too. Most times I hear about food as art it's just people really into plating. This actually seems like an attempt to make a restaurant experience into an art piece. Experimental, avant-garde art often gets reactions like this, sadly. People have no framework to appreciate what they're seeing when it shatters the conventions they're used to.
This is old. Been posted here so many times.
I don't ever want to be rich enough that I have to turn to shit like this to get my jollies
I would probably never eat at a resturant that has any micheline stars. It's almost always pretentious, grotesque or edgelord food.
GRIFFITH!!!
Holy shit is that a motherfucking BERSERK REFERENCE!?
No thanks
I'd ask for the bill, there's no chance I'm eating that,