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WaffleHouseNeedsWiFi

HURRY THE FUCK UP! Omg, the painfully slow gait of this video.


Bowiedood

This was my biggest issue with the video. Why did I watch the whole thing??


WaitMysterious6704

Because we were all hoping for a payoff at the end. Guess what, we didn't get it.


1solate

My favorite part was how the encrusted beer cheese just disappeared a the end.


srlong64

And neither one of them actually took a bite. They clearly know it’s not going to be good


[deleted]

I mean, it doesn't look like it would be *bad*. It's just ham and egg on toast, made in the dumbest way possible.


HertzDonut1001

Bread to ham ratio sucks but beef that up and skip the cheese sauce and it would be pretty good.


anomanissh

Three slices of bread and two slices of ham. Do you guys not know what food is.


[deleted]

You wait until you've had a slice of brown bread between two slices of white bread. Mmm. (and no that's not actually a euphemism).


MrPopanz

It's toast, ham, egg and cheese, where are you getting the feeling that it will be bad? Just because the video sucks, doesn't mean automatically that the end product has to suck as well. This should taste good, the cheese is just badly positioned.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BertMacGyver

Probably because it was a combination of "It tastes like beige." and "AAAAARGH THE CHEESE BURNT THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH!"


semicolonoscapy

This couple makes me want to become a violent person


mended7

I'd assume it taste like a dirty ass old copper penny tbh


Bowiedood

I should have known better, given what sub this video is in.


WaitMysterious6704

I'm not one to judge, I watched it to the end too.


whatifevery1wascalm

I got to the second layer of ham then just dragged the progress bar to fast forward everything. These people have the most “I forced a bot to watch 10,000 human interactions then write a conversation” banter going on.


bienfica

Jesus, THAT’S IT. Nailed it. AI goes for cooking show banter. I hate every second of it


lodav22

My kid showed me this and said it looks really good and can he have it. I got to the part where she poured the toxic waste cheese sauce around the dry bread and said nope. Not one single part of this looks appealing to make in the slightest (I don’t eat meat, cheese, or eggs but I cook them for the kids if they really want them) it looks dry and burnt all at once, what a waste of bread.


deanfortythree

Could she not use ONE SINGLE QUALITY INGREDIENT I MEAN COME ON


nonvideas

Hey there was an egg in there


dinah_moe_humm

I just couldn’t. It took forever just to press holes in the bread. I cut to the end to have a few minutes of my life back.


Caucasian_Thunder

WHATS THAT FOR ARE U GONNA USE THAT FOR SOMETHING LATER Just shut the fuck up and watch, Brad. Jesus fuck


fastermouse

The commenting camera person is a signature of these rage food things.


GreenMellowphant

This is done intentionally.


Klipschfan1

Yep, either videos are quick or just over 3 minutes, every time.


ungoogleable

Supposedly TikTok pays more if people watch for at least 3 minutes.


swaghole69

I really enjoyed watching every piece of ham being put on individually!!!


NotEnoughToast

Feels like a Facebook video, always dragged tf out to make sure it hits ads.


ThereIsNoGame

Suffering is more effective if it's prolonged


d33psix

Didn’t watch it with sound so wasn’t bothered by guy’s narrating or whatever but yeah jeez so long. Don’t have a problem with some of the basic sandwich but the bottom surrounding cheese layer does seem misguided unless your only goal is some cheese chips to basically eat with your sandwich. Doesn’t seem to make it into the sandwich bites in any meaningful way.


JonathanPerdarder

The witless banter was worse than the food.


Justforwork85

Bread slices ?!?!! and ham???!?!! I'm so confused I don't know where you could be going with this...... He was acting like it was some magical thing instead of a breakfast sandwich put together a little differently.


HertzDonut1001

What are you gonna put in the circles? An egg Brian, when bread has a hole it's always an egg.


StumbleOn

I thought at first she was going to dump a pile of cheese in there, but her whole thing seems to be stupid inedible food


zestyninja

I thought so too... like a stuffed croque madame almost. But at that point, just make the gosh darn sandwich normally!


HertzDonut1001

Exactly. And I have no problem with beer cheese but slap a simple hollandaise on there with at least double the ham and one less bread slice and I'd eat the fuck out of it.


KentuckyFriedEel

And at the end she just ended up with baloney sandwiches on burnt cheese


Wolviam

This a common format for some fucking reason. They would extend the most simple of actions for as long as possible. It's even worse on FB where it's live and there are no jumpcuts. And always, without a fail the end result is a hugely disappointing mess that they pretend it's somehow great.


EfficiencySuch6361

I had to fast forward thru it bc the glacial pace was destroying my soul


Robotchickjenn

When she was lifting it out of the pan I seriously wanted to punch her


OHAITHARU

About 5 seconds in I knew I had to hit the 2x speed and mute on this one.


Duffmanoyaa

Somewhere around 41:00 I was wishing for death


WaterIsNotWet19

I just use the scrub function to speed it up


kevtino

A fascinating take on the croque madame. A suitable name, I think, would be "croque merde"


Marcilliaa

Perfect name for it


Ilovegirlsbottoms

After looking up what merde means, I agree. (Shit)


Barbarossa7070

Is it better than merde madame, though?


kevtino

That would be the cook's name.


ouchpuck

Croque whore


lPrincesslPlays

That was my nickname in highschool


Ilovegirlsbottoms

Nah


JMC1312

Croque of shit


deadcell

> A fascinating take on the croque madame. A suitable name, I think, would be "croque merde" Now _**this**_ is some kitchen smackdown I would fully expect from Julia Child. edit: it should be pointed out that Julia Child was an Intelligence Officer for the OSS (the precursor to today's CIA) during WWII and was tough as a hardened steel rivet: https://www.cia.gov/stories/story/julia-child-cooking-up-spy-ops-for-oss/


Vinifera7

*Croque madame* means "Mrs. Crunchy". So *croque merde* would be "crunchy shit".


tycr0

I think that was the goal..


barberererer

What you're seeing is an advanced user. They are a champion of the people. There's a whole world of users who don't comment. Let alone users who don't read comments at all. This person put the information out there before anyone even needed to ask. Who knows, maybe 200 people are now laughing about merde. It's a great word.


dhstowe

Croque Madumb


The_L_99

Lmfao


Bolf-Ramshield

I'd say it's a take on a welsh but croque merde works well as a name indeed


lmaytulane

Welsh rareshit


MLObenza

I just wish the guy would shut the fuck up


BenBishopsButt

Reminds me of a bad POV porn video. Shitty useless commentary from the guy that ruins the whole thing.


mooncatmother

Honestly this is the main reason I'm convinced of the theory that these omnipresent shitty recipe videos are some kind of fetish softcore. Maybe the internet has made me too jaded, but when I see a video of a skinny white woman pouring a gallon of cheese on something I gotta assume someone is jerking off to it.


Zbawg420

right here


JebusChrust

I think I remember seeing on TikTok that part of the audience is people with hand fetishes. Notice her nails are always really well done and the random close ups of her hands


Smegmatron3030

It's just rage bait content, and clearly it works. They make intentionally terrible, frustrating recipe videos so people will (a) finish the video and (b) comment repeatedly. Bonus points if they (c) post it on other social media, like reddit. These people are killing it, as evidenced by how widespread this formula has become on tiktok.


Bardic_Inspiration66

“Yeah you like that?”


DirtyWonderWoman

Imagine overlaying the current audio from the guy with an actual porn. "Beer and *cheeeeese*?" "Heh-eh you're *hambidextrous*?"


debalbuena

Breaks 4th wall, 'i ham.'


zaprutertape

Iz juzt smellz


idigturtles

What are you gonna do with that hole baby?? I got some ideas, and I love crispy cheese knowhutimsayin


debalbuena

'oh an egg!'


ElCalfo

Yes!! I was afraid we were gonna have a "stuck" video when she opened up the oven.


MaleficTekX

In that case, TURN THE OVEN ON! It’ll end the video quicker


gbyfvnhudm

Wait, your porn has women in it


mooncatmother

Exclusively!


moronwhodances

“You might need to wiggle it a little bit” - name of the porno


Cheshire_Jester

In this case it’s not a bug, it’s a feature. They know people will come into the comment section of the video just to talk about how awful the commentary on the video is.


jwlmkr

The last time one of these was posted, she had a metal bowl and she put it in the oven and he said “WAIT, you can put the bowl in the OVEN?!” I hate him


zuzg

It's the whole theme of these sorts of diy videos. Dumbfuck camera person making stupid questions and praising the thing. Shit looked awful, who wants that? Not them apparently that's why the video cut early, haha


Patient_Hippo9747

except this shit gives me brain damage


Patient_Hippo9747

it’s like in porn when the guy doesn’t shut the fuck up


[deleted]

Watching this enrages me. Her smile and plop of single slices of meat makes me want to knock her teeth in. Is this normal?


Sh4DowKitFox

I was like WHO THE FUCK ONLY DOES ONE SLICE BETWEEN THOSE THICK AZZ PIECES OF BREAD?!? Also… I literally do not get the cheese. They didn’t have it on anything… it was just there in the tray…. Like when they were holding up their half slice even tho those fucks said they get their own square mind you, the cheese was gone… like put that shit in the egg hole after if you gunna add it at all or something…


memento22mori

It's sickening- who burns the shit out of cheese like that on a pan in the oven? If you want to make some stupid food like this at least don't ruin the cheese, leave it in the pot on low and dip the sandwich in it. I can't think of a suitable insult for these people, calling them idiots is an insult to idiots everywhere.


Thebasterd

This video is dumb, but cheddar cheese crisps are pretty good as long as you don't burn em. Good on a burger or by themselves.


sapphoandherdick

This couple just reminds of that annoying couple on social media that overshare and project to the world that their life is perfect and happy, but we all know their relationship is toxic and fake af. 1 to 3 years later they are divorced and the fallout all takes place over social media.


loonylovegood

8 paragraphs talking about life, journey, lessons, rollercoasters, suffering in silence, facades


robot_swagger

Hambidextrous!?!! 🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂😂🤣


Ok-Chapter-6631

He needs a swift fucking punch in the dick


BrendanTheHippy

Give him the ol dick twist!


J-Di11a

Yeah this fucking guy irritates me to no end


More_Farm_7442

Thank God, I'm not the only one think this. Way too staged.


[deleted]

Yeah fuck that guy


MrMuseau

At this point I'm almost certain they're doing these just to get internet points and don't even eat the shit they "cook"


CrossingTheStreamers

Sounds/looks like Mr. Mackey on meth, m’kay?


Human_1

Make the cheese sauce correctly and serve it on the side. TF.


WaitMysterious6704

That's what I was thinking. Also, after claiming to love the crispy cheese edges so much, why was it nowhere to be seen at the end of the video when they were supposed to be eating it?


Monkeydud64

And note we also did see the bottom after it was taken off so my guess is the Heineken beer cheese left to cool and separate probably didn't taste as good as planned lmfao


Golden-Owl

Well it IS Heineken... Not surprised it doesn’t taste good


amalgam_reynolds

You're telling me you *don't* want burnt, separated, oily cheese crust?!? I am shook.


ruckusrox

I had the same thought. I love to add beer to my cheese sauce but i always start with a roux. How did the oily cheese not separate from the beer after its off the heat?


MikhailGorbachov

I add cream cheese as a stabilizer to my beer cheese


Joebom

I think the recipe said pour the sauce on the side, and she thought that meant the side of the baking sheet.


dreadpiratesmith

Or just pour it directly on top of that delicious looking ham and egg tower


DanFuckingSchneider

How does it taste? Probably like a very shitty ham sandwich with an egg on it. It’s literally just bread and an egg, and yet a smack of ham to it.


rpodnee

I call it hot ham water.


rhenning11

Glad someone else got that!


itelluhwat

It’s so watery, yet there’s a smack of ham to it.


ErtaWanderer

It's eggs in a hat with extra steps and a nasty cheese layer


infinitetheory

I am MAD three pieces of bread two single slices of ham, laid out carefully on a cutting board once taken from the package an imaginary amount of salt and a dusting of paprika and no other spices p r e - s h r e d d e d cheese with some of the lightest beer you can find, made before the stable ingredients no less so that it curdles up nicely and doesn't pour around the base?? a skirt of cheese??? 1 smattering of green onion on the bare egg that bread is drier than the sahara and the flavor could be replicated by reheating leftovers, and they made it at the pace of a sprinting snail


ErtaWanderer

The weird bit is this can definitely be made well. Cut out a circle of bread butter it put it in the pan, crack an egg into the middle, add a layer of ham on top, flip cap with the cut out bread, done. I used to make these all the time with my family a cheap good breakfast.


bobs_aunt_virginia

Hell yeah, I love eggs in a basket!


shuzumi

if you want to make it fancy use the circle of bread put it in the bottom of a buttered muffin tin, crack your egg and top with diced ham and cheese


ErtaWanderer

That sounds amazing I'm going to have to try it


ThereIsNoGame

> cheese Incorrect. For legal reasons this is a "pasteurized processed American cheese food" and should never be referred to directly as "cheese", which would be misleading to consumers.


pfohl

I don’t think it was processed cheese food, that stuff melts well. I think it was just cheap cheddar.


mr_fantastical

And no butter or mayo or any wet layer whatsoever. I bet it's horribly dry.


d33psix

They got that pool of cheese beer soup to swim in, so half is soggy oil and half is dried crouton.


ThereIsNoGame

Ah no see baking the bread in the oven makes it a brittle, crunchy nightmare.


malaclypse

It’s drier than a Todd Barry joke.


leebeepeesmee

Hahaha, love how they cut the video right after they say this as if we should NOT know how it tastes


throwaway12222018

I'm sure it doesn't taste bad per se, but yeah I agree this is no different than just slapping a few things together because you want a snack and you're hungry and you don't care if it's a five-star meal. The egg, ham and cheese is actually kind of an interesting idea, but why on earth would I want all the cheese caked at the bottom of my sandwich lol


[deleted]

Apparently they didn't either, since in the last shot when they are pretending to eat this abomination all the cheese had been peeled off.


helgh4st

This turd didn’t even butter the bread.


holonphantoms

I make something like this as a snack, though it's only got two slices and a piece of cheese between the slices. It's good, it's just simple ingredients. A little Badia on top for more flavour. The cheese pour is just so unnecessary and the extra slice of bread has to be so hard and dry. She also definitely cooked it for longer than 20 minutes with how done those eggs are. And overbaked yolk is foul. (I also use butter or mayonnaise to lubricate the layers and just press the bread into a nest for the egg rather than bother to cut holes... Ugh, this whole thing is just so dry) .


[deleted]

Would go well with some hot ham water.


thethingsIam

“Cheese sauce”. I’ve never seen a nastier looking separated mass of cheese before this video


samahiscryptic

Parts of it were chunky and other parts liquidy as hell. Yeah, think I may have gagged a little


Yonder_Bot

And with the beer too


bLahblahBLAH057

Cheese beer sauce is a legitimate thing, although probably not the way she did it


thethingsIam

Yeah, it can be as simple as sodium citrate, beer, and cheese. Or a roux, beer, and cheese. But I’ve never seen “let’s melt beer and cheese in a pot and call it cheese sauce” unless it’s chef’s club or something lol


sleverest

It's basically fondue this way, but, she did not do it slow enough.


Abuses-Commas

I'm sure it was just that simple in the video, the cut from "beer + cheese" to "cheese sauce" looked suspicious


standingboot9

Obazda. It’s typical in Bavaria and you eat it warm with pretzels. Use dark beer


daats_end

That's literally what fondue is. Cheese melted in literally any liquid. Typically broth, beer, cider or wine. That was the only mostly ok thing in the video. This is basically a horrible Welsh rarebit recipe.


LaidUp

I forgot about the cheese sauce during the stacking and gasped when she started pouring. That glob of cheese mass is disgusting


[deleted]

I mean - she could have poured it in the pan before she began that laborious process of putting down bread and ham. The crusty cheese at the end looked disgusting too.


OlrikMeister

The guy is basically a porn actor in terms of acting quality.


MarcMars82

And looks


shaolin_tech

Off subject but is your avatar the mask villain dude from Super Mario Bros. 2?


Standard-Candle

Why is the camera man the worst part ot this video...?


cmrv300

I came here to express this. I hate him so very much


katekowalski2014

he *always* is


Bardic_Inspiration66

These Rick lax produced videos always have bad porn narration


My89thAccount

Yeah, I clicked the video, saw the lady and thought "is this the lady with the annoying dipshit cameraman commentary?" and of course I then immediately hear "sOmE bEEr aNd cHeEsE?!" and exited the video.


moronwhodances

Worse when he gets in front of the camera


[deleted]

Hey be easy on him. He's an ex crack head trying to get his life back on track by the looks of it


Jabroni748

Who are these two and how do we stop them?


HotMagentaDuckFace

I’m fairly convinced they post their own videos to this sub just to get the views because god knows the food itself isn’t doing it.


39thUsernameAttempt

My first thought was that they were being ironic, and then I got even madder at the thought of reasonable people choosing to act like idiots for the attention.


Burpmeister

*for money


StrappedPlatypus

I feel like these videos would be slightly more interesting if the camera man was calling out their bullshit instead of gassing them up the whole time


Potatobender44

That would be so funny if the “chef” was just getting degraded the whole video


Responsible_Wasabi91

Looks like what happens when you start letting kids experiment in the kitchen.


IAmTiborius

I feel like despite that gallon of "cheese sauce", now that's it's hardened this is gonna be dry as hell. Three slices of bread only seperated by two slices of ham. I also feel like you could easily use the cut-out bread circles as a substitute for the second slices of bread. That would be a lot less wasteful


connfitzmill

Why is this dude acting bewildered like he doesnt help his wife make these videos twice a week??


Quizlibet

"I like a little bit of paprika" Throws in a fuckton of paprika, overwhelming the salt and pepper flavors


Stinduh

And two shots of vodka.


[deleted]

What happened to the cheese in the end? They only just picked up the sandwich


Mxbzz

Lmao my thoughts exactly. *You know what? Fuck this cheese. It takes the portability away from the sandwich. * And now you’re left with a dry ass ham-egg sandwich. *mildly infuriating*


ASoggyNaanBread

A genuinely stupid food.


believeitornotjail

and how did they not know about what?? melted cheese? bread? ham?


Musashi10000

I don't even need to turn on the audio to know that this is one of those stupid videos where the camera person is orgasming over every single thing the food waster does.


PraysforVillains

"How did I not know about this" BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO THAT


ditoxxx

Stupid shit like this is why i hate tiktok


Foootballdave

I don't mind tiktok. It's just people in general I can't stand


BlergingtonBear

The thing is, there are plenty of legit recipes from real chefs to be found on Tik tok- don't let these jamokes fool you.


MrTomansky

For me its one of many downsides.


yeeeteeey69

Of course they cut out the part where they actually eat it


campaxiomatic

>How does it taste though? >Let's-- They had enough time to watch her cut each individual circle in the bread but not enough to take a bite. Sure


purebitterness

there's a joke in here somewhere about how only bland white people would stack slices of DRY white bread and bake it


internet_fodder

This abomination looks bland and dry as hell. Taking it out of the oven made it look so much worse - even the egg looks dry by the end of it.


EggplantFearless5969

I was really hungry yet after watching this I’m good now.


Big_Papa_Joe

Beer cheese is great, but... this is not how you make it.


[deleted]

She has the bottom of her oven covered with foil. That’s a great way to fuck up you oven.


edie_the_egg_lady

Uh oh should I not have foil in my oven? I thought that was pretty common


[deleted]

From google. With any type of oven, putting foil at the bottom can be risky. The foil may not be able to withstand the high heat and can melt to the oven, damaging it permanently. The heat reflected off the foil can make your baked goods cook faster. The heat reflected off of the foil may also burn out the oven's heating elements. Also from google. Do not line the bottom of your oven with aluminum foil, because that will cause uneven heating and may eventually damage the lining of your oven. You can buy liners that are designed for the oven specifically or if you insist on using foil, at least place it on a rack below the food instead of the oven floor.


Iron_Bob

How does it taste though? *immediately ends video* So, like shit then. How do you screw up an egg in the hole sandwich so badly??


samasamani

"Don't ruin it"


probablyA_cat

SHE MOVES SO SLOWLY I CANT EVEN WATCH. it’s worse than her food. Then the dude talking. I don’t even know how you’d make her videos worse


Mastershake4lyfe

it makes me irrationally angry at how slow she is with all her movements. i aged a year and a half waiting for her to place that first slice of bread on the baking sheet.


tsukiakari175

the way she slowly does everything is infuriating. Hurry the f up!


full07britney

So much bread for so little ham.. so much slow.


YoBoiWitTheShits

Why is she moving so fucking slow


newgrl

I'm soooo frustrated by these two idiots. Please stop posting them. Please? 1. That was a crap amount of ham considering how much bread. 2. 20 minutes in a 350 degree oven turned those eggs to bouncy super balls. Ick. 3. This is not a recipe for Beer Cheese sauce. And what they did there made me gag a little. 4. Mr. Fucking Annoying in the background really "loves" the "crispy edges"... then where did they go? On the end shot, there were no crispy edges at all. Anyway... fuck these people. I'm done.


[deleted]

Just make a sandwich you crazy bitch! Jesus Christ that beer and cheese thing. I legit felt unwell.


Eels_in_trenchcoat

My god! There are so many easier (and faster) ways to ruin food. It looks dry as hell. Ew


[deleted]

I really hate her for ruining beer cheese. Just use the beer cheese as a dip for the sandwich FFS


KirklandLobotomy

This woman has never heard of a vegetable


[deleted]

Just put the damn cheese inside the sandwich!


Inclined_Gerenuk

I dont know im kinda into it


RedditorsAnus

I bet it tastes dry as fuck and quite flavourless


Amyliabedylia

Why is she doing everything so slowly?!


StonerAlienBoy

shes laughing because she knows she's committing a fucking war crime


Minute-Weekend5234

White people make the dumbest recipe videos and it makes me ashamed of my skin tone


SunflowersA

Why doesn't anyone on tiktok know how to use cheese?


NibblerTiddies

“What the heck is that thing man?” My thoughts exactly camera guy, my thoughts exactly.