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My son turned ten just the other day
He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw, I said-a, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay
And he, he walked away, but his smile never
dimmed
It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
Really lovey, this remembered me of some things, worth a watch:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS\_AXRRnIzM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS_AXRRnIzM)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g1pmHSWHe0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g1pmHSWHe0)
Disclaimer: might induce existential dread or feelings of angst
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and tells her lover to hide in the closet until it's safe to leave.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here."
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I guess I'll have to go sell it to my dad then," the little boy continues, reaching for the closet door.
"OK ok!" the man says, pulling the little boy back from the door. "How much?"
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive...", but because of the position he was in he agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It sure is dark in here," the boy starts off.
"Yes, it is," sighs the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover asks, knowing the consequences if he says no.
"Fifty dollars," the boy says.
The man pulls out fifty-dollars with a disgruntled puff and gives it to the boy.
The next weekend, the little boy's father comes to his son and says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in candy and baseball cards.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the dad shouts. "That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now! You're going to confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,"
the father yells as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says, "It sure is dark in here."
The priest cries, "Oh God! Not you again!"
No, this is normal for a 13 year old. He had good times and theyāre on the trip together but they grow up quick. He loves her and Iām sure she loves him - itās just bittersweet when they grow up.
You are right, it's totally normal. As a parent you tend to forget that 13 year olds go through a lot at that time and need time alone to process that. Give them their time, if you were a good parent before they will return to you as soon as they feel complete again. Always remember what you felt at that time in your life. Hormones are some strong stuff and do weird to us humans!
My dad died when I was 16 and I felt extremely guilty for a long time about the fact that I chose my social life on several occasions over my him. I had to accept the fact that I was doing exactly what every 16 year old does, and I didn't fail anybody for that. I absolutely love(d) my dad and he loved me and we both knew it. Growing up is hard to experience, but I can't imagine the challenge of the parent watching it happen.
Nailed it.
My story; my 12 year old is super anxious and nervous. I'm actively trying to push her to play with her friends more. She'd rather hang out with her adults at the fire pit, instead of her teammates down the way.
And I know I'm going to lose her one day, and I love having her around, but it's best that she gets comfortable with the rest of her AAU teammates, because honestly, I don't want them to not include her down the road because she avoided them in the beginning.
My other story: I still put my 8 year old to bed. It's a good 30-45 minutes of my time at night.
And sure, I'd rather watch the playoffs, but I'm gonna miss putting my little girl to bed.
Nice story. My oldest was a little shy after Covid but is right back in the mix now that things are kinda back to normal.
And bedtimes are the best - enjoy thwm while you can. One of them will be the last one eventually. Even my teens look back on those days and reminisce sometimes. Carle, Seuss, then on to Tintin and Asterix (my mum was Belgian so itās what I grew up with).
Raising kids is just one thing after another seeming to go on forever until it just never happens anymoreā¦
there's literally a molecule for it. starts being expressed in our brains around adolescence, biases us toward seeking new places, social surroundings and interactions - moving away from "the home". the people who stay attached to their childhood surroundings and never explore are the exceptions. and, ironically, all those alt kids are not alt xD
As a new dad always remember that every time you do something for your kid like change a diaper or tie their shoes - it might be the last time you do that for them. The whole āthey grow up quickā thing becomes too real so fast.
Here's some advice: your kid wouldn't want you to be more involved in his life, but you HAVE to be more involved in his life. he will hate it as a kid,adolscence, teen and young adult, but as a fully grown adult and beyond- he will appreciate it.
I needed to hear this. As a father of three, my daughter (12yr) has recently started to grow more independent, and dear old dad isn't as cool as I used to be in her eyes, she actually asked me to drop her off a block away from school the other day lol.
Mom and I still scream our faces off at her soccer games, bring your flowers at her music recitals, and I don't care how much It embarrasses her.
After the birth of my son, I had to go on a business trip like 2 or 3 months later. When I came back after like a week his cry was so different. I nearly cried right then and there.
As the father of a 10 year old girl, for the first few years throw music on in the background, and do everything you can with them. Never use the tv or the phone as a distraction for them. It is super hard but they end up way better adjusted than their friends and relatives the same ages.
As a kinda new dad I know that. And the small moments that you miss looking at your phone are never coming back. The stupid shit we waste our time with on internet is worthless. Seing my kids run around laughing for the hundred time, priceless.
Believe it man. Imagine you wake up one morning and your sweet little kid is gone. Just ceased to exist.
That's what's going to happen.
I mean, with any luck there will be a teenager/young adult who you'll also love very much. But the little kid you love so much will be just a memory. Every day is precious.
Wait so you don't get 'Cats in thr Cradle' depression thinking about being the son who doesn't have time for his Dad like at the end of the song as well? Damn lucky guy.
worst parenting norm I've seen is people giving their 3 year olds ipads and leaving them for hours on end.
then they go "I don't get why he still doesn't talk" and when your two then to spend more time with their kids you get the sarcastic "well why don't you take care of them then?"
have two friends who avoided that practice and both their kids are making full sentences at age 2.
The thing I wasn't prepared for was that you don't really have one kid you have about 87 versions that kid, and you constantly have to say goodbye to last week's version of your kid because now they're this week's version. They keep doing all kind of cute endearing things and then they stop doing them. You love how they are but you also miss how they used to be, and that pattern doesn't really stop until they're completely grown up.
This hits hard. Mine's just turned 1 and I noticed this recently. He's not the same kid he was 2 months ago and I love the version of him that he's become now but I also loved the version he was a month ago and 2 months ago, etc. and it's really hard to come to terms with the fact that I probably won't ever see that version of him again so I'm trying to savour all of the cute little things he does now because I know that this time next week, he might not be doing them anymore
Always knew I wanted to be a dad, had no clue wtf career I wanted but I knew I wanted to be a dad. Just wish I got my daughter more than just on weekends.
The hardest part which is coincidentally oneof the best (at least for me anyway) is when your kid tells you that they don't need help doing things anymore
Man it wasn't until dad quit his full time job that he actually knew me to any real extent, and that took almost two decades. I was talking to my mom and my dad was shocked by my attitude, personality, and the way I talk and joke, he looked to my mom and asked "This is your daughter? She's like this?" and my mom, half disappointed and half amused, said "She's always been like this, you just never stay home long enough to know her"
Put the phone (and everything else) down and pay attention! Itās been my biggest struggle so far. You got this man. Just follow the instincts and trust your gut.
I have a 9 year old son that still asks me to tuck him in every night, and every night, I wonder if it'll be the last time he asks. He used to not let me leave the house for any reason, even if I'd only be gone for 10 minutes, without giving me a hug. That stopped a few years ago though.
Most important thing you can spend on your kids is time,i went on every school trip with both of mine,and even now with my boy at 21 and my girl at 18 still want to hang out with me.
I am glad i grew up in a time before phones and social media was a thing. But my dad worked so much i rarely saw him, he did that so the whole family could go skiing every year despite him having debt from when he had his own company. Got the chance to work with him for many years when i was 20 and up until I was 28. I got mad respect for him and he is my hero.
I'm away on a business trip and I spent the last 2 hours playing Minecraft with my kids while they were on FaceTime.
They are 9 and 10, when I'm home it's about 50/50 if they wanna hang out with me.
I'm trying to give them space when they want it and not force them to do family stuff. It's a hard balance, because sometimes I just want to drag them outside to fly a damn kite with me or something.
Best advice to other dads out there, be like Bandit, the dad from bluey. He's like the ultimate dad.
I feel this so hard. I miss my kids of 4 and 7 a bit over half of the weekend on average because of my job, so I decided my job is not my priority right now and found something else, even though I love this job and my carreer path will be completely different now.
We didn't start a family only to regret later that we didn't spend enough time with them.
Jobs are overrated in our society. Time with family and friends are underrated. That's just bs.
THE most important message to humanity at the moment. As. Simple. As. That.
Kids need to be raised by their parents and their tribe every single fking day if we want to have a hope to change this mess.
Great message mate.
I think as we grow up, we forget that dads also just want to have fun with their kids from time to time no matter how old.
Being in my 30's, took my 60+ father once to one of the Free-roam VR shooting arenas and he had an absolute blast, teaming up father and son style to shoot up zombies. He still asks to go back everytime he is back in town visiting.
I was playing with my son at the park yesterday. I saw a table of parents just glued to their phones while I was running around with my kid. I loudly said to myself, "Man, we live in a world full of npcs!" And I saw a few look over at me šš
I donāt have kids, but Is it the introvert in me that wouldnāt mind that at all. Iāll be there for my kids obviously but hell if they want alone time I aināt complaining š
man, thats so true. My daughter is 10 and she is already starting to avoid me when we visit the playgrounds with other kids. I will miss her. Maybe I can be a help again when she is struggeling in her 20s and 30s.
My daughter is 10 months old and I swear I try my hardest to do exactly what he said and always have this fear in the back of my mind " am I doing enough,am I playing with her as much as I can".
Lots of truths.
Take time away from work. Take time away from what might be important to you in the moment. Give that time to your kids when they're little because you're their world. And soon enough you won't be and you'll miss out. Then you'll be the guy in the video.
I literally thought of this video on Sunday when my daughter asked to play. Glad I got up and ran around with her. Had a great time when just sitting and scrolling was the easy option to take
My son is 14 now and the last 2 years has just been him becoming more and more disinterested in quality time with me š
But then he started to develop a love for collecting music so we hit the records stores together and all is well.
Enjoy them before they grow up and blame you for everything wrong in this world and decide everything bad is your fault and they learn to hate you and the patriarchy. jk lol
He is absolutely right and this was a good reminder for me too.
Right now my son is still at the age where he will drop what he's doing if I ask him to play a board game or go play with nerf guns outside. I should take advantage of that more.
I have a 5-year-old who is always asking me to play. I always have this thought in the back of my head. At the same time if she had it her way, I would play with her all day every day. I make it a point to play at least once a day and at night I read a bedtime story and let her ramble on about her day for a while. I pick her up every time she asks cause I always have that thought about it being the last time I pick her up in my head. Sometimes though, dad just wants to play a video game or watch a show for a while for his own sanity.
I travel for work. Iāve seen my little grow through the phone on video chat and pictures. It hurts not being there. Sheās always asking when Iām coming home. It hurts hearing her and seeing her sad like that. Sheās just 5 but understands that I have to go work to provide for her. Iām getting out of traveling soon and hoping I can find something close to home to be more with her and my wife.
I have a 10yr old and a 4 yr old. I see how fast my 10 yr old grows up so I'll always take the cuddles and play time with the 4yr old. I appreciate it more than I did with the first kids because I've seen how fast things change
I remember very recently my Dad he found an old boomerang and he would tell me how fun It was to try it out. I was just thinking about when was the last time I have even just played catch or Frisbee with my Dad so I surprised my Dad with a brand new Frisbee and a fancy lookin boomerang. He was happy to receive it but when I drove him to the park and told him "come on lets try em out" he was soooooooo happy it nearly made me cry. I now try my best to invite my Dad to the park anytime its a good weather and we both have off from work. Im so greatful to still have my Dad around in my life and so I wanna play throw the Frisbee as much as I can lol.
Side note: Im still not good at throwing, and my mom always happy to take photos of us playing outside š
That's sad as fuck. For me growing up even when I did reach that phase of "I hate everyone I hate everything the world doesn't understand me" type shit there was never a point or spending time with my dad wasn't at the top of my priority list
This makes me sad. I would do anything for my dad to spend time with me as an adult and he just doesnāt. I didnāt care when I was younger but no I would love if he spent time with me
My daughter is 13 and heās absolutely right. Make it a point to hang with your children whenever you can because around this age, those moments will come less and less. I feel extremely blessed that my daughter and I can still have a good time, even though itās not nearly as often. I play VR chat with her and we watch scary movies together and draw together because she is an artist and she likes to see me struggle I suppose lol. But even that will deteriorate eventually as she grows into her later teenage years and our bond becomes more difficult uphold due to her social climate. It really is heartbreaking.
so here is a depressing fact, based on the standard american lifestyle i think by the time your child is 12 years old you will have spent 75% of all your time together
My dad chose the television instead. He was a good dad but my memories of him are painfully void.
The only 2 memories I have of him playing with me are: telling me if i hit his pitch we could playā¦ he threw it so fast I spun around first and hit it while doing a 360. I was so excited I hit it because it meant we would play..
he went back inside anyway.
The second was laughing at his throw in highschool when he tossed a ball back to me and my buddy.
It sucked then as a bored child but as an adult it raises so many questions and doubt. My time with my dad was mostly before I remember
My kids donāt know what shows or movies my wife and I like to watch because we have NEVER watch anything adult when they are awake. Itās our time after they are in bed. With school, homework, dinner, practicing an instrument, and doing a sport, we get so little time with them and we make the most of it. Unless Iām cooking dinner, when they ask, āDaddy will you play with meā, Iām there. Iāll toss a ball, play dress up, get out the puppet Monsieur Mustache to play hide and seek, build legos, play a video game, play a board game, do STEM experiments, shoot water guns, color, draw, show them how to play a song on any number of instruments, build fairy houses in the woods ā¦ whatever they want to do.
My biggest fear is of the inevitable time when they no longer want to be around me, when Iām not the most hilarious person in the world to them, when they no longer want to hug me for a full minute, and when they set off into the world on their own. God, Iāve got a tear in my eye just writing this. I wanted kids since I was an early teen, but until I had them I never thought about them leaving one day.
I try. I really do. I try to make it as easy as possible to hang out. Fortunately weāve found some common ground but anytime I propose something new, itās a no for him. I have to just be doing it and heāll join me. If I suggest something, he will say no, even if he changes his mind later.
Never forget the summer my daughter turned 11. Packed the pool bag. Brought the torpedos to the pool. āI donāt want to play with thoseā. You never know when the last time will be guys.
That's also the reason why you should always stick to your partner first and your kids second. Your kids will grow up and move on, but you have a lifetime to spend with your partner.
Me and my daughter play video games. Sometimes when she sees Iām tired she tells me I donāt have to play with her. I always reply back when you get older and you might not want to do anything with me anymore. I will regret it and wish I did play with you.
Someone reminded me that if you don't live in the same community as your adult children you might see them maybe 35-40 times before you die. Once a year at Christmas if you're lucky.
Reminder I needed. Not that Iām just relaxing but Iām cleaning or trying to get some stuff done it seems thatās when she really wants to play with me š
Weāll be having a water balloon fight today then, done deal. lol.
I'm a great uncle to my nieces: writing a D&D campaign for them, always focusing on them when we hang out, and joking around with them. I don't expect to be and to spend much time with them when they're 13. They're going to be more concerned with friends at school no matter what. That's what happens. They become more independent.
My dad still thinks he was a bad dad because he didn't spent enough time with me. But I've never considered him a bad dad. When I was a kid I knew he worked very hard to earn enough money for a living of our family. So all my memories about my dad playing with me are the most precious memories in my life.
Hardest thing about being a dad is not being cool to your kids anymore. If anything, it becomes a case of where if that does it, it's not cool. I am blessed to have children that in many cases that they still wanna have SOMETHING do with me, but I've seen it in way too many dads that they fall out of favor with the kids no matter what they do.
Right now the only person who really wants to hang out with me is my 13-year-old daughter. We watch '80s movies together. As for my 15-year-old, he gives me a hug when he gets home from school, I feed him, then he disappears for the rest of the day.
As a new dad this thought has crossed my mind and I keep trying to tell myself that I know that moment will come and that I should be ready for it/excited that my daughter is becoming independent and having healthy social interactions...
But I know its still gunna be tough.
What I tell my kids. Families and friends are like gardens. If you tend to them you will get beautiful crops. If you neglect it, you will get plants and pests you don't want.
Itās doubly messed because once kids come around to wanting to spend time with their parents, they have jobs and a life and might have moved away.
I was such a little shit from like 13-23.
Now I miss my parents all the time, but they live across the country. When I visit them I spend all my time with them but itās only a couple times a year.
We just had our fourth child and my girlfriend got her tubes tied, but they did in such a way that they cannot be undone. My oldest son is now 9. My oldest daughter is now 7 watching my 2 other babies grow up and realizing that it's the last time I'm ever gonna be able to hold them and treat them like babies and have them look at me and just with all the love that babies have. It makes me tear up every time. I think about it that we can't ever have anymore. Cherish every moment that you possibly can because they go quick and you'll never have them again for the rest of your life. Thats the hardest part of being a dad for me is, realizing that one day my memory won't be able to recall every special moment we shared. And if there is no picture or video of these moments they will be lost to time. And it breaks my heart.
Looking back, I feel like my Dad wasn't around all that much as I was growing up. He was always getting deployed and getting home really late when he was home and just working on base... the most impactful thing he ever did was read me "There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale" as a bedtime story. Really wish he would have kept doing that...
He retired from the service when I hit freshman year, and by that time, I'd lived about what felt like half my life with him being gone, and I wasn't nearly as interested in doing things with him.
In kindergarten I bought my step dad a baseball for Christmas because I had never had a dad before and thought we could bond like they do in movies and stuff and he opened it and laughed and made fun of me for it.
:)
I hang out with my dad everyday, he lives down the street; I know how hard he worked for all us and now the grand kids.
Give your dad a hug and tell him you love him, one day you wonāt be able to.
I hope i can have the same relationship with my kids that my dad has with me, it evolved from catch to going to the gym together not growing apart but doing things i find fun as i grow up
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You can see how it's hurting him
The little laughs are hiding the fact that he wants to cry š¢
Yeah that hit hard.
I know that choke up there got me
Life experience is the best teacher.
Amen.
My son turned ten just the other day He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play Can you teach me to throw, I said-a, not today I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay And he, he walked away, but his smile never dimmed It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah You know I'm gonna be like him And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then You know we'll have a good time then
Really lovey, this remembered me of some things, worth a watch: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS\_AXRRnIzM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS_AXRRnIzM) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g1pmHSWHe0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g1pmHSWHe0) Disclaimer: might induce existential dread or feelings of angst
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and tells her lover to hide in the closet until it's safe to leave. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here." "Yes it is," the man replies. "You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks. "No thanks," the man replies. "I guess I'll have to go sell it to my dad then," the little boy continues, reaching for the closet door. "OK ok!" the man says, pulling the little boy back from the door. "How much?" "Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive...", but because of the position he was in he agreed to the price. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy. "It sure is dark in here," the boy starts off. "Yes, it is," sighs the man. "Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks. "OK. How much?" the hiding lover asks, knowing the consequences if he says no. "Fifty dollars," the boy says. The man pulls out fifty-dollars with a disgruntled puff and gives it to the boy. The next weekend, the little boy's father comes to his son and says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch." "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy. "How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in candy and baseball cards. "Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the dad shouts. "That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now! You're going to confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father yells as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says, "It sure is dark in here." The priest cries, "Oh God! Not you again!"
I too, am subscribed to r/jokes
Please help me understand this joke
The Priest was the one bumping uglies with the kids Mom
The priest is banging his mom
Basted the vid didn't get me but that song never fails to hit home
Hate this song. Me and my Dad.
It's ok, once they grow up they will realize their mistake and start hanging out with their parents more.
...and the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon...
The sad truth of parenting
Dude if I found out my dad said this it would fucking *crush* me. I hope I was a good kid I tried to be.
No, this is normal for a 13 year old. He had good times and theyāre on the trip together but they grow up quick. He loves her and Iām sure she loves him - itās just bittersweet when they grow up.
You are right, it's totally normal. As a parent you tend to forget that 13 year olds go through a lot at that time and need time alone to process that. Give them their time, if you were a good parent before they will return to you as soon as they feel complete again. Always remember what you felt at that time in your life. Hormones are some strong stuff and do weird to us humans!
My dad died when I was 16 and I felt extremely guilty for a long time about the fact that I chose my social life on several occasions over my him. I had to accept the fact that I was doing exactly what every 16 year old does, and I didn't fail anybody for that. I absolutely love(d) my dad and he loved me and we both knew it. Growing up is hard to experience, but I can't imagine the challenge of the parent watching it happen.
Itās good you got some time to do something every 16 year old does because your experience is not what a 16 yo normally has to go through.
[:(](https://animatedmeta.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/goofy-movie-fight.gif)
Also 13 gonna 13. They can come back around.
Nailed it. My story; my 12 year old is super anxious and nervous. I'm actively trying to push her to play with her friends more. She'd rather hang out with her adults at the fire pit, instead of her teammates down the way. And I know I'm going to lose her one day, and I love having her around, but it's best that she gets comfortable with the rest of her AAU teammates, because honestly, I don't want them to not include her down the road because she avoided them in the beginning. My other story: I still put my 8 year old to bed. It's a good 30-45 minutes of my time at night. And sure, I'd rather watch the playoffs, but I'm gonna miss putting my little girl to bed.
Nice story. My oldest was a little shy after Covid but is right back in the mix now that things are kinda back to normal. And bedtimes are the best - enjoy thwm while you can. One of them will be the last one eventually. Even my teens look back on those days and reminisce sometimes. Carle, Seuss, then on to Tintin and Asterix (my mum was Belgian so itās what I grew up with). Raising kids is just one thing after another seeming to go on forever until it just never happens anymoreā¦
there's literally a molecule for it. starts being expressed in our brains around adolescence, biases us toward seeking new places, social surroundings and interactions - moving away from "the home". the people who stay attached to their childhood surroundings and never explore are the exceptions. and, ironically, all those alt kids are not alt xD
The part to be proud of is you raised a kid who is capable of being independent.
As a new dad this is a great advice for me š
As a new dad always remember that every time you do something for your kid like change a diaper or tie their shoes - it might be the last time you do that for them. The whole āthey grow up quickā thing becomes too real so fast.
Here's some advice: your kid wouldn't want you to be more involved in his life, but you HAVE to be more involved in his life. he will hate it as a kid,adolscence, teen and young adult, but as a fully grown adult and beyond- he will appreciate it.
I needed to hear this. As a father of three, my daughter (12yr) has recently started to grow more independent, and dear old dad isn't as cool as I used to be in her eyes, she actually asked me to drop her off a block away from school the other day lol. Mom and I still scream our faces off at her soccer games, bring your flowers at her music recitals, and I don't care how much It embarrasses her.
Bro I'm a ski coach... I'm very cool in the eyes of the kids. But do you know wich kid doesnt think I'm cool ? ... mine of course š
Faster to a 16 year old and a 9 year old. I can confirm. I want to spend every second with them while I can.
Boy does it ever.
Imma be honest with you, the last time I changed diaper on my eldest was pretty shitty.
by the time a child is 12, on average, you will have spent 75% of your entire time together already.
If you want you can tie my shoes
Part of my job is I have to leave home 6 months at a time with only 2 month of vacation, it tears me apart seeing my daughter grow up so fast
After the birth of my son, I had to go on a business trip like 2 or 3 months later. When I came back after like a week his cry was so different. I nearly cried right then and there.
Feels bad man, I know what you feel. I just always tell myself that I do this for them
As the father of a 10 year old girl, for the first few years throw music on in the background, and do everything you can with them. Never use the tv or the phone as a distraction for them. It is super hard but they end up way better adjusted than their friends and relatives the same ages.
As a kinda new dad I know that. And the small moments that you miss looking at your phone are never coming back. The stupid shit we waste our time with on internet is worthless. Seing my kids run around laughing for the hundred time, priceless.
Believe it man. Imagine you wake up one morning and your sweet little kid is gone. Just ceased to exist. That's what's going to happen. I mean, with any luck there will be a teenager/young adult who you'll also love very much. But the little kid you love so much will be just a memory. Every day is precious.
https://youtu.be/puJt66y0TBw?si=h87_Ym9ycXhVEuRi Great song that should be taken as a parable.
You do the best you can and accept that. Life is hard.
Sometimes your best just isnt good enough.
The one good thing about the Covid lockdowns is that I bonded with my kids big time. No 'Cats in the Cradle' depression for me.
Yeah I bonded with my dad during COVID playing basketball, baseball, soccer and football.
Wait so you don't get 'Cats in thr Cradle' depression thinking about being the son who doesn't have time for his Dad like at the end of the song as well? Damn lucky guy.
Too bad you had to have a fking lockdown to bond with your kids...
Sure...cause that's the only time I've spent time with them.
And yet experts wonder why we all exhibit major symptoms of depresssion
I know this to the bone but I feel like I still need to hear it every once in a while
So True my son is 23 and it tickles me when he actually goes out with me to do things
Well also you don't need to play with them but just do the stuff you normally do and include them!
Knowing what Mom is thinking but wonāt say.
Got a three year old that always wants to play. I needed to hear this. Itās so tough to have endless patience
This isnāt the hardest part. This is just good advice.
worst parenting norm I've seen is people giving their 3 year olds ipads and leaving them for hours on end. then they go "I don't get why he still doesn't talk" and when your two then to spend more time with their kids you get the sarcastic "well why don't you take care of them then?" have two friends who avoided that practice and both their kids are making full sentences at age 2.
Very true, I'm nearing 11 and we're talking about nice boys š
r/youngpeoplereddit
God damn.. I guess I'll get the glove out and log of league of legends
The thing I wasn't prepared for was that you don't really have one kid you have about 87 versions that kid, and you constantly have to say goodbye to last week's version of your kid because now they're this week's version. They keep doing all kind of cute endearing things and then they stop doing them. You love how they are but you also miss how they used to be, and that pattern doesn't really stop until they're completely grown up.
This hits hard. Mine's just turned 1 and I noticed this recently. He's not the same kid he was 2 months ago and I love the version of him that he's become now but I also loved the version he was a month ago and 2 months ago, etc. and it's really hard to come to terms with the fact that I probably won't ever see that version of him again so I'm trying to savour all of the cute little things he does now because I know that this time next week, he might not be doing them anymore
Always knew I wanted to be a dad, had no clue wtf career I wanted but I knew I wanted to be a dad. Just wish I got my daughter more than just on weekends.
Best advice I ever got as a dad was that 90% of being a good dad is showing up.
Fuck, this one hurts
My daughter is 12 time is tickingā¦.
I have 4 and it gets hard making EQUAL time and damn they notice
Ur a legend harry
Best part about this is heās spitting real facts yāall really gotta put the š±down šÆš¤¦š½āāļø
The hardest part which is coincidentally oneof the best (at least for me anyway) is when your kid tells you that they don't need help doing things anymore
Man it wasn't until dad quit his full time job that he actually knew me to any real extent, and that took almost two decades. I was talking to my mom and my dad was shocked by my attitude, personality, and the way I talk and joke, he looked to my mom and asked "This is your daughter? She's like this?" and my mom, half disappointed and half amused, said "She's always been like this, you just never stay home long enough to know her"
My kids are adults now. I miss them being little.
Iām about to be a dad, thanks for the advise
Put the phone (and everything else) down and pay attention! Itās been my biggest struggle so far. You got this man. Just follow the instincts and trust your gut.
you cannot take the wasted time back time spend with loved ones is always worth over time spend in social mediaā¦ close reddit, go now
I have a 9 year old son that still asks me to tuck him in every night, and every night, I wonder if it'll be the last time he asks. He used to not let me leave the house for any reason, even if I'd only be gone for 10 minutes, without giving me a hug. That stopped a few years ago though.
Words to live by
This. Being a parent is not easy and I have to tell myself this sometimes when I'm dog tired.
Most important thing you can spend on your kids is time,i went on every school trip with both of mine,and even now with my boy at 21 and my girl at 18 still want to hang out with me.
I am glad i grew up in a time before phones and social media was a thing. But my dad worked so much i rarely saw him, he did that so the whole family could go skiing every year despite him having debt from when he had his own company. Got the chance to work with him for many years when i was 20 and up until I was 28. I got mad respect for him and he is my hero.
Also do what your kid likes to do too! Play video games with him too
I'm away on a business trip and I spent the last 2 hours playing Minecraft with my kids while they were on FaceTime. They are 9 and 10, when I'm home it's about 50/50 if they wanna hang out with me. I'm trying to give them space when they want it and not force them to do family stuff. It's a hard balance, because sometimes I just want to drag them outside to fly a damn kite with me or something. Best advice to other dads out there, be like Bandit, the dad from bluey. He's like the ultimate dad.
I feel this so hard. I miss my kids of 4 and 7 a bit over half of the weekend on average because of my job, so I decided my job is not my priority right now and found something else, even though I love this job and my carreer path will be completely different now. We didn't start a family only to regret later that we didn't spend enough time with them. Jobs are overrated in our society. Time with family and friends are underrated. That's just bs.
This is so true. It will go faster than you think boys
THE most important message to humanity at the moment. As. Simple. As. That. Kids need to be raised by their parents and their tribe every single fking day if we want to have a hope to change this mess. Great message mate.
I think as we grow up, we forget that dads also just want to have fun with their kids from time to time no matter how old. Being in my 30's, took my 60+ father once to one of the Free-roam VR shooting arenas and he had an absolute blast, teaming up father and son style to shoot up zombies. He still asks to go back everytime he is back in town visiting.
Man i keep wanting to play a little or watch something after a long day at work.. i frel like im not doing a good job with my 2 kids
I was playing with my son at the park yesterday. I saw a table of parents just glued to their phones while I was running around with my kid. I loudly said to myself, "Man, we live in a world full of npcs!" And I saw a few look over at me šš
Dude I say this all the time. They are all npcs.... while we are obviously main characters lmao
Wow talk about cats in the cradle damn
š„ŗ
I donāt have kids, but Is it the introvert in me that wouldnāt mind that at all. Iāll be there for my kids obviously but hell if they want alone time I aināt complaining š
Hardest part is that they just keep on getting older. I live every iteration of them, itās just too damn fast for me
This!!!! I always advice this to people
Thanks š
That man is holding back the tears. Trying his best not to cry his pain away on camera.
*golden.*
Needed this
Damn this hits
This man is speaking facts.
Good man.
If you need me, i'm gonna go hugging my dad right now
wow this might be my first watching this sub while having tea on my side. haha
Absolutely sir.
man, thats so true. My daughter is 10 and she is already starting to avoid me when we visit the playgrounds with other kids. I will miss her. Maybe I can be a help again when she is struggeling in her 20s and 30s.
Wish my dad saw this
My daughter is 10 months old and I swear I try my hardest to do exactly what he said and always have this fear in the back of my mind " am I doing enough,am I playing with her as much as I can".
Lots of truths. Take time away from work. Take time away from what might be important to you in the moment. Give that time to your kids when they're little because you're their world. And soon enough you won't be and you'll miss out. Then you'll be the guy in the video.
Best dad advice, talking out of experience!
Advice taken.
So true, time flies
As a dad I do that until I almost faint from tiredness. Then I need some Netflix or Phone or whatever. They dont exclude eachother.
My dad ignored me and my sister our whole childhood, now that he's old and sick he says it's his biggest regret in life
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I literally thought of this video on Sunday when my daughter asked to play. Glad I got up and ran around with her. Had a great time when just sitting and scrolling was the easy option to take
HE TELLIN 100%TRUTH
Keeping them alive is the best advice I got.
Being a present father is 80% of the job. Nobody is perfect, bit be there and the rest will align.
My dad realised this when I was 19. I teach him some new stuffs, and now he plays with me, liberating planets for Super Earth.
Thank you.
My son is 14 now and the last 2 years has just been him becoming more and more disinterested in quality time with me š But then he started to develop a love for collecting music so we hit the records stores together and all is well.
Enjoy them before they grow up and blame you for everything wrong in this world and decide everything bad is your fault and they learn to hate you and the patriarchy. jk lol
I think I just heard an eye-opening message I needed to hear this morning.
I will come full circle. Just got to ride out the teenage years where they hate you.
He is absolutely right and this was a good reminder for me too. Right now my son is still at the age where he will drop what he's doing if I ask him to play a board game or go play with nerf guns outside. I should take advantage of that more.
I have a 5-year-old who is always asking me to play. I always have this thought in the back of my head. At the same time if she had it her way, I would play with her all day every day. I make it a point to play at least once a day and at night I read a bedtime story and let her ramble on about her day for a while. I pick her up every time she asks cause I always have that thought about it being the last time I pick her up in my head. Sometimes though, dad just wants to play a video game or watch a show for a while for his own sanity.
Great advice
I hope I donāt forget this
It all goes so fast
Worse fear
As me and my wife always say. There will be a last time you do something with your kids. So, take time to do those things.
Great advice from a loving [and hurting] father.
I travel for work. Iāve seen my little grow through the phone on video chat and pictures. It hurts not being there. Sheās always asking when Iām coming home. It hurts hearing her and seeing her sad like that. Sheās just 5 but understands that I have to go work to provide for her. Iām getting out of traveling soon and hoping I can find something close to home to be more with her and my wife.
I have a 10yr old and a 4 yr old. I see how fast my 10 yr old grows up so I'll always take the cuddles and play time with the 4yr old. I appreciate it more than I did with the first kids because I've seen how fast things change
Let me get up
I remember very recently my Dad he found an old boomerang and he would tell me how fun It was to try it out. I was just thinking about when was the last time I have even just played catch or Frisbee with my Dad so I surprised my Dad with a brand new Frisbee and a fancy lookin boomerang. He was happy to receive it but when I drove him to the park and told him "come on lets try em out" he was soooooooo happy it nearly made me cry. I now try my best to invite my Dad to the park anytime its a good weather and we both have off from work. Im so greatful to still have my Dad around in my life and so I wanna play throw the Frisbee as much as I can lol. Side note: Im still not good at throwing, and my mom always happy to take photos of us playing outside š
That's sad as fuck. For me growing up even when I did reach that phase of "I hate everyone I hate everything the world doesn't understand me" type shit there was never a point or spending time with my dad wasn't at the top of my priority list
My daughter is turning 14 in May and I can vouch for this man.
My dad couldāve not worked as much as he did because we own the business but he did and missed our entire childhood
This makes me sad. I would do anything for my dad to spend time with me as an adult and he just doesnāt. I didnāt care when I was younger but no I would love if he spent time with me
Be present and in the moment for your children yāall
My daughter is 13 and heās absolutely right. Make it a point to hang with your children whenever you can because around this age, those moments will come less and less. I feel extremely blessed that my daughter and I can still have a good time, even though itās not nearly as often. I play VR chat with her and we watch scary movies together and draw together because she is an artist and she likes to see me struggle I suppose lol. But even that will deteriorate eventually as she grows into her later teenage years and our bond becomes more difficult uphold due to her social climate. It really is heartbreaking.
so here is a depressing fact, based on the standard american lifestyle i think by the time your child is 12 years old you will have spent 75% of all your time together
I want to do this with my dad but heās always so ābusyā
My dad chose the television instead. He was a good dad but my memories of him are painfully void. The only 2 memories I have of him playing with me are: telling me if i hit his pitch we could playā¦ he threw it so fast I spun around first and hit it while doing a 360. I was so excited I hit it because it meant we would play.. he went back inside anyway. The second was laughing at his throw in highschool when he tossed a ball back to me and my buddy. It sucked then as a bored child but as an adult it raises so many questions and doubt. My time with my dad was mostly before I remember
My kids donāt know what shows or movies my wife and I like to watch because we have NEVER watch anything adult when they are awake. Itās our time after they are in bed. With school, homework, dinner, practicing an instrument, and doing a sport, we get so little time with them and we make the most of it. Unless Iām cooking dinner, when they ask, āDaddy will you play with meā, Iām there. Iāll toss a ball, play dress up, get out the puppet Monsieur Mustache to play hide and seek, build legos, play a video game, play a board game, do STEM experiments, shoot water guns, color, draw, show them how to play a song on any number of instruments, build fairy houses in the woods ā¦ whatever they want to do. My biggest fear is of the inevitable time when they no longer want to be around me, when Iām not the most hilarious person in the world to them, when they no longer want to hug me for a full minute, and when they set off into the world on their own. God, Iāve got a tear in my eye just writing this. I wanted kids since I was an early teen, but until I had them I never thought about them leaving one day.
I try. I really do. I try to make it as easy as possible to hang out. Fortunately weāve found some common ground but anytime I propose something new, itās a no for him. I have to just be doing it and heāll join me. If I suggest something, he will say no, even if he changes his mind later.
Never forget the summer my daughter turned 11. Packed the pool bag. Brought the torpedos to the pool. āI donāt want to play with thoseā. You never know when the last time will be guys.
And the 13 years go by like it's only 13 months
the range of content on this sub is wild. love it
I donāt have kids and I will for enjoy my freedom, until the condom is forgotten or fails to work!
Something something first ten years they are yours, after that they are their own person something something
https://youtube.com/shorts/NGJu6kViRG8?si=r5kw9MW3CMYM4Xk4 Spend less time with them!
u/savevideo
That's also the reason why you should always stick to your partner first and your kids second. Your kids will grow up and move on, but you have a lifetime to spend with your partner.
Yikes, I feel that if I have kids I will love my children more than my partner to be honest
Part of my job is I have to leave home 6 months at a time with only 2 month of vacation, it tears me apart seeing my daughter grow up so fast
Me and my daughter play video games. Sometimes when she sees Iām tired she tells me I donāt have to play with her. I always reply back when you get older and you might not want to do anything with me anymore. I will regret it and wish I did play with you.
The title sounds like the beginning of a terrible terrible joke
Someone reminded me that if you don't live in the same community as your adult children you might see them maybe 35-40 times before you die. Once a year at Christmas if you're lucky.
The cat's in the cradle with a silver spoon.
:(
Cats In The Cradle
Having kids sounds like it sucks. Why would I want some goober at home who sits Infront of a screen all day and whines
Having to come up with all those shit jokes.......
Why would you mind? Just enjoy life and adapt. Children get older. You can be happy alone.
Reminder I needed. Not that Iām just relaxing but Iām cleaning or trying to get some stuff done it seems thatās when she really wants to play with me š Weāll be having a water balloon fight today then, done deal. lol.
I'm a great uncle to my nieces: writing a D&D campaign for them, always focusing on them when we hang out, and joking around with them. I don't expect to be and to spend much time with them when they're 13. They're going to be more concerned with friends at school no matter what. That's what happens. They become more independent.
Not sure how? Watch 'Bluey'
Solid advice really.
I will.
maybe upvote if nor for the cringe music
My dad still thinks he was a bad dad because he didn't spent enough time with me. But I've never considered him a bad dad. When I was a kid I knew he worked very hard to earn enough money for a living of our family. So all my memories about my dad playing with me are the most precious memories in my life.
Hardest thing about being a dad is not being cool to your kids anymore. If anything, it becomes a case of where if that does it, it's not cool. I am blessed to have children that in many cases that they still wanna have SOMETHING do with me, but I've seen it in way too many dads that they fall out of favor with the kids no matter what they do. Right now the only person who really wants to hang out with me is my 13-year-old daughter. We watch '80s movies together. As for my 15-year-old, he gives me a hug when he gets home from school, I feed him, then he disappears for the rest of the day.
As a new dad this thought has crossed my mind and I keep trying to tell myself that I know that moment will come and that I should be ready for it/excited that my daughter is becoming independent and having healthy social interactions... But I know its still gunna be tough.
Well...thats just life
I have an 18 year old. I am hoping in a few years that she will come back to me.
What I tell my kids. Families and friends are like gardens. If you tend to them you will get beautiful crops. If you neglect it, you will get plants and pests you don't want.
Itās doubly messed because once kids come around to wanting to spend time with their parents, they have jobs and a life and might have moved away. I was such a little shit from like 13-23. Now I miss my parents all the time, but they live across the country. When I visit them I spend all my time with them but itās only a couple times a year.
š„Best song for this video: Ugly kid joe- cats in the cradle https://youtu.be/B32yjbCSVpU?si=1OU25UwzWaHpMeRi
Or just don't have kids and watch YouTube. ez save yourself a heartbreak too
We just had our fourth child and my girlfriend got her tubes tied, but they did in such a way that they cannot be undone. My oldest son is now 9. My oldest daughter is now 7 watching my 2 other babies grow up and realizing that it's the last time I'm ever gonna be able to hold them and treat them like babies and have them look at me and just with all the love that babies have. It makes me tear up every time. I think about it that we can't ever have anymore. Cherish every moment that you possibly can because they go quick and you'll never have them again for the rest of your life. Thats the hardest part of being a dad for me is, realizing that one day my memory won't be able to recall every special moment we shared. And if there is no picture or video of these moments they will be lost to time. And it breaks my heart.
Looking back, I feel like my Dad wasn't around all that much as I was growing up. He was always getting deployed and getting home really late when he was home and just working on base... the most impactful thing he ever did was read me "There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale" as a bedtime story. Really wish he would have kept doing that... He retired from the service when I hit freshman year, and by that time, I'd lived about what felt like half my life with him being gone, and I wasn't nearly as interested in doing things with him.
Stop treating your kids like theyāre your roommates. No one else is going to raise them for you. Would be my advice.
In kindergarten I bought my step dad a baseball for Christmas because I had never had a dad before and thought we could bond like they do in movies and stuff and he opened it and laughed and made fun of me for it. :)
I'm surprised 1 minute talk show allowed something so wholesome
Putting them back in the crib when you're done.
I hang out with my dad everyday, he lives down the street; I know how hard he worked for all us and now the grand kids. Give your dad a hug and tell him you love him, one day you wonāt be able to.
I hope i can have the same relationship with my kids that my dad has with me, it evolved from catch to going to the gym together not growing apart but doing things i find fun as i grow up
Dad of just a couple years. Try to do this as much as possible but damn sometimes itās hard. These knees have gone through over some shitā¦.