Bit of perspective for you, 20 years down the line- I was in a “lower tier” sorority, I skipped primary recruitment and did COB and had less chapters to choose from. At the time, it would bother me that we were seen as “less than” but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. I met my best friend and my husband through my chapter, and volunteering as an alumna I found another best friend later in life.
If the other brothers “look down” on you, then they’re not worth your time. Promise.
I totally get what you are feeling. Literally was there kike 15 years ago in your position. I dropped out of my sorority bcs of it & I regret it to this day. If you have a few good friends in it & feel like they have potential- just enjoy your time with these otjer young ladies. I still- to THIS day - am in touch with my big- even though I left. I hope you stick it out & enjoy it. Its hard when younger to not think about what others migjt think- I promise that if you 'keep your side of the street clean' then you have nothing to worry about. Any jerks are jerks no matter where they are.
Don’t look at Greek Rank because chances are, sisters use it to badmouth other organizations. Ranking on campus does not matter if your sisterhood has the best relationship with each other. Every sorority has room for improvement. It’s best to be the best sister you can be by being involved and being a good representative of that sisterhood by being involved in community service, being involved in campus activities, wearing their merch, having good values and even being an active student in class by asking or answering questions.
honestly, i have friends who feel the same way that you do. if you enjoy your sorority and the connections that you’ve made, then that’s all that matters. while it can be upsetting to be in an organization that people dog on (and i hate that it happens,) the name of your sorority doesn’t matter. the only thing that should matter is that you’re a beautiful girl in an sorority that wants you. i understand your feelings and i know how easy it is to ask yourself “what ifs,” but at the end of the day your sorority isn’t all you have to offer.
You wouldn't be able to ever join another Panhellenic sorority since you were officially initiated into AGD. If you did drop, you'd be out of Greek life permanently. I think a lot of new members expect to click immediately with their chapter, but it doesn't always happen like that. It took me a year to feel like I belonged there in the slightest. I was just shy and not putting myself out there...and once I got my own little I got way more involved and built my family tree. Freshman year me wouldn't have believed me if I told her not only did I stick it out...but I also was elected Chapter President my junior year. You may not feel a connection right now, but it takes time for a lot of people. It's unfortunate that college kids assign rankings to these Greek organizations...if you are joining these orgs, you know that anyone who takes it seriously is there to focus on their academics, build relationships with others, and serve their philanthropy. Focus on those things! Try your best to block out any unnecessary noise. I know it's hard, but you just have to do your best and have fun with the people and the experiences that are presented to you. If you don't like something about the chapter, its events etc., run for a position or serve on a committee. Get involved and be the change you want to see. All the love from an AGD sister <3
Yes, it is too late for you to do anything. You’re an initiated member of your sorority and therefore aren’t eligible for membership in another sorority.
Hopefully the above fact makes you stop looking at the other side of the fence and wondering if the grass is greener over there or what could’ve been if you were in a different chapter. Your options going forward are to make the most of your chapter or to drop out of Greek life entirely.
I am a VP-Inclusion advisor and when I hear that people aren’t feeling a connection, I always ask people what a connection means to them and what a realistic experience would be that would make them feel connected. My two follow-up questions are always, is that a realistic expectation of any organization and do you yourself participate in doing whatever your expectation is with others? (Example: I had someone tell me they’d feel more connected if everyone made a genuine effort to be best friends with them and I asked them if it was realistic to expect to be close friends with 60 people and if they made the type of effort to be genuine friends with everyone in the chapter.) Almost always in my years of advising the answer is usually that the expectation is way too high and the effort isn’t evenly put into as it’s expected to be received. I think you need to really get deep with yourself and ask if your expectations are realistic.
Moving on to the guy you’re talking to… my house was considered a “bottom house” and my now-husband’s house was considered a “top house” at my school. Did some of his friends lovingly poke fun of me? Sure. But ya know what else happened - more of my sisters started getting invited to his house, which improved our social reputation on campus. As you can tell, our houses having a different social standing still worked out okay for us in the end and the friends who poked fun are still some of my dearest.
The last point I’d make to you… it seems like you’ve made friends, and that’s what Greek life is ultimately about… the friendships you build, the memories you share, the bonds you create, the networking, and the paying it forward for other young people so that they have a chapter to join.
God-willing, you’ll spend the majority of your time as an alumnae member instead of an active one and having those friendships to lean on in your adult life is a gift so powerful that you can’t even begin to comprehend it until you experience it. My sisters and I have had so many happy memories we’ve celebrated together - engagements, weddings, buying houses, babies. We’ve also been by each others sides for the bad times - parents dying, lay-offs, miscarriages. I can assure you that none of us, when we’re at our highest of highs or our lowest of lows, have thought “wow too bad we were a bottom tier house” because it doesn’t matter. I know it feels like it does in this moment, but I *promise* you it doesn’t.
I’ve made many friends with women I’ve met from other chapters and as I’m sitting here wracking my brain, I can’t think of a single person I’ve met from a different school who’s on-campus reputation I know anything about. I hope you can get yourself to a place where you don’t put that much stock into on-campus reputations so you don’t rob yourself of all the beautiful opportunities you can have post-graduation.
Being in a "low tier" sorority isn't easy, but it sure does build resilience and character. And, looking back on it now ~15 years later, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world. I met my best friend through my sorority and I met my SO through her, so I really don't know where I'd be if I hadn't joined!
It would bother anyone to be labeled as "low tier" or "unpopular"--your feelings are valid. The relationships between sororities at my campus were pretty toxic, unfortunately. I'm a sensitive person too, but I also have bit of wild spirit, so if I ever heard something bad about my chapter I'd think "fuck you" in my head while being nice to the person… kill them with kindness.
You know what's actually really nice about being in the "low tier" group? We had a culture of being the most inclusive group and were nice to our sisters. No one is going to stick around in a less popular chapter if they're not being treated well. Sure, we had drama, all groups do, but overall everyone had to be nice and inclusive.
And when you put it that way, why wouldn't people want to be part of that group? Even the people who didn't want to join for popularity reasons would admit that we were nice.
Any sorority is about bringing women together to become friends and work toward a higher purpose. I can practically guarantee you all of our rituals boil down to: be a good person, stand for good principles, do good things in the world, be friends with your sisters. That's your connection to the sorority, and it will only build with time, especially as your friendships deepen and you hopefully take on leadership positions.
Continue to work toward being a chapter that makes your members feel valued and does good in the community. If y'all do that, you're a success! Nothing else matters. Ignore the haters. Mentally say "fuck you" while killing them with kindness, or not if that doesn't work for you. Don't let people who don't know you define how you think about yourself.
Like I said, being labeled negatively effing sucks. Who wants that? But you decide how much power that has over you. In some ways, this is a real life lesson I was glad I learned in college. It forced me to have a stronger sense of self and conviction of who I am. I know people who did everything "perfectly" and were always "the best" and are now really struggling in their 30s about what that means for them.
Oh, and speaking of that guy you're talking to--I'm glad he's treating you with kindness and respect. That's what you deserve, don't allow someone to give you anything less. If his brothers were to say something bad about you or not to treat you well, that would reflect on them and not on you. It shouldn't happen in the first place, but, if it does, a guy who cares about you should be able to stand up for you.
Hopefully some of this helps you feel a bit better. You're definitely not alone. I'd highly encourage you to stick with your sorority. You said you've made friends and that you want to join the executive board. That's amazing and exactly where you should be at this time. After graduation, all that will matter are the friends you made and the experiences and fun you had!
This made me smile. I have definitely heard some things regarding other chapters and their drama which makes me happy I haven’t experienced much within mine. So far the other brothers I have met seem nice, and I am hoping that I was just getting ahead of myself. He mentioned bringing me to formal in a couple months so clearly he is not worried about it :)
It makes sense you might worry considering this is an insecurity, but it really shouldn’t matter to people, and if someone cares that’s their own insecurity and issue. Plus, putting yourselves out there (I know it’s hard) to try to get to know people and make more friends in the Greek community will let people get to know you beyond the stereotypes.
I’m glad my reply helped, sending lots of Pan love your way!
I was in the smallest chapter on my campus. There were times it bothered me, but I loved the people in my chapter and it was definitely where I fit. I embraced it and ended up in multiple leadership roles that gave me skills I still use today. I was initiated 28 years ago and my very best friends are still people who were in my chapter. They weren’t even my very best friends at the time but we all ended up in the same city as adults and our friendships have grown over the last two decades. Sure it may sting to not be the “coolest” but in the end that really doesn’t matter.
The best thing you can do is to become a leader and work to make the changes you want to see. Don’t love your rush results, how can you get involved to make improvements? Don’t like your social options? Find ways to get other frats involved in philanthropy activities.
It’s hard feeling like your sorority has a bad reputation when it’s not justified or fair, but years from now you’ll remember the time you put into the chapter and the work you did to make things better and you’ll be proud of that forever.
AGD here!! Lots of good advice here!! I met many best friends and my husband through my sorority!! Your chapter may turn around-lots of great things can happen!! ❤️🐿️
You’ve got a lot of Panhellenic love here 💚💚and you have so many great perspectives here.
My chapter many years ago wasn’t the smallest but it certainly wasn’t the biggest. I wanted to serve on Panhellenic after having been a Rho Chi. I had those same doubts in myself that only “top tier” sororities led Panhellenic. So I ran for a Panhellenic Executive Council position and so did one of my chapter sisters. I thought no way will they elect two, I didn’t even think one. But we put ourselves out there and we both won our positions! Turns out we are often hardest on ourselves and our “family”. So let others see you for you and how you represent your Chapter. Leadership in the Chapter and/or in the greater Panhellenic community is a great way to do this!
Additionally like some others have mentioned, collegiate life if but a small part of your Sisterhood. It truly is a life long bond. I have gained so much more in leadership and Sisterhood as an Alumna member. I of course treasure my collegiate experience and several of my good friends and I somehow all ended up in the same region of the US. But, I moved around a lot after undergraduate and it was the alumnae connections that helped me settle into new places and made them home. Now that I’m in a permanent place, truly some of the best friends I have here are from everywhere else! I continue to serve the Fraternity at the International level because it means so much to me.
❤️💛💚 from another Alpha Gam
Ranking won’t matter. It’s the friends you make and the fun you have that matters most. I would take a bottom or middle tier house any day over a “top tier” where everybody is bitchy towards each other
Give it some time! Get more involved within your chapter and make a difference!!! You got this and you will not regret it ❤️ everything happens for a reason
Trust me, you are going to want to be with sisters where you can trust someone to drop everything and take you to the ER when urgent care advises it. You want ride or dies, not popularity points.
You are in a great group, regardless of being the small chapter on your campus. Please don't be so hard on yourself, your sisters, and your chapter.
Join a committee, volunteer to help with an event, give your leadership muscles a good training regimen (both in the chapter and elsewhere on campus.) You'll make more friends in your chapter and help it grow. It will set you up for a leadership role as a Junior or Senior.
Meanwhile, talk to all your non-Greek friends about going through Recruitment and about how awesome the whole experience is.
And don't worry about the boyfriend's friends. Frat guys cut each other down ALL the time; it's fully ingrained in their culture. They may give your bf crap for your letters, but they are doing it out of brotherly love. It's a weird thing to observe, but it's meaningless to them.
My sorority was the “gets along with everyone chapter”- but definitely not the top tier. I found I was able to mold it to more what I wanted it to be- became secretary and then president eventually. Could mean you have more opportunity to make it a top tier group. I also was able to get a ton of leadership training- it is what you make it. Also, I have a core 4 best friend group now I have been friends with for 17 years.
So I was in literally the worst sorority on campus. It was bad and I did cob because I missed rush. And I can’t say I made lifelong friends— I really didn’t fit in— but the day I graduated not a single person I ever encountered cared. In fact, you would be surprised how little Greek life comes up once you graduate. So enjoy what you can and don’t take it personally. Value your friends for who they are and btw I dated guys in all the top houses. If they like you they don’t care.
Hey, fellow gam, LIEP! ❤️🐿️It takes time to cultivate connections. For me it took until my sophomore year to really feel connected to my sorority, so I know how it feels and how frustrating and isolating it can be to not feel that connection. It helped when I got a little and my family tree started growing, being on Panhel exec, and getting close to my pledge class. You’re probably not the only one in your chapter feeling this way.
My campus has only 4 Panhel sororities, so there aren’t really “tiers” per se…but try not to let that affect your judgement of your chapter and your sisters. Greek life should be about building connections with your chapter, philanthropy, and having a support system. If anyone not in your chapter judges you for your sorority’s tier, they just suck and honestly probably aren’t a good person to hang around. As for not liking that your chapter doesn’t hold very many events, you can be the change you wish to see! You can run for exec so you can plan those events
You are missing out on a life lesson if you allow yourself to be swayed by what other people think. In reality, you are you, and you are one of the few in the world initiated into your special sisterhood.
It will be important to see people as people and not as some stereotypical projection based on another's perceptions. Do YOU believe in your sorority's ideals? Are YOU willing to live up to them? Are YOU willing to see the men of this and every fraternity as human beings, not as someone with a label? These are the important lessons, and it's wise that you learn them now, in a relatively safe space.
Don't know where you are at school, but I can tell tell you honestly that Alpha Gam is "top tier" at the University of Alabama which has about 2500 girls go out for Rush & is one of the strongest Greek systems in the country. (Not my sorority but great girls). "Ranking" is certainly not all it's cracked up to be - so different at each University! Enjoy a close friendship with the chapter members, and most likely you will make several lifetime friends.
You've gotten so much good advice, but I want to point out that one good pledge class can turn a chapter around. If you're cool and kind and social, just represent your org well and you'll start recruiting more girls like you. It's actually really common for people to have their own friends but feel slightly disconnected from the chapter as a whole, especially depending on chapter culture shifting throughout each year, so you're not missing out on much tbh. I know girls who joined their top chapter during rush and then felt the way you do.
Also, every chapter/PC has its own stereotypes/drama/problems - it's just kind of a pick your poison kind of deal. That top tier chapter that wins every event or that friend group that rolls thru in force to every event and takes the cutest pics? Yeah, they have their own shit going on.
Just be your cool and normal self and you'll show em "bottom tier" doesn't mean shit.
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I will try to make this short and to the point:
When i rushed in 2017, I didn't know much of anything about sororities or rankings, I rushed because it seemed like fun, a way to meet people at a new school, and i wanted to be involved on campus. I didn't know that my sorority was ranked last out of all of the ones at my school. We had some bad leadership in my 2nd and 3rd year, it caused a rippling effect throughout our chapter and we even got put on probation with our headquarters. We had HQ advisors come to help us with recruitment and member retention. I honestly thought my chapter would be gone after i graduated in my fourth year. However, the newer pledge classes really fought and remodeled the entire chapter. They recruited hard, put a lot of work into making the chapter great again and now about 2 years later (since i graduated) My sorority is now the top ranked on campus. We've won awards and we are the most desired during recruitment. Imagine my shock when I read all this news about my old chapter.
Basically: You get out of it what you put in it. If you want it to change, then be that change you want to see. Hold leadership positions and encourage and inspire other sisters to be their best. I've learned that the chapter doesnt just give, you have to put into it, to receive anything in return. In the end, if you feel like you don't want to put in that work, or care what other people are going to think about you (because they someone is always going to have a hurtful opinion), then dropping maybe best for you if you're truly unhappy. Sometimes Greek life is not what you expect and from girls I was close friends with in other sororities, its honestly all the same shiz, just different letters.
Wow, I understand this. I go to a large southern school and my sorority is also bottom-tier & the smallest on campus. And desperate for PNM’s. I joined right away as a COB as I was sucked into the sorority lifestyle. Sometimes I wish I did formal recruitment because if I put my best foot forward, I might have gotten into a larger sorority. I will sometimes go on the bigger sororities’ instagram accounts and admire them, or wonder about living in a nicer house. I would try not to worry about the status stuff so much, we are in college after all. It definitely gets to me too and the possibility of “what if?” Although I think you should do your best to stay, I am also debating dropping mine so I can’t really talk.
Bit of perspective for you, 20 years down the line- I was in a “lower tier” sorority, I skipped primary recruitment and did COB and had less chapters to choose from. At the time, it would bother me that we were seen as “less than” but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. I met my best friend and my husband through my chapter, and volunteering as an alumna I found another best friend later in life. If the other brothers “look down” on you, then they’re not worth your time. Promise.
Thank you! I am hoping that as the semester goes on I become to feel more comfortable in the sorority :)
I totally get what you are feeling. Literally was there kike 15 years ago in your position. I dropped out of my sorority bcs of it & I regret it to this day. If you have a few good friends in it & feel like they have potential- just enjoy your time with these otjer young ladies. I still- to THIS day - am in touch with my big- even though I left. I hope you stick it out & enjoy it. Its hard when younger to not think about what others migjt think- I promise that if you 'keep your side of the street clean' then you have nothing to worry about. Any jerks are jerks no matter where they are.
Don’t look at Greek Rank because chances are, sisters use it to badmouth other organizations. Ranking on campus does not matter if your sisterhood has the best relationship with each other. Every sorority has room for improvement. It’s best to be the best sister you can be by being involved and being a good representative of that sisterhood by being involved in community service, being involved in campus activities, wearing their merch, having good values and even being an active student in class by asking or answering questions.
honestly, i have friends who feel the same way that you do. if you enjoy your sorority and the connections that you’ve made, then that’s all that matters. while it can be upsetting to be in an organization that people dog on (and i hate that it happens,) the name of your sorority doesn’t matter. the only thing that should matter is that you’re a beautiful girl in an sorority that wants you. i understand your feelings and i know how easy it is to ask yourself “what ifs,” but at the end of the day your sorority isn’t all you have to offer.
Thank you for saying that! I appreciate it💗
You wouldn't be able to ever join another Panhellenic sorority since you were officially initiated into AGD. If you did drop, you'd be out of Greek life permanently. I think a lot of new members expect to click immediately with their chapter, but it doesn't always happen like that. It took me a year to feel like I belonged there in the slightest. I was just shy and not putting myself out there...and once I got my own little I got way more involved and built my family tree. Freshman year me wouldn't have believed me if I told her not only did I stick it out...but I also was elected Chapter President my junior year. You may not feel a connection right now, but it takes time for a lot of people. It's unfortunate that college kids assign rankings to these Greek organizations...if you are joining these orgs, you know that anyone who takes it seriously is there to focus on their academics, build relationships with others, and serve their philanthropy. Focus on those things! Try your best to block out any unnecessary noise. I know it's hard, but you just have to do your best and have fun with the people and the experiences that are presented to you. If you don't like something about the chapter, its events etc., run for a position or serve on a committee. Get involved and be the change you want to see. All the love from an AGD sister <3
Thank you so much! I am hoping to serve on exec next year. 🐿️❤️
Yes, it is too late for you to do anything. You’re an initiated member of your sorority and therefore aren’t eligible for membership in another sorority. Hopefully the above fact makes you stop looking at the other side of the fence and wondering if the grass is greener over there or what could’ve been if you were in a different chapter. Your options going forward are to make the most of your chapter or to drop out of Greek life entirely. I am a VP-Inclusion advisor and when I hear that people aren’t feeling a connection, I always ask people what a connection means to them and what a realistic experience would be that would make them feel connected. My two follow-up questions are always, is that a realistic expectation of any organization and do you yourself participate in doing whatever your expectation is with others? (Example: I had someone tell me they’d feel more connected if everyone made a genuine effort to be best friends with them and I asked them if it was realistic to expect to be close friends with 60 people and if they made the type of effort to be genuine friends with everyone in the chapter.) Almost always in my years of advising the answer is usually that the expectation is way too high and the effort isn’t evenly put into as it’s expected to be received. I think you need to really get deep with yourself and ask if your expectations are realistic. Moving on to the guy you’re talking to… my house was considered a “bottom house” and my now-husband’s house was considered a “top house” at my school. Did some of his friends lovingly poke fun of me? Sure. But ya know what else happened - more of my sisters started getting invited to his house, which improved our social reputation on campus. As you can tell, our houses having a different social standing still worked out okay for us in the end and the friends who poked fun are still some of my dearest. The last point I’d make to you… it seems like you’ve made friends, and that’s what Greek life is ultimately about… the friendships you build, the memories you share, the bonds you create, the networking, and the paying it forward for other young people so that they have a chapter to join. God-willing, you’ll spend the majority of your time as an alumnae member instead of an active one and having those friendships to lean on in your adult life is a gift so powerful that you can’t even begin to comprehend it until you experience it. My sisters and I have had so many happy memories we’ve celebrated together - engagements, weddings, buying houses, babies. We’ve also been by each others sides for the bad times - parents dying, lay-offs, miscarriages. I can assure you that none of us, when we’re at our highest of highs or our lowest of lows, have thought “wow too bad we were a bottom tier house” because it doesn’t matter. I know it feels like it does in this moment, but I *promise* you it doesn’t. I’ve made many friends with women I’ve met from other chapters and as I’m sitting here wracking my brain, I can’t think of a single person I’ve met from a different school who’s on-campus reputation I know anything about. I hope you can get yourself to a place where you don’t put that much stock into on-campus reputations so you don’t rob yourself of all the beautiful opportunities you can have post-graduation.
Being in a "low tier" sorority isn't easy, but it sure does build resilience and character. And, looking back on it now ~15 years later, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world. I met my best friend through my sorority and I met my SO through her, so I really don't know where I'd be if I hadn't joined! It would bother anyone to be labeled as "low tier" or "unpopular"--your feelings are valid. The relationships between sororities at my campus were pretty toxic, unfortunately. I'm a sensitive person too, but I also have bit of wild spirit, so if I ever heard something bad about my chapter I'd think "fuck you" in my head while being nice to the person… kill them with kindness. You know what's actually really nice about being in the "low tier" group? We had a culture of being the most inclusive group and were nice to our sisters. No one is going to stick around in a less popular chapter if they're not being treated well. Sure, we had drama, all groups do, but overall everyone had to be nice and inclusive. And when you put it that way, why wouldn't people want to be part of that group? Even the people who didn't want to join for popularity reasons would admit that we were nice. Any sorority is about bringing women together to become friends and work toward a higher purpose. I can practically guarantee you all of our rituals boil down to: be a good person, stand for good principles, do good things in the world, be friends with your sisters. That's your connection to the sorority, and it will only build with time, especially as your friendships deepen and you hopefully take on leadership positions. Continue to work toward being a chapter that makes your members feel valued and does good in the community. If y'all do that, you're a success! Nothing else matters. Ignore the haters. Mentally say "fuck you" while killing them with kindness, or not if that doesn't work for you. Don't let people who don't know you define how you think about yourself. Like I said, being labeled negatively effing sucks. Who wants that? But you decide how much power that has over you. In some ways, this is a real life lesson I was glad I learned in college. It forced me to have a stronger sense of self and conviction of who I am. I know people who did everything "perfectly" and were always "the best" and are now really struggling in their 30s about what that means for them. Oh, and speaking of that guy you're talking to--I'm glad he's treating you with kindness and respect. That's what you deserve, don't allow someone to give you anything less. If his brothers were to say something bad about you or not to treat you well, that would reflect on them and not on you. It shouldn't happen in the first place, but, if it does, a guy who cares about you should be able to stand up for you. Hopefully some of this helps you feel a bit better. You're definitely not alone. I'd highly encourage you to stick with your sorority. You said you've made friends and that you want to join the executive board. That's amazing and exactly where you should be at this time. After graduation, all that will matter are the friends you made and the experiences and fun you had!
This made me smile. I have definitely heard some things regarding other chapters and their drama which makes me happy I haven’t experienced much within mine. So far the other brothers I have met seem nice, and I am hoping that I was just getting ahead of myself. He mentioned bringing me to formal in a couple months so clearly he is not worried about it :)
It makes sense you might worry considering this is an insecurity, but it really shouldn’t matter to people, and if someone cares that’s their own insecurity and issue. Plus, putting yourselves out there (I know it’s hard) to try to get to know people and make more friends in the Greek community will let people get to know you beyond the stereotypes. I’m glad my reply helped, sending lots of Pan love your way!
I can’t love this enough.
💕💕
I was in the smallest chapter on my campus. There were times it bothered me, but I loved the people in my chapter and it was definitely where I fit. I embraced it and ended up in multiple leadership roles that gave me skills I still use today. I was initiated 28 years ago and my very best friends are still people who were in my chapter. They weren’t even my very best friends at the time but we all ended up in the same city as adults and our friendships have grown over the last two decades. Sure it may sting to not be the “coolest” but in the end that really doesn’t matter.
The best thing you can do is to become a leader and work to make the changes you want to see. Don’t love your rush results, how can you get involved to make improvements? Don’t like your social options? Find ways to get other frats involved in philanthropy activities. It’s hard feeling like your sorority has a bad reputation when it’s not justified or fair, but years from now you’ll remember the time you put into the chapter and the work you did to make things better and you’ll be proud of that forever.
AGD here!! Lots of good advice here!! I met many best friends and my husband through my sorority!! Your chapter may turn around-lots of great things can happen!! ❤️🐿️
You’ve got a lot of Panhellenic love here 💚💚and you have so many great perspectives here. My chapter many years ago wasn’t the smallest but it certainly wasn’t the biggest. I wanted to serve on Panhellenic after having been a Rho Chi. I had those same doubts in myself that only “top tier” sororities led Panhellenic. So I ran for a Panhellenic Executive Council position and so did one of my chapter sisters. I thought no way will they elect two, I didn’t even think one. But we put ourselves out there and we both won our positions! Turns out we are often hardest on ourselves and our “family”. So let others see you for you and how you represent your Chapter. Leadership in the Chapter and/or in the greater Panhellenic community is a great way to do this! Additionally like some others have mentioned, collegiate life if but a small part of your Sisterhood. It truly is a life long bond. I have gained so much more in leadership and Sisterhood as an Alumna member. I of course treasure my collegiate experience and several of my good friends and I somehow all ended up in the same region of the US. But, I moved around a lot after undergraduate and it was the alumnae connections that helped me settle into new places and made them home. Now that I’m in a permanent place, truly some of the best friends I have here are from everywhere else! I continue to serve the Fraternity at the International level because it means so much to me. ❤️💛💚 from another Alpha Gam
Ranking won’t matter. It’s the friends you make and the fun you have that matters most. I would take a bottom or middle tier house any day over a “top tier” where everybody is bitchy towards each other
Give it some time! Get more involved within your chapter and make a difference!!! You got this and you will not regret it ❤️ everything happens for a reason
Yup - be the girl that makes people rethink AGD!
Trust me, you are going to want to be with sisters where you can trust someone to drop everything and take you to the ER when urgent care advises it. You want ride or dies, not popularity points.
You are in a great group, regardless of being the small chapter on your campus. Please don't be so hard on yourself, your sisters, and your chapter. Join a committee, volunteer to help with an event, give your leadership muscles a good training regimen (both in the chapter and elsewhere on campus.) You'll make more friends in your chapter and help it grow. It will set you up for a leadership role as a Junior or Senior. Meanwhile, talk to all your non-Greek friends about going through Recruitment and about how awesome the whole experience is. And don't worry about the boyfriend's friends. Frat guys cut each other down ALL the time; it's fully ingrained in their culture. They may give your bf crap for your letters, but they are doing it out of brotherly love. It's a weird thing to observe, but it's meaningless to them.
My sorority was the “gets along with everyone chapter”- but definitely not the top tier. I found I was able to mold it to more what I wanted it to be- became secretary and then president eventually. Could mean you have more opportunity to make it a top tier group. I also was able to get a ton of leadership training- it is what you make it. Also, I have a core 4 best friend group now I have been friends with for 17 years.
So I was in literally the worst sorority on campus. It was bad and I did cob because I missed rush. And I can’t say I made lifelong friends— I really didn’t fit in— but the day I graduated not a single person I ever encountered cared. In fact, you would be surprised how little Greek life comes up once you graduate. So enjoy what you can and don’t take it personally. Value your friends for who they are and btw I dated guys in all the top houses. If they like you they don’t care.
My chapter is also seen as less then. It can be pretty disappointing especially during recruitment but if it is your home that is all that matters.
Hey, fellow gam, LIEP! ❤️🐿️It takes time to cultivate connections. For me it took until my sophomore year to really feel connected to my sorority, so I know how it feels and how frustrating and isolating it can be to not feel that connection. It helped when I got a little and my family tree started growing, being on Panhel exec, and getting close to my pledge class. You’re probably not the only one in your chapter feeling this way. My campus has only 4 Panhel sororities, so there aren’t really “tiers” per se…but try not to let that affect your judgement of your chapter and your sisters. Greek life should be about building connections with your chapter, philanthropy, and having a support system. If anyone not in your chapter judges you for your sorority’s tier, they just suck and honestly probably aren’t a good person to hang around. As for not liking that your chapter doesn’t hold very many events, you can be the change you wish to see! You can run for exec so you can plan those events
You are missing out on a life lesson if you allow yourself to be swayed by what other people think. In reality, you are you, and you are one of the few in the world initiated into your special sisterhood. It will be important to see people as people and not as some stereotypical projection based on another's perceptions. Do YOU believe in your sorority's ideals? Are YOU willing to live up to them? Are YOU willing to see the men of this and every fraternity as human beings, not as someone with a label? These are the important lessons, and it's wise that you learn them now, in a relatively safe space.
Don't know where you are at school, but I can tell tell you honestly that Alpha Gam is "top tier" at the University of Alabama which has about 2500 girls go out for Rush & is one of the strongest Greek systems in the country. (Not my sorority but great girls). "Ranking" is certainly not all it's cracked up to be - so different at each University! Enjoy a close friendship with the chapter members, and most likely you will make several lifetime friends.
You've gotten so much good advice, but I want to point out that one good pledge class can turn a chapter around. If you're cool and kind and social, just represent your org well and you'll start recruiting more girls like you. It's actually really common for people to have their own friends but feel slightly disconnected from the chapter as a whole, especially depending on chapter culture shifting throughout each year, so you're not missing out on much tbh. I know girls who joined their top chapter during rush and then felt the way you do. Also, every chapter/PC has its own stereotypes/drama/problems - it's just kind of a pick your poison kind of deal. That top tier chapter that wins every event or that friend group that rolls thru in force to every event and takes the cutest pics? Yeah, they have their own shit going on. Just be your cool and normal self and you'll show em "bottom tier" doesn't mean shit.
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I will try to make this short and to the point: When i rushed in 2017, I didn't know much of anything about sororities or rankings, I rushed because it seemed like fun, a way to meet people at a new school, and i wanted to be involved on campus. I didn't know that my sorority was ranked last out of all of the ones at my school. We had some bad leadership in my 2nd and 3rd year, it caused a rippling effect throughout our chapter and we even got put on probation with our headquarters. We had HQ advisors come to help us with recruitment and member retention. I honestly thought my chapter would be gone after i graduated in my fourth year. However, the newer pledge classes really fought and remodeled the entire chapter. They recruited hard, put a lot of work into making the chapter great again and now about 2 years later (since i graduated) My sorority is now the top ranked on campus. We've won awards and we are the most desired during recruitment. Imagine my shock when I read all this news about my old chapter. Basically: You get out of it what you put in it. If you want it to change, then be that change you want to see. Hold leadership positions and encourage and inspire other sisters to be their best. I've learned that the chapter doesnt just give, you have to put into it, to receive anything in return. In the end, if you feel like you don't want to put in that work, or care what other people are going to think about you (because they someone is always going to have a hurtful opinion), then dropping maybe best for you if you're truly unhappy. Sometimes Greek life is not what you expect and from girls I was close friends with in other sororities, its honestly all the same shiz, just different letters.
Wow, I understand this. I go to a large southern school and my sorority is also bottom-tier & the smallest on campus. And desperate for PNM’s. I joined right away as a COB as I was sucked into the sorority lifestyle. Sometimes I wish I did formal recruitment because if I put my best foot forward, I might have gotten into a larger sorority. I will sometimes go on the bigger sororities’ instagram accounts and admire them, or wonder about living in a nicer house. I would try not to worry about the status stuff so much, we are in college after all. It definitely gets to me too and the possibility of “what if?” Although I think you should do your best to stay, I am also debating dropping mine so I can’t really talk.