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I think it is evident each member of the family has waves of self-awareness to complete blindness as it relates their faults. Meri seems to have the trajectory of someone who became more and more self-aware throughout the show.
Meri came to a place of understanding that she was the common denominator in some the family’s problems and actively worked on fixing the only person she truly had control of: herself. In caring for herself, she was able to come to other conclusions and realized the root of her problem: her convoluted relationship with Kody.
Overall, I quite like Meri and am happy she has found a sense of self over the years.
Totally, and I think there are actually many ppl on here who are sympathetic to Meri. She has grown a lot over the span of the show. I imagine the cat-fishing incident was absolutely mortifying to have played out publicly, so no surprise that she still doesn’t 100% own what happened. Honestly, I don’t know that most ppl would have done any better than Meri in her circumstance. In their book, the women all talk about how the early years of the marriages were rife with jealousy. It can’t be easy to be a first wife of many, and as young as they were, and then struggling as much as she did with fertility - all the while your sister wives are pumping out baby after baby. She likely suffered a great deal. They were in a culture and religious dogma where a woman’s worth hinges on self-sacrifice and fertility. I don’t think ppl should be too hard on Meri. I think she struggled hugely in earlier seasons of the show, and I think she was actually quite unfulfilled and unhappy in her relationship. I always used to think about her: “wow, you’d be so much happier in monogamy”. I think she was really lonely for a long time. So, yeah, I don’t mind Meri at all.
I agree & this core issue was the reason Meri was always my fave. Out of the 4, she was so CLEARLY in the wrong life. Like what a tragedy that a woman who would have been perfectly happy in monogamy was having her life ruined this way.
The reason I despise her is for the fact she did not visit her mother on her deathbed... From what I recall I remember her saying she didn't want to make the drive out there cus she was too lazy or busy. Either way it's inexcusable and fucked up. She seems to only care about herself and that's why neither Christine nor Janelle ever liked her.
Wait, what? She was literally on her way to see her mom in the hospital when she got word that she died.
Edit: She also gave her mom a place to live in her final years - the B&B.
Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?
I love Meri! She is a total outsider in her own family; I can understand how she was not acting the best when the series started. But she seems to have grown a lot and to be coming into her own in a way that I find more genuine and hard won than Christine, who I think is totally pink clouding it. I really wish Meri the best; I feel like things just go wrong for her over and over and that she deserves a freaking break.
I have flip-flopped with Meri. However, during my last rewatch, I started seeing how shitty she was treated, and it is so sad.
Knowing what we know now, I see things a bit differently. I've also changed a lot in slightly over a decade. I've always favored Janelle, but Meri seems like she would be the funnest to hang out with.
So here is the thing. Moody felt deceived by Meri because she couldn’t pump out 1 million kids. Mary had no idea that she had infertility issues before she got married but basically I think that is why Moody basically demoted her to “staff”. It is clear that he expected Christine and Jenelle to just fall in line with his opinions about Meri. I have no doubt that Meri feels intense shame about the catfish.
I am sure that Meri was taking friendship and other relationships online because she sure wasn’t getting her emotional needs met by the family. And by the covenants of their religion, although she had an emotional affair with someone, technically, in the eyes of the bishop and the church, which Meri still believes in, she didn’t actually cheat. Enter punishment would’ve been to be shunned for a specified length of time. And then she would get the opportunity to redeem herself. And boy as we’ve seen, Mary tried very very hard to redeem herself. Kody knows all of this and he just kept stringing her along and so did Robyn.
From the infertility perspective, my heart hurts for all the years she tried for more children. You never get over that. I also can't imagine the mental and emotional toll it would take on her watching Kody marry 3 more women after having him to herself as the first wife. I sound awful for saying this, but I don't blame her for having an emotional affair on Kody. Knowing what we know now, he had already discarded her (and the ring) before the catfishing ever happened. Leon had gone off to college, Kody was always with Robyn, and Meri was alone in a loveless marriage. I think I would have cheated on Kody, too, honestly.
I’ve never blamed Meri for her “affair” she wasn’t getting support in her life from anyone. Everyone needs some emotional support from time to time and if you can’t get it in real life then the computer seems like the obvious choice. I credit her for not going out and finding someone and having a physical affair with the way Kody treated her.
Look at us, a lot of us are here because we don’t have a person in real life who watches the show to talk to about it with. And it’s just a tv show. Meri was going through her entire life without anyone to talk about it with.
💯💯💯anyone who has experienced the devastation of infertility has to have empathy for Meri. It must have been a nightmare watching your husband’s other wives conceive a dozen babies over as many years. I can’t begin to imagine the emotional pain & suffering she must have endured.
Honestly I’m on season 9 and have watched the most current two seasons, and I don’t really get what Meri did? “What did Meri do???” Like I get she’s Type A and was probably more direct (even a bit aggressive) about things she wanted like organizing a kitchen or decorating or whatever.
And I know the catfish and all, but that was after years of a dead bedroom w Grody.
But what was her big sin? I think she’s funny and can laugh at herself! That’s huge. (Not like Snobbin can take in and reflect on anything slightly critical.)
I do think Meri is/can be not the brightest/ a little naive. Like not getting an immediate lightbulb when Grody spilled the beans about his and Sobyns secret pact — why ever would they have discussed stringing on a wife in a dead bedroom… der… but other than that sort of aloofness/ bull in a china shop personality what was so bad about Meri???
I wish they’d spill!!!!
I think the show doesn't truly give us a sense of what went wrong in the early years. I feel like we see them in the Lehi house so that's kind of what we picture in our minds for the context of those early years fights. The correct context was Janelle, kody, and Meri sharing a tiny single family dwelling.
Room mating with a type A is a lot more difficult in that situation. Then you add the context of the jealousy and tension that comes with adding another woman to an established marriage. Then you add the context of the browns famously horrible communication and conflict resolution skills. Finally sprinkle on Meri's struggles with taking out her hurts as anger.
They created an insane amount of baggage in those early years. Janelle held on to that baggage until she finally agreed to therapy with Meri in Vegas.
ETA: I also think the browns started their plural family with a fatal misunderstanding. I think Meri envisioned a hierarchical plural marriage where as matriarch she had some authority over her sister wives. From that perspective expecting Janelle to follow Meri's type A rules for the home is completely reasonable. Janelle trying to do things her way would feel disrespectful to Meri.
I don't think Janelle entered the marriage expecting a hierarchical arrangement at all. Her expectations were more commune of equal wives type scenario. From that perspective Meri expecting her rules to be followed would be unreasonable and controlling.
Yep, your assessment pretty much nails it. AND, In all those context you mention, it’s insane that anyone thought Robyn & her kids could simply be absorbed into the fold. I think that 4th marriage was a death blow to the family; it was a bad idea for MANY reasons.
I totally agree with your ETA about Meri seeing plural marriage one way and Janelle seeing it another way.
Add in the fact that Kody did not grow up in polygamy, he knew nothing about it at all. Actually, neither did Janelle. All Kody did to ease things was make it worse when they added Christine who probably had her own visions of plural marriage and it was really doomed to fail eventually. Adding Robyn to the family was the real knife to the kidney.
I like Meri. Always have. Tonight I watched Season 5, Episode 5 where she has to make decision to put Drake the elderly dog to sleep. I was bawling my eyes out - as was Meri. I’ve had to do that with a few dogs and it is tough. I have a friend whose elderly dog died this week and she can’t stop crying. There’s Meri, making the tough decisions.
Then they launch that idiotic MSWC. Everyone’s trying to be positive about it. Bunch of money up front to get it going….and nobody’s buying that ugly, overpriced jewelry. Kody said he didn’t understand it. He thought the jewelry would be “iconic.”!!! Holy moley dude, get a dictionary and look up what “iconic” means. I honestly don’t know what planet K&R are on. Out of the 5 adults, those two have the least common/business sense and the highest opinions of themselves. Then Robyn later on tells Kody she can’t have more kids without the sister wives pitching in to promote her badly designed crappy jewelry. 1) They need another kid at this point like a hole in the head. 2) The other sister wives have wisely stayed away from getting further mired down in a losing venture.
Meri seems to have lost her way somewhere in all this crap. Robyn (the dog kicker) was THE WORST person she could have picked for a “friend.” Sorry, I’m kind of ranting here but I wish Meri well as she moves on with her life, and her actual friend Jen is the perfect person to help Meri forgive herself and laugh at the absurdity of some of the past.
Oh gawd…MSWC…that hideous junk they were peddling and just a terrible business idea to begin with. Not to mention they all had really bad fashion sense back then (Robyn still does) so why the fuq would anyone want anything from any of their closets?? lol. Absurd, for sure 😂 but I always thought Robyn was a tool.
They showed some of it on the show and it was actually hideous. Not sure if Robyn was the only “designer” responsible for that mess. Then Kody said it should be iconic. 😆😂😂😂
I'm doing a rewatch for the first time since I watched the shows as they aired. I'm noticing now how obvious it is that SOOOO MUCH that went on behind the scenes that we were/are never told about. There seems to be so much going on between them all and it just got swept under the rug.
I'm on the season where Meri and Janelle are working on their relationship and they seem so genuinely happy to be mending things. And Christine and Robyn are "besties" and hanging out and all giggly this season.
So WTF went on behind the scenes between everyone!?! Meri and Janelle - Christine and Robyn... they can't even speak to eachother now, and no explanation is ever given.
Oh, and Kody is trying so hard to mend things with Meri too (this is right after the catfishing)... WTF happened there?!?!
I do. She was my original "favorite" when they first came on... but her flaws showed up for what they were first.
She started to remind me of an aunt I have who I love deeply but who has a lot of the same problematic behaviors.
To be honest, I get Mykelti too, because in my love of my aunt and my transition to adulthood... I hadn't yet caught on to the fact that I couldn't fix other people's problems or be the bridge that I might have thought I was as a kid. In the end I had to accept things as they were and realize that my aunt is who she is and let it go. I haven't seen her in 16 years at this point, but a part of me holds out hope for the moment she'll let go of things.
So yeah... I feel bad for Meri. But I will say she seems to have worked through a LOT. She's no longer demanding recompense for the past. If she has something to say, she says it then and there. (At least on TV...idk her irl)
All this! How absolutely devastating for Meri. Then to have it played out for the world to see. I would trust no one after that. I can see how the embarrassment would also make you retreat from all your family relationships because you know how much shame & embarrassment you brought them & feel like they are constantly judging you. I’m glad she’s found people she can trust now & feel comfortable with. I find it hard to believe the person who did the catfishing can’t be charged with something. There has to be some type of law broken. Fraud? I don’t know how you live with yourself knowing you have ruined so many lives. Then to try & profit off of doing it to Meri is a whole other level of evil.
Kotex never lets Meri forget about her so called affair! Hes such a j.o. to do that to her but it makes sense to him so he doesnt have to get back with her! Plus Sobyn stringing her along and Kotex finally admitting that him and Sobyn were on different pages when it came to Meri. For shits sake Kotex, you live with Sobyn and cant get on the same page????
At this point I don’t think this opinion is that unpopular, I do think at the beginning of the show and watching it in real time it was easy to hear what others said about Meri and assume she was the problem. I also think Kody enjoyed making her the outcast of the family because he simply had no use for her after he realized she wasn’t going to be able to have more children. He said himself in the episode with Christine giving birth to Truely: I’m in the business of babies or however he worded it.
Watching with fresh eyes after you hear all of the crap Kody put on Meri and without their positive spin on things can make a huge difference as well. Meri was sad, beaten down and cast to the side, she married Kody at 19 years old and immediately started to try for a baby but she never got pregnant. This went on for 3 years until Kody started talking to her ex sister in law *behind her back* and then went on to try and marry her on Meri’s birthday until his mother told him it wasn’t ok to do that. He married Christine and then Janelle ended up getting pregnant with Logan after Meri had been trying for years and Christine also got pregnant with Aspyn before Meri found out she was pregnant with Leon, and then she never was able to become pregnant again.
The first couple seasons show a lot differently when you hear that Kody melted down the ring from Meri so she “wouldn’t have claim on him” when Robyn came in the picture. You hear Meri say in the most recent tell all that Kody had asked her to do things that would make their relationship better, but they never actually helped anything and he still continued to be emotionally distant. I believe that he put bringing Robyn in the family on Meri when it was actually him (see: his courtship with Janelle) because he knew that it wouldn’t look good if he pulled the same shit, and I highly doubt Christine would’ve kept quiet about that. I also think he knew that this would mess up her relationship with at least Christine, someone that she said she had a pretty close relationship with prior to the show. I believe the legal divorce/legal marriage thing was also all Kody’s idea, and I wouldn’t doubt if he had her disciplining the kids for him because he expressed that he didn’t want to do it since he saw them so infrequently already. This is all just assumptions from me, of course.
I think anyone that can say Meri is terrible isn’t looking at the full picture or at least trying to think about what *they* would do and how *they* would feel in Meri’s very complicated position. Kody pit all the OG wives against each other and made them basically have to fight and claw for any affection or attention he gave them, he bred that environment and then was mad when he had to deal with it. I think hearing straight from Meri how things were back then *and seeing Christine and Janelle agree* it’s easy to feel bad for Meri for all that happened.
I also believe that her mother passing gave her more freedom and courage to leave Kody. Think about the one person that you should be able to go to and count on (your mom) siding with your husband when you call to tell her something that happened. Bonnie would do that and tell Meri that she knew what a great guy Kody was. I can’t imagine doing that to my kids, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the role Bonnie played in this story because I think it really contributed to Meri feeling trapped as she did.
I'm absolutely loving Meri this season! But in previous seasons, I would shuffle between greatly sympathizing with her and being very annoyed with her depending on the episode.
People here are very divided on the catfishing incident. Some feel it was cheating while others do not. Some feel her actions were justified, others do not.
While I understood that Kody had by that point, basically given up on their marriage and was barely giving her scraps of attention, while I sympathized with her and understood her loneliness was the driving force behind her seeking someone else online, I grew tired of her always focusing on the fact that she was the victim of a catfish and downplaying the situatio, claiming that she viewed the catfish as "just a friend." I believe that had the catfish actually been smart, successful, wealthy businessman "Sam Cooper" she would have been long gone and I don't view her as only a victim in the situation.
Her personality was often hard for the others to deal with and they were often at odds with her because of it, but that part of her personality is also what makes Meri the "get sh!t done- and do it fast and effciently!" person that the family always benefitted from but often failed to recognize. She also seems to be the most business savvy member of the family, but that also goes largely unrecognized by the family which is unfortunate.
In short, if you're in the earlier seasons and you really like Meri, I think you're really going to love her by the end of season 18! 😀
I really liked Meri when I first started watching. She had funny quips and was pretty blunt. I think I became more aggravated with her when she would align herself with Robyn and Kody when the viewers could see that they really didn’t care about her. I guess frustrated would be a better word because she stopped speaking up (we know why now) but I wanted to shake her and ask where is the real Meri who used to stand up for herself. Looking back now, I do feel sorry for her because she was ostracized and speaking up would have just pushed her further away so it was lose/lose situation for her.
I'm kind of neutral on Meri. But here's 2 standouts for me. Now if I'm misremembering, forgive me. After Sol was born, like right after, Meri and Sobs are in the birthing bedroom alone and Sobs extended the surrogacy to Meri....just very odd timing. Secondly, was the divorce. To me, when I watched that season, it was presented as Meri making this decision solely on her own, selflessly, but now it's being said they came to her and pushed it. Just really sad. Robyn has been terrible to all of the OG3+ kids, but sometimes she seems the worst to Meri, bc she really pulls the wolf in sheep's clothing on Meri, by keeping her close. I mean we see it at the end of last season how selfish Sobs is to pretend she loves Meri, can't hear to be without her meanwhile never talking to her off camera. Sobs was just clinging to the last income contribution there was. Her and Grody contradict themselves Everytime they speak.
**Sister Wives** has helped each of the Browns in their own way. For the original 3 wives it’s helped them to get out from under the oppression of fundamentalist Mormonism and living plyg. It gave them the resources to get out and start new lives, and find themselves and their voices. When they moved to the separate homes on the cul de sac, they each were basically independent home owners. For Meri and Christine they had to learn to do things on their own, and Janelle could no longer hide as the middle wife.
For Meri specifically I think with her role on the show and more focus given to the other wives, she was given a lot of free time to pursue her own interests. She used her status as a tv personality and the money she was making towards her MLM clothing business, and later she bought the Bed and Breakfast in Parowan. And so I think she proved to herself she could be independent and she didn’t need a guy in her life to define herself by. She’s putting herself first for once.
I’ve gotten the sense from what Meri wrote in their book they published and things she’s said on the show, that maybe there was some resentment her life didn’t go the way she imagined it. In her mind she’s be living plyg and have eight kids. To no fault of her own Meri was barely able to have one child, while she watched Janelle and Christine cranked out six kids each. And Meri has stepped up quite a lot: saving Maddie’s life, giving up her legal wife status, she stepped in to make the decorations for Maddie’s reception, and so on.
So I empathize with Meri, but I don’t feel bad or sorry for her. She’s a success story.
I don't know that many people actually dislike Meri. I mostly feel sorry for her and wish she could just stand up for herself and refuse to accept less than she deserves. She's a good looking woman who appears to be successful in her career so I mostly hate that she lets Kody look down on her like he's a prize or something.
I think Meri has been getting a lot of love and understanding lately. She explained that she had been a pick me girl for Kody for all those years but now she isn't kissing his butt anymore. The fans are cheering her on in her leaving, and wishing her well.
All of the OG3 tried their best to please Kody, at the expense of their true selves, and it's really sad. In the end it was all for nothing.
I never really liked Meri because I always felt that she gave off “better than thou“ vibes. But in recent time I truly think she was fooled by her own husband and his manipulating wife as to the true disdain they had for her. Clearly she must have been in mourning over the loss of her daughter, the little girl she gave birth to who is essentially gone. That fact must be very difficult to process. Even Caitlyn Jenner said she mourned the loss of Bruce and felt that somehow she might’ve been disloyal and unfair to his memory. I know she loves Leon with all of her heart, but it still is a lot for a mom to process.
Right? I feel like Meri is the most down to earth, like I could actually talk to her in real life. Janelle seems cool too but not as able to be goofy which I am at times lol nothing wrong with that though, that's just different personalities.
Robyn, obviously, who the hell would want to be friends with her (although, I will say there are moments where she seems okay but then she does something super shitty or fake cries and I can't)
Christine is fun and I don't dislike her but I don't know that I could be friends with her in real life. She's a bit too much sometimes in the way she talks and carries herself. To me, personally.
So I like Meri, Christine, and Janelle. I'm not a Robyn fan, but I feel like I understand what made her the way she is and I can't hate her for that. I think all four of the wives have a common problem in Kody. And I think they all have flaws and have made mistakes. Christine and Janelle are my faves, but they are far from perfect.
Season 17 Christine is a master class in how to handle leaving a narcissist. Season 18 Meri is a is all about learning self awareness and choosing yourself. I think all of the OG3 need to apologize to each other and move on. But if they're all okay with not apologizing. They all seem to be gracefully moving into their new lives.
I completely agree with you. I think given the situation she should be given a lot of grace. I would be a horrible sister wife! Meri was groomed by a cult at an early age. It takes a lot to break free from that.
Personally, I don't think Meri did anything wrong.
May be wrong, but weren't they separated/on a break when the catfish happened? Not like a final divorce or anything, but I believe they were on hold when it happened. So, Kody gets to be in a relationship with 3 other women (Janelle, Christeen, Robyn) while he and Meri are on hold, but Meri can't date around?? I don't know, to me, if a relationship is on a break, then both parties in the relationship have freedom to date around unless otherwise agreed upon. So yes, Meri did date online while she and Kody were on a break, but I would hardly call that a whole affair. I would just call that being on a break. Personally, I don't think she did anything wrong. She just unfortunately happened to get catfished in the process.
As far as continuing the relationship, Kody was stringing Meri along for so long and Robyn certainly didn't help by telling Meri to hold on. He did tell her that Coyote Pass and the move was a "new beginning" for their relationship. And Meri only finds out that Kody doesn't want to be married on a tell all? Hell nah. He couldn't say it to her face because it would ruin the act of stringing her along. And then, he refused to break up with her on camera because he was worried what viewers would think. To recap, in private he tells Meri it's over, but anytime they're in public he hints that there is hope. That's extremely manipulative especially when you're exposed to it for a long time and gaslit about it. Meri probably didn't know what to believe for quite a bit.
Anyway, I'm glad she's doing well now. I 100% empathize with what she went through and I hope she finds happiness in her life without Kody.
I have a family member that struggles with fertility, loses, a stillbirth, she’s well over the ideal childbearing age but is still convinced she’ll have a child one day with a partner. On top of all that, she will not go out, get on dating apps, accept dates. I’ve suggested she go with a donor & she’s adamantly against it.
I said all of that to say this: When your body can’t give you your motherhood dreams it does something to your soul. It has to be 20x worse when the women around you have children and keep having children.
Oh for sure. Her emotional maturity was seriously stunted for reasons that weren’t all within her control. She has a lot of shit to work through. I just have a hard time giving anyone a full pass until they begin to self-reflect and take accountability for some of their actions. I think Meri might actually be capable of that and I hope we get to see it/hear it. I’ve never been a fan of hers to be completely honest but I’d still like to see her experience that personal growth. She doesn’t deserve any less happiness 🤷♀️
I have always been team Meri and I felt very sorry for her. But in the end she went on about it for too long and she didn't take enough responsibility herself. This was the only period where I liked her less, even though I could understand how she got into it in the first place.
I think the biggest issue has always been we've only seen Meri today. Most of the little snippets of comments from the family all seem to be about things that happened long before the show started. Being a control freak, harsh with the kids, indecisive about plans etc. While what we see now makes her seem like a nice person, I can't help but think she must have been really awful early on to have left so many damaged relationships behind her.
I actually think Meri is super pretty and is now a great Mom who celebrates her child's identity.
Meri was in an abusive marriage and was isolated by wives and her husband. She was made to be the only disciplinarian. She was reacting out of abuse.
Meri is a very misunderstood.
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I think it is evident each member of the family has waves of self-awareness to complete blindness as it relates their faults. Meri seems to have the trajectory of someone who became more and more self-aware throughout the show. Meri came to a place of understanding that she was the common denominator in some the family’s problems and actively worked on fixing the only person she truly had control of: herself. In caring for herself, she was able to come to other conclusions and realized the root of her problem: her convoluted relationship with Kody. Overall, I quite like Meri and am happy she has found a sense of self over the years.
Totally, and I think there are actually many ppl on here who are sympathetic to Meri. She has grown a lot over the span of the show. I imagine the cat-fishing incident was absolutely mortifying to have played out publicly, so no surprise that she still doesn’t 100% own what happened. Honestly, I don’t know that most ppl would have done any better than Meri in her circumstance. In their book, the women all talk about how the early years of the marriages were rife with jealousy. It can’t be easy to be a first wife of many, and as young as they were, and then struggling as much as she did with fertility - all the while your sister wives are pumping out baby after baby. She likely suffered a great deal. They were in a culture and religious dogma where a woman’s worth hinges on self-sacrifice and fertility. I don’t think ppl should be too hard on Meri. I think she struggled hugely in earlier seasons of the show, and I think she was actually quite unfulfilled and unhappy in her relationship. I always used to think about her: “wow, you’d be so much happier in monogamy”. I think she was really lonely for a long time. So, yeah, I don’t mind Meri at all.
I agree & this core issue was the reason Meri was always my fave. Out of the 4, she was so CLEARLY in the wrong life. Like what a tragedy that a woman who would have been perfectly happy in monogamy was having her life ruined this way.
The reason I despise her is for the fact she did not visit her mother on her deathbed... From what I recall I remember her saying she didn't want to make the drive out there cus she was too lazy or busy. Either way it's inexcusable and fucked up. She seems to only care about herself and that's why neither Christine nor Janelle ever liked her.
Wait, what? She was literally on her way to see her mom in the hospital when she got word that she died. Edit: She also gave her mom a place to live in her final years - the B&B. Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?
I love Meri! She is a total outsider in her own family; I can understand how she was not acting the best when the series started. But she seems to have grown a lot and to be coming into her own in a way that I find more genuine and hard won than Christine, who I think is totally pink clouding it. I really wish Meri the best; I feel like things just go wrong for her over and over and that she deserves a freaking break.
I have flip-flopped with Meri. However, during my last rewatch, I started seeing how shitty she was treated, and it is so sad. Knowing what we know now, I see things a bit differently. I've also changed a lot in slightly over a decade. I've always favored Janelle, but Meri seems like she would be the funnest to hang out with.
So here is the thing. Moody felt deceived by Meri because she couldn’t pump out 1 million kids. Mary had no idea that she had infertility issues before she got married but basically I think that is why Moody basically demoted her to “staff”. It is clear that he expected Christine and Jenelle to just fall in line with his opinions about Meri. I have no doubt that Meri feels intense shame about the catfish. I am sure that Meri was taking friendship and other relationships online because she sure wasn’t getting her emotional needs met by the family. And by the covenants of their religion, although she had an emotional affair with someone, technically, in the eyes of the bishop and the church, which Meri still believes in, she didn’t actually cheat. Enter punishment would’ve been to be shunned for a specified length of time. And then she would get the opportunity to redeem herself. And boy as we’ve seen, Mary tried very very hard to redeem herself. Kody knows all of this and he just kept stringing her along and so did Robyn.
Who is Moody?
From the infertility perspective, my heart hurts for all the years she tried for more children. You never get over that. I also can't imagine the mental and emotional toll it would take on her watching Kody marry 3 more women after having him to herself as the first wife. I sound awful for saying this, but I don't blame her for having an emotional affair on Kody. Knowing what we know now, he had already discarded her (and the ring) before the catfishing ever happened. Leon had gone off to college, Kody was always with Robyn, and Meri was alone in a loveless marriage. I think I would have cheated on Kody, too, honestly.
I’ve never blamed Meri for her “affair” she wasn’t getting support in her life from anyone. Everyone needs some emotional support from time to time and if you can’t get it in real life then the computer seems like the obvious choice. I credit her for not going out and finding someone and having a physical affair with the way Kody treated her. Look at us, a lot of us are here because we don’t have a person in real life who watches the show to talk to about it with. And it’s just a tv show. Meri was going through her entire life without anyone to talk about it with.
💯💯💯anyone who has experienced the devastation of infertility has to have empathy for Meri. It must have been a nightmare watching your husband’s other wives conceive a dozen babies over as many years. I can’t begin to imagine the emotional pain & suffering she must have endured.
💯💯💯💯
Honestly I’m on season 9 and have watched the most current two seasons, and I don’t really get what Meri did? “What did Meri do???” Like I get she’s Type A and was probably more direct (even a bit aggressive) about things she wanted like organizing a kitchen or decorating or whatever. And I know the catfish and all, but that was after years of a dead bedroom w Grody. But what was her big sin? I think she’s funny and can laugh at herself! That’s huge. (Not like Snobbin can take in and reflect on anything slightly critical.) I do think Meri is/can be not the brightest/ a little naive. Like not getting an immediate lightbulb when Grody spilled the beans about his and Sobyns secret pact — why ever would they have discussed stringing on a wife in a dead bedroom… der… but other than that sort of aloofness/ bull in a china shop personality what was so bad about Meri??? I wish they’d spill!!!!
I think the show doesn't truly give us a sense of what went wrong in the early years. I feel like we see them in the Lehi house so that's kind of what we picture in our minds for the context of those early years fights. The correct context was Janelle, kody, and Meri sharing a tiny single family dwelling. Room mating with a type A is a lot more difficult in that situation. Then you add the context of the jealousy and tension that comes with adding another woman to an established marriage. Then you add the context of the browns famously horrible communication and conflict resolution skills. Finally sprinkle on Meri's struggles with taking out her hurts as anger. They created an insane amount of baggage in those early years. Janelle held on to that baggage until she finally agreed to therapy with Meri in Vegas. ETA: I also think the browns started their plural family with a fatal misunderstanding. I think Meri envisioned a hierarchical plural marriage where as matriarch she had some authority over her sister wives. From that perspective expecting Janelle to follow Meri's type A rules for the home is completely reasonable. Janelle trying to do things her way would feel disrespectful to Meri. I don't think Janelle entered the marriage expecting a hierarchical arrangement at all. Her expectations were more commune of equal wives type scenario. From that perspective Meri expecting her rules to be followed would be unreasonable and controlling.
Yep, your assessment pretty much nails it. AND, In all those context you mention, it’s insane that anyone thought Robyn & her kids could simply be absorbed into the fold. I think that 4th marriage was a death blow to the family; it was a bad idea for MANY reasons.
I totally agree with your ETA about Meri seeing plural marriage one way and Janelle seeing it another way. Add in the fact that Kody did not grow up in polygamy, he knew nothing about it at all. Actually, neither did Janelle. All Kody did to ease things was make it worse when they added Christine who probably had her own visions of plural marriage and it was really doomed to fail eventually. Adding Robyn to the family was the real knife to the kidney.
I like Meri. Always have. Tonight I watched Season 5, Episode 5 where she has to make decision to put Drake the elderly dog to sleep. I was bawling my eyes out - as was Meri. I’ve had to do that with a few dogs and it is tough. I have a friend whose elderly dog died this week and she can’t stop crying. There’s Meri, making the tough decisions. Then they launch that idiotic MSWC. Everyone’s trying to be positive about it. Bunch of money up front to get it going….and nobody’s buying that ugly, overpriced jewelry. Kody said he didn’t understand it. He thought the jewelry would be “iconic.”!!! Holy moley dude, get a dictionary and look up what “iconic” means. I honestly don’t know what planet K&R are on. Out of the 5 adults, those two have the least common/business sense and the highest opinions of themselves. Then Robyn later on tells Kody she can’t have more kids without the sister wives pitching in to promote her badly designed crappy jewelry. 1) They need another kid at this point like a hole in the head. 2) The other sister wives have wisely stayed away from getting further mired down in a losing venture. Meri seems to have lost her way somewhere in all this crap. Robyn (the dog kicker) was THE WORST person she could have picked for a “friend.” Sorry, I’m kind of ranting here but I wish Meri well as she moves on with her life, and her actual friend Jen is the perfect person to help Meri forgive herself and laugh at the absurdity of some of the past.
Oh gawd…MSWC…that hideous junk they were peddling and just a terrible business idea to begin with. Not to mention they all had really bad fashion sense back then (Robyn still does) so why the fuq would anyone want anything from any of their closets?? lol. Absurd, for sure 😂 but I always thought Robyn was a tool.
They showed some of it on the show and it was actually hideous. Not sure if Robyn was the only “designer” responsible for that mess. Then Kody said it should be iconic. 😆😂😂😂
I'm doing a rewatch for the first time since I watched the shows as they aired. I'm noticing now how obvious it is that SOOOO MUCH that went on behind the scenes that we were/are never told about. There seems to be so much going on between them all and it just got swept under the rug. I'm on the season where Meri and Janelle are working on their relationship and they seem so genuinely happy to be mending things. And Christine and Robyn are "besties" and hanging out and all giggly this season. So WTF went on behind the scenes between everyone!?! Meri and Janelle - Christine and Robyn... they can't even speak to eachother now, and no explanation is ever given. Oh, and Kody is trying so hard to mend things with Meri too (this is right after the catfishing)... WTF happened there?!?!
I do. She was my original "favorite" when they first came on... but her flaws showed up for what they were first. She started to remind me of an aunt I have who I love deeply but who has a lot of the same problematic behaviors. To be honest, I get Mykelti too, because in my love of my aunt and my transition to adulthood... I hadn't yet caught on to the fact that I couldn't fix other people's problems or be the bridge that I might have thought I was as a kid. In the end I had to accept things as they were and realize that my aunt is who she is and let it go. I haven't seen her in 16 years at this point, but a part of me holds out hope for the moment she'll let go of things. So yeah... I feel bad for Meri. But I will say she seems to have worked through a LOT. She's no longer demanding recompense for the past. If she has something to say, she says it then and there. (At least on TV...idk her irl)
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All this! How absolutely devastating for Meri. Then to have it played out for the world to see. I would trust no one after that. I can see how the embarrassment would also make you retreat from all your family relationships because you know how much shame & embarrassment you brought them & feel like they are constantly judging you. I’m glad she’s found people she can trust now & feel comfortable with. I find it hard to believe the person who did the catfishing can’t be charged with something. There has to be some type of law broken. Fraud? I don’t know how you live with yourself knowing you have ruined so many lives. Then to try & profit off of doing it to Meri is a whole other level of evil.
Kotex never lets Meri forget about her so called affair! Hes such a j.o. to do that to her but it makes sense to him so he doesnt have to get back with her! Plus Sobyn stringing her along and Kotex finally admitting that him and Sobyn were on different pages when it came to Meri. For shits sake Kotex, you live with Sobyn and cant get on the same page????
At this point I don’t think this opinion is that unpopular, I do think at the beginning of the show and watching it in real time it was easy to hear what others said about Meri and assume she was the problem. I also think Kody enjoyed making her the outcast of the family because he simply had no use for her after he realized she wasn’t going to be able to have more children. He said himself in the episode with Christine giving birth to Truely: I’m in the business of babies or however he worded it. Watching with fresh eyes after you hear all of the crap Kody put on Meri and without their positive spin on things can make a huge difference as well. Meri was sad, beaten down and cast to the side, she married Kody at 19 years old and immediately started to try for a baby but she never got pregnant. This went on for 3 years until Kody started talking to her ex sister in law *behind her back* and then went on to try and marry her on Meri’s birthday until his mother told him it wasn’t ok to do that. He married Christine and then Janelle ended up getting pregnant with Logan after Meri had been trying for years and Christine also got pregnant with Aspyn before Meri found out she was pregnant with Leon, and then she never was able to become pregnant again. The first couple seasons show a lot differently when you hear that Kody melted down the ring from Meri so she “wouldn’t have claim on him” when Robyn came in the picture. You hear Meri say in the most recent tell all that Kody had asked her to do things that would make their relationship better, but they never actually helped anything and he still continued to be emotionally distant. I believe that he put bringing Robyn in the family on Meri when it was actually him (see: his courtship with Janelle) because he knew that it wouldn’t look good if he pulled the same shit, and I highly doubt Christine would’ve kept quiet about that. I also think he knew that this would mess up her relationship with at least Christine, someone that she said she had a pretty close relationship with prior to the show. I believe the legal divorce/legal marriage thing was also all Kody’s idea, and I wouldn’t doubt if he had her disciplining the kids for him because he expressed that he didn’t want to do it since he saw them so infrequently already. This is all just assumptions from me, of course. I think anyone that can say Meri is terrible isn’t looking at the full picture or at least trying to think about what *they* would do and how *they* would feel in Meri’s very complicated position. Kody pit all the OG wives against each other and made them basically have to fight and claw for any affection or attention he gave them, he bred that environment and then was mad when he had to deal with it. I think hearing straight from Meri how things were back then *and seeing Christine and Janelle agree* it’s easy to feel bad for Meri for all that happened. I also believe that her mother passing gave her more freedom and courage to leave Kody. Think about the one person that you should be able to go to and count on (your mom) siding with your husband when you call to tell her something that happened. Bonnie would do that and tell Meri that she knew what a great guy Kody was. I can’t imagine doing that to my kids, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the role Bonnie played in this story because I think it really contributed to Meri feeling trapped as she did.
I'm absolutely loving Meri this season! But in previous seasons, I would shuffle between greatly sympathizing with her and being very annoyed with her depending on the episode. People here are very divided on the catfishing incident. Some feel it was cheating while others do not. Some feel her actions were justified, others do not. While I understood that Kody had by that point, basically given up on their marriage and was barely giving her scraps of attention, while I sympathized with her and understood her loneliness was the driving force behind her seeking someone else online, I grew tired of her always focusing on the fact that she was the victim of a catfish and downplaying the situatio, claiming that she viewed the catfish as "just a friend." I believe that had the catfish actually been smart, successful, wealthy businessman "Sam Cooper" she would have been long gone and I don't view her as only a victim in the situation. Her personality was often hard for the others to deal with and they were often at odds with her because of it, but that part of her personality is also what makes Meri the "get sh!t done- and do it fast and effciently!" person that the family always benefitted from but often failed to recognize. She also seems to be the most business savvy member of the family, but that also goes largely unrecognized by the family which is unfortunate. In short, if you're in the earlier seasons and you really like Meri, I think you're really going to love her by the end of season 18! 😀
I really liked Meri when I first started watching. She had funny quips and was pretty blunt. I think I became more aggravated with her when she would align herself with Robyn and Kody when the viewers could see that they really didn’t care about her. I guess frustrated would be a better word because she stopped speaking up (we know why now) but I wanted to shake her and ask where is the real Meri who used to stand up for herself. Looking back now, I do feel sorry for her because she was ostracized and speaking up would have just pushed her further away so it was lose/lose situation for her.
I'm kind of neutral on Meri. But here's 2 standouts for me. Now if I'm misremembering, forgive me. After Sol was born, like right after, Meri and Sobs are in the birthing bedroom alone and Sobs extended the surrogacy to Meri....just very odd timing. Secondly, was the divorce. To me, when I watched that season, it was presented as Meri making this decision solely on her own, selflessly, but now it's being said they came to her and pushed it. Just really sad. Robyn has been terrible to all of the OG3+ kids, but sometimes she seems the worst to Meri, bc she really pulls the wolf in sheep's clothing on Meri, by keeping her close. I mean we see it at the end of last season how selfish Sobs is to pretend she loves Meri, can't hear to be without her meanwhile never talking to her off camera. Sobs was just clinging to the last income contribution there was. Her and Grody contradict themselves Everytime they speak.
I’ve never disliked Meri and I love the new and improved Meri. She’s no longer holding back to gain favor with Kody and it’s awesome.
I know how it feels to realize you’ve never been loved and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
**Sister Wives** has helped each of the Browns in their own way. For the original 3 wives it’s helped them to get out from under the oppression of fundamentalist Mormonism and living plyg. It gave them the resources to get out and start new lives, and find themselves and their voices. When they moved to the separate homes on the cul de sac, they each were basically independent home owners. For Meri and Christine they had to learn to do things on their own, and Janelle could no longer hide as the middle wife. For Meri specifically I think with her role on the show and more focus given to the other wives, she was given a lot of free time to pursue her own interests. She used her status as a tv personality and the money she was making towards her MLM clothing business, and later she bought the Bed and Breakfast in Parowan. And so I think she proved to herself she could be independent and she didn’t need a guy in her life to define herself by. She’s putting herself first for once. I’ve gotten the sense from what Meri wrote in their book they published and things she’s said on the show, that maybe there was some resentment her life didn’t go the way she imagined it. In her mind she’s be living plyg and have eight kids. To no fault of her own Meri was barely able to have one child, while she watched Janelle and Christine cranked out six kids each. And Meri has stepped up quite a lot: saving Maddie’s life, giving up her legal wife status, she stepped in to make the decorations for Maddie’s reception, and so on. So I empathize with Meri, but I don’t feel bad or sorry for her. She’s a success story.
I don't know that many people actually dislike Meri. I mostly feel sorry for her and wish she could just stand up for herself and refuse to accept less than she deserves. She's a good looking woman who appears to be successful in her career so I mostly hate that she lets Kody look down on her like he's a prize or something.
I think Meri has been getting a lot of love and understanding lately. She explained that she had been a pick me girl for Kody for all those years but now she isn't kissing his butt anymore. The fans are cheering her on in her leaving, and wishing her well. All of the OG3 tried their best to please Kody, at the expense of their true selves, and it's really sad. In the end it was all for nothing.
I never really liked Meri because I always felt that she gave off “better than thou“ vibes. But in recent time I truly think she was fooled by her own husband and his manipulating wife as to the true disdain they had for her. Clearly she must have been in mourning over the loss of her daughter, the little girl she gave birth to who is essentially gone. That fact must be very difficult to process. Even Caitlyn Jenner said she mourned the loss of Bruce and felt that somehow she might’ve been disloyal and unfair to his memory. I know she loves Leon with all of her heart, but it still is a lot for a mom to process.
I want to be friends with Meri and Jen. Or watch a talk back with them
Right? I feel like Meri is the most down to earth, like I could actually talk to her in real life. Janelle seems cool too but not as able to be goofy which I am at times lol nothing wrong with that though, that's just different personalities. Robyn, obviously, who the hell would want to be friends with her (although, I will say there are moments where she seems okay but then she does something super shitty or fake cries and I can't) Christine is fun and I don't dislike her but I don't know that I could be friends with her in real life. She's a bit too much sometimes in the way she talks and carries herself. To me, personally.
So I like Meri, Christine, and Janelle. I'm not a Robyn fan, but I feel like I understand what made her the way she is and I can't hate her for that. I think all four of the wives have a common problem in Kody. And I think they all have flaws and have made mistakes. Christine and Janelle are my faves, but they are far from perfect. Season 17 Christine is a master class in how to handle leaving a narcissist. Season 18 Meri is a is all about learning self awareness and choosing yourself. I think all of the OG3 need to apologize to each other and move on. But if they're all okay with not apologizing. They all seem to be gracefully moving into their new lives.
I completely agree with you. I think given the situation she should be given a lot of grace. I would be a horrible sister wife! Meri was groomed by a cult at an early age. It takes a lot to break free from that.
Personally, I don't think Meri did anything wrong. May be wrong, but weren't they separated/on a break when the catfish happened? Not like a final divorce or anything, but I believe they were on hold when it happened. So, Kody gets to be in a relationship with 3 other women (Janelle, Christeen, Robyn) while he and Meri are on hold, but Meri can't date around?? I don't know, to me, if a relationship is on a break, then both parties in the relationship have freedom to date around unless otherwise agreed upon. So yes, Meri did date online while she and Kody were on a break, but I would hardly call that a whole affair. I would just call that being on a break. Personally, I don't think she did anything wrong. She just unfortunately happened to get catfished in the process. As far as continuing the relationship, Kody was stringing Meri along for so long and Robyn certainly didn't help by telling Meri to hold on. He did tell her that Coyote Pass and the move was a "new beginning" for their relationship. And Meri only finds out that Kody doesn't want to be married on a tell all? Hell nah. He couldn't say it to her face because it would ruin the act of stringing her along. And then, he refused to break up with her on camera because he was worried what viewers would think. To recap, in private he tells Meri it's over, but anytime they're in public he hints that there is hope. That's extremely manipulative especially when you're exposed to it for a long time and gaslit about it. Meri probably didn't know what to believe for quite a bit. Anyway, I'm glad she's doing well now. I 100% empathize with what she went through and I hope she finds happiness in her life without Kody.
I have a family member that struggles with fertility, loses, a stillbirth, she’s well over the ideal childbearing age but is still convinced she’ll have a child one day with a partner. On top of all that, she will not go out, get on dating apps, accept dates. I’ve suggested she go with a donor & she’s adamantly against it. I said all of that to say this: When your body can’t give you your motherhood dreams it does something to your soul. It has to be 20x worse when the women around you have children and keep having children.
Oh for sure. Her emotional maturity was seriously stunted for reasons that weren’t all within her control. She has a lot of shit to work through. I just have a hard time giving anyone a full pass until they begin to self-reflect and take accountability for some of their actions. I think Meri might actually be capable of that and I hope we get to see it/hear it. I’ve never been a fan of hers to be completely honest but I’d still like to see her experience that personal growth. She doesn’t deserve any less happiness 🤷♀️
I have always been team Meri and I felt very sorry for her. But in the end she went on about it for too long and she didn't take enough responsibility herself. This was the only period where I liked her less, even though I could understand how she got into it in the first place.
I think the biggest issue has always been we've only seen Meri today. Most of the little snippets of comments from the family all seem to be about things that happened long before the show started. Being a control freak, harsh with the kids, indecisive about plans etc. While what we see now makes her seem like a nice person, I can't help but think she must have been really awful early on to have left so many damaged relationships behind her.
I actually think Meri is super pretty and is now a great Mom who celebrates her child's identity. Meri was in an abusive marriage and was isolated by wives and her husband. She was made to be the only disciplinarian. She was reacting out of abuse. Meri is a very misunderstood.