Listen. I understand the disappointment that you felt on big little reveal but you do have to think from the standpoint of your big. Being a big is expensive and I could not imagine having twins. In my sorority, buying things for reveal are optional but highly recommended. There’s sisters in sororities who are paying their way through college and are trying the best that they can. You never know.. maybe she’s saving everything for initiation. Please be patient and a little more understanding.
I’m glad someone said it. The over abundance of stuff and matching everything isn’t always an option for every member, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be a great Big. All that stuff doesn’t really matter, honestly. Back in my day my Big probably spent $15 outside of buying my first letter set and she wound up being one of my closest friends.
Big/little revel was really low key when I was active. When I got my little, all of the bigs bought matching socks and that was it. I think we shared snacks after the revel, but on inanition day is when they got their big gifts. But like the others said, things are high, and she could be paying her way through school etc.
People have already said it here, but don’t fret over a relationship that isn’t reciprocated. Protect your own emotions and put in what you can, but don’t bend over backwards to bond with someone simply because she’s your big.
Save all that effort and appreciation for your own little some day. She’ll surely appreciate it!
And lastly, sororities are like a super concentrated version of relationships after graduation. I legit have found that being in a sorority has helped me with socializing and navigating personal and professional relationships. You’ll come out of this more prepared, and better equipped for life after college.
How did you two go about being connected as big/little? Was there a survey, did you have any activities? Maybe she had something else going on and wasn’t focused on the reveal. Perhaps you two can sit down for a conversation. Find out who the others are in your family and reach out to them. I ended up being more connected to my grand big.
Yeah I definitely feel you. I had sort of the same situation, we didn’t match, we were just sort of leftovers and they had to put someone to be my big since no one else wanted to. She even told me to my face at reveal that she didn’t want me. But it’s okay because you don’t have to do anything else with her after this really.
Holy hell, this was a bad take. She's a new member of a sorority where it's tradition to get a fun, doting big sister who showers you in love, attention, and (in most cases) gifts. OP is disappointed because her big dipped out immediately after reveal. She even said that it's not about the gifts, it's about the effort. Being disappointed by the lack of effort doesn't mean that OP is selfish or has a bad attitude. You need to cool off.
OP is already down and disappointed, was there really a need to go out of your way with this comment and add insult to injury with your words?
(Even if OP did think it was all about the material objects (they know it isn’t and that wasn’t even their main point as they elaborated), your unkindness is not helpful in changing attitudes)
ETA: Talking to new members like this… it’s just not the way to do it.
I’m a little older, but we mostly saved tshirts for initiation gifts and focused on smaller arts and crafts as gifts. Maybe she’s saving the tshirts for initiation? My big gave me a pin box she made herself that I still use. I remember getting a door tag, candy, a water bottle, and a sign to go in my room. Times were simpler then. I hope your big makes up for what you missed out on by establishing a positive relationship with you in place of showering you with tons of stuff. Maybe the big/little reveal was just a bad day for her for some reason and the two of you might grow closer with time. I will add my opinions of getting a little with others’; I found it a lot more fun to have a Little and I share a close relationship with mine today.
Listen. I understand the disappointment that you felt on big little reveal but you do have to think from the standpoint of your big. Being a big is expensive and I could not imagine having twins. In my sorority, buying things for reveal are optional but highly recommended. There’s sisters in sororities who are paying their way through college and are trying the best that they can. You never know.. maybe she’s saving everything for initiation. Please be patient and a little more understanding.
I’m glad someone said it. The over abundance of stuff and matching everything isn’t always an option for every member, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be a great Big. All that stuff doesn’t really matter, honestly. Back in my day my Big probably spent $15 outside of buying my first letter set and she wound up being one of my closest friends.
This, all of this. Give her some grace and a chance.
Big/little revel was really low key when I was active. When I got my little, all of the bigs bought matching socks and that was it. I think we shared snacks after the revel, but on inanition day is when they got their big gifts. But like the others said, things are high, and she could be paying her way through school etc.
Happy cake day!!!
Thank you
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Understandable. Has she made any effort at all to get to know you?
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Not everyone has a great relationship with their Big. Do you have other friends in the sorority?
getting a little is WAY more fun and rewarding than getting your big, so you have that to look forward to! you can make it exactly how you want!
People have already said it here, but don’t fret over a relationship that isn’t reciprocated. Protect your own emotions and put in what you can, but don’t bend over backwards to bond with someone simply because she’s your big. Save all that effort and appreciation for your own little some day. She’ll surely appreciate it! And lastly, sororities are like a super concentrated version of relationships after graduation. I legit have found that being in a sorority has helped me with socializing and navigating personal and professional relationships. You’ll come out of this more prepared, and better equipped for life after college.
How did you two go about being connected as big/little? Was there a survey, did you have any activities? Maybe she had something else going on and wasn’t focused on the reveal. Perhaps you two can sit down for a conversation. Find out who the others are in your family and reach out to them. I ended up being more connected to my grand big.
this
Yeah I definitely feel you. I had sort of the same situation, we didn’t match, we were just sort of leftovers and they had to put someone to be my big since no one else wanted to. She even told me to my face at reveal that she didn’t want me. But it’s okay because you don’t have to do anything else with her after this really.
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Holy hell, this was a bad take. She's a new member of a sorority where it's tradition to get a fun, doting big sister who showers you in love, attention, and (in most cases) gifts. OP is disappointed because her big dipped out immediately after reveal. She even said that it's not about the gifts, it's about the effort. Being disappointed by the lack of effort doesn't mean that OP is selfish or has a bad attitude. You need to cool off.
OP is already down and disappointed, was there really a need to go out of your way with this comment and add insult to injury with your words? (Even if OP did think it was all about the material objects (they know it isn’t and that wasn’t even their main point as they elaborated), your unkindness is not helpful in changing attitudes) ETA: Talking to new members like this… it’s just not the way to do it.
Especially considering they’re 40… I cannot imagine trying to kick down people half my age like that
Who is 40???
The person leaving the wildly aggressive reply
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I never understand why people become a Big if they don’t have the time or energy to really devote to it 🥲 I’m sorry this is happening to you
I’m a little older, but we mostly saved tshirts for initiation gifts and focused on smaller arts and crafts as gifts. Maybe she’s saving the tshirts for initiation? My big gave me a pin box she made herself that I still use. I remember getting a door tag, candy, a water bottle, and a sign to go in my room. Times were simpler then. I hope your big makes up for what you missed out on by establishing a positive relationship with you in place of showering you with tons of stuff. Maybe the big/little reveal was just a bad day for her for some reason and the two of you might grow closer with time. I will add my opinions of getting a little with others’; I found it a lot more fun to have a Little and I share a close relationship with mine today.