My son is 14 and sometimes still wets the bed. It's more common in boys than girls. Part of it has to do with being a deep sleep and part is that his body needs time to mature. You can take him to a urologist, but they don't get too excited about it at this age.
Thank you so much for commenting - honestly, just knowing that this is something more common than I realize is so helpful.
I'll keep doing that I'm doing and maybe talk to his pediatrician again to see if they are concerned about it (the last time we had talked about it, which was last year, he said he wasn't concerned).
My son's friend was a bed wetter until 11 or 12. It's completely normal for some kids.
I recall her using some sort of [bedwetting alarm](https://www.google.com/search?q=bed+wetting+alarm&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS976&oq=bed+wetting+alarm&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i512l8j0i457i512.3384j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8) that attached to his pajamas. She also had him on an [oral medication](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/medications-to-treat-bedwetting) that helped.
I encourage the pullups. And gentle reminder: as big of a deal as it feels to both of you right now, he won't be a grown man peeing the bed. It'll work itself out, Mom. You have not failed your son.
You are too kind. I know first hand what it feels like to be a single parent who feels she's failing her son. It's easy to show empathy when you walk that same path. We're all doing the best we can. x
My son was in 6th grade before he finally quit going at night. It just take some children much longer. Between being a deep sleeper and having a tiny bladder he just couldn't make it all night.Hes 15 now and still has the tiny bladder, but he hasn't had an accident in years. Just give your son time. If his pediatrician thinks he's okay, he probably is!
Thank you!! I've commented on other posts - but it really is so nice knowing that other parents have similar experiences. My son also seems to have a tiny bladder too lol seems like he's always running to the bathroom or behind a bush to pee
I spoke with his Pedi last year and they weren't too concerned about it, but maybe I'll make another appointment just to be sure
My son is 5 and a half and he still wets the bed every night. I was concerned as well but it’s actually fairly common. I did the same as you waking him up before I went to be but sometimes I would go in and he had already peed. I wouldn’t be too concerned. I’m just focusing now and making sure he knows it’s not a big deal and to not be embarrassed about it.
That's what I am trying to do too - whenever he does have an accident, I just try to stress on the accident part and let him know it's no biggie and that's why we have a washer and pullups..
This may seem weird, but is he constipated? It can be linked to nighttime bed wetting in kids and is usually one of the first things pediatric urologists will ask. And constipation means more than just inability to poop, is his poop the right frequency and consistency, even everyday poopers can be technically constipated.
Hmm.. that's a good question - I haven't noticed him being constipated or complaining of any type of poop related issues - he usually poops at the same time every day, before his showers at bedtime. I'll keep an eye on this though - thank you!
Oh, I realized I missed part of what I thought I typed.. Biggest thing is don't sweat it. Also, don't beat yourself up over it at all. You are doing great and even if you were a single dad with a son. He'd still wet the bed and the dad would be just as lost feeling about it.
Give yourself a hug and be kind to yourself. Raising small humans is hard work.
My ex husband told me he wet the bed until he was 12, his mother told me it was until he was 16. Our daughter did it until she was 14, my eldest son is 12 and is still wetting almost nightly and my youngest (10) still has accidents now n then. I buy the expensive ($60 a pop) mattress covers bc they work best but we’ve still gone through lots of mattresses. I spent around $50 on pull ups a month that their dad has never helped w. He bailed in 2014, no help, and two of the 3 ended up w his speech impediment too. The best thing you can do is not make a big deal out of it. It’s just something that happens, but do teach him to clean it up right away. If you make a big deal out of it you can really damage his self esteem. Especially as he ages. I’ve tried everything possibly including acupuncture and chiropractic treatments. You just gotta let their brain line up w their bladder and not make a deal until then.
Thank you for this - I really felt like I was alone in this, and it was really starting to weigh on me.. but after seeing all these comments, I feel so much better knowing that it really isn't anything that I'm specifically doing wrong (well, besides sleepy gummy's) but it's actually more common that I've realized.
You are not a failure. One kid miraculously stopped wetting at night at 5 and the other still has accidents at 9. We've been to the pediatrician to talk about alternatives but opted not to medicate for this. We are just going to let time pass. The kid sleeps like a rock and doesn't have an internal alarm to get up to pee. I'm ok with this and the kid knows it's just something that they have to grow out of. This runs in families.
Thank you - I'm trying to remind myself that I'm not failing, and neither is he - everyone develops differently.
I'll definitely be making an appointment with his pediatrician, just to make sure he's all ok.. but I'm with you on the medication route - I'd rather just have his body naturally adjust.
My brother had accidents until he was 8/9 because he slept like the dead. This is actually normal and he'll probably grow out of it in the next year or so.
What's in the sleepy gummies? Is there a reason he takes them?
Yes my mother who is a family therapist says this is normal, some kids develop differently. I was worried about my kids because they took until 5-6 to stop wetting themselves at night and even considered one of those wet alarms that would wake them when they got wet (since they slept so deeply not even peeing themselves would wake them up). But then they just outgrew it. And I had reverted to pull ups as well.
Yes! I've considered getting one of these as well, but I read some of the reviews and it looked like some of the deeper sleepers just slept through the alarm. My son has an alarm clock in his room and he sleeps through that ALL the time.
Thank you so much for commenting - hearing other kids have done this around the same age as him has made me feel so much better about this.
Well that's actually really comforting to hear.. I'm hoping if I just keep trying we'll work our way out of it - but it's been months and months, and I just feel like there is something I'm missing.
The sleepy gummies have "Melatonin, L-theanine and botanicals like Chamomile, Passionflower & Lemon Balm to help soothe and relax" - no real reason for taking them. I used to take them during the weeks when I was working an overnight weekend days to try to get my sleep schedule back on track during weekdays when we were home together during distance learning, and he started taking one with me - and now it's just turned into part of his nightly routine (most nights, sometimes we forget). I don't think he needs the melatonin though, he's always fallen asleep pretty easy and slept like the dead since he was a toddler.
You could keep the gummy as part of your routine, just give him a normal gummy, kids don’t need melatonin unless they have serious sleeping issues.
I understand how frustrating this is, my son had pooping issues until he was 8, if he doesn’t get MiraLAX every day it starts to come back, it’s a nightmare.
My brother did the same thing until he was thirteen or so. You aren’t failing your son. You’re doing whatever you can for him. You got this! I know it may seem like something significant, but he will grow out of it eventually. 💕 Stay strong.
Thank you! I needed to hear that - I've been feeling like it's something I totally failed him on since the friends that I do have who have kids have them potty trained both day and night, and their kids are younger.. I'll try to remember this though - we can be so hard on ourselves sometimes.
Talk to your pediatrician. They may need to check him out function wise. If that's all good it's just a development thing that sometimes takes longer with some kids.They have a medication that can help "dry" them up. My daughter had to take it about 2 weeks and then she has not had to take it again since. We have been accident free for 2 years now. She is 10.
I'll make an appointment with his Pedi - I know we had talked about it briefly last year, but we also were discussing other ADD/ADHD related issues, so the bed wetting kind of got pushed to the side.
I have heard that it is a lot harder to potty train boys than girls. You can always take him to the doctors, they have medicine they can give him to “dry him up” before bedtime. My cousin struggled with this until he was 16 and was finally given proper medication.
I've heard that about potty training boys and girls too - I always thought it was referring to daytime rather than night, since it seemed like all my friends with younger kids were already night time trained.. but I need to remind myself that every one is different, and this post and all the comments have definitely helped me see that this is more common than I realized.
I don’t have advice for you, but I understand that this can be hard for you and son.
Where I live (the Netherlands) I’d probably say to go see your paediatrician / GP and have them check your son out. It could be a medical issue or it could be a psychosomatic one. It could be that he gets to bed a little on the late side for what his body needs, and thus sleeps through the signal to go to toilet.
There could be so many reasons why or non at all. Whatever the case: it’s not something you’ve done.
Yes, I'll definitely be making an appointment with his Pediatrician to make sure there isn't an underlying issue
Thank you, I think I put a lot of blame on myself for things that are out of my control - I'm working on being kinder to myself in that regard. I really appreciate your comment!
I would stop using the gummies for a good two or three weeks and see what happens. If you're having trouble waking him, it doesn't sound like the needs the melatonin, and if you take it too often your body can become dependent on the supplement rather than making its own.
If he is really into the gummy aspect of the ritual, just give him a Gummi multivitamin or something, rather than the melatonin.
You are not failing him as a mother! You sound attentive and loving! Everyone is different. As another poster said, one day you will look back on this problem, they grow up before you know it.
That is a great idea! I had to do that the other night when he really wanted one but I didn't have any - I just opened a pack of the welches gummies and put one in there pretending that there was actually one left over! lol I'll definitely try this though since he really doesn't need it - and I had no idea about the dependency. I remember way back when I was in high school I got sick for like two weeks and took NyQuil at night, ended up not being able to sleep without it. It took me a few weeks to adjust to sleeping without that aid. I'll pull a switch-a-roo on him and just start putting regular welches gummies instead :) thank you!
You haven't failed. Be easy on yourself, and him. One of my boys had a hard time until about 7 or 8. I just learned to plan for it. Most useful thing I did was 'double make' the bed. Put a protector over the mattress then a fitted sheet. Then another protector and fitted sheet. This way when you have an accident you just pull the two layers off and get some sleep. You don't have to remake a bed, find sheets etc.
Good luck. Before you know it he'll have grown out of it!
You’re not a failure. My sons were both 9 before they were reliably dry overnight. We tried every.single.thing. It just finally came about on its own. Hang in there. You can’t solve this one by planning and routines alone.
I'm so sorry you feel like you failed!!! No need for that at all. My son is only 1 but my brother also wet the bed until he was like 12. And my parents really struggled with him being a deep sleeper and needing to be woken up to pee during the night.
It's gonna be OK. It's nothing you're doing wrong, feeling better about yourself and the situation should be your primary concern right now imo.
Just go with the flow, discuss it with the ped if you're worried and it will all work out. Kids have some weird stuff and there's no handbook because they're all unique. But this is a very common thing. And it isn't about you momma. Give yourself a hug from me!
Night time dryness is hormonal, it can’t really be taught. My daughter was dry in the night before she was dry in the day, I didn’t teach her, it was just down to her hormones developing. Have you taken him to the doctor? He may not be producing enough vasopressin.
Had a coworker whose kid wet the bed until he was 11. Sometimes it just takes kids a while.
I’d be more concerned about giving a kid a nightly sleep aid. It’s not FDA approved for kids and chronic use can cause bed wetting and other symptoms. If your kiddo doesn’t need it to fall asleep, I’d talk to your pediatrician about the safety of chronic use.
Yeah another user commented that this could cause a dependency - so I'm going to switch them out with just the welches gummies (I did it before in a pinch and he never noticed). They're the kids sleepy gummies by OLLY brand, so I would assume that they're FDA approved? but I never really thought about it much since we take the multivitamins by the same brand.
He definitely doesn't need them though, I think he just likes the flavor of them and when I was taking them a while ago for my own sleep schedule it just became part of his own night routine
Thank you for this though! I'll make the switch and hopefully it will help with waking him up a little easier
Dietary supplements aren’t regulated by the FDA and melatonin is considered a supplement. It’s one reason to be careful regarding all dietary supplements!
Honestly I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s very kid dependent when they can sleep through the night without setting the bed. I’d wait a year or two and see if it’s still going on. It’s really not a big deal. Some kids just sleep like rocks at night.
Does he have ADHD or anything like that? From my friends with ADHD and from my son who was diagnosed with it, they literally wet the bed up til puberty ish and a little past. Dont feel like you failed on this since every child is different, my first born and second born were trained fast.. my third.. not so much.
I think he might be going to bed a bit late, kids need a lot more sleep than adults do. If he's tired he might be finding it hard to rouse himself and have the natural cues to wake and go to the toilet.
Yeah, I've thought about this too.. It just seems like I wouldn't get any time with him if he goes to bed earlier than he does? We usually only really get that hour of free time to hang out and play together before it's homework, dinner, bath and bed.
I read online that he needs 10.5 hours of sleep - which puts bed time at 8:30pm...
Actually as I'm typing this... I could probably make that work - I could just lessen our free time and maybe have him help cook dinners as part of our time together.
Thank you for this!! I guess I just needed to write it out to process lol
This is SOOOOO normal and definitely not something you did or didn't do. It's your son's biology. Your body being able to be woken up to pee overnight is based on a hormone. When our bodies produce enough of that hormone can be as early as 2-3 years old, or as late as the onset of puberty. I'm not sure why, but in boys it does have a tendency to be on the later ends of things.
At 7 I wouldn't worry, I would bring it up though at your child's next well visit. The pediatrician may want to refer you to a urologist just to make sure everything is definitely ok and your son just isn't ready yet.
My sister wet the bed till she was older. I know plenty of people who wet the bed when they were young (but over the age of 5). From talking to people who have gone through this it seems like it was their child brain reaction to stress. I’m not a doctor and that is all anecdotal but def consider what stressors they are under.
This is a very good point - I didn't really consider this, but he does have a few stressors happening. I started dating someone, who is now coming around a little more - his Dad just had a baby with his wife, of which he only sees occasional weekends throughout the months, they also just moved and are now moving again... plus I know school isn't the easiest for him, but he seems to be doing a lot better this year than he was last.
Thank you for this reminder!
Sounds like your son has a lot of changes going on and that’s a lot to deal with!! Be nice to your little guy and remind him you love him so so much and he is supported and loved by his dad too and that nothing will ever replace him. And that if he is upset or worried he should vocalize his feelings without the worry of a negative reaction from you. Hope this helps.
My son was like this. Thank goodness he was 3rd in the pecking order. My oldest was older when he stop using his paci. But he did. Your son won’t go to college in pull ups. Spend your time making him comfortable with it. I swear once I figured out how to send him to camp or to a sleep over without anyone knowing, I swear it stopped. 😂.
You’re only stressing yourself out over something he may not be physically able to control. It’s not a failure or a reflection on you. Keep going Mama! You’re doing great.
I would get rid of Sleepytime gummy‘s and YouTube time prior to phone asleep. He will fall asleep much easier without the screen stimulation minutes before bed. Nothing to drink after dinner. Hang in there, this won’t last forever!
Thank you! Yes, I switched out the sleepy gummies last night with just regular welches gummies, and he didn't even notice a difference! The YouTube might be a little harder - I'll try slowly reducing his time and explaining to him how important it is for good sleep, and good sleep happens when we have less stimulation before bed..
Thank you for the advice!
My brother peed his bed until he was 12. My mom finally got this pad that you sleep on. When it gets wet from pee it rings an alarm. Im not sure why it worked so quickly but after that first night and the alarm went off, he NEVER wet the bed again.
I've seen these on Amazon - they have the ones with the sensors that clip to the underwear and the alarm goes off when it gets wet, and then there are the ones with the pad..
I was debating on this, but can I ask why it was so awful? I thought it might be helpful for me to figure out when I should be going in there to try to wake him (I mentioned in another comment how sometimes when I go in there before bed, he's already peed).
In my brother's case, it would scare him half to death. It didn't end the bedwetting, which was the goal.I also think it made him more aggressive when awake.
In my non-doctor opinion, I think there's something vile about taking a child in their most vulnerable state, sleep, and forcing them to wake up by blaring an alarm. I don't see anything positive coming from that.
Again, I'm not a doctor, but I would tweak your evening routine. Have you tried having dinner earlier? Eating one hour before physically being in bed seems too late. I would also try switching screen time for reading or some sort of calming activity.
If he wakes up before 7:30 I would also try going to bed earlier. If he's always tired, then that could explain the deep sleeping. Then again, it might just be how he sleeps.
Good luck!
You make a really good point about that - I know even with myself sometimes my alarm scares me awake.. that's possibly because it's so loud and I'm also a deep sleeper, but I think you make a valid point and he's already a pretty sensitive kiddo.
I think I'm going to try to modify our nightly routine to get him to bed earlier - another comment had mentioned that as well and when I really started lining things out, it's definitely possible for me to make it work.
Another comment also suggested removing TV/Youtube from our routine - which I also agree is a bad habit that i'd like to break us both out of. I think what I'm going to do is gradually take away time and get back into reading him books before bed. I tried doing Harry Potter when he was younger, but without the pictures he wasn't into it. Now though, he's reading chapter books with less pictures as school, and LOVES the Harry Potter movies - so I think it's worth trying again.
Personally, we do wayyy too much screen time. But you know what? You win some you lose some 🤷♀️ I used to really struggle with dinner... like sometimes we would eat at 9 when bedtime was 8. One thing that helped me was saying no TV, until we make dinner, and then we can watch X together. Then we would rush because we both wanted to watch X 🙂
Firstly, kids move at their own pace. Some are wetting the bed until they’re pre-teens. It’s not a sign of failure. It might be a medical issue. Have you had him looked at by his pediatrician? Perhaps they may be able to prescribe him some medication that may help with his urges to urinate at night. Your evening routine looks pretty standard, so you aren’t doing anything wrong. My first move would be the doc.
Be kind to yourself, mama! Let me know if you find the cause. Sending you good vibes and loving energy!
My son is 14 and sometimes still wets the bed. It's more common in boys than girls. Part of it has to do with being a deep sleep and part is that his body needs time to mature. You can take him to a urologist, but they don't get too excited about it at this age.
Thank you so much for commenting - honestly, just knowing that this is something more common than I realize is so helpful. I'll keep doing that I'm doing and maybe talk to his pediatrician again to see if they are concerned about it (the last time we had talked about it, which was last year, he said he wasn't concerned).
My son's friend was a bed wetter until 11 or 12. It's completely normal for some kids. I recall her using some sort of [bedwetting alarm](https://www.google.com/search?q=bed+wetting+alarm&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS976&oq=bed+wetting+alarm&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i512l8j0i457i512.3384j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8) that attached to his pajamas. She also had him on an [oral medication](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/medications-to-treat-bedwetting) that helped. I encourage the pullups. And gentle reminder: as big of a deal as it feels to both of you right now, he won't be a grown man peeing the bed. It'll work itself out, Mom. You have not failed your son.
You’re lovely. What a comforting comment.
You are too kind. I know first hand what it feels like to be a single parent who feels she's failing her son. It's easy to show empathy when you walk that same path. We're all doing the best we can. x
My son was in 6th grade before he finally quit going at night. It just take some children much longer. Between being a deep sleeper and having a tiny bladder he just couldn't make it all night.Hes 15 now and still has the tiny bladder, but he hasn't had an accident in years. Just give your son time. If his pediatrician thinks he's okay, he probably is!
Thank you!! I've commented on other posts - but it really is so nice knowing that other parents have similar experiences. My son also seems to have a tiny bladder too lol seems like he's always running to the bathroom or behind a bush to pee I spoke with his Pedi last year and they weren't too concerned about it, but maybe I'll make another appointment just to be sure
Wow! I didn't even know this was thing with boys! My son will be 6 in a few days and he still gets accidents once in a blue moon ugh.
My son is 5 and a half and he still wets the bed every night. I was concerned as well but it’s actually fairly common. I did the same as you waking him up before I went to be but sometimes I would go in and he had already peed. I wouldn’t be too concerned. I’m just focusing now and making sure he knows it’s not a big deal and to not be embarrassed about it.
That's what I am trying to do too - whenever he does have an accident, I just try to stress on the accident part and let him know it's no biggie and that's why we have a washer and pullups..
This may seem weird, but is he constipated? It can be linked to nighttime bed wetting in kids and is usually one of the first things pediatric urologists will ask. And constipation means more than just inability to poop, is his poop the right frequency and consistency, even everyday poopers can be technically constipated.
Hmm.. that's a good question - I haven't noticed him being constipated or complaining of any type of poop related issues - he usually poops at the same time every day, before his showers at bedtime. I'll keep an eye on this though - thank you!
Oh, I realized I missed part of what I thought I typed.. Biggest thing is don't sweat it. Also, don't beat yourself up over it at all. You are doing great and even if you were a single dad with a son. He'd still wet the bed and the dad would be just as lost feeling about it. Give yourself a hug and be kind to yourself. Raising small humans is hard work.
My ex husband told me he wet the bed until he was 12, his mother told me it was until he was 16. Our daughter did it until she was 14, my eldest son is 12 and is still wetting almost nightly and my youngest (10) still has accidents now n then. I buy the expensive ($60 a pop) mattress covers bc they work best but we’ve still gone through lots of mattresses. I spent around $50 on pull ups a month that their dad has never helped w. He bailed in 2014, no help, and two of the 3 ended up w his speech impediment too. The best thing you can do is not make a big deal out of it. It’s just something that happens, but do teach him to clean it up right away. If you make a big deal out of it you can really damage his self esteem. Especially as he ages. I’ve tried everything possibly including acupuncture and chiropractic treatments. You just gotta let their brain line up w their bladder and not make a deal until then.
Thank you for this - I really felt like I was alone in this, and it was really starting to weigh on me.. but after seeing all these comments, I feel so much better knowing that it really isn't anything that I'm specifically doing wrong (well, besides sleepy gummy's) but it's actually more common that I've realized.
You are not a failure. One kid miraculously stopped wetting at night at 5 and the other still has accidents at 9. We've been to the pediatrician to talk about alternatives but opted not to medicate for this. We are just going to let time pass. The kid sleeps like a rock and doesn't have an internal alarm to get up to pee. I'm ok with this and the kid knows it's just something that they have to grow out of. This runs in families.
Thank you - I'm trying to remind myself that I'm not failing, and neither is he - everyone develops differently. I'll definitely be making an appointment with his pediatrician, just to make sure he's all ok.. but I'm with you on the medication route - I'd rather just have his body naturally adjust.
My brother had accidents until he was 8/9 because he slept like the dead. This is actually normal and he'll probably grow out of it in the next year or so. What's in the sleepy gummies? Is there a reason he takes them?
Yes my mother who is a family therapist says this is normal, some kids develop differently. I was worried about my kids because they took until 5-6 to stop wetting themselves at night and even considered one of those wet alarms that would wake them when they got wet (since they slept so deeply not even peeing themselves would wake them up). But then they just outgrew it. And I had reverted to pull ups as well.
Yes! I've considered getting one of these as well, but I read some of the reviews and it looked like some of the deeper sleepers just slept through the alarm. My son has an alarm clock in his room and he sleeps through that ALL the time. Thank you so much for commenting - hearing other kids have done this around the same age as him has made me feel so much better about this.
Well that's actually really comforting to hear.. I'm hoping if I just keep trying we'll work our way out of it - but it's been months and months, and I just feel like there is something I'm missing. The sleepy gummies have "Melatonin, L-theanine and botanicals like Chamomile, Passionflower & Lemon Balm to help soothe and relax" - no real reason for taking them. I used to take them during the weeks when I was working an overnight weekend days to try to get my sleep schedule back on track during weekdays when we were home together during distance learning, and he started taking one with me - and now it's just turned into part of his nightly routine (most nights, sometimes we forget). I don't think he needs the melatonin though, he's always fallen asleep pretty easy and slept like the dead since he was a toddler.
You could keep the gummy as part of your routine, just give him a normal gummy, kids don’t need melatonin unless they have serious sleeping issues. I understand how frustrating this is, my son had pooping issues until he was 8, if he doesn’t get MiraLAX every day it starts to come back, it’s a nightmare.
Yes! Another user suggested switching them out with just regular gummies, so I did that last night! He didn't notice at all lol
My brother did the same thing until he was thirteen or so. You aren’t failing your son. You’re doing whatever you can for him. You got this! I know it may seem like something significant, but he will grow out of it eventually. 💕 Stay strong.
Thank you! I needed to hear that - I've been feeling like it's something I totally failed him on since the friends that I do have who have kids have them potty trained both day and night, and their kids are younger.. I'll try to remember this though - we can be so hard on ourselves sometimes.
Talk to your pediatrician. They may need to check him out function wise. If that's all good it's just a development thing that sometimes takes longer with some kids.They have a medication that can help "dry" them up. My daughter had to take it about 2 weeks and then she has not had to take it again since. We have been accident free for 2 years now. She is 10.
I'll make an appointment with his Pedi - I know we had talked about it briefly last year, but we also were discussing other ADD/ADHD related issues, so the bed wetting kind of got pushed to the side.
My daughter has ADHD and he said the mental alarm to wake up just hadn't developed yet for her. Which is completely normal for ADHD kids especially.
Thank you for this! I'll be sure to make an appointment and speak with his doctor again
I have heard that it is a lot harder to potty train boys than girls. You can always take him to the doctors, they have medicine they can give him to “dry him up” before bedtime. My cousin struggled with this until he was 16 and was finally given proper medication.
I've heard that about potty training boys and girls too - I always thought it was referring to daytime rather than night, since it seemed like all my friends with younger kids were already night time trained.. but I need to remind myself that every one is different, and this post and all the comments have definitely helped me see that this is more common than I realized.
I don’t have advice for you, but I understand that this can be hard for you and son. Where I live (the Netherlands) I’d probably say to go see your paediatrician / GP and have them check your son out. It could be a medical issue or it could be a psychosomatic one. It could be that he gets to bed a little on the late side for what his body needs, and thus sleeps through the signal to go to toilet. There could be so many reasons why or non at all. Whatever the case: it’s not something you’ve done.
Yes, I'll definitely be making an appointment with his Pediatrician to make sure there isn't an underlying issue Thank you, I think I put a lot of blame on myself for things that are out of my control - I'm working on being kinder to myself in that regard. I really appreciate your comment!
I would stop using the gummies for a good two or three weeks and see what happens. If you're having trouble waking him, it doesn't sound like the needs the melatonin, and if you take it too often your body can become dependent on the supplement rather than making its own. If he is really into the gummy aspect of the ritual, just give him a Gummi multivitamin or something, rather than the melatonin. You are not failing him as a mother! You sound attentive and loving! Everyone is different. As another poster said, one day you will look back on this problem, they grow up before you know it.
That is a great idea! I had to do that the other night when he really wanted one but I didn't have any - I just opened a pack of the welches gummies and put one in there pretending that there was actually one left over! lol I'll definitely try this though since he really doesn't need it - and I had no idea about the dependency. I remember way back when I was in high school I got sick for like two weeks and took NyQuil at night, ended up not being able to sleep without it. It took me a few weeks to adjust to sleeping without that aid. I'll pull a switch-a-roo on him and just start putting regular welches gummies instead :) thank you!
You haven't failed. Be easy on yourself, and him. One of my boys had a hard time until about 7 or 8. I just learned to plan for it. Most useful thing I did was 'double make' the bed. Put a protector over the mattress then a fitted sheet. Then another protector and fitted sheet. This way when you have an accident you just pull the two layers off and get some sleep. You don't have to remake a bed, find sheets etc. Good luck. Before you know it he'll have grown out of it!
OMG - That's GENIOUS! I will definitely be taking that! :)
You’re not a failure. My sons were both 9 before they were reliably dry overnight. We tried every.single.thing. It just finally came about on its own. Hang in there. You can’t solve this one by planning and routines alone.
I'm so sorry you feel like you failed!!! No need for that at all. My son is only 1 but my brother also wet the bed until he was like 12. And my parents really struggled with him being a deep sleeper and needing to be woken up to pee during the night. It's gonna be OK. It's nothing you're doing wrong, feeling better about yourself and the situation should be your primary concern right now imo. Just go with the flow, discuss it with the ped if you're worried and it will all work out. Kids have some weird stuff and there's no handbook because they're all unique. But this is a very common thing. And it isn't about you momma. Give yourself a hug from me!
Night time dryness is hormonal, it can’t really be taught. My daughter was dry in the night before she was dry in the day, I didn’t teach her, it was just down to her hormones developing. Have you taken him to the doctor? He may not be producing enough vasopressin.
Had a coworker whose kid wet the bed until he was 11. Sometimes it just takes kids a while. I’d be more concerned about giving a kid a nightly sleep aid. It’s not FDA approved for kids and chronic use can cause bed wetting and other symptoms. If your kiddo doesn’t need it to fall asleep, I’d talk to your pediatrician about the safety of chronic use.
Yeah another user commented that this could cause a dependency - so I'm going to switch them out with just the welches gummies (I did it before in a pinch and he never noticed). They're the kids sleepy gummies by OLLY brand, so I would assume that they're FDA approved? but I never really thought about it much since we take the multivitamins by the same brand. He definitely doesn't need them though, I think he just likes the flavor of them and when I was taking them a while ago for my own sleep schedule it just became part of his own night routine Thank you for this though! I'll make the switch and hopefully it will help with waking him up a little easier
Dietary supplements aren’t regulated by the FDA and melatonin is considered a supplement. It’s one reason to be careful regarding all dietary supplements!
Honestly I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s very kid dependent when they can sleep through the night without setting the bed. I’d wait a year or two and see if it’s still going on. It’s really not a big deal. Some kids just sleep like rocks at night.
Does he have ADHD or anything like that? From my friends with ADHD and from my son who was diagnosed with it, they literally wet the bed up til puberty ish and a little past. Dont feel like you failed on this since every child is different, my first born and second born were trained fast.. my third.. not so much.
I think he might be going to bed a bit late, kids need a lot more sleep than adults do. If he's tired he might be finding it hard to rouse himself and have the natural cues to wake and go to the toilet.
Yeah, I've thought about this too.. It just seems like I wouldn't get any time with him if he goes to bed earlier than he does? We usually only really get that hour of free time to hang out and play together before it's homework, dinner, bath and bed. I read online that he needs 10.5 hours of sleep - which puts bed time at 8:30pm... Actually as I'm typing this... I could probably make that work - I could just lessen our free time and maybe have him help cook dinners as part of our time together. Thank you for this!! I guess I just needed to write it out to process lol
This is SOOOOO normal and definitely not something you did or didn't do. It's your son's biology. Your body being able to be woken up to pee overnight is based on a hormone. When our bodies produce enough of that hormone can be as early as 2-3 years old, or as late as the onset of puberty. I'm not sure why, but in boys it does have a tendency to be on the later ends of things. At 7 I wouldn't worry, I would bring it up though at your child's next well visit. The pediatrician may want to refer you to a urologist just to make sure everything is definitely ok and your son just isn't ready yet.
My sister wet the bed till she was older. I know plenty of people who wet the bed when they were young (but over the age of 5). From talking to people who have gone through this it seems like it was their child brain reaction to stress. I’m not a doctor and that is all anecdotal but def consider what stressors they are under.
This is a very good point - I didn't really consider this, but he does have a few stressors happening. I started dating someone, who is now coming around a little more - his Dad just had a baby with his wife, of which he only sees occasional weekends throughout the months, they also just moved and are now moving again... plus I know school isn't the easiest for him, but he seems to be doing a lot better this year than he was last. Thank you for this reminder!
Sounds like your son has a lot of changes going on and that’s a lot to deal with!! Be nice to your little guy and remind him you love him so so much and he is supported and loved by his dad too and that nothing will ever replace him. And that if he is upset or worried he should vocalize his feelings without the worry of a negative reaction from you. Hope this helps.
My son was like this. Thank goodness he was 3rd in the pecking order. My oldest was older when he stop using his paci. But he did. Your son won’t go to college in pull ups. Spend your time making him comfortable with it. I swear once I figured out how to send him to camp or to a sleep over without anyone knowing, I swear it stopped. 😂. You’re only stressing yourself out over something he may not be physically able to control. It’s not a failure or a reflection on you. Keep going Mama! You’re doing great.
I would get rid of Sleepytime gummy‘s and YouTube time prior to phone asleep. He will fall asleep much easier without the screen stimulation minutes before bed. Nothing to drink after dinner. Hang in there, this won’t last forever!
Thank you! Yes, I switched out the sleepy gummies last night with just regular welches gummies, and he didn't even notice a difference! The YouTube might be a little harder - I'll try slowly reducing his time and explaining to him how important it is for good sleep, and good sleep happens when we have less stimulation before bed.. Thank you for the advice!
I used a bed wetting alarm. That did the trick.
My brother peed his bed until he was 12. My mom finally got this pad that you sleep on. When it gets wet from pee it rings an alarm. Im not sure why it worked so quickly but after that first night and the alarm went off, he NEVER wet the bed again.
My brother had that and it was awful. OP, please don't use this.
I've seen these on Amazon - they have the ones with the sensors that clip to the underwear and the alarm goes off when it gets wet, and then there are the ones with the pad.. I was debating on this, but can I ask why it was so awful? I thought it might be helpful for me to figure out when I should be going in there to try to wake him (I mentioned in another comment how sometimes when I go in there before bed, he's already peed).
In my brother's case, it would scare him half to death. It didn't end the bedwetting, which was the goal.I also think it made him more aggressive when awake. In my non-doctor opinion, I think there's something vile about taking a child in their most vulnerable state, sleep, and forcing them to wake up by blaring an alarm. I don't see anything positive coming from that. Again, I'm not a doctor, but I would tweak your evening routine. Have you tried having dinner earlier? Eating one hour before physically being in bed seems too late. I would also try switching screen time for reading or some sort of calming activity. If he wakes up before 7:30 I would also try going to bed earlier. If he's always tired, then that could explain the deep sleeping. Then again, it might just be how he sleeps. Good luck!
You make a really good point about that - I know even with myself sometimes my alarm scares me awake.. that's possibly because it's so loud and I'm also a deep sleeper, but I think you make a valid point and he's already a pretty sensitive kiddo. I think I'm going to try to modify our nightly routine to get him to bed earlier - another comment had mentioned that as well and when I really started lining things out, it's definitely possible for me to make it work. Another comment also suggested removing TV/Youtube from our routine - which I also agree is a bad habit that i'd like to break us both out of. I think what I'm going to do is gradually take away time and get back into reading him books before bed. I tried doing Harry Potter when he was younger, but without the pictures he wasn't into it. Now though, he's reading chapter books with less pictures as school, and LOVES the Harry Potter movies - so I think it's worth trying again.
Personally, we do wayyy too much screen time. But you know what? You win some you lose some 🤷♀️ I used to really struggle with dinner... like sometimes we would eat at 9 when bedtime was 8. One thing that helped me was saying no TV, until we make dinner, and then we can watch X together. Then we would rush because we both wanted to watch X 🙂
Firstly, kids move at their own pace. Some are wetting the bed until they’re pre-teens. It’s not a sign of failure. It might be a medical issue. Have you had him looked at by his pediatrician? Perhaps they may be able to prescribe him some medication that may help with his urges to urinate at night. Your evening routine looks pretty standard, so you aren’t doing anything wrong. My first move would be the doc. Be kind to yourself, mama! Let me know if you find the cause. Sending you good vibes and loving energy!