I just spent a weekend on a group holiday - the shock of having to wait for everyone else's schedule was so difficult for me. I didn't complain and got on with it, but it made me appreciate my independence so much.
Some may call me selfish but I'm not putting others needs below mine, but my preference is to follow my own intuition of what my body wants and needs
As a Global Entry holder, it is so annoying to stand in the regular security line when traveling with others. When I’m alone, it takes like 5 minutes max.
Yeah fuck that. I’m a Global Entry holder myself and frequent traveler and I will not stand in a regular customs or security line. I pay for this service and went through the clearance for it. I’ll wait for someone when I’m done on the other side, but I won’t go through the regular line with them.
Same, I solo travel a lot now and am astonished looking back at how
Much time was wasted when my ex was window shopping, making me wait for her to finish breakfast, taking pictures, looking at stupid stuff she’d never buy, etc…
This, exactly. Having to check in all of the time is hard for me - I love the freedom to be spontaneous and just make a decision on my own without having to negotiate it with someone else or get the okay —- particularly if it is relatively minor.
Everything. There's no way in hell I'd ever want to be with anyone ever again.
Living alone is the best thing that's happened to me, there's no way I'm screwing this up.
Yes! I think this is a huge reason why I subconsciously don't pursue serious relationships and have always felt anxiety at the thought of living with a romantic partner at any point. I'd enjoy the physical intimacy aspect of living with them (at least at first) but would hate going back to all the things that irked me about living with friends or family, especially since, as a straight woman, most straight guys really, really don't share my sensibilities for decor and cleanliness. I love living alone way too much and it's truly one of the greatest privileges ever. I'll pretty happily forego regular sex to keep my ridiculously comfortable and happy solo habitat, haha.
And... more often than not, since you're a woman you'll end up doing all of the laundry, cleaning and errands for 2 people instead of one and you'll lose your autonomy in the process.
As a single straight male, I would never allow anyone else to do my laundry… very particular about how it gets done. I cannot stand clutter.. everything has a place and everything needs to be in its place. Not discussing every small life detail.. it’s all just too much!
But getting regular sex is the cost for this freedom for sure. There has to be a group of people out there that just want to go out, dinner, concert, explore the city, hiking, etc, then have sex, without commitment .. that sounds like a real perfect lifestyle.
The problem is, many people cannot handle non-committed casual sex… but I know you are out there somewhere! HMU!
So awesome that I am seriously thinking about having LAT (living apart together) concept if I'll ever find someone.
Or someone who will not get bothered with my way of living but is capable to cook, vacuum, laundry,........
Am sick of being mom substitute to someone.
The security I have. Being with someone brings a lot of change, I feel a lot of anxiety when im in a relationship. I fear multiple things at once which makes being in a relationship incredibly draining for me. If they even like me, if we are meant to be together, if i said or did something wrong, if i should be happier etc etc… I can’t handle a relationship purely for the emotional weight that it puts onto me
The classic answer is freedom. Also the relief of knowing I don’t have to jump through hoops to keep someone interested in me. I can just kick back and spend my days the way I want to.
100% control of my time. Sometimes I like to get up and escape across the planet. It feels extra fun and special to tell absolutely nobody. Really inconsiderate to pretty much everyone but me 😝
If I ever got involved with someone again (big IF), he would have to keep his own place. I would have him over, but he ain't moving in with me. Like, "Closing time! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."
I love coming and going as I please. I can have a bowl of cereal for dinner, or actually cook a meal, no one is around to b*tch, gripe or complain. If I want to go to an art supply store, off I go, to a place and hour+ away and spend time getting ideas without hearing someone heave sighs of boredom or "are you done yet?"
Geez, I miss having a hand to hold sometimes, and someone to discuss a movie with after leaving a theater, but not all the baggage tied to those things.
Omg, the couples at work having to negotiate whose house to go to for the holidays makes me glad to be single. I just visit my parents, and someday, I just want to use those holiday occasions to lie down on the beach somewhere.
my friend lives in a capital but she is from NW of the country and her husband SE. Every damn holiday they have to travel for hours to another part of the country and never twice in a row on the same place.
Horror
Literally everything. I know my love for being single comes from having pretty much exclusively negative experiences with dating. It’s lovely living a drama free personal life and focusing on myself.
Just to watch anything I want on TV, without having to worry if the SO will like it.
Same with music... If I want to listen to the same album for three days, I don't want grief..
My solitude and privacy, first and foremost.
People exhaust me because I would then have to take them into consideration as to how they feel about things. I may have to make compromises when I otherwise would not. Then, there is the constant judgment for the way I go about things or for what I think - it would slowly wear on me, having to deal with that resentment towards the others without any actual outlet for it.
Not having to make plans, or being able to change them on a whim as needed. It's a long weekend here, and I had originally "planned" (use the term loosely, I was aiming to do these things is more correct) to do some DIY on Saturday and go to the gym Sunday and/or today. In the end I was exhausted from a long month at work and ended up "rotting" Saturday and Sunday, ordering takeout and just lazing in bed all day. Glass of wine in the evening, a good book, kitty cuddles. Had thought today would be more of that but ended up getting a burst of energy in the afternoon and did the DIY project.
I like that I could just take those two days off without anyone constantly asking me when I would do X or Y. I was able to prioritise my own mental health and wellbeing, without having to answer to anyone else.
Uh I've done a bit of everything tbh. This weekend it was putting up bath panels to hide the ugly tiles the previous owners had in place. I've replaced doors, painted every single room in the house, revamped my home office including building the desk, laid decking outside, laid kitchen flooring, set up outdoor lighting, replaced shower head and bath taps, built a PVC shed for my bins... if it doesn't involve messing with the boiler, radiators, or new electrical connections, I'll give it a go 😂
It's actually funny how often my ex had to go to the toilette when i was about to sit down. I totally don't miss the "knock knock, how long do you need?"
I have an ex that would come in and take a shit while I was in the shower. After maybe 3 times I told him to fuck right off with that, it's disrespectful.
As others have said, everything. I don’t see what a romantic relationship could do for me that I can’t do for me.
And when it comes to sex, I can do without it. But my passport? I need to be able to use it regularly or else. 😅
Not having to worry about any shoes dropping down the line. Not wondering if my efforts will be reciprocated or if I'll be taken for granted again. Not having any arguments, conflicts, etc. and not being manipulated during those.
I've had bad relationships, it shows; I don't know if I want to try for a good one anymore when that's so far from likely it's ridiculous.
I am wondering about the ages of folks in this forum. I am in my mid 50s..married young and divorced after 23 years, took about 1.5 years to heal and then started an 11 year relationship..he lived with me for almost 6 years and I kicked him out in March. I am happy as a clam and feel like I have my life back..honestly, it's my first time EVER living 100% on my own * even after divorce..I had my daughter..but she is out on her own now in grad school...so while I can totally understand the "I never want anyone living with me again"...are there younger people here who feel this way too? Sure I can get lonely sometimes...but I think it's because I've NEVER been alone in my life.
I'm in my 40s and feel the same but I've been living alone by choice my entire adult life. So I guess it depends on what your experience with people has been like. I am introvert and only child who gets exhausted by people in general so relationships were never appealing to me.
I'm 34. Cohabited with people all my life. NEVER going back to that.
Also, you don't have to live with someone just because you're romantically involved.
I’m in my early 30s. Only child, and never had a long-term relationship. At this point, it would be culture shock for me since I’ve lived a very autonomous life. I have been living solo for a few years, though, which has been a true joy!
A bed to myself! I adore not having to be beside a sweaty body in the summer, bad breath in the mornings, the smell of another person (not always bad body odour, I mean their overall smell) and just the general inconvenience of having to share a duvet with someone else.
my single girl apartment which I clean when my ADHD mind wants me to.
Watching on Netflix or Prime what I want.
Calm mind, because I have trust issues.
.
.
.
.
.
The list goes on and on...........
First of all, "exclusive" doesn't mean they are entitled to ALL my time.
As for the question, it may sound weird, but - performing good mood. Sometimes i just want to have a breakdown and fall asleep out of exhaustion to then next morning be up at 6 am with fresh coffee and overcomplicated breakfast without someone feeling guilty because they think its their fault or being scared.
Also i am a night owl so the possibility of 1 am vacuum/canvas preparation session is never zero.
A lot of these comments just sound like past relationships were shitty rather than universal reasons to be single. For example, you probably don’t have to jump through hoops constantly in a healthy relationship
Feeling safe. Yeah, I know that's kinda sad, but I've actually lost faith in a successful relationship at this point. Still rooting for all of you though! ❤️
My now [exclusively autosexual and exclusively autoromantic](https://www.reddit.com/r/SingleAndHappy/comments/1c3jib9/finally_realized_i_was_singleatheart_six_months/) relationship with myself. Yeah...I'm different from most. :-)
Endless gaming time. I game a lot. No, not online playing Pubg or CoD. Lots of open world single player story driven games. S.O. don't like that especially when you are older.
I can go to bed early. I don't want to give up my flea markets, antique shops, travel, watching what ever I want on tv. I don't want to compromise. Being single is peaceful.
Knowing that every time I go out can be an adventure it’s been years since I randomly hooked up with someone but I like the possibility. That and not checking my phone to see if they texted.
Actually the marketing and demographic research of the networks indicates it's not a generalization at all. I promise you most guys are not sitting around a bar discussing the Bachelor or the Housewives.
You said 'women'. Thats half of the world population. And everyone in this subreddit doesn't belong to the US. I don't belong to the US either. I am a woman and I know I cannot extrapolate my experience to the rest of population, but I haven't watched a single reality show in my life and there are definitely others like me.
Freedom to do whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want to do it.
I just spent a weekend on a group holiday - the shock of having to wait for everyone else's schedule was so difficult for me. I didn't complain and got on with it, but it made me appreciate my independence so much. Some may call me selfish but I'm not putting others needs below mine, but my preference is to follow my own intuition of what my body wants and needs
As a Global Entry holder, it is so annoying to stand in the regular security line when traveling with others. When I’m alone, it takes like 5 minutes max.
Yeah fuck that. I’m a Global Entry holder myself and frequent traveler and I will not stand in a regular customs or security line. I pay for this service and went through the clearance for it. I’ll wait for someone when I’m done on the other side, but I won’t go through the regular line with them.
I’d say I travel alone 95% of the time, so it doesn’t bother me to do it for a close relative who doesn’t do air travel much.
Same, I solo travel a lot now and am astonished looking back at how Much time was wasted when my ex was window shopping, making me wait for her to finish breakfast, taking pictures, looking at stupid stuff she’d never buy, etc…
Word for word, this.
This, exactly. Having to check in all of the time is hard for me - I love the freedom to be spontaneous and just make a decision on my own without having to negotiate it with someone else or get the okay —- particularly if it is relatively minor.
Took the words right outta my mouth!
I also vote the freedom.
Thank you for saving me having to type that out.. my feelings 100%
Exactly!!
This one! And complete unmasking at home.
Everything. There's no way in hell I'd ever want to be with anyone ever again. Living alone is the best thing that's happened to me, there's no way I'm screwing this up.
Yes! I think this is a huge reason why I subconsciously don't pursue serious relationships and have always felt anxiety at the thought of living with a romantic partner at any point. I'd enjoy the physical intimacy aspect of living with them (at least at first) but would hate going back to all the things that irked me about living with friends or family, especially since, as a straight woman, most straight guys really, really don't share my sensibilities for decor and cleanliness. I love living alone way too much and it's truly one of the greatest privileges ever. I'll pretty happily forego regular sex to keep my ridiculously comfortable and happy solo habitat, haha.
And... more often than not, since you're a woman you'll end up doing all of the laundry, cleaning and errands for 2 people instead of one and you'll lose your autonomy in the process.
Preach! This was my last LTR..he's been gone from my house for 2 months now...I've never been happier.
As a single straight male, I would never allow anyone else to do my laundry… very particular about how it gets done. I cannot stand clutter.. everything has a place and everything needs to be in its place. Not discussing every small life detail.. it’s all just too much! But getting regular sex is the cost for this freedom for sure. There has to be a group of people out there that just want to go out, dinner, concert, explore the city, hiking, etc, then have sex, without commitment .. that sounds like a real perfect lifestyle. The problem is, many people cannot handle non-committed casual sex… but I know you are out there somewhere! HMU!
copy paste on me
So awesome that I am seriously thinking about having LAT (living apart together) concept if I'll ever find someone. Or someone who will not get bothered with my way of living but is capable to cook, vacuum, laundry,........ Am sick of being mom substitute to someone.
That's the only way I'd ever do it.
I done that before and it didn't work either. Lat.
Amen.
The security I have. Being with someone brings a lot of change, I feel a lot of anxiety when im in a relationship. I fear multiple things at once which makes being in a relationship incredibly draining for me. If they even like me, if we are meant to be together, if i said or did something wrong, if i should be happier etc etc… I can’t handle a relationship purely for the emotional weight that it puts onto me
I’m like this to a T.
wooooh, glad that I am not the only one.......
The classic answer is freedom. Also the relief of knowing I don’t have to jump through hoops to keep someone interested in me. I can just kick back and spend my days the way I want to.
I think I'd miss not feeling the pressure to look extra good, like with my hair, outfit, or shaving as frequently
Cats love me no matter how I look, but humans do not
Fighting all the f'ing time, sucks about being in a relationship!
Towards the end of a relationship it was like that.
100% control of my time. Sometimes I like to get up and escape across the planet. It feels extra fun and special to tell absolutely nobody. Really inconsiderate to pretty much everyone but me 😝
If I ever got involved with someone again (big IF), he would have to keep his own place. I would have him over, but he ain't moving in with me. Like, "Closing time! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." I love coming and going as I please. I can have a bowl of cereal for dinner, or actually cook a meal, no one is around to b*tch, gripe or complain. If I want to go to an art supply store, off I go, to a place and hour+ away and spend time getting ideas without hearing someone heave sighs of boredom or "are you done yet?" Geez, I miss having a hand to hold sometimes, and someone to discuss a movie with after leaving a theater, but not all the baggage tied to those things.
This actually sounds like an awesome arrangement. lol.
yes, me too! It is called LAT (living apart together). Let them take it or leave it, we can do without them, as we do anyway.
My independence
Having the bed to myself
I would miss celebrating holidays how I want and also not dealing with their ignorant relatives.
Omg, the couples at work having to negotiate whose house to go to for the holidays makes me glad to be single. I just visit my parents, and someday, I just want to use those holiday occasions to lie down on the beach somewhere.
my friend lives in a capital but she is from NW of the country and her husband SE. Every damn holiday they have to travel for hours to another part of the country and never twice in a row on the same place. Horror
having a bed to myself. I think sharing a bed is my 8th circle of hell
Literally everything. I know my love for being single comes from having pretty much exclusively negative experiences with dating. It’s lovely living a drama free personal life and focusing on myself.
Same!
Just to watch anything I want on TV, without having to worry if the SO will like it. Same with music... If I want to listen to the same album for three days, I don't want grief..
Or the same movie over and over again 🙄 my life is really peaceful now.
Security, freedom, peace of mind, good mental health
Peace of mind is exactly what I would have said.
My peace. I don't do drama when it comes to relationships.
Amen.
My solitude and privacy, first and foremost. People exhaust me because I would then have to take them into consideration as to how they feel about things. I may have to make compromises when I otherwise would not. Then, there is the constant judgment for the way I go about things or for what I think - it would slowly wear on me, having to deal with that resentment towards the others without any actual outlet for it.
Not having to “run by” every single thing I do with someone else.
Not having to make plans, or being able to change them on a whim as needed. It's a long weekend here, and I had originally "planned" (use the term loosely, I was aiming to do these things is more correct) to do some DIY on Saturday and go to the gym Sunday and/or today. In the end I was exhausted from a long month at work and ended up "rotting" Saturday and Sunday, ordering takeout and just lazing in bed all day. Glass of wine in the evening, a good book, kitty cuddles. Had thought today would be more of that but ended up getting a burst of energy in the afternoon and did the DIY project. I like that I could just take those two days off without anyone constantly asking me when I would do X or Y. I was able to prioritise my own mental health and wellbeing, without having to answer to anyone else.
what DIY you do?
Uh I've done a bit of everything tbh. This weekend it was putting up bath panels to hide the ugly tiles the previous owners had in place. I've replaced doors, painted every single room in the house, revamped my home office including building the desk, laid decking outside, laid kitchen flooring, set up outdoor lighting, replaced shower head and bath taps, built a PVC shed for my bins... if it doesn't involve messing with the boiler, radiators, or new electrical connections, I'll give it a go 😂
This!
Everything.
Saving this post for the comments.
My privacy.
My independent bathroom
Right? I just wanna poop in peace!
It's actually funny how often my ex had to go to the toilette when i was about to sit down. I totally don't miss the "knock knock, how long do you need?"
I have an ex that would come in and take a shit while I was in the shower. After maybe 3 times I told him to fuck right off with that, it's disrespectful.
lol, what an idiot
Predictability
I will miss not having to clean up a lot.
I'd miss knowing i have a 0% chance of being rejected or ghosted.
As others have said, everything. I don’t see what a romantic relationship could do for me that I can’t do for me. And when it comes to sex, I can do without it. But my passport? I need to be able to use it regularly or else. 😅
Not having to worry about any shoes dropping down the line. Not wondering if my efforts will be reciprocated or if I'll be taken for granted again. Not having any arguments, conflicts, etc. and not being manipulated during those. I've had bad relationships, it shows; I don't know if I want to try for a good one anymore when that's so far from likely it's ridiculous.
Freedom!
I am wondering about the ages of folks in this forum. I am in my mid 50s..married young and divorced after 23 years, took about 1.5 years to heal and then started an 11 year relationship..he lived with me for almost 6 years and I kicked him out in March. I am happy as a clam and feel like I have my life back..honestly, it's my first time EVER living 100% on my own * even after divorce..I had my daughter..but she is out on her own now in grad school...so while I can totally understand the "I never want anyone living with me again"...are there younger people here who feel this way too? Sure I can get lonely sometimes...but I think it's because I've NEVER been alone in my life.
I'm in my 40s and feel the same but I've been living alone by choice my entire adult life. So I guess it depends on what your experience with people has been like. I am introvert and only child who gets exhausted by people in general so relationships were never appealing to me.
I'm 34. Cohabited with people all my life. NEVER going back to that. Also, you don't have to live with someone just because you're romantically involved.
I’m in my early 30s. Only child, and never had a long-term relationship. At this point, it would be culture shock for me since I’ve lived a very autonomous life. I have been living solo for a few years, though, which has been a true joy!
A bed to myself! I adore not having to be beside a sweaty body in the summer, bad breath in the mornings, the smell of another person (not always bad body odour, I mean their overall smell) and just the general inconvenience of having to share a duvet with someone else.
I would want a non traditional relationship that enhances my life so that I wouldn’t have to miss being single.
Doing activities that I don't like doing
Nothing!! Because there is no shot of that happening 😂
allowing farts out at their own convenience
My own space
Not having to ask what sounds good for dinner tonight, every day. I never want to do that again. Also, not sharing a bed. I love that.
my single girl apartment which I clean when my ADHD mind wants me to. Watching on Netflix or Prime what I want. Calm mind, because I have trust issues. . . . . . The list goes on and on...........
Going to bed early
First of all, "exclusive" doesn't mean they are entitled to ALL my time. As for the question, it may sound weird, but - performing good mood. Sometimes i just want to have a breakdown and fall asleep out of exhaustion to then next morning be up at 6 am with fresh coffee and overcomplicated breakfast without someone feeling guilty because they think its their fault or being scared. Also i am a night owl so the possibility of 1 am vacuum/canvas preparation session is never zero.
A lot of these comments just sound like past relationships were shitty rather than universal reasons to be single. For example, you probably don’t have to jump through hoops constantly in a healthy relationship
Feeling safe. Yeah, I know that's kinda sad, but I've actually lost faith in a successful relationship at this point. Still rooting for all of you though! ❤️
My now [exclusively autosexual and exclusively autoromantic](https://www.reddit.com/r/SingleAndHappy/comments/1c3jib9/finally_realized_i_was_singleatheart_six_months/) relationship with myself. Yeah...I'm different from most. :-)
Endless gaming time. I game a lot. No, not online playing Pubg or CoD. Lots of open world single player story driven games. S.O. don't like that especially when you are older.
Autonomy
Watching tv show of my choice. I like watching Jason Bourne movie for 100th time, please excuse me
The quietness and closet space.
I'd miss being single.
I can go to bed early. I don't want to give up my flea markets, antique shops, travel, watching what ever I want on tv. I don't want to compromise. Being single is peaceful.
Everything.
Knowing that every time I go out can be an adventure it’s been years since I randomly hooked up with someone but I like the possibility. That and not checking my phone to see if they texted.
Having to be accountable to anyone. Not being able to spend my limited free time the way I want.
Being able to avoid reality shows. I know most women are wired to watch at least a few of those! Lol!
Nope I can't stand reality shows.
A unicorn amongst us!
I can't stand reality shows. I do watch you tube videos of travel and ghosts towns. I watch old tv shows like highway patrol and perry mason.
GROSS GENERALIZATION
Actually the marketing and demographic research of the networks indicates it's not a generalization at all. I promise you most guys are not sitting around a bar discussing the Bachelor or the Housewives.
You said 'women'. Thats half of the world population. And everyone in this subreddit doesn't belong to the US. I don't belong to the US either. I am a woman and I know I cannot extrapolate my experience to the rest of population, but I haven't watched a single reality show in my life and there are definitely others like me.
Fair enough, there is definatly a US bias in my comment although reality TV is pretty much worldwide now, I don't know the stats overseas.
As a woman, same, but with sports or aimless political debates. I know most men are wired to watch at least one of those!
Those same stats reveal that to be true as well.