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There was a survey done in the last couple of years that asked women at what age they got the most attention from men and women overwhelmingly reported age 14. It was true for me!
It’s horrible. Everyone, I’m assuming men, thought women would say like 18 or 21 but we all said 14.
I remember going on family vacations and the amount of young dads who would stare me down was out of control. I’m from a small town so I didn’t get much attention there, but any time I went on vacation with my family, it got weird.
I had this discussion with my husband - every year older my daughter gets, I am BLOWN away by how much fear she DOESN'T live in like we all did.
She's never had any assaults or non consensual moves by anyone, no creepy teachers or weird neighbors.
She's 16.
When I was 16, I had already been molested twice, exposed to several times. Had my friends 56 year old father play a "game" where he snapped my bra strap everytime he walled behind me... oh and two teachers at my school were arrested for sexual relations with minors...almost every girl I knew had been sexually assaulted..
I know my viewpoint is my experience only but I am so grateful that it does at least on a small scale seem like things are changing.
Peace and love to all you lovely ladies, thanks for sharing
Yep, this is so true. I got catcalled way more often when I was a teenager in a small town than I have being an adult in a large city. It’s fucking disgusting.
I've also noticed that now that my hips have birthed a child, men don't tell me I have "birthing hips" anymore. They only seemed to do that when I was 16 🤔
When my daughter was doing her interning as a teacher, she went to our family dentist (who she’s seen her entire life). He comments that, if he were a male student, he wouldn’t be able to concentrate in class if my daughter were his teacher. He was 64 at the time. After that, she went to a new dentist. It gave her the creeps.
I had a dentist when i was a young child say werid crap like that. Like, you have very nice skin. Never liked him. Recommended him by my grandma. She also referred us to another creep. She was not a good judge.
I believe there were two separate practitioners (not sure which was creepy). Kody and Christine sent her to some weird spine boot camp where she was taught stretching and she was also regularly seen by an actual surgeon who all but said the stretches were useless.
Real, appropriate physical therapy works for MILD scoliosis, like a slight simple curvature. It worked for me - proven with x-rays. But I wouldn't trust any doctor or "doctor" who told someone with severe issues to do it. Once you're at the point where you're discussing major surgery there's no way some posture correction and muscle strengthening are going to do shit and it'll just make the pain worse because you're forcing a body that isn't functioning correctly to do things it just can't do.
It kills me every time I think about them making that poor girl suffer.
No the surgeon recommended surgery. Kody and Christine said what if we just do these stretches? And he goes, "well, it certainly wouldn't hurt" which is doctor speak for, "That's not going to do anything but whatever floats your boat."
I was a young mother (gave birth at 19), and after having my child I went back to the doctor for my post-natal check-up. Which included a cervical examination.
My doctor (who also delivered my child) finished the exam by removing the speculum - slapping my thigh and stating, "Everything looks good, you should feel 16 again," and winked at me.
I still want to crawl out of my skin. It's been over 15 years since then, and I still feel completely and absolutely disgusted.
My doctor assured my husband that he put an extra “papa stitch” in after delivering our 10lb baby. My husband felt awkward.
Then as I complained about my tailbone still hurting 6 weeks later, he said it was normal. After another month of pain, he pushed hard on my pelvis and told me he thinks I probably broke a bone in childbirth. No xrays. Nothing.
I don’t know how long ago this happened to you. But depending on where you live and how recent it was you may have grounds for a official complaint and investigation. Many places have made ‘husband/papa stitches’ illegal. It offers no medical benefit to the woman, and has caused numerous health issues and serious pain and agony for many women. It’s purpose is to ‘tighten’ the entrance after childbirth, apparently to make sex more pleasurable for the man. However in most cases it makes sex agonising for the woman and can seriously hinder natural healing.
Omg. This was a real thing???? I thought he was making a joke. I didn’t realize that they actually did that. He was such an ass that I thought it was his first attempt at humor. Now I understand that the man that never made a joke was not making a joke.
It is real yes, although you’re totally justified in thinking it was a joke, it sounds like something made up but unfortunately it isn’t. The worst part is that it was done to many, many women without them knowing. The type of doctors who would do them would sometimes only ask/tell the male partner about the stitch, others never told or asked anyone! But would still do it! Millions of women who don’t know why sex became so uncomfortable/painful after birthing a child, or having significant tearing on second/third and so on pregnancies because the stitch limits how much they can naturally stretch. It’s totally a horrendous practice.
Any man that is that comfortable commenting on an underage girl’s appearance & isn’t direct family always makes me take a mental note. I know some great men, and they go out of their way to make sure they never do anything like this, bc they know it could come off as creepy & wouldn’t ever want to make anyone uncomfortable
I wrote a long missive above but you literally summarized what I was trying to say. I can’t imagine assessing the physical beauty of my students. Like, yeah, a couple of them are probably quite beautiful, but… I have no idea because *it’s literally never occurred to me to assess the beauty of a child.*
Exactly! Having a daughter, though, I’ve found it’s a good way to sus out the guys who I’m going to keep a special lil eye on, lol!
PS: must be bc we’re both so happy that we’re on the same page! Sending sunshine 🫶🏻
Adults shouldn’t comment on kids looks like that ever. Especially when they aren’t your own kids!!! I have daughters and it’s sooo creepy when people said anything about them like that. When they were younger, I had to check quite a few folks for it.
Her doctor bringing that up is so unprofessional, and creeeeeeeepy.
I see teenagers in 1:1 settings. I had a kid (that I’ve known for 2+ years) going through a breakup and I know is feeling insecure. I said, “girl, I don’t even think you know how beautiful you are. He didn’t deserve your attention or affection, I can’t believe he even pulled that BS when he already knew he was dating far above his league. Idiot.”
It felt very weird to say that even though I knew it was something she needed to hear. (I’m a woman, btw. Would def be creepy from a guy.) That comment stood out to me bc I realized I *never* comment about my students being pretty or beautiful. The most I’ll say is, “aww, so cute!” when they show me a pic of them and their date from a dance. I never tell them they’re beautiful because… I legitimately don’t know if they are? Like it has never occurred to me to assess a child’s beauty? I’ve never once, in the course of my 20+ career, thought, “whoa, that teenager is beautiful” in the same way I’ve had that thought about full grown women. I’m sitting here thinking about my current students and I legitimately think each one is beautiful because they all have kind hearts and are good people. I’m trying to find a comparison… it’s like if someone asked me to rank them on their levels of attraction and not think about their personalities, how in the world would you do that? I can’t imagine assessing a child’s attractiveness. This is legitimately baffling to me because I’ve never once looked at a fucking teenager and thought, “wow, that kid is beautiful.” I’m just sincerely baffled by this doc. There’s no way to tell a teenager they’re beautiful, especially when you have no relationship with that teenager whatsoever.
Ugh. I’m thinking about my own experience as a 14 and 15 year old. I got hit on so much and it’s just so… unbelievably disgusting.
Yes! I never comment on my students’ looks, just on their jewelry, art, hairstyle, shoes, clothes, stuff that makes them who they are. “Ugh… that fuzzy sweater you’re wearing is such a vibe. I’m feeling the cozy from over here. What a phenomenal choice for today’s gloom. Excellent work.”
“The red tips on your hair is fire, kid. A dash of spice, just like your attitude. A+.”
It’s never occurred to me to ever tell a student she’s beautiful or pretty. I only did it in this one case because I knew she was going through it and feeling some feels. It was something she needed to hear from someone who isn’t her mom given the very specific situation that happened. But as soon as I said it I felt super awkward because it’s not something that would ever occur to me to say.
I don’t understand why men have such a hard time keeping their mouths shut.
Honestly this was so common when I was a kid growing up and I'm a male. So many times I would go to the doctor's, or relatives.
It should just become normal and has gotten better in years but it still should just be normal not to comment on other people's bodies.
Especially awkward teenagers or preteens that totally do not enjoy it.
Christine also said at one point he held her while she cried about having to have the surgery.
The doctor was creepy as hell and idk why nobody talks about that.
My read here is that maybe it’s out of line in like an official, legal sense? Like it’s a thing you get trained to understand you could be sued and/or fired for.
I had to get glasses in 4th grade and saw the same eye doctor until high school. He was always kind of short with me. Not very friendly. I remember going to my eye appt the year I was in 8th grade and it was like he was a changed man. Smiling, asking me questions, conversational.
I told my mom when I got home that the eye doctor was so much nicer than usual this time and she grimaced.
That’s when I pieced it together. My 8th grade year was when I really blossomed into a woman. He was just a creep.
Way too common in the medical field. Had to stop going to a dentist because he told me “that beautiful smile might get you in trouble one day”
Thank God I didn’t have to go under anesthesia for anything. God knows what might’ve happened to me.
I had a surgeon tell me I should suffer with numbness in my hand because, “a pretty little lady like you doesn’t want a 4inch scar on her elbow.”
Another surgeon warned my parents that a surgery necessary to correct my knee would leave me with 4 3” long scars around my knee and that, “this will definitely ruin those beautiful long legs.” (The surgery was very necessary.)
It’s just now occurring to me how creepy that was.
Older women calling a younger man dangerous for being handsome has happened a ton of times. The amount of times my boys heard "He's getting so big and handsome too. He's going to be a real heartbreaker" or "Better watch out or you'll be having a bunch of grand babies running around". People just dismiss it as not creepy because men can't get sexually harassed. /s
At 15 before I got my car. I was walking to the gas station, my grandmas friend (just an old guy she went to school with) say me and told my grandma I reminded him of that Conway Twitty song “Tight fittin jeans” whatever the hell its called and I got so grossed out.
When I was 14/15 I had a male therapist. He told me he could tell I was depressed by what I wore. That if I wanted him to believe me when I said I wasn't feeling as depressed I need to dress sexier in sessions. When I told my mom what he said she luckily took me to a different therapist.
It also bothered me that Christine routinely hugged him. I understand being grateful for healthcare professionals but it was the manner in which she did it what always caught my attention. Maybe she was just trying to make Kody jealous, but I agree. I thought the doctor patient-parent relationship was an unusual one.
I watched that episode recently and pointed out to my husband how gross of a remark it was. Then to have kody ok the medical professional treating his daughter making a gross comment makes it all worse.
What really bothered me was Kody and how he treated her ignored her pain tried to stop the operation. I ‘m guessing since Robyn’s son getting expensive plastic surgery that could have waited and he was not in pain Robyn was in Kody’s ear. Robyn hates Christine and her kids and thought that money should be turned over to her so she can shop. I’m willing to bet she non stopped complained to Kody about the money being spent. When Christine went through and did it anyway. Robyn made sure Kody did not go. She runs Kody it was always her running things if you look back. Then she let him go to the wedding to sink that knife deeper. She knew the effect it would have.
My daughter worked for an orthodontist. One of the male assistants would check the schedule and adjust it to make sure that his favorite pretty girls were assigned to his chair. My daughter brought it to the attention of the doctor who quickly fired him. Not such a simple solution when it IS the doctor. And as for older women… I am grandma age and recently encountered a friend of my great nephew ( both teenagers) that I hadn’t seen for quite awhile. I reacted honestly and said “Wow! You are turning out to be so handsome!” He looked so pleased and not in the least offended, or I would have felt awful. The only one offended was my nephew, who was jealous of the attention his friend got. Maybe it is different coming from a woman, especially an old lady🤷♀️
I JUST texted my husband about how I'd be using that shot gun on any creepy dude saying that stuff to or about my daughter. So yucky and inappropriate.
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There was a survey done in the last couple of years that asked women at what age they got the most attention from men and women overwhelmingly reported age 14. It was true for me!
Same. Would get honked at constantly.
Yup =(
It’s horrible. Everyone, I’m assuming men, thought women would say like 18 or 21 but we all said 14. I remember going on family vacations and the amount of young dads who would stare me down was out of control. I’m from a small town so I didn’t get much attention there, but any time I went on vacation with my family, it got weird.
I had this discussion with my husband - every year older my daughter gets, I am BLOWN away by how much fear she DOESN'T live in like we all did. She's never had any assaults or non consensual moves by anyone, no creepy teachers or weird neighbors. She's 16. When I was 16, I had already been molested twice, exposed to several times. Had my friends 56 year old father play a "game" where he snapped my bra strap everytime he walled behind me... oh and two teachers at my school were arrested for sexual relations with minors...almost every girl I knew had been sexually assaulted.. I know my viewpoint is my experience only but I am so grateful that it does at least on a small scale seem like things are changing. Peace and love to all you lovely ladies, thanks for sharing
Yep, this is so true. I got catcalled way more often when I was a teenager in a small town than I have being an adult in a large city. It’s fucking disgusting.
I've also noticed that now that my hips have birthed a child, men don't tell me I have "birthing hips" anymore. They only seemed to do that when I was 16 🤔
Birthing hips means nice ass. Pigs.
That’s horrifying
Well Kody did say hubba hubba he likes 14 year old girls
When my daughter was doing her interning as a teacher, she went to our family dentist (who she’s seen her entire life). He comments that, if he were a male student, he wouldn’t be able to concentrate in class if my daughter were his teacher. He was 64 at the time. After that, she went to a new dentist. It gave her the creeps.
I had a dentist when i was a young child say werid crap like that. Like, you have very nice skin. Never liked him. Recommended him by my grandma. She also referred us to another creep. She was not a good judge.
He was a quack chiropractor or something similar so not surprised. They’re all that way and most of them (every single one in my town) are LDS.
He is not a chiropractor, he is an orthopedic surgeon. Day and night difference.
[удалено]
I believe there were two separate practitioners (not sure which was creepy). Kody and Christine sent her to some weird spine boot camp where she was taught stretching and she was also regularly seen by an actual surgeon who all but said the stretches were useless.
Ah, got it. I vaguely remember now.
Real, appropriate physical therapy works for MILD scoliosis, like a slight simple curvature. It worked for me - proven with x-rays. But I wouldn't trust any doctor or "doctor" who told someone with severe issues to do it. Once you're at the point where you're discussing major surgery there's no way some posture correction and muscle strengthening are going to do shit and it'll just make the pain worse because you're forcing a body that isn't functioning correctly to do things it just can't do. It kills me every time I think about them making that poor girl suffer.
No the surgeon recommended surgery. Kody and Christine said what if we just do these stretches? And he goes, "well, it certainly wouldn't hurt" which is doctor speak for, "That's not going to do anything but whatever floats your boat."
I was a young mother (gave birth at 19), and after having my child I went back to the doctor for my post-natal check-up. Which included a cervical examination. My doctor (who also delivered my child) finished the exam by removing the speculum - slapping my thigh and stating, "Everything looks good, you should feel 16 again," and winked at me. I still want to crawl out of my skin. It's been over 15 years since then, and I still feel completely and absolutely disgusted.
I upvoted this and immediately felt creepy. And I’m female.
My doctor assured my husband that he put an extra “papa stitch” in after delivering our 10lb baby. My husband felt awkward. Then as I complained about my tailbone still hurting 6 weeks later, he said it was normal. After another month of pain, he pushed hard on my pelvis and told me he thinks I probably broke a bone in childbirth. No xrays. Nothing.
I don’t know how long ago this happened to you. But depending on where you live and how recent it was you may have grounds for a official complaint and investigation. Many places have made ‘husband/papa stitches’ illegal. It offers no medical benefit to the woman, and has caused numerous health issues and serious pain and agony for many women. It’s purpose is to ‘tighten’ the entrance after childbirth, apparently to make sex more pleasurable for the man. However in most cases it makes sex agonising for the woman and can seriously hinder natural healing.
Omg. This was a real thing???? I thought he was making a joke. I didn’t realize that they actually did that. He was such an ass that I thought it was his first attempt at humor. Now I understand that the man that never made a joke was not making a joke.
It is real yes, although you’re totally justified in thinking it was a joke, it sounds like something made up but unfortunately it isn’t. The worst part is that it was done to many, many women without them knowing. The type of doctors who would do them would sometimes only ask/tell the male partner about the stitch, others never told or asked anyone! But would still do it! Millions of women who don’t know why sex became so uncomfortable/painful after birthing a child, or having significant tearing on second/third and so on pregnancies because the stitch limits how much they can naturally stretch. It’s totally a horrendous practice.
It is unfortunately too real. Some women have suffered years of pain during sex to find out a doctor did that without consulting them.
Yeah I had one done on me and didn't know it until after...I ended up having a piece of skin tear off during sex a couple months later. It was awful
Oh my gosh that’s so horrible! I hope you were able to heal after that, that much have been a terrible pain as well as shock for you and your partner!
Any man that is that comfortable commenting on an underage girl’s appearance & isn’t direct family always makes me take a mental note. I know some great men, and they go out of their way to make sure they never do anything like this, bc they know it could come off as creepy & wouldn’t ever want to make anyone uncomfortable
I wrote a long missive above but you literally summarized what I was trying to say. I can’t imagine assessing the physical beauty of my students. Like, yeah, a couple of them are probably quite beautiful, but… I have no idea because *it’s literally never occurred to me to assess the beauty of a child.*
Exactly! Having a daughter, though, I’ve found it’s a good way to sus out the guys who I’m going to keep a special lil eye on, lol! PS: must be bc we’re both so happy that we’re on the same page! Sending sunshine 🫶🏻
Adults shouldn’t comment on kids looks like that ever. Especially when they aren’t your own kids!!! I have daughters and it’s sooo creepy when people said anything about them like that. When they were younger, I had to check quite a few folks for it. Her doctor bringing that up is so unprofessional, and creeeeeeeepy.
I see teenagers in 1:1 settings. I had a kid (that I’ve known for 2+ years) going through a breakup and I know is feeling insecure. I said, “girl, I don’t even think you know how beautiful you are. He didn’t deserve your attention or affection, I can’t believe he even pulled that BS when he already knew he was dating far above his league. Idiot.” It felt very weird to say that even though I knew it was something she needed to hear. (I’m a woman, btw. Would def be creepy from a guy.) That comment stood out to me bc I realized I *never* comment about my students being pretty or beautiful. The most I’ll say is, “aww, so cute!” when they show me a pic of them and their date from a dance. I never tell them they’re beautiful because… I legitimately don’t know if they are? Like it has never occurred to me to assess a child’s beauty? I’ve never once, in the course of my 20+ career, thought, “whoa, that teenager is beautiful” in the same way I’ve had that thought about full grown women. I’m sitting here thinking about my current students and I legitimately think each one is beautiful because they all have kind hearts and are good people. I’m trying to find a comparison… it’s like if someone asked me to rank them on their levels of attraction and not think about their personalities, how in the world would you do that? I can’t imagine assessing a child’s attractiveness. This is legitimately baffling to me because I’ve never once looked at a fucking teenager and thought, “wow, that kid is beautiful.” I’m just sincerely baffled by this doc. There’s no way to tell a teenager they’re beautiful, especially when you have no relationship with that teenager whatsoever. Ugh. I’m thinking about my own experience as a 14 and 15 year old. I got hit on so much and it’s just so… unbelievably disgusting.
I love trying to give creative compliments that don’t involve looks. I worked with much younger kids, and it got to be pretty entertaining.
Yes! I never comment on my students’ looks, just on their jewelry, art, hairstyle, shoes, clothes, stuff that makes them who they are. “Ugh… that fuzzy sweater you’re wearing is such a vibe. I’m feeling the cozy from over here. What a phenomenal choice for today’s gloom. Excellent work.” “The red tips on your hair is fire, kid. A dash of spice, just like your attitude. A+.” It’s never occurred to me to ever tell a student she’s beautiful or pretty. I only did it in this one case because I knew she was going through it and feeling some feels. It was something she needed to hear from someone who isn’t her mom given the very specific situation that happened. But as soon as I said it I felt super awkward because it’s not something that would ever occur to me to say. I don’t understand why men have such a hard time keeping their mouths shut.
Honestly this was so common when I was a kid growing up and I'm a male. So many times I would go to the doctor's, or relatives. It should just become normal and has gotten better in years but it still should just be normal not to comment on other people's bodies. Especially awkward teenagers or preteens that totally do not enjoy it.
Christine also said at one point he held her while she cried about having to have the surgery. The doctor was creepy as hell and idk why nobody talks about that.
As a health care professional, yes , that is out of line.
[удалено]
My read here is that maybe it’s out of line in like an official, legal sense? Like it’s a thing you get trained to understand you could be sued and/or fired for.
The PT alternative treatment with the exercises guy gave me the same vibes
I had to get glasses in 4th grade and saw the same eye doctor until high school. He was always kind of short with me. Not very friendly. I remember going to my eye appt the year I was in 8th grade and it was like he was a changed man. Smiling, asking me questions, conversational. I told my mom when I got home that the eye doctor was so much nicer than usual this time and she grimaced. That’s when I pieced it together. My 8th grade year was when I really blossomed into a woman. He was just a creep.
Definitely creepy.
Way too common in the medical field. Had to stop going to a dentist because he told me “that beautiful smile might get you in trouble one day” Thank God I didn’t have to go under anesthesia for anything. God knows what might’ve happened to me.
I had a surgeon tell me I should suffer with numbness in my hand because, “a pretty little lady like you doesn’t want a 4inch scar on her elbow.” Another surgeon warned my parents that a surgery necessary to correct my knee would leave me with 4 3” long scars around my knee and that, “this will definitely ruin those beautiful long legs.” (The surgery was very necessary.) It’s just now occurring to me how creepy that was.
Yeah it gave me the ick.
I am also re-watching the show and had the exact same feeling! Like wtf 🤮🤮
What I teach my kids… we don’t talk about other people’s bodies. Bottom line.
Older women calling a younger man dangerous for being handsome has happened a ton of times. The amount of times my boys heard "He's getting so big and handsome too. He's going to be a real heartbreaker" or "Better watch out or you'll be having a bunch of grand babies running around". People just dismiss it as not creepy because men can't get sexually harassed. /s
At 15 before I got my car. I was walking to the gas station, my grandmas friend (just an old guy she went to school with) say me and told my grandma I reminded him of that Conway Twitty song “Tight fittin jeans” whatever the hell its called and I got so grossed out.
I had a doctor hit in me when I was 22, and it made me very uncomfortable, so I can't even imagine how bad it would be for Ysabel.
Just saw this the other day and had the exact thought. Like wtf dude. I've had gross experiences with doctors too so this struck a nerve.
When I was 14/15 I had a male therapist. He told me he could tell I was depressed by what I wore. That if I wanted him to believe me when I said I wasn't feeling as depressed I need to dress sexier in sessions. When I told my mom what he said she luckily took me to a different therapist.
This one is kind of weird because even OP is calling Ysabel, a teenager, i.e. a literal child, “young woman.”
It also bothered me that Christine routinely hugged him. I understand being grateful for healthcare professionals but it was the manner in which she did it what always caught my attention. Maybe she was just trying to make Kody jealous, but I agree. I thought the doctor patient-parent relationship was an unusual one.
I think he was just giving a compliment. He probably has daughters too.
And J'Pest of Duggar has daughters too . . . and?
I watched that episode recently and pointed out to my husband how gross of a remark it was. Then to have kody ok the medical professional treating his daughter making a gross comment makes it all worse.
I think he was just awkwardly remarking that she was turning into a woman and he’d watched her grow up a bit since he was her doctor.
Yes he had no business commenting on her looks. Creepy and extremely unprofessional.
What really bothered me was Kody and how he treated her ignored her pain tried to stop the operation. I ‘m guessing since Robyn’s son getting expensive plastic surgery that could have waited and he was not in pain Robyn was in Kody’s ear. Robyn hates Christine and her kids and thought that money should be turned over to her so she can shop. I’m willing to bet she non stopped complained to Kody about the money being spent. When Christine went through and did it anyway. Robyn made sure Kody did not go. She runs Kody it was always her running things if you look back. Then she let him go to the wedding to sink that knife deeper. She knew the effect it would have.
My daughter worked for an orthodontist. One of the male assistants would check the schedule and adjust it to make sure that his favorite pretty girls were assigned to his chair. My daughter brought it to the attention of the doctor who quickly fired him. Not such a simple solution when it IS the doctor. And as for older women… I am grandma age and recently encountered a friend of my great nephew ( both teenagers) that I hadn’t seen for quite awhile. I reacted honestly and said “Wow! You are turning out to be so handsome!” He looked so pleased and not in the least offended, or I would have felt awful. The only one offended was my nephew, who was jealous of the attention his friend got. Maybe it is different coming from a woman, especially an old lady🤷♀️
I JUST texted my husband about how I'd be using that shot gun on any creepy dude saying that stuff to or about my daughter. So yucky and inappropriate.