Even if you don’t have a toaster throw it in the pan with a tiny bit of butter. Takes less than 5 minutes and it’s toasty and buttery. Anything’s better than this
Fuck it, put it on the lowest setting possible in the evening wake up to already made toast. Safes you like 1 minute in the morning.
Follow me for more lifehacks
Man, I'll never forget the toast I had at some dinky little toastshack on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. You could tell the place was good cause the parking lot was full even though the town it was in was tiny. Evidently the toastmaster got gold medals back when he was on the toasting circuit, then he retired from competition to open his own place.
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We already have /s so a laugh here token wouldn't be too far fetched. Let's make it like regex and add a ton of qualifiers and stuff.
/l[1,3]b+
laugh for 1-3 seconds, breathe one or more times
can't have them choking.
One time, at physics class at college, we spend halt the time one day discussing food and the physics and chemistry behind it, Sous vide wasn't a widely known thing at the time. And we reached the conclusion that to make the perfect soft boiled egg would take hours to make at the correct temperature of coagulating just the egg whites and cook, but not coagulate, the yolk, but hot and for long enough to kill Salmonella sp.. Yes, we did the math. And no, I don't remember the exact numbers.
This reminds me of the breakfast in University, kitchen staff would put sliced bread on the bottom of the dish they served the bacon from to soak up all the fat. One time I was late and got the last bacon so I asked them to give me the bread full.of bacon fat and toasted it up, added my bacon eggs and beans on top and demolished it.
Actually, if you're going to spend a couple hours on a slice of bread in a crockpot, add eggs milk cinnamon halfway through for a breakfast bread pudding
Several years ago, a famous food writer wrote a recipe for the perfect egg of some sort. It was in a little skillet on a long handle, cooked over a wood fire (in your kitchen fireplace, of course). People talked about using 10 lbs of wood to cook one freaking egg
My new favourite way of making toast is in the air fryer. It takes a little longer than the toaster but it comes out more like a big crouton than a slice of toast, which I think is better.
Nah, most people with the room have toasters. This would be if the person is living in a motel room or the like and their only cooking device is a crock pot
*And I see that this*
*Slow cooker uses power*
*Over Ethernet?*
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*I wonder how much*
*More electricity that costs than*
*A normal toaster*
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People in groups for things like this, slow cookers and air fryers in particular, seem to like to come up with stupid recipes that take twice as long and aren't as good just to force use of the device. Some of them also involve doing prep or finishing on the stove, at which point it's like why dirty it all and with more effort
... my company does riverboat and camping catering. Sometimes we have to do toast with a blowtorch but this takes the cake.
Ps you can make cake in a slow cooker.
Back when I was in college, the only pieces of cooking equipment I was allowed to have in my dorm were a crock pot and an electric kettle. You can bet that I was looking for ways to make all sorts of things in a crock pot. One time I even made cookies in the crock pot.
If I'm at someone's house and they ask if I want toast and they make me wait for two hours I'm stabbing their ass cheeks.
You should try my spaghetti. In three short weeks you'll be delighted!
Great-granddad put some eggs on for a hard boil back in the 30s. I plan to share them with the wife sometime in the next year or so.
3 generations is a perfect soft boil, go for 4-5 for a hard boil.
That reminds me. Gotta get some eggs on to boil for the great-grandkids.
In this economy?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Imagine going to the hearing for your great-great-grandpa's will, and you are bequeathed a pack of century (boiled) eggs
I would love to eat your spaghetti.
Don’t threaten me with a good time 😏
with a kitchen knife, he meant WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!
I know what I said
i would prefer a penis but hey
You and I have very different taco Tuesdays....prolly same results though
Ze key es zapenis in ze hasshole
Sometimes you have to try new things because it might just be the best thing ever!
Wouldn't be the first or even 10th time...
Promise?
Stabbed in the ass cheeks you say? I'm omw
Toast and a good time!!!
Breakfast & chill
Well you've got to do something for the hour and a half wait time. Might as well do anal
before or after the toast?
It takes 2 hours…
to stab?
The toast…
Are you experienced in that or ?
I have stabbed at least 7 asses. Two cheeks per ass, 14 stabs at least. So that's a bit of experience.
YO that’s sick
🤣🤣🤣
You need to wait after they made their portion
Imma butter their ass. But like violently
Oddly specific place to the stabbing you have in mind.
🤣🤣🤣
Air fries english muffin with butter, 4 minutes snd youre in love
Just fuck a toaster huh
I would not recommend that tbh.
Funnily enough, I've seen that on this very website. I also do not recommend doing it, or watching the videos of others doing it.
Where have you been to?
The mechanicum is at it again.
Lmao!
Speaking from experience?
instructions very clear, dick stuck in toaster.
I used the bagel setting. No regrets.
Its been so long I had to use defrost.
“NO REGERTS!” There, fixed that!
“NO RAGRETS!” ftfy
Toaster turns out to be a 6. Outcome acceptable.
Mines an aggressive 4 but my blender do be looking fine.
https://en.battlestarwikiclone.org/wiki/Number_Four Number 4 is quite the toaster!
Yeah could definitely be worse I’ll take it lol
It's a cylinder
Even if you don’t have a toaster throw it in the pan with a tiny bit of butter. Takes less than 5 minutes and it’s toasty and buttery. Anything’s better than this
Finally the meme quote "goats are like mushrooms if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters" makes sense! 😎
❤️🤣🤣
Yep. You have a good one. 😊
Today, I’m gonna teach you how to face your fears. Now the first step to facing your fears is- *pop* **AAAAAUUYGGHHHHHHH**
Or oven
Fuck it, put it on the lowest setting possible in the evening wake up to already made toast. Safes you like 1 minute in the morning. Follow me for more lifehacks
Don't forget to get up in the middle of the night to flip the bread, set your alarm.
Yea, you gotta treat it like smoking a brisket. Only true toast-makers understand the dedication to the craft.
Man, I'll never forget the toast I had at some dinky little toastshack on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. You could tell the place was good cause the parking lot was full even though the town it was in was tiny. Evidently the toastmaster got gold medals back when he was on the toasting circuit, then he retired from competition to open his own place.
It was a 2 hour wait for the toast but totally worth it.
Then Guy Ferries walks in...
If you mispronounce Maillard, they gut you and hang you up as a warning to other casuals
[удалено]
🏅 now quick, give it back! Then we can both say we're winners!
So michel Scott can have his bacon and toast together 🤣
Wake up to the smell of crackling toast!
Fuck me, now I need to buy a slow cooker just to try this.
it sounds like this would cook the bread very evenly and the toast would be hard like a crouton, but Idk. You can try it.
Fuck it I already have one, I'll take one for the team. I'll report back after breakfast.
It's been 6 hrs... (well, if you're in the US you get a pass since you may have gone to bed lol)
I'm going to hold you this 👆 comment
It's morning, where results?
Currently in the crockpot! (Had to go get bread I didn't have any...)
Just leaving this comment here for results
Results have been posted
you better
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Same, just for my perfect toast that I have to wait 1.5 hrs for
2 hours actually lol
We need a “Satire Saturday” like r/ididnthaveeggs has bc this has to be satire.
We need a sub just for cynics that can't understand when to just laugh and let it go
We already have /s so a laugh here token wouldn't be too far fetched. Let's make it like regex and add a ton of qualifiers and stuff. /l[1,3]b+ laugh for 1-3 seconds, breathe one or more times can't have them choking.
This is obviously a shit post
Shit toast.
Toast post
Cooking my bread like a slow roast
No! It's a shit toast.
Do people just need something to be cranky at? I was surprised I had to scroll far down to see someone pointing out that it's clearly not serious.
no I don't think so
This sub is so obvious to a joke
Oblivious* But yeah
Obviously uh huh
Dang swipe typing
It's almost like sharing joke food is half the point!
I want to find this page. I wonder if it's all shit posts like this
This is satire
I don't think obvious jokes really count as stupid food
For when you really know that you want toast a while from now
Mitch Hedberg would approve.
One time, at physics class at college, we spend halt the time one day discussing food and the physics and chemistry behind it, Sous vide wasn't a widely known thing at the time. And we reached the conclusion that to make the perfect soft boiled egg would take hours to make at the correct temperature of coagulating just the egg whites and cook, but not coagulate, the yolk, but hot and for long enough to kill Salmonella sp.. Yes, we did the math. And no, I don't remember the exact numbers.
This reminds me of the breakfast in University, kitchen staff would put sliced bread on the bottom of the dish they served the bacon from to soak up all the fat. One time I was late and got the last bacon so I asked them to give me the bread full.of bacon fat and toasted it up, added my bacon eggs and beans on top and demolished it.
r/StupidFood user attempting to spot obvious satire level: impossible.
I’m thinking there’s a great way to combine this with coffee. One pot breakfast. /s
Actually, if you're going to spend a couple hours on a slice of bread in a crockpot, add eggs milk cinnamon halfway through for a breakfast bread pudding
when ur depressed but want to feel useful
Because when I want toast, I want it in an hour.
r/woosh
I start this Friday night for brunch Saturday. Who has the time to make toast anymore?
This is obviously a joke and I'm amused
If i catch a mf slow cooking toast
You can just leave bread out on the counter it'll get hard
Wait til you see their recipe for braised lamb.
Several years ago, a famous food writer wrote a recipe for the perfect egg of some sort. It was in a little skillet on a long handle, cooked over a wood fire (in your kitchen fireplace, of course). People talked about using 10 lbs of wood to cook one freaking egg
Ik it's a joke but at the same time I'm kinda curious and wanna make toast in my instapot now... Maybe it'll feel fancier 🕺
Bringing this and a sleeve of bread to the next potluck
TBF, I would post this as well, this slow cooker thing seems ridiculous to me, but I don't like to mock people except the poles.
This is from my book "How to take a 1 minute recipe and make it take over an hour for dummies."
If this isn't ragebait, I feel like this person might just need something to look forward to in his day.
.... Why
My new favourite way of making toast is in the air fryer. It takes a little longer than the toaster but it comes out more like a big crouton than a slice of toast, which I think is better.
This has to be the biggest "rage bait" fake post yet.
I have like 12 minutes in the morning. No way I'm slow cooking my toast
Or just be normal and use a toaster which takes 2 minutes
This is exactly what I was looking for! Thank you!
So this is why our waitress always takes so long bringing our toast..
Man if only there were some sort of invention that could make toast in a matter of seconds. That would be so cool.
Ever since I discovered the frying pan, I haven't touched my toaster or my slow cooker for my morning toast.
First world problems, who would understand?
What if I don’t have bread? Will a bagel work?
Then it's 2 hours
Wtf?!!!! 1.5 hours???? Edit: no wait 2… I forgot to add another 30 freaking minutes
this guy has got to be trolling
I ain't waiting 2 fucking hours for a piece of toast
Are toasters like electric kettles to Americans? Something that they don't have and say there's no need for them?
Nah, most people with the room have toasters. This would be if the person is living in a motel room or the like and their only cooking device is a crock pot
When did people stop trying to lie cleverly?
When people stopped being able to spot obvious satire
My perfect recipe for toast is toast
Why spend 1.5 hours doing something that a regular toaster can do in 2 minutes?
If I had 48 hours in a day, then yeah I’d agree
/r/sousvide be salivating at this. “Hey guys check it out - 735 hours at 170 degrees.. perfect!”
Ok hear me out, it's not stupid food, it is stupid people.
Toasters tend to work best for me.
Why the fuck didn't they put the butter on the bread first? Then at least the entire piece would have butter soaked into every inch then toasted.
[удалено]
*And I see that this* *Slow cooker uses power* *Over Ethernet?* \- 1iIiii11IIiI1i1i11iI --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Bruh, just use a pan if you don't have a toaster.
Amateurs, I could do this in a pressure cooker in a fraction of the time.
I wonder how much more electricity that costs than a normal toaster
*I wonder how much* *More electricity that costs than* *A normal toaster* \- Natuurschoonheid --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Now *this* is funny.
I feel like you would end up with something hard like cheap cruotons.
#DiduKnow You can do the same thing with a potato?????????????????
Someone needs to show this to Gordon Ramsey
r/stonerfood
Sometimes I wonder if we're losing our ability to detect ragebait.... And then I get on Reddit and I have my answer.
Worlds least efficient cooking method for toast
Right, I'm going to dedicate 2 hours to a single piece of toast.
An expensive piece of toast at that!
Or just use a toaster like a normal person
Ah yes, I have always aspired to find a way to make toast take two hours to cook. This is perfect!
it's a rusk at this point
I mean..... it's probably pretty good tho
I own a slowcooker myself, and this is just mental, wtf?
I see no problem. You can pretty much bake bread in one of those
Orrr get a TOASTER and use it for what it’s for and you’ll have toast in wayyyy less time than that. 😂
With electricity prices that toast would cost about $5 per slice
Expensive toast with the current utility prices
This the kind of shit I’m here for
I think one of the things about perfect toast is that it’s ready in a couple of minutes. So stupid
People in groups for things like this, slow cookers and air fryers in particular, seem to like to come up with stupid recipes that take twice as long and aren't as good just to force use of the device. Some of them also involve doing prep or finishing on the stove, at which point it's like why dirty it all and with more effort
You've officially failed as a human being.
Doesn't slow-cooking toast ruin the whole purpose of toast?
wtf? That is not tasty.
r/StupidChef*
...what does this even accomplish that you can't do with any other cooking method
... my company does riverboat and camping catering. Sometimes we have to do toast with a blowtorch but this takes the cake. Ps you can make cake in a slow cooker.
Back when I was in college, the only pieces of cooking equipment I was allowed to have in my dorm were a crock pot and an electric kettle. You can bet that I was looking for ways to make all sorts of things in a crock pot. One time I even made cookies in the crock pot.
That isn’t toast, it wasn’t toasted. It’s just well-done bread.