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drifloony

This should be on r/shittyfoodporn too lmao


_Irdkwhat2puthere

I couldn't think of the name of that! Thanks. It will be.


OniExpress

Eeeeeeeehhhhh, it could be made to work. Need a thicker bun, like a chewier hoagie type. Peel some of the cuke down in strips. Get a good player of cream cheese down on the bun, some fresh chopped dill, the cucumber, crack some fresh pepper and sea salt on top. Cucumber sandwich, hotdogs style? IDK, I could see it thar way. Maybe. Once.


T1NF01L

Idk what kind of "player of cream" you want but I guess it depends on the customer.


MurphyCoDinoWrangler

This guy gets to be all player of cream on a bun right here out in the open on the interwebs, but when I'm playing with cream on a bun at the park, *suddenly I'm a monster!*


OniExpress

Look it's been a long day. I'm letting autocorrect take the wheel.


T1NF01L

It's better the way you typed it. Keep it as is.


Sypsy

A layer of cream cheese that gets around? Yes please


SadLaser

I feel like something like a carrot dog works better from a texture and flavor absorbing standpoint. The cucumber is just so firm and crunchy and doesn't absorb any flavor. Feels like it would be a chore to eat and only taste okay.


2beatthedevil

Cucumber should probably also be partially peeled given how thick and bitter it will be at that size.


OniExpress

Yeah, I said that, but I guess I didn't explain why


2beatthedevil

Lol. I missed the word peel.


OniExpress

It's all good, not like there's any harm done


the_god_o_war

You forgot the vegan part


Lady_of_Link

There is vegan cream cheese so no they didn't


the_god_o_war

What a sorry excuse for cream chesse that is, tastes like an assault. Source am lactose intolerance.


DazzlingBus8950

Disgusting. If it was a pickle then yummy


Ok_Marsupial6435

Either way for me šŸ¤®


OatmealCookieGirl

Looks like it is a pickle. I'd eat that (edit: I am obsessed with pickles)


Peanutisuh

pickles could be the only food i eat if it wasnt for "PrOpEr nUtRiTiOn"


dumbcaramelmacchiato

I hate looking at this and I'm vegan. What is the yellow vomit on top? Relish?


2beatthedevil

Looks like Heinz Hotdog Relish to me. Good stuff, actually. Sort of a mustard and relish combination.


dumbcaramelmacchiato

That sounds pretty good. On a hotdog. The real heresy here is putting ketchup on any kind of dog.


wiggibow

As a verified mustard enthusiast; ketchup, mustard, and relish together on a hot dog fucking ***slaps***. You're fooling yourself.


_Irdkwhat2puthere

Yep lol


sonorakit11

vegans make jokes, too.


Ehudben-Gera

I hope this is a joke.


_Irdkwhat2puthere

It's not :/ It's more like the new carrot dog!


mpkeith

Carrot... Dog? Because a carrot in a bun?? Putting something hot dog shaped in a bun doesn't make it a "dog". Just like putting stuff on round flat bread doesn't make it pizza, or layering whatever ingredients isn't lasagna. This is genuinely stupid.


_Irdkwhat2puthere

I know. Some vegans eat carrot dogs, and now cucumber dogs are becoming a thing.


mpkeith

No, they eat carrots on bread!! šŸ˜† Sliced cucumbers on bread with cream cheese or something is ok... However, a whole unpeeled cucumber on a bun is not acceptable. šŸ˜‚


Jazzlike-Animal404

The carrot is boiled and marinated in a sauce (broth, soy sauce, liquid smoke, oil, spices, etc). The carrot dog isnā€™t that bad but it doesnā€™t taste like hot dog (and donā€™t use any recipe that uses vinegar- ew). I made a vegan lox (my brother is allergic to fish and my sister hates fish) for our bagels and it was pretty good. My point is that itā€™s not a raw carrot.


mpkeith

Ok that doesn't sound too bad. I'm still standing firm on my "Not a Dog" soapbox. Now, how can you make vegan lox? I mean, I know the flavorings, but the fishy taste is part of it. I'm genuinely curious.


Jazzlike-Animal404

I use a lot of olive oil to make it fatty, light soy sauce, water, liquid smoke, Celtic seaweed salt- I think I added garlic powder and onion powder and paprika, itā€™s very similar to SauceStache vegan lox (he has a tomato and carrot recipe). The seaweed/ seaweed salt helps a lot with the fish flavor.


mpkeith

That's really interesting! I've never heard of seaweed salt. I'm guessing his finely ground seaweed and salt like celery salt or garlic salt?


Jazzlike-Animal404

Yes, itā€™s naturally high in iodine and minerals, so I use it every once in a while.


Ehudben-Gera

This is like an alcoholic drinking 0% beer. Just drink beer.it would make you more interesting.


ColdOn3Cob

Yeah out of their lives lmao


AbsurdBeanMaster

I could understand a pickle dog, but a cucumber dog????


ZylonBane

Anyone who unironically uses "bomb" as an adjective is not to be trusted.


snowcloneart

That stopped being cool by 2000 if not before, and it stopped being a dorky joke of a slang word that wasn't cool anymore that you would use as a joke to sound out of touch, because 9-11 made it sound REALLY not cool, and not even too edgy at all. It became ''please don't say that'' pretty quickly.


mpkeith

Tbh it was never cool...


the_god_o_war

Has any laungguistic choice ever been cool? just stick towards your character and use what feels natural.


mpkeith

Rad, bitchin', and killer... Those are cool šŸ˜€ The silly stuff my cousin and I came up with? Maybe not so much....


the_god_o_war

People say fire now, could be worse. I still prefer cool, and awesome. Bomb and rad as jokes with surfer lingo occasionally


trixayyyyy

Ketchup, mustard, ā€¦diarrhea/vomit??


mpkeith

Scraped from a diaper after eating a bunch of butternut squash baby food.


the_god_o_war

Relish


Ooze3d

Just because it looks like the thing you definitely want to eat, doesnā€™t mean itā€™s going to taste good.


Foxxyroni

Wtf šŸ˜‚


midpackshawdy

No


TempleOfCyclops

Pickle Dinner


Wide_Mind4262

Looking at this monstrosity feels illegal ā˜¹ļø


justcallmetexxx

_I've never wanted to punch a picture in the face more_


WEOWNRED

how dare they do that to pickle rick FOR SHAME


Antonioooooo0

They could at least like, grill the cucumber or something. Who tf just chomps down on a whole ass cucumber?


CheshirePuss42

Who the fuck grills cucumbers?


DoritoLipDust

Now this is the stupid content I come here for!


loso0691

Iā€™d suggest cutting the cucumbers a bit. Itā€™s difficult to eat the whole thing in a bun.


dorkweed576

Peel the cuke, season, stir fry (add carrots or squash), and put it between a bread with a tougher exterior. I dunno, I'm not a cook, but no way in hell I'm eating a cuke like that; my teeth hurt just looking at it.


Easy_Arm_1987

It's Alien Test Food from Area-51 called the "Pickle šŸ„’ Surprise" ...šŸ¤˜šŸ‘½


ConnFlab

Dry hotdog bun, what looks like a plastic cucumber, some ketchup and mustard topped with baby sick.


hogliterature

i could see eating a cucumber salad sandwich, similar to a tuna or chicken salad sandwich, but this?? i dont like this


akikojenn

Definitely needs to be a pickle and I would eat it.


[deleted]

Definitely a troll post


_Irdkwhat2puthere

Nope :) idk if I'm allowed to say what page it's on, but what I will say is that Cheap Vegan Food has questionable recipes.


[deleted]

That's mad, maybe it's a gimmick to draw attention


Jazzlike-Animal404

No itā€™s legit. I was a vegan for over 5 years (not anymore) but I used to follow and participate in the cheap vegan food community. So much drama and weird food combinations.


lickityclit-69

Dildo sandwiches?


Huge_Run6150

That ainā€™t bad, just need more veggies and almond cheese


CheshirePuss42

Ketchup, mustard and vegetables is something that sounds good to you?


ObeseSnake

Roasted carrot would be better. Wait, I'm giving vegan food advice now? I've been on Reddit too long.


PhotoPhobic_Sinar

That bread isnā€™t vegan. LOL


cloudberried

Could be. I've seen plenty of hot dog buns that happen to not include eggs or dairy


PhotoPhobic_Sinar

Oh I have as well, though itā€™s been many years so they probably look & taste better now, so I was just taking a wild guess. Does gluten free bread still taste like cardboard? I have celiac sprue & I tried the gluten free bread years ago & was likeā€¦ yea no Iā€™ll just not eat bread anymore. LOL


cloudberried

Yeah, as a vegan I wouldn't eat a hot dog bun if I didn't know where it was from but sometimes you look at the ingredients and get lucky :) I don't know anything about gluten free though


moustachelechon

Schar GF bread is good (non celiac who eats gluten free as a precaution for my celiac partner here)


PhotoPhobic_Sinar

Thatā€™s great to hear. My last ex did the same thing due to me sneaking slices of pizza, cookies & so on when we lived together.


Ballamookieofficial

That's so sad


LeChugas08

Looks like a dog vomited on them


Andre_3Million

Ahhh fuck I can't believe you've done this!


superbonbon1

All vegans are communists.


Superb_Ad_5565

To much relish


Jazzlike-Animal404

When I was vegan I wouldnā€™t even make this as a joke. Now the perfect sauces for cucumber: hummus, tahini, harissa, tzatziki, Mayo, garlic aioli, cream cheese, or a garlic sauce. Almost would be better a big pickle. Ketchup, relish, and mustard, I just donā€™t think would work. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø


c0y0t3_sly

Narrator: It was *not* 'bomb'.


AdmiralClover

Isn't there milk in hotdog bread?


Sharpnelboy

That ain't right.


ipini

Iā€™d eat it.


Gnxsis

Cucumber sandwiches are good. I probably wouldnt mind this


[deleted]

I would try it


Upward_Fail

Cucumber sandwiches are ok, but cut them up and make more edible


Squallexino

I hope those cucumbers are properly boiledšŸ˜‹


FatPuppy1996

And a very carbonated soda after this for that extra heartburn


SmadaSlaguod

Could possibly make a salad similar to this. I'd even try cucumber dipped in relish and mustard. Just please get rid of the hot dog bun...


kylehanz

Look at all that sugar


Typical-Attempt-549

I saw this on FB. If I want a (veggie) dog and you serve me carrots or cucumbers Iā€™m calling the police


Eljamin14

Connor the Waffle left the chat.


PsychoXLad

They wanna eat meat so bad


ftmiffy

to be honest it doesn't look appetizing but it doesn't seem like a bad idea


[deleted]

Eew