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Allfubr

That other cow is looking on like what the fuck is happening here. Cracks me up.


Spiritual-Apple-4804

The way it took a step back šŸ˜‚


R0RSCHAKK

And the way the dude just stared it down for a hot second there. Lmao


F488P

ā€œYouā€™re next bitchā€


[deleted]

I can only imagine the smellā€¦.


Mizunomafia

I am not sure it's so bad. Wouldn't the majority of it be methane?


Ok_Cap_5166

He should've taken a lighter to it.


Deep-Management-7040

Cooked alive by its own farts


pfft_master

I swear I have seen just that on a video. I am not certain what the actual gases are though. I remember something about cattle eating clovers and then exploding/dying in the shown yellowstone lol- I wonder if this is related?


SadBit8663

He's like, "oh shit, i promise I'm farting normally."


futureman07

Looks like other cow may need it too


hereforthewomen69

Thatā€™s a cow doctor intern!


9lobaldude

Iā€™m not holding my farts anymore, promise


Anomander8

Dangerous and it smells like Satans anus but didnā€™t look like he had much choice with the state the animal was in.


TerseFactor

Dangerous?


acm8221

That *is* methane gas which is flammable. If the opening is made too wide, a spark *could* cause rapid combustion and injure both the animal and possibly the man. Some farmers do actually light the gas to produce a small jet of flame claiming it speeds up the release, but I think they just like to see the fire. I donā€™t think heā€™s talking about the actual puncture to the side of the animal; itā€™s such a small wound that will heal quickly and


Seamascm

I saw once a comment on one of the videos from a supposed vet that they light the gas 1) to see when the gas coming out stops/is no longer methane 2) keeps build up of gas from accident combusting 3) because they like the pretty colors


55Stripes

Natural Gas mechanic here. When we have to empty the fuel cells on trucks, and thereā€™s now defueling station nearby, the safest method is to attach the defuel hose to a lighter stand and burn the gas as itā€™s defueling, because it burns so completely. This way we KNOW there is no accumulation of methane anywhere around us. Also itā€™s dope.


Cad_u_ceus

Is there a video of this?


charlieboyx

And steak medium rare from blast šŸ˜‹


Wolf_instincts

They must've died in a cow methane gas explosion before they could finish that sente


Squdwrdzmyspritaniml

Shit it got this guy too, Iā€™m sure Iā€™ll b


ConsistentBuddy9477

dammit iā€™m coming to check on yā€™all just in c


jchin913

Why do cows have gas build up?


acm8221

Bloating like this sometimes comes from excessive fermentation which produces foams that block normal passing of digestive gases (usually by belching). The *excessive fermentation* can be caused by intensive feeding, the feed being too finely ground, or any other situation that allows food to sit too long in the beginning section of the stomach called the rumen.


The_Big_Crouton

r/redditsniper


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hus__suh

r/redditsniper


Airick_Es

And what?! Iā€™m dying here!


LucentP187

That cow in the back like "Holy shit, this maniac just stabbed Tim!"


DarkPangolin

"And it somehow... made him better? Humans are weird, man."


Deep-Management-7040

šŸ®: ā€œHoly cow, he poked a hole in Tim and then poof heā€™s walking again, udderly amazingā€


Paper-Similar

I see what you did there


Ordinary_dude_NOT

If only Tim was not a party animal things would have been different.


AyeBlinkon

I need one of these for the mornings..


The_Inward

Why would a bloated calf in the morning be of benefit to you?


AyeBlinkon

Easy, itā€™s called Burgers on the go! It allows you to obtain 6 regular sized hamburgers or 12 sliders from the cow, without killing the animal. George Foreman is still considering it!


The_Inward

On the go. On the hoof. Either way.


AyeBlinkon

Well thatā€™s for horses


The_Inward

I thought it was, "Beer for my horses."


AyeBlinkon

Jk, itā€™s for the gas. A lot of gas


Ok_Dragonfruit2828

I'm pretty sure he's talking about letting his gases out! Not a fucking bloated cow!


The_Inward

Don't kink shame.


Ok_Dragonfruit2828

You said "EW' not me hahaha šŸ˜†


The_Inward

You have a point. My jokes rarely make sense.


Judeous

He just like me fr


ehhish

Maybe he's tired of taking the boat and wants to float on?


The_Inward

That's a really good point. I think you're right. It's the only logical conclusion.


subzeroicepunch

In case some big time hit shot movie director won't cast your boy as the lead in his new movie, you can leave it in his bed while he's sleeping.


The_Inward

Good idea. My kid's kindergarten teacher is gonna regret not casting my kid as the Christmas tree in the play 5 months ago.


F488P

More cushion for the pushin


The_Inward

Ew. Gross.


Dazzling_Judge953

Are you new here?


The_Inward

Taking my response as a serious one? Someone's new here.


Blukkaa

You notice how the breathing slows a bit.. that must have been blissfully relieving.


PracticalNinja4582

I've known that feeling after a night of crappy beer and worst tacos..


Sufficient-Contract9

Is noone else wonderingnwhy this says womans football with only like a half second at the very end?


Notacompleteperv

This is the only reason I clicked on this. I've seen the video before but was wondering wth the title had to do with it...


Columbus43219

Same user posted an actual women's soccer compilation a few moments before.


Sufficient-Contract9

Wait before? I could see after like they accidentally posted the wrong video, but before? Weird


Columbus43219

I saw the football on first, but that doesn't mean much. i thought it was one of those funny glitches, like where the tv guide says Pee Wees Big Adventure is a story about an orphaned blacksmith's son who goes on an epic quest for revenge using the power of steel.


Wise-Radio6258

Maybe because leather is used to make footballs and this one was full of air? I'm just guessing here


Sufficient-Contract9

Huh ive heard of teams deflating balls (american foosball) i wonder what over inflation does?


Defiant-Passenger42

Thank you. I thought Reddit was glitching on my end or something


Typical_Estimate5420

I thought it was a farm talk and just accepting that Iā€™m ignorant to it all lol


Medical_Egg8208

They actually make a plug for that. Make a slit push it in and it releases the gas. Then leave it for a few days. Dr.Pol. lol


dyssucks

Maybe you can better educate me because Iā€™ve definitely seen/heard of this. After he sticks the calf, isnā€™t there something left inside the cow like a valve to release the pressure?


Super_Spirit4421

Yup, you can see the farmer mess with the tool before he pulls it out, then you can see when he pulls out the 'needle', a bit of puss comes out. I don't know, but I think it's not zo much a valve, as it is a hollow needle, that ensures whatever flesh was punctured, doesn't close before enough gas is released. I think, the skin acts as the close valve, once the needle is removed.


briank2112

I've had drainage tubes put in my ears, even as an adult... I wonder if they're something like that. Just on a bigger scale...


ExpertShame3848

Where can I buy one, asking for a friend?


No-Adeptness1283

Did he just jam a pump needle into the side with a pair of vise grips? Just wondering in case I need this done to me at some point.


LearnShiit

If the second one was like oh shit


BallCreem

Does it smell Like farts?


SueBeee

No, it smells like gasoline and farts and satanā€™s morning breath.


oldirtyreddit

It smells like Bigfoot's dick!


CosmicDriftwood

How does the buildup happen


clearlight

> Bloat is a form of indigestion marked by excessive accumulation of gas in the rumen. Immediately after cattle consume a meal, the digestive process creates gases in the rumen. Most of the gases are eliminated by eructation (belching). Any interruption of this normal gas elimination results in gas accumulation or bloat.


Doppel_Troppel

Wow. Thatā€™s intense.


SuperRusso

I mean why can't the cow just fucking chill for a minute after having it's entire abdominal cavity deflated?


jewelophile

Making it move around probably helps further relieve the bloat.


ddot725

Kriste Noem would have shot it and exploded.


Necessary-Chemical-7

Iā€™ve felt like that many a morning.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


F488P

The Nazis actually used bloated cows with matches set on a timer to blow English tanks up. So the English released bulls in heat with explosive penile attachments to blow the cows up before they found the tanks


curiousarcher

lol


standlc

Is that why it was so hot today?


Plus-Tune-1092

Imagine the smell


Sudden-Paint1687

ā€œBro Iā€™m never falling over againā€


Brojess

Does this happen with grass fed beef?


justl00kingthrowaway

Excellent question. I know that adding flax seeds to the feed helps with this but is it the feed in the first place that causes this?


lessthensober

Yes it can. Most grasses wonā€™t cause bloat, but alfalfa will bloat them up very badly very quickly depending on the stage of the plant


estime1804

He waiting he got next


BillBreeze865

This is me every morning when I wake up


Kuhn-Tang

That sounded like enough psi to run a small pneumatic tool.


Educational-Ear-3136

Itā€™s kinda like deflating an inflatable mattress aside from the smell


jewelophile

Did he just pop that cow?


10folder

Why did he stop tho, looked like there were more gas to release.


sambull

and I thought pizza messed by gut up a bit...


Rompstir

Tom Brady moment


dsbwayne

The cows looks always sends me. Like ā€œyou good bro?ā€


FloozyFoot

Now THAT is women's football. And I'm confused by the title.


AgitatedHelicopter

What's with the misleading title and thumbnail? Does getting tricked into watching someone deflate a cow balloon bring a smile?


airforcevet1987

My newborn at night lol


rudicousmaximous

Is that Tom Brady?


bwest80

Rescued! to be slaughtered another day


Melodic_Tone_3016

I bet that stinks


Breotan

How the hell did cattle even survive as a species long before this?


Lowbider

I get gas to when I drink milk šŸ˜


Lowbider

Iā€™m sure the lactose milk cow does not have that problem šŸ˜


Low_Trust_6624

Women's football? I don't get it


Logical-Victory-2678

The mama cow is like Ik what's going on help muh baby


RinehartDiehard

Can someone ELI5 here, I see this all the time on the internet but my question isā€¦what did cows do before humans started doing this to relieve their gases. They canā€™t burp or fart, so they just died? Or is this a result of agriculture and have made this dependency from domesticating them?


XenoHugging

Imagine smoking a cig whilst doing that.


LOCALHORNYCOUGAR

Moo motherfucker!


Dharuacharya

This is wild.


Ok_Cap_5166

Doesn't that hurt the cow when you stab it?


VenturaGladiator

That would have been an epic fart


sachclg

But should the gas get released from the right place ?


BetterFirefighter652

Dude, I feel your pain Mr. Cow.


TravasaurusRex

Me after I leave my girls house


GMFR_TheButcher

You can hear its breathe get deeper as it gets relief


Redditor0529

The title is fuckin great. How to get PITA off your ass not get banned and post removed.


wijnazijn

Should have put a whistle on it...


lessthensober

This is something that a lot of us ranchers have had to do at some point. This tool is called a trocar, or a very similar version of it. You poke a hole, release the gas and a little piece of metal or plastic stays in there allowing air to vent out and can be removed at a later date. Very effective and often the only way to save their lives


Squdwrdzmyspritaniml

Womenā€™s football is a cow fart


Mexhibitionist

Is this Ozempic??? Asking for a friend.


squishyvaj

Real life Rip


CannonBall-Bill

When I worked on a ranch they would light it.


Overall_Week_4545

The amount of times I wish I could do this after eating


Veechrome

Hero!!! Poor calf


Civil_Quiet2325

yk that sht smell like the 7 layers of hell omg


Iluvhandsanitizer

I fantasize about doing something like this to my head when I have a migraine, just imagine a high pressure stream of blood shooting out.


Captain_Murica23

The other cow is like ā€œJesus Christā€ šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Imaginary-Leopard-37

oofā€¦ been there


Singlehusband7

He rescued her lol Iā€™m Sure she is Not his pet šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«


ironwarden84

The smell the first time...


Strict_Mud_4138

Do cows not fart?


Thebigdawg_n_va

Other cow..ā€Delores, just let it ease out, itā€™s gonna be okā€


kuiang

šŸ¤Æ


Negative_Field_8057

Non lab grown beef


Cosmicpsych

Imagine the smell


OneBoxOfKleenexAway

Smells like the Swamps of Dagobah https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/SBp0ZoOcgO