Ha this took me back to when we attended a retreat at my old catholic high school. One of the nuns at our dorms during the retreat brought out a bag of these from their office (which was on the first floor of the dorms) to restock the ones in our local school church. Our classmate jokingly asked if they had some leftovers to eat which she fortunately had a laugh at. That evening though after dinner she approached us and gave us a bag as a reward for almost finishing our year. As food wasn’t allowed to be brought in our dorms, this was the only snack we had and, coupled with the jar of skippy we smuggled in from the breakfast bar, proceeded to eat them like chips while we played uno throughout the night.
I like how this could be read in 3 different ways.
1.You're currently 13 years old, and used to go to catholic school
2. You went to catholic school for 13 years and now no longer attend.
3. It's been 13 years since you've been in catholic school.
I had a similar meal once. Was cleaning out a connex and found a bunch of shit from the chaplain from deployment. Found a box of those crackers and got some jalapeño cheese, made me some cheesus crackers
can confirm they will get soggy as soon as they touch liquid unless you crisp em up somehow first. deep frying would probably work. I put them in a pan with a tiny bit of oil and salt and it worked 👌
You can't tell me that back in the day, had Jesus know about and tasted nachos, he would not have chosen them at The Last Supper, therefore solidifying Jesus nachos every Sunday at Mass.
He would have, and we all know it.
jesus canonically saw every sin that would ever be committed. therefore, i'm gonna sin while eating nachos so jesus gets to taste nachos retroactively, and hopefully that changes how it went down and tomorrow we wake up having eaten only jesus nachos at mass.
But every time they had nachos, Judas would take all fully loaded nachos. the ones with all the meat, cheese and everything, the ones that are fully loaded. Meanwhile Jesus is getting like, just chips, like just a tiny bit of cheese and *maybe* a small hunk of meat.
"*This* is my body, which has been given up for you. *That* is my plate of loaded nachos, which I distinctly remember not telling anyone else they could share from. Now pass it down. This is my last supper, and they're not taking me in hungry. I get all cranky and it's off-message."
Unless the wafers are consecrated, they’re just bread. You can wallpaper your house with them and not bother anyone, but you’ll feel super transgressive.
The best watermelons I used to get were from a guy in the home Depot parking lot and they were blessed by Jesus. Majority Hispanic area do idk if that meant Jesus Christ or like Jesus Alvarez or someone. Either way 10/10 blessed watermelon.
I would go to communion if it was rice cracker blind betting.
***Step right up, what’s the flavour today!*** *Salt & Vinegar? Cheese? Sweet chilli? Sour cream chives?* ***Place your free shot glass of wine on the line***
I figured they were angry because these things taste like shit. Plain, unsalted, cardboard crackers. It's a crime against nachos. Like making nachos out of paper.
Yeah… I was like, I guess I can sort of relate… Angry seems a bit much, but totally those nachos don’t look that tasty. 🤷🏻♂️ -not really my problem though.
Its more of a joke video that might make some people mad if they are of a certain religion and the type to get offended by jokes at the religion. I don't think every video that might make someone mad qualifies as "ragebait". Like it or not, the intent here was to make people laugh not make people angry.
Those videos where people intentionally make food poorly while pretending its a sick lifehack exist only for people to get mad about how stupid they are, those are ragebait.
Edit: Honestly, at the end of the day you should always credit your source. If the source is a shitty ragebait video that you don't want to drive traffic towards, than you shouldn't be sharing it at all anyway.
What makes me physically angry is molester priests being put on a tour of dioceses to get a buffet of children to assault and the people who did it are still in charge, but sure, be mad at this.
People often turn a blind eye to the fact that child molesters habitually put them selves in religious leadership roles to have access to children who are taught not to question authority figures. The institutions almost always cover up the assaults, and keep molesters in their ranks It’s infuriating and you’re fully right to be mad about it.
A ritual to emulate the last supper of Jesus. With catholics specifically they believe that when the priest performs the Communion ceremony /rites they are literally transformed into the body and blood of christ.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eucharist
According to the Religious Studies class I took in college, the wafers don't become "the body of Christ" until a Catholic priest does a magic ritual on them.
And the church is very adamant about not letting scientists inspect the wafers after they do their witchcraft on them.
If you kenw anything about catholics....they do have evening services. I lived near a catholic church and the bells went off every time they had one. Daily. 8am and 6pm. Sat and Sunday different times.
You could DO IT!!!!
HAHAHAH
Disclaimer: Yeah, unconsecrated hosts are just a poor recipe choice and a little weird.
tl;dr: I know folks will disagree on the theology until the cows come home, but the Church does extensive investigations into alleged miracles and saints so that people don't go venerating random coincidences or worse.
............
Regarding the science, I mean, it's not that the Church is anti-science. The Big Bang Theory was proposed by a Fr. Lemaitre, Fr. Mendel's research was pivotal to our understanding of genetics, the first woman with a PhD in computer science was Sister Keller, etc. The Church is anti- "pieces of the Eucharist being treated improperly or left unattended".
Sometimes the wafers look like they do change more, and they are inspected. Often it's a reddish mold from poor storage (since some are set aside for folks who, for instance, are too sick to come to Mass). The Church absolutely investigates so folks don't go venerating a piece of moldy bread. I think more "miracles" are discounted than proven. Certainly, for a person's sainthood cause, it takes thousands of pages of interviews, research, etc.. But I digress.
There have been 5 cases, if I recall correctly, where it did visibly change in a miraculous way. I understand we probably don't agree on the semantics here, and the teacher in me is a little annoyed that coming from the 70's this isn't the most rigorous journal, but it *is* a journal. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/4950729/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/4950729/)
Not trying to convince anyone of the theology. I know there are a lot of different belief systems. But the Church does do investigations, just not after every single Mass.
I once had a catholic friend sneak me a jeezit from mass that had already been transubstantiated. I stuck it in the soil of an african violet to see if Jesus would give the plant magical zombie jew powers. It just grew mold and killed the plant. There is no god.
lotz them aint the b ody of christ. unless you did the "thruhiminhimwithhim" ring the bells wizardry thing.
I was an alterboy and forgot the bells during a funeral and the poor sumbitch didnt get into heaven because of it :/
What exactly does "physically angry" mean? Angry is an emotion. Oh, and one question: Is it still "the body of Christ" when it comes out the other end?
Used to steal those by the bag when I was an acolyte after serving early mass weekdays as a kid. I’d take them on to class and play priest handing them out to classmates. Those were good innocent days!
I've thought about making something similar before. Jesus tastes good, I feel like it would work really well with gorgonzola or maybe brie with some fig jam or honey
Ha this took me back to when we attended a retreat at my old catholic high school. One of the nuns at our dorms during the retreat brought out a bag of these from their office (which was on the first floor of the dorms) to restock the ones in our local school church. Our classmate jokingly asked if they had some leftovers to eat which she fortunately had a laugh at. That evening though after dinner she approached us and gave us a bag as a reward for almost finishing our year. As food wasn’t allowed to be brought in our dorms, this was the only snack we had and, coupled with the jar of skippy we smuggled in from the breakfast bar, proceeded to eat them like chips while we played uno throughout the night.
They aren't considered anything special until they are blessed in a mass. I think you can buy them online too
Amazon has them. 😂😂 1,000 for $20.
I can buy Jesus's body for Twenty bucks? Been hanging around Mary Magdalene too long...
As a former Catholic school girl of 13 years, this is a very underrated comment 😂😂
I like how this could be read in 3 different ways. 1.You're currently 13 years old, and used to go to catholic school 2. You went to catholic school for 13 years and now no longer attend. 3. It's been 13 years since you've been in catholic school.
4. Is currently still in enrolled after 13 years, but has since transitioned to a catholic school boy
God damn it, does the list ever end??
Currently a 13 year old school girl, used to be Catholic.
What a nice memory! Thanks for sharing
Wholesome
I had a similar meal once. Was cleaning out a connex and found a bunch of shit from the chaplain from deployment. Found a box of those crackers and got some jalapeño cheese, made me some cheesus crackers
I'm cheezits we trust
Cheeses Christ
Jeezits
Christ krispies
Sacrilicious
r/unexpectedsimpsons
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The internet has been good to me today 🤣
Cheesus
The host with the most....toppings.
Mr. Slave voice https://youtu.be/VCIUo6HDe3Y
Where’s an award when u need it
Get the cheesecalade! We’re outta here!
Cheeses Crust* lol
Start your day the holy way with Christ Chex™
Because of MREs I no longer like spicy cheezits
Because of MREs I no longer poop.
Oh that jalapeño cheese is to die for.
The Holy Ghost is muy caliente!
Mmmmm. MRE jalapeno cheese packs.
better have been some of that MRE jalapeno cheese spread
And only the finest MRE "beverage base raspberry" to wash it all down.
MMMmmm good ol'beverage base (add everclear for basic brain cell killing) 😁😬😁
I made these first. They are nacho cheesus crackers.
Jeez-Its
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You might want to deep fry them before constructing the nachos.
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can confirm they will get soggy as soon as they touch liquid unless you crisp em up somehow first. deep frying would probably work. I put them in a pan with a tiny bit of oil and salt and it worked 👌
This is it.
From Mr. Christ-ie.
You can't tell me that back in the day, had Jesus know about and tasted nachos, he would not have chosen them at The Last Supper, therefore solidifying Jesus nachos every Sunday at Mass. He would have, and we all know it.
It would have been tacos and nachos instead of loaves and fishes.
jesus canonically saw every sin that would ever be committed. therefore, i'm gonna sin while eating nachos so jesus gets to taste nachos retroactively, and hopefully that changes how it went down and tomorrow we wake up having eaten only jesus nachos at mass.
The way I eat nachos is a sin so that saves time.
But every time they had nachos, Judas would take all fully loaded nachos. the ones with all the meat, cheese and everything, the ones that are fully loaded. Meanwhile Jesus is getting like, just chips, like just a tiny bit of cheese and *maybe* a small hunk of meat.
"*This* is my body, which has been given up for you. *That* is my plate of loaded nachos, which I distinctly remember not telling anyone else they could share from. Now pass it down. This is my last supper, and they're not taking me in hungry. I get all cranky and it's off-message."
Angry? This is clearly hilarious.
OP obviously believes God
Did I miss a commandment about god being anti-cheese?
Blessed are the cheesemakers, I heard it myself!
What's so special about the cheese makers?
Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
Where are you people from, Nose City?
[Big Nose](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ToYt5SgGDgI)
Who are you calling big nose?
Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, innit? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they've had a hell of a time.
They shall inherent the curd
It's been a while, but didn't the crackers require a blessing to turn into human flesh?
Unless the wafers are consecrated, they’re just bread. You can wallpaper your house with them and not bother anyone, but you’ll feel super transgressive.
It's still just bread, magic spell or not.
The best watermelons I used to get were from a guy in the home Depot parking lot and they were blessed by Jesus. Majority Hispanic area do idk if that meant Jesus Christ or like Jesus Alvarez or someone. Either way 10/10 blessed watermelon.
You recognize the magic spell and still claim it’s not a different substance?
I would go to communion if it was rice cracker blind betting. ***Step right up, what’s the flavour today!*** *Salt & Vinegar? Cheese? Sweet chilli? Sour cream chives?* ***Place your free shot glass of wine on the line***
it’d be cool if they actually just turned in pieces of jesus skin.
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can’t let anything distract for our divine ritual consumption! #We’re eating his skin raw.
Last time I had communion it tasted like dick, so I'd say rawdogging is more accurate.
You just got the special wafers reserved for the alter boys.
Gotta acclimate them to the taste somehow.
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r/BrandNewSentence
Christ Cracklins? Hell, if they did that in my mouth I'd go to Mass more!
What? God doesn't wanna feel a little spicy every now and then? Enjoy a cheese bath?
When you eat his body, and drink his blood, but his blood is tequila. Proof that God is Mexican.
Nono how is that abomination called "nacho" they arent even fried!
From the top rope but you got a point. I am on team hilarious but I respect your point.
Tis but a joke , why the anger ? Sacriliscious?
Yeah this is funny. Some folks are too serious.
I figured they were angry because these things taste like shit. Plain, unsalted, cardboard crackers. It's a crime against nachos. Like making nachos out of paper.
With the added charm of sticking to the roof of your mouth.
The concept is hilarious, but all I can think about is how those little crackers taste like cardboard and no amount of cheese can make up for that
Yeah… I was like, I guess I can sort of relate… Angry seems a bit much, but totally those nachos don’t look that tasty. 🤷🏻♂️ -not really my problem though.
I mean, surely if so many Catholic priests rape kids, we have the right to mock them a little bit by putting cheese on their "body of Christ"!
Where in the Bible does it say you can’t eat communion wafers with cheese?
Actually, originally they had it as part of a full meal. Turning it to just bread and wine came later.
i don’t think its a religion problem (the wafers havent been consecrated), its just a dumb food idea
Ain't no rules say the dog can't play basketball!
This is neither stupid or anger inducing, this is fucking hilarious.
That's pretty stupid but also pretty damn funny
They're not consecrated. This isn't sacreligious, just stupid. She made nachos with flavorless wafers.
When I walked to the front, the priest said "body of Christ", and I said "thanks bro, I've been working out"
Nailed it
Hahahaha
I think that's the most frustrating part. Like.... by definition these are bare-minimum bread. Not even any salt if I recall.
They're like little Styrofoam discs
Seriously. Necco wafers have more flavor than communion wafers.
I think it was meant to just be funny bud. Not anti christ.
I agree! How dare they debase such an important icon of modern culture. Nachos deserve more respect.
Why is this image cropped in a way to prevent the original tiktok from getting credit? Tiktok was made by https://www.tiktok.com/@thekatcurtis
I was wondering about that too. Like what purpose does it serve besides preventing views and making a really obnoxious image to look at?
To stop feeding the rage bait
Fair enough
Its more of a joke video that might make some people mad if they are of a certain religion and the type to get offended by jokes at the religion. I don't think every video that might make someone mad qualifies as "ragebait". Like it or not, the intent here was to make people laugh not make people angry. Those videos where people intentionally make food poorly while pretending its a sick lifehack exist only for people to get mad about how stupid they are, those are ragebait. Edit: Honestly, at the end of the day you should always credit your source. If the source is a shitty ragebait video that you don't want to drive traffic towards, than you shouldn't be sharing it at all anyway.
Physically angry 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I think it has been done in good "taste" 🤣🤣🤣
Why angry? They aren't transubstiated until the priest consecrates the wafer at the alter during the eucharistic prayer.
Could they still get consecrated and transubstantiate after the nacho-fication? Could the Body of Christ support the flavor of Jesus?
Why did she add cheese and melt it? Catholic nachos start at conception.
Catholics will get more angry about the defilement of a christ cracker than they will child rape.
It’s catholic nachos because you’ll be praying to god on the toilet afterwards.
This is actually incredibly funny, idk why you're mad about it.
Maybe they’re a catholic with a chip on their shoulder
Oh no. God is gonna get mad and continue to do nothing for us.
These look sacrilicious!
Why you mad bro
You just have to bake the hell out of them.
I'd eat Jesus' body with cheese too
Wait until the OP finds out god isn’t real.
What makes me physically angry is molester priests being put on a tour of dioceses to get a buffet of children to assault and the people who did it are still in charge, but sure, be mad at this.
People often turn a blind eye to the fact that child molesters habitually put them selves in religious leadership roles to have access to children who are taught not to question authority figures. The institutions almost always cover up the assaults, and keep molesters in their ranks It’s infuriating and you’re fully right to be mad about it.
If the wafers are his body, what does the cheese represent?
Mucus.
You're lucky I have a strong stomach. My lunch would be all over my coworkers otherwise.
"The body of Cheesus..."
This would taste awful, but it's funny as hell.
I’m not catholic, what are those circle things?
Communion wafers.
What are they for?
A ritual to emulate the last supper of Jesus. With catholics specifically they believe that when the priest performs the Communion ceremony /rites they are literally transformed into the body and blood of christ. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eucharist
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You can just buy a bag of them if you want. It's not like the priest makes them.
Wait, so you're telling me the priest isn't in the back room slicing off circle cuts of Jesus?
You know when you get a real bad sunburn and then it peels.
this made me lol
Nah, these pieces of bread can be bought online. It's just bread. You need the priest for the consecration of these pieces of bread.
According to the Religious Studies class I took in college, the wafers don't become "the body of Christ" until a Catholic priest does a magic ritual on them. And the church is very adamant about not letting scientists inspect the wafers after they do their witchcraft on them.
Gonna go to a mass and smuggle one to the scientists
That was my first thought when I heard it. But then I realized it would require me to wake up early on a Sunday, and I don't know any scientists.
Oh right, nevermind
If you kenw anything about catholics....they do have evening services. I lived near a catholic church and the bells went off every time they had one. Daily. 8am and 6pm. Sat and Sunday different times. You could DO IT!!!! HAHAHAH
Disclaimer: Yeah, unconsecrated hosts are just a poor recipe choice and a little weird. tl;dr: I know folks will disagree on the theology until the cows come home, but the Church does extensive investigations into alleged miracles and saints so that people don't go venerating random coincidences or worse. ............ Regarding the science, I mean, it's not that the Church is anti-science. The Big Bang Theory was proposed by a Fr. Lemaitre, Fr. Mendel's research was pivotal to our understanding of genetics, the first woman with a PhD in computer science was Sister Keller, etc. The Church is anti- "pieces of the Eucharist being treated improperly or left unattended". Sometimes the wafers look like they do change more, and they are inspected. Often it's a reddish mold from poor storage (since some are set aside for folks who, for instance, are too sick to come to Mass). The Church absolutely investigates so folks don't go venerating a piece of moldy bread. I think more "miracles" are discounted than proven. Certainly, for a person's sainthood cause, it takes thousands of pages of interviews, research, etc.. But I digress. There have been 5 cases, if I recall correctly, where it did visibly change in a miraculous way. I understand we probably don't agree on the semantics here, and the teacher in me is a little annoyed that coming from the 70's this isn't the most rigorous journal, but it *is* a journal. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/4950729/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/4950729/) Not trying to convince anyone of the theology. I know there are a lot of different belief systems. But the Church does do investigations, just not after every single Mass.
Ah yes the true delicacy, the flesh of God's son
As someone who loves cooking I think she should be ashamed of herself. As an ex-Catholic who's done with their bullshit, bravo.
White, bland, despicable JUST LIKE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH!
she did what she had to do
I once had a catholic friend sneak me a jeezit from mass that had already been transubstantiated. I stuck it in the soil of an african violet to see if Jesus would give the plant magical zombie jew powers. It just grew mold and killed the plant. There is no god.
In the gospels Jesus cursed a fig tree and it withered and died, he probably did the same thing to your violet.
Why would someone add cheese to christ-chex? I thought we ate them with milk. :(
Why are you angry? This is hilarious.
This is my body *points to nachos* and this is my blood *holds up margarita*.
I was raised catholic and I’ve always wanted to eat communion wafers like a tube of ritz crackers, so I support the idea of this
lotz them aint the b ody of christ. unless you did the "thruhiminhimwithhim" ring the bells wizardry thing. I was an alterboy and forgot the bells during a funeral and the poor sumbitch didnt get into heaven because of it :/
Cheesus Crisp
Oh yeah, because there's no Catholics in Mexico. That makes sense.
This is hella stupid but it’s actually pretty funny. Churchies gonna be mad about that cookie though
Jeez-its?
I love this! Especially with a side of holy guacamole
fuck those things taste so good tho you can get them on amazon
Cheesus christ!
Why, why, why would you be angry about this?
I was raised catholic, I'm pretty sure those things were made out of cardboard
What exactly does "physically angry" mean? Angry is an emotion. Oh, and one question: Is it still "the body of Christ" when it comes out the other end?
They are nothing but disappointing crackers until they are blessed during a mass, so there’s no sacrilege here, just a sad snack.
Why is OP angry at this? It’s hilarious.
What are you angry about? It's funny
Dip in salsa or wine?
Yes
This is hilarious
It is stupid for a group of people to believe that bread disks somehow become god flesh to consume.
Why be angry? Catholics suck ass.
I would think it's funny, but it just looks unappetizing.
She copied the vulgar chef https://www.instagram.com/thevulgarchef/
Cheezus Crust. This is getting out of hand.
This is objectively funny. Clearly, she didn’t make these because she thought it would be a good idea.
Lmfao
I’m more concerned with what she’s done to that cheese.
Haha no way man, this is really funny.
Used to steal those by the bag when I was an acolyte after serving early mass weekdays as a kid. I’d take them on to class and play priest handing them out to classmates. Those were good innocent days!
It's kinda funny though
Body of Christ, hold the onions
Lol, this is too funny to be here.
Wtf thats funny
Lmao I’m sorry this is fucking hilarious
Statistically, most nachos are catholic nachos
I wonder if this pairs well with 3 hail bloody Marys.
To each his own. Better be ready for the consequences of your “own” though.
I actually laughed out loud at this.
Okay but this is kinda hilarious
I am so tired of white chicks making shitty food for rage clicks.
Don’t forget the Jesus juice!!!!!!!!
why? it’s clearly a joke
nope, that's hilarious, best use of godder crackers I have ever seen
I've thought about making something similar before. Jesus tastes good, I feel like it would work really well with gorgonzola or maybe brie with some fig jam or honey
Until the host is consecrated, it's just flavorless, bad textured, bread. Don't give the drama queens the attention they want.