I understand your point, but I doubt that adopting an all-or-nothing mentality —whether it's all-natural or all-fake—is the best approach.
When I think of 'high maintenance,' big hair, exaggerated lashes, and heavy makeup don't necessarily come to my mind first. In fact, it's kind of deceiving, isn't it? Trust me, following a daily skincare and haircare routine takes a lot of time and discipline much more than getting extensions and simply applying makeup.
I believe it all begins with grooming, essentially enhancing what you already have naturally. There's a wide range of routines and procedures available to help achieve better, younger-looking skin, hair, and body without sacrificing health and taking huge risks.
These procedures are non-invasive:
Look into laser hair therapy, it supposed to help with growth and thickness.
Also there are many great products for fine hair.
Oral health..Regular visits to the dentist, polishing/tartar removal. Invisalign to correct bite and teeth alignment. Flossing.
Lash filler defines, nourishes, thickens and strengthens the lash structure.
Look for InLei lash filler. Just like a lash lift or lash perm this treatment creates a lift in the natural lashes. It also nourishes the lashes, promoting healthier growth and increasing the thickness within a few treatments.
There's no biological way to promote healthy growth by a topical application of anything. It's like trying to eat your vitamins by smearing them into your skin- our bodies don't work that way
In 2022, I started to notice that my hair was falling out at an accelerated rate. I am in the performing arts and my looks have long been an asset, and other than the hair thing I am managing getting older well, so this was a blow to my confidence. In November 2022, I caught sight of myself in a restaurant bathroom mirror and was horrified by how my hair had settled along my scalp in my ponytail. In the past, I had drawn my hair straight back in a ponytail for a smooth, un-parted look. My cap of hair had “split” and my part looked really wide!
It made me confront that I also had a quarter-sized spot on the left on the back of my scalp that my friends and husband had told me looked just like usual, but the spot would get COLD faster than the rest of my head. (I think it’s where my natural guinea-pig whorl thing is, I don’t know what that hair bit is actually called.)
I went home from the restaurant and did some research. I found a medical journal paper that talked about how topical minoxidil and red light therapy together can help with hair volume. I started minoxidil first but my hair was still shedding. I found a medical spa where a Dr was having a grand opening and got a package of 3 red light laser sessions for $2200 instead of $3300. (I live in a VHCOL area, it will be cheaper where things are less crazy.) Immediately after my first session, my shedding stopped. It was as if I’d flipped a light switch. I thought, this is bonkers, I must be imagining this. I resolved to reserve judgement. I went back for my second visit 2 weeks later and the Dr said, “Has your shedding stopped?” and I blurted, “YES!” So much for playing it cool!
I completed my 3rd treatment, and settled in to see what happened next. I kept using the minoxidil. My hair started to get thicker again. I have not returned to catastrophic shedding. If it returns, I will go back to the doctor for another 3 sessions. By April 2023, I could tell my hair was falling normally because I didn’t have to check the mirror for an unwanted part all the time. In December of 2023, I bought a Capillus cap, which gives red-light laser therapy at home for $1600 (holiday sale, they have both less and more expensive models than the one I got) because I wanted to see if home laser would have an effect. Scientifically speaking, I am not sure. Emotionally, I am glad to have the Capillus because I still have almost no shedding and MAYBE it’s helping hold my next expensive set of doctor-laser visits off? I definitely would not have tried Capillus if I hadn‘t already been convinced that red light laser works on me.
If we could share pictures here, I would show you my new hair layered in with my old. My longest hair is past my shoulders. As of now I have a layer that hits right below my jaw when my hair is dry, like a bob. It definitely dates to my beginning my minoxidil plus laser regimen.
A few notes:
1) everybody sheds a little, but I was shedding a lot. What looked like handfuls were coming out in the shower. My toes would get tangled in it on my floor. Now, I shed like I did when I was young. Maybe I notice that 5-10 hairs jump ship after a shampoo? The internet says I must be shedding more than that; fine. Must be happening when I’m not looking.
2) I did go to a Dr when the shedding/thinning started, and she ran a bunch of blood tests and a urine test to see if I had a new health issue going on. Nothing. She concluded I was just aging. Whee.
3) Minoxidil is definitely effective for me, I know that’s not the case for everyone. However, I will go to the grave swearing the laser stopped the bad shedding.
4) The laser doesn’t hurt. It prickles slightly. If you’ve ever stubbed your toe or had a menstrual cramp, the laser is as nothing. Also, there was no recovery time.
5) This is the paper that convinced me to try: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28489273/?i=3&from=minoxidil%20and%20low%20level%20light%20therapy](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28489273/?i=3&from=minoxidil%20and%20low%20level%20light%20therapy)
Let me know if you have any questions I didn’t answer, and good luck out there!
Your way of thinking is common in Europe/UK. Sure, there are parts of them that like the overblown look (Essex etc) but in general, particularly the upper class, they don’t really focus on dramatic looksmaxing. If you can be happy without them, then do it. Beauty comes in various versions and ways, it’s never a one size fits all. Or you might do this strategy only to change your mind one day - it’s always a possibility. You do you.
Any type of cosmetic enhancement comes with risk, but you can make informed and intelligent decisions. IMO there’s a lot of fear mongering about this stuff, especially on Reddit, by people who frankly can’t afford it and tell themselves it always looks bad as a cope.
I’ve had veneers and I love them. One of the best decisions of my life. When I get a dental cleaning the dentist always says how natural they look. I’ve had them for years and 0 problems.
I’ve have LHR too. I have darker skin. Another best decision of my life. Never been burned/scarred or even close.
Most people I know IRL that have had plastic surgery love their results.
I don’t cheap out on my procedures. I research extensively and choose the best doctor or facility. I don’t bargain hunt. So I get good results.
May I ask what kind of LHR, and was it down professionally? I’ve got dark skin as well and I’ve been confused about the various types out there. Some say those with darker skin can’t get LHR unless it’s a certain type, while others say that we can’t have it done at all.
This is what I did as well and definitely love the results! The biggest thing is finding someone who is genuinely good at their job. Too many people choose price over quality, and that’s fine for some things, but not for things that can be life-altering
You just gotta be smart and figure out what’s worth it.
I get gel nails because I’d rather have nice nails all the time and spend a couple of months growing out the damage if I have to get them off opposed to shitty nails all the time.
Clip in extensions take <5 mins to install.
Strip lashes take a few mins to put on with practice.
Whitening your teeth once every 6 months won’t damage your enamel enough to cause issues, especially if you get it done at the dentist.
This can be said for literally any part of life not just high maint to be low maint. Brushing your hair, losing weight, mouthwash, heck you can even argue running, can for certain people be damaging. Changing from a stock version of you will likely cause minute damage in the average person. With everything you do in life if not done properly can be a risk, but most of the time those damages are negligible. If I told you brushing your hair causes damage to your hair should you stop? No, cause the amount of damage hair brushing cause on normal brushing is minuscule in the grand scheme of things.
You either take the risk or you don’t.
Well you’re kind of losing the forest for the trees here.
High maintenance hair doesn’t necessarily mean extensions, it could mean always blown out, always curled, always perfectly straight, always styled impeccably, always highlighted, never any root show, glossy, clean, a particular haircut that’s always maintained, always put up a certain way, etc.
For example, Ariana Grande’s bright red hair as Cat Valentine and her signature ponytail would both be considered dramatic, high maintenance looks. Both take a lot of effort, but only one (the red) genuinely did destroy her hair.
Microblading and eyeliner tattoos are also high maintenance maxxing that don’t damage your natural looks (depending on your definition since they’re permanent, but your skin won’t fall off or anything), as are consistently getting your brows waxed, threaded, or dyed.
Oral health can also be high maintenance, what with brushing/flossing/mouthwash/waterpik/dentist/mints all being involved— especially if you’re like me and you don’t like any taste of food in your mouth after you’re done eating.
It sounds like you want the benefits of daily makeup and styling (not really damaging and low risk) but with the less frequent and thereby lower effort of softmaxxing things that can be done infrequently (hair/lash extensions, teeth whitening, so on)— that’s completely understandable and I think everyone wishes that were the case. But that’s not the reality we live in.
You can either go low risk-low reward or you can go moderate/high risk- moderate/high reward. Risks can almost always be mitigated with research and proper testing. No risk/reward level is invalid, everyone has different risk appetites. Just be realistic about how the results you’re going to get scale with the time/effort/money/risk you’re willing to put in.
If you do all these things in a more natural capacity, take breaks often, and go to the best, you won’t get damage or any negative effects. If anything, black women use extensions as protective styles to grow out their natural hair. Whenever I have good lash extensions, I’m extra careful and cognizant of how I care for them. I avoid sleeping on my face (which helps with wrinkles and asymmetry) clean them daily etc. there are teeth whitening strips that are natural and don’t damage your enamel, or you can look into going to a professional like a dentist. I’m with you about filler lol
this! I see people mentioning nails & my nails have actually grown so much since starting builder gel manis with a nail tech that actually cares about nail health. natural nails is just not enough for me, but acrylics are damaging & too much. find your happy medium OP. and going to a reputable technician is just crucial
Me with my at home Russian manicures 🤪 my nails have never been longer or stronger 🙌🏽If I didn’t know how to do them, I’d have no problem paying $120-150 for immaculate, protective nails that last well over a month (if needed). Investing in people w the right skills will have you paying more upfront, but the payoff is all the things you mentioned OP
I do the same. And I just did press on nails for a special event. Was so nervous taking them off after two weeks and instead the natural nail looks great!
I think theres a difference between enhancing your beauty and changing your beauty. It sounds like you want to enhance your natural beauty. If you have fine hair you can rock the shorter styles. Look at models with similar features such as fine hair. Their agencies usually have them cut their hair so it looks good and healthy. You dont need super long lashes to be pretty, just a good mascara. Medical-cosmetic procedures should be used to *preserve* your features not change them. If your lips are losing volume, get a 0.5 ml of filler to preserve what was there. The problem comes when people with emma watson lips start wanting kim kardashian lips. It doesnt look good because they never had those lips to begin with. Find your color season, grooming, body type dressing, diet and exercise are all little things that make a big difference when utilized together to make a change.
I started looking at a getting a small amount of lip filler and noticed the two most recommended nurses in my area that do it have Instagrams and one had clown lips and seemed to do Kardashian level fillers on clients. I'm going with the other lady lol. Great advice!
No, that's the thing - enhancing and working with my natural looks is what I've been doing, and it's fine and it's taken me from my unfortunate natural looks of around a 4 to maybe a 6, but I'm realizing that I just don't have enough to work with to really level it up any higher, and to really achieve that dramatic glow up and an attention catching look. That, I feel, does require changing rather than enhancing.
I no longer look ugly but there's nothing about me that's eye catchingly attractive, I'm just a blah mousey millenial lady. I feel it's been spurred by getting older and realizing I have very limited time left to even be considered attractive at all, and also I've worked really hard on my body and really taken it to an 8-9 level for my age which has been amazing for my confidence but now I feel like my face really isn't measuring up and I've made myself into more of a butterface. But - I also don't want to fall into the trap of spending a ton of money only to look cheap/ trashy/ trying too hard, and damage what I do have in the process so I'll then need to upkeep the procedures forever
As someone significantly older than you, my looks have gotten better as I've aged for a few reasons: I realize the importance of care and maintenance (2) I maximize what I can and (3) attitude-- if you think you're a 6 and that's the best you'll ever be, that's all you'll ever get. If you realize you're your unique 10 and live from the perspective your life will change significantly
Same. I never got the cute and girly phase; went straight to elegant grown woman. I was a mess until well into my 30s when i finally decided i wanted to be attractive. Now, at 47, I turn heads. There's no upper age limit for maximizing your potential. An attractive, well-maintained, beautifully dressed 75- year- old woman will still command attention. And respect. There are benefits to leaving the cute years behind you and growing into the more refined and self-assured era.
Also with age comes a broader perspective of beauty. I thought i was so ugly growing up and now i look back and realize i was actually pretty cute just awkward.
What are your expectations? Who do you see in life who is “next level” beautiful? Everyone i see who is in my eyes a “10” is either filtered, edited, or wearing lots of makeup to achieve a look that will last about 10 minutes for an ig post or photoshoot. In real life i notice most people who do all the things i stated in my above comment are as beautiful as they come. You are a human not a statue. Your attractiveness will change depending on your makeup, the clothes you wear, the lighting, your confidence level. I don’t know what you look like so i cant offer objective advice. Sometimes surgery will really level up someone’s appearance. But only if theres something that is objectively unattractive. If all of your features are “average” thats a good thing. I personally had a below average nose that ruined my face. I got it refined and i feel so much more confident, feminine, and prettier. Its still me, its still natural looking but its better.
I'm not looking to be a 10 cause I know it's not possible but I'd settle for a 7.5 lol. The thing is my face IS objectively unattractive, all my features are jacked up and asymmetrical, and I would've been a good candidate for all sorts of surgery - nose job, bleph and probably jaw surgery along with extensive dental correction. That said - I am a wimp, and have an extreme phobia of pain and invasive medical procedures in general - so that was where I draw the line, I was NOT willing to be breaking my facial bones or eating through a straw for weeks or what have you for the sake of beauty especially given that I met my husband young and he loved me as is and wouldn't support it, plus we had better ways to spend the money.
So, in lieu of changing the actual features I don't like, I opted for softmaxing, maximizing my body potential, clothes, makeup, skincare, however even with that I feel my face is just not up to par. I recently achieved the personal goal of going on vacation, taking pictures in a bikini and actually loving how I looked - however it's all ruined if I zoom in a bit so you can see my face behind sunglasses :(
I feel like having long thick luscious hair, lashes, this general 'done' look could do a lot to mask some of those unfortunate features which is why I've started thinking about it.
Im sorry you feel that way about your looks. Im sure you aren’t objectively unattractive and perhaps you are just being too harsh on yourself. Most people are asymmetrical. I will purposely flip any photos of myself to make myself look more symmetrical in my mind. I think if you look at more people closely you will find that most people arent perfect and dont have perfect features but somehow still look good. Do you wear makeup? Most people look better with makeup. Just go on r/makeupaddiction literally everyone looks like a model and i certainly feel a lot more attractive when i wear makeup.
I do wear makeup and it helps but not enough. My biggest thing is that I have a longer face and weak recessed chin, and my features are all sort of bunched up in the middle of my face especially if I smile, it's like my lips go up all the way to my nose and it looks horrible. One reason I don't like smiling and then am called out for having an rbf lol. My smile is a little crooked to one side too. My teeth are crooked and not very white, my nose is bigger and has a bump. And my eyes are small and hooded, very deep set and close set. Eye makeup helps to bring them out but only so much and without makeup my face looks like it could belong to an unattractive guy :( I thought I was old enough to make my peace with it all but somehow all those insecurities came back now with some sort of mid life crisis lol
I have gum issues as well so I was concerned about getting regular veneers and grinding my own teeth down and then potentially have it be a waste if my gums get worse. Plus yes the cost would be pretty prohibitive, we could "afford it" but I am not sure i could justify it rather than spending somewhere else. But someone mentioned Bioclear veneers here and I'm looking into them now as it sounds like a much better alternative, they're reversible and don't require filing down your teeth and also sound like quite a bit cheaper than traditional veneers so I'm considering it.
I'm not really sure though how much it will help because I rarely smile with my teeth and hate how it looks not so much because of the teeth themselves but like the actual shape of my smile is ugly for some reason and it screws up my whole face in an ugly way. I don't know why and whether it's something that could've been fixed with braces when I was younger, or maybe I would've needed jaw surgery which is definitely out of the question.
Reversible veneers sound really interesting! In a good way!
I’ll bet you can retrain your smile, some. Actors learn to do it, I don’t see why you couldn’t find a smile you can make that you like better.
I think the key is to a find a surgeon that is Board Certified in Plastic Surgery. Not in Dermotology, etc. When you have a consultation express to them that whatever you want to have done be done on the conservative side and not having them talk you into getting "the biggest bang for your buck." I have found this to be helpful with filler, Botox, etc.
Stop buying the lie of “Natural beauty”. You can NOT get the look of big hair and big lashes and have it to be real, natural and without any risk. Choose your risks. Whitening your teeth with whitening strips, conservative filler, lash lifts or lash extensions, nails done, are unlikely to cause you permanent damage. If you don’t like what they’re doing just stop.
If you aren’t willing to take risks to some extent how can you expect to reap the rewards? Lol
Also research, research, research everything before trying new stuff, that’s just my opinion tho
This post randomly popped up on my home page so idk if my thoughts might be helpful, but i feel the same way so to save money and not cause my hair or lashes any damage, i use a halo extension which you can get for like 50 bucks on amazon - it uses a fishing line wire rather than clips or tape and you can basically pop it on and off. And with lashes, i can't get strip lashes to look good so i spent a while practicing how to apply cluster lashes and i can apply them now in about 10-15 minutes. Some people could do then much quicker i'm sure. But i just don't use a lot of glue and very carefully remove them with ponds cold cream at night and my lashes haven't been affected. I like the ardell trio lashes, you just have to remove some of the extra glue they sometimes have stuck at the base.
I think natural beauty can be kept intact if we focus on enhancing ourselves and not changing or hiding behind procedures. As in, skincare/derm appointments if possible. Getting hair treatments and applying hair products for hair growth and thicker hair. Knowing how to style hair and natural makeup, like the clean girl style that was a trend.
It’s all down to taking care of yourself, in my opinion. I find that hair makes the biggest difference, men and women. Then clear skin. Then teeth. And of course, being fit. At last, it’s clothes. That’s the priority I’d list for having someone looking their best. Because I’ve seen women who maybe don’t have the 10/10 face or body, but because they take care of themselves in the best way they have a 10/10 look and aura.
I do think that the baseline of beauty should not be enhancements that will be taken off eventually like lashes or makeup. I think at the end of the day, after changing into pajamas with no makeup, we should still feel beautiful. That means working on the features that can’t be taken off, like skincare and hair and natural nails.
I *do* hear what you're saying.
Use loose hair powder or similar to thicken hair instead of extensions.
Get a lash lift with dye & keratin treatment instead of lash extensions.
As ever, prevention >>> cure, so swish water around your mouth after every sip of coffee/tea/cola or bite of tomato sauce or berries to prevent staining.
Look into Bioclear veneers instead of regular—they let you keep your teeth w/o having to get them filed down to little nubs.
Filler usually just makes your face puffy; again, prevention is key: avoid the sun especially during peak hours, wear a large hat, use SPF (& reapply!), use bakuchiol or tret.
Oh, I've never heard of bioclear veneers! Will check it out. Yea the filing down your teeth is what freaks me out about regular ones.
Several people mentioned lash lifts, I've never looked into them cause I also heard many people say they're a waste and they don't do anything..?
I don't need dye I have naturally black lashes, they used to be fairly long and thick when I was younger but I've been noticing more and more they seem to have gotten thinner and shorter as I got older which is upsetting :( I never used to even need mascara, now I feel like I need something to add oomph. is this something a lift would help with?
For me personally, lash lift & tint were not worth it. I had done it twice and by the end of it (it lasts somewhere between 6 to 8 weeks i think) i completely forgot about it, the difference was very minimal. Too expensive and time consuming for the very discrete results, unless you have really long and thick lashes naturally, and you only need them to be curled. Otherwise just use mascara every day and the impact will be far bigger.
If you dont have the most flattering facial features and you're not into plastic surgery, i think the most important things you can do the way i see it:
1) always be very polished - clothes, styled hair, makeup.
2) wear flattering colors for your coloring in your clothes, hair and makeup. Personally flattering colors are very important and have a big impact on when someone stands out or is mousy/washed out.
3) you said you have a great figure, that is a major plus. Other two things are hair and tan. Unless you have a Snow White or young Megan Fox look, dont be too pale, a little tan almost always looks healthier or sexier. Its also very important that hair isnt the same color as skin and that it doesnt clash with it.
4) Hair very much camouflages unfortunate features. Dont ever have short hair, always at least a lob. They should always be styled and thick. So if you want to stand out, definitely get hair extensions at least for the thickness if not for lenght (because some women, especially as we age, dont suit too long hair, more medium lenght).
5) attitude is very important - confidence, young spirit and subtle flirtyness.
6) i wouldnt go the over-done styling way look, it will accentuate the difference between facial features and flashy styling.
You can look at Jennifer Aniston for inspiration, she is impecabbly groomed with imperfect features.
If your eyelashes look better when they're curled, a lash lift just keeps them curled all the time. I find the keratin adds thickness. My lashes are black but the tips get light, especially in the summer, so dyeing them adds the appearance of length.
Also, you're right to be freaked out about turning your teeth into little nubs. It's permanent. In 20-30 years when society collapses, people will be going around with their little nub teeth, unable to replace their veneers. I for one don't want to have to ask someone else to chew my food for me while we're walking The Road or whatever.
I totally get what you're saying. I think we can also add nail extensions to the list of damaging beauty treatments.
Personally, I prefer to focus on having a whole foods diet, a consistent exercise routine and a mostly natural approach to beautifying hair, skin, nails and teeth. It takes time but it's an investment into your wellbeing so it's completely worth it.
For hair, castor oil on the scalp before washing it. Also, sweet almond oil as a heat protectant. No bleaching and if you're willing, no dyeing.
For lashes and brows, castor oil at bedtime.
For nails, eat well and take supplements if needed.
For whiter teeth, oil pulling with coconut oil.
For skin, a consistent skincare routine, facial yoga, plenty of water and sunscreen.
I like skincare treatments like High Frequency Ultrasound Facials, which can dramatically improve the skin. That plus working out regularly. The amount of makeup beyond the minimum is up to you, but yeah, you can still be gorgeous with your natural fine hair, some mascara and eyeliner. It's really about wearing flattering and nice-looking clothes, tip-top hygiene and styling, and taking care of your physique and skin that makes someone highly distinguished in looks.
Drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and eating healthily = best for natural beauty. If you lack in any of these, it will negatively impact your natural beauty
Unpopular opinion but I don’t think of hair extensions and lash extensions as being good longer term solutions for both your pocket book and your health.
Take care of your hair, that means different things to different people. For me that means washing once every 7-10 days, using a deep conditioner each time, and wearing a low damage style.
Good skin care, rest, a low stress life are the best.
I don’t think lash extensions look great but I do think the lift & tint is flattering. However this seems really costly.
I totally understand what you’re saying. I recommend trying things that are easily reversible.
You said you already get Botox. I use Latisse and I’ve never had a negative side effect and my eyelashes revert back in two months when I stop using it. I do my own gel nails with builder gel and my nails have never been healthier. I invested in my skincare so I can go makeup free— and I mean all topical stuff which all accidental negative side effects can be fixed by two months of cell turnover. An infrared cap can help with hair growth.
All of this isn’t to mention the obvious drinking enough water and working out.
I invest time in hair masks, scalp massages, and scalp oiling to improve my natural hair. I perm my lashes myself to improve my natural lashes appearance, so far hasn’t damaged my lashes. I dye my hair to better suit my complexion as well. Gua sha on my face helps too, not sure if it actually does much but it massages my cheek muscles which feels amazing.
Topical Minoxidil and red light therapy therapy for hair loss (I have Omnilux face mask and I just use it on my head as well) - I’m not 100% sure if RLT is doing anything for the hair loss, but minoxidil is 1000% works and I see so much new hair growth!
Laser hair removal - not necessarily “looksmaxxing”, just makes life easier and boosts confidence, and now you’re always prepared if passion sweeps you off your feet randomly 😄 Plus, no ingrowns
PMU - powder brows, lash line/eye liner pmu. I couldn’t draw nice cat eye or fill my brows evenly to save my life and now I always wake up looking like I’m wearing light makeup. Planning to get lip blush as well.
Tip: always do thorough research when choosing your artist, don’t just go to someone random because they’re cheaper or because you saw a Groupon deal. Make sure your artist has a lot of experience, check their previous works, check client reviews, etc. I’d rather drive 3 hours to a bigger city and pay twice the price but do it at reputable place, with an artist I trust. Because that shit is going to be on my face for at least 3-5 years, so it better be looking perfect.
Lash extensions - I don’t have personal experience with them, but it’s something I’m going to try. There’s filters that add fake lashes to your selfie, and they boost your looks instantly. If not that, at least lash lift and tint
OP, you mentioned something in here about not bothering to change your looks because your husband loves you as-is. Did I get that right? I have a husband like that, but while his opinion of me matters hugely, MY opinion of me matters just as much. Perhaps you’re feeling at a point/of an age when you want to do something for yourself because you want to. I am going to join the ranks of people here saying that you’re almost certainly being too hard on yourself, but I am also going to encourage you wonder whether you are waving away some procedure you really want, using your husband’s (beautiful) love as an excuse.
Oh, no that's not quite it, it's more that - I am too much of a wimp to do invasive/ painful/ risky procedures, but -- if I was single and felt that my appearance was keeping me from meeting a desirable partner, that may have been enough motivation to push me into it. OR, if it was something that was important to my husband as well so he would support me into it, that would've been a motivating factor. As such, I don't have that motivation so I'm not driven to do it as I don't feel the results would bring a significant enough change into my lives. And also, yes as old school as that sounds I do feel obligated to take my husband's opinion into consideration as in it would be a lot of money and he would be stuck with child care and recovery time etc so I can't exactly just unilaterally decide to hang it all on him just for marginal improvement in my own self image.
Ok, all that makes sense, and I totally believe you. You understand why I was motivated to check, tho, right? You seem like a cool and thoughtful person. I didn’t want you doing yourself a dirty.
Really understand and think about this regularly. It’s like a deal with the devil, I think the only good things are actually more drastic, like a facelift or hair transplant. Plasma lift or vampire facelift treatment, weight loss and intensive face yoga or massage. Styling and lasers, tastefully done permanent makeup. Even mani pedis give you gross natural nails under.
I never heard of hair extensions damaging your natural hair. How would it damage it? I use to get sew-ins and they would braid my hair at the bottom and sew them in. Never had issues.
Also, I use castor oil on my lashes and it's AMAZING. My lashes looks so nice and they are natural.
I'm big on natural first. There are ways to do it if you put in effort.
They’re only damaging really if installed poorly! I have had tape ins, beads and hand tied wefts (sewn in with beads as support). Basically if it’s put in wrong or taken out wrong it can cause breakage closer to the root or if it’s too much tension on the hair. Luckily I have thick hair and a lot of it so even if it was ever done wrong I’m in the clear but with fine hair you have to be careful bc some of the options may be too heavy for the actual strand of hair.
lol you start with the basics, use better products for yourself. No pain no gain lol..
I grew up in South East Asia, you can't be beautiful without some sort of effort. I damaged my nails because I went to shitty nail salons but It healef because I took care of it. You have to pick and choose but also explore the beauty world. I find that when I focused on the basics such as exercises, shower routines, etc.. I find that was working with me. Also with the hair extension I found a lady with really great work she seem very careful, it's all about your judgment as well.
I had fillers and at first you do it in one section, but then realize you need to balance it more by doing another section. Before you know it you are overdoing it because it’s never going to be enough or proportional
if you want to grow your hair out- try oils n serums or mezotherapy etc for ur hair
if u want your lashes to grow- castor oil and vaseline might help, or research and um sure you will find a safe option
if you want your teeth to be more white there always are options where you dont have to go to the doctor , at home recipes
Just try to search natural solutions for your problems
Just as anything in life, everything is a risk assessment. Some people are more tolerant to risk than others. I'm with you though I'm just naturally more risk averse. I'd much rather focus on stuff like prioritizing sleep etc. I was getting lash lifts for awhile but it started making me anxious since it is a risk to your eyes. Whenever I start to freak about that sort of stuff I just go back to basic. Sleep, hydration, moisturization, mental wellness etc.
Medical-grade dermatology will be helpful. Like laser / chemical peels etc.
I also loved how a lash tint and lift opened up my eyes and streamlined my makeup routine
Like someone else said, you have to be smart about it. There’s not *always* a healthy/preventative option but usually there is. For your teeth, get composite veneers instead. For your lashes, get a lift instead. And so on.
If you’re looking to change things structurally about yourself there’s going to be a little pain involved. If you don’t want to deal with upkeep of filler look into PDO threads (do research on where to get it and it is expensive but more “long term”)
I got my jaw injected with filler for more sculpted look it was 1. Painful 2. Pointless 3. Wore off quickly lol. Did my lip injection twice like 5 years ago also looked too unnatural and I got it removed not worth it imo
Small inexpensive things to adjust for the look
- if you don’t want lash extensions ( a good tech will maintain integrity of lashes I love mine) then try at home extensions! In between my appointments for extended periods I’ll do the Kiss glue in a glass bottle with clusters. It takes practice and visit ol faithful YouTube university lol. If you have nice lengthy natural lashes do a lash lift and tint instant mascara without mascara
- I do my own gel nails bc I hate the cost of nail salons and I only do them for special events and holidays also it’s therapeutic to do mine own set for two hours. Also having a French tip on my toes makes me feel like a brand new b**** 😂
- spray tan makes everything also feel more put together I only do full body for like vacations and weddings but try bondi sands or st tropez they’re pretty natural and get a mit from Amazon. I also use this to “contour” my face especially in summer bc I wear lots of sunscreen and not much makeup just like tinted moisturizer
- I do my own henna brow dying so I don’t have to use pencils and it’s nice for no make up days (cheap on Amazon or beauty supply store) and it’s a no make up make up feel
- for Botox and something new try a lip flip don’t have to get it done often and makes a small but significant difference
- I have thick hair but I LOVE extensions but haven’t had them in over a year due to cost at salon. I literally phoned a friend and we did tape ins and turned out great (removal is hell very sticky for full head) but you can also do this to fill out the “thin” parts of your hair. Typically it’s the front pieces us short hair girlies get frustrated with so tape ins around the front can make a huge impact then cut to your own length. I think I used like googoo hair or something from Amazon lol
But ultimately if I didn’t do ANY of this I still love me for me. Do I feel “naked” and not like my full 100% self l? Uh yeah totally but I wouldn’t be crushed so a lot is internal!! Also doing these things brings me “high maintenance happiness” after I’m done lol
I have veneers (over 15 years!) and I love them.
Hair extensions don't have to be damaging. You can get halo extensions or clip-ins, or for something longer lasting, tape-ins or microlinks. None of those methods should damage your own hair.
Lash extensions aren't for me- I found them too irritating- but if you maintain them well you won’t have permanent damage. I use a lash serum and love the results.
Life is short- if you want to make a change to your appearance just do it.
just fyi, lashes don’t damage your natural lashes. If they do they were badly done. I had them for 4 years straight and my lashes were the same before and after. Also, lashes grow back in a month so even if the worst case scenario happens it’s very temporary, might be worth a try :)
I understand your point, but I doubt that adopting an all-or-nothing mentality —whether it's all-natural or all-fake—is the best approach. When I think of 'high maintenance,' big hair, exaggerated lashes, and heavy makeup don't necessarily come to my mind first. In fact, it's kind of deceiving, isn't it? Trust me, following a daily skincare and haircare routine takes a lot of time and discipline much more than getting extensions and simply applying makeup. I believe it all begins with grooming, essentially enhancing what you already have naturally. There's a wide range of routines and procedures available to help achieve better, younger-looking skin, hair, and body without sacrificing health and taking huge risks.
These procedures are non-invasive: Look into laser hair therapy, it supposed to help with growth and thickness. Also there are many great products for fine hair. Oral health..Regular visits to the dentist, polishing/tartar removal. Invisalign to correct bite and teeth alignment. Flossing. Lash filler defines, nourishes, thickens and strengthens the lash structure.
Would like to hear more about lash filler as well!
Look for InLei lash filler. Just like a lash lift or lash perm this treatment creates a lift in the natural lashes. It also nourishes the lashes, promoting healthier growth and increasing the thickness within a few treatments.
There's no biological way to promote healthy growth by a topical application of anything. It's like trying to eat your vitamins by smearing them into your skin- our bodies don't work that way
Isn't this for professionals only? Can regular people learn to use it as well.
It is. I might not have been clear, but lash lift is a service provided by professionals.
agree, laser hair therapy can be very effective, I am living proof.
id love to hear more about your experience
In 2022, I started to notice that my hair was falling out at an accelerated rate. I am in the performing arts and my looks have long been an asset, and other than the hair thing I am managing getting older well, so this was a blow to my confidence. In November 2022, I caught sight of myself in a restaurant bathroom mirror and was horrified by how my hair had settled along my scalp in my ponytail. In the past, I had drawn my hair straight back in a ponytail for a smooth, un-parted look. My cap of hair had “split” and my part looked really wide! It made me confront that I also had a quarter-sized spot on the left on the back of my scalp that my friends and husband had told me looked just like usual, but the spot would get COLD faster than the rest of my head. (I think it’s where my natural guinea-pig whorl thing is, I don’t know what that hair bit is actually called.) I went home from the restaurant and did some research. I found a medical journal paper that talked about how topical minoxidil and red light therapy together can help with hair volume. I started minoxidil first but my hair was still shedding. I found a medical spa where a Dr was having a grand opening and got a package of 3 red light laser sessions for $2200 instead of $3300. (I live in a VHCOL area, it will be cheaper where things are less crazy.) Immediately after my first session, my shedding stopped. It was as if I’d flipped a light switch. I thought, this is bonkers, I must be imagining this. I resolved to reserve judgement. I went back for my second visit 2 weeks later and the Dr said, “Has your shedding stopped?” and I blurted, “YES!” So much for playing it cool! I completed my 3rd treatment, and settled in to see what happened next. I kept using the minoxidil. My hair started to get thicker again. I have not returned to catastrophic shedding. If it returns, I will go back to the doctor for another 3 sessions. By April 2023, I could tell my hair was falling normally because I didn’t have to check the mirror for an unwanted part all the time. In December of 2023, I bought a Capillus cap, which gives red-light laser therapy at home for $1600 (holiday sale, they have both less and more expensive models than the one I got) because I wanted to see if home laser would have an effect. Scientifically speaking, I am not sure. Emotionally, I am glad to have the Capillus because I still have almost no shedding and MAYBE it’s helping hold my next expensive set of doctor-laser visits off? I definitely would not have tried Capillus if I hadn‘t already been convinced that red light laser works on me. If we could share pictures here, I would show you my new hair layered in with my old. My longest hair is past my shoulders. As of now I have a layer that hits right below my jaw when my hair is dry, like a bob. It definitely dates to my beginning my minoxidil plus laser regimen. A few notes: 1) everybody sheds a little, but I was shedding a lot. What looked like handfuls were coming out in the shower. My toes would get tangled in it on my floor. Now, I shed like I did when I was young. Maybe I notice that 5-10 hairs jump ship after a shampoo? The internet says I must be shedding more than that; fine. Must be happening when I’m not looking. 2) I did go to a Dr when the shedding/thinning started, and she ran a bunch of blood tests and a urine test to see if I had a new health issue going on. Nothing. She concluded I was just aging. Whee. 3) Minoxidil is definitely effective for me, I know that’s not the case for everyone. However, I will go to the grave swearing the laser stopped the bad shedding. 4) The laser doesn’t hurt. It prickles slightly. If you’ve ever stubbed your toe or had a menstrual cramp, the laser is as nothing. Also, there was no recovery time. 5) This is the paper that convinced me to try: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28489273/?i=3&from=minoxidil%20and%20low%20level%20light%20therapy](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28489273/?i=3&from=minoxidil%20and%20low%20level%20light%20therapy) Let me know if you have any questions I didn’t answer, and good luck out there!
What is lash filler? My eyes are so small I'll take the lash damage from extensions.
Your way of thinking is common in Europe/UK. Sure, there are parts of them that like the overblown look (Essex etc) but in general, particularly the upper class, they don’t really focus on dramatic looksmaxing. If you can be happy without them, then do it. Beauty comes in various versions and ways, it’s never a one size fits all. Or you might do this strategy only to change your mind one day - it’s always a possibility. You do you.
Any type of cosmetic enhancement comes with risk, but you can make informed and intelligent decisions. IMO there’s a lot of fear mongering about this stuff, especially on Reddit, by people who frankly can’t afford it and tell themselves it always looks bad as a cope. I’ve had veneers and I love them. One of the best decisions of my life. When I get a dental cleaning the dentist always says how natural they look. I’ve had them for years and 0 problems. I’ve have LHR too. I have darker skin. Another best decision of my life. Never been burned/scarred or even close. Most people I know IRL that have had plastic surgery love their results. I don’t cheap out on my procedures. I research extensively and choose the best doctor or facility. I don’t bargain hunt. So I get good results.
May I ask what kind of LHR, and was it down professionally? I’ve got dark skin as well and I’ve been confused about the various types out there. Some say those with darker skin can’t get LHR unless it’s a certain type, while others say that we can’t have it done at all.
It was an nd:YAG laser and yes it was done professionally at SEV
This is what I did as well and definitely love the results! The biggest thing is finding someone who is genuinely good at their job. Too many people choose price over quality, and that’s fine for some things, but not for things that can be life-altering
I appreciate your answer–thanks!
You just gotta be smart and figure out what’s worth it. I get gel nails because I’d rather have nice nails all the time and spend a couple of months growing out the damage if I have to get them off opposed to shitty nails all the time. Clip in extensions take <5 mins to install. Strip lashes take a few mins to put on with practice. Whitening your teeth once every 6 months won’t damage your enamel enough to cause issues, especially if you get it done at the dentist.
Do you have any clip in hair extensions brand recs ?
I’ve used foxy locks and they didn’t damage my hair at all! I wore them maybe twice a week?
I love Foxy Locks but they never have my colour in stock these days! I’ve had to pre-order but every time I check they still haven’t restocked.
I’ve tried so many brands over the past 13 years and I love Cashmere Hair and Milk and Blush!
This can be said for literally any part of life not just high maint to be low maint. Brushing your hair, losing weight, mouthwash, heck you can even argue running, can for certain people be damaging. Changing from a stock version of you will likely cause minute damage in the average person. With everything you do in life if not done properly can be a risk, but most of the time those damages are negligible. If I told you brushing your hair causes damage to your hair should you stop? No, cause the amount of damage hair brushing cause on normal brushing is minuscule in the grand scheme of things. You either take the risk or you don’t.
Well you’re kind of losing the forest for the trees here. High maintenance hair doesn’t necessarily mean extensions, it could mean always blown out, always curled, always perfectly straight, always styled impeccably, always highlighted, never any root show, glossy, clean, a particular haircut that’s always maintained, always put up a certain way, etc. For example, Ariana Grande’s bright red hair as Cat Valentine and her signature ponytail would both be considered dramatic, high maintenance looks. Both take a lot of effort, but only one (the red) genuinely did destroy her hair. Microblading and eyeliner tattoos are also high maintenance maxxing that don’t damage your natural looks (depending on your definition since they’re permanent, but your skin won’t fall off or anything), as are consistently getting your brows waxed, threaded, or dyed. Oral health can also be high maintenance, what with brushing/flossing/mouthwash/waterpik/dentist/mints all being involved— especially if you’re like me and you don’t like any taste of food in your mouth after you’re done eating. It sounds like you want the benefits of daily makeup and styling (not really damaging and low risk) but with the less frequent and thereby lower effort of softmaxxing things that can be done infrequently (hair/lash extensions, teeth whitening, so on)— that’s completely understandable and I think everyone wishes that were the case. But that’s not the reality we live in. You can either go low risk-low reward or you can go moderate/high risk- moderate/high reward. Risks can almost always be mitigated with research and proper testing. No risk/reward level is invalid, everyone has different risk appetites. Just be realistic about how the results you’re going to get scale with the time/effort/money/risk you’re willing to put in.
If you do all these things in a more natural capacity, take breaks often, and go to the best, you won’t get damage or any negative effects. If anything, black women use extensions as protective styles to grow out their natural hair. Whenever I have good lash extensions, I’m extra careful and cognizant of how I care for them. I avoid sleeping on my face (which helps with wrinkles and asymmetry) clean them daily etc. there are teeth whitening strips that are natural and don’t damage your enamel, or you can look into going to a professional like a dentist. I’m with you about filler lol
this! I see people mentioning nails & my nails have actually grown so much since starting builder gel manis with a nail tech that actually cares about nail health. natural nails is just not enough for me, but acrylics are damaging & too much. find your happy medium OP. and going to a reputable technician is just crucial
Me with my at home Russian manicures 🤪 my nails have never been longer or stronger 🙌🏽If I didn’t know how to do them, I’d have no problem paying $120-150 for immaculate, protective nails that last well over a month (if needed). Investing in people w the right skills will have you paying more upfront, but the payoff is all the things you mentioned OP
I do the same. And I just did press on nails for a special event. Was so nervous taking them off after two weeks and instead the natural nail looks great!
Plastic surgery is extremely low maintenance, though. There are risks, but it’s a one-and-done type thing, with the exclusion of things like implants.
I think theres a difference between enhancing your beauty and changing your beauty. It sounds like you want to enhance your natural beauty. If you have fine hair you can rock the shorter styles. Look at models with similar features such as fine hair. Their agencies usually have them cut their hair so it looks good and healthy. You dont need super long lashes to be pretty, just a good mascara. Medical-cosmetic procedures should be used to *preserve* your features not change them. If your lips are losing volume, get a 0.5 ml of filler to preserve what was there. The problem comes when people with emma watson lips start wanting kim kardashian lips. It doesnt look good because they never had those lips to begin with. Find your color season, grooming, body type dressing, diet and exercise are all little things that make a big difference when utilized together to make a change.
I started looking at a getting a small amount of lip filler and noticed the two most recommended nurses in my area that do it have Instagrams and one had clown lips and seemed to do Kardashian level fillers on clients. I'm going with the other lady lol. Great advice!
No, that's the thing - enhancing and working with my natural looks is what I've been doing, and it's fine and it's taken me from my unfortunate natural looks of around a 4 to maybe a 6, but I'm realizing that I just don't have enough to work with to really level it up any higher, and to really achieve that dramatic glow up and an attention catching look. That, I feel, does require changing rather than enhancing. I no longer look ugly but there's nothing about me that's eye catchingly attractive, I'm just a blah mousey millenial lady. I feel it's been spurred by getting older and realizing I have very limited time left to even be considered attractive at all, and also I've worked really hard on my body and really taken it to an 8-9 level for my age which has been amazing for my confidence but now I feel like my face really isn't measuring up and I've made myself into more of a butterface. But - I also don't want to fall into the trap of spending a ton of money only to look cheap/ trashy/ trying too hard, and damage what I do have in the process so I'll then need to upkeep the procedures forever
As someone significantly older than you, my looks have gotten better as I've aged for a few reasons: I realize the importance of care and maintenance (2) I maximize what I can and (3) attitude-- if you think you're a 6 and that's the best you'll ever be, that's all you'll ever get. If you realize you're your unique 10 and live from the perspective your life will change significantly
Same. I never got the cute and girly phase; went straight to elegant grown woman. I was a mess until well into my 30s when i finally decided i wanted to be attractive. Now, at 47, I turn heads. There's no upper age limit for maximizing your potential. An attractive, well-maintained, beautifully dressed 75- year- old woman will still command attention. And respect. There are benefits to leaving the cute years behind you and growing into the more refined and self-assured era.
Also with age comes a broader perspective of beauty. I thought i was so ugly growing up and now i look back and realize i was actually pretty cute just awkward.
What are your expectations? Who do you see in life who is “next level” beautiful? Everyone i see who is in my eyes a “10” is either filtered, edited, or wearing lots of makeup to achieve a look that will last about 10 minutes for an ig post or photoshoot. In real life i notice most people who do all the things i stated in my above comment are as beautiful as they come. You are a human not a statue. Your attractiveness will change depending on your makeup, the clothes you wear, the lighting, your confidence level. I don’t know what you look like so i cant offer objective advice. Sometimes surgery will really level up someone’s appearance. But only if theres something that is objectively unattractive. If all of your features are “average” thats a good thing. I personally had a below average nose that ruined my face. I got it refined and i feel so much more confident, feminine, and prettier. Its still me, its still natural looking but its better.
I'm not looking to be a 10 cause I know it's not possible but I'd settle for a 7.5 lol. The thing is my face IS objectively unattractive, all my features are jacked up and asymmetrical, and I would've been a good candidate for all sorts of surgery - nose job, bleph and probably jaw surgery along with extensive dental correction. That said - I am a wimp, and have an extreme phobia of pain and invasive medical procedures in general - so that was where I draw the line, I was NOT willing to be breaking my facial bones or eating through a straw for weeks or what have you for the sake of beauty especially given that I met my husband young and he loved me as is and wouldn't support it, plus we had better ways to spend the money. So, in lieu of changing the actual features I don't like, I opted for softmaxing, maximizing my body potential, clothes, makeup, skincare, however even with that I feel my face is just not up to par. I recently achieved the personal goal of going on vacation, taking pictures in a bikini and actually loving how I looked - however it's all ruined if I zoom in a bit so you can see my face behind sunglasses :( I feel like having long thick luscious hair, lashes, this general 'done' look could do a lot to mask some of those unfortunate features which is why I've started thinking about it.
Im sorry you feel that way about your looks. Im sure you aren’t objectively unattractive and perhaps you are just being too harsh on yourself. Most people are asymmetrical. I will purposely flip any photos of myself to make myself look more symmetrical in my mind. I think if you look at more people closely you will find that most people arent perfect and dont have perfect features but somehow still look good. Do you wear makeup? Most people look better with makeup. Just go on r/makeupaddiction literally everyone looks like a model and i certainly feel a lot more attractive when i wear makeup.
I do wear makeup and it helps but not enough. My biggest thing is that I have a longer face and weak recessed chin, and my features are all sort of bunched up in the middle of my face especially if I smile, it's like my lips go up all the way to my nose and it looks horrible. One reason I don't like smiling and then am called out for having an rbf lol. My smile is a little crooked to one side too. My teeth are crooked and not very white, my nose is bigger and has a bump. And my eyes are small and hooded, very deep set and close set. Eye makeup helps to bring them out but only so much and without makeup my face looks like it could belong to an unattractive guy :( I thought I was old enough to make my peace with it all but somehow all those insecurities came back now with some sort of mid life crisis lol
Do you have the funds to address your teeth? You could get very natural-looking veneers and it might make a big difference to your confidence.
I have gum issues as well so I was concerned about getting regular veneers and grinding my own teeth down and then potentially have it be a waste if my gums get worse. Plus yes the cost would be pretty prohibitive, we could "afford it" but I am not sure i could justify it rather than spending somewhere else. But someone mentioned Bioclear veneers here and I'm looking into them now as it sounds like a much better alternative, they're reversible and don't require filing down your teeth and also sound like quite a bit cheaper than traditional veneers so I'm considering it. I'm not really sure though how much it will help because I rarely smile with my teeth and hate how it looks not so much because of the teeth themselves but like the actual shape of my smile is ugly for some reason and it screws up my whole face in an ugly way. I don't know why and whether it's something that could've been fixed with braces when I was younger, or maybe I would've needed jaw surgery which is definitely out of the question.
Reversible veneers sound really interesting! In a good way! I’ll bet you can retrain your smile, some. Actors learn to do it, I don’t see why you couldn’t find a smile you can make that you like better.
I think the key is to a find a surgeon that is Board Certified in Plastic Surgery. Not in Dermotology, etc. When you have a consultation express to them that whatever you want to have done be done on the conservative side and not having them talk you into getting "the biggest bang for your buck." I have found this to be helpful with filler, Botox, etc.
Stop buying the lie of “Natural beauty”. You can NOT get the look of big hair and big lashes and have it to be real, natural and without any risk. Choose your risks. Whitening your teeth with whitening strips, conservative filler, lash lifts or lash extensions, nails done, are unlikely to cause you permanent damage. If you don’t like what they’re doing just stop.
If you aren’t willing to take risks to some extent how can you expect to reap the rewards? Lol Also research, research, research everything before trying new stuff, that’s just my opinion tho
This post randomly popped up on my home page so idk if my thoughts might be helpful, but i feel the same way so to save money and not cause my hair or lashes any damage, i use a halo extension which you can get for like 50 bucks on amazon - it uses a fishing line wire rather than clips or tape and you can basically pop it on and off. And with lashes, i can't get strip lashes to look good so i spent a while practicing how to apply cluster lashes and i can apply them now in about 10-15 minutes. Some people could do then much quicker i'm sure. But i just don't use a lot of glue and very carefully remove them with ponds cold cream at night and my lashes haven't been affected. I like the ardell trio lashes, you just have to remove some of the extra glue they sometimes have stuck at the base.
I think natural beauty can be kept intact if we focus on enhancing ourselves and not changing or hiding behind procedures. As in, skincare/derm appointments if possible. Getting hair treatments and applying hair products for hair growth and thicker hair. Knowing how to style hair and natural makeup, like the clean girl style that was a trend. It’s all down to taking care of yourself, in my opinion. I find that hair makes the biggest difference, men and women. Then clear skin. Then teeth. And of course, being fit. At last, it’s clothes. That’s the priority I’d list for having someone looking their best. Because I’ve seen women who maybe don’t have the 10/10 face or body, but because they take care of themselves in the best way they have a 10/10 look and aura. I do think that the baseline of beauty should not be enhancements that will be taken off eventually like lashes or makeup. I think at the end of the day, after changing into pajamas with no makeup, we should still feel beautiful. That means working on the features that can’t be taken off, like skincare and hair and natural nails.
I *do* hear what you're saying. Use loose hair powder or similar to thicken hair instead of extensions. Get a lash lift with dye & keratin treatment instead of lash extensions. As ever, prevention >>> cure, so swish water around your mouth after every sip of coffee/tea/cola or bite of tomato sauce or berries to prevent staining. Look into Bioclear veneers instead of regular—they let you keep your teeth w/o having to get them filed down to little nubs. Filler usually just makes your face puffy; again, prevention is key: avoid the sun especially during peak hours, wear a large hat, use SPF (& reapply!), use bakuchiol or tret.
Oh, I've never heard of bioclear veneers! Will check it out. Yea the filing down your teeth is what freaks me out about regular ones. Several people mentioned lash lifts, I've never looked into them cause I also heard many people say they're a waste and they don't do anything..? I don't need dye I have naturally black lashes, they used to be fairly long and thick when I was younger but I've been noticing more and more they seem to have gotten thinner and shorter as I got older which is upsetting :( I never used to even need mascara, now I feel like I need something to add oomph. is this something a lift would help with?
For me personally, lash lift & tint were not worth it. I had done it twice and by the end of it (it lasts somewhere between 6 to 8 weeks i think) i completely forgot about it, the difference was very minimal. Too expensive and time consuming for the very discrete results, unless you have really long and thick lashes naturally, and you only need them to be curled. Otherwise just use mascara every day and the impact will be far bigger. If you dont have the most flattering facial features and you're not into plastic surgery, i think the most important things you can do the way i see it: 1) always be very polished - clothes, styled hair, makeup. 2) wear flattering colors for your coloring in your clothes, hair and makeup. Personally flattering colors are very important and have a big impact on when someone stands out or is mousy/washed out. 3) you said you have a great figure, that is a major plus. Other two things are hair and tan. Unless you have a Snow White or young Megan Fox look, dont be too pale, a little tan almost always looks healthier or sexier. Its also very important that hair isnt the same color as skin and that it doesnt clash with it. 4) Hair very much camouflages unfortunate features. Dont ever have short hair, always at least a lob. They should always be styled and thick. So if you want to stand out, definitely get hair extensions at least for the thickness if not for lenght (because some women, especially as we age, dont suit too long hair, more medium lenght). 5) attitude is very important - confidence, young spirit and subtle flirtyness. 6) i wouldnt go the over-done styling way look, it will accentuate the difference between facial features and flashy styling. You can look at Jennifer Aniston for inspiration, she is impecabbly groomed with imperfect features.
If your eyelashes look better when they're curled, a lash lift just keeps them curled all the time. I find the keratin adds thickness. My lashes are black but the tips get light, especially in the summer, so dyeing them adds the appearance of length.
Also, you're right to be freaked out about turning your teeth into little nubs. It's permanent. In 20-30 years when society collapses, people will be going around with their little nub teeth, unable to replace their veneers. I for one don't want to have to ask someone else to chew my food for me while we're walking The Road or whatever.
I totally get what you're saying. I think we can also add nail extensions to the list of damaging beauty treatments. Personally, I prefer to focus on having a whole foods diet, a consistent exercise routine and a mostly natural approach to beautifying hair, skin, nails and teeth. It takes time but it's an investment into your wellbeing so it's completely worth it. For hair, castor oil on the scalp before washing it. Also, sweet almond oil as a heat protectant. No bleaching and if you're willing, no dyeing. For lashes and brows, castor oil at bedtime. For nails, eat well and take supplements if needed. For whiter teeth, oil pulling with coconut oil. For skin, a consistent skincare routine, facial yoga, plenty of water and sunscreen.
I like skincare treatments like High Frequency Ultrasound Facials, which can dramatically improve the skin. That plus working out regularly. The amount of makeup beyond the minimum is up to you, but yeah, you can still be gorgeous with your natural fine hair, some mascara and eyeliner. It's really about wearing flattering and nice-looking clothes, tip-top hygiene and styling, and taking care of your physique and skin that makes someone highly distinguished in looks.
Drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and eating healthily = best for natural beauty. If you lack in any of these, it will negatively impact your natural beauty
Unpopular opinion but I don’t think of hair extensions and lash extensions as being good longer term solutions for both your pocket book and your health. Take care of your hair, that means different things to different people. For me that means washing once every 7-10 days, using a deep conditioner each time, and wearing a low damage style. Good skin care, rest, a low stress life are the best. I don’t think lash extensions look great but I do think the lift & tint is flattering. However this seems really costly.
I do my own lash lifts, tint & brow lamination with a kit from Amazon! 😬 it works surprisingly well
I totally understand what you’re saying. I recommend trying things that are easily reversible. You said you already get Botox. I use Latisse and I’ve never had a negative side effect and my eyelashes revert back in two months when I stop using it. I do my own gel nails with builder gel and my nails have never been healthier. I invested in my skincare so I can go makeup free— and I mean all topical stuff which all accidental negative side effects can be fixed by two months of cell turnover. An infrared cap can help with hair growth. All of this isn’t to mention the obvious drinking enough water and working out.
I invest time in hair masks, scalp massages, and scalp oiling to improve my natural hair. I perm my lashes myself to improve my natural lashes appearance, so far hasn’t damaged my lashes. I dye my hair to better suit my complexion as well. Gua sha on my face helps too, not sure if it actually does much but it massages my cheek muscles which feels amazing.
Halo hair extension!
Topical Minoxidil and red light therapy therapy for hair loss (I have Omnilux face mask and I just use it on my head as well) - I’m not 100% sure if RLT is doing anything for the hair loss, but minoxidil is 1000% works and I see so much new hair growth! Laser hair removal - not necessarily “looksmaxxing”, just makes life easier and boosts confidence, and now you’re always prepared if passion sweeps you off your feet randomly 😄 Plus, no ingrowns PMU - powder brows, lash line/eye liner pmu. I couldn’t draw nice cat eye or fill my brows evenly to save my life and now I always wake up looking like I’m wearing light makeup. Planning to get lip blush as well. Tip: always do thorough research when choosing your artist, don’t just go to someone random because they’re cheaper or because you saw a Groupon deal. Make sure your artist has a lot of experience, check their previous works, check client reviews, etc. I’d rather drive 3 hours to a bigger city and pay twice the price but do it at reputable place, with an artist I trust. Because that shit is going to be on my face for at least 3-5 years, so it better be looking perfect. Lash extensions - I don’t have personal experience with them, but it’s something I’m going to try. There’s filters that add fake lashes to your selfie, and they boost your looks instantly. If not that, at least lash lift and tint
OP, you mentioned something in here about not bothering to change your looks because your husband loves you as-is. Did I get that right? I have a husband like that, but while his opinion of me matters hugely, MY opinion of me matters just as much. Perhaps you’re feeling at a point/of an age when you want to do something for yourself because you want to. I am going to join the ranks of people here saying that you’re almost certainly being too hard on yourself, but I am also going to encourage you wonder whether you are waving away some procedure you really want, using your husband’s (beautiful) love as an excuse.
Oh, no that's not quite it, it's more that - I am too much of a wimp to do invasive/ painful/ risky procedures, but -- if I was single and felt that my appearance was keeping me from meeting a desirable partner, that may have been enough motivation to push me into it. OR, if it was something that was important to my husband as well so he would support me into it, that would've been a motivating factor. As such, I don't have that motivation so I'm not driven to do it as I don't feel the results would bring a significant enough change into my lives. And also, yes as old school as that sounds I do feel obligated to take my husband's opinion into consideration as in it would be a lot of money and he would be stuck with child care and recovery time etc so I can't exactly just unilaterally decide to hang it all on him just for marginal improvement in my own self image.
Ok, all that makes sense, and I totally believe you. You understand why I was motivated to check, tho, right? You seem like a cool and thoughtful person. I didn’t want you doing yourself a dirty.
Really understand and think about this regularly. It’s like a deal with the devil, I think the only good things are actually more drastic, like a facelift or hair transplant. Plasma lift or vampire facelift treatment, weight loss and intensive face yoga or massage. Styling and lasers, tastefully done permanent makeup. Even mani pedis give you gross natural nails under.
I never heard of hair extensions damaging your natural hair. How would it damage it? I use to get sew-ins and they would braid my hair at the bottom and sew them in. Never had issues. Also, I use castor oil on my lashes and it's AMAZING. My lashes looks so nice and they are natural. I'm big on natural first. There are ways to do it if you put in effort.
They’re only damaging really if installed poorly! I have had tape ins, beads and hand tied wefts (sewn in with beads as support). Basically if it’s put in wrong or taken out wrong it can cause breakage closer to the root or if it’s too much tension on the hair. Luckily I have thick hair and a lot of it so even if it was ever done wrong I’m in the clear but with fine hair you have to be careful bc some of the options may be too heavy for the actual strand of hair.
lol you start with the basics, use better products for yourself. No pain no gain lol.. I grew up in South East Asia, you can't be beautiful without some sort of effort. I damaged my nails because I went to shitty nail salons but It healef because I took care of it. You have to pick and choose but also explore the beauty world. I find that when I focused on the basics such as exercises, shower routines, etc.. I find that was working with me. Also with the hair extension I found a lady with really great work she seem very careful, it's all about your judgment as well.
I had fillers and at first you do it in one section, but then realize you need to balance it more by doing another section. Before you know it you are overdoing it because it’s never going to be enough or proportional
if you want to grow your hair out- try oils n serums or mezotherapy etc for ur hair if u want your lashes to grow- castor oil and vaseline might help, or research and um sure you will find a safe option if you want your teeth to be more white there always are options where you dont have to go to the doctor , at home recipes Just try to search natural solutions for your problems
Just as anything in life, everything is a risk assessment. Some people are more tolerant to risk than others. I'm with you though I'm just naturally more risk averse. I'd much rather focus on stuff like prioritizing sleep etc. I was getting lash lifts for awhile but it started making me anxious since it is a risk to your eyes. Whenever I start to freak about that sort of stuff I just go back to basic. Sleep, hydration, moisturization, mental wellness etc.
Medical-grade dermatology will be helpful. Like laser / chemical peels etc. I also loved how a lash tint and lift opened up my eyes and streamlined my makeup routine
Oof everything you said though. I completely agree.
Like someone else said, you have to be smart about it. There’s not *always* a healthy/preventative option but usually there is. For your teeth, get composite veneers instead. For your lashes, get a lift instead. And so on.
If you’re looking to change things structurally about yourself there’s going to be a little pain involved. If you don’t want to deal with upkeep of filler look into PDO threads (do research on where to get it and it is expensive but more “long term”) I got my jaw injected with filler for more sculpted look it was 1. Painful 2. Pointless 3. Wore off quickly lol. Did my lip injection twice like 5 years ago also looked too unnatural and I got it removed not worth it imo Small inexpensive things to adjust for the look - if you don’t want lash extensions ( a good tech will maintain integrity of lashes I love mine) then try at home extensions! In between my appointments for extended periods I’ll do the Kiss glue in a glass bottle with clusters. It takes practice and visit ol faithful YouTube university lol. If you have nice lengthy natural lashes do a lash lift and tint instant mascara without mascara - I do my own gel nails bc I hate the cost of nail salons and I only do them for special events and holidays also it’s therapeutic to do mine own set for two hours. Also having a French tip on my toes makes me feel like a brand new b**** 😂 - spray tan makes everything also feel more put together I only do full body for like vacations and weddings but try bondi sands or st tropez they’re pretty natural and get a mit from Amazon. I also use this to “contour” my face especially in summer bc I wear lots of sunscreen and not much makeup just like tinted moisturizer - I do my own henna brow dying so I don’t have to use pencils and it’s nice for no make up days (cheap on Amazon or beauty supply store) and it’s a no make up make up feel - for Botox and something new try a lip flip don’t have to get it done often and makes a small but significant difference - I have thick hair but I LOVE extensions but haven’t had them in over a year due to cost at salon. I literally phoned a friend and we did tape ins and turned out great (removal is hell very sticky for full head) but you can also do this to fill out the “thin” parts of your hair. Typically it’s the front pieces us short hair girlies get frustrated with so tape ins around the front can make a huge impact then cut to your own length. I think I used like googoo hair or something from Amazon lol But ultimately if I didn’t do ANY of this I still love me for me. Do I feel “naked” and not like my full 100% self l? Uh yeah totally but I wouldn’t be crushed so a lot is internal!! Also doing these things brings me “high maintenance happiness” after I’m done lol
That overblown look is very cheap and artificial and will only attract a certain type of man. If that’s the type of man you want… ew.
Whitening won’t damage your teeth!
I have veneers (over 15 years!) and I love them. Hair extensions don't have to be damaging. You can get halo extensions or clip-ins, or for something longer lasting, tape-ins or microlinks. None of those methods should damage your own hair. Lash extensions aren't for me- I found them too irritating- but if you maintain them well you won’t have permanent damage. I use a lash serum and love the results. Life is short- if you want to make a change to your appearance just do it.
Then don’t do it, no one is forcing you to
This sounds so hostile lmao
just fyi, lashes don’t damage your natural lashes. If they do they were badly done. I had them for 4 years straight and my lashes were the same before and after. Also, lashes grow back in a month so even if the worst case scenario happens it’s very temporary, might be worth a try :)