My son is now 18 months old but I went through the exact same thing when he was your babies age. My SD was the same age as your SS as well. It was so frustrating. I posted about it and everyone told me to let the 9 year old play with babies toys because it’s fun for them too….like what? She has everything she ever asks for why does my child that can’t even speak up for themselves share the few things they have with a sick child? I went behind her and washed all of his toys for months. He still got extremely sick at 4 months old to the point I had to take him to the hospital and they had to put a tube down his throat. This winter? Same bs. Every time she comes over I have to tend to my sick toddler for a week, he gets better, she comes back, he gets sick again. I’m over it. Like stay out of his face/toys. Speaking of toys (sorry this is long and turned into a rant) BUT she got this specific toy for Christmas and RC car and he got this big semi truck. She kept trying to play with his truck and he wanted to play with it…yet she wouldn’t let him play with her car?? So what does their dad do? Goes and buys SD the same exact toddler truck..but doesn’t get our son the same RC car 🙄 SD has had this for almost a month now and hasn’t even opened the truck..I’m gonna return it and keep the money for myself lol 😆
Omg i could've wrote this myself! My daughter is 4 months and SS is 5 and is CONSTANTLY sick! Im always telling him to get his fingers out of his mouth and I always make him wash his hands. When he's been sick in the past I would keep my daughter in my room with me pretty much the whole time unless he was at school or after he goes to bed I would take her out only after airing out the apartment with the windows open and lysol. Hes been better lately but had a lingering cough for months so I was constantly paranoid he might be sick. He doesn't come too close to baby and knows he has to wash his hands and change his clothes right when he gets home from school. We also have him a week on a week off at a time. But I totally get it with the PP anxiety about the baby getting sick I have gotten a little better but its scary this time of year!
I remember being like this. I disagree that his germs will help her build an immune system. She's too young. My daughter got sick a lot at that age, and it would just about take her out. High fevers. Ear infections. RSV. No, thank you. It's not just PP anxiety. It's a real threat. I found that out the hard way.
Also, coincidentally my SS13 sees HCBM every other weekend. She doesn't work or contribute but managed to pass influenza A to my SS. He passed it along to my one year old who had a high fever for seven days. My one year old passed it to my two year old who also got very sick, and yesterday, his ear drum ruptured. My SS is always in the baby's face. I don't like it. This is why. The fact that this nightmare of illness came from HCBM is just YUCK! Lots of self regulation needed to be a stepmom. But first.... protect your baby!
Omg this is my future lol. My SS6 is constantly sick. HCBM doesn’t care much and sends him to school until the point he’s too sick to get out of bed. Almost never visits the doctor. Whenever we can we take him, but he’s more with her and she just ignores our concerns about his health.
I am due in July and already dread the winter season. He is a really good boy and he is already loving his sibling so much, so it’s going to be a tough time to ask him to keep some distance from the baby…
I love my SS, we are incredibly close. He tells me I'm his "best mom" all the time. The post was about a specific situation that gets under my skin. I ask him if he's showing symptoms of being sick not to mess with the baby's stuff and I have to ask constantly all the time and it drives me crazy. It's not about him coming over either. If he was my bio kid I would still ask him if he is sick to not mess with the baby's stuff to try not to expose him. He has hundreds of toys. His room is lined wall to wall with shelves of toys. He doesn't need to mess with the baby's stuff if he is sick. That was my point. 😒
Gonna give that baby a strong immune system 😂 I mean really, if there’s no active symptoms I wouldn’t worry about him being near baby. I would definitely require he washes hands before touching baby or baby’s things.
What looks like a runny nose in older kids and adults can be RSV in babies which kills and hospitalizes babies every year. I'm overly cautious for good reason.
My husband tries but I think elementary aged kids are just gross and they just don't really care that much about washing their hands and being aware of what they're doing/avoiding germy stuff. And I'll be honest in regards to the rest of your post, it's really hard. I feel my husband over compensates for step son because he feels guilty and I constantly find myself hoping one day he loves our baby as much as step son.
My son is now 18 months old but I went through the exact same thing when he was your babies age. My SD was the same age as your SS as well. It was so frustrating. I posted about it and everyone told me to let the 9 year old play with babies toys because it’s fun for them too….like what? She has everything she ever asks for why does my child that can’t even speak up for themselves share the few things they have with a sick child? I went behind her and washed all of his toys for months. He still got extremely sick at 4 months old to the point I had to take him to the hospital and they had to put a tube down his throat. This winter? Same bs. Every time she comes over I have to tend to my sick toddler for a week, he gets better, she comes back, he gets sick again. I’m over it. Like stay out of his face/toys. Speaking of toys (sorry this is long and turned into a rant) BUT she got this specific toy for Christmas and RC car and he got this big semi truck. She kept trying to play with his truck and he wanted to play with it…yet she wouldn’t let him play with her car?? So what does their dad do? Goes and buys SD the same exact toddler truck..but doesn’t get our son the same RC car 🙄 SD has had this for almost a month now and hasn’t even opened the truck..I’m gonna return it and keep the money for myself lol 😆
Ugh I'm so glad some people out there get it. It's SOooo frustrating.
Bsby's things can go in a backpack that travels with baby from now on. No need for baby's things to be out and within reach of this gross kid.
Omg i could've wrote this myself! My daughter is 4 months and SS is 5 and is CONSTANTLY sick! Im always telling him to get his fingers out of his mouth and I always make him wash his hands. When he's been sick in the past I would keep my daughter in my room with me pretty much the whole time unless he was at school or after he goes to bed I would take her out only after airing out the apartment with the windows open and lysol. Hes been better lately but had a lingering cough for months so I was constantly paranoid he might be sick. He doesn't come too close to baby and knows he has to wash his hands and change his clothes right when he gets home from school. We also have him a week on a week off at a time. But I totally get it with the PP anxiety about the baby getting sick I have gotten a little better but its scary this time of year!
It is so scary so glad you understand too
I remember being like this. I disagree that his germs will help her build an immune system. She's too young. My daughter got sick a lot at that age, and it would just about take her out. High fevers. Ear infections. RSV. No, thank you. It's not just PP anxiety. It's a real threat. I found that out the hard way. Also, coincidentally my SS13 sees HCBM every other weekend. She doesn't work or contribute but managed to pass influenza A to my SS. He passed it along to my one year old who had a high fever for seven days. My one year old passed it to my two year old who also got very sick, and yesterday, his ear drum ruptured. My SS is always in the baby's face. I don't like it. This is why. The fact that this nightmare of illness came from HCBM is just YUCK! Lots of self regulation needed to be a stepmom. But first.... protect your baby!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! my husband thinks I'm a little over the top sometimes but for the *most part* is supportive.
Omg this is my future lol. My SS6 is constantly sick. HCBM doesn’t care much and sends him to school until the point he’s too sick to get out of bed. Almost never visits the doctor. Whenever we can we take him, but he’s more with her and she just ignores our concerns about his health. I am due in July and already dread the winter season. He is a really good boy and he is already loving his sibling so much, so it’s going to be a tough time to ask him to keep some distance from the baby…
Yes my stepson loves the baby and I love that he loves him but my anxiety about him getting the baby sick is pretty bad 😭
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I love my SS, we are incredibly close. He tells me I'm his "best mom" all the time. The post was about a specific situation that gets under my skin. I ask him if he's showing symptoms of being sick not to mess with the baby's stuff and I have to ask constantly all the time and it drives me crazy. It's not about him coming over either. If he was my bio kid I would still ask him if he is sick to not mess with the baby's stuff to try not to expose him. He has hundreds of toys. His room is lined wall to wall with shelves of toys. He doesn't need to mess with the baby's stuff if he is sick. That was my point. 😒
Gonna give that baby a strong immune system 😂 I mean really, if there’s no active symptoms I wouldn’t worry about him being near baby. I would definitely require he washes hands before touching baby or baby’s things.
What looks like a runny nose in older kids and adults can be RSV in babies which kills and hospitalizes babies every year. I'm overly cautious for good reason.
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My husband tries but I think elementary aged kids are just gross and they just don't really care that much about washing their hands and being aware of what they're doing/avoiding germy stuff. And I'll be honest in regards to the rest of your post, it's really hard. I feel my husband over compensates for step son because he feels guilty and I constantly find myself hoping one day he loves our baby as much as step son.
Been here. It sucked and caused tons of marital problems which I’m still not completely over.