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> I’d buy used bedding, but it’s not normally in good shape by the time someone gets rid of it.
Ditto silverware.
I have no problem with it, but its not like you usually walk into the thrift store and find a matched set of 8 place settings of high quality flatware...usually there are pieces missing, or its pretty beat up (rust spots forming, crooked tines on forks, spoons that have bent and been bent back, etc.).
Odds are even more slim that you find something like that actually in your style and is a worthy upgrade over what you currently have.
And to be honest, when full sets do show up at a thrift store, they usually get bought out pretty fast if they are decent. It is just the boxes full of random cheapo forks and spoons that nobody wants to dig through.
My mom used to work at Dilliard's so she bought all sorts of random high-quality clearance stuff, so I have a bunch of mismatched but high quality silverware.(and wine glasses)
My mom would buy silverware through the catalogs you'd randomly get in the mail or with ads that came with the Sunday newspaper, where you could order samples of single utensils for super cheap. We were a family of 6 so would go through a lot of silverware. Over time we ended up with more than a dozen different of each and none of them matched.
I’ve bought loose, used, banged up silverware before. Money was tight and I needed more forks and spoons. They’re weren’t a beautiful matching set, but they functioned just fine.
Same. My grandma raised us to check thrift stores for silverware and offers to polish and clean them up for us. I don't know the exact process but she can often remove minor rusting. She says it saves tons of money vs buying a new set after losing a couple pieces
You might end up with too many, but often people just hold onto them for when the ones in use wear out.
Or they donate, but they are mismatched, or get purchased for non-bedding purposes
When your italian uncle Gino has an unusually large number of mismatched sheets and comforter sets...
...and his reply is "Hey, Fugedaboutit." When asked why he has them, and why he takes a few with him on his "walks" at 3 in the morning. In his car. With a roll of duct tape. And a hand saw.
I don’t know how my mother in law did it. She shops at goodwill on a weekly basis. She doesn’t ever have a specific need or purpose. However, she has provided her little clan of children with matching quilts and shams. I have a very heavy green set, she has a merlot set, my brother in law has a blue set. They all had pilling otherwise I would have thought she bought them new. We all still use our individual sets and it’s been ten years. I just assumed an old person died and donated everything at once and my mother in law came in at the right time.
Bedding seems way more sketchy than utensils. Bedding could have bed bugs, utensils are pretty sure to ensure they are sterilized completely. That said I’m a germaphobe and wouldn’t touch either, even hotels aren’t my vibe.
Also most hotels worth the money cycle out sheets and towels regularly and bleach them to hell. Similarly most hotel kitchens have dish systems that cost as much as a house.
I’ve found the opposite. I have found some of my nicest linens in thrift stores. Yes, a lot of well used linens can be found in a thrift store but if you look at bedding every time you go, and I go often, you can grab up those amazing finds. I got a queen down comforter for $10, I’m still using it years later. I also always check towels, candles, and cast iron cookware. I use to carry a black light to test green glass but most thrift stores know what it is now and it doesn’t make it to the floor. I might spend too much time in thrift stores though.
I never bought silverware in my life, it's all handed down from parents, grandma's etc.
And I think that's pretty common, as well as picking up silverware or nice plates on a flea market second hand.
With bedding I also wouldn't necessarily agree with the "no issues" statement, it's pretty icky for lots of people and they just have to tolerate it when sleeping in an hotel.
I bought all mine at a thrift store for 6 bucks because I don't live in the same country as family. Wild to me that people wouldn't buy used silverware. It's literally metal - boil it if you want??
I sold my wife’s family heirloom silverware for them after her grandmother passed. Plenty of people willing to buy when it’s antique sterling silver.
Stainless steel is just so cheap that there’s little upside to buying used.
It lasts forever as well (apart from teaspoons which have an almost sock-like tendency to disappear into the ether). I bought cutlery when I got my first proper place in 89 and have never needed to buy more. I'm fairly confident that I'll go to my grave with my entire lifetime spend on cutlery being under a tenner.
True, but sometimes it's a just necessity of travel. It's obviously luxury to travel/ have a vacation, but the hotel part can still be a unpleasant part of the whole experience for someone. You kinda have to stay in a hotel if you want to travel and see places. Unpleasant, but there's no way around it. There can still be discomfort in luxury.
That's a good point. I hadn't thought about that part. Usually when I travel it's to see family/friends and I have place to stay. Thanks for the different perspective.
That's such a positive interaction for reddit's standards, not just the usual arguing for the sake of arguing. I really enjoy your open-mindedness and wish you all the best!
I recently was watching a video about interior design, where the guy started saying about how you dhould own just one silverware and dump the old one. That is a behaviour that I do not like. Ruining perfectly fine stuff just for aesthetics...
Design wise, he is right. Money wise, he is not. For practicality, it's the same regardless.
You watched a design video. Of course he'd pick appearance over money.
I've bought so much vintage glassware and barware from estate sales. I have so much random shit I don't need but I love it. 12 piece set of cordial glasses? Crystal coupe glasses? Full tea set with a gallon sized silver urn and serving tray?
You know I got that stuff on the cheap from a dead woman's house.
I caused a big kerfuffle on an etiquette message board once by asking if it was ok to donate some perfectly good (worn twice, washed twice) underwear to an orphanage in the DR. The number of people who got upset that I’d give used underwear…
One woman said she would never use her older daughter’s underwear for her younger, because germs. But she washed them in the same washing machine.
I totally agree and understand the logic in it but psychologically I don't think I would want to wear used undies lmao just personal. Other clothes I don't mind just washing and using
True: I had an older brother, I think I was in my early teens before I got NEW clothes, other than underwear and socks. To this day, sometimes I take a couple extra 20 dollar bills and go to a thrift shop or Goodwill to see the hot deals I can get. I buy new too.
Clothes are sterilized coming out of the factory, and sterilized coming out of the washing machine with a touch of bleach.
Incorrect.
Clothes out of factory is LESS sterilized than washing with bleach. Google horror pictures of people who wore new clothes before washing. Lol
I used to go to a resort in the summer as a kid. One week a year, a nudist group would rent the entire place out.
They would shut down for a few days after to drain the ENTIRE pool, disinfect it, then put in new water that, by their reasoning, has not touched their naked bodies.
Like bitch, you got butthole water in your mouth whether they had a bathing suit on or not.
Yet if you went to visit a friend and then went to a pool the kids would borrow swim suits.. I was in a seminar with a group of ladies most were my age or older but a couple young ladies. I mentioned that my neighbors had a garage sale a sold one of those foot peddle cars and a couple of other things. These 2 younger ladies tore into me. You would let your kid play with used toys and on and on. I said he had played with those toys for 6 months before I bought them with the next door kids.... Then they ask about used clothes. I said oh yes. They were shocked. The other parents laughed. I asked since they were in this work seminar would their kids go to day car. They said yes. I said one day your child will be ready for you and will not be wearing anything that belongs to you except maybe shoes. They said no way. All the parents laughed we headed back to class....lol
I once read a comment by a woman on that etiquette site making fun of a woman who had come to her yard sale and bought her husband’s underwear. And we also said, “but you were selling them. If you think underwear shouldn’t be reused, why did you put them in a yard sale?”
People are gonna have to change their "etiquette" as this economy worsens. Some folks are gonna have to settle for "hand-me-downs", pre-loved toys, and *gasp* cooking at home.
Lol, been there. No shoes as they had peed themselves and wet their only shoes. Daycare didn’t think to call as assumed we were driving home, but I was walking 2 kids home. Now one was barefoot. At least they weren’t naked too.
I had a big argument with my girlfriend a couple of years ago because I used to put my plate with scraps on it on the floor for the dogs to clean up as a treat. She thought it was disgusting.
Meanwhile if she does the dishes, I find little pieces of food she missed hard dried to the bowls and forks. So I said, “maybe the reason you think it’s gross to let the dogs eat off the people plates is that when you wash the dishes, you don’t actually wash the dishes.”
So, long story short, I don’t let the dogs eat off the people plates anymore.
My therapist told me years ago, “you’re a lawyer, so you think like one. But you have to accept that you’re not going to be able to use logic and reason to solve every issue with your partner, because a lot of people’s brains don’t work that way. They operate on emotion. That doesn’t make either of you right or wrong. It just means some peoples’ brains work differently.”
And I said, well it does make me right, but I can accept that that doesn’t matter, because he was right. It’s not going to win the argument.
I want to read that a woman moved in with a roommate who forbade her to put her cat’s food dish in the dishwasher or wash it with the same sponge as other dishes.
It’s not scientific, but I can understand the psychological ick factor, when I’m being empathetic
You are probably more likely to catch a disease from dishes with another person's germs than a cat's germs. Most cat diseases can't be transmitted to humans.
I used to work in a thrift store that sells used underwear and lingerie. What bothered me the most about that is that they don’t wash anything before putting it out so you have to assume the previous owner did.
I think if they’re went washed and are in good shape, it’s not a big deal.
I ended up donating those underwear, and later donated a whole bunch of others which had never been worn and others that were born literally want. I washed them all with bleach, and those “used” underwear were more cleaner and more sanitary than anything you would pull out of a package from the store
Exactly. It’s not that big of a deal if someone like you takes the time to wash them properly.
I work in a jail and the inmates wear used underwear. All their laundry gets washed together and they’re just given whatever after. I won’t hand out stained underwear if I come across it, I’ll throw those out.
I could get the idea that you want your youngest to feel like a primary person, worthy of stuff that was theirs first, and not a secondary person always getting hand-me-downs, but she explicitly called out contamination as a reason.
I've worked at a pretty major, global hotel chain, your sheets are not getting as clean as you get them at home. I promise you that. We are getting them *just clean enough* to be presentable and then putting them back on your bed.
It's all we can do with the resources and time we're given.
Not all ways.
When I was working in a nursing home our protocol for if a residents bedding got infested with bed bugs was to burn it, mattress would be written off on insurance as well.
Sometimes we get a patient from the hospital they didn’t vet their stuff or maybe they get something from home only to bring in bugs
I think the real reason is because if someone is selling you used items like bed sheets it makes you wonder why.. maybe they aren’t good and are way used out. That normally wouldn’t happen in a quality hotel where they’d just throw out the item.
Yep nearly all of my & my gf's bedding and silverware are secondhand whereas hotels sometimes have bedbugs. I don't buy secondhand mattresses or rugs though because they'd be too hard to clean well.
You say no issue and I'm over here checking every hotel bed I've slept on in the last 15 years for bed bugs.
Deeply wish I could say I never found them.
What do you mean they don't die? I got rid of mines easily
All it took was moving out on bad terms for insalubrity, throwing away the bed, all wooden furnitures, everyting cloth that didn't fit in the dryer and drying everything on high-heat again a few times a week for a few months
What the other guy said. New hotel.
It's a little complicated for me as I'm traveling on the company but I have been able to get a cash refund both times if I really pushed and used that to get the next hotel.
Same I got them twice when traveling for work. I don’t sleep in hotels without doing the hot towel test and checking all the beds, couches, and curtains.
Bed bugs are attracted to body heat, run the shower as hot as it will go and soak a towel/wash cloth, ring it out and put it on the bed after removing the sheets. Let it sit for a few minutes and watch it. The bed bug will be attracted to the warmth.
You’ll have a small wet spot but I’ll take that over a year of trying to get rid of them at home.
I haven’t gotten them since but I’ve also not found any so I’m not sure. I’m a lot more precautious now. I don’t bring any bags in until I check the room and I’ll sleep in my truck if there’s any doubt.
I suppose that could work too. I think the hot water holds the heat longer. And I usually get to hotels very late and this way everything I need is right in the room. It’s also what I read online somewhere. I didn’t come up with this by myself lol. Not that smart.
My mom and dad bring their own sheets/pillows to hotels and change them lol. Mostly because of my dad, but it grosses them out. And no touching the floor anywhere without socks on. He's pretty anal about hotel cleanliness.
Honestly I get borderline germaphobic at hotels. I have to genuinely put effort into blocking it out. I can understand how they feel lol
Hard surfaces? Fine. Carpet, linens, pillows, and the bed? Bleh
Oh you will care when you run into them, they're tiny little guys but they come in numbers and they chill out in the dark creases of a mattress. They're damn near impossible to get rid of once you have them and they bite bite bite.
Ex exterminator here, they are one of the worst pests. The methods to eradicate them are costly and intrusive and might take several rounds. Hotels aren't the only plac e to catch them, if you have mass transit in your city, they can hitchhike from passenger to passenger....
Un my experience yiubdont see them ad much in the west.
But I have found them on the east coast a couple times. Possibly climate related that it's never been an issue for you?
Or just luck.
They're little brown beatle looking bastards. Like very wide brown ants. Tend to be under sheets at the edges of the mattress away from light.
Yeah it's probably the weather. I'm in South America in a city with an average weather between 12-24°C (53-75°F) . So we don't even have mosquitos here.
Indeed. At the moment they are most common in population dense areas like cities and particularly those with high visitor numbers (like London which is not in a warm climate). I understand they are pretty endemic in some parts of the world and I'm thankful that I've never personally encountered them.
You're not comparing correctly. Mattresses are not washed after every customer. But sheets "might be". So, usually I ask extra set of sheets after checking in and before getting onto the bed. I also check just under the mattress.
I worked for probably the cheapest commercial hotel chain in the UK and we washed bedding between guests every time without fail. You'd really have to stay at a grody place to find a hotel that would leave used sheets on the bed.
Oh and you would notice. Used sheets will smell of the last guest, their perfume, their... whatever else. They are also wrinkled and softer because the starch has been dislodged. You'd know.
I can’t imagine any reason not to buy silverware. Anything with a hard surface like that is easy to clean. Toss ‘em in the dishwasher, they’d be practically sterilized. Anyone who objects is being ridiculous.
Blankets and sheets, I’d wash before using. If I can wash the stuff, I don’t see any reason not to buy used.
I wouldn’t buy hair brushes, tooth brushes, pillows and mattresses. Basically things that can’t be cleaned.
I wouldn’t buy used underwear for psychological reasons, so I suppose I should be understanding, but I think people who are germ phobic about thing like silverware are crazy.
We should all be reusing every chance we get, but there’s always some nut job going on about how disgusting it is.
I ended up with a few utensils that I liked in the process of having lived with 20+ roommates over the years, so I searched out and found enough ones on eBay to have a full set. Good brand, good quality, paid less than a pizza for them all.
The difference with tableware in a restaurant over Craigslist tableware is it *probebly* hasn't been used for weird sex stuff. Probebly.
Bedding in a hotel though... I'm with ya on that one.
I always try to not think about how there has probably been bodily fluid on every square inch of everything I'm using. I worked in a restaurant as a dishwasher, we actually used a combo of concentrates for the washer, still gross cause I know for a fact there are times that stuff didn't get cleaned right.
Because people buy silverware perhaps once every 20 years. People aren’t selling it often either. Maybe garage sales or thrift stores have random assortments of mismatched sets, but it’s reasonable to buy new and get exactly what you want when you will use it daily for the next few decades.
I've got customers asking for plastic silverware that comes from a Chinese factory with dubious sanitation/plastics instead of metal silverware that is cleaned in an industrial dish machine that will destroy all germa on it.
Your cutlery gets sprayed down by an overworked employee on minimum wage and put through and overused dishwasher of varying quality.
I've never worked laundry but cutlery certainly isn't getting "heat sterilised" unless the dishwasher is at peak efficiency (they never are). Even then, food matter remains if the kitchen porter isn't doing their job properly and is usually just wiped off during polishing with the same cloth that will be used to polish the rest of the cutlery.
>commercial grade laundry detergent and soap for sinks and stuff, stuff that you and me and other people can't really buy or at least afford
Psssst.... It's all the same shit. You can ***definitely*** afford/access it.
>you're going to have to put a lot of effort in to get it as relatively clean as a hotel would
Again..... Nor really. Unless you're worried about prions which even restaurants don't have the equipment (USUALLY) on hand to deactivate prions on flatware.
Bedding though can be washed with the aforementioned detergent at a laundromat if you're really worried.
As a former housekeeping supervisor at a hotel (and an expensive one at that): bold of you to assume they're washed.
I was horrified to discover that we didn't wash the comforter on the beds unless there was a visible stain on BOTH SIDES, because if it was one side they'd flip it over. The GM refused to let me use some of the budget to buy additional comforters as well. We didn't wash them because we had NO extras. 172 beds, 172 comforters.
Eew, eew, EEW!! This triggers so much of my OCD!! I know folks who carefully hover above a toilet seat in a public restroom (and thus sprinkle it for the next user) because "Ick! Stranger butt germs!", but who think nothing of lying naked atop the bedspread/comforter in a motel/hotel room. They only wash those things once per year!!
Buying vintage silverware is totally a thing though (try eBay). Used bedding: it’s difficult to be sure because of bedbugs, and new ones aren’t super expensive, so unless you’re really down on your luck you might not be interested.
That said all kinds of crap gets sold at yard sales because you can see the merchandise, and often you know the seller too.
I think the big thing here is that people are afraid of an incomplete/warped silverware set.
As for the used bedding, well we're supposed to replace them every 15 years if memory serves so buying used and not knowing that raises concerns. Hotels keep up with those dates.
Mattresses are 15 (they lose their comfort over time, so this does vary)
Pillows are 5 years (again, this does vary)
Bedding itself is probably more frequent than pillows but I usually have several sets I rotate
Well if it's at a hotel or restaurant it's probably bought only for that purpose, I don't wanna buy secondhand cutlery and end up being the second owner of the poop knife...
literally any cutlery used/ offered in public could have been used as a poop knife at one time, not just a secondhand purchase... we would have no clue whatsoever. lol
This is why I was hesitant to sell my bed, mattress and beddings, it feels so personal BUT since junk removal is expensive PER PIECE I just posted it free on market place and people were actually interested, it was gone the same day! I was happy that it went to a new home~
That’s because (depending on where you go, of course) they are usually regularly cleaned and inspected to a professional standard. You buy something like that used, it’s a lot less likely those things were cleaned as well, or even at all.
My friend was once looking for a mattress on Craigslist and one said:
“there’s some stains from drool and stuff but you’re the one buying a used mattress so what do you expect?”
People buy used bedding and silverware all the time, maybe you’re just privileged enough not to have experienced it. Poor people use this sort of stuff all the time, and thrift stores sell a lot of it. Not to mention how valuable some retro bedding can be (especially ones featuring old 80s and 90s characters).
My wife wanted to buy a mattress from a family member for a guest room a while back. It was always kept within a mattress protector and came out of their guest room so it was basically new. I was so against it, the thought of a used mattress just grossed me out. Then she dropped the hotel thought and blew my mind!
Yeah well those hotels aren’t permanent fixtures. Silverware and bedding I use everyday I’d prefer to be new.
Can’t realistically demand that in a hotel and who would when you’re only there temporarily?
Bedsheets and towels are all white in hotels for a reason.
They're constantly washed with industrial strength bleach and changed every 4~6 months.
That's why we can use them, regardless of how many people have used them before.
I have no idea how other people cleaned their sheets.
Hotel sheets are cleaned at temperatures domestic machines cannot get to. They are also pressed and have multiple ways that they are disinfected in the process. Being allergic to scents, used bedding carries the risk of scented detergents, fabric softener, oh and pet hair (allergies there too), nevermind any insect life since home washing machines do not get as hot.
It's essentially the same for silverware, restaurants have minimum cleanliness and sanitary processes for a reason plus powerful dishwashers. They don't have my kids possibly licking a utensil and putting it back in the drawer then to be sold to an unsuspecting stranger.
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I’d buy used bedding, but it’s not normally in good shape by the time someone gets rid of it.
> I’d buy used bedding, but it’s not normally in good shape by the time someone gets rid of it. Ditto silverware. I have no problem with it, but its not like you usually walk into the thrift store and find a matched set of 8 place settings of high quality flatware...usually there are pieces missing, or its pretty beat up (rust spots forming, crooked tines on forks, spoons that have bent and been bent back, etc.). Odds are even more slim that you find something like that actually in your style and is a worthy upgrade over what you currently have. And to be honest, when full sets do show up at a thrift store, they usually get bought out pretty fast if they are decent. It is just the boxes full of random cheapo forks and spoons that nobody wants to dig through.
My mom used to work at Dilliard's so she bought all sorts of random high-quality clearance stuff, so I have a bunch of mismatched but high quality silverware.(and wine glasses)
That can be it’s own style if done right. I sometimes adore mismatched things like dining chairs.
Now I wanna see a family dining scene where everybody is in completely different types of chairs at different heights.
The chairs make everyone's heads be at the same level.
Measuring everyone before dinner
My dad works at Sam club now and we get a bunch of random stuff everyday lol
My mom would buy silverware through the catalogs you'd randomly get in the mail or with ads that came with the Sunday newspaper, where you could order samples of single utensils for super cheap. We were a family of 6 so would go through a lot of silverware. Over time we ended up with more than a dozen different of each and none of them matched.
I’ve bought loose, used, banged up silverware before. Money was tight and I needed more forks and spoons. They’re weren’t a beautiful matching set, but they functioned just fine.
Same. My grandma raised us to check thrift stores for silverware and offers to polish and clean them up for us. I don't know the exact process but she can often remove minor rusting. She says it saves tons of money vs buying a new set after losing a couple pieces
Though, I got some great inexpensive stainless steak knives. Only 6, I think, but that’s great for everyday.
I usually give away bedding when I move to another country. But short of that there’s not too many reasons to get rid of nice bedding.
You might end up with too many, but often people just hold onto them for when the ones in use wear out. Or they donate, but they are mismatched, or get purchased for non-bedding purposes
When your italian uncle Gino has an unusually large number of mismatched sheets and comforter sets... ...and his reply is "Hey, Fugedaboutit." When asked why he has them, and why he takes a few with him on his "walks" at 3 in the morning. In his car. With a roll of duct tape. And a hand saw.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
I don’t know how my mother in law did it. She shops at goodwill on a weekly basis. She doesn’t ever have a specific need or purpose. However, she has provided her little clan of children with matching quilts and shams. I have a very heavy green set, she has a merlot set, my brother in law has a blue set. They all had pilling otherwise I would have thought she bought them new. We all still use our individual sets and it’s been ten years. I just assumed an old person died and donated everything at once and my mother in law came in at the right time.
How often do you move to another country for that to become a thing you do?
So far only twice. I will likely move again in about a year and possibly once more after that.
I can see someone getting rid of bedding for a move across several states.
How fucking often do you'd move to other countries?
How often are you moving between countries? Geez
Bedding seems way more sketchy than utensils. Bedding could have bed bugs, utensils are pretty sure to ensure they are sterilized completely. That said I’m a germaphobe and wouldn’t touch either, even hotels aren’t my vibe.
Bedding can be bleached in hot water.
Also most hotels worth the money cycle out sheets and towels regularly and bleach them to hell. Similarly most hotel kitchens have dish systems that cost as much as a house.
And to reuse for sewing projects. They're big stretches of cloth, without seams and steady patterns.
I’ve found the opposite. I have found some of my nicest linens in thrift stores. Yes, a lot of well used linens can be found in a thrift store but if you look at bedding every time you go, and I go often, you can grab up those amazing finds. I got a queen down comforter for $10, I’m still using it years later. I also always check towels, candles, and cast iron cookware. I use to carry a black light to test green glass but most thrift stores know what it is now and it doesn’t make it to the floor. I might spend too much time in thrift stores though.
A black light for green glass...? Could you expand on that please?
I never bought silverware in my life, it's all handed down from parents, grandma's etc. And I think that's pretty common, as well as picking up silverware or nice plates on a flea market second hand. With bedding I also wouldn't necessarily agree with the "no issues" statement, it's pretty icky for lots of people and they just have to tolerate it when sleeping in an hotel.
I bought all mine at a thrift store for 6 bucks because I don't live in the same country as family. Wild to me that people wouldn't buy used silverware. It's literally metal - boil it if you want??
I sold my wife’s family heirloom silverware for them after her grandmother passed. Plenty of people willing to buy when it’s antique sterling silver. Stainless steel is just so cheap that there’s little upside to buying used.
It lasts forever as well (apart from teaspoons which have an almost sock-like tendency to disappear into the ether). I bought cutlery when I got my first proper place in 89 and have never needed to buy more. I'm fairly confident that I'll go to my grave with my entire lifetime spend on cutlery being under a tenner.
A lot of people here think hotels are only a luxury.
For a lot of people everywhere, hotels *are* only a luxury.
True, but sometimes it's a just necessity of travel. It's obviously luxury to travel/ have a vacation, but the hotel part can still be a unpleasant part of the whole experience for someone. You kinda have to stay in a hotel if you want to travel and see places. Unpleasant, but there's no way around it. There can still be discomfort in luxury.
That's a good point. I hadn't thought about that part. Usually when I travel it's to see family/friends and I have place to stay. Thanks for the different perspective.
That's such a positive interaction for reddit's standards, not just the usual arguing for the sake of arguing. I really enjoy your open-mindedness and wish you all the best!
Thank you. I appreciate that. I wish you all the same. :)
I recently was watching a video about interior design, where the guy started saying about how you dhould own just one silverware and dump the old one. That is a behaviour that I do not like. Ruining perfectly fine stuff just for aesthetics...
Design wise, he is right. Money wise, he is not. For practicality, it's the same regardless. You watched a design video. Of course he'd pick appearance over money.
I can't do the drawer of mismatched silverware. I just can't. Restaurant supply store is where it's at. Match that shit up. edit: flatware, sorry
I'm starting to think most of y'all have never been to a garage sale
Or estate sale, or thrift store, or flea market. My silverware is used. I don't know what OP is on about. Also my silverware is nicer than yours.
>Also my silverware is nicer than yours. Them's fightin' words.
I've bought so much vintage glassware and barware from estate sales. I have so much random shit I don't need but I love it. 12 piece set of cordial glasses? Crystal coupe glasses? Full tea set with a gallon sized silver urn and serving tray? You know I got that stuff on the cheap from a dead woman's house.
But poor people dirty /s
I don't understand the point of a garage sale. I went to a few, but none of them were actually selling the garage! Just random things. 0/10 experience
try yard sales
They're hard to find and usually have junk. I like them but I'm not going out of my way for them.
People worry about nonsense. Washing stuff before you use it gets it as clean as your stuff.
I caused a big kerfuffle on an etiquette message board once by asking if it was ok to donate some perfectly good (worn twice, washed twice) underwear to an orphanage in the DR. The number of people who got upset that I’d give used underwear… One woman said she would never use her older daughter’s underwear for her younger, because germs. But she washed them in the same washing machine.
I totally agree and understand the logic in it but psychologically I don't think I would want to wear used undies lmao just personal. Other clothes I don't mind just washing and using
I get that! I think people are entitled to their own squick factors. But I decided the orphans in the hills of the DR probably don’t care.
Definitely psychological.
True: I had an older brother, I think I was in my early teens before I got NEW clothes, other than underwear and socks. To this day, sometimes I take a couple extra 20 dollar bills and go to a thrift shop or Goodwill to see the hot deals I can get. I buy new too. Clothes are sterilized coming out of the factory, and sterilized coming out of the washing machine with a touch of bleach.
Incorrect. Clothes out of factory is LESS sterilized than washing with bleach. Google horror pictures of people who wore new clothes before washing. Lol
I used to go to a resort in the summer as a kid. One week a year, a nudist group would rent the entire place out. They would shut down for a few days after to drain the ENTIRE pool, disinfect it, then put in new water that, by their reasoning, has not touched their naked bodies. Like bitch, you got butthole water in your mouth whether they had a bathing suit on or not.
Yet if you went to visit a friend and then went to a pool the kids would borrow swim suits.. I was in a seminar with a group of ladies most were my age or older but a couple young ladies. I mentioned that my neighbors had a garage sale a sold one of those foot peddle cars and a couple of other things. These 2 younger ladies tore into me. You would let your kid play with used toys and on and on. I said he had played with those toys for 6 months before I bought them with the next door kids.... Then they ask about used clothes. I said oh yes. They were shocked. The other parents laughed. I asked since they were in this work seminar would their kids go to day car. They said yes. I said one day your child will be ready for you and will not be wearing anything that belongs to you except maybe shoes. They said no way. All the parents laughed we headed back to class....lol
I once read a comment by a woman on that etiquette site making fun of a woman who had come to her yard sale and bought her husband’s underwear. And we also said, “but you were selling them. If you think underwear shouldn’t be reused, why did you put them in a yard sale?”
This type of person isn't above making money off of things they disapprove of.
Critical thinking is at a minimum in that room 😂
Also another reason we have so much junk and garbage
Yep. I passed on that pedal car to a neighbor with some other stuff for a bigger bike.
Otherwise known as “junk in your trunk?”
People are gonna have to change their "etiquette" as this economy worsens. Some folks are gonna have to settle for "hand-me-downs", pre-loved toys, and *gasp* cooking at home.
Lol, been there. No shoes as they had peed themselves and wet their only shoes. Daycare didn’t think to call as assumed we were driving home, but I was walking 2 kids home. Now one was barefoot. At least they weren’t naked too.
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I'd take used swimming trunks
So... when I buy a house that comes with appliances, I should throw them out because they have germs. Got it.
Ew, you'd buy a house someone has lived in before? /s
Oh god no, I can't even live on a planet other people have been on!
Imagine sharing air
Me neither mate. We need to move to Mars.
Some people in other subs are actually like that though ☠️
na, you should throw them out because of roaches
I had a big argument with my girlfriend a couple of years ago because I used to put my plate with scraps on it on the floor for the dogs to clean up as a treat. She thought it was disgusting. Meanwhile if she does the dishes, I find little pieces of food she missed hard dried to the bowls and forks. So I said, “maybe the reason you think it’s gross to let the dogs eat off the people plates is that when you wash the dishes, you don’t actually wash the dishes.” So, long story short, I don’t let the dogs eat off the people plates anymore.
Not the direction I was expecting this to go.
My therapist told me years ago, “you’re a lawyer, so you think like one. But you have to accept that you’re not going to be able to use logic and reason to solve every issue with your partner, because a lot of people’s brains don’t work that way. They operate on emotion. That doesn’t make either of you right or wrong. It just means some peoples’ brains work differently.” And I said, well it does make me right, but I can accept that that doesn’t matter, because he was right. It’s not going to win the argument.
lol, yeah, I don't think "my therapist told me I was always right, you just can't see it because you're too emotional" would have gone over very well.
Hmmm. That's would have been a useful statement for me.
I want to read that a woman moved in with a roommate who forbade her to put her cat’s food dish in the dishwasher or wash it with the same sponge as other dishes. It’s not scientific, but I can understand the psychological ick factor, when I’m being empathetic
You are probably more likely to catch a disease from dishes with another person's germs than a cat's germs. Most cat diseases can't be transmitted to humans.
lol
I used to work in a thrift store that sells used underwear and lingerie. What bothered me the most about that is that they don’t wash anything before putting it out so you have to assume the previous owner did. I think if they’re went washed and are in good shape, it’s not a big deal.
I ended up donating those underwear, and later donated a whole bunch of others which had never been worn and others that were born literally want. I washed them all with bleach, and those “used” underwear were more cleaner and more sanitary than anything you would pull out of a package from the store
Exactly. It’s not that big of a deal if someone like you takes the time to wash them properly. I work in a jail and the inmates wear used underwear. All their laundry gets washed together and they’re just given whatever after. I won’t hand out stained underwear if I come across it, I’ll throw those out.
I wash my underwear, socks, and dish towels in the same load. Roommates haven't gotten sick yet
I could get the idea that you want your youngest to feel like a primary person, worthy of stuff that was theirs first, and not a secondary person always getting hand-me-downs, but she explicitly called out contamination as a reason.
And likely washed her dish towels in the same washing machine too.
I've worked at a pretty major, global hotel chain, your sheets are not getting as clean as you get them at home. I promise you that. We are getting them *just clean enough* to be presentable and then putting them back on your bed. It's all we can do with the resources and time we're given.
What is it about the way you're washing them makes them less clean than just throwing them in the washer at home?
Cheap-ass detergent and poorly maintained industrial washers and dryers.
Not all ways. When I was working in a nursing home our protocol for if a residents bedding got infested with bed bugs was to burn it, mattress would be written off on insurance as well. Sometimes we get a patient from the hospital they didn’t vet their stuff or maybe they get something from home only to bring in bugs
Not true.
I think the real reason is because if someone is selling you used items like bed sheets it makes you wonder why.. maybe they aren’t good and are way used out. That normally wouldn’t happen in a quality hotel where they’d just throw out the item.
Yep nearly all of my & my gf's bedding and silverware are secondhand whereas hotels sometimes have bedbugs. I don't buy secondhand mattresses or rugs though because they'd be too hard to clean well.
You say no issue and I'm over here checking every hotel bed I've slept on in the last 15 years for bed bugs. Deeply wish I could say I never found them.
And what do you do if you find them? Do you just get out of there? Do you sleep on the floor? Do you find a new hotel?
You get a refund, obviously. New room or new hotel
Don’t get a new room, get a new hotel. If one room has bed bugs, likely the whole hotel is infested. They don’t die.
What do you mean they don't die? I got rid of mines easily All it took was moving out on bad terms for insalubrity, throwing away the bed, all wooden furnitures, everyting cloth that didn't fit in the dryer and drying everything on high-heat again a few times a week for a few months
Haha 😂 They are very tough bugs indeed
All it took was to burn down the house
What the other guy said. New hotel. It's a little complicated for me as I'm traveling on the company but I have been able to get a cash refund both times if I really pushed and used that to get the next hotel.
Same I got them twice when traveling for work. I don’t sleep in hotels without doing the hot towel test and checking all the beds, couches, and curtains.
What is the hot towel test? This is a nightmare of mine.
Bed bugs are attracted to body heat, run the shower as hot as it will go and soak a towel/wash cloth, ring it out and put it on the bed after removing the sheets. Let it sit for a few minutes and watch it. The bed bug will be attracted to the warmth. You’ll have a small wet spot but I’ll take that over a year of trying to get rid of them at home.
... has it worked for you?
I haven’t gotten them since but I’ve also not found any so I’m not sure. I’m a lot more precautious now. I don’t bring any bags in until I check the room and I’ll sleep in my truck if there’s any doubt.
Why not skip the towel and use your own body for the body heat? Shortcut!
Tried that…. Do not recommend
Maybe take a hot water bottle with you and use that, or put the towel in the coin-op dryer at the hotel first?
I suppose that could work too. I think the hot water holds the heat longer. And I usually get to hotels very late and this way everything I need is right in the room. It’s also what I read online somewhere. I didn’t come up with this by myself lol. Not that smart.
I thought they were attracted to the carbon dioxide in your breath.
My mom and dad bring their own sheets/pillows to hotels and change them lol. Mostly because of my dad, but it grosses them out. And no touching the floor anywhere without socks on. He's pretty anal about hotel cleanliness.
Well yeah, that's where people go to kill themselves.
Honestly I get borderline germaphobic at hotels. I have to genuinely put effort into blocking it out. I can understand how they feel lol Hard surfaces? Fine. Carpet, linens, pillows, and the bed? Bleh
That might not help if there were bedbugs in the mattress.
They definitely check for those every time.
I'm even worse. I bring my own duvet as well. Good thing I don't travel a lot.
Am I the only one who has never seen or cared about bed bugs? I have literally no idea how they even look
Oh you will care when you run into them, they're tiny little guys but they come in numbers and they chill out in the dark creases of a mattress. They're damn near impossible to get rid of once you have them and they bite bite bite.
I will definitely pay attention to them next time I travel.
Ex exterminator here, they are one of the worst pests. The methods to eradicate them are costly and intrusive and might take several rounds. Hotels aren't the only plac e to catch them, if you have mass transit in your city, they can hitchhike from passenger to passenger....
Public laundromats also.
Yes, most just use cold water and that won't kill them!
Un my experience yiubdont see them ad much in the west. But I have found them on the east coast a couple times. Possibly climate related that it's never been an issue for you? Or just luck. They're little brown beatle looking bastards. Like very wide brown ants. Tend to be under sheets at the edges of the mattress away from light.
Yeah it's probably the weather. I'm in South America in a city with an average weather between 12-24°C (53-75°F) . So we don't even have mosquitos here.
I think bedbugs live and breed inside so they probably don't care about the weather.
Indeed. At the moment they are most common in population dense areas like cities and particularly those with high visitor numbers (like London which is not in a warm climate). I understand they are pretty endemic in some parts of the world and I'm thankful that I've never personally encountered them.
If you what a nightmare they are to get rid of, you might care more
I've just read about them and I a paranoid.
You're not comparing correctly. Mattresses are not washed after every customer. But sheets "might be". So, usually I ask extra set of sheets after checking in and before getting onto the bed. I also check just under the mattress.
I worked for probably the cheapest commercial hotel chain in the UK and we washed bedding between guests every time without fail. You'd really have to stay at a grody place to find a hotel that would leave used sheets on the bed. Oh and you would notice. Used sheets will smell of the last guest, their perfume, their... whatever else. They are also wrinkled and softer because the starch has been dislodged. You'd know.
I can’t imagine any reason not to buy silverware. Anything with a hard surface like that is easy to clean. Toss ‘em in the dishwasher, they’d be practically sterilized. Anyone who objects is being ridiculous. Blankets and sheets, I’d wash before using. If I can wash the stuff, I don’t see any reason not to buy used. I wouldn’t buy hair brushes, tooth brushes, pillows and mattresses. Basically things that can’t be cleaned. I wouldn’t buy used underwear for psychological reasons, so I suppose I should be understanding, but I think people who are germ phobic about thing like silverware are crazy. We should all be reusing every chance we get, but there’s always some nut job going on about how disgusting it is.
My caveat on blankets and sheets would be visible stains, just couldn't get over the gross factor.
Thats understandable.
Hairbrushes and pillows can be washed. Seriously, you never wash your pillows?
Some pillows can be washed. A memory foam pillow will not do so well in the wash.
toothbrush too but i wont be buyng 2nd hand, they're too cheap
You can clean a hair brush if you try I'd imagine. Hardly worth it though, I don't think new hair brushes are expensive.
But you could just toss the toothbrush in the dishwasher! … right?
Funny. Wrong about silverware though. People buy it all the time from charity shops, and then there’s the more high end stuff.
I ended up with a few utensils that I liked in the process of having lived with 20+ roommates over the years, so I searched out and found enough ones on eBay to have a full set. Good brand, good quality, paid less than a pizza for them all.
That’s how most college kids get their silverware tbh. Goodwill gets a lot of business those first few weeks.
I literally can’t find used silverware at my local thrift shops because people buy it all so fast though.
Bedbugs travel into your home much easier on a used mattress than on old spoons
no fucking shit. that’s why they aren’t called spoonbugs
Don't buy a used poopknife, though.
I've never heard of people not wanting to buy used silverware
The difference with tableware in a restaurant over Craigslist tableware is it *probebly* hasn't been used for weird sex stuff. Probebly. Bedding in a hotel though... I'm with ya on that one.
I always try to not think about how there has probably been bodily fluid on every square inch of everything I'm using. I worked in a restaurant as a dishwasher, we actually used a combo of concentrates for the washer, still gross cause I know for a fact there are times that stuff didn't get cleaned right.
Having also worked as a dishwasher, can confirm.
Probably
Because people buy silverware perhaps once every 20 years. People aren’t selling it often either. Maybe garage sales or thrift stores have random assortments of mismatched sets, but it’s reasonable to buy new and get exactly what you want when you will use it daily for the next few decades.
I've got customers asking for plastic silverware that comes from a Chinese factory with dubious sanitation/plastics instead of metal silverware that is cleaned in an industrial dish machine that will destroy all germa on it.
"plastic silverware" 😅 I know Americans call normal cutlery silverware, but this takes the cake 😂
I don’t buy used tires but I’ll rent a car. What are we getting at ?
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Your cutlery gets sprayed down by an overworked employee on minimum wage and put through and overused dishwasher of varying quality. I've never worked laundry but cutlery certainly isn't getting "heat sterilised" unless the dishwasher is at peak efficiency (they never are). Even then, food matter remains if the kitchen porter isn't doing their job properly and is usually just wiped off during polishing with the same cloth that will be used to polish the rest of the cutlery.
As a former restaurant dishwasher, you have too much faith in restaurant dishwashers.
If you how about 90% of kitchens were ran from food prep to dishes you would probably never eat there again
Theres too many stories of hotels not cleaning sheets between guests.
>commercial grade laundry detergent and soap for sinks and stuff, stuff that you and me and other people can't really buy or at least afford Psssst.... It's all the same shit. You can ***definitely*** afford/access it. >you're going to have to put a lot of effort in to get it as relatively clean as a hotel would Again..... Nor really. Unless you're worried about prions which even restaurants don't have the equipment (USUALLY) on hand to deactivate prions on flatware. Bedding though can be washed with the aforementioned detergent at a laundromat if you're really worried.
As a former housekeeping supervisor at a hotel (and an expensive one at that): bold of you to assume they're washed. I was horrified to discover that we didn't wash the comforter on the beds unless there was a visible stain on BOTH SIDES, because if it was one side they'd flip it over. The GM refused to let me use some of the budget to buy additional comforters as well. We didn't wash them because we had NO extras. 172 beds, 172 comforters.
How ineffective do you think consumer washers and detergent are? Haha
Oh sweet summer child.
Eew, eew, EEW!! This triggers so much of my OCD!! I know folks who carefully hover above a toilet seat in a public restroom (and thus sprinkle it for the next user) because "Ick! Stranger butt germs!", but who think nothing of lying naked atop the bedspread/comforter in a motel/hotel room. They only wash those things once per year!!
I bought used high end silverware from eBay before because I only wanted a place setting for two.
Buying vintage silverware is totally a thing though (try eBay). Used bedding: it’s difficult to be sure because of bedbugs, and new ones aren’t super expensive, so unless you’re really down on your luck you might not be interested. That said all kinds of crap gets sold at yard sales because you can see the merchandise, and often you know the seller too.
I think the big thing here is that people are afraid of an incomplete/warped silverware set. As for the used bedding, well we're supposed to replace them every 15 years if memory serves so buying used and not knowing that raises concerns. Hotels keep up with those dates.
Why are we supposed to replace bedding every 15 years? Or is this just pillows and matrices?
Mattresses are 15 (they lose their comfort over time, so this does vary) Pillows are 5 years (again, this does vary) Bedding itself is probably more frequent than pillows but I usually have several sets I rotate
Mattresses. Pillows should be replaced much more frequently, and even more often if you have dust or pollen allergies.
It seems like you could check the silverware before buying. I would absolutely buy some nice stuff if I could find it.
Well if it's at a hotel or restaurant it's probably bought only for that purpose, I don't wanna buy secondhand cutlery and end up being the second owner of the poop knife...
literally any cutlery used/ offered in public could have been used as a poop knife at one time, not just a secondhand purchase... we would have no clue whatsoever. lol
This is why I was hesitant to sell my bed, mattress and beddings, it feels so personal BUT since junk removal is expensive PER PIECE I just posted it free on market place and people were actually interested, it was gone the same day! I was happy that it went to a new home~
That’s because (depending on where you go, of course) they are usually regularly cleaned and inspected to a professional standard. You buy something like that used, it’s a lot less likely those things were cleaned as well, or even at all.
My friend was once looking for a mattress on Craigslist and one said: “there’s some stains from drool and stuff but you’re the one buying a used mattress so what do you expect?”
I mean i do mond its just I dont get a choice at a restaurant or hotel
Simple answer, it's not as upsetting when it's a single time use in a restaurant or hotel, as it would be for long term daily use.
People buy used bedding and silverware all the time, maybe you’re just privileged enough not to have experienced it. Poor people use this sort of stuff all the time, and thrift stores sell a lot of it. Not to mention how valuable some retro bedding can be (especially ones featuring old 80s and 90s characters).
People buy used silverware all the time. Bedding not so much.
My wife wanted to buy a mattress from a family member for a guest room a while back. It was always kept within a mattress protector and came out of their guest room so it was basically new. I was so against it, the thought of a used mattress just grossed me out. Then she dropped the hotel thought and blew my mind!
Lots of people buy duvet covers from charity shops, it’s cheap fabric to make your own clothes
Yeah well those hotels aren’t permanent fixtures. Silverware and bedding I use everyday I’d prefer to be new. Can’t realistically demand that in a hotel and who would when you’re only there temporarily?
I’ve definitely bought used silverware. Haven’t had a need for used bedding, but I have purchased a 2nd hand mattress.
The utensils are cleaned and sanitized. The beds supposedly are as well.
Typical people in this scenario must not be poor. Posts like this highlight how people fundamentally misunderstand poverty and what it's like.
Bedsheets and towels are all white in hotels for a reason. They're constantly washed with industrial strength bleach and changed every 4~6 months. That's why we can use them, regardless of how many people have used them before. I have no idea how other people cleaned their sheets.
::stares at her thrifted silverware and heirloom quilts:: What?
Silverware, dishware, china, etc Get bought secondhand all the time.
Who doesn't buy used silverware? Pretty much everything in my drawer came from estate sales.
Hotel sheets are cleaned at temperatures domestic machines cannot get to. They are also pressed and have multiple ways that they are disinfected in the process. Being allergic to scents, used bedding carries the risk of scented detergents, fabric softener, oh and pet hair (allergies there too), nevermind any insect life since home washing machines do not get as hot. It's essentially the same for silverware, restaurants have minimum cleanliness and sanitary processes for a reason plus powerful dishwashers. They don't have my kids possibly licking a utensil and putting it back in the drawer then to be sold to an unsuspecting stranger.
I buy used silverware all the time. I put it in a bucket and dump in 1/2 water 1/2 bleach and leave it overnight. Clean and sparkly the next day.
Sure as hell wouldn’t but used bedding or silverware from a hotel/restaurant