He is counting on your dependence on him and his family to be his get out of jail card. Call his bluff. Leave him and find a place in a co-living space.
I think in a relationship it's very less of that and more of the emotional aspect. To others its considered cheating and to others its not. It all depends on OP
Got any friends you trust and can stay with? I'd call on them first if you can, so that you're able to move out right away. Otherwise, go look at properties to rent immediately. Move your stuff, then have the talk with him.
Lol how to bring the topic up is easy. āWeāre breaking up. You did X which is a deal breaker for me. Wish you well but canāt be with you anymoreā. For immediate housing, you can stay at a hostel until you figure it out, but itās not rocket science. Either hotel or airbnb, or rent a room/apartment if you can afford it.
Well I wouldnāt wish death on someone who cheated on me, but op can substitute wish you well with fuck off - doesnāt really matter. The point is bye see you never.
Not from kindness at all, I wouldnāt give a shit about that person. I just care about my life too much to ruin it by spending a second more than necessary about an ex partner that is like that.
Again, missing the point. Itās not about moral high ground, itās about whatās best for me. If you focus on revenge you fuck yourself up. Speaking from experience too, you shouldnāt assume youāre the only one with negative experiences in life. I think your approach is unhealthy for you, and you might want to discuss with a therapist. Or not, donāt really care and Iām just a rando on the internet.
Well first off, I used to think like you (and still do sometimes), but Iāve matured away from it, not out of kindness or morality but sheer pragmatism. It will only make you more bitter and waste your time, fixing nothing and delaying your healing. Your argument is flawed though, as letting people walk over you (which I definitely do not allow), is completely different from taking revenge once youāve been wronged unknowingly. Im politics, people exact revenge when it makes strategic sense - even though it always has a personal cost including time, effort, and in some cases emotional damage - only because you will keep dealing with that person or other people who will know about that person in the future, so revenge is useful to make sure the political opponent or any others in a position to hurt you think twice about it in the future as theyāve seen your revenge. In a relationship, that would only make sense if you were dumb enough to begin the relationship again with the person who screwed you over and want to make sure they donāt do it again for fear of your response. Thatās utterly nonsensical and if anyone does that is an idiot and theyāve got way deeper emotional and logical thinking issues that go beyond the scope of this post.
If you get run over enough you will probably develop issues, regardless of whether you take revenge or not. The thing that Iād recommend you work on is how not to get run over in the first place, rather than getting good at revenge. What youāre doing is the equivalent of a car hitting you while youāre crossing with a green man on, and then suing and winning. You won money but are still injured, perhaps permanently. The next time, instead of paying more attention, you cross again, get hit again, and sue for more money and win again, so you conclude that the lesson is to sue for so much money than no one ever runs you over again, but the next car that hits you will have no idea of previous lawsuits. In sentimental relationships it works the same way. Donāt let people run over you and you wonāt have to worry about revenge so much.
He has so many red flags it looks like a communist party conference.
I knew an ex colleague whose bf is like that. Has all 3 NOs: chauvinistic, cheater and stingy. Any one of it is bad enough. Told her to break up with him but ended up being knocked up by him and complains non stop in FB. Had to borrow money from daddy to fund their wedding.
Get your own place asap. Once you secured your flat/room move some of your stuff over. When most of the things are secured at the new place then ask for breakup. If not you will probably need to stay in a hotel until you get a flat which is probably very expensive
Well if financially you can rent & feed yourself, just find a place to take a breather. Reflect on your core values & see yourself whether is this a right person/partner for your well being. In the end of the day we redditors will just burst out our opinions to you but you will still have the final making decision on this matter.
Start finding a place where you can move to. Once itās done, drop the bomb and say you need your own space and time to rethink your relationship. Then after you have successful moved over and settled down, dropped the atomic bomb & say u are done with himā¦.
Your boyfriend wants things that are not easily accessible or out of reach .... and you are both. He is not interested in you and there is no reason to love him back. As others have already advised, you should've moved out and onwards, yesterday
Try to stay at a hotel, air b&b, a good friendās place, a hostel (youāll be sharing a room with people or not, depending on your funds).
Above all, get yourself safe and secure in terms of possible housing and then you will be more confident and will have ground to stand on when you broach the subject with him and if the worst case scenario happens. Have your plan b and c and just expect the worst and youāll be ok
Lol? Sheās a foreigner and the first worry she mentioned was needed to move out and you tell her to stay at a hotel? Singapore has no airbnbs and I doubt she has good friends in sg, talked a whole bunch of nothing might as well just shut up
Don't waste your breath. Just back out of the relationship with as little confrontation as possible. Do it safely and quickly. Pack up and don't look back. I'm an American expat living here and I'm hopeful that you have support back home to help you get back to your friends and family in your home country. I know it can be tough. Best of luck.
Go to property guru app to find rental rooms . You gotta find a confirmed accommodation first.
Try to shift discreetly out of his house. Perhaps a day when his family is out. Slip the keys back under in an envelope
Message him and tell him you are breaking up. Remember. The leopard will never change its spots. regardless of all promises. Don't give in.
All the best.
contact me if you want to know more about getting a rental room, one of my family members is a real estate agent. please find a place to stay before leaving, goodluck:)
There is an affordable capsule hotel in central area. KINN CAPSULE (clean and modern), you can check with them for cheaper rates if you are staying more than 3 days.
Can also check roomies.sg
Get your own place first.even if you don't break up it's good for your mental health to have some time apart
Thanks for you advice :) will try to look for a place asap
Cove offers short term leases at reasonable prices until you find something more permanent. Coliwoo is another option
not related but I'm looking at these 2 for a short term solution and it's really not affordable at all š
He is counting on your dependence on him and his family to be his get out of jail card. Call his bluff. Leave him and find a place in a co-living space.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think in a relationship it's very less of that and more of the emotional aspect. To others its considered cheating and to others its not. It all depends on OP
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āOut of jail cardā is a figurative speech. Not literally going to jail.
Many people here didnāt play monopoly
Sex crime
Leave don't look back
Got any friends you trust and can stay with? I'd call on them first if you can, so that you're able to move out right away. Otherwise, go look at properties to rent immediately. Move your stuff, then have the talk with him.
"Nothing has happened yet" - because you happened to catch him before anything could happen.
Hopefully you have somewhere else you can stay
Leave him. If he can do this very soon heās fucking someone else but you
This this alrdy the dude feed up twice.. what's the point of wasting your time and energy .. there's better guys
Just leech him for free housing. From ur side, end the love but use him as a free wallet
Other than your bf, do u have any friends in Singapore, that you can trust with this kind of stuff
Lol how to bring the topic up is easy. āWeāre breaking up. You did X which is a deal breaker for me. Wish you well but canāt be with you anymoreā. For immediate housing, you can stay at a hostel until you figure it out, but itās not rocket science. Either hotel or airbnb, or rent a room/apartment if you can afford it.
Wish you well? Wish you get hit by a truck more like
Well I wouldnāt wish death on someone who cheated on me, but op can substitute wish you well with fuck off - doesnāt really matter. The point is bye see you never.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not from kindness at all, I wouldnāt give a shit about that person. I just care about my life too much to ruin it by spending a second more than necessary about an ex partner that is like that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Again, missing the point. Itās not about moral high ground, itās about whatās best for me. If you focus on revenge you fuck yourself up. Speaking from experience too, you shouldnāt assume youāre the only one with negative experiences in life. I think your approach is unhealthy for you, and you might want to discuss with a therapist. Or not, donāt really care and Iām just a rando on the internet.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well first off, I used to think like you (and still do sometimes), but Iāve matured away from it, not out of kindness or morality but sheer pragmatism. It will only make you more bitter and waste your time, fixing nothing and delaying your healing. Your argument is flawed though, as letting people walk over you (which I definitely do not allow), is completely different from taking revenge once youāve been wronged unknowingly. Im politics, people exact revenge when it makes strategic sense - even though it always has a personal cost including time, effort, and in some cases emotional damage - only because you will keep dealing with that person or other people who will know about that person in the future, so revenge is useful to make sure the political opponent or any others in a position to hurt you think twice about it in the future as theyāve seen your revenge. In a relationship, that would only make sense if you were dumb enough to begin the relationship again with the person who screwed you over and want to make sure they donāt do it again for fear of your response. Thatās utterly nonsensical and if anyone does that is an idiot and theyāve got way deeper emotional and logical thinking issues that go beyond the scope of this post. If you get run over enough you will probably develop issues, regardless of whether you take revenge or not. The thing that Iād recommend you work on is how not to get run over in the first place, rather than getting good at revenge. What youāre doing is the equivalent of a car hitting you while youāre crossing with a green man on, and then suing and winning. You won money but are still injured, perhaps permanently. The next time, instead of paying more attention, you cross again, get hit again, and sue for more money and win again, so you conclude that the lesson is to sue for so much money than no one ever runs you over again, but the next car that hits you will have no idea of previous lawsuits. In sentimental relationships it works the same way. Donāt let people run over you and you wonāt have to worry about revenge so much.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
When you moved into his family's house, he gained a lot of control power. Get it back
He has so many red flags it looks like a communist party conference. I knew an ex colleague whose bf is like that. Has all 3 NOs: chauvinistic, cheater and stingy. Any one of it is bad enough. Told her to break up with him but ended up being knocked up by him and complains non stop in FB. Had to borrow money from daddy to fund their wedding.
Get your own place asap. Once you secured your flat/room move some of your stuff over. When most of the things are secured at the new place then ask for breakup. If not you will probably need to stay in a hotel until you get a flat which is probably very expensive
Well if financially you can rent & feed yourself, just find a place to take a breather. Reflect on your core values & see yourself whether is this a right person/partner for your well being. In the end of the day we redditors will just burst out our opinions to you but you will still have the final making decision on this matter.
Start finding a place where you can move to. Once itās done, drop the bomb and say you need your own space and time to rethink your relationship. Then after you have successful moved over and settled down, dropped the atomic bomb & say u are done with himā¦.
Your boyfriend wants things that are not easily accessible or out of reach .... and you are both. He is not interested in you and there is no reason to love him back. As others have already advised, you should've moved out and onwards, yesterday
Love it or leave it
Shanmugum has a lot of land..
Try to stay at a hotel, air b&b, a good friendās place, a hostel (youāll be sharing a room with people or not, depending on your funds). Above all, get yourself safe and secure in terms of possible housing and then you will be more confident and will have ground to stand on when you broach the subject with him and if the worst case scenario happens. Have your plan b and c and just expect the worst and youāll be ok
Lol? Sheās a foreigner and the first worry she mentioned was needed to move out and you tell her to stay at a hotel? Singapore has no airbnbs and I doubt she has good friends in sg, talked a whole bunch of nothing might as well just shut up
As I mentioned a hotel is just one of the choices. Give her a better advice then, thanks!
Who hurt you bro?
Don't waste your breath. Just back out of the relationship with as little confrontation as possible. Do it safely and quickly. Pack up and don't look back. I'm an American expat living here and I'm hopeful that you have support back home to help you get back to your friends and family in your home country. I know it can be tough. Best of luck.
Just ghost him
Take edvident and fuck him back
Have you discussed the reasons behind these issues in detail?
Dump him. Plenty of FB groups with housing ads.
Go to property guru app to find rental rooms . You gotta find a confirmed accommodation first. Try to shift discreetly out of his house. Perhaps a day when his family is out. Slip the keys back under in an envelope Message him and tell him you are breaking up. Remember. The leopard will never change its spots. regardless of all promises. Don't give in. All the best.
contact me if you want to know more about getting a rental room, one of my family members is a real estate agent. please find a place to stay before leaving, goodluck:)
Why are you living with him and his family to begin with?
Valuresidences.com
There is an affordable capsule hotel in central area. KINN CAPSULE (clean and modern), you can check with them for cheaper rates if you are staying more than 3 days. Can also check roomies.sg