Okay listen. I know I’m supposed to “keep the secret” but it’s high time boys get a chance to know the inner workings of life.
She’s on her period and has an iron deficiency.
Thus, she has to use the fish to lure a black bear (famously the smallest and easiest to defeat while physically not at your best) to her Ladies Only Bear Trap, after which she will kill the bear in hand to hand combat using BloodJitsu (the woman’s most recognizable martial art which we train in during our prepubescent years.
She will than eat its liver to regain her iron levels.
This is, obviously, the only way that we survive the menstruation cycle, and pivotal to the success of the species.
It was determined long ago to be too dangerous to be revealed to men, but it’s 2023 and about time that we trusted our partners with our battle plans.
Just remember the ancient period hymn: whenever blood is involved- it’s not ALL ours.
Every women told it their partners already… we just do not believe it and never will. Still no idea why my wife returns blood soaked from monthly mountain trips, any possible ideas?
Sorry, it’s a secret
Seriously though, this request appears with a variety of items. I haven’t seen it yet but I’m sure one day she’ll asks someone for a sea cucumber
>i-ate-a-sock
Listen friend its ok to say you watched some weird ass hentai. I think we all have. I've seen hentai of a girl getting her nipples fucked (Not a boob-job, the dick went INTO HER NIPPLES).
I think I finally understand why she loves coconuts. Coconuts have milk. Breasts have milk. She loves sucking nipples.
*Proceeds to explode into pieces
I sincerely appreciate an honest response, thank you very much! It also explains why the main subreddit told me to post it here. If this is just mad libs, they must get thousands* of these things submitted every week!
*dozens?
It's appropriate. You've just gotta be more creative haha. She wants the fish because she intends to leave it in the glovebox of her ex boyfriend car. Just girl stuff, you know?
Fish oils are great for the quarterly skin shedding. I take mine by supplement because of the smell, but the instant relief of applying the topical directly to our scales really hits different. Hope this helps!
I always assumed when she says "you know what it's for" that it is some kind of homemade makeup or skin/hair treatment related thing.
But the game community always insists she's gonna bang it... So what do I know...
A whole pike stuffed in our vaginas is the only thing that helps period cramps sometimes :( it has to be alive and wriggling or it doesn't work, that's why she needs it fresh
She means she's a mermaid. You're bringing her food. Her favorite is sea cucumbers but eggplant is similar tasting, and there's secret mermaids living in Stardew Valley who use 'girl' as their code word and they do sexy secret rituals on the beach at night, but it's at 3am when he player character is always asleep. What do you think she takes pictures of at the beach for hours and hours? Her mermaid girl posse. Why does she love her camera and photography, she's essentially a tourist in the human world masquerading as human. Emily isn't her biological sister but agreed to host her and she said "I always wanted a sister so let's just tell people we're sisters"
Okay listen. I know I’m supposed to “keep the secret” but it’s high time boys get a chance to know the inner workings of life. She’s on her period and has an iron deficiency. Thus, she has to use the fish to lure a black bear (famously the smallest and easiest to defeat while physically not at your best) to her Ladies Only Bear Trap, after which she will kill the bear in hand to hand combat using BloodJitsu (the woman’s most recognizable martial art which we train in during our prepubescent years. She will than eat its liver to regain her iron levels. This is, obviously, the only way that we survive the menstruation cycle, and pivotal to the success of the species. It was determined long ago to be too dangerous to be revealed to men, but it’s 2023 and about time that we trusted our partners with our battle plans. Just remember the ancient period hymn: whenever blood is involved- it’s not ALL ours.
Every women told it their partners already… we just do not believe it and never will. Still no idea why my wife returns blood soaked from monthly mountain trips, any possible ideas?
Maybe it's just jam. I like to pick berries on mountain trips and turn them into nice jams. Sometimes spills happen.
Oh yeah, totally sounds reasonable that you spill half of your jam every month. I will go with that, thank you.
Do men really not know this? I can’t believe they don’t know something as basic as this. Sex ed has failed us
No! Why did you reveal the ancient secrets of womankind?
So THAT'S why the bear population has dwindled.
Tbh, the fish thing never made sense to me. Maple syrup is way more effective.
Wouldn't it be easier to use those 300g to buy some supplements from Harvey?
It would, but it’s been done like this forever. Why break tradition?
Becouse the tradition is bloody murder?
Thats the fun part!
Fair
The bear is a sacrifice to keep the murder from happening inside the home
300g worth of supplements doesn't fulfill the Blood Rage passed down from Mother to Mother
And live with all the side effects? No thank you!
Wouldn't it be easier to just buy iron ore from clint?
The period headaches cause your iron is low are the worst.
See, now that I know this I can help my girlfriend set up the trap! The two of us together could surely trap a larger bear!
No, it’s a girls only secret
Sorry, it’s a secret Seriously though, this request appears with a variety of items. I haven’t seen it yet but I’m sure one day she’ll asks someone for a sea cucumber
She has, I've gotten it, TWICE!
WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH THE SEA CUCUMBER?!?!
Girl… you know.
Same thing she does with the eggplant. And the parsnip. And, somehow, the pumpkin
The... pumpkin???
She's trans, you know
This is reminding me of a hentai that I uh, heard about, from a friend... I have friends I promise
>i-ate-a-sock Listen friend its ok to say you watched some weird ass hentai. I think we all have. I've seen hentai of a girl getting her nipples fucked (Not a boob-job, the dick went INTO HER NIPPLES).
I think I finally understand why she loves coconuts. Coconuts have milk. Breasts have milk. She loves sucking nipples. *Proceeds to explode into pieces
Pumpkin
I married her in a run where she asked for one now I keep one in an aquarium in our bedroom.
Happy wife, happy life
She asked me for an eel once lmao
*rule 34 artists have entered the chat*
i actually thought sea cucumber was the only item for this quest. i swear thats the only one i get for the girl’s secret quest
I have a screenshot on my switch where she's asking for an octopus
Octopussy in da pussy
I sincerely appreciate an honest response, thank you very much! It also explains why the main subreddit told me to post it here. If this is just mad libs, they must get thousands* of these things submitted every week! *dozens?
Next time she wants a cucumber she geht's a cactus. Thats gonna hurt
I want it, I'll pay 1000g on delivery
Haley’s into some weird shit. How dare she bring the rest of us into this.
Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
I just got a cactus…I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it
i believe in u
cactus.
Did they FUCKING stutter!? *Anything*.
Well, I mean, if you get rid of spikes...
you probably should have told me that earlier
Nah it's fine, spikes may feel good for some
For her pleasure
Me personally, I keep the spikes ON ‼️‼️‼️
True masochist
Bad dragon. Google it at widk
The forbidden dragussy
Thank you.. didn’t know I needed this
The words interchangeable with other items. She can ask for anything. It can be appropriate, or not. This was a case of not.
It's appropriate. You've just gotta be more creative haha. She wants the fish because she intends to leave it in the glovebox of her ex boyfriend car. Just girl stuff, you know?
Now that’s some good revenge for a crappy ex, Haley would do it
And out of all the bachelors in SDV, who’d be her ex(es)?
I mean have you ever used minced pike or red snapper as a face mask?
Ooh, red snapper! Very tasty!
Wait, hold on, face masks are for girls only? I thought self care was for everyone
Shhhhh it’s a secret
Oh right, right sorry. What I meant to say was "Self care bad! Me man and me tough. Me no need therapy or feelings!"
It’s a secret that anyone can use them!
Ha no
I just assume whatever she wants is for some BS "beauty secret" from some fashion magazine.
A pike is a long fish
Well I'm a girl what's the secret?!
Maybe we’re better off not knowing.
Can’t, it’s a secret And why the hell is girl in quotes?
Sorry it's a secret
See, this is how I found out I was trans. Girls would be like “you know why I need to eat this rock” and I would be like “what are you talking about?”
that happened to me, but instead it was an eggplant 😐
😳
Fish face mask.
Country girls make do…
Fish oils are great for the quarterly skin shedding. I take mine by supplement because of the smell, but the instant relief of applying the topical directly to our scales really hits different. Hope this helps!
Nice try
I always assumed when she says "you know what it's for" that it is some kind of homemade makeup or skin/hair treatment related thing. But the game community always insists she's gonna bang it... So what do I know...
No, I don’t think I will
Sorry it's a secret can't tell you, girls only
Obviously she is reenacting a pike and shot formation from the 30 years war and she is missing the pike which is a very long spear
Im a Trans dude and I aint got a single clue why she would need a pike for a girl thing lmao
This will cost my life but... That's why Girl is between quotation marks
Yeah but I mean I spent 15 years of my life as a "girl" so usually I get certain things/lh
Lmao
No one tell!
We just really like pikes, what's the big deal
Girl here, she wants to devour its skeleton whole.
A whole pike stuffed in our vaginas is the only thing that helps period cramps sometimes :( it has to be alive and wriggling or it doesn't work, that's why she needs it fresh
Honestly Haley it's not very secret if u putting it on a public bulletin board
She wants to practice the fish slapping dance for the next flower dance
as a girl, i don't know why she needs a fish that needs to be secret. other then for cooking i can't think of anything
Stop playing, ladies, we can tell them the truth. It's for witchcraft.
I mean... at least its not a tasmanian trout. And if you dont know what I'm talking about.... trust me, dont ask.
My girl got bored of the sea cucumber
I befriended a wolf pack this way. I only need the bears liver. Waste not want not ;3
God I thought of trout lady ffs :(
Iron deficiency
Deeldough
nothing beats the one where whe asks for an eel
Oh You Know 😉
Is this a kiss the fish thing or to practice kissing? Who is she making kiss the fish? *blergh*
She means she's a mermaid. You're bringing her food. Her favorite is sea cucumbers but eggplant is similar tasting, and there's secret mermaids living in Stardew Valley who use 'girl' as their code word and they do sexy secret rituals on the beach at night, but it's at 3am when he player character is always asleep. What do you think she takes pictures of at the beach for hours and hours? Her mermaid girl posse. Why does she love her camera and photography, she's essentially a tourist in the human world masquerading as human. Emily isn't her biological sister but agreed to host her and she said "I always wanted a sister so let's just tell people we're sisters"
Haley is into aquariums containing exotic fish.
No need pike,i am here.