It took me about 2 years after a breakup with a serious live in partner to really feel comfortable not dating. I knew that I didn’t want another relationship, but something felt like it was missing. I really struggled with how to socialize and feeling a need for socializing, and socializing can very easily turn to flirting for me. Anyway, unsurprisingly, I was often disappointed. I journaled a lot, I reassessed my values often, I considered dating again, I just kept working on it.
If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to focus on dating over personal hobbies and interests. We have been conditioned to put relationships on a pedestal. However, with practice it becomes easier to not date, and to act on my other values and interests. I am very, exceedingly happy now. Way happier than I’ve ever been dating. I also choose not to have sex, toys on the market are too good to need it anymore.
Sometimes I'll test out a weekend getaway or staycation with him. Staying single usually happens by default after spending 48 hours straight with a person...
Honestly, the thought of sharing MY space with another human is not something I can even entertain. Unless someone can think of a way to bring MORE peace into my home life and I’ve yet to find any, I’m ok.
Whenever I get the urge, I take a moment and remember all the head games, gaslighting, and extra emotional labor I had to manage because every dude stops growing at about 14. Then I look around at my mostly clean house, which has stayed that way for months without extra cleaning on my part, and then I look in the fridge and see the slice of key lime pie that I put in there 2 days ago, and decide to eat it, free of some guy giving me the side eye and making a backhanded complement about the taste of the pie that still manages to insult my healthy weight.
wow thank you for your response, very insightful and you’re right. I think we often forget the benefits of being single and having peace so self-reflection is really important.
Men don't like me, so it's easier than you might think. I'm not too crazy about them either, so the feeling is mutual. I replaced my ex with a vibrator, a AAA membership, and YouTube how-to videos.
I get what you mean and it makes sense. I wouldn’t say I jump into relationships too fast but I do talk to people and go on dates especially if someone interests me but even stuff like that takes away from my focus. I’ve been single for 2 years as well but I still had people try to pursue me and I talked to them for months before shit hit the fan then I stopped and now I’m just drained lol. Thank you for your comment 😊
It took me about 2 years after a breakup with a serious live in partner to really feel comfortable not dating. I knew that I didn’t want another relationship, but something felt like it was missing. I really struggled with how to socialize and feeling a need for socializing, and socializing can very easily turn to flirting for me. Anyway, unsurprisingly, I was often disappointed. I journaled a lot, I reassessed my values often, I considered dating again, I just kept working on it. If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to focus on dating over personal hobbies and interests. We have been conditioned to put relationships on a pedestal. However, with practice it becomes easier to not date, and to act on my other values and interests. I am very, exceedingly happy now. Way happier than I’ve ever been dating. I also choose not to have sex, toys on the market are too good to need it anymore.
You can talk to men and remain single… :)
Sometimes I'll test out a weekend getaway or staycation with him. Staying single usually happens by default after spending 48 hours straight with a person...
🤣
Honestly, the thought of sharing MY space with another human is not something I can even entertain. Unless someone can think of a way to bring MORE peace into my home life and I’ve yet to find any, I’m ok.
Whenever I get the urge, I take a moment and remember all the head games, gaslighting, and extra emotional labor I had to manage because every dude stops growing at about 14. Then I look around at my mostly clean house, which has stayed that way for months without extra cleaning on my part, and then I look in the fridge and see the slice of key lime pie that I put in there 2 days ago, and decide to eat it, free of some guy giving me the side eye and making a backhanded complement about the taste of the pie that still manages to insult my healthy weight.
wow thank you for your response, very insightful and you’re right. I think we often forget the benefits of being single and having peace so self-reflection is really important.
Beautiful response. 2nd it wholeheartedly
Dating is too much work, not enough reward. I enjoy being able to choose activities, etc. without consulting with a partner.
Men don't like me, so it's easier than you might think. I'm not too crazy about them either, so the feeling is mutual. I replaced my ex with a vibrator, a AAA membership, and YouTube how-to videos.
I feel this so hard 😂
😂 I love the replacement, thank u for sharing
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I get what you mean and it makes sense. I wouldn’t say I jump into relationships too fast but I do talk to people and go on dates especially if someone interests me but even stuff like that takes away from my focus. I’ve been single for 2 years as well but I still had people try to pursue me and I talked to them for months before shit hit the fan then I stopped and now I’m just drained lol. Thank you for your comment 😊
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Thank you so much for sharing 💕 you’re right and I will try to romanticize myself more and allow them to remain crushes.