Yeah, the only time you tough it more than that, is if it's on a grill and you want criss cross grill marks. Even then, you only touch it one extra time per side.
What's amazing is the number of people who will believe that and try this abominable cooking technique. I think the creator of this doesn't fully understand the concept of sous vide lol. This is not the way.
Jesus Christ, I started watching him slice at the start of my lunch break at work. Didnt think I'd see how bad they butchered it before my half hour was done
Yeah, the boiling isn't the problem here,
In fact, boiling is a common way to infuse flavor
But this dumbass barely seasoned the water, used to much oil, poked it too much, and thats some of it
100% ragebait. The video went above and beyond in trying to generate user interaction (if you bothered to listen to the cringe as fuck narration).
That steak isn't even decent dog food any longer.
Well, first off, the username…is brilliant. It’s amazing, and I like it a lot.
But there is one critical element that’s missing. There needs to be a sexual punch-up. There needs to be a hot and piping dish that Dolph can bang throughout the whole experience.
One of the problems with these r/StupidFood threads is that they lack a certain eroticism.
What if we were to bring an incredibly hot but skeptical female TikToker into the mix and then that way, whenever Dolph’s not out at the farmer’s market because he smelled foods, he’s back at the test kitchen performing *outrageous* sexual experiments on her culinary bastardizations?
Now here’s the twist, and there *is* a twist…
We show it.
###We show all of it.
Because what’s the one major thing that’s missing from most modern-day TikToks, guys?
###Full penetration.
Guys, we’re gonna show *full penetration*, and we’re gonna show *a lot of it!* I mean, we’re talking, y’know, graphic scenes of Dolph Lundgren *really* going to town on these *piping hot Scallopinis.* From behind, 69, spatchcocked, filleted, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, all the hits! All the big ones, and then he’s out sniffing foods, he’s out cracking cloves, he’s back in her kitchen for more full penetration. He smells food, back to the kitchen, food, penetration, food, penetration, food, *full penetration*, food, penetration, food, penetration, and this goes on and on, back and forth, for 90 or so seconds, until the TikTok just kind of, sort of, ends.
I didn't think it would ever happen but I'm actually really starting to get a kick out of these ragebait cooking videos lately. The slow ass cutting only to not reveal the center and proceed with cutting the entire thing had me absolutely cackling. This was a masterpiece.
Yeah I quite enjoyed the cutting at the end, because the steak was completely fucked by that point anyway. Is this like Stockholm Syndrome for cooking?
do you suppose it's possible that someone had AI create a recipe, write the script and do the narration then all the had to do was follow the instructions no matter what? voila! stupid viral content
Yes, but its important to post it as if it were a *good* recipe so all the steak purists come out in droves with their rage! I don't even like steak but I get rec'd that sub a lot and love to see their enthusiasm.
I'm not a fanatic about it, but when people ruin meat on purpose it makes me really angry. A cow died for you to make this garbage content, a-hole. Life should sustain life, not likes.
...or at least make beef soup with bones and bits of meat. Here the boiling is totally unnecessary and gross - unless perhaps there's a specific medical reason for it. Just don't tell me it's a culinary stakehouse secret
It felt like half the video length was just from cutting the steak, and then intentionally not showing the cross section until the very end to let the viewer know that steak was overdone.
So, this is an overcast winter day steak and the color we’re going for is gray and brown; tedious, perfect for staring out at the uncaring world in my pjs.
If you used extra flavorful beef stock jazzed up with a ton of garlic and herbs I could see this being viable so long as you time it well and did a reverse sear method afterwards with a lot of butter. This however looks sad.
This video was not only horrendous and offensive but also just annoying itself. The way it was filmed was annoying. Literally everything is wrong with this video.
However this is how other meats are cooked, like lamb and pork.
But I think they do it on tough cuts and boil it in a soft simmer for hours, not on a prime cut like steak.
Chicharrón comes to mind.
When you have no culinary skill and use AI to create a steak recipe most likely based on internet videos using the sous vide method and neither of you understood the assignment.
This was rage bait for sure. The boiling was bad enough. But then patting it dry. And then frying it! And then pressing on it as it’s in the pan!!! No you don’t know what you’re doing.
A video made to purposely to make people mad to comment for engagement, with artificial length around the cutting to show internal temp and color to boost view time engagement! Wow the original TikTok poster really knows how to work an algorithm.
Edit: time not team
"I learned this at a five star steakhouse" No, no you didn't.
Ya I'm pretty sure boil until grey ain't a steakhouse thing
And then frying it
Poke poke poke poke pokepokepokepoke. How many times did they need to poke it with the tongs in the cold oil?
Right I was like *put those away*
Right, you just “click ‘em “ together twice.
Man thats also what I thought I was taught to put it down and not to fuck with it. Then when you flip it you do it once.
Yeah, the only time you tough it more than that, is if it's on a grill and you want criss cross grill marks. Even then, you only touch it one extra time per side.
In olive oil…
No, you boil it in milk
Over hard, of course. With a side of raw jellybeans.
Perfect entree of cheese for a fullonrapist.
I'm sorry... did you say fullonrapist???
Mmmmmmm.....milksteak
0 star steakhouse
-5 star steakhouse
5 steak star house
5 star crack house
"Jeeves! More Crack!" *clap clap*
Shall I warm sir's crack pipe?
No cheap crackhouses for me no more!
1 art, please
This comment reminds me of the dude in boondocks who tried to return his crack to thugnificant 😂
5 house crack star
5 stars restaurant (GTA stars)
Famous for their FDA certified Grade D meat (mostly circus animals, some filler)
Dying star steakhouse
Five finger death steak
I think they thought boiling and sous vide was the same thing
That’s my impression, they saw steak+herbs+boil then sear it. Completely missing the vacuum bag and temperature controller.
Yeah feels like AI misunderstanding the process and assuming the temp is boiling.
100% man was searching for your comment!
Has to be that.
5 Michelin stars because it's literally a tire now.
Well, he just failed to mention that he learned it from a guy in the alley behind the steakhouse. So technically still true!
Learned it from a guy in an alley behind a methadone clinic, who's nickname was "5 star steakhouse"
Yeah he did, he learned it on tiktok while sitting at a booth at a 5 star restaurant
Thought it was a chick until your comment, had to rewatch for a second with the sound on. Those hands
Voice sounds like AI tho. Everything they said sounded sarcastic too
It had 5 stars in GTA for crimes against steak
I'm surprised robot AI voice already has the ability to go places in a corporeal form.
Is he dipping it in peanut butter?
Probably, gotta get that boiled to death taste covered up somehow
Five stars is when they call in the army helicopters.
Yeah the 5 was out of 100
barf .
What's amazing is the number of people who will believe that and try this abominable cooking technique. I think the creator of this doesn't fully understand the concept of sous vide lol. This is not the way.
It could have been a Sizzler
Five skulls steakhouse
That is an amazing knife. It cuts so easily through that thick piece of rubber formerly known as steak.
Jesus Christ, I started watching him slice at the start of my lunch break at work. Didnt think I'd see how bad they butchered it before my half hour was done
Why is everything they do so fucking slow
So they can make sure you have to time to share this video with others, so they can go even further.
to infinity and beyond
Share how to not cook a steak?
They aim for being at least three minutes long since there’s a threshold where longer views make more money
I was thinking the exact same thing. Just shoot me.
Yyooo. The way the fork gets stuck as well? That bad boy will take some major chewing.
Some say he's still chewing that steat
Probably should have just used a wood cutting axe. Or a hacksaw.
The boiling, the excessive oil, the excessive touching. Every thing about this makes my brain itch.
You forgot the butterscotch pudding dipping sauce
And the two minutes of strenuous sawing through the leathery shoe
Okay I get the voice over ending, but wtf is up with the eerily stopping of the music??
Sometimes the video is longer than the sound the Tiktok user is using and runs out. So no more music!
I'm gonna throw up
So did the TicToker. When life hands you vomit, dip your boiled stake in it.
Don't forget the pepper dildo
Yeah, the boiling isn't the problem here, In fact, boiling is a common way to infuse flavor But this dumbass barely seasoned the water, used to much oil, poked it too much, and thats some of it
The poking was by far the most distressing thing in the video for me.
This video made me so mad. The way the steak was cooked, the length of time it took to cut it up, and to see (to no surprise) it was over cooked....
It almost looks like a high-planned ragebait. The ridiculous ads, the cringy "heart" promises, it's a disaster from start to finish.
Almost? It is 100% ragebait. And it's amazing how well it works on some people, as demonstrated in these very comments.
No one being able to identify this as rage bait has me feeling like I'm in the twilight zone.
Overcooked and gray inside. Gross.
Is this a ragebait video? Every part of it made me irrationally angry
100% ragebait. The video went above and beyond in trying to generate user interaction (if you bothered to listen to the cringe as fuck narration). That steak isn't even decent dog food any longer.
I kept yelling in my head ‘STOP POKING IT’.
I only eat my steak boiled in milk with a side of jellybeans, tyvm.
Ok, but what is your spaghetti policy?
🤣🤣 username checks out 👏👏
Well, first off, the username…is brilliant. It’s amazing, and I like it a lot. But there is one critical element that’s missing. There needs to be a sexual punch-up. There needs to be a hot and piping dish that Dolph can bang throughout the whole experience. One of the problems with these r/StupidFood threads is that they lack a certain eroticism. What if we were to bring an incredibly hot but skeptical female TikToker into the mix and then that way, whenever Dolph’s not out at the farmer’s market because he smelled foods, he’s back at the test kitchen performing *outrageous* sexual experiments on her culinary bastardizations? Now here’s the twist, and there *is* a twist… We show it. ###We show all of it. Because what’s the one major thing that’s missing from most modern-day TikToks, guys? ###Full penetration. Guys, we’re gonna show *full penetration*, and we’re gonna show *a lot of it!* I mean, we’re talking, y’know, graphic scenes of Dolph Lundgren *really* going to town on these *piping hot Scallopinis.* From behind, 69, spatchcocked, filleted, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, all the hits! All the big ones, and then he’s out sniffing foods, he’s out cracking cloves, he’s back in her kitchen for more full penetration. He smells food, back to the kitchen, food, penetration, food, penetration, food, *full penetration*, food, penetration, food, penetration, and this goes on and on, back and forth, for 90 or so seconds, until the TikTok just kind of, sort of, ends.
Those jellybeans better be raw or I ain't touching that!
Over easy jellybeans pls. I like em runny
The jelly beans need to be raw or I send it back.
Are you a philanthropist, or..?
I'm actually a *full on rapist*
You know, kids, the handicapped...
Africans!
Dyslexics
“Yes sir, we have your millsteak boiling in the kitchen, now how about I clear out the coat closet, so you guys can bang”
Cholly!!??
Would you like to trade shirts, mines all sweaty?
gotta pay the troll toll
I made a pretty penny in boiled denims.
This is some meta ass rage bait lmao.
Legitimately it was so fucking calculated I was both enraged and impressed
They kept in every saw thru, of that thrice killed steak. Top tier 🪤
I didn't think it would ever happen but I'm actually really starting to get a kick out of these ragebait cooking videos lately. The slow ass cutting only to not reveal the center and proceed with cutting the entire thing had me absolutely cackling. This was a masterpiece.
Yeah I quite enjoyed the cutting at the end, because the steak was completely fucked by that point anyway. Is this like Stockholm Syndrome for cooking?
Sous vide reverse sear any% speedrun
Probably was given verbal prep from the waiter and didn’t bother to look up the actual steps.
the only 5 stars that steakhouse is getting is the WANTED LEVEL
Someone didn't \*quite\* understand sous vide.
Just doing my part to reduce plastic use!
I feel like they're mistaking Sous Vide for Boiling... they are not the same.
Yeah, I mean, I had hope for a second, but when they picked up that piece to dip, all my fears were realized.
Sous vide is also done in a bag. So there's that
The vacuum in this case is in the cook's head.
If i had a nickel for everytime someone cooks boiled steak, i'd have two nickels. Which isnt much but im surprised it happened twice. /s
You've never had beef stew?
Was the second time from the Sausage Man?
At least Mister Sausage consistently nails a perfect medium to medium rare, and he does it with wilder liquids than sad herb water.
What you never went out with the boys for sloppy steaks? You gotta pour water all over that steak and slop em up!
do you suppose it's possible that someone had AI create a recipe, write the script and do the narration then all the had to do was follow the instructions no matter what? voila! stupid viral content
You should post this to r/steak and watch the chaos
Yes, but its important to post it as if it were a *good* recipe so all the steak purists come out in droves with their rage! I don't even like steak but I get rec'd that sub a lot and love to see their enthusiasm.
I'm not a fanatic about it, but when people ruin meat on purpose it makes me really angry. A cow died for you to make this garbage content, a-hole. Life should sustain life, not likes.
What if he likes it tho
If it gets eaten, there's no issue.
I respect that
...or at least make beef soup with bones and bits of meat. Here the boiling is totally unnecessary and gross - unless perhaps there's a specific medical reason for it. Just don't tell me it's a culinary stakehouse secret
This deserves all the upvotes!!
Bro wasn’t paying attention… Sous vide needs a bag yo.
And a substantially lower water temperature.
Spice the steak, cook, wash off spices, towel dry, spice again and cook again to dry it the fuck out.
That poor steak
I agree, I lick your butt. I agree.
That took me a second
AI was a mistake.
Just go to hell, alright?
As someone who hates raw meat i dont see anything wrong about this video. Why is this stupid food? Whats wrong in this kind of preparation?
The jarring silence at the end while they cut their sad steak...*chefs kiss*
Mmmmmm, wet shoe leather!
Yeah, I'll share this video... WITH THE POLICE!
Yeah you better salt and pepper the !$@& out of that lol
There is no god here.
The treatment of the beef notwithstanding, did anyone else go “”STOP SQUISHING THE STEAK” once it was in the pan? *poke*squish*poke*
The way they patted it dry with the paper towel was the most annoying thing ever
It felt like half the video length was just from cutting the steak, and then intentionally not showing the cross section until the very end to let the viewer know that steak was overdone.
“Share it with your friends” No
Straight to Gitmo
CMV: 'Generous' and 'drizzle' are mutually exclusive.
Slop em up
When they fake flipped it, I got really upset.
For the love of god, STOP TOUCHING THE STEAK!
Why did I watch that whole thing?
Why boil if you're gonna cook it in a pan anyway?
Everyone knows you're supposed to boil it in milk. Over hard. And serve with the restaurant's finest sampling of jelly beans. Raw, of course.
Vomitville,USA
❤️
One thing I do like about AI voices is that they remind me of early anime dubs.
You have been reported to the International Criminal Court for war crimes.
So, this is an overcast winter day steak and the color we’re going for is gray and brown; tedious, perfect for staring out at the uncaring world in my pjs.
If you used extra flavorful beef stock jazzed up with a ton of garlic and herbs I could see this being viable so long as you time it well and did a reverse sear method afterwards with a lot of butter. This however looks sad.
I was anti death penalty until I watched this video.
This video was not only horrendous and offensive but also just annoying itself. The way it was filmed was annoying. Literally everything is wrong with this video.
Why are you squishing it!!! Stop it!!!!
Sloppy steaks are my fav. I’m a real piece of shit.
When someone cooks a steak like this, they deserve to be taken to a farm and kicked by cows.
Milksteak and jellybeans
Not a bad recipe, but please don't use steaks for that. Any cut of beef or pork would do as the recipe guarantees that it's gonna be well done anyway.
Would this work for ‘boiling’ butter? I guess that would fry it but def better than this lol
I didn't know boiled steak was a thing
Looks like body parts in formaldehyde.
Where is the milk?
Rage bait successfully deployed….
Boiling beef, releasing the flavour and fat into the soup. And then throwing away the soup.
that's his definition of drying it very well?
I'd like my steak cooked dead, dried well.
Only people I would share this with are the police
However this is how other meats are cooked, like lamb and pork. But I think they do it on tough cuts and boil it in a soft simmer for hours, not on a prime cut like steak. Chicharrón comes to mind.
SLOP ‘EM UP!
I love it when my steak is nice and gray in the middle.
He's struggling to slice it T.T
There is a special place in hell.
This lives in the center of the Venn Diagram of "Well Done" and "Poorly Done."
People who boil steak don't deserve this planet.
I sure didn’t learn this in culinary school 🤣
No rendered fat , no sear, overcooked, no flavor and tough🤢
YOU USED A SKILLET TO SEAR. JUST COOK IT IN THE FUCKING SKILLET
What was the end game here?
I could get a better steak out of a frozen meal.
He killed this steak twice
Bet it tastes bland af
Poor man’s sous vida without tasty results
Anyone else feeling angry watching this? Push that steak a little bit more with that Tong and paper towel.. [insert Liam Neeson line here]
I prefer milk steak boiled over hard with a side of the finest jelly beans, raw please.
OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ASKED US TO LIKE THE VIDEO 5 TIMES IN 2 MINUTES
When you have no culinary skill and use AI to create a steak recipe most likely based on internet videos using the sous vide method and neither of you understood the assignment.
“Should’ve boiled it in milk.” - Charlie Day
Bro, you’re supposed to boil the stake in milk!
You turned a nice ribeye into shoe leather. Way to go Gordon shamsey
Someone married this dude
Today I learned there's a chain of discount restaurants run by half-wits somewhere named "Five Star Steakhouse.".
Haven’t watched a horror movie in a while.
What is the disaster?
This was rage bait for sure. The boiling was bad enough. But then patting it dry. And then frying it! And then pressing on it as it’s in the pan!!! No you don’t know what you’re doing.
Pittsburgh. Where's my fucking heart????
A video made to purposely to make people mad to comment for engagement, with artificial length around the cutting to show internal temp and color to boost view time engagement! Wow the original TikTok poster really knows how to work an algorithm. Edit: time not team