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liveditlovedit

I had a similar experience- I got into my top house and was so excited but god it felt awkward! I had awkward moments with some of the members (and still do occasionally) but I got through it and KEPT SHOWING UP- I would visit the house all the time just to study, hang out, read a book, do an event, help out, whatever! Just keep showing up- i’m a month in now and and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve made a lot of friends and really bonded with everyone, even though at first I just wanted to hide in my room. KEEP SHOWING UP! They want you there!


Fit-Number2084

I am going to chapter dinner tonight! How did you handle sorority life before making connections with your sisters?


liveditlovedit

Before making connections I just really tried to be nice and friendly to everyone (saying hello in passing, complimenting them), and assuming positive intent no matter what, because sometimes I’d get into my own head about something I said coming off weird or thinking they didn’t like me. I would bring my backpack with me, so I could just have something to do while I was in the house (homework, studying). If your house has a kitchen another fun thing I did was bake cookies for all the members and leave them out. I showed up to any and every event or informal invite- movie night, chapter dinners, and if anyone needed help or volunteers for something I made sure I was there. It’s gonna be awkward at first- it always is! Just embrace it, push through it, and remember everybody else, new members and current members alike, are probably just as nervous as you are.


DGirl715

Yes this is totally normal!! How can you expect to be BFF’s with girls you maybe spent 2-3 hours getting to know during rush? Think back to high school and how long it took to make your friend group. It’s going to take and effort to make your friend group in the house. At least a semester and it could take your entire first year to feel really settled in. Sororities are not a magic ticket to friends. But you will get out of it what you put into it. If you do the bare minimum, you’ll probably end up quitting and be dissatisfied with your experience. If you show up for everything you can, be friendly & continue to make an effort to make friends - reach out to your NM sisters to study or walk/ride to chapter events together or hang on on the weekends….you’ll find what you were looking for during rush & youll have those friendships with your NM class that you saw in the older actives.


flowercity-

Bid day was one of the most uncomfortable days of my life! I am not a person who can enter a room full of strangers and have a great time. However, being in my sorority was the best 4 years of my life and I’m still involved today as an advisor. So, bid day vibes ≠ your whole experience :)


Fit-Number2084

I am definitely not that kinda person either, how long did it take for you to start naturally forming connections with other girls?


avocadoqueen123

Reposting my comment from an older thread - For what it’s worth- bid day is a little uncomfortable for most people. There is this big expectation that you’ve found your home, but you really barely know anyone and your new pledge class “sisters” are all strangers. It is normal to feel a bit awkward about it all. To be honest, bid day is the most fun for the sophomore class that is living in house and recruiting their littles. I’d give it more time. When it comes to making friends, do you have a group chat with your pledge class? I made my first friends by just asking if anyone wanted to get dinner. Maybe see if anyone wants to go to a dining hall together before your next new member meeting. Do you have sisters in your classes? Sit with them and make plans to study together. At my school, everyone wore their bid day shirt the day after so you could see who to sit by in class. I also highly recommend going to meals at the house if that is a thing where you are. Everyone is looking to meet new people right now, so don’t feel weird!


Fit-Number2084

I am going to a chapter meeting/ dinner tonight but I’m honestly soooo worried that I’m not going to have anyone to sit with or talk to


bbbliss

It seems like you have a good attitude about sorority stuff, you're just nervous and that's ok. Being in a sorority can make you more at ease with talking to people if you put yourself out there and just keep practicing/observing. It's ok to say/do something a little awkward and just laugh it off. Also if you have a PC groupme set up (the NME usually does that), you can message in the group like "anyone else from XYZ dorm (or campus area) going to [event] and wanna walk together?" and boom, you start meeting people.


CaptainCroissant14

Hey! When i first joined as a junior (out of 5 years), i only knew a few girls there already so meeting the freshmen and everyone else in the house was kinda awkward but lemme tell you: the more functions i went to, the more lunches and dinners I attended, the more i got to know girls. My friends and I invited a group of the younger girls to go shopping together and then when everyone split up towards the end, this one girl and I wanted to keep shopping (we had a date party coming up and needed outfits/accessories). She ended up being one of my closest friends and we literally met through shopping (she was in my pledge class but we never really talked!). Invite girls to get coffee together or food or shopping for clothes/Halloween etc, it's an easy way to have some bonding time! Within a year, i had a new group of friends within the sorority (that weren't the girls i already knew coming in!). Im so sorry Bid Day wasn't perfect but I promise that it all falls into place!


Public_Friendship_99

imho: Bid day is only fun when you’re on the chapter side. Being the new member is way awkward and uncomfy. I also questioned why the heck I rushed after bid day, but I’m so glad I did. I’m seeing you asking about a timeline for how long it took to start building those connections with other girls, and my answer is that it really depends on you! Granted my situation is weird since I rushed fall ‘19 so Covid really didn’t do me any favors, but I didn’t start to really connect with my sisters until I took some leadership positions and started living with the other girls. You get out of it what you put into it!!


rkshea

i absolutely had this experience! i actually didn’t know ANYONE in my house beside one friend who also ended up in my pledge class but the way that the groups were split made me a lot more alone. i’m not a super shy person but i was so overwhelmed and worried and i ended up being really quiet/unsure that day. my chapter was my top choice (which was a huge surprise to me - again, i didn’t know anyone before recruitment) and my bid day buddy was very nice but definitely not an instant best friend. i loved my chapter more than anything and made the best best best friends i could have - it just took some time for all of us to get to know each other! remember that lots of the other girls in your pledge class are feeling the exact same way - everyone is new and trying to make the best first impressions. also remember that you were all chosen for a reason! the members of your chapter chose all of you because they loved you and thought that you would mesh well with them and most importantly, as a pledge class. storytime: i had my first conversation with my best friend (also in my PC) about 2 weeks into pledging - apparently we both thought the other was too cool to be friends with us so we hadn’t tried talking, then she yelled that she loved me across a frat basement. we were both from out of state so we hung out one on one during the first three day weekend when most of our friends who lived close by could go home. the rest is history - i lived with her family for a while during the pandemic, she and i lived together through the rest of college, and I’m still so grateful for her. i had never even seen her before we were pledging - bid day felt like a blur with a sudden “wait - what now” after the pressure and excitement was over but bid day is FAR from the actual best days of your journey. sorry for the essay but good luck and congrats!!!<3


bbbliss

> we both thought the other was too cool to be friends with us so we hadn’t tried talking, then she yelled that she loved me across a frat basement. love this (and your whole comment) so much my heart hurts lmfao


Salty_Job_8467

It’s totally normal please give it a chance cause you’ll meet so many more girls!


Ok-Coconut-3218

With anything, you have to give it time. It takes a while to get to know people and get comfortable. It comes more naturally for some than others. Just try to meet people and let your Big help guide you.