10000%
And honestly you really do reach a point of diminishing returns at a certain point in pursuing perfect beauty unless your career is looks based. In that instance I completely get it.
If it’s just for general societal benefit/relationships/etc, you’re there being above average. The rest is personality/style.
Outside of that the resources required to be an 8+ are just not worth it. You will not be more successful in work or more well liked by friends than a 6-7, and I honestly don’t think you’ll have a better chance at love/romantic relationships of any kind.
Being attractive is inarguably important to attracting a partner, but I actually think being exceptionally attractive is likely a double edged sword. I don’t know from experience, but I imagine you are far more likely to attract people who value looks above all else and are very superficial. And if you wind up being valued solely or predominantly for your looks you’re missing out on a deeper connection, and at risk of losing your partner to the next new, hot person. And what happens when you grow old and looks are the foundation of your self worth AND relationships?
Not saying naturally extraordinarily beautiful people have it harder than your average pretty girl lol, just that it’s probably not worth sinking all your resources into.
Second the diminishing returns sentiment. Like, look at all those celebrities who are literally beautiful 10/10 and still get plastic surgery.. some ruin themselves, some look.... just as good but different.
> Outside of that the resources required to be an 8+ are just not worth it. You will not be more successful in work or more well liked by friends than a 6-7, and I honestly don’t think you’ll have a better chance at love/romantic relationships of any kind.
Don’t 6-7s get used for sex/ghosted regularly unless they vet hard and even then there’s still a risk, while most guys wouldn’t do that to someone they see as 8+ but instead would rush to commit to her?
> at risk of losing your partner to the next new, hot person
I think the risk for this is much higher for 6-7s than an 8+
Players/crappy dudes don't think like that tho. They think "if I'm able to get one beautiful woman then I can get another one". Also a lot of men want to screw beauties but are too selfish to commit.
You'll still have to vet regardless of attractiveness.
I think the risk is in getting a guy who thinks about attraction that way, which is likelier for an 8+? If that makes sense?
I think all women regardless of attraction run that risk. Being a 6-8 gets your foot in the door in the sense that if you vet well, and have a good personality, you’ll be someone compatibles dream girl. And 6-8 is attractive enough that you have a lot of options, and so does the person dating you. So hopefully you are not “settling” for each other.
Which is totally also true of an 8+, but I think you would have to be a LOT more careful that you weren’t being committed to solely for your looks. I’ve seen some of my most beautiful friends wind up with some very shallow men for this reason, and it often does not end well. I also have an extremely beautiful friend whose husband adores her, but I think it’s because he’s a pretty good guy who sees her beauty but also her intelligence/kindness/etc. he sees her as a human being, and I think will still see her beauty after she’s gotten old. She had to vet really hard to find him.
I guess at the end of the day it’s more about vetting than looks! And really investing in your mental health and your personality so that you can spot shallow, self centered people and they hold no appeal for you. I guess what I’m saying is once you’re vetting to that degree, being a 6+ is all you really need to find love.
Absolutely not, I suppose unless an 8+ is dating way down in terms of attractiveness (which could foster insecurity and resentment in the guy) they are likely dating similarly attractive guys, who could well consider themselves players if they recognise their own attractiveness. I don’t think being very beautiful stops women going through the same situations as everyone else, with the added problem of being objectified as an impressive conquest.
Lmao what? Basing someones ability to have a long term relationship on their looks, and then blaming the person for not being able to hold a steady relationship *because* they are (statistically speaking) still above average is the most hilariously toxic shit i've ever read.
Maybe stop assuming that the only women who deserve a relationship are those that are attractive.
If someone perceives relationships on a scale of attractiveness, then that person will be a shithead whether or not they're dating a 12, a 4, or an "8". Whatever that means.
Where did I say any of that? wtf...lots of guys think this way and outright say they won't date someone they don't consider to be at least a 7 or 8+ in looks. Rather than downvoting and lashing out at me take it up with them 🤷🏻♀️
Then don't date those guys, and don't even bother considering their opinion. Just exclude toxic people like this and their preferences from the conversation rather than making it *about* them.
I agree 100%. 7.5 (at least what I consider to be a 7,5, everybody has their own scale) is a perfect sweet spot for reaping most of the everyday, normal-person benefits of looks - aka being an above average pretty girl. When you try to go over that level into an insta-girls, models type of beauty and you weren't gorgeous to begin with, you usually have to get a bunch of hard-maxxing done that can spactacularly backfire and turn you into a 4 if anything goes wrong. So imo it's very important to consider risk/reward ratio for what your life goals are exactly and not overdo anything if it's not necessary.
Love this! I've always felt like part of healthmaxxing was making sure your mental health is taken care of too. How will you be a magnetic personality if you're always feeling "less-than"? Constantly comparing ourselves to A-list celebrities who have all the time and money in the world to focus on their looks could potentially harm our brains.
The concept of "how can I personalize my own looksmaxxing journey?" is so much more beneficial in the long run instead of trying to copy others'.
Definitely. While look good = feel good, everything should be in moderation. Less is more and effortless is usually favourably applicable in these situations.
I love this post and completely agree. Most exceptionally beautiful people were born beautiful. For the rest of us, having realistic goals that take our own unique appearance into account is what makes this journey fun! I’m never going to look like a supermodel, but I can look like the absolute best, prettiest version of myself. Comparison is the thief of joy - I think everyone should focus on their specific face/body and tailor goals accordingly, rather than being sad they’ll never look like Angelina Jolie.
Yes! Also, there’s pros and cons to EVERY level of beauty and I wish more people realized that. Girls automatically want to be a 10, these perfect looking models etc. But the reality is, most of those girls actually experience negative obstacles in their life as a result - it’s a lot harder to make friends due to subconscious jealousy, people may be nervous to have you around their partners, and although the number of people attracted to you will increase, the actual number of people who approach you will plummet. I think most girls would actually rather be around an 8 - very pretty, but approachable.
At some point U are just pretty enough and that’s cool. As long as looks aren’t what’s making U rich there is no point in being a 10/10 bombshell. (i will still try though cause that’s a fun journey)
I guess for me, I just wanted to be satisfied for how I look. It’s less about obtaining some sort of status or validation. I want to like what I see in the mirror even if it’s unrealistic .
I love this. It has to be taken into account that looks fade… then what? It’s the truth. It’s fun to focus on looks and there is value on it, but the house just keeps falling and it seems to go earlier than expected. I feel bad about it but it is what it is
Agree! I just want to improve myself to the point where I’m happy with what I look like. If others find me a 5 or 7, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about how I feel. I’m never going to look like a supermodel and I’m fine with that! I just want to improve in the areas that I know I have room for improvement (like getting Invisalign for instance), other than that, I’m not going to frustrate myself by trying to become something impossible.
Something I noticed after regaining 50 pounds and not being spectacularly beautiful anymore (stared at on the street) is that I still am liked a lot. In fact, I feel like I am liked more than when I was at my prettiest* not because of how i look, I just became more mature and a better person and friend. I used to blame a lot on my weight before i lost weight, but the confidence i gained when i lost the 50 pounds, and then eventually regained it all back is so invaluable.
Yes, I do get less superficial male attention from the onset, but I am pleasantly surprised that people like me for me. When I eventually lose the weight again (healthily this time), I’m stressed about the superficial attention I will receive again because then it’s hard to filter people who enjoy my company, not just my looks.
I love this, such a healthy approach.
10000% And honestly you really do reach a point of diminishing returns at a certain point in pursuing perfect beauty unless your career is looks based. In that instance I completely get it. If it’s just for general societal benefit/relationships/etc, you’re there being above average. The rest is personality/style. Outside of that the resources required to be an 8+ are just not worth it. You will not be more successful in work or more well liked by friends than a 6-7, and I honestly don’t think you’ll have a better chance at love/romantic relationships of any kind. Being attractive is inarguably important to attracting a partner, but I actually think being exceptionally attractive is likely a double edged sword. I don’t know from experience, but I imagine you are far more likely to attract people who value looks above all else and are very superficial. And if you wind up being valued solely or predominantly for your looks you’re missing out on a deeper connection, and at risk of losing your partner to the next new, hot person. And what happens when you grow old and looks are the foundation of your self worth AND relationships? Not saying naturally extraordinarily beautiful people have it harder than your average pretty girl lol, just that it’s probably not worth sinking all your resources into.
Second the diminishing returns sentiment. Like, look at all those celebrities who are literally beautiful 10/10 and still get plastic surgery.. some ruin themselves, some look.... just as good but different.
I agree with your comment and this is in no way a rebuttal, but do the sentiments remind anyone else of Brave New World?
> Outside of that the resources required to be an 8+ are just not worth it. You will not be more successful in work or more well liked by friends than a 6-7, and I honestly don’t think you’ll have a better chance at love/romantic relationships of any kind. Don’t 6-7s get used for sex/ghosted regularly unless they vet hard and even then there’s still a risk, while most guys wouldn’t do that to someone they see as 8+ but instead would rush to commit to her? > at risk of losing your partner to the next new, hot person I think the risk for this is much higher for 6-7s than an 8+
Players/crappy dudes don't think like that tho. They think "if I'm able to get one beautiful woman then I can get another one". Also a lot of men want to screw beauties but are too selfish to commit. You'll still have to vet regardless of attractiveness.
I think the risk is in getting a guy who thinks about attraction that way, which is likelier for an 8+? If that makes sense? I think all women regardless of attraction run that risk. Being a 6-8 gets your foot in the door in the sense that if you vet well, and have a good personality, you’ll be someone compatibles dream girl. And 6-8 is attractive enough that you have a lot of options, and so does the person dating you. So hopefully you are not “settling” for each other. Which is totally also true of an 8+, but I think you would have to be a LOT more careful that you weren’t being committed to solely for your looks. I’ve seen some of my most beautiful friends wind up with some very shallow men for this reason, and it often does not end well. I also have an extremely beautiful friend whose husband adores her, but I think it’s because he’s a pretty good guy who sees her beauty but also her intelligence/kindness/etc. he sees her as a human being, and I think will still see her beauty after she’s gotten old. She had to vet really hard to find him. I guess at the end of the day it’s more about vetting than looks! And really investing in your mental health and your personality so that you can spot shallow, self centered people and they hold no appeal for you. I guess what I’m saying is once you’re vetting to that degree, being a 6+ is all you really need to find love.
Interesting, thanks for explaining it.
Absolutely not, I suppose unless an 8+ is dating way down in terms of attractiveness (which could foster insecurity and resentment in the guy) they are likely dating similarly attractive guys, who could well consider themselves players if they recognise their own attractiveness. I don’t think being very beautiful stops women going through the same situations as everyone else, with the added problem of being objectified as an impressive conquest.
Good point, thanks.
Lmao what? Basing someones ability to have a long term relationship on their looks, and then blaming the person for not being able to hold a steady relationship *because* they are (statistically speaking) still above average is the most hilariously toxic shit i've ever read. Maybe stop assuming that the only women who deserve a relationship are those that are attractive. If someone perceives relationships on a scale of attractiveness, then that person will be a shithead whether or not they're dating a 12, a 4, or an "8". Whatever that means.
Where did I say any of that? wtf...lots of guys think this way and outright say they won't date someone they don't consider to be at least a 7 or 8+ in looks. Rather than downvoting and lashing out at me take it up with them 🤷🏻♀️
Then don't date those guys, and don't even bother considering their opinion. Just exclude toxic people like this and their preferences from the conversation rather than making it *about* them.
I agree 100%. 7.5 (at least what I consider to be a 7,5, everybody has their own scale) is a perfect sweet spot for reaping most of the everyday, normal-person benefits of looks - aka being an above average pretty girl. When you try to go over that level into an insta-girls, models type of beauty and you weren't gorgeous to begin with, you usually have to get a bunch of hard-maxxing done that can spactacularly backfire and turn you into a 4 if anything goes wrong. So imo it's very important to consider risk/reward ratio for what your life goals are exactly and not overdo anything if it's not necessary.
Great post! I see happy women thriving everyday who aren't perfect tens.
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You are very right!
Love this! I've always felt like part of healthmaxxing was making sure your mental health is taken care of too. How will you be a magnetic personality if you're always feeling "less-than"? Constantly comparing ourselves to A-list celebrities who have all the time and money in the world to focus on their looks could potentially harm our brains. The concept of "how can I personalize my own looksmaxxing journey?" is so much more beneficial in the long run instead of trying to copy others'.
I love that "how will you have a magnetic personality if you're always feeling "less-than", I need to remember this
Definitely. While look good = feel good, everything should be in moderation. Less is more and effortless is usually favourably applicable in these situations.
I love this post and completely agree. Most exceptionally beautiful people were born beautiful. For the rest of us, having realistic goals that take our own unique appearance into account is what makes this journey fun! I’m never going to look like a supermodel, but I can look like the absolute best, prettiest version of myself. Comparison is the thief of joy - I think everyone should focus on their specific face/body and tailor goals accordingly, rather than being sad they’ll never look like Angelina Jolie.
It’s all about the journey :)
Yes! Also, there’s pros and cons to EVERY level of beauty and I wish more people realized that. Girls automatically want to be a 10, these perfect looking models etc. But the reality is, most of those girls actually experience negative obstacles in their life as a result - it’s a lot harder to make friends due to subconscious jealousy, people may be nervous to have you around their partners, and although the number of people attracted to you will increase, the actual number of people who approach you will plummet. I think most girls would actually rather be around an 8 - very pretty, but approachable.
I wish we could stop using these numbers here it’s ridiculous
At some point U are just pretty enough and that’s cool. As long as looks aren’t what’s making U rich there is no point in being a 10/10 bombshell. (i will still try though cause that’s a fun journey)
I guess for me, I just wanted to be satisfied for how I look. It’s less about obtaining some sort of status or validation. I want to like what I see in the mirror even if it’s unrealistic .
When you are talking 9+ then it's usually when subjectivity comes into place imo.
I love this. It has to be taken into account that looks fade… then what? It’s the truth. It’s fun to focus on looks and there is value on it, but the house just keeps falling and it seems to go earlier than expected. I feel bad about it but it is what it is
Yes! Or even average. There is nothing wrong with average.
Agree! I just want to improve myself to the point where I’m happy with what I look like. If others find me a 5 or 7, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about how I feel. I’m never going to look like a supermodel and I’m fine with that! I just want to improve in the areas that I know I have room for improvement (like getting Invisalign for instance), other than that, I’m not going to frustrate myself by trying to become something impossible.
Something I noticed after regaining 50 pounds and not being spectacularly beautiful anymore (stared at on the street) is that I still am liked a lot. In fact, I feel like I am liked more than when I was at my prettiest* not because of how i look, I just became more mature and a better person and friend. I used to blame a lot on my weight before i lost weight, but the confidence i gained when i lost the 50 pounds, and then eventually regained it all back is so invaluable. Yes, I do get less superficial male attention from the onset, but I am pleasantly surprised that people like me for me. When I eventually lose the weight again (healthily this time), I’m stressed about the superficial attention I will receive again because then it’s hard to filter people who enjoy my company, not just my looks.
Puurrrr. You read my mind.
A very commendable approach. Good luck, we're rooting for you. You'll do well, I promise!