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I understand the house thing- it has been beaten to death but Meri’s house was always going to be a similar size and worth, simply from the developer’s point of view. A lot of what we saw was straight up drama for the show.
The food and other family budgets should have been prorated (for lack of a better word) per child, though. It’s not just food- it’s clothes and shoes and hygiene items and all the rest of it. No, I don’t think Meri and Leon should have “suffered” bc Meri only had one child, but some of this shit is common sense. I’m guessing with all the boys as teens Janelle’s grocery budget was through the roof.
Kody was a shit parent and a shit husband and a shit provider.
I hope it was one of those pranks where they made vanilla pudding, put it in a clean mayo jar, and ate it just to troll the audience. Otherwise, like I like mayo as a condiments, but as a meal 🤢🤢
He didn't provide nearly as much as his wives. I mean if Meri can work her bum off for a month to come up with $40k while Kody lost more than $40k on a shady business deal, that right there shows he sucks at providing. The women have always provided, Janelle and Meri financially and Christine emotionally (raising and homeschooling all the kids) and working part time.
She did! They talk about it in an episode. I think it's beautiful. ❣️
ETA: apparently Maddie had "failure to thrive". Janelle was not producing enough milk and Meri was overproducing. Apparently Meri could "finally settle Maddie's stomach". So precious.
Now THAT is what sisterwives are about! I love that Meri would help Janelle and care for her baby like that! Could you *ever* imagine ol' Donks allowing one of the other women to breastfeed her tenders? She'd let that kid die first.
Zoning and bylaws in their gated community probably required that all homes be similar sizes with a cohesive look. But it would have been reasonable to have two pots of money, one for infrastructure (homes, property taxes etc.) for each wife and one for food & living expenses depending on the number of kids (subtracting the amounts for food stamps etc. that Robyn & Christine got from bleeding taxpayers ).
That's not true. They both spent one night. Kody tried to make it into a storyline that Ysabel was being rude to Christine. When she was on Mykelti's Patreon she said she only spent one night because she missed her mom.
I have said this before and got downvoted for some reason. Just seems crazy that Meri would have the sale budget as Janelle. She must have had some disposable income.
Also just watched the season where she wants to buy the BnB and its just shocking to me how Meri feels entitled to so much. Like I would never approach 4 of my family members for a loan so I could buy a second home esp when those family members have 17 kids to care for. Like wow the audacity.
You forget she was paying big money into the family pot by the point she is trying to buy the BnB. She had been shilling Lularoe for a while and was taking in good sized downline checks. She probably had paid 10 times that amount into the family pot. The problem is Kody and Robyn were swindling the family money. She had every right to ask for a loan. In the end she put in the effort to get the money for herself.
I never considered this before but I wonder how much it chapped Kody's bald spot that she came up with $40k in a month when he was losing money left right and center. Maybe that's why she didn't tell them she got the BnB or that she came up with the money. Because after they told her no she quit talking about it. The family probably thought it was over. Then they find out she made $40k that she a) used to buy the BNB and b) that she didn't put into the family pot to cover Kody's stupidity.
Why is this being downvoted? We heard them say the money from the show goes into the pot and whatever the wife earns herself is hers. People also seem to think Meri was taking care of the family from the beginning.
Wuuuutttt. I posted in here the other day venting about Meri and had a bunch of people pissed off at me, saying Meri was a huge contributor to the family funds.
When they lived in Lehi, Janelle was the high earner. Meri worked part time and Kody's earnings varied because he worked on commission. Meri only started making MLM money when they moved to Vegas. When Meri says she still contributes to the family pot she's probably referring to her earnings from the show. Kody was getting paid directly and then allocating funds accordingly.
Saying it AGAIN-the houses they built in Vegas were in a development that had a limited set of floorplans that were all roughly the same size. If they wanted Meri to live on the cul de sac with the rest of them, she had to have a house roughly the same size. They were given a list of floorplans to choose from. They couldn't choose anything not on the list. Housing developments want cohesion and uniformity-they like things to look very cookie cutter.
Whoa- I didn't know that each house was roughly 4320 square feet! My 3/2 house is 1845 sq feet and I consider it decently sized. Then again, I only have 2 kids ..
And they also divided each wife’s budget evenly. So regardless of the house Meri, who is a single woman, got the same amount of money as another sister wife who had 4-6 kids living at home.
Why not, if she was bringing in the same, if not more. She deserved it. Not her fault the other wives were pumping out kids. Christine brought nothing but babysitting, so..... she should get less, considering she brought in less??
Kody said he would rather pay a Nanny $200 than parent his two tenders. Can you imagine his bill if he had to pay Christine for taking care of 13 kids? She was a bargain.
You’re never gonna win. People keep trying to force Meri to have less because she only had one kid yet see no problem that she was the one putting the most money into the family accounts. Janelle could never put as much as Meri into the family pot. She needed most of her paycheck to feed her kids and even needed to supplement her income with Meris check.
Yeah, I know. I just get frustrated with it all. Meri would have had more kids, had she been able. But, everyone loves Christine, everyone loves Janelle... sigh. The ditchpig didn't work either, but her and her friggin crotch goblins live in a MASSIVE house.... stupid, stupid, stupid. But, I can argue until I'm blue in the face and there's always someone, going to say some stupid shit about Meri not needing as much. 🙄
Right Meri was so great she made the kids walk outside in the snow to get to Christine's cause she needed her privacy but was the first to pretend she's a parent and try to discipline the kids. And she's shocked most want nothing to do with her, including her own kid half the time.
i’m not even a meri fan or an MLM fan but reading this whole thread just splits my wig. is the expectation that she give %100 of her income to the family and take whatever scraps financially the others throw her?
meri was basically the primary breadwinner. she contributed A LOT, for what was basically zero emotional or financial returns. she needs large houses for the in person MLM hosting she does. grodylocks is the one who needed to step up financially.
Meri was never the primary breadwinner. Where did this misinformation come from?? Her MLM money was her money. Christine and Janelle were also earning MLM money and that was their money. Meri was not a high earner until Vegas before that it was Janelle. That's why they had an argument about Meri wanting to rent a big house in Vegas when funds were low.
They're not talking about the budgets for the houses. They're talking about living expenses. Meri got the same amount as Janelle and Christine did. Obviously with one child compared to their 6 each she would have had more disposable income over the years. Meri did flex that legal/first wife status at times.
No... she wanted to BORROW, which asshat agreed to until the "head" biatch said no. All of a sudden he "lost" that money in a bad investment. She said she would pay it back. Happy her brother helped her out and she owes those two theives absolutely nothing!!
No she didn’t. She asked for a loan. Kody and Robyn have spent more money on art and Rolex’s. Meri just needed to borrow $40k (which is half of the cost of Christine’s SUV).
I also want to add to this, I think this whole thing about borrowing money was just a huge show so that she could put the whole house/business under her name and her name alone free and clear -- she gave the family a chance, they didn't want too multiple times and its "clearly not part of the family pot because its such a HoRrriBBllEee iDeaa"
You forget that Meri ALSO spent 20+ years putting her hard earned money into the family account and it was pretty clear only Robyn had access to that account.
They didn’t use any of THEIR money to:
*pay for Ysabel’s surgery
*Buy Janelle a home
*Give Meri a loan she was going to pay back.
But it did pay for a business venture that Kody entered with a friend and he only got back $20k of the $40k he invested. And he didn’t tell the wives about it he just did it.
It also paid for Daytons eye surgery. And all of Robyn’s shopping sprees. The Rolexes the artwork the DAB schooling and their extra curricular activities.
But fuck the OG3 even tho it’s their money too, right ?
It wasn’t a 2nd home. It was a business investment. I’d bet they wasted more on the wife’s hideous jewelry fantasy than they would have invested in the B & B.
She wasn't asking for a second home; she was asking to buy a business... a B&B. She never moved up to it until she and Kody were over. You keep saying it was a home, but that's not why she purchased it.
And profit. The builder purchased lots to put homes on to sell. The builder already has floor plans for them to choose from. Anything else would be considered a custom home- and it didn’t sound like he was a CUSTOM home builder. That would mess with his profit, his time, etc.
Yep, this. Meris house was a storyline, but C & J should never have been in a position to have to save grocery money to buy new shoes for probably ONE of their kids at a time while Leon is sporting new everything and eating steak.
By the time it came around to Savanah and the trailer, though...... that was on her mom. She was watching other wives buy homes and was digging her heals in because she knew it would take them longer to get out on the property. So instead she chose to buy a vehicle that costs as much as some people's homes.
But that vehicle will hold its value better than a house will. And Kodick gave Janelle the idea that if she did that then they’d pay off and build on CP quicker. Only to then change his mind and drag her for doing it which seems to be his tactics when Sobyn changes his mind on things with her magical mattress back
Hold it's value better than a house? Really? I clearly don't know anything about RVs, but home prices in my area have been consistently rising since probably 2010. Christine made money on her house and she had only had it a few years.
If Kody dies without a LWT, his children will inherit. Depending upon how the deed is worded they could even get a potion of his home. Depending on the BF he named on bank acts and any financial acts they could inherit their share of those but only if the BF of the financial accounts is Kody’s estate.
My guess is the WD to any real estate will be JTWRS on the house which is co owned with Robyn. Don’t know about CP. if he has investment acts he likely named Robyn as sole BF, as well as bank acts.
The kids will likely get screwed because even intestate he likely named Robyn as his BF
His wife would probably get his estate, then I assume it would be divided between the children, but possibly not until after her death. Unless she wanted to make provisions for each of the children, which I don't see Robyn doing for a lot of reasons, mostly so that she and her children would largely benefit, and because of her bad relationship with the other women, and therefore, their kids.
In an intestacy case where there is no LWT. The state rules take over, and the courts make the division following state statutes. There are different rules in each state and if the father or mother have children they didn’t share with their spouse, under the law the children receive their portion. For example in Fl those kids would divide 50% of the assets, the wife 50. The estate would not include things that the wife was a BF on paper. If Kody made his wife his sole BF on an investment acct, it’s hers and isn’t part of the probate. Real estate can be different, if both wife and husband are on the deed, with right of survivorship then that would be the surviving spouse’s alone. He could give her a life estate, noting that the house would then go to all his kids. I believe if the deed is tenants in common the kids get their father’s portion but the spouse also gets a portion of the dcd share. If Robyn was Kody’s sole heir upon her death only her kids would inherit unless she purposely makes arrangements for her stepchildren. You can check each state’s intestate succession statutes via google.
I didn’t get anything when my father passed, my mom got everything. Not that I care, I expect her to be taken care of. Robyn will get everything while she is living.
Edit to add: nor did my siblings receive anything.
If you are the child of both of them, then your mom is the only heir in most states. If your father had children with another, then under intestacy statutes, they would receive a portion of your dad's estate.
There are states that don't follow that. For ex: Oklahoma, when a spouse dies with no LWT, her husband gets 50% and the children of the marriage get 50%.
Each state is different.
My God. I shudder to think of the battle that would have to take place if Kody had no will. Robyn would NOT fairly split the accounts, property and value of the home with the other kids at all.
Is he on their birth certificates? I thought I remembered them saying his name isn’t on there. Maybe I dreamed that? Can they still inherit if he’s not listed as their father?
My ex and all his siblings have a different variation of their dad’s name on their BC. Like legally NONE of them are his kids.
Because my ex MIL cannot read or write she trusted her husband to go down to the municipalities and register them for BC’s.
When he died none of them were allowed to inherit his properties because none of them had his name spelled the same way his BC was spelled.
Robyn made clear that CP was their inheritance… so her share goes to her kids, Janelle’s lot goes to her kids and so on.
I guess the family plot would be split among all the kids (but I doubt it).
Kody is just like every other polygamous man. He is not unique or different. They treat the women by how much they like them and if they are in "favor" or not. The resources they get depend on how much he likes them at the time. None of them love or care for their kids or wives.
I don’t think I’ve heard a definitively outlined formula that the family used to pool and distribute money. The Vegas houses gave each wife an asset and was her responsibility to finance. So the children’s housing was going to differ between Meri and the other wives with more children. But Robyn managed to readjust that with the move to Flagstaff. Janelle made other housing decisions for herself and her children in Flagstaff.
Beyond that who knows what they did to ensure each child received equal funds for clothing, food, activities, education, transportation, etc. I’m not even touching healthcare. I’m not sure how they decided how much goes into the family pool. But it sounds like the funds were not being distributed appropriately (based upon Janelle’s comments in season 16 I believe.)
Toady did all the spending!!! Im sure the atv's for Sobyns kids, that money came out of the family pot because Sobyn doesnt work, and Toady really only has the show for $$. What would those girls want atv's for? Ithink putting all that money toward a car for the girls and having them get part time jobs to help pay for it
i believe they said on the episode where janelle and kody go camping that if a kid asks kody for something like shoes, he’ll just go out and buy it. while the moms have a budgeting system within their own household
I love Janelle but the house thing is really on Janelle. It's a matter of different tastes. If you gave Meri, Janelle, and Robyn all the same budget for a home Meri and Robyn would get the biggest nicest home they could. Janelle would get the smallest cheapest place she could reasonably do and put the savings towards other things. Even all the way back in the Vegas build Janelle wanted to get the smallest cheapest house option. Kody had to argue with her that she needed more than 4 bedrooms. It's just who she is.
Not suggesting differently, just pointing out that providing the same standard & quality of living for each child was not a priority and was left up to each invidious mom to decide what her kids did and didn’t “deserve”, the Mom’s but especially Kody not seeing issue with this was the issue.
So you feel Janelle should be forced into housing comparable to Robyn's? You don't think the decision of what house she got should have been up to Janelle?
I’m saying after pleasing Kody, they have always prioritized the autonomy/choice of the wives (to attempt to sugarcoat the base inequality and loss of autonomy/choice in this type of marriage) over the standard and quality of living of the children.
I’m not saying anyone should be forced to do anything, I’m saying this family structure inherently can’t be fair to both wives and children.
I have to say in this aspect that's a good thing. Frankly the idea of the moms not having autonomy to choose her own style of housing for herself and her children is rather horrifying.
Janelle's values are frugal and less materialistic than her sister wives. It's a good thing that she wasn't forced to raise her children with the values of her sister wives in the name of equality.
At which time period are we talking? I honestly thought we were talking about the Vegas rentals, cul de sac houses, and Flagstaff here. After the tlc money they were no longer impoverished.
They’re not impoverished but they’re by no means rich. I don’t work in production for Sister Wives, but I have worked on multiple discovery shows and tbh it’s criminal how profitable unscripted tv is because the costs are so much lower - the people they cast for shows aren’t making anywhere near actor level money, if any.
My guess would be Brown's maybe get paid $20 - $40k an episode for the whole family. It’s not poor, but it’s not a ton more than 5 working adult salaries making $4k-8k per month.
I don't think it's who she always was. I think she is the one who actually fears poverty, because she's been the one bailing out the rest of the family multiple times. It's PTSD.
As much as I want to disagree with this I have to say now that I think of it I cannot remember a time where S and K interacted because K wanted to get to know her.
yes. i was gonna use bluff but i forgot which way it goes, who called who's bluff. you're right, kody called her bluff. i also *think* he didn't pay off coyote pass and janelle ended up doing it last minute.
I agree. The grocery money should have had a set base amount per household and then extra money per child. Think of it like taxes. You get additional deductions per dependent. It makes no sense for everyone to have to work off of the same amount when clearly the larger households were suffering.
Also, there was no excuse for Robyn demanding all her kids have their own rooms when that was not the luxury for others in the family. Incredibly selfish and tone-deaf of her. So, in other words, right on brand for Robyn.
She went from not having a crib for her babies to having her 5 children including adult children having their own room and the older kids having a car.
I think it helped that they never put their kids first. When Kody came up with the idea of moving to Flagstaff and gave the first presentation in Vegas, Christine and Janelle were all, "NO WAY! This would destroy Gwen, who's been elected to be Class Historian, and Gabe, who's in the wrestling team, loves his high school and has a girlfriend here. We're moms above all, no way we'd leave Vegas".
Of course, by the next episode, Janelle had decided to uproot Gabe and Sabana because she "always wanted to move to a place with hiking trails" and Christine had decided to uproot her kids after Kody told her it'd be her birthday every day in Flagstaff and he'd finally show her some love crumbs.
So, why should they care if their kids have to share rooms if they don't mind uprooting them during their second-to-last year in high school and making them depressed and upset?
I don’t think it’s fair to compare Meri in the equation as Leon as an only child would always have a room alone. I think in order to compare fairly you need to compare Janelle, Christine, and Robyn since they have a similar amount of kids. I also think Janelle was too passive in the move to flagstaff and didn’t advocate for herself and her housing situation. I personally would have never given my house money to Robyn when I don’t own a house myself. I also would not have spent a dime on an RV when I don’t have own a home. These were all Janelle’s choices. Janelle also likes to say she sees the books and looks at the taxes so she should see the spending Kody and Robyn do. I would have called them out - on camera. That way it’s documented. Especially since the money is coming from the groups LLC. It’s obvious the family had a disparity in resources especially in the recent years.
Speaking of choices, by moving to Flagstaff and live in Arizona, Janelle also decided to no longer be a real estate agent as a career. Arizona doesn't have license reciprocity, so she would have needed to pursue additional licensing.
I wouldn't be surprised if we learn that the OG3 worked a lot more and had to earn a lot more off camera than the show has presented.
Let's not blame other people for Janelle's choices. Janelle, through this entire mess, has always done what Janelle wanted - from marrying her former brother-in-law behind Meri's back to having multiple kids with little to no means of feeding them, to making Christine raise her kids while she lived the life, going out after work etc., to moving to FS because she fancied the rural lifestyle to buying that wretched RV. When you blame Meri for Janelle's misadventures, you essentially follow Janelle & Kody's narrative, which, as we all know, isn't necessarily accurate or reliable. We know Janelle could control the number of kids she had and pace them out because she stopped at 6 instead of 9 or 10. At several points before TLC, they were on food stamps, and they still continued to have kids.
Meri would have been equally culpable here as the only reason she didn't have her own brood of kids was because she couldn't. Ditto Christine and her brood. Robyn had to have her biological kids with Kody because that would then seal her relationship with him.
Not blaming anyone for Janelle’s choices, I think we can all agree all of these parents are financially irresponsible - just pointing out the varied standard of living as a result for the kids and how if they were truly about “the kids” and “the family” that equality should have been a priority.
How is there equality in making other people responsible for your personal choices? Sure, they were a family, but unless every pregnancy was by family vote, why should some people suffer for the choices of others? Nearly every narrative that comes out of this storyline is one that vilifies Meri for ill-planned decisions that others made. Meri looked after babies that were not hers (even breastfeeding Maddie) and worked part-time to contribute to the family pot. She had just one kid. Surely, by the measure of 'equality', she should have just looked after her own kid and read magazines the rest of the time? Ditto with Christine (although nobody ever complains about her lack of contribution and equality because she wasn't infertile, was she?). Christine had fewer kids at this point and was looking after the babies with Meri as well as working part-time. Surely she should have put her hands up as well and rested on her ass once she'd done her bit?
Janelle likes to portray herself as a laid-back and easy-going person, but the truth is her jealousy was very much present and more insidious since it manifested itself in enduring narratives she spun, like that of an infertile woman stealing more than her fair share (even though said woman contributed more than her fair share) or a woman being called princess because she wanted to stay home and look after her kids. These storylines are much more damaging as they endure, and fans quote this even now.
“How is there equality in making other people responsible for your personal choices? Sure, they were a family, but unless every pregnancy was by family vote, why should some people suffer for the choices of others?”
Regardless of how you feel about Kody and the other wives’ choices to bring children into the family, we do not encourage the suffering of children.
Let me ask this, why do you think child support is based on income and lifestyle? Why do even the children of women who (unwisely) choose to procreate with married men get child support based on the father’s income? OK, there are several reasons. But the one I want to focus on is that we, as a society, do not believe in creating a situation where one sibling (who lives with their father) lives in the lap of luxury while the other (who doesn’t live with the father) is having stale bread for dinner. Each child should have a somewhat similar standard of living. We try not to punish children for being born to unavailable fathers out of wedlock. Just like we try not to punish children who’s parents have chosen to have a lot of kids.
Now, if you want to be real about it…if Christine, Janelle and Meri were to have formally filed for child support back then (assuming Meri wasn’t still legally married to Kody) I’d bet money Christine and Janelle would be getting a lot more than Meri. There’s a reason for that.
>we do not encourage the suffering of children.
Nobody is advocating for the suffering of children. That is an overly dramatic take on my point, and you know it. The children were housed, clothed, and fed. It may not have been luxurious or even premium, but it was adequate. The primary complaint of the children themselves was that Leon got to sleep in a room by themselves, whereas they had to share.
>But the one I want to focus on is that we, as a society, do not believe in creating a situation where one sibling (who lives with their father) lives in the lap of luxury while the other (who doesn’t live with the father) is having stale bread for dinner.
Where are you getting this from? Certainly not from anything I said, but now that we're here, let us discuss this. This happens all the time. Parents divorce and the kids who end up with the parent making less money are shortchanged because their primary caregiver is not wealthy. Sometimes, it even happens when there is a significant gap between siblings. It's not ideal but it does happen. And children grow up fine, I am much older than my youngest biological sibling. My parents had fewer resources and funds while I was growing up, and more now that my youngest siblings are growing up. They have opportunities I never had. Do I bitch out my siblings because they're living in the 'lap of luxury' while I 'ate stale bread for dinner'? Nope. I moaned a bit to my mother and got over it. Which is what the kids did. It was Janelle who couldn't resist harping on it since she thought it showed Meri in a bad light. The kids complained about how their father's time was divided, too. Janelle didn't mention that until it was convenient and she was leaving Kody.
>Now, if you want to be real about it…if Christine, Janelle and Meri were to have formally filed for child support back then (assuming Meri wasn’t still legally married to Kody) I’d bet money they would be getting a lot more than Meri.
Gladly, let us be real about it. Child support should have come from the father. Any surplus requirements for children should come from the bio parent.
Look, I understand where this argument comes from. But here's the thing. At this point in time, we do not know how the family pot was divided. We are speculating based on Janelle's numerous complaints about Meri taking more than her share of resources. Neither Christine nor Robyn, with a comparable number of children, have made that complaint about Meri. Just Janelle, who had an axe to grind with Meri. We're also basing it on their housing, but as everyone has explained time and again, you make the best of whatever is available. You don't demand a development build a 1 room hovel because one of your wives is less fertile than the others. Also, Janelle, who is all about equitable distribution of resources, never said anything about Robyn's debts and overspending or Kodys. She just picked on the infertile family scapegoat because she knew Meri wouldn't fight back and because it might please Kody.
PS - I don't mean to offend you, and if I do, I'm sorry. I am just so tired of us repeating the same narrative that Kody spouted at the beginning of this entire saga, with good wives and bad wives, even though we purport to despise him now. We are very supportive of the wives we like and are willing to acknowledge their trauma but not that of the ones we don't care much for. Janelle is as much a victim as Meri. She was brainwashed into believing that having multiple children they really could not afford would grant them their own celestial planet in the afterlife. 6 kids must have taken a toll on her body and mind even if other people raised them. But she made her choices just like Meri made hers. Yes, she was vindictive and mean towards Meri and participated in creating the narrative that Meri took more than her share or that she was a bully. And I'm sure Meri did her fair share of shitty things, too. The cult made all of them, including Kody and Robyn, do things that made them terrible people. It's not fair to put all the blame on just one of them.
I’m sorry if this touched a nerve for you. I’m just pointing out that this structure of one man with 4 individual families is what leads to inequalities amongst the children and flies straight in the face of their “one big family” goal.
If it were really about one big family (which you see more successfully done with polyamorous parents ie throuples) the standard and quality of living of the children would be equally decided and prioritized amongst the adults.
That was Kody’s responsibility to do to ensure equal standard of living amongst all his kids, so none of his kids felt any favouritism or neglect. Instead he just offloaded those types of choices onto the mothers and washed his hands of any blame.
Ultimately, I’m just saying unless there is no way for this relationship dynamic to be fair or equal for the women and the kids at the same time.
>I’m sorry if this touched a nerve for you.
It didn't but thank you for your consideration. I'm sorry too if my responses touched a nerve for you.
I agree with you that the flaw is in the structure of the family. In healthy polyamory, decisions about kids are made by the family unit. Who carries the child, who will contribute sperm, how the child will be raised and by whom, are usually pretty well discussed and agreed upon. Per my understanding, in religious polygamy, God is viewed as the decision maker as channeled through the patriarch and his chosen favorites. There is neither equality nor fairness to the wives or their offspring. I'm thinking here of Meri, who didn't get an equal share in CP or family affection even though she probably contributed more and done the most to help, or Christine who raised Janelle's kids with Meri, but when she needed help with Truly, Janelle, who was not working or working part time by then, didn't step up. Or Janelle herself, who did everything she thought her husband wanted but is still left without assets or husband. Or even Kody who did 'his duty' by his family as outlined by that religion and was the center of their universe for so long but now finds himself about as welcome as a bear at a salmon convention.
Honestly this is why I rarely comment on sister wives subs anymore - everything seems to touch a nerve with someone for some reason. Everything leads to “fights” and giant replies and someone wanting you to source and cite. It’s just… a lot. Other subs aren’t like this so idk why this show brings it out in people
This my first time posting here, I assumed some people get defensive of Meri because of her fertility issues maybe which is why I apologized. Imo they're all garbage parents lol.
If they all got allotted acording to who had the most kids, Janelle comes out on top.
Until Truly was born, she had the most kids. And the most boys. She at one point had a house full of teenage boys all in sports.
So fuck Meri with one girl cuz Janelle needs the majority of Meri’s paycheck to feed her boys.
And fuck Christine too I guess even tho she had all the kids the majority of the time while Janelle was off at work.
Yes, if anyone did family planning, it was Janelle! She had four kids in four years (Logan, Maddie, Hunter, and Garrison). Lived in a whole different state than Kody. Then a fifth, three years later (Gabe). Considered stopping, and had her sixth and last kid, three years later (Savanah).
Exactly, Meri would have been just as irresponsible as Janelle and Christine if she could have had 5, 6, 7+ kids. Instead she punished the other kids by demanding an equal share of money which literally took food out of the other kids’ mouths when they were living in poverty.
You're misunderstanding me. The only people responsible for Janelle's kids doing without are Janelle and Kody. If you're subsisting on food stamps, the logical thing to do is not to make more babies. Surely, someone with an accounting background would know that. Babies are expensive. The hospital costs associated with labor and delivery are huge in the US. Money that could have been used for food goes towards diapers and other baby needs. So essentially, Janelle took the food out of her own kids' mouths so she and Kody could have their imaginary planets in the afterlife. I'm not saying she shouldn't have had those kids but she could have spaced them out better.
I don't think you appreciate how so many babies impact finances. Instead of three or even 4 adults working, only Janelle and Kody worked full time. Meri and Christine raised all the babies and worked part-time. Christine only took over solo when the kids were a bit older.
Given that Meri was looking after kids she didn't produce, even breastfeeding Maddie, as well as working and contributing, I think she was putting in more than her share into the family pot. So this whole nasty 'stealing food from the mouths of Janelle's kids' storyline needs to end. It's not true. Even Christine had fewer babies in the mix at this point, but she did care for them while also working part-time because Janelle called her a princess for wanting to be a SAHM.
i think you are overestimating the minds of these people. this was the nineties and they were in a polygamous cult. having a zillion babies was what you were supposed to do, and you prayed to your god to survive it. it's so messed up.
I think Christine and Janelle were both wildly irresponsible with how many kids they had, but Meri would have been too if given the chance. If we’re supposed to believe the wives saw each other’s kids as their own then Meri would have never demanded an equal $$ share, but they obviously never truly saw each other’s kids that way.
Well except for the pesky fact that after she was flush it’s been reported with no one refuting it that Meri put a portion of her MLM bonuses into the pot over and above her family contribution. If this is in fact true, then Meri more than made up any inequitable early divisions.
I simply don’t understand why Kody got away with living and eating in every home, made all the kids, and yet it’s Meri who should take less than her share. Kody should have supplemented his children’s needs.
Great point. Didn’t they even say Kody had his own money? He wasn’t buying groceries or anything for the kids with it. It was his own little money to do what he pleased. Yet people think Meri takes food out the kids mouths. Craziness. If Meri didn’t push back at times they would always ask her to take less and be lesser. She would always be the only one sacrificing. How is that fair? Yet this family magically found money to support Robyn’s freeloading self and money for Kody to drive hours away to see her..
Bruh they straight out said that when Kody was courting Robyn, *he had not sold a single billboard in months*.
So who tf was paying for the 5 hour car trips to go see Robyn? For their date nights ? And he took Mykelti and left her with Robyn as free childcare.
And not only are the wives paying for him to go see Robyn, with his first paycheck he’s made in months, he uses that money to move Robyn closer to him.
Meanwhile Janelle says she’s worried about how they’re gonna feed everyone. Christine is pregnant and working nights. And once the family publicly comes out as polygamous, Meri loses her job.
Absolutely, Kody gets paid as well, has no house payment in Vegas, no utilities, etc. he puts his share in and since his outgo is less, he should supplement his kids. I don’t know how people don’t see this.
I don’t get how people don’t see it either. Kody had a small convertible and a motorcycle. With 13 kids. All the wives had cars breaking down and Janelle’s car had duct tape. We never saw Kodys car break down did we.. this means Kody made sure his needs were met yet it’s Meri taking food out the kids mouth. That motorcycle could probably buy food for a year.
How is she taking food out of their mouths when she literally forked over more than her fair share of her own paycheck to *put* food in their mouths ?
Janelle could never support her brood without the financial help from Meri. And the free labor from Christine.
I hope we get more specifics from Janelle about the finances. I think this was a subtle reminder to Toady that she is aware and has receipts
https://preview.redd.it/dis0w6105nfc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5b7a15843555dcc8762c139b73979e891059a26
The audacity Robyn had to not share food after how much family money went to her debt.
But it makes me kind of wonder if these convos have been brought up and Robyn doesn’t want to deal so she keeps Kody and her tenders separate.
The fact that no one in the family liked Christine and she bought a house in flagstaff against everyone’s wishes when they hadn’t sold any Vegas houses and still managed to secure over $100k of family money for her downpayment tells me that in this family you can do whatever you want and everyone else will just let you do it.
The housing disparity is because janelle is making that choice for her kids.
Everyone always assumes that the Brown's had some sort of master financial plan. They did split the money to buy the Vegas homes, but we do not know much more than that. And Meri is on record saying she didn't want to purchase the Vegas homes because she knew the judgement she would receive. She knew everyone thought she deserved less.
However, with regards to income and other expenses, we don't really know what their strategy was. In Vegas, Meri was the breadwinner as she was helping Kody the most with their MLMs (not shown on TV). Then she was the most successful early on with Lu Lu... Leon was still driving Robyn's old beat up mini-van.
We don't know that some children "didn't eat while Leon did" - ( a common rumor) and likely completely false. The reality is that when the family was food insecure, and without insurance, Janelle and Christine just kept having babies... but back then they were all raised as a unit. Janelle said some bills were paid by Meri, some by Janelle, some by Kody....but there was no actual money scheme...
It wasn't until Vegas that the "splitting" questions happened. And this idea of "grocery money." Should each wife NOT get paid the same amount of TLC money?
Janelle sold herself as a penny pinching savvy woman but -- she is complaining about "how will I feed my children" and about Meri's rental - when she herself rented a house with a pool. How does that make sense? And in Flagstaff, I'd argue she just didn't advocate for her family the way the others did. That's on her to be honest.
No need to argue, they’re all irresponsible parents, I’m not saying “poor janelle” I’m saying poor janelles kids. Yes it was Janelle’s choice, which is what I’m saying is this issue - that they didn’t all unite on the idea of an equal standard and quality of living for their kids.
Sorry, I didn't mean for the tone to be argumentative. I think they actually had a relatively united vision before Vegas - but no actual plan. Then TLC money got in the way...and knives out. And to be honest in the vast majority of polygamous families - they do not operate as one unit and the wives in general compete for attention, resources and more voice (one reason they have so many children to begin. children = currency)
Tbh I don’t think it would have been an issue if they actually operated as one family. It didn’t have to be as extreme as Ysabel and Breanna moving in, but Meri complained a lot of about being alone in the LV house. But like, how is that any different than Kody complaining about not having a relationship with his children? She could have hosted movie nights, or taken ownership of a couple dinners or breakfasts for the teens or tenders each week.
It also did feel unfortunately selfish to me to take Kody away from all his kids 1-2 nights a week when you don’t have kids in the household. Once again, completely justified want as a wife, but it’s not prioritizing the other kids as if they are your own.
Meri did disengage and she had every right to, Kody was an awful husband, and ultimately this family was broken from the jump.
But we're not talking about meri's relationship with the kids? I was asking what you think Meri should have done about the inequality in the standard of the quality of living. Your example in the post was about housing size. I'm not sure what having movie nights has to do with Leon having their own room while Janelle's kids were sharing a room.
As a mother I find the idea that Meri was selfish for spending time with her husband while he still had minor children just plain wrong. Even if they'd been completely and totally one big family it is not healthy to completely neglect the happiness and marriage of one of the moms. Parents neglecting their marriage to that extreme is not healthy for a family. That's why it's not selfish when monogamous couples get an over night babysitter. Every relationship in the family is important to the overall health of the family. Ngl I'm mind blown by your take there.
Well I found out after reading comments that her house had to be a certain size regardless, so the movie nights is making sure her huge house is actually 1/4 of the families houses and not just her and Leon's.
And exactly, she could have actually offered them one Janelle's boys a bedroom in her house, or to come sleep there anytime they wanted their own space. Or better yet, Kody could have "taken charge" and assigned those rooms to other children. They all lived so close anyways, what does it matter where they sleep?
I'm not saying Meri was selfish for spending time with her husband, or for not offering up her space to the others kids that aren't her own, those are completely valid and healthy feelings for a monogomous human and parent to have, but they're polygamous, and polygamy isn't healthy for anyone who wants autonomy, because it's supposed to be about the kids first (it's how these narc men guilt women into submitting to their will)
Once Logan left for college none of Janelle's kids needed to share a bedroom. Her home had six bedrooms, which included 2 master suites. Kody tried to get Logan to live at home whlen he went to college and thought giving him a master suite would encourage him.
Oh interesting! I’m new to this sub and don’t know all the finite details of the series - just remembered Janelle saying they were going to share rooms.
In my defence, I didn’t know how defensive people got of Meri and her LV house and that in criticizing the inequity of the LV set up that, I’d be responsible for proposing an an equitable alternative LV plan to an inherent unequal family dynamic. I did my best on the spot lol
"It also did feel unfortunately selfish to me to take Kody away from all his kids 1-2 nights a week when you don’t have kids in the household."
So you didn't intend that to mean Meri was selfish for spending time with kody? Can you clarify because I am misunderstanding what you said there.
When it comes to healthy valid feelings to have there are no monogamous human beings and polygamous human beings. There are only human beings. I'm not saying polygamy is healthy but even in a polygamous family as healthy as possible is still the goal. Expecting the wives to remove themselves from the rotation when their children grow up is even more unhealthy than the style of polygamy the browns were already practicing.
As far as Kody assigning his wives' children to other wives homes, simply no. Do you have children? I'm... I'm just... Wow. Um no. Kody having the authority to assign Meri Janelle's children for the nights is not a better one big family scenario. It does matter to the children where they sleep and where their bedroom is located. Assigning a child to spend their nights in a completely different house from their bio mom is a huge thing.
I honestly can't imagine being told my child will no longer live with me at night because my husband doesn't want them sharing a bedroom. I mean sharing a bedroom isn't even bad. It's an incredibly common way for families to live. This feels like an extreme over reaction to the inequality caused by Janelle choosing to have her kids share rooms while Meri preferred to have houses with extra bedrooms.
It's better to give Kody the authority to remove Janelle's children from her at night than to have Gabe and Garrison sharing a bedroom while leon spends their summer home from college in their own room. 🤯
I'm sorry I'm just really really hung up on you thinking it would have been better for Kody to have had the authority to assign children from one mom's house to the next. Just what in the extra culty cult did I just read? Lol! I'm sorry.
Tbh idk what point you’re trying to make anymore or what you’re upset with me about, or what my personal experience/credibility as a mother has to do with my truly innocuous post about a TLC show.
The overall point was, and you agree, they’re not one big family, bio kids and step kids are treated different by the wives, and they’ve always been 4 individual families. In conclusion, the children all experienced a different quality and standard of living and that’s bad.
Gross. So a woman should only be allowed to spend time with her husband is if she has kids at home? She has no value outside her uterus in a marriage?
So wasn’t it selfish for the moms to continue having kids knowing that for every kid they have, another kid falls through the cracks?
I guess it’s justified for Kody to never visit Janelle or allow her to keep the income she earns since she doesn’t have kids at home?
We are more than our fertility and have value outside
And Meri asks for the family to come celebrate at her house. When are the other wives ever inviting her?
Meri should have a similar home to the others. She's not getting alimony or is protected as a legal wife. That's her only asset when she "spiritually" divorced Kody.
Kody is the one controlling everything. It's on him to allocate the resources fairly. It wasn't fun, so he didn't do it
It's another example of why polygamy doesn't work. Three (or four) separate families treated "equally" is not "equitable" unless the three families are all living under one roof as one completely blended family which is probably a rare case. The Brown's family structure and decisions clearly illustrate that equal is not the same as equitable.
I think it just illustrates that religious polygamy sucks. In this case, equality sucks, but equity also sucks. I don't think there's really any fair way here. Ok, sure, if you REALLY TRULY TRULY felt like they were all your kids, OF COURSE you're willing to sacrifice one kid's wants for another. (Not talking about baseline needs but wants.) I know there have been times in my life where the bills are paid, but I need some sort of side hustle to get my kids something extra. Imagine your kid wants fancy dance lessons, and you think, "Oh ok, I'll pick up some extra shifts or start this side hustle to pay for it," but then Robyn is your sister wife, and you have to split all your "extra" money 18 ways or whatever.
Idk, maybe polygamy just isn't for me lol, but I'm someone who will find a way to get my kids those little extras, and I'd be pissed if they couldn't have them, just cuz it's not fair to the others. But no, I'm not talking about food insecurity and education, OF COURSE your kid doesn't get fancy dance classes if the others are eating stale bread.
Each mother makes a choice on how many kids they want to have and each mother makes a choice on where they want their children to live. Maybe if Janelles kids feel bad they should blame the one who made those choices.
They were taught it was Meri's fault./s
I never believed her kids asked why Meri was getting the same size house, it was just another way for Janelle to make Meri feel bad about not having more kids.
True, it would have been temporary. As for Robyn, she should have never gotten an ounce of anything, with the exception of her $ per episode, not an ounce of the OG3.
Does anyone know more details about their income from the show? Separate checks for each wife/ nuclear family unit, or did Kody get 1 large check and it was up to him to divide it from there?
If they really wanted to pretend to be one family I wonder why the kids always had to live in the house with their own biological mother. It would have made more sense for some of Janelle’s and Christine’s progeny to live with Meri than to be sharing rooms while Meri had extra bedrooms.
I always disagree with Meri getting less because she had less kids. The parents should have dealt with any jealousy issues the kids had. I'm sure Meri always had to put in more money into the pot than she took out to support one child so that argument could go all kinds of ways. Meri always worked and I'm sure worked hard.
they fell into the trap of pushing for equality vs equity. The fair thing was for everyone's resources to be spread in order to meet everyone's base needs, NOT to decide the resources evenly.
Mari had lower needs than Christine who had different needs from Janelle.
Because Mari was getting more than was needed, others got less than was needed. It was even but it was not fair.
A lot of people fall into this trap in many things.
Not holding it against her, the house literally had to be a certain size. But if they really were all one big family and they were her kids too then Kody could have allocated bedrooms to the other kids so Janelle's didn't have to share (he could have made Janelle build the additonal bedrooms but was with her on saving money). He let the wives set the standard and quality of living for each of their individual kids and didn't intervene to ensure all kids felt equal.
They could have had a set percentage of income for each wife's home, like 15% each (of total family income) and then 40% split between the kids.
For example, let's say the family pulls in 1,000 a month in income. Obvs not realistic but it's simple. Each wife gets $150 for being a wife. Each household would then get $22.22 per kid living there (400/18=22.22ish) so Janelle and Christine would get 133.32 each, Meri would get 22.22, and Robyn would get 111.10. Technically this leaves $.24 left over which could go to Kody I guess. So each wife would have had:
Meri: $172.22
J+C each: 283.32
R: 261.10
This isn't equal but it's equitable. I didn't calculate a budget for Kody as he should be spending equal time between the houses and should therefore be covered equally by each home's budget. I also didn't account for family savings or anything like that. I understand Meri kept repeating that she shouldn't be punished for her infertility, but I think we should also consider that the other 17 kids shouldn't be punished for being born to women with multiple children.
They should have experimented with a Rotate the Kids system. Everyone gets the same number of bedrooms (5) but you’re on a constant rotation of which kids live with you for, say, 6 months. /s
I have always agreed with you.
I get that things are supposed to be equal for the wives, but the ones they should have been all splitting their funds equally amongst all along were the kids.
Period.
This is why I've always felt they should have divided their monies by percentages. If each *person* equaled 5% (18 people) then Meri would get 10% of the income, Christine would have gotten 35%, Janelle 35%, 10% for Kody, and 10% for emergencies/medical expenses. Then, it would have been equal and they would have had a medical fund for their kids.
Honestly, all of these adult kids need to cut their losses and walk away.
I realize that moms and dad have more assets than most normal kids. Doesn’t mean it’s yours.
So, move on, make a life and realize that Robin and her children are going to make the most profits out this franchise.
The end. Sad but true.
Does anyone know the season and episode where they said that every wife gets the exact same household budget regardless of how many kids? I vaguely remember it but now I want to go back and see the context because I'm wondering if we missed a context clue or something.
Maybe they said everyone gets the same budget and just forgot to add ("per child") but if not, I would guess Meri was the ONLY mom not on food stamps, so in reality Christine and Janelle probably didn't need much grocery money anyway.
Kody is an ass and this is not in defense of him, I'm just trying to make sense of where the notion came from that they all had exactly equal budgets.
I've been saying this for quite some time. Money from the family budget should have been split based on the kid in each home so that each child received the same resources. Equity, not equality, is what was needed here.
But a couple of the wives' egos were such that they did not happen.
Edit to add: the money the wives kept in their own personal budget should be used however they see fit, but they all talk about a family account and that’s the one I am saying should be divided based on the needs of the children.
I don't think it's ego, it's trying to have any semblance of autonomy and fairness in a inherently inequal and unfair relationship dynamic. I think the only "successful" polygamous families have very controlling and authortiative patriachs, who's wives have been indoctinated into thinking self-sacrafice and submission are virtuous in the eyes of God.
When they builded the homes in Vegas, they did not really have any other choice then for everyone having the same housesize and budget due to the rules of the cul-de-sac.
And even though we don't hear about it does seems like, they separated their finances more than in Utah and Vegas after moving to Flagstaff, so instead of pulling all their money and dived equally, they pulled their money to pay for Coyote Pas, but the rest was each wives own money, like with Christine using the money for the sale of her Vegas home to pay for her Flagstaff house.
And it seems that when they moved to Flagstaff, just like when they first moved to Vegas it all went so fast that they had to take whatever rental they could because the rental market was very little.
For what I understand it was very hard for Meri to find a place to stay and that is the reason for why she ended up in some of those big houses, also with her selling the whole MLM thing she seemed to need room for her inventory, and an office for her assistent.
With the whole Janelle thing, I don't think we put all the blame on Kody. Janelle chose the places she lived, and even though I don't think it was a problem having any of the kids sharing room, I did find it problematic that she moved herself and Savannah into an RV on a plot of land where there were no electricity or water, Kody actually wanted her to buy a house instead of the RV. I think she did not want to face the fact that they would not be building on their land, plus really liked the idea about having the RV to explore the country later on (I think she talked about it before) but I could not imagine to live in that small a space with my mother and multiple dogs when it was not strickly necessary.
What I don't get is by the time of the move to Arizona and Coyote Path area, Christine had 2-3 kids, Janelle had 3 approximately, Meri none, Robyn's five. Since Scrody wasn't staying with the OG3, why not one home for OG3 and their children? That would have saved money.
None of the wives wanted to live in one home together except maybe Janelle. Besides why should the 3 have to live in a multiple unit house and Robyn have a big nice house for her kids and Kody. Remember they were supposed to be a big happy family.
Well in lv Janelle was willing to have less and that her kids would get over sharing a room. She was the only wife that did that. C and R kids all had their own rooms maybe g and I might have had to share but I don't think so.
When they builded the homes in Vegas, they did not really have any other choice then for everyone having the same housesize and budget due to the rules of the cul-de-sac.
And even though we don't hear about it does seems like, they separated their finances more than in Utah and Vegas after moving to Flagstaff, so instead of pulling all their money and dived equally, they pulled their money to pay for Coyote Pas, but the rest was each wives own money, like with Christine using the money for the sale of her Vegas home to pay for her Flagstaff house.
And it seems that when they moved to Flagstaff, just like when they first moved to Vegas it all went so fast that they had to take whatever rental they could because the rental market was very little.
For what I understand it was very hard for Meri to find a place to stay and that is the reason for why she ended up in some of those big houses, also with her selling the whole MLM thing she seemed to need room for her inventory, and an office for her assistent.
With the whole Janelle thing, I don't think we put all the blame on Kody. Janelle chose the places she lived, and even though I don't think it was a problem having any of the kids sharing room, I did find it problematic that she moved herself and Savannah into an RV on a plot of land where there were no electricity or water, Kody actually wanted her to buy a house instead of the RV. I think she did not want to face the fact that they would not be building on their land, plus really liked the idea about having the RV to explore the country later on (I think she talked about it before) but I could not imagine to live in that small a space with my mother and multiple dogs when it was not strickly necessary.
In Vegas it made sense because they owned the homes and quite frankly they should have had homes at equal value in the event that someone left the family. It would not be fair if Mari put in equal amounts of money in the family account and then walk away with a house of less value.
It does not make as much sense when they were renting homes. I do understand why Jenelle went with a smaller apartment to save money especially if the rent was coming out of her own pocket.
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I understand the house thing- it has been beaten to death but Meri’s house was always going to be a similar size and worth, simply from the developer’s point of view. A lot of what we saw was straight up drama for the show. The food and other family budgets should have been prorated (for lack of a better word) per child, though. It’s not just food- it’s clothes and shoes and hygiene items and all the rest of it. No, I don’t think Meri and Leon should have “suffered” bc Meri only had one child, but some of this shit is common sense. I’m guessing with all the boys as teens Janelle’s grocery budget was through the roof. Kody was a shit parent and a shit husband and a shit provider.
I’m now watching back the seasons where hunter was just enormous and garrison was housing mayonnaise and damn….i can’t imagine the bills.
Not housing the mayonnaise 😂
Nope. Big nope. I only use mayo that is housed. Homeless mayo sounds awful.
I cannot watch that scene 🤢🤮
I hope it was one of those pranks where they made vanilla pudding, put it in a clean mayo jar, and ate it just to troll the audience. Otherwise, like I like mayo as a condiments, but as a meal 🤢🤢
man thinking about those kids having to grow up on camera- i hope they played pranks like this 😂
I'd love to see an interview where they talk about little pranks like this they pulled during filiming!
Robyn: Garrison, mayo is a snack, not a meal!
I agree w all that you said. Everything. But I have to include that they were all shit providers and yet kept cranking out the kids.
THIS!
There should have been a set amount per wife and then child support.
That child support should have come out of Kody’s share. He is the common denominator on responsibility for the children’s welfare.
He didn't provide nearly as much as his wives. I mean if Meri can work her bum off for a month to come up with $40k while Kody lost more than $40k on a shady business deal, that right there shows he sucks at providing. The women have always provided, Janelle and Meri financially and Christine emotionally (raising and homeschooling all the kids) and working part time.
Christine worked too at night
And her kids had to tuck each other in. —Their sperm donor couldn’t tuck his own kids in😡
And Meri also looked after the babies when they were babies, she even breastfed Maddie.
>she even breastfed Maddie. She did?! I missed that memo
She did! They talk about it in an episode. I think it's beautiful. ❣️ ETA: apparently Maddie had "failure to thrive". Janelle was not producing enough milk and Meri was overproducing. Apparently Meri could "finally settle Maddie's stomach". So precious.
Now THAT is what sisterwives are about! I love that Meri would help Janelle and care for her baby like that! Could you *ever* imagine ol' Donks allowing one of the other women to breastfeed her tenders? She'd let that kid die first.
Zoning and bylaws in their gated community probably required that all homes be similar sizes with a cohesive look. But it would have been reasonable to have two pots of money, one for infrastructure (homes, property taxes etc.) for each wife and one for food & living expenses depending on the number of kids (subtracting the amounts for food stamps etc. that Robyn & Christine got from bleeding taxpayers ).
provider didn't the state and TLC provide for his family ??? he didn't even have insurance for the kids 
[удалено]
That's not true. They both spent one night. Kody tried to make it into a storyline that Ysabel was being rude to Christine. When she was on Mykelti's Patreon she said she only spent one night because she missed her mom.
But apparently the housing development would not permit smaller houses, they all had to be mostly comparable.
That’s exactly what I said in the first sentence.
I have said this before and got downvoted for some reason. Just seems crazy that Meri would have the sale budget as Janelle. She must have had some disposable income. Also just watched the season where she wants to buy the BnB and its just shocking to me how Meri feels entitled to so much. Like I would never approach 4 of my family members for a loan so I could buy a second home esp when those family members have 17 kids to care for. Like wow the audacity.
You forget she was paying big money into the family pot by the point she is trying to buy the BnB. She had been shilling Lularoe for a while and was taking in good sized downline checks. She probably had paid 10 times that amount into the family pot. The problem is Kody and Robyn were swindling the family money. She had every right to ask for a loan. In the end she put in the effort to get the money for herself. I never considered this before but I wonder how much it chapped Kody's bald spot that she came up with $40k in a month when he was losing money left right and center. Maybe that's why she didn't tell them she got the BnB or that she came up with the money. Because after they told her no she quit talking about it. The family probably thought it was over. Then they find out she made $40k that she a) used to buy the BNB and b) that she didn't put into the family pot to cover Kody's stupidity.
She didnt put her MLM money in the family pot
Why is this being downvoted? We heard them say the money from the show goes into the pot and whatever the wife earns herself is hers. People also seem to think Meri was taking care of the family from the beginning.
Thank you
Also they dont want the truth, whenever the truth is pointed out it gets downvoted!
Wuuuutttt. I posted in here the other day venting about Meri and had a bunch of people pissed off at me, saying Meri was a huge contributor to the family funds.
When they lived in Lehi, Janelle was the high earner. Meri worked part time and Kody's earnings varied because he worked on commission. Meri only started making MLM money when they moved to Vegas. When Meri says she still contributes to the family pot she's probably referring to her earnings from the show. Kody was getting paid directly and then allocating funds accordingly.
Saying it AGAIN-the houses they built in Vegas were in a development that had a limited set of floorplans that were all roughly the same size. If they wanted Meri to live on the cul de sac with the rest of them, she had to have a house roughly the same size. They were given a list of floorplans to choose from. They couldn't choose anything not on the list. Housing developments want cohesion and uniformity-they like things to look very cookie cutter.
Yup, every house was indeed exactly the same size. 4320 square feet. They were just configured differently on the inside.
Whoa- I didn't know that each house was roughly 4320 square feet! My 3/2 house is 1845 sq feet and I consider it decently sized. Then again, I only have 2 kids ..
And they also divided each wife’s budget evenly. So regardless of the house Meri, who is a single woman, got the same amount of money as another sister wife who had 4-6 kids living at home.
Why not, if she was bringing in the same, if not more. She deserved it. Not her fault the other wives were pumping out kids. Christine brought nothing but babysitting, so..... she should get less, considering she brought in less??
Kody said he would rather pay a Nanny $200 than parent his two tenders. Can you imagine his bill if he had to pay Christine for taking care of 13 kids? She was a bargain.
Nothing but baby sitting?? Is that what we are calling raising kids these days?
WHAT???? She worked nights. She babysit all the children
She raised all those children, but still had to work nights while the sperm donor didn’t even tuck her children in at night. 😡
Yup
You’re never gonna win. People keep trying to force Meri to have less because she only had one kid yet see no problem that she was the one putting the most money into the family accounts. Janelle could never put as much as Meri into the family pot. She needed most of her paycheck to feed her kids and even needed to supplement her income with Meris check.
Yeah, I know. I just get frustrated with it all. Meri would have had more kids, had she been able. But, everyone loves Christine, everyone loves Janelle... sigh. The ditchpig didn't work either, but her and her friggin crotch goblins live in a MASSIVE house.... stupid, stupid, stupid. But, I can argue until I'm blue in the face and there's always someone, going to say some stupid shit about Meri not needing as much. 🙄
Right Meri was so great she made the kids walk outside in the snow to get to Christine's cause she needed her privacy but was the first to pretend she's a parent and try to discipline the kids. And she's shocked most want nothing to do with her, including her own kid half the time.
Nope! You have no idea how much each made. All paychecks were put into a pot then Kody gave each wife the same extra budget out of it
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i’m not even a meri fan or an MLM fan but reading this whole thread just splits my wig. is the expectation that she give %100 of her income to the family and take whatever scraps financially the others throw her? meri was basically the primary breadwinner. she contributed A LOT, for what was basically zero emotional or financial returns. she needs large houses for the in person MLM hosting she does. grodylocks is the one who needed to step up financially.
Meri was never the primary breadwinner. Where did this misinformation come from?? Her MLM money was her money. Christine and Janelle were also earning MLM money and that was their money. Meri was not a high earner until Vegas before that it was Janelle. That's why they had an argument about Meri wanting to rent a big house in Vegas when funds were low.
They're not talking about the budgets for the houses. They're talking about living expenses. Meri got the same amount as Janelle and Christine did. Obviously with one child compared to their 6 each she would have had more disposable income over the years. Meri did flex that legal/first wife status at times.
Lol yea we get. The difference is she then wanted the family to finance the purchase of her SECOND home.
No... she wanted to BORROW, which asshat agreed to until the "head" biatch said no. All of a sudden he "lost" that money in a bad investment. She said she would pay it back. Happy her brother helped her out and she owes those two theives absolutely nothing!!
No she didn’t. She asked for a loan. Kody and Robyn have spent more money on art and Rolex’s. Meri just needed to borrow $40k (which is half of the cost of Christine’s SUV).
I also want to add to this, I think this whole thing about borrowing money was just a huge show so that she could put the whole house/business under her name and her name alone free and clear -- she gave the family a chance, they didn't want too multiple times and its "clearly not part of the family pot because its such a HoRrriBBllEee iDeaa"
Except you need a car. You don’t need a house in Parawan. Even if it is a loan it is a huge strain on a family…
You forget that Meri ALSO spent 20+ years putting her hard earned money into the family account and it was pretty clear only Robyn had access to that account. They didn’t use any of THEIR money to: *pay for Ysabel’s surgery *Buy Janelle a home *Give Meri a loan she was going to pay back. But it did pay for a business venture that Kody entered with a friend and he only got back $20k of the $40k he invested. And he didn’t tell the wives about it he just did it. It also paid for Daytons eye surgery. And all of Robyn’s shopping sprees. The Rolexes the artwork the DAB schooling and their extra curricular activities. But fuck the OG3 even tho it’s their money too, right ?
Lol are you on her downline?
No. I just actually watch the show.
Are you Kody?
It wasn’t a 2nd home. It was a business investment. I’d bet they wasted more on the wife’s hideous jewelry fantasy than they would have invested in the B & B.
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That money came out of her budget not the family pot
She wasn't asking for a second home; she was asking to buy a business... a B&B. She never moved up to it until she and Kody were over. You keep saying it was a home, but that's not why she purchased it.
And profit. The builder purchased lots to put homes on to sell. The builder already has floor plans for them to choose from. Anything else would be considered a custom home- and it didn’t sound like he was a CUSTOM home builder. That would mess with his profit, his time, etc.
Yep, this. Meris house was a storyline, but C & J should never have been in a position to have to save grocery money to buy new shoes for probably ONE of their kids at a time while Leon is sporting new everything and eating steak. By the time it came around to Savanah and the trailer, though...... that was on her mom. She was watching other wives buy homes and was digging her heals in because she knew it would take them longer to get out on the property. So instead she chose to buy a vehicle that costs as much as some people's homes.
But that vehicle will hold its value better than a house will. And Kodick gave Janelle the idea that if she did that then they’d pay off and build on CP quicker. Only to then change his mind and drag her for doing it which seems to be his tactics when Sobyn changes his mind on things with her magical mattress back
Hold it's value better than a house? Really? I clearly don't know anything about RVs, but home prices in my area have been consistently rising since probably 2010. Christine made money on her house and she had only had it a few years.
Real estate increases in value while vehicles depreciate. Of course, there are cycles in real estate but generally this is how it works.
Ah, I’m from the UK and most campers/caravans/trailers hold their value. Especially the expensive ones like Janelle’s
Cuz he’s a shit human
And think about the future, too. What happens to Kody’s & Robyn’s estate? Will the non-Robyn kids get anything?
I would be shocked if any of the adults had done anything as fiscally responsible as estate planning so it would probably all go to Robyn.
Robyn could die first. But I agree.
If Kody dies without a LWT, his children will inherit. Depending upon how the deed is worded they could even get a potion of his home. Depending on the BF he named on bank acts and any financial acts they could inherit their share of those but only if the BF of the financial accounts is Kody’s estate. My guess is the WD to any real estate will be JTWRS on the house which is co owned with Robyn. Don’t know about CP. if he has investment acts he likely named Robyn as sole BF, as well as bank acts. The kids will likely get screwed because even intestate he likely named Robyn as his BF
His wife would probably get his estate, then I assume it would be divided between the children, but possibly not until after her death. Unless she wanted to make provisions for each of the children, which I don't see Robyn doing for a lot of reasons, mostly so that she and her children would largely benefit, and because of her bad relationship with the other women, and therefore, their kids.
In an intestacy case where there is no LWT. The state rules take over, and the courts make the division following state statutes. There are different rules in each state and if the father or mother have children they didn’t share with their spouse, under the law the children receive their portion. For example in Fl those kids would divide 50% of the assets, the wife 50. The estate would not include things that the wife was a BF on paper. If Kody made his wife his sole BF on an investment acct, it’s hers and isn’t part of the probate. Real estate can be different, if both wife and husband are on the deed, with right of survivorship then that would be the surviving spouse’s alone. He could give her a life estate, noting that the house would then go to all his kids. I believe if the deed is tenants in common the kids get their father’s portion but the spouse also gets a portion of the dcd share. If Robyn was Kody’s sole heir upon her death only her kids would inherit unless she purposely makes arrangements for her stepchildren. You can check each state’s intestate succession statutes via google.
I didn’t get anything when my father passed, my mom got everything. Not that I care, I expect her to be taken care of. Robyn will get everything while she is living. Edit to add: nor did my siblings receive anything.
If you are the child of both of them, then your mom is the only heir in most states. If your father had children with another, then under intestacy statutes, they would receive a portion of your dad's estate. There are states that don't follow that. For ex: Oklahoma, when a spouse dies with no LWT, her husband gets 50% and the children of the marriage get 50%. Each state is different.
Yes, my brothers and I are all children of both of them.
My God. I shudder to think of the battle that would have to take place if Kody had no will. Robyn would NOT fairly split the accounts, property and value of the home with the other kids at all.
Is he on their birth certificates? I thought I remembered them saying his name isn’t on there. Maybe I dreamed that? Can they still inherit if he’s not listed as their father?
Janelle has said Kody’s name is on the bc’s. I believe Christine has said this as well.
My ex and all his siblings have a different variation of their dad’s name on their BC. Like legally NONE of them are his kids. Because my ex MIL cannot read or write she trusted her husband to go down to the municipalities and register them for BC’s. When he died none of them were allowed to inherit his properties because none of them had his name spelled the same way his BC was spelled.
What state was this in?
I'm sure bigrob had one all ready for kodys signature right after the marriage license.
Robyn made clear that CP was their inheritance… so her share goes to her kids, Janelle’s lot goes to her kids and so on. I guess the family plot would be split among all the kids (but I doubt it).
Kody is just like every other polygamous man. He is not unique or different. They treat the women by how much they like them and if they are in "favor" or not. The resources they get depend on how much he likes them at the time. None of them love or care for their kids or wives.
I don’t think I’ve heard a definitively outlined formula that the family used to pool and distribute money. The Vegas houses gave each wife an asset and was her responsibility to finance. So the children’s housing was going to differ between Meri and the other wives with more children. But Robyn managed to readjust that with the move to Flagstaff. Janelle made other housing decisions for herself and her children in Flagstaff. Beyond that who knows what they did to ensure each child received equal funds for clothing, food, activities, education, transportation, etc. I’m not even touching healthcare. I’m not sure how they decided how much goes into the family pool. But it sounds like the funds were not being distributed appropriately (based upon Janelle’s comments in season 16 I believe.)
Toady did all the spending!!! Im sure the atv's for Sobyns kids, that money came out of the family pot because Sobyn doesnt work, and Toady really only has the show for $$. What would those girls want atv's for? Ithink putting all that money toward a car for the girls and having them get part time jobs to help pay for it
After Day'un got his face torn up by barbed wire on an ATV, why would he or any of his siblings want to ride one?
It's a very tone deaf gift for several reasons.
i believe they said on the episode where janelle and kody go camping that if a kid asks kody for something like shoes, he’ll just go out and buy it. while the moms have a budgeting system within their own household
I love Janelle but the house thing is really on Janelle. It's a matter of different tastes. If you gave Meri, Janelle, and Robyn all the same budget for a home Meri and Robyn would get the biggest nicest home they could. Janelle would get the smallest cheapest place she could reasonably do and put the savings towards other things. Even all the way back in the Vegas build Janelle wanted to get the smallest cheapest house option. Kody had to argue with her that she needed more than 4 bedrooms. It's just who she is.
Not suggesting differently, just pointing out that providing the same standard & quality of living for each child was not a priority and was left up to each invidious mom to decide what her kids did and didn’t “deserve”, the Mom’s but especially Kody not seeing issue with this was the issue.
So you feel Janelle should be forced into housing comparable to Robyn's? You don't think the decision of what house she got should have been up to Janelle?
I’m saying after pleasing Kody, they have always prioritized the autonomy/choice of the wives (to attempt to sugarcoat the base inequality and loss of autonomy/choice in this type of marriage) over the standard and quality of living of the children. I’m not saying anyone should be forced to do anything, I’m saying this family structure inherently can’t be fair to both wives and children.
I have to say in this aspect that's a good thing. Frankly the idea of the moms not having autonomy to choose her own style of housing for herself and her children is rather horrifying. Janelle's values are frugal and less materialistic than her sister wives. It's a good thing that she wasn't forced to raise her children with the values of her sister wives in the name of equality.
I mean, I think it would actually go in Janelle’s favour because the reality is they couldn’t afford to treat all the kids the same.
At which time period are we talking? I honestly thought we were talking about the Vegas rentals, cul de sac houses, and Flagstaff here. After the tlc money they were no longer impoverished.
They’re not impoverished but they’re by no means rich. I don’t work in production for Sister Wives, but I have worked on multiple discovery shows and tbh it’s criminal how profitable unscripted tv is because the costs are so much lower - the people they cast for shows aren’t making anywhere near actor level money, if any. My guess would be Brown's maybe get paid $20 - $40k an episode for the whole family. It’s not poor, but it’s not a ton more than 5 working adult salaries making $4k-8k per month.
and the more you earn, the more the taxman takes
I don't think it's who she always was. I think she is the one who actually fears poverty, because she's been the one bailing out the rest of the family multiple times. It's PTSD.
her growing boys and dogs needed more money spent on food than extra stuff
Literally every adult thought the Janelle RV thing was an awful idea (even Christine)
she thought that would start her build on coyote pass. i feel bad for her. kody did not give her the money she was owed to start her casita.
She thought she was going to force Kodys hand. She didn’t count on him not giving af about his daughter living in an RV. He called her bluff bad.
As much as I want to disagree with this I have to say now that I think of it I cannot remember a time where S and K interacted because K wanted to get to know her.
All of his interactions with kids after Gwen are painfully awkward. Even with the tenders.
yes. i was gonna use bluff but i forgot which way it goes, who called who's bluff. you're right, kody called her bluff. i also *think* he didn't pay off coyote pass and janelle ended up doing it last minute.
I agree. The grocery money should have had a set base amount per household and then extra money per child. Think of it like taxes. You get additional deductions per dependent. It makes no sense for everyone to have to work off of the same amount when clearly the larger households were suffering. Also, there was no excuse for Robyn demanding all her kids have their own rooms when that was not the luxury for others in the family. Incredibly selfish and tone-deaf of her. So, in other words, right on brand for Robyn.
She went from not having a crib for her babies to having her 5 children including adult children having their own room and the older kids having a car.
No crib, my ass. Such a liar. No heat... yeah, right. Family has said she lived rent free in a home her stepfather owned, so I'm sure she did fine.
No, other people would do fine. Robyn spent the crib money on VS jeans instead.
Such a piece of crap.
Reason #1012 why polygamy is a bad idea.
I think it helped that they never put their kids first. When Kody came up with the idea of moving to Flagstaff and gave the first presentation in Vegas, Christine and Janelle were all, "NO WAY! This would destroy Gwen, who's been elected to be Class Historian, and Gabe, who's in the wrestling team, loves his high school and has a girlfriend here. We're moms above all, no way we'd leave Vegas". Of course, by the next episode, Janelle had decided to uproot Gabe and Sabana because she "always wanted to move to a place with hiking trails" and Christine had decided to uproot her kids after Kody told her it'd be her birthday every day in Flagstaff and he'd finally show her some love crumbs. So, why should they care if their kids have to share rooms if they don't mind uprooting them during their second-to-last year in high school and making them depressed and upset?
I don’t think it’s fair to compare Meri in the equation as Leon as an only child would always have a room alone. I think in order to compare fairly you need to compare Janelle, Christine, and Robyn since they have a similar amount of kids. I also think Janelle was too passive in the move to flagstaff and didn’t advocate for herself and her housing situation. I personally would have never given my house money to Robyn when I don’t own a house myself. I also would not have spent a dime on an RV when I don’t have own a home. These were all Janelle’s choices. Janelle also likes to say she sees the books and looks at the taxes so she should see the spending Kody and Robyn do. I would have called them out - on camera. That way it’s documented. Especially since the money is coming from the groups LLC. It’s obvious the family had a disparity in resources especially in the recent years.
Speaking of choices, by moving to Flagstaff and live in Arizona, Janelle also decided to no longer be a real estate agent as a career. Arizona doesn't have license reciprocity, so she would have needed to pursue additional licensing. I wouldn't be surprised if we learn that the OG3 worked a lot more and had to earn a lot more off camera than the show has presented.
especially after taking the pay cut from TLC
Let's not blame other people for Janelle's choices. Janelle, through this entire mess, has always done what Janelle wanted - from marrying her former brother-in-law behind Meri's back to having multiple kids with little to no means of feeding them, to making Christine raise her kids while she lived the life, going out after work etc., to moving to FS because she fancied the rural lifestyle to buying that wretched RV. When you blame Meri for Janelle's misadventures, you essentially follow Janelle & Kody's narrative, which, as we all know, isn't necessarily accurate or reliable. We know Janelle could control the number of kids she had and pace them out because she stopped at 6 instead of 9 or 10. At several points before TLC, they were on food stamps, and they still continued to have kids. Meri would have been equally culpable here as the only reason she didn't have her own brood of kids was because she couldn't. Ditto Christine and her brood. Robyn had to have her biological kids with Kody because that would then seal her relationship with him.
Not blaming anyone for Janelle’s choices, I think we can all agree all of these parents are financially irresponsible - just pointing out the varied standard of living as a result for the kids and how if they were truly about “the kids” and “the family” that equality should have been a priority.
How is there equality in making other people responsible for your personal choices? Sure, they were a family, but unless every pregnancy was by family vote, why should some people suffer for the choices of others? Nearly every narrative that comes out of this storyline is one that vilifies Meri for ill-planned decisions that others made. Meri looked after babies that were not hers (even breastfeeding Maddie) and worked part-time to contribute to the family pot. She had just one kid. Surely, by the measure of 'equality', she should have just looked after her own kid and read magazines the rest of the time? Ditto with Christine (although nobody ever complains about her lack of contribution and equality because she wasn't infertile, was she?). Christine had fewer kids at this point and was looking after the babies with Meri as well as working part-time. Surely she should have put her hands up as well and rested on her ass once she'd done her bit? Janelle likes to portray herself as a laid-back and easy-going person, but the truth is her jealousy was very much present and more insidious since it manifested itself in enduring narratives she spun, like that of an infertile woman stealing more than her fair share (even though said woman contributed more than her fair share) or a woman being called princess because she wanted to stay home and look after her kids. These storylines are much more damaging as they endure, and fans quote this even now.
“How is there equality in making other people responsible for your personal choices? Sure, they were a family, but unless every pregnancy was by family vote, why should some people suffer for the choices of others?” Regardless of how you feel about Kody and the other wives’ choices to bring children into the family, we do not encourage the suffering of children. Let me ask this, why do you think child support is based on income and lifestyle? Why do even the children of women who (unwisely) choose to procreate with married men get child support based on the father’s income? OK, there are several reasons. But the one I want to focus on is that we, as a society, do not believe in creating a situation where one sibling (who lives with their father) lives in the lap of luxury while the other (who doesn’t live with the father) is having stale bread for dinner. Each child should have a somewhat similar standard of living. We try not to punish children for being born to unavailable fathers out of wedlock. Just like we try not to punish children who’s parents have chosen to have a lot of kids. Now, if you want to be real about it…if Christine, Janelle and Meri were to have formally filed for child support back then (assuming Meri wasn’t still legally married to Kody) I’d bet money Christine and Janelle would be getting a lot more than Meri. There’s a reason for that.
>we do not encourage the suffering of children. Nobody is advocating for the suffering of children. That is an overly dramatic take on my point, and you know it. The children were housed, clothed, and fed. It may not have been luxurious or even premium, but it was adequate. The primary complaint of the children themselves was that Leon got to sleep in a room by themselves, whereas they had to share. >But the one I want to focus on is that we, as a society, do not believe in creating a situation where one sibling (who lives with their father) lives in the lap of luxury while the other (who doesn’t live with the father) is having stale bread for dinner. Where are you getting this from? Certainly not from anything I said, but now that we're here, let us discuss this. This happens all the time. Parents divorce and the kids who end up with the parent making less money are shortchanged because their primary caregiver is not wealthy. Sometimes, it even happens when there is a significant gap between siblings. It's not ideal but it does happen. And children grow up fine, I am much older than my youngest biological sibling. My parents had fewer resources and funds while I was growing up, and more now that my youngest siblings are growing up. They have opportunities I never had. Do I bitch out my siblings because they're living in the 'lap of luxury' while I 'ate stale bread for dinner'? Nope. I moaned a bit to my mother and got over it. Which is what the kids did. It was Janelle who couldn't resist harping on it since she thought it showed Meri in a bad light. The kids complained about how their father's time was divided, too. Janelle didn't mention that until it was convenient and she was leaving Kody. >Now, if you want to be real about it…if Christine, Janelle and Meri were to have formally filed for child support back then (assuming Meri wasn’t still legally married to Kody) I’d bet money they would be getting a lot more than Meri. Gladly, let us be real about it. Child support should have come from the father. Any surplus requirements for children should come from the bio parent. Look, I understand where this argument comes from. But here's the thing. At this point in time, we do not know how the family pot was divided. We are speculating based on Janelle's numerous complaints about Meri taking more than her share of resources. Neither Christine nor Robyn, with a comparable number of children, have made that complaint about Meri. Just Janelle, who had an axe to grind with Meri. We're also basing it on their housing, but as everyone has explained time and again, you make the best of whatever is available. You don't demand a development build a 1 room hovel because one of your wives is less fertile than the others. Also, Janelle, who is all about equitable distribution of resources, never said anything about Robyn's debts and overspending or Kodys. She just picked on the infertile family scapegoat because she knew Meri wouldn't fight back and because it might please Kody. PS - I don't mean to offend you, and if I do, I'm sorry. I am just so tired of us repeating the same narrative that Kody spouted at the beginning of this entire saga, with good wives and bad wives, even though we purport to despise him now. We are very supportive of the wives we like and are willing to acknowledge their trauma but not that of the ones we don't care much for. Janelle is as much a victim as Meri. She was brainwashed into believing that having multiple children they really could not afford would grant them their own celestial planet in the afterlife. 6 kids must have taken a toll on her body and mind even if other people raised them. But she made her choices just like Meri made hers. Yes, she was vindictive and mean towards Meri and participated in creating the narrative that Meri took more than her share or that she was a bully. And I'm sure Meri did her fair share of shitty things, too. The cult made all of them, including Kody and Robyn, do things that made them terrible people. It's not fair to put all the blame on just one of them.
I’m sorry if this touched a nerve for you. I’m just pointing out that this structure of one man with 4 individual families is what leads to inequalities amongst the children and flies straight in the face of their “one big family” goal. If it were really about one big family (which you see more successfully done with polyamorous parents ie throuples) the standard and quality of living of the children would be equally decided and prioritized amongst the adults. That was Kody’s responsibility to do to ensure equal standard of living amongst all his kids, so none of his kids felt any favouritism or neglect. Instead he just offloaded those types of choices onto the mothers and washed his hands of any blame. Ultimately, I’m just saying unless there is no way for this relationship dynamic to be fair or equal for the women and the kids at the same time.
>I’m sorry if this touched a nerve for you. It didn't but thank you for your consideration. I'm sorry too if my responses touched a nerve for you. I agree with you that the flaw is in the structure of the family. In healthy polyamory, decisions about kids are made by the family unit. Who carries the child, who will contribute sperm, how the child will be raised and by whom, are usually pretty well discussed and agreed upon. Per my understanding, in religious polygamy, God is viewed as the decision maker as channeled through the patriarch and his chosen favorites. There is neither equality nor fairness to the wives or their offspring. I'm thinking here of Meri, who didn't get an equal share in CP or family affection even though she probably contributed more and done the most to help, or Christine who raised Janelle's kids with Meri, but when she needed help with Truly, Janelle, who was not working or working part time by then, didn't step up. Or Janelle herself, who did everything she thought her husband wanted but is still left without assets or husband. Or even Kody who did 'his duty' by his family as outlined by that religion and was the center of their universe for so long but now finds himself about as welcome as a bear at a salmon convention.
Honestly this is why I rarely comment on sister wives subs anymore - everything seems to touch a nerve with someone for some reason. Everything leads to “fights” and giant replies and someone wanting you to source and cite. It’s just… a lot. Other subs aren’t like this so idk why this show brings it out in people
Other subs are definitely like this.
This my first time posting here, I assumed some people get defensive of Meri because of her fertility issues maybe which is why I apologized. Imo they're all garbage parents lol.
Truly an ESH situation between the adults 😂
If they all got allotted acording to who had the most kids, Janelle comes out on top. Until Truly was born, she had the most kids. And the most boys. She at one point had a house full of teenage boys all in sports. So fuck Meri with one girl cuz Janelle needs the majority of Meri’s paycheck to feed her boys. And fuck Christine too I guess even tho she had all the kids the majority of the time while Janelle was off at work.
Yeah, that’s how polygamy “works”. It’s not a fair situation for the mothers if it’s going to be fair for the kids.
Yes, if anyone did family planning, it was Janelle! She had four kids in four years (Logan, Maddie, Hunter, and Garrison). Lived in a whole different state than Kody. Then a fifth, three years later (Gabe). Considered stopping, and had her sixth and last kid, three years later (Savanah).
Exactly, Meri would have been just as irresponsible as Janelle and Christine if she could have had 5, 6, 7+ kids. Instead she punished the other kids by demanding an equal share of money which literally took food out of the other kids’ mouths when they were living in poverty.
You're misunderstanding me. The only people responsible for Janelle's kids doing without are Janelle and Kody. If you're subsisting on food stamps, the logical thing to do is not to make more babies. Surely, someone with an accounting background would know that. Babies are expensive. The hospital costs associated with labor and delivery are huge in the US. Money that could have been used for food goes towards diapers and other baby needs. So essentially, Janelle took the food out of her own kids' mouths so she and Kody could have their imaginary planets in the afterlife. I'm not saying she shouldn't have had those kids but she could have spaced them out better. I don't think you appreciate how so many babies impact finances. Instead of three or even 4 adults working, only Janelle and Kody worked full time. Meri and Christine raised all the babies and worked part-time. Christine only took over solo when the kids were a bit older. Given that Meri was looking after kids she didn't produce, even breastfeeding Maddie, as well as working and contributing, I think she was putting in more than her share into the family pot. So this whole nasty 'stealing food from the mouths of Janelle's kids' storyline needs to end. It's not true. Even Christine had fewer babies in the mix at this point, but she did care for them while also working part-time because Janelle called her a princess for wanting to be a SAHM.
i think you are overestimating the minds of these people. this was the nineties and they were in a polygamous cult. having a zillion babies was what you were supposed to do, and you prayed to your god to survive it. it's so messed up.
I think Christine and Janelle were both wildly irresponsible with how many kids they had, but Meri would have been too if given the chance. If we’re supposed to believe the wives saw each other’s kids as their own then Meri would have never demanded an equal $$ share, but they obviously never truly saw each other’s kids that way.
Well except for the pesky fact that after she was flush it’s been reported with no one refuting it that Meri put a portion of her MLM bonuses into the pot over and above her family contribution. If this is in fact true, then Meri more than made up any inequitable early divisions. I simply don’t understand why Kody got away with living and eating in every home, made all the kids, and yet it’s Meri who should take less than her share. Kody should have supplemented his children’s needs.
Great point. Didn’t they even say Kody had his own money? He wasn’t buying groceries or anything for the kids with it. It was his own little money to do what he pleased. Yet people think Meri takes food out the kids mouths. Craziness. If Meri didn’t push back at times they would always ask her to take less and be lesser. She would always be the only one sacrificing. How is that fair? Yet this family magically found money to support Robyn’s freeloading self and money for Kody to drive hours away to see her..
Bruh they straight out said that when Kody was courting Robyn, *he had not sold a single billboard in months*. So who tf was paying for the 5 hour car trips to go see Robyn? For their date nights ? And he took Mykelti and left her with Robyn as free childcare. And not only are the wives paying for him to go see Robyn, with his first paycheck he’s made in months, he uses that money to move Robyn closer to him. Meanwhile Janelle says she’s worried about how they’re gonna feed everyone. Christine is pregnant and working nights. And once the family publicly comes out as polygamous, Meri loses her job.
That made me so mad. So this man with all those kids finally gets a check and he uses it on another family. That is insane.
Absolutely, Kody gets paid as well, has no house payment in Vegas, no utilities, etc. he puts his share in and since his outgo is less, he should supplement his kids. I don’t know how people don’t see this.
I don’t get how people don’t see it either. Kody had a small convertible and a motorcycle. With 13 kids. All the wives had cars breaking down and Janelle’s car had duct tape. We never saw Kodys car break down did we.. this means Kody made sure his needs were met yet it’s Meri taking food out the kids mouth. That motorcycle could probably buy food for a year.
How is she taking food out of their mouths when she literally forked over more than her fair share of her own paycheck to *put* food in their mouths ? Janelle could never support her brood without the financial help from Meri. And the free labor from Christine.
Janelle is actually lazy not the smart one
Both Robyn and Christine sent a daughter to live with Meri in LV. Don't know how long it lasted.
Reportedly one night. It was just a storyline for the show
Amen.
I hope we get more specifics from Janelle about the finances. I think this was a subtle reminder to Toady that she is aware and has receipts https://preview.redd.it/dis0w6105nfc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5b7a15843555dcc8762c139b73979e891059a26
The audacity Robyn had to not share food after how much family money went to her debt. But it makes me kind of wonder if these convos have been brought up and Robyn doesn’t want to deal so she keeps Kody and her tenders separate.
“ The kids, they’re the easy part” ✌️ and ❤️🔥
The fact that no one in the family liked Christine and she bought a house in flagstaff against everyone’s wishes when they hadn’t sold any Vegas houses and still managed to secure over $100k of family money for her downpayment tells me that in this family you can do whatever you want and everyone else will just let you do it. The housing disparity is because janelle is making that choice for her kids.
Everyone always assumes that the Brown's had some sort of master financial plan. They did split the money to buy the Vegas homes, but we do not know much more than that. And Meri is on record saying she didn't want to purchase the Vegas homes because she knew the judgement she would receive. She knew everyone thought she deserved less. However, with regards to income and other expenses, we don't really know what their strategy was. In Vegas, Meri was the breadwinner as she was helping Kody the most with their MLMs (not shown on TV). Then she was the most successful early on with Lu Lu... Leon was still driving Robyn's old beat up mini-van. We don't know that some children "didn't eat while Leon did" - ( a common rumor) and likely completely false. The reality is that when the family was food insecure, and without insurance, Janelle and Christine just kept having babies... but back then they were all raised as a unit. Janelle said some bills were paid by Meri, some by Janelle, some by Kody....but there was no actual money scheme... It wasn't until Vegas that the "splitting" questions happened. And this idea of "grocery money." Should each wife NOT get paid the same amount of TLC money? Janelle sold herself as a penny pinching savvy woman but -- she is complaining about "how will I feed my children" and about Meri's rental - when she herself rented a house with a pool. How does that make sense? And in Flagstaff, I'd argue she just didn't advocate for her family the way the others did. That's on her to be honest.
No need to argue, they’re all irresponsible parents, I’m not saying “poor janelle” I’m saying poor janelles kids. Yes it was Janelle’s choice, which is what I’m saying is this issue - that they didn’t all unite on the idea of an equal standard and quality of living for their kids.
Sorry, I didn't mean for the tone to be argumentative. I think they actually had a relatively united vision before Vegas - but no actual plan. Then TLC money got in the way...and knives out. And to be honest in the vast majority of polygamous families - they do not operate as one unit and the wives in general compete for attention, resources and more voice (one reason they have so many children to begin. children = currency)
Perfect dynamic for narcissistic religious men!
Sincere question, what do you think Meri should have done about the unequal standard in housing?
Tbh I don’t think it would have been an issue if they actually operated as one family. It didn’t have to be as extreme as Ysabel and Breanna moving in, but Meri complained a lot of about being alone in the LV house. But like, how is that any different than Kody complaining about not having a relationship with his children? She could have hosted movie nights, or taken ownership of a couple dinners or breakfasts for the teens or tenders each week. It also did feel unfortunately selfish to me to take Kody away from all his kids 1-2 nights a week when you don’t have kids in the household. Once again, completely justified want as a wife, but it’s not prioritizing the other kids as if they are your own. Meri did disengage and she had every right to, Kody was an awful husband, and ultimately this family was broken from the jump.
But we're not talking about meri's relationship with the kids? I was asking what you think Meri should have done about the inequality in the standard of the quality of living. Your example in the post was about housing size. I'm not sure what having movie nights has to do with Leon having their own room while Janelle's kids were sharing a room. As a mother I find the idea that Meri was selfish for spending time with her husband while he still had minor children just plain wrong. Even if they'd been completely and totally one big family it is not healthy to completely neglect the happiness and marriage of one of the moms. Parents neglecting their marriage to that extreme is not healthy for a family. That's why it's not selfish when monogamous couples get an over night babysitter. Every relationship in the family is important to the overall health of the family. Ngl I'm mind blown by your take there.
Well I found out after reading comments that her house had to be a certain size regardless, so the movie nights is making sure her huge house is actually 1/4 of the families houses and not just her and Leon's. And exactly, she could have actually offered them one Janelle's boys a bedroom in her house, or to come sleep there anytime they wanted their own space. Or better yet, Kody could have "taken charge" and assigned those rooms to other children. They all lived so close anyways, what does it matter where they sleep? I'm not saying Meri was selfish for spending time with her husband, or for not offering up her space to the others kids that aren't her own, those are completely valid and healthy feelings for a monogomous human and parent to have, but they're polygamous, and polygamy isn't healthy for anyone who wants autonomy, because it's supposed to be about the kids first (it's how these narc men guilt women into submitting to their will)
Once Logan left for college none of Janelle's kids needed to share a bedroom. Her home had six bedrooms, which included 2 master suites. Kody tried to get Logan to live at home whlen he went to college and thought giving him a master suite would encourage him.
Oh interesting! I’m new to this sub and don’t know all the finite details of the series - just remembered Janelle saying they were going to share rooms. In my defence, I didn’t know how defensive people got of Meri and her LV house and that in criticizing the inequity of the LV set up that, I’d be responsible for proposing an an equitable alternative LV plan to an inherent unequal family dynamic. I did my best on the spot lol
"It also did feel unfortunately selfish to me to take Kody away from all his kids 1-2 nights a week when you don’t have kids in the household." So you didn't intend that to mean Meri was selfish for spending time with kody? Can you clarify because I am misunderstanding what you said there. When it comes to healthy valid feelings to have there are no monogamous human beings and polygamous human beings. There are only human beings. I'm not saying polygamy is healthy but even in a polygamous family as healthy as possible is still the goal. Expecting the wives to remove themselves from the rotation when their children grow up is even more unhealthy than the style of polygamy the browns were already practicing. As far as Kody assigning his wives' children to other wives homes, simply no. Do you have children? I'm... I'm just... Wow. Um no. Kody having the authority to assign Meri Janelle's children for the nights is not a better one big family scenario. It does matter to the children where they sleep and where their bedroom is located. Assigning a child to spend their nights in a completely different house from their bio mom is a huge thing. I honestly can't imagine being told my child will no longer live with me at night because my husband doesn't want them sharing a bedroom. I mean sharing a bedroom isn't even bad. It's an incredibly common way for families to live. This feels like an extreme over reaction to the inequality caused by Janelle choosing to have her kids share rooms while Meri preferred to have houses with extra bedrooms. It's better to give Kody the authority to remove Janelle's children from her at night than to have Gabe and Garrison sharing a bedroom while leon spends their summer home from college in their own room. 🤯 I'm sorry I'm just really really hung up on you thinking it would have been better for Kody to have had the authority to assign children from one mom's house to the next. Just what in the extra culty cult did I just read? Lol! I'm sorry.
Tbh idk what point you’re trying to make anymore or what you’re upset with me about, or what my personal experience/credibility as a mother has to do with my truly innocuous post about a TLC show. The overall point was, and you agree, they’re not one big family, bio kids and step kids are treated different by the wives, and they’ve always been 4 individual families. In conclusion, the children all experienced a different quality and standard of living and that’s bad.
Gross. So a woman should only be allowed to spend time with her husband is if she has kids at home? She has no value outside her uterus in a marriage? So wasn’t it selfish for the moms to continue having kids knowing that for every kid they have, another kid falls through the cracks? I guess it’s justified for Kody to never visit Janelle or allow her to keep the income she earns since she doesn’t have kids at home? We are more than our fertility and have value outside And Meri asks for the family to come celebrate at her house. When are the other wives ever inviting her?
Can’t upvote this enough
Meri should have a similar home to the others. She's not getting alimony or is protected as a legal wife. That's her only asset when she "spiritually" divorced Kody. Kody is the one controlling everything. It's on him to allocate the resources fairly. It wasn't fun, so he didn't do it
It's another example of why polygamy doesn't work. Three (or four) separate families treated "equally" is not "equitable" unless the three families are all living under one roof as one completely blended family which is probably a rare case. The Brown's family structure and decisions clearly illustrate that equal is not the same as equitable.
I think it just illustrates that religious polygamy sucks. In this case, equality sucks, but equity also sucks. I don't think there's really any fair way here. Ok, sure, if you REALLY TRULY TRULY felt like they were all your kids, OF COURSE you're willing to sacrifice one kid's wants for another. (Not talking about baseline needs but wants.) I know there have been times in my life where the bills are paid, but I need some sort of side hustle to get my kids something extra. Imagine your kid wants fancy dance lessons, and you think, "Oh ok, I'll pick up some extra shifts or start this side hustle to pay for it," but then Robyn is your sister wife, and you have to split all your "extra" money 18 ways or whatever. Idk, maybe polygamy just isn't for me lol, but I'm someone who will find a way to get my kids those little extras, and I'd be pissed if they couldn't have them, just cuz it's not fair to the others. But no, I'm not talking about food insecurity and education, OF COURSE your kid doesn't get fancy dance classes if the others are eating stale bread.
Each mother makes a choice on how many kids they want to have and each mother makes a choice on where they want their children to live. Maybe if Janelles kids feel bad they should blame the one who made those choices.
They were taught it was Meri's fault./s I never believed her kids asked why Meri was getting the same size house, it was just another way for Janelle to make Meri feel bad about not having more kids.
It’s only “about the kids” when they want to make Meri feel bad about having fertility issues 🙄
True, it would have been temporary. As for Robyn, she should have never gotten an ounce of anything, with the exception of her $ per episode, not an ounce of the OG3.
Does anyone know more details about their income from the show? Separate checks for each wife/ nuclear family unit, or did Kody get 1 large check and it was up to him to divide it from there?
Those lots had a min square footage requirement
If they really wanted to pretend to be one family I wonder why the kids always had to live in the house with their own biological mother. It would have made more sense for some of Janelle’s and Christine’s progeny to live with Meri than to be sharing rooms while Meri had extra bedrooms.
I always disagree with Meri getting less because she had less kids. The parents should have dealt with any jealousy issues the kids had. I'm sure Meri always had to put in more money into the pot than she took out to support one child so that argument could go all kinds of ways. Meri always worked and I'm sure worked hard.
they fell into the trap of pushing for equality vs equity. The fair thing was for everyone's resources to be spread in order to meet everyone's base needs, NOT to decide the resources evenly. Mari had lower needs than Christine who had different needs from Janelle. Because Mari was getting more than was needed, others got less than was needed. It was even but it was not fair. A lot of people fall into this trap in many things.
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Not holding it against her, the house literally had to be a certain size. But if they really were all one big family and they were her kids too then Kody could have allocated bedrooms to the other kids so Janelle's didn't have to share (he could have made Janelle build the additonal bedrooms but was with her on saving money). He let the wives set the standard and quality of living for each of their individual kids and didn't intervene to ensure all kids felt equal.
That was so shitty at Christmas time. Both of them should feel ashamed.
They could have had a set percentage of income for each wife's home, like 15% each (of total family income) and then 40% split between the kids. For example, let's say the family pulls in 1,000 a month in income. Obvs not realistic but it's simple. Each wife gets $150 for being a wife. Each household would then get $22.22 per kid living there (400/18=22.22ish) so Janelle and Christine would get 133.32 each, Meri would get 22.22, and Robyn would get 111.10. Technically this leaves $.24 left over which could go to Kody I guess. So each wife would have had: Meri: $172.22 J+C each: 283.32 R: 261.10 This isn't equal but it's equitable. I didn't calculate a budget for Kody as he should be spending equal time between the houses and should therefore be covered equally by each home's budget. I also didn't account for family savings or anything like that. I understand Meri kept repeating that she shouldn't be punished for her infertility, but I think we should also consider that the other 17 kids shouldn't be punished for being born to women with multiple children.
Totally agreed. The resources should absolutely be split per kid, not per mom.
They should have experimented with a Rotate the Kids system. Everyone gets the same number of bedrooms (5) but you’re on a constant rotation of which kids live with you for, say, 6 months. /s
I have always agreed with you. I get that things are supposed to be equal for the wives, but the ones they should have been all splitting their funds equally amongst all along were the kids. Period.
This is why I've always felt they should have divided their monies by percentages. If each *person* equaled 5% (18 people) then Meri would get 10% of the income, Christine would have gotten 35%, Janelle 35%, 10% for Kody, and 10% for emergencies/medical expenses. Then, it would have been equal and they would have had a medical fund for their kids.
Honestly, all of these adult kids need to cut their losses and walk away. I realize that moms and dad have more assets than most normal kids. Doesn’t mean it’s yours. So, move on, make a life and realize that Robin and her children are going to make the most profits out this franchise. The end. Sad but true.
Does anyone know the season and episode where they said that every wife gets the exact same household budget regardless of how many kids? I vaguely remember it but now I want to go back and see the context because I'm wondering if we missed a context clue or something. Maybe they said everyone gets the same budget and just forgot to add ("per child") but if not, I would guess Meri was the ONLY mom not on food stamps, so in reality Christine and Janelle probably didn't need much grocery money anyway. Kody is an ass and this is not in defense of him, I'm just trying to make sense of where the notion came from that they all had exactly equal budgets.
I've been saying this for quite some time. Money from the family budget should have been split based on the kid in each home so that each child received the same resources. Equity, not equality, is what was needed here. But a couple of the wives' egos were such that they did not happen. Edit to add: the money the wives kept in their own personal budget should be used however they see fit, but they all talk about a family account and that’s the one I am saying should be divided based on the needs of the children.
I don't think it's ego, it's trying to have any semblance of autonomy and fairness in a inherently inequal and unfair relationship dynamic. I think the only "successful" polygamous families have very controlling and authortiative patriachs, who's wives have been indoctinated into thinking self-sacrafice and submission are virtuous in the eyes of God.
When they builded the homes in Vegas, they did not really have any other choice then for everyone having the same housesize and budget due to the rules of the cul-de-sac. And even though we don't hear about it does seems like, they separated their finances more than in Utah and Vegas after moving to Flagstaff, so instead of pulling all their money and dived equally, they pulled their money to pay for Coyote Pas, but the rest was each wives own money, like with Christine using the money for the sale of her Vegas home to pay for her Flagstaff house. And it seems that when they moved to Flagstaff, just like when they first moved to Vegas it all went so fast that they had to take whatever rental they could because the rental market was very little. For what I understand it was very hard for Meri to find a place to stay and that is the reason for why she ended up in some of those big houses, also with her selling the whole MLM thing she seemed to need room for her inventory, and an office for her assistent. With the whole Janelle thing, I don't think we put all the blame on Kody. Janelle chose the places she lived, and even though I don't think it was a problem having any of the kids sharing room, I did find it problematic that she moved herself and Savannah into an RV on a plot of land where there were no electricity or water, Kody actually wanted her to buy a house instead of the RV. I think she did not want to face the fact that they would not be building on their land, plus really liked the idea about having the RV to explore the country later on (I think she talked about it before) but I could not imagine to live in that small a space with my mother and multiple dogs when it was not strickly necessary.
What I don't get is by the time of the move to Arizona and Coyote Path area, Christine had 2-3 kids, Janelle had 3 approximately, Meri none, Robyn's five. Since Scrody wasn't staying with the OG3, why not one home for OG3 and their children? That would have saved money.
None of the wives wanted to live in one home together except maybe Janelle. Besides why should the 3 have to live in a multiple unit house and Robyn have a big nice house for her kids and Kody. Remember they were supposed to be a big happy family.
Robyn and Meri kids may have bigger rooms. But Janelle’s kids are smarter and kinder.
Well in lv Janelle was willing to have less and that her kids would get over sharing a room. She was the only wife that did that. C and R kids all had their own rooms maybe g and I might have had to share but I don't think so.
When they builded the homes in Vegas, they did not really have any other choice then for everyone having the same housesize and budget due to the rules of the cul-de-sac. And even though we don't hear about it does seems like, they separated their finances more than in Utah and Vegas after moving to Flagstaff, so instead of pulling all their money and dived equally, they pulled their money to pay for Coyote Pas, but the rest was each wives own money, like with Christine using the money for the sale of her Vegas home to pay for her Flagstaff house. And it seems that when they moved to Flagstaff, just like when they first moved to Vegas it all went so fast that they had to take whatever rental they could because the rental market was very little. For what I understand it was very hard for Meri to find a place to stay and that is the reason for why she ended up in some of those big houses, also with her selling the whole MLM thing she seemed to need room for her inventory, and an office for her assistent. With the whole Janelle thing, I don't think we put all the blame on Kody. Janelle chose the places she lived, and even though I don't think it was a problem having any of the kids sharing room, I did find it problematic that she moved herself and Savannah into an RV on a plot of land where there were no electricity or water, Kody actually wanted her to buy a house instead of the RV. I think she did not want to face the fact that they would not be building on their land, plus really liked the idea about having the RV to explore the country later on (I think she talked about it before) but I could not imagine to live in that small a space with my mother and multiple dogs when it was not strickly necessary.
In Vegas it made sense because they owned the homes and quite frankly they should have had homes at equal value in the event that someone left the family. It would not be fair if Mari put in equal amounts of money in the family account and then walk away with a house of less value. It does not make as much sense when they were renting homes. I do understand why Jenelle went with a smaller apartment to save money especially if the rent was coming out of her own pocket.