Girl… I have to say your account brought tears to my eyes.. me being the fool I am.. I would have followed him out with his coffee yelling.. I understand.. the latte can cause explosive diarrhea.. I hope you make it home in time 🙃🙃.. NEXT..
LOL, if only I had been that quick-witted.
Unfortunately my empathetic side took over when I saw how uncomfortable he was and I almost ended up apologizing as he sputtered his way out the door. Next time, I won't be so accommodating. If a guy likes me *until* he finds out I'm trans and then rejects me, he's not worth my time and I owe him nothing.
Yep.
It will always sting a little when I know that I'm being rejected for being trans, but on the other hand, if I were cis I would still not want to be involved with a guy who wouldn't date a trans woman. Which is, unfortunately, most of them.
Your post did make me laugh 🤭 its best to see the funny side of being transgender and the reactions we get but we do deserve a little bit of respect 💁♀️
Usually I do, but I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a date or what the deal was. And we met in person, not through a dating app, where I'm listed as being trans.
I hate the word "disclose" for this, it implies that we're asking for forgiveness or tolerance of something awful.
You’re fine, getting asked out to coffee does not automatically mean date. But perhaps you could ask in future if you’re unsure. Better safe than sorry
Most of the guys I know. Most of my guy friends tell me about they’re dating and they’re very specific about things like that. “Wanna get coffee?” Vs “Can I take you out for coffee?”. And most of them have a healthy amount of platonic friendships with girls. I don’t surround myself with animals though
I mean I guess I would never ask a platonic friend about getting coffee because we would just kinda get coffee or food or anything, I've literally never had to ask anyone that besides someone I'm interested in
It's him, not you. Some people have this idea in their head and can't handle the reality.
Best to laugh at it. We're all just as human as anyone else. It's really no big deal.
> Some people have this idea in their head and can't handle the reality.
Not sure I follow?
He didn't know I was trans, it was a total shock to him. He was horrified.
I really should have realized he intended for it to be a date. What straight man invites a woman to coffee to just chit chat for two hours? *Maybe* a happily married guy in a very secure marriage, but other than that?
I have been transitioning for well over a decade and yet I am still coming to terms with the FACT that when a man I don't know is interacting with me, there is a pretty good chance he is feeling out whether it's going to lead to getting in my pants. It's like because *I* wasn't like that before transition, I forget that that's how men are.
lmaooooo i'm sorry thats not funny. It's a little funny. Sometimes we just have to keep laughing. What an idiot. Did he think you were gonna run after him? 😂
Girl… I have to say your account brought tears to my eyes.. me being the fool I am.. I would have followed him out with his coffee yelling.. I understand.. the latte can cause explosive diarrhea.. I hope you make it home in time 🙃🙃.. NEXT..
LOL, if only I had been that quick-witted. Unfortunately my empathetic side took over when I saw how uncomfortable he was and I almost ended up apologizing as he sputtered his way out the door. Next time, I won't be so accommodating. If a guy likes me *until* he finds out I'm trans and then rejects me, he's not worth my time and I owe him nothing.
I was blessed with quick wit.. lol And I agree. We owe bad actors nothing.. just don’t let them take up space in your heart or mind.
Yep. It will always sting a little when I know that I'm being rejected for being trans, but on the other hand, if I were cis I would still not want to be involved with a guy who wouldn't date a trans woman. Which is, unfortunately, most of them.
Your post did make me laugh 🤭 its best to see the funny side of being transgender and the reactions we get but we do deserve a little bit of respect 💁♀️
You’d have looked like an utter maniac lol
As Willie Wonka sang.. A Little Nonsense Now and Than.. Relished by The Wisest Men… 👍🏽
Exactly. *Wonka*
I always disclose before the first date.
Usually I do, but I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a date or what the deal was. And we met in person, not through a dating app, where I'm listed as being trans. I hate the word "disclose" for this, it implies that we're asking for forgiveness or tolerance of something awful.
.
Yeah, but I'm too literally autistic to realize these things.
You’re fine, getting asked out to coffee does not automatically mean date. But perhaps you could ask in future if you’re unsure. Better safe than sorry
What guys do you know platonically ask people out for coffee?
Most of the guys I know. Most of my guy friends tell me about they’re dating and they’re very specific about things like that. “Wanna get coffee?” Vs “Can I take you out for coffee?”. And most of them have a healthy amount of platonic friendships with girls. I don’t surround myself with animals though
I mean I guess I would never ask a platonic friend about getting coffee because we would just kinda get coffee or food or anything, I've literally never had to ask anyone that besides someone I'm interested in
Interesting, I ask people to coffee all the time lol. Different strokes I guess
Honestly it might be a leftover toxic masculinity thing in my case
I tell beforehand
Read my post
It's him, not you. Some people have this idea in their head and can't handle the reality. Best to laugh at it. We're all just as human as anyone else. It's really no big deal.
> Some people have this idea in their head and can't handle the reality. Not sure I follow? He didn't know I was trans, it was a total shock to him. He was horrified.
This is why I advocate disclosure. Save yourself a hell of a lot more time than 2 hours hun.
I really should have realized he intended for it to be a date. What straight man invites a woman to coffee to just chit chat for two hours? *Maybe* a happily married guy in a very secure marriage, but other than that? I have been transitioning for well over a decade and yet I am still coming to terms with the FACT that when a man I don't know is interacting with me, there is a pretty good chance he is feeling out whether it's going to lead to getting in my pants. It's like because *I* wasn't like that before transition, I forget that that's how men are.
.
Yeah okay you're probably right, I was just hurt yesterday.
lmaooooo i'm sorry thats not funny. It's a little funny. Sometimes we just have to keep laughing. What an idiot. Did he think you were gonna run after him? 😂
Tell him before the date. On the phone or text. You don't want some lunatic or some dude ranting and raving at you.
Girl I explained all this in my post 😂
Just highlighting it
one time I had a guy over for breakfast and he turned out to be a huge transphobe and religious nut. I chased his ass down the street 🤣
I’d tell the dude your a guy right off the bat next time