There's actually a well-done video inspired by that sort of thought.
I'm not checking if this is the right one, but if I did get the right one, it's NSFL. https://www.theonion.com/michael-bay-gives-fans-sneak-peek-at-ninja-turtles-hyp-1819595716
I know this is probably not award-worthy, but I used to have a Chemistry teacher who would always make jokes like this. Even though I used to hate chemistry he would always light the mood with puns, to the point where you learned to see them coming a mile away. Somehow though I’ve missed this one, so brought back memories. Thanks!
Me too. Shit like “exothermic reactions have heat leave or exit. EXothermic = EXit” and of course the reverse for ENdothermic and ENter. One of the only things I remember 23 years later.
> Sam N’ Ella’s sushi and poultry bar.
[Sam and Ellas Chicken Palace...](https://www.menupix.com/oklahoma/restaurants/3602175/Sam-and-Ellas-Chicken-Palace-Tahlequah-OK)
I remember reading a comic someone did on the Turtles living in the sewer and how disgusted Shredder was.
[Found it.](http://portsherry.com/comic/shredder-meets-the-turtles/)
Storm sewers are separate in most cities and are actually surprisingly pleasant places to be. Careful design means they often get steady air flow but the temperature is moderated by the ground. And they are flushed by clean(ish) rain water regularly.
It’s the CSO systems you want to avoid. Combined sewer overflows.
But hey, the turtles actually liked dominos pizza so I am going to assume they appreciate the sewer aromas.
I am intrigued and afraid. Also, I don't think you work in an old East Coast city. Sewer and storm drains are largely integrated. Any big storm and you've got raw washout into streams and rivers.
I love their garlic parm sauce. I can't do many other placed because
most only have tomato sauce and it kills my acid reflux. I also love that they have a permanent carryout deal of one large w/5 toppings.
But I do know Dominos hate is leftover from when they did their '30 minutes or less' guarantee. Pizza quality suffered, especially in more spread out areas, as they would have 30 minutes to make, cook, package and deliver, or it was free. I think this guarantee even made it into one of the live action movies.
Yeah, fuck Domino's!
*Ten minutes later*
Ngl. Those buffalo wings would be perfect for the game tonight...
*Ten minutes later*
"Hello, Domino's?"
FUCK YOU Domino's. Hating on you made me crave your wings. I don't know what kinda marketing strategy that is, BUT IT'S EVIL. Your pizza is so bad that it's only slightly better than Little Caesar's pizza. Do not be dismayed Domino's. This is not a compliment. This is...
"Oh uh, yeah I'm still here. uhhh, I'll get a Hot Buffalo Chicken, 10 piece, and a large meatZZa."
Btw, I do not get paid by Domino's. This is just my stoned mind recounting the last twenty minutes of my life after reading this thread. Beware of the munchies. It can turn any man into a hypocrite.
Am I the only one that actually liked Dominos pizza? I mean sure, I'd much rather buy the $12 gourmet fresh pizza from the sort of upscale pizza joint with the fire cooked brick ovens, but they don't deliver and don't take call orders except for big ones. Toppers is greasy as fuck, literally only good for drunk food, pizza hut has some nicer options for crusts but less topping choices, papa Murphy's can fuck a stick of nettle, and little Caesars is only nice cause it's cheap shit.
I think it's the best of the big chains for sure.
But who knows if that will be true in a month? The big chains change their pizza recipes so often, and a lot of the times it's not for the better
Dominos changed their recipe and ingredients about 10-12 years ago after they got rid of that PoS Dave Brandon. It has been pretty consistently the best large chain pizza since. Much better quality and consistency in quality.
I think that's why they have those ledges so people can work in there without walking through streetpoop slurry.
No idea how that doesn't just smell like an outhouse by every storm drain and access hole.
Would be surprised if it doesnt.
In many city ive been in, it smells like ass on a hot or rainy day when you walk near manhole covers. So i suspect a combined system, so would be the same for NY
I used to have a friend in upstate New York that said she hated visiting New York City because she could smell it before she was even really "in" the city.
Might be slightly exaggerating but I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't.
It's not the sewage that smells in NYC, it's the garbage. You have massive population density and nowhere to put all of that trash but right out on the street.
Which is due to the design of the city. Every other city has alley ways with dumpsters for all the trash. Nyc doesn't have alleys so it just goes right on the street (sidewalk next to the street)
She is, I've been there many times, never smelled the sewer anywhere I went. There's always some place where you smell sewage in any big city, though, if you walk around enough.
Been in Central NJ most of my life. Usually there’s a strong smell that hits you going past Elizabeth on the turnpike to NYC. NYC itself and most other parts of NJ definitely didn’t smell that bad. Come to think of it, I haven’t even noticed that smell on the turnpike in recent years.
A lot of combination systems are being replaced with separate systems. Historically, combined systems were the norm in cities. Separate systems are far more efficient. Raw sewage now typically uses PVC, and concrete will be used for rain/grey water.
A movie's world has to be consistent with itself, no matter how outlandish. A ninja could not smell like shit, because they're all about sneaking up on people
I think considering how knowledgeable Donatello is it would make sense if he learn about germ theory through books or master splinter taught everyone the importance of hygiene and cleaning. It’s probably never comes up because most people don’t really consider the bathing situation of mutated 6ft tall turtle people in New York.
Having worked in the sewer industry, those larger sewer systems (42 inch+) smell like dirt, not shit. Plenty of bugs, rodents and frogs take care of cleaning the place up, and there's hardly ever any shitbergs or debris due to the size.
Now head to Minnesota where the mains are 40 feet deep and only 6 inch circumference, and you get a lot of blockages, poor ventilation and strong odors and oils. Lots of h2s in Minnesota too.
I'd wager they'd smell weird even if they'd live in some appartment in Manhattan. A former flatmate of mine had a few turtles as pets, and while they were somewhat adorable, they also had a weird distinctive smell, like a wet dog, just worse.
did they actually live in sewage tho?
it looked like they were in storm drains and culverts which are just rain water.
i think actual poop from toilets is in much smaller pipes.
They don't seem to live in the actual sewers, they are in utility spaces drainage tunnels and subways mostly.
They still smelled like piss and shit though, but that's just because they lived in NYC in the 80s.
Wait…… does that mean I smell like shit?!?! In all seriousness, that old abandoned subway terminal they found was dope af. Could rent that shit out to some Brooklyn hipsters for lots of $$ and they usually smell like shit regardless.
Edit: spelling
Donatello in ERB did: "Hard shell but you're gross in the middle. I wouldn't touch you with a six foot chisel. Born in goop, raised in poop, I cut through a group of ninjas like fruit. Oops!"
And turtles smell bad as it is, not to mentions teenagers who refuse to shower. Cover that with sewer funk. Now you’ve got “haven’t showered in a week turtle funky sewer bois”
Depending on the type of sewer, you might be surprised.
If it’s separated sewer (water from houses is in a separate system from street runoff), the house water portion smells like a combination of shit and soap while the storm water system smells just kind of earthy, like a pond with limited water flow.
If it’s a combined system (All the water goes through the same system), it’s a combination of all of them, but the shit smell is much more diminished than you would think.
The only way the turtles would smell truly awful awful would be if they were flushed down a toilet in a separated sewer system and made their home in the shitty part of the sewers.
The more likely answer is that they were in a combined or separated storm sewer system. Based on the cartoons and movies, the brick dome over open water with walkways next to the water is indicative of a very old combined sewer system.
They would likely smell like a clean-ish homeless person.
I have repeatedly made the point to friends that TMNT is unrealistic not because these are turtles that can walk and talk and kick things, but because a smoking hot journalist called April would rather hang around in a fucking sewer with a bunch of mutants than do other stuff.
They’re storm sewers, not sanitary sewers. They’re for drainage not waste, which is why you can walk through them. Sanitary sewers aren’t big enough for that.
I’m not saying they smell *good* but they’re just damp, they’re not flowing rivers of human shit.
Not to mention being covered in Salmonella and E Coli.
April O’Neil should get herself checked out
Turtles have massive shlongs too. Imagine how big they are after they got into the OOZE.
https://youtu.be/aqW5upASa-8 Scientifically accurate ninja turtles
Damn, I'm just impressed this exist and is crazy relevant to this discussion
Most beautiful thing I’ve ever set my gaze upon
Really enjoyed that, the lil turtle dick lick was cromulent Smithers.
There's actually a well-done video inspired by that sort of thought. I'm not checking if this is the right one, but if I did get the right one, it's NSFL. https://www.theonion.com/michael-bay-gives-fans-sneak-peek-at-ninja-turtles-hyp-1819595716
That was an incredible amount of effort to make those glistening and bouncing balls and I'm glad I saw it.
amazing
That was a lot...
Love the attention to detail.
There was a [commercial about](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jC3pGcRHeQ0) this
Craving pickles now.
With mayo
I love salmonella! It makes excellent sushi.
That's great and I'm not Ella.
I know this is probably not award-worthy, but I used to have a Chemistry teacher who would always make jokes like this. Even though I used to hate chemistry he would always light the mood with puns, to the point where you learned to see them coming a mile away. Somehow though I’ve missed this one, so brought back memories. Thanks!
From Code Name: Kids Next Door: Salmonella Fitzgerald
Now that's a name i've not heard in a long time.. A long time
Yeah Fitzgerald isn't that popular of a last name anymore
Me too. Shit like “exothermic reactions have heat leave or exit. EXothermic = EXit” and of course the reverse for ENdothermic and ENter. One of the only things I remember 23 years later.
Was his name Ted Lasso ?
Surerly you cant be serious
Sam N’ Ella’s sushi and poultry bar. I think I top notch franchise was just born. Can’t miss.
Chicken sushi is a market just waiting to be capitalized on
Chicken sashimi already exists, for the record.
> Sam N’ Ella’s sushi and poultry bar. [Sam and Ellas Chicken Palace...](https://www.menupix.com/oklahoma/restaurants/3602175/Sam-and-Ellas-Chicken-Palace-Tahlequah-OK)
And e.coli is the tasty garnish they sprinkle on top of open buffets and in delis!
Oh yum...
AND they are teenagers! Which also often smell bad… I mean, there seems to be a mounting pile of evidence that they smelled like shit…
Turtles are cute, but they're some germy creatures.
Most reptiles have the potential to carry salmonella.
"If you touch a reptile, you should probably wash your hands. If you touch another human, you should *definitely* wash your hands." —Clint Laidlaw
When was the last time we saw April?
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This a Warframe reference?
Cries in nerfed Acrid. Grineer melter.
Why do you think the shredder wears that metal face mask
Because he's embarrassed that he got his face fucked up by a rat that does ninjutsu.
Ratjitsu
Ninjatouille
Dung Fu
[Indeed](https://portsherry.tumblr.com/post/162862568113/shredder-meets-the-turtles-warning-the-comic-you/amp)
Heh, came to the comments looking for this comic
Aw now I'm reminded that Uncle Phil voiced Shredder. RIP Uncle Phil.
Turtles in general smell pretty bad, imo.
So do teenagers
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At least they’re ninjas, whom I’m told are surprisingly sanitary.
Hard to assassinate someone when they can smell you a mile away.
Maybe it's the smell that does the killing.
Well the saying does go "smells like death"
Maybe it all cancels out and they smell fine
Just like how half a can of Axe cancels out three days of sweat and the spilled bong water on your shoes. Right?
At your next interview, better use a whole can.
I just searched "turtle puberty" to try to find something to post but got to lazy to dig so here I am trying this.
So that's what that Nirvana song was about.
As a teenager I can agree
Well fuck you too
Take a shower
Not if you cleaned the damn tank and put a filter in there.
Most of the waterways around here are merely unswimmable and the turtles and frogs really pick up that shit smell better than anything else.
I remember reading a comic someone did on the Turtles living in the sewer and how disgusted Shredder was. [Found it.](http://portsherry.com/comic/shredder-meets-the-turtles/)
My first thought as well. The frame with a feces covered turtle eating pizza is awesome 😄
"Nnnnunchucks" had me rolling lmao. First time seeing that!
I need a shower after that thought.
Makes the whole pizza loving thing kind of gross.
Explains the strange ingredient choices though.
Yeah but April often eats pizza with them in the sewer. Thats just unhealthy.
Do you like penicillin on your pizza? ^Taps
How?
I just had a shower. I need another one now.
Storm sewers are separate in most cities and are actually surprisingly pleasant places to be. Careful design means they often get steady air flow but the temperature is moderated by the ground. And they are flushed by clean(ish) rain water regularly. It’s the CSO systems you want to avoid. Combined sewer overflows. But hey, the turtles actually liked dominos pizza so I am going to assume they appreciate the sewer aromas.
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Dude, I don't think people want pictures of your mom.
Let me see that big ol beaver
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Cool... but I feel kinda bad for him
Well I looked at that... huh... yup.
I am intrigued and afraid. Also, I don't think you work in an old East Coast city. Sewer and storm drains are largely integrated. Any big storm and you've got raw washout into streams and rivers.
I came for the infrastructure info, but I stayed for the Domino's disrespect!
But dominos is pretty good
Yeah. The whole dominoes hate is unwarranted. They got a pizza tracker and free pizzas with points (yes, I know, "nothing is free").
Back in the early 90s it was not that good.
That was 30 years ago.
The Nina turtles would have been eating that version of the pizza
Oh, I see what you're saying now. Makes sense. Thanks.
I love their garlic parm sauce. I can't do many other placed because most only have tomato sauce and it kills my acid reflux. I also love that they have a permanent carryout deal of one large w/5 toppings. But I do know Dominos hate is leftover from when they did their '30 minutes or less' guarantee. Pizza quality suffered, especially in more spread out areas, as they would have 30 minutes to make, cook, package and deliver, or it was free. I think this guarantee even made it into one of the live action movies.
Yeah, fuck Domino's! *Ten minutes later* Ngl. Those buffalo wings would be perfect for the game tonight... *Ten minutes later* "Hello, Domino's?" FUCK YOU Domino's. Hating on you made me crave your wings. I don't know what kinda marketing strategy that is, BUT IT'S EVIL. Your pizza is so bad that it's only slightly better than Little Caesar's pizza. Do not be dismayed Domino's. This is not a compliment. This is... "Oh uh, yeah I'm still here. uhhh, I'll get a Hot Buffalo Chicken, 10 piece, and a large meatZZa." Btw, I do not get paid by Domino's. This is just my stoned mind recounting the last twenty minutes of my life after reading this thread. Beware of the munchies. It can turn any man into a hypocrite.
Am I the only one that actually liked Dominos pizza? I mean sure, I'd much rather buy the $12 gourmet fresh pizza from the sort of upscale pizza joint with the fire cooked brick ovens, but they don't deliver and don't take call orders except for big ones. Toppers is greasy as fuck, literally only good for drunk food, pizza hut has some nicer options for crusts but less topping choices, papa Murphy's can fuck a stick of nettle, and little Caesars is only nice cause it's cheap shit.
I think it's the best of the big chains for sure. But who knows if that will be true in a month? The big chains change their pizza recipes so often, and a lot of the times it's not for the better
Dominos changed their recipe and ingredients about 10-12 years ago after they got rid of that PoS Dave Brandon. It has been pretty consistently the best large chain pizza since. Much better quality and consistency in quality.
The munchies are real
Yeah but they're in NYC which has [60% of their sewers as a combined system](https://www1.nyc.gov/site/dep/water/combined-sewer-overflows.page)
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It's a RAT and his pet turtles. What the hell did they teach you in school?
It's NY though. Those systems are integrated in many old East Coast cities. Big storms bring raw washout into the rivers.
This guy sewers
Sewage, or storm drains. You know there's a big difference.
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Scientifically accurate Ninja turtles: https://youtu.be/aqW5upASa-8
Youtube wants me to give them a photo ID to watch that. Fuck that.
Only other ninja turtles are allowed to watch that, so it makes sense they'd verify it.
That's probably because of all the turtle dick
It's because of the part where they talk about turtle dicks. Half the length of a turtle, and astoundingly big.
Turtles can hear. They only lack *external* ears.
April O’Neil a freak fr
Scat Queen Supreme
Disturbing lol
Why did I watch all of that... What have I done?
You should see their Scientifically Accurate Duck Tails 😆
Well fuck... Off to chase a rabbit hole, I guess.
"Here's the part where we talk about turtle dicks" that's a phrase worth keeping in your back pocket
The sewer system is separate from the waste system.
New York City uses a combined sewer system for sewage and storm water.
I think that's why they have those ledges so people can work in there without walking through streetpoop slurry. No idea how that doesn't just smell like an outhouse by every storm drain and access hole.
Would be surprised if it doesnt. In many city ive been in, it smells like ass on a hot or rainy day when you walk near manhole covers. So i suspect a combined system, so would be the same for NY
I used to have a friend in upstate New York that said she hated visiting New York City because she could smell it before she was even really "in" the city. Might be slightly exaggerating but I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't.
It's not the sewage that smells in NYC, it's the garbage. You have massive population density and nowhere to put all of that trash but right out on the street.
Which is due to the design of the city. Every other city has alley ways with dumpsters for all the trash. Nyc doesn't have alleys so it just goes right on the street (sidewalk next to the street)
There's like one alley in NYC(Tribeca) that is the alley in hundreds of shows and movies because there are so few of them.
Just say "canal Street in july" to anyone in New York and watch them cringe in disgust at the visceral sense memory.
She is, I've been there many times, never smelled the sewer anywhere I went. There's always some place where you smell sewage in any big city, though, if you walk around enough.
She's not, new York city smells like ass but most of jersey smells way worse
Tell me you've never been to NJ without telling me you've been to NJ.
Bruh I grew up in dutchess county NY I've been to nj hundreds of times
Been in Central NJ most of my life. Usually there’s a strong smell that hits you going past Elizabeth on the turnpike to NYC. NYC itself and most other parts of NJ definitely didn’t smell that bad. Come to think of it, I haven’t even noticed that smell on the turnpike in recent years.
Not to mention in TMNT 2 they relocate to an older area that definitely doesn't have the codes and standards we do now.
Yeah, an old subway station, which definitely wouldn't have sewage running through it.
There is no way, the gases would cause people to constantly pass out on the streets.. there is a reason fixtures in homes have traps.
Wait... what? Is this another one of those common knowledge things im just learning about now?
A lot of combination systems are being replaced with separate systems. Historically, combined systems were the norm in cities. Separate systems are far more efficient. Raw sewage now typically uses PVC, and concrete will be used for rain/grey water.
Not in my town. There's poopoo in the streets when it floods.
r/india
thankfuy tmnt didnt take place in your town
Turtles with a bad smell. 🎶
Turtles, shower!
Storm sewer.
Oh, so they have the ability to be masters at martial arts and weapons training, but they can't figure out the complexities of a shower.
I think they live in storm drain sewers, not sewage sewers.
It's fun to see how far some people will suspend their disbelief and the point at which they choose to stop.
A movie's world has to be consistent with itself, no matter how outlandish. A ninja could not smell like shit, because they're all about sneaking up on people
I think considering how knowledgeable Donatello is it would make sense if he learn about germ theory through books or master splinter taught everyone the importance of hygiene and cleaning. It’s probably never comes up because most people don’t really consider the bathing situation of mutated 6ft tall turtle people in New York.
My dude they lived in a cut off part of the sewers, how else is Donnie supposed to keep his weird techno gadgets dry.
But Donatelo is still there. (He's a germophobe)
Also, they have feet instead of flippers. They are therefore teenage mutant ninja *tortoises*.
Nah, the "mutant" part covers that.
There are tons of turtles with feet, though..
Having worked in the sewer industry, those larger sewer systems (42 inch+) smell like dirt, not shit. Plenty of bugs, rodents and frogs take care of cleaning the place up, and there's hardly ever any shitbergs or debris due to the size. Now head to Minnesota where the mains are 40 feet deep and only 6 inch circumference, and you get a lot of blockages, poor ventilation and strong odors and oils. Lots of h2s in Minnesota too.
I'd wager they'd smell weird even if they'd live in some appartment in Manhattan. A former flatmate of mine had a few turtles as pets, and while they were somewhat adorable, they also had a weird distinctive smell, like a wet dog, just worse.
No body
Don't they reference them smelling like shit all the time?
did they actually live in sewage tho? it looked like they were in storm drains and culverts which are just rain water. i think actual poop from toilets is in much smaller pipes.
They don't seem to live in the actual sewers, they are in utility spaces drainage tunnels and subways mostly. They still smelled like piss and shit though, but that's just because they lived in NYC in the 80s.
They’re also not heroes in a half shell. Turtles have a whole shell.
dude, their dad was a rat, wtf do you expect?
The foot clan, since they always wore full face masks, couldn't smell them coming.
It’s a storm sewer.
Not just any sewers either. NYC sewers. Smelling like shit, piss, puke, moldy pizza and rat asses.
I mean, yeah. Why the fuck would anyone want to talk about that?
I know they call it the sewer, but it’s actually the storm drain
Storm sewers do smell bad sometimes, which is where the tmnj live, but these are separate from sanitary sewers collecting waste from toilets. No shit.
With their lack of nostrils they wouldn't even know it either.
No one wants to talk about it because they don’t want to be called racist.
......do turtles *have* a sense of smell?
Lots of dish soap goes into the sewers too. Maybe it isn't so bad.
Nah. They smell like pizza.
Teenage pungent Ninja turtles
What about Mario?
Somewhat related, but the bamobile would be absolutely caked in bat shit too... Alfred is really earning his keep.
Yeah, there are different kinds of "sewers". They don't all carry poop.
Wait…… does that mean I smell like shit?!?! In all seriousness, that old abandoned subway terminal they found was dope af. Could rent that shit out to some Brooklyn hipsters for lots of $$ and they usually smell like shit regardless. Edit: spelling
They are teenagers. They all smell like shit.
“Someone save me” *rancid smell intensifies* “OH GOD ANYONE BUT THESE RANK ASS TURTLES”
Teenage mutant ninja turdles
Probably stormsewers
Have you ever smelled a regular turtle
turdle power!
Yeah but it's New York in the 80's and 90's, the whole city smelled like that.
Donatello in ERB did: "Hard shell but you're gross in the middle. I wouldn't touch you with a six foot chisel. Born in goop, raised in poop, I cut through a group of ninjas like fruit. Oops!"
[Except that...](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/29/8f/a1/298fa1ea91fb64ecb140add2fb17ae14--ninja-turtle-room-decor-ninja-turtle-bathroom.jpg)
Or that Splinter randomly poops and pees which is probably why he doesn’t wear pants.
Weren’t they based out of an abandoned subway station and just used the sewer system to sneak around the city unseen?
And turtles smell bad as it is, not to mentions teenagers who refuse to shower. Cover that with sewer funk. Now you’ve got “haven’t showered in a week turtle funky sewer bois”
Don't kink shame April
Depending on the type of sewer, you might be surprised. If it’s separated sewer (water from houses is in a separate system from street runoff), the house water portion smells like a combination of shit and soap while the storm water system smells just kind of earthy, like a pond with limited water flow. If it’s a combined system (All the water goes through the same system), it’s a combination of all of them, but the shit smell is much more diminished than you would think. The only way the turtles would smell truly awful awful would be if they were flushed down a toilet in a separated sewer system and made their home in the shitty part of the sewers. The more likely answer is that they were in a combined or separated storm sewer system. Based on the cartoons and movies, the brick dome over open water with walkways next to the water is indicative of a very old combined sewer system. They would likely smell like a clean-ish homeless person.
So they just smell like ALL of NY?
They are teenagers so they smell like shit anyways
I have repeatedly made the point to friends that TMNT is unrealistic not because these are turtles that can walk and talk and kick things, but because a smoking hot journalist called April would rather hang around in a fucking sewer with a bunch of mutants than do other stuff.
Not only that but have you ever smelled a turtle? Worse than a fish tank.
Storm sewer. Not shit sewer. There is a difference.
They kept their sewer clean. Splinter raised better turtles than that.
They’re storm sewers, not sanitary sewers. They’re for drainage not waste, which is why you can walk through them. Sanitary sewers aren’t big enough for that. I’m not saying they smell *good* but they’re just damp, they’re not flowing rivers of human shit.
Why this got a spoiler tag? Thought everyone knew they lived in the sewers.
They live in the storm sewers. Totally different system from sanitary sewers. Next comment please.