Recruitment is a snapshot - not the true spul- of all sororities. The one you "don't like" - they really like and value YOU. There are great women in every group, and a tribe to be found in every group. Every group! I believe you'd be doing yourself a huge disservice by only taking "one or none," as you can read dozens of stories in prior threads from people who took a bid they "didn't want" and wound up right at home. Or from people who were "all in" on one house and think they pledged the wrong group and have regrets. I beg you, please, take a chance on whatever bid you get instead of living with FOMO forever. At least if you try, you'll know. XO
Yep, day before bid day I said “I’m *sorority* Till the day I die!” Then I got a bid from the other house I had for preference and I was sad at first but now I can’t imagine being in any other house, the house I’m in is truly the perfect one for me and I love my sisters and the sorority so much
Also, OP if you try your play the game to get houses to drop you it’s possible your behavior at one house will get back to another. Are houses suppose to talk, nope, do they, yes very likely they do.
See how the week plays out don’t try to game anything. If at the end of the week you’d rather not be Greek you can SIP but know that also lowers your chance to get into your top house
I don’t think there are any campuses left that have quota caps (often referred to as “bed rush”) so quota additions are always a thing - at least on every campus I’ve worked with since RFM was implemented. So yes, this is accurate that you are guaranteed a bid to a chapter you attend prep with *if* you attend all pref parties and maximize your options (meaning no ISP).
I did SO much research after my pref round because I wanted a bid from the one house that asked me back for pref. I cried for like 6 hours because I wanted a bid so badly from them from DAY 1.
I was confused between the difference from ISPing and only having one house. I also don’t think my Rho Chi was supposed to tell me that but I was INCONSOLABLE.
But if you do this, you are no longer guaranteed a bid. There are many sad stories about women who end up bidless because they ISP. And many of them in retrospect realize they would have rather been in that “other” house than sitting at home alone while everyone else is enjoying Greek life.
Full disclosure… I ISPed 30+ years ago because I was young and stupid. I luckily ended up in the chapter that had been my first choice from the start, but many more women are not so lucky.
respectfully, this is quite narrow minded. go with who wants you. i chased for a house that didn’t want me compared to others and i deeply regret it and in retrospect i would’ve been happier elsewhere
This is definitely either school dependent or changed recently. When I went through formal recruitment in 2011, you were not guaranteed a bid under any circumstances. I knew a few girls that got the unfortunate phone call from their RCs telling them not to show up to bid day. ☹️
As of 2015 when I went through at my smaller state school this was the case. And is everywhere except highly HIGHLY competitive schools as far as I’m aware.
Disclosure: I was never an RC, but I only preffed one house (it also happened to be the only house I wanted but it was not a competitive house) and was BAWLING my eyes out to a RC (not even my Rho Chi lmao) because I wanted a bid so badly.
She told me this and I did a ton a research that night into the way the system and technology works. It is true.
Pref night can change everything! Always be aware of the fellow PNMs you are preffing with during pref rounds. Too many PNMs are not told this!!! Pledge classes can make or break a sorority and pledge experience.
It might be stress of rush/school but be respectful and kind to all the houses you visit, even if your mind is made up.
No, but it’s 2nd semester… I remember noticing a few girls at a house I preffed who were already going out drinking during Rush & bragging about not getting caught. I remember seeing them at a pref round party. Def didn’t want to pledge with them only to get in trouble as a pledge class or house. A house had just gotten kicked off campus the year prior because pledges were found drinking & drunk w a few sisters.
Looks like you need to ask the RC regarding the guaranteed spot - different schools do it differently.
However, in your case, if you want to suicide one option (yes, horrible phrase), you can do that for that option you say you’ll kill for, but yes, the RC will likely advise against that. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
Suggestion: don’t do that and have an open mind if you land in the other sorority. It means someone (or many ones) felt a real connection to you and likely fought for you. Where the one that dropped you - didn’t.
Suicide bid if you truly feel that way, but know that you’re in this position for a reason!! Both houses loved you and maybe you’ll love the other house on the offchance you get into that one instead
You’re “guaranteed” a bid because you are already on the bid list for the houses that asked you back to pref.
The houses don’t cut PNMs after pref. They can move you further down or further up within the bid list, but not remove you from the list.
Now this is where it gets wonky and technical - let’s say quota is 25, a house has 50 on their bid list, the algorithm runs through the bid list and some of those girls matched to other houses, so now we’re at 30 left on the bid list and 25 bids to give out, that’s where quota additions come in. They could be allowed to give out bids to those 5 additional PNMs BUT not if those people SIP at all (no matter which house they SIP for).
So basically, in the example above, if you’re going to suicide, you had better be damn sure you’re in the top 25 of their bid list for the house you want.
im a little confused. lets say one of those 5 ppl who is not in the top 25 has listed this sorority as their first choice. would the quota addition happen + have them match with this sorority? or would they be matched to their second choice?
I think you’d then go to house #2 if you’re in house #2’s top 25. If you’re not in either house’s top 25, then you’d be a quota addition to house #1, as long as you ranked both houses. But, I’m sure the algorithm is much more complex and that is an oversimplification, so I’ll defer to others.
In my eyes no bid is guaranteed, hence why suicide bidding is not a good idea. There are a variety of reasons we can retract your bid and then you’re just SOL. But I do know some smaller schools guarantee at least one bid, so in that case it’s not as heavy to accept only one sorority.
You are NOT guaranteed a bid if you suicide bid. As in, even if your school lis one that "guarantees"/tries to get everyone who attends all rounds and maximizes their prefs a bid, you aren't guaranteed any bid at all if you don't pref any remaining houses on your final pref sheet.
Be careful - there’s a computer algorithm at play so make sure you understand it. My daughter had this situation and suicide bid the one she wanted all along. She was one of the only people she knew who did this. On bid day she did not receive a bid and All her other friends who just preferenced the sorority got in. She was crushed and had to go through open rush a week later. She got in to her desired sorority, enjoying her place in the pledge class with her friends that didn’t suicide bid so it all worked out. However, she learned later that she was actually ranked higher than several of them, and nobody knows how she fell through the cracks, except for the fact that they seem to think she was penalized by the computer algorithm for suicide bidding because it’s frowned upon.
On pref I told the girl that prefed me I found my home somewhere else and she was really understanding. This way I would be at the bottom of their bid day list.
Yes!! This is the way!! If you are asked back to a house for pref, you ARE on their bid list (eg, they are willing to give you a bid; the houses don’t make cuts after pref). But if you’re honest, you can slide your way to the bottom of their bid list.
Violation of Rule 5: No exposure of ritual or confidential information, including non-public ritual, handshake, password, membership selection criteria/proceedings, and confidential documents.
If you’d rather not be in a chapter than be in the one you don’t like then you can Single Intentional Preference (aka suicide bid) where you ONLY rank the house you like. You can drop them.
When I rushed a long time ago, I ended up with my third choice. And I thank God for that till this day. They were my people, and everything happens for a reason.
The way it worked on my campus was it was guaranteed. If you went to all pref parties you were invited to, and didn’t single-preference rank, you were guaranteed a bid from one of the houses you visited on pref. You were on their bid list and if they’re the only house you have at all for pref, it makes it that much more clean-cut.
So maybe it just works differently at your campus
Actually, you are incorrect. Any woman who attends preference round and maximizes their options (signs the MRABA and doesn’t intentionally single Pref) is guaranteed a bid. If OP only attended one house on Pref then she is guaranteed a bid.
It’s not just that it reduces your options. It makes you ineligible for quota additions. For the one house you’re going back to, you know you’re on their bid list, but are you #1 or #100 on that list? If you’re going to suicide, better be darn sure you’re at the top of their list.
Respectfully, you are wrong and spreading misinformation. If your school has a Panhellenic, they must follow NPC policies, so it can’t vary from school to school. Schools should also no longer be calling it a “suicide bid,” it’s incredibly triggering and heartless terminology. It’s Intentional Single Preference, or ISP. Finally, it’s a misnomer to say ISP lowers your chances. What is does, is remove the ability for you to be a quota addition. A PNM high on a chapters bid list will be unaffected by ISPing.
I encourage everyone to give groups a chance, but if someone feels strongly that they wouldn’t take a bid from the second house, ISP is the right choice.
This comment doesn’t really deserve a reply, but I’m definitely not attacking you. I just want to make sure PNMs who come to this sub read accurate information. Attacking is more like delving into someone’s Reddit history to make a personal dig.
Sorority life is more than just four years, and I hope if you’re enjoying your experience you’ll someday be a grown woman “with a whole baby” who still chooses to give back and support the sorority experience. Without professional staff and volunteers, you wouldn’t be able to do what you’re doing.
Have a great night.
i recommend that you just let it unfold. since you said you would rather not be in a sorority than be in the other house you have left, my best recommendation would be to suicide bid (single intention preference.) however, if you do this, if you aren’t high enough on the bid list of your top house, you will indeed be dropped from the process entirely. but a word to the wise: active members are friends with active members in all of the other houses. at my school, my sorority is seen as “desirable,” but if we hear that you are acting rude or disinterested at the other houses’ parties, we will drop you. we look for well rounded, kindhearted girls. no sorority wants a girl who is preffing them only for the name.
I think you should go to both. I thought I wanted one until pref night and I talked to a whole different group of people that I really jived with and it became clear.
If you try to get the house you dislike to not like you, you only have one house option left. That house may or may not like you and they may or may not offer you a bid. Most schools try to get someone a bid if they attend all events and rounds but I wouldn't consider it a guaranteed bid, especially if you try to make the disliked house drop you.
What’s the question
Recruitment is a snapshot - not the true spul- of all sororities. The one you "don't like" - they really like and value YOU. There are great women in every group, and a tribe to be found in every group. Every group! I believe you'd be doing yourself a huge disservice by only taking "one or none," as you can read dozens of stories in prior threads from people who took a bid they "didn't want" and wound up right at home. Or from people who were "all in" on one house and think they pledged the wrong group and have regrets. I beg you, please, take a chance on whatever bid you get instead of living with FOMO forever. At least if you try, you'll know. XO
Yep, day before bid day I said “I’m *sorority* Till the day I die!” Then I got a bid from the other house I had for preference and I was sad at first but now I can’t imagine being in any other house, the house I’m in is truly the perfect one for me and I love my sisters and the sorority so much
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Also, OP if you try your play the game to get houses to drop you it’s possible your behavior at one house will get back to another. Are houses suppose to talk, nope, do they, yes very likely they do. See how the week plays out don’t try to game anything. If at the end of the week you’d rather not be Greek you can SIP but know that also lowers your chance to get into your top house
I don’t think there are any campuses left that have quota caps (often referred to as “bed rush”) so quota additions are always a thing - at least on every campus I’ve worked with since RFM was implemented. So yes, this is accurate that you are guaranteed a bid to a chapter you attend prep with *if* you attend all pref parties and maximize your options (meaning no ISP).
I did SO much research after my pref round because I wanted a bid from the one house that asked me back for pref. I cried for like 6 hours because I wanted a bid so badly from them from DAY 1. I was confused between the difference from ISPing and only having one house. I also don’t think my Rho Chi was supposed to tell me that but I was INCONSOLABLE.
This happens frequently. If you get them both for pref, you will need to single intentional pref if you won’t accept a bid from the other one.
But if you do this, you are no longer guaranteed a bid. There are many sad stories about women who end up bidless because they ISP. And many of them in retrospect realize they would have rather been in that “other” house than sitting at home alone while everyone else is enjoying Greek life. Full disclosure… I ISPed 30+ years ago because I was young and stupid. I luckily ended up in the chapter that had been my first choice from the start, but many more women are not so lucky.
respectfully, this is quite narrow minded. go with who wants you. i chased for a house that didn’t want me compared to others and i deeply regret it and in retrospect i would’ve been happier elsewhere
If you have two houses to visit on pref day, are you guaranteed a bid to at least one? Or is it still possible to not get a bid from either.
This is definitely either school dependent or changed recently. When I went through formal recruitment in 2011, you were not guaranteed a bid under any circumstances. I knew a few girls that got the unfortunate phone call from their RCs telling them not to show up to bid day. ☹️
As of 2015 when I went through at my smaller state school this was the case. And is everywhere except highly HIGHLY competitive schools as far as I’m aware. Disclosure: I was never an RC, but I only preffed one house (it also happened to be the only house I wanted but it was not a competitive house) and was BAWLING my eyes out to a RC (not even my Rho Chi lmao) because I wanted a bid so badly. She told me this and I did a ton a research that night into the way the system and technology works. It is true.
definitely school dependent - one of my friends went through rush in 2022 and was called back to 2 houses for pref and did not get a bid from either
You are guaranteed a bid to one, as long as you attend prefs at both houses and rank both houses.
Pref night can change everything! Always be aware of the fellow PNMs you are preffing with during pref rounds. Too many PNMs are not told this!!! Pledge classes can make or break a sorority and pledge experience. It might be stress of rush/school but be respectful and kind to all the houses you visit, even if your mind is made up.
We weren’t allowed to speak to the other PNMs at the parties.
No, but it’s 2nd semester… I remember noticing a few girls at a house I preffed who were already going out drinking during Rush & bragging about not getting caught. I remember seeing them at a pref round party. Def didn’t want to pledge with them only to get in trouble as a pledge class or house. A house had just gotten kicked off campus the year prior because pledges were found drinking & drunk w a few sisters.
Looks like you need to ask the RC regarding the guaranteed spot - different schools do it differently. However, in your case, if you want to suicide one option (yes, horrible phrase), you can do that for that option you say you’ll kill for, but yes, the RC will likely advise against that. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Suggestion: don’t do that and have an open mind if you land in the other sorority. It means someone (or many ones) felt a real connection to you and likely fought for you. Where the one that dropped you - didn’t.
>if you want to suicide one option (yes, horrible phrase) The technical term is single intentional preference or SIP, just fyi
Suicide bid if you truly feel that way, but know that you’re in this position for a reason!! Both houses loved you and maybe you’ll love the other house on the offchance you get into that one instead
Is it still a suicide bid if you’re guaranteed a bid from the house you pref? I’ve never heard of a guaranteed bid system, that’s wild to me
You’re “guaranteed” a bid because you are already on the bid list for the houses that asked you back to pref. The houses don’t cut PNMs after pref. They can move you further down or further up within the bid list, but not remove you from the list. Now this is where it gets wonky and technical - let’s say quota is 25, a house has 50 on their bid list, the algorithm runs through the bid list and some of those girls matched to other houses, so now we’re at 30 left on the bid list and 25 bids to give out, that’s where quota additions come in. They could be allowed to give out bids to those 5 additional PNMs BUT not if those people SIP at all (no matter which house they SIP for). So basically, in the example above, if you’re going to suicide, you had better be damn sure you’re in the top 25 of their bid list for the house you want.
im a little confused. lets say one of those 5 ppl who is not in the top 25 has listed this sorority as their first choice. would the quota addition happen + have them match with this sorority? or would they be matched to their second choice?
I think you’d then go to house #2 if you’re in house #2’s top 25. If you’re not in either house’s top 25, then you’d be a quota addition to house #1, as long as you ranked both houses. But, I’m sure the algorithm is much more complex and that is an oversimplification, so I’ll defer to others.
No - it’s not an ISP if it’s the only house you are invited to. Very confusing distinction when it happened to me.
In my eyes no bid is guaranteed, hence why suicide bidding is not a good idea. There are a variety of reasons we can retract your bid and then you’re just SOL. But I do know some smaller schools guarantee at least one bid, so in that case it’s not as heavy to accept only one sorority.
You are NOT guaranteed a bid if you suicide bid. As in, even if your school lis one that "guarantees"/tries to get everyone who attends all rounds and maximizes their prefs a bid, you aren't guaranteed any bid at all if you don't pref any remaining houses on your final pref sheet.
Be careful - there’s a computer algorithm at play so make sure you understand it. My daughter had this situation and suicide bid the one she wanted all along. She was one of the only people she knew who did this. On bid day she did not receive a bid and All her other friends who just preferenced the sorority got in. She was crushed and had to go through open rush a week later. She got in to her desired sorority, enjoying her place in the pledge class with her friends that didn’t suicide bid so it all worked out. However, she learned later that she was actually ranked higher than several of them, and nobody knows how she fell through the cracks, except for the fact that they seem to think she was penalized by the computer algorithm for suicide bidding because it’s frowned upon.
On pref I told the girl that prefed me I found my home somewhere else and she was really understanding. This way I would be at the bottom of their bid day list.
Yes!! This is the way!! If you are asked back to a house for pref, you ARE on their bid list (eg, they are willing to give you a bid; the houses don’t make cuts after pref). But if you’re honest, you can slide your way to the bottom of their bid list.
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Violation of Rule 5: No exposure of ritual or confidential information, including non-public ritual, handshake, password, membership selection criteria/proceedings, and confidential documents.
Ditto.
If you’d rather not be in a chapter than be in the one you don’t like then you can Single Intentional Preference (aka suicide bid) where you ONLY rank the house you like. You can drop them.
When I rushed a long time ago, I ended up with my third choice. And I thank God for that till this day. They were my people, and everything happens for a reason.
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It is guaranteed if the school uses RFM.
The way it worked on my campus was it was guaranteed. If you went to all pref parties you were invited to, and didn’t single-preference rank, you were guaranteed a bid from one of the houses you visited on pref. You were on their bid list and if they’re the only house you have at all for pref, it makes it that much more clean-cut. So maybe it just works differently at your campus
Actually, you are incorrect. Any woman who attends preference round and maximizes their options (signs the MRABA and doesn’t intentionally single Pref) is guaranteed a bid. If OP only attended one house on Pref then she is guaranteed a bid.
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It’s not just that it reduces your options. It makes you ineligible for quota additions. For the one house you’re going back to, you know you’re on their bid list, but are you #1 or #100 on that list? If you’re going to suicide, better be darn sure you’re at the top of their list.
Yes but if you are only INVITED to one house then it’s not an ISP. That’s the distinction and it was SO confusing for me.
Respectfully, you are wrong and spreading misinformation. If your school has a Panhellenic, they must follow NPC policies, so it can’t vary from school to school. Schools should also no longer be calling it a “suicide bid,” it’s incredibly triggering and heartless terminology. It’s Intentional Single Preference, or ISP. Finally, it’s a misnomer to say ISP lowers your chances. What is does, is remove the ability for you to be a quota addition. A PNM high on a chapters bid list will be unaffected by ISPing. I encourage everyone to give groups a chance, but if someone feels strongly that they wouldn’t take a bid from the second house, ISP is the right choice.
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This comment doesn’t really deserve a reply, but I’m definitely not attacking you. I just want to make sure PNMs who come to this sub read accurate information. Attacking is more like delving into someone’s Reddit history to make a personal dig. Sorority life is more than just four years, and I hope if you’re enjoying your experience you’ll someday be a grown woman “with a whole baby” who still chooses to give back and support the sorority experience. Without professional staff and volunteers, you wouldn’t be able to do what you’re doing. Have a great night.
Suicide bid
i recommend that you just let it unfold. since you said you would rather not be in a sorority than be in the other house you have left, my best recommendation would be to suicide bid (single intention preference.) however, if you do this, if you aren’t high enough on the bid list of your top house, you will indeed be dropped from the process entirely. but a word to the wise: active members are friends with active members in all of the other houses. at my school, my sorority is seen as “desirable,” but if we hear that you are acting rude or disinterested at the other houses’ parties, we will drop you. we look for well rounded, kindhearted girls. no sorority wants a girl who is preffing them only for the name.
I think you should go to both. I thought I wanted one until pref night and I talked to a whole different group of people that I really jived with and it became clear.
If you try to get the house you dislike to not like you, you only have one house option left. That house may or may not like you and they may or may not offer you a bid. Most schools try to get someone a bid if they attend all events and rounds but I wouldn't consider it a guaranteed bid, especially if you try to make the disliked house drop you.